Willin'

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

She pivoted on a boot heel, and carefully leaned back to rest against the transparisteel. The stars could wait for her. Samus needed her. She'd never seen him like this. Felled to the floor, eyes low. He spoke with a gravel-heavy voice that rebelled against the act of forming words. It pained her to see it, but she recognized a piece of herself in Samus in this moment, and she hoped that she could use that common feeling to reach him.

T'yeellaa pressed the palms of her hands against the glass. It was pleasingly cold, and that coldness sobered her own emotions, keeping her on task.

"Tell me about herr," T'yeellaa urged, her ears pivoting up and forward. It wasn't just the telling for his benefit. This was a whole part of his life that he'd carefully kept under seal and away from their time together. It was important to him, and that meant it was important to her in turn.

"jI want to know everrjythjing, orr at leasst what jyou thjink jyou can talk to me about. jI'll alwajyss ljissten."

[Q. Samus Dage]

She kept a distance that he appreciated, but at the same time it was a distance that he desperately wished to be shortened. But, he digested her words and the request she'd made with a stoic silence that spoke volumes to the memories he was reliving all at once.

"She... "

How did one even begin to quantify a mother?

"... she was always there when you needed her. Whether it was to make breakfast, bandage your scrapes, or just sit with you and tell you stories about the stars."

He could still remember so long ago, when he was sitting outside in the tall razorgrass after a stern talking to from his father about some sort of misbehavior... she had sat next to him and wrapped an arm across his shoulders in comfort, telling him that everything would be okay.

"She never told stories like my Da... she was more the type to comfort you when you needed it, and her laugh was the most amazing thing to listen to."

Finally he looked up, but his eyes stared ahead, not to T'yeellaa.

"I always told myself I would go back home soon. Always told myself I wouldn't wait forever."

Again his features screwed tight, eyes clenching shut as his head bowed once more.

"Guess that doesn't matter now."

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"Gai'tou, that'ss not fajirr."

She pushed off the glass, approaching the pilot's nest. If her approach was too forward, he'd let her know. But she wanted to be close to him, and she needed to feel his emotions in a tactile manner.

"Nobodjy knowss when jit'ss thejirr tjime, orr when jitss ssomeone elsse'ss tjime forr that matterr. jYou can't look back and get sstuck on what jif. Therre arre too manjy of thosse. What jif thjiss, what jif that?"

Carefully, she entered the pilots nest, finding a spot of floor next to Samus without being presumptuous enough to touch him yet.

"jYou love jyourr motherr. jIt ssoundss ljike sshe loved jyou too. Tell me a sstorrjy."

Her head inclined against the console as she rolled her shoulders.

"No platjitudess. Don't wrrjite an objituarrjy. Tell me ssomethjing jyou rrememberr vjivjidljy. jI neverr got to meet herr, and jI want to."

[Q. Samus Dage]

He thought on that request, quiet as his memories flashed by at a breakneck speed that seemed to also move slower than a mountain trying to shift about. Time stood still and flashed by all at once, and finally he let out a long, pent-up breath.

"There was one time," he started slowly, "... I was probably only ten. My brother and I had been out helping Da put together a fence, and I managed to send a tack-nail through my hand; well, not through it technically, but pretty much up to the head, with the tip poking out through my palm. It hurt like the dickens, and I screamed bloody murder. Micah started screaming too, but Da just stared down at me, grabbed my wrist to have a look, then grumbled about how it didn't look that bad and that if I was gonna stand there crying I should just head back to the house and have Mother pull it out."

Slowly, he held up his hand to stare at his left palm, then slowly extended it so that T'y could see the scar that still remained to this day; a puckering of skin on each side.

"I walked in the kitchen door wailing, and she just took me up and told me it would be ok, and that I wouldn't have to have it cut off or anything else that my little brain thought would happen."

A sigh.

"And she was right, and she wrapped my hand up in a warm towel, gave me a glass of fizzypop with a medicine pill, then opened up her medicine drawer. She always had a special drawer in the kitchen that she kept stitching needles, wraps, disinfectant wipes, and packets of bacta cream in. She said it was her little medward. She knew how to use all that stuff too; she used to be a volunteer nurse, and always worked the brandings in case someone got burned by the irons or their fingers broken are anything else that tended to happen. It was how she met my Da, at one of those things.

"But anyway, she got me to stop crying, and was telling me about all the stuff I'd still be able to do after I healed up, all while spreading bacta cream around where the nail was. I didn't even feel it when she pulled it out, or when she was stitching me up. She just did it, and never stopped talking the whole time."

He made a face, then.

"Da had a look at it a few days later, and just said that I wasn't allowed to use the nail puncher anymore."

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

It was a vivid telling, and T'yeellaa could easily feel the presence of Samus' mother in his words. The pucker scar in his hand hadn't escaped her attention before. She had a topographical awareness of every feature in the way that intimacy demanded. But he was a man with no shortage of scars, and always a story behind them. Now, it was one more solved mystery. And with it came a realization and a sadness. What comfort did Samus have when he left home behind for the rebellion. Who salved his wounds, the ones you could see and the ones you couldn't? She cradled his hand in hers, only now feeling like she could.

"Ssamuss, jif jyou could ssee herr agajin, what would jyou tell herr?"

[Q. Samus Dage]

"That I love her."

The words were out without thought, and he brought in a slow breath before letting it back out again with as just a plodding pace.

