A New Life

[Vhiran Antilles]

Vhiran breathed out a small laugh at that. Work off his debt. As if that was some sort of task that was easily accomplished. The reality couldn't possibly be any further from that notion, especially if you got metaphorical about it, and started looking at all the other red in his ledger that had accumulated over the years. It wasn't just the medical bills. It wasn't just the pain he'd caused by driving Emelie away the way he had. It went all the way back to the beginning: back to the kid he'd met in Kalresh, the broken and traumatised little girl who'd smiled, who'd spoken to him before she was willing to speak to anyone else, who'd bummed him smokes and everything else he needed; the girl he couldn't stop himself from coming back to rescue the day they finally let her out; the girl who'd followed him into a life of crime without hesitation, who'd gone from protégé to partner to everything else without him even realising. Maybe he'd played a part in shaping the woman she'd become - maybe too much of a part; and maybe he'd shaped things the wrong way before her life came along and fixed it - but she'd done the same to him. He'd tried to carve her out of his life, but he couldn't: it wasn't possible. Sever all ties, and she was still there: that lopsided smile and those irresistible eyes leaving a permanent imprint on his soul.

And here she was, reaching out. Wanting him to stay. Not just asking: she was giving him absolutely no choice in the matter. It was what Vhiran wanted, what he secretly hoped for; and at the same time, he didn't want it at all, and had dreaded the possibility. He wasn't meant to receive forgiveness. Didn't deserve it. It made the debt too big; too impossible to ever pay off. Pretty sweet deal for him in the long run, but for her?

"You realise that if we're talkin' about payin' off what I owe you, you're gonna be stuck with me for a damn long time, right love?"

[Emelie Shadowstar]

"Somehow I think I'll manage," Emelie replied, hinting at nonexistent pain at the thought.

Despite whatever had brought them back together - probably more man than mystery if she considered it - Emelie was actually glad. Not that she wouldn't have been happy with any number of individuals coming around. Some were just drinking partners, others deeper and more complicated relationships; but friends - true friends; the ones you could really count on - were few and far between. Yeah, as far as those Emelie could name they were all a bunch of frak ups who had burned bridges or vanished without a trace, but she wasn't one for holding grudges if it could be helped, life was too short. The galaxy was just one big mess, anyway; people were just trying to hold on most of the time and everyone had their reasons. Vhiran, though? He was some sort of jagged little puzzle piece that was missing; one of very few Emelie cared to acknowledge. Some would never find their way back to her, but Vhi had and it made her feel more like herself in a way to just have him around once more.

"That is, if you think you can keep from shooting my business partner again." The joke died away on her lips as Emelie felt a sigh escape as her eyes wandered away from Vhiran. "Hells, I'm not sure whether to shoot him myself or apologize next time I see him. Maybe both, maybe neither."

A slight laugh, more resembling another heavy breath left her as she looked back. "Nothing can ever be easy or simple for the likes of us, can it?"

[Vhiran Antilles]

A lopsided smile tugged at his pale cheeks. "Complicated is just life's way of stoppin' things from gettin' too boring. People like you an' me -"

He faltered, wondering if that was even a thing he was allowed to say any more. Were they still alike enough for that comparison? Emelie was all respectable-like these days, a person of status and standing, of - well, not wealth, but certainly a comfortably sized credit balance. It felt wrong to act as if they were alike; felt dishonest. Yet at the same time, it felt dishonest not to. Felt wrong to insist that the gulf between them was unbridgeable; to act as if they couldn't reverse course on drifting apart. Maybe that meant that Vhiran needed to change. Almost definitely, in fact. Stop being a stubborn ass. Stop waiting for the universe to grind you down into dust. Maybe his life, or lack thereof, mattered to people other than himself again. Maybe Sadie being here was the universe trying to smack him up the side of the head with that reality, since he wasn't listening hard enough so far.

"People like us, love," he reaffirmed, making sure his eyes found Emelie's, making sure she understood it wasn't just a hollow sentiment, "We aren't exactly the quiet life sorta type. I mean, look at you: Miss Respectable Business on the surface, but then it's all criminal underworld behind the scenes. If you tried the white picket fence, you'd be in a coma before the end of the week. That's why you've gotta 'ave people like me around; add a little spice from time to time."

His smile didn't falter, but he felt his chest clench a little, more invested in Emelie's answer than he wanted to be. "You miss it, right? Y'know, 'avin' me around to make life interestin'?"

[Emelie Shadowstar]

He was right, and it was something Emelie had known for a long time. It explained a lot things, really; recent events included. Any sane person would have used their connections and fought back more aggressively from some unknown entity trying to end their life as it had been. She though? Emelie had just walked away. Perhaps not just, but leaving Silenus had been far easier than she had thought. Leaving Xavier had been easier than she thought.

And here she was, sitting face to face with the reason. Or at least one of them. There was a feeling of guilt attached to that, but it always came back to Emelie and her bad boys - all of which were just representatives of Vhiran in one way or another. She needed the trouble in her life, needed the danger and the thrill that went with it. Pure and simple she was an addict, but then again so was everyone else in the galaxy - she'd built up a tiny Empire just based on that thought alone; everyone needs something. Emelie still wasn't entirely sure what exactly it was she needed, but there was some sort of painful truth that it probably had something to do with Vhiran. Damn him.

"I guess so," Emelie replied, letting it come out as an exasperated sigh. The quirk to her lips that followed proved she wasn't exactly being negative about it. "Just do me a favor and try to not make things too interesting, okay? I think we've had enough for one day."

She leaned back in the seat and finally let her hand slip away from his. Her lips pursed as a thought came to her - so preposterous that it made her cringe to realize that there was even a slim chance of it being true.

Emelie let another curt laugh leave before she finally got the nerve to ask. "Just to avoid anymore unnecessary surprises when you're well enough to get back to things... The name Montegue doesn't mean anything to you, does it?"

[Sadie K'Vesh]

***

What a day. Okay, so if Sadie were downright honest with herself the whole bailin' outta th' Underworld was probably a might bit on the drama side of things that she weren't too keen on. Amends would have t' be made for that sort of dren but she'd take her time with it, figure out the right sort of thing to do in recompense. Maybe. Weren't like the whole lot'a 'em didn't have it comin' anyhow. Weren't even things she'd wanted t' get off her chest for a space or nothin' like that, had just been things that needed t' go and be said. Bosslady did need to shore up and stop making daft mistakes and Atton did need to stop meddlin'. Was grand that he had the ability to, but maybe if he just went and asked or somethin' rather than tryin' to keep pullin' pleasant surprises out of the bag... Inyos had been right though, guy was doin' it because he thought it was the right thing to do in a way. Weren't nothin' malicious 'bout it... not really, anyhow.

Took a bit of the fight out of her when the reality of what all Atton had done once again came and slapped her upside th' head. Sadie figured that had a whole heap to do with her upset. Felt like she had no free will and such. Then again, since The Force wasn't apparently some whole heap of bunk and it was able to go and mess with stuff in order to keep the Galaxy runnin'... did anyone really have a say in what went down?

Sadie tried to not let that thought linger too much, more lettin' her mind drift off aimlessly as it pondered chords and code and... tryin' to not let Vittore on to the speeder wreck of the day since she didn't want him worryin' none. Or worse - takin' a blaster to Atton himself.

Course that was doomed to failure at step one, really since she entered the Tide and crash landed on the couch in the main livin' area. Face first into the cushions before she managed to roll over and look upwards. Vitt was sure to know she'd returned and with a voice that would carry at least as far as th' cockpit - though might be a bit of a strain to hear all that far - Sadie blurted out the million credit question.

"Please for th' lov'a all, tell me y' don't know no one or ain't never gone after named Vhiran Antilles."

[Vittore Montegue]

Vittore wasn't in the cockpit when Sadie called; not that it made a difference in terms of how easy her voice was to hear. Stopping part way through his furious efforts to scrub the towel over his damp hair, leaving it misdirected and askew, he frowned at the question that he'd managed to hear most of. Maybe some of the initial context had been muffled; on autopilot he started heading for the door, an accidental bare-footed step on the buckle of a discarded belt reminded him of his situation, and a quick frantic effort wrapped the slightly too small towel around his unclothed and still slightly glistening waste.

"Uh -" he started to reply, appearing in the door frame of his quarters. He'd got into the habit of leaving the thing permanently open, wanting to seem approachable any time if Sadie ever needed him and all that; but showers hadn't really factored into that particular concept, which was maybe cause for some revision. Initially he didn't even spot Sadie, a few quick sweeps of the common area taken before he spotted the pair of legs jutting out from the edge of one of the couches. He leaned sideways against the bulkhead, and got half-way towards folding his arms across his chest before panic and an inadequately secured towel made them snap back to his waist and grab hold of things, just in case.

"Don't think I know any Vhiran's," he replied, brow furrowing deeper as he dredged through his memory. An old contact maybe? An old client? An old mark? Why was Sadie even asking anyway? Not that her reasoning made a difference to how willing he was to reply, of course. "I've got an uncle Victor, if that helps?"

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Restless body meant she didn't stay starin' up at the ceilin' but instead rolled back onto her stomach and inched across the couch until her arms could rest against it's... well... armrest. She perched her chin there, casually letting her head roll a bit to the side as she took in the sights. There probably would have been a time when she would have gone and gotten all sheepish and blushed and apologized a great deal for catchin' Vitt in such a state, and it weren't like seein' him with no clothes was some sorta regular in their lives or nothin' like that yet, but he didn't exactly seem to mind so she didn't neither. Not on a day like t'day anyhow.

"Not really. Though, yeah at th' same time." Sadie let out a breath through lips just shy of whistlin' and angled the puff of air at a stray strand of hair that was tryin' t' fall over one of her eyes. "Bosslady's managed t' go an' find herself a relic of days yonder. Her's and mine, 'pparently. An' wouldn't-cha know it, all sorts a past mess came narrowed on th' shoulders of one Atton Kira yet 'gain. Just a mind trip an' a half, that."

She was ramblin', Sadie knew it. Didn't even have a whole lot'a impact left in it for her since she'd gotten most of the emotion out when talkin' with Inyos. Now she was just spillin' facts out, probably on account of wantin' Vitt to hear it from her before anyone else.

"Guess 'm jus'... glad t' be home now where that sort of dren can't touch me no more." Sadie tried to go and add one of them non committal type shrugs but it didn't work out right given her position.

"Sorry, didn't mean t' unload like that. Not while y're all..." She wiggled fingers at him at some attempt at clarification. "Y'know."

[Vittore Montegue]

Atton Kira, a manipulative son of a bitch? Who knew?

The thought rattled around inside Vittore's head, but he kept it there. An older him - well a younger him; older version though, that kinda thing - would probably have just come out of it; wouldn't have cared any about keeping opinions to himself and all that. This newer him wasn't exactly the secret keeping type neither, not unless you were talking about keeping feelings bottled up and all that; and that was something he was working on. But this? Nah. Nothing gained from badmouthing Sadie's uncle, especially not when she was all off-balance about the guy.

Sure, there were times when you know what, screw that guy was the response that people needed; but it didn't really seem like Sadie was looking to get her anger validated, or waiting for someone to deflect the blame from herself and onto where it was supposed to belong. This was more of a lost thing; having a family was new to her and all that, and Vittore sure as hell knew all about feeling screwed over and betrayed by your blood. Thing was, he'd had a whole lifetime to build up that undercurrent of tolerance; that special, extra thick hide in certain places that let you forgive brothers and fathers for all kinds of shit that they probably didn't deserve forgiving for. Sadie didn't have that; Sadie had Atton Kira, and that was that. Didn't matter the kind of ass he was, didn't matter how much he manipulated and pulled on people's strings; he could be the second damn coming of Palpatine, and it wouldn't matter. Atton didn't deserve infinite forgiveness, but Sadie deserved to have someone deserving of that, and in the absence of all other options, Atton Kira would just have to do.

"Hey," he shrugged, "If talkin' is what y'need, then listenin' is what I'm here for. You know that." He risked a one handed grip on the towel so that he could reach out and pat the door frame beside him. "Ain't just open for ventilation, y'know."

There was more to say, bubbling up behind all that; a bow wave of sentiment that he wasn't quite ready to just come out and say, and wasn't sure if Sadie was quite ready to just hear out of nowhere. He wasn't going to keep it all locked down, but it was uneven ground, y'know? Needed to tread carefully and all that; mind out for the quicksand and the land mines.

"Kinda sounds like less of a towel conversation, an' more of a beer an' pants conversation t' me, though. You sit tight, babe, I'll be right back."

With a quick flash of a wink - oh gods, what the damn hell was he doing? - and a nudge against the frame, leaning became standing and Vittore was already turning on his heel to wander back into his cabin. Of course, all that attention on making sure stuff was covered up front had come at the expense of round back, a helpful little waft of breeze pointed out to him. Another terribly unwise flash of impulse fired in his motor cortex, and with a tug and a whip the towel came completely free and was tossed haphazardly over his shoulder out into the common area, a split second of his moisture dappled ass left out on display before he disappeared out of view.

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Was funny how a stupid simple word could make it feel like your insides were going to squirm. Somethin' about he way Vitt called her babe made Sadie feel downright foolish. Enough so that she probably couldn't fully appreciate the li'l show he put on.

"That an invite?" A teasin' sort of reply.

Both of them knew it weren't gonna lead to nothin'. They usually got about as far as hands creepin' before she pulled away. Not conscious like, but damn if the marks left on her didn't etch themselves in her head good and deep as well. Didn't take much for her to not feel like she was herself nowadays. Which was a downright shame