"Wasn't kidding when I said me and my Da had angry words when I left. We were yelling at each other, and Mother just sat at the table in the kitchen crying. She left for her bedroom after I laid a right hook on my old man, and that was the last I saw of her. Never got to say goodbye or anything."

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

She couldn't tell him to shrug it off, or to stop blaming himself, not with any honesty. This all felt familiar by degrees.

"jI don't rrememberr the lasst thjing Papa Taurrifar ssajid to me, but jI rrememberr the lasst thjing unssajid."

She had to unpack her own hidden scars for him. This wasn't his burden to bear alone.

"jI wassn't dojing anjythjing jimporrtant. jI thjink jI wass lookjing overr a dutjy rrossterr, but jit wassn't ljife orr death. jI got a comm frrom home, and jit wass Papa'ss frrequencjy. jI don't know whjy, but jI put hjim off. jI let jit go to majil. He djidn't leave a messsage, sso jit couldn't have been that jimporrtant."

T'yeellaa caressed Dage's hand.

"That would've been the lasst tjime we talked togetherr, jif onljy jI pjicked up the comm. The next call jI got frrom home wass a week laterr, and - and - jit wass motherr. Sshe told me papa wass dead."

The K'ohta'rrou's posture stiffened, and she seemed to bear the weight with a similar stoicism to Samus'.

"jIf jyou let jyourrsself ljingerr on what mjight have been, jit wjill onljy hurrt jyou."

[Q. Samus Dage]

Her telling hit closer to home than he anticipated, and Samus continued to star down at the deckplates between his legs. His hand was relaxed in her grip for a few moments longer before his fingers curled inward to grasp her own. She had become a lifeline now, in this time and place, and the blonde again thanked his lucky stars that she'd been the one to find him.

"I know I can't linger," he finally started in a low, rumbling voice that seemed somehow... small.

"And I'll get better, it's just... just right now... "

There was no way for him to articulate the pain, and so Samus simply let himself lean into her, his head angling to the side so that his forehead rested against her shoulder.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"Ssamuss, jyou'rre not gojing to get betterr. Thjiss doessn't worrk that wajy."

She supported his weight as he leaned in, and rested a hand lightly at the back of his hair.

"jIt wjill alwajyss sstajy wjith jyou. jYou'll be able to carrrjy jit mosst dajyss. Everrjy now and agajin, jyou won't. And that'ss okajy. jYou have to let jyourrsself know jitss okajy. jIf that meanss crrjyjing, then crrjy jit out. But jyou have to take what jyou werre gjiven of herr and keep jit closse. jI know jyou. jI know how harrd jit jiss forr jyou to hearr that jyou can't jusst rrub ssome djirrt on jit and pack jit awajy. Beljieve me, jI've trrjied that. jYou don't want to."

[Q. Samus Dage]

He didn't have the energy to argue, or really even continue the line of discussion, and so Samus simply didn't answer. He was quiet as he sat, leaning into her. Right now it was what he needed, and whatever came after today he'd deal with it then.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"jYou'rre not alone, Gai'tou," T'yeellaa whispered as he remained close, "No one sshould everr face thjiss alone. And jI'm not jusst talkjing about me."

She pried him away from her shoulder just enough to make eye contact.

"Whateverr'ss between jyou and jyourr fatherr, jyou need to fjind a wajy to mend jit."

[Q. Samus Dage]

He stared into her eyes, those depthless blues that he always seemed to get lost in.

A deep breath, and with a small groan, the blonde slowly extricated himself from her hold so that he could slowly rise to his feet.

She was right, of course. With Mother gone, there was only one parent left, and it was best for both father and son to rebuild those old fences.

"Got any pointers?"

It was a question meant to try and lighten the mood in some fashion, as he reached a hand out for her to take so that she too could stand.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

She laughed, accepting Dage's hand to stand as she thought about her own mixed success at bridging the gap.

"Nothjing that would sspecjifjicalljy worrk jin jyourr casse. Mjy motherr jiss the exceptjion to exceptjionss."

T'yeellaa hung onto her words, chewing lightly on her lip before continuing.

"But jI thjink that at the hearrt of a famjiljy djissagrreement, everrjyone hass to underrsstand that famjiljy jiss a thjing larrgerr than anjy one perrsson. Ego and prrjide can put bljinderrss on, but jif thejy carre about that, thejy can eventualljy ssee what matterrss."

Still holding Dage's hand, she gave it a squeeze before leading him along by it.

"Come on, Gai'tou. Tjime to put that to the tesst."

[Q. Samus Dage]

He let her lead him on, though there was a strange resistance to what she had said.

"Family is important," they passed through the doorway leading out into the corridor from the bridge, "... but a person isn't defined by their family."

Angling forward, he maintained his grip on her hand while lifting the other up to muss her hair and pull her close in the same motion.

"Otherwise I'd see you as nothing but a flesh-seeking shark, looking for young prey to feast upon like a certain matron who had no qualms about stuffing her comm slip into my pants."

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"Who'ss to ssajy jI'm not?"

T'yeellaa kept her hand over his, looping her tail around the small of his back as he drew her in. She drew up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

"jI'm jusst betterr at jit."

She parted, but not before nipping lightly at his earlobe, discreet enough to pass beneath any watching eyes.

"Now sstop drraggjing jyourr heelss orr jI'll assk jyourr fatherr jif he can sshow me how to usse a sshaak whjip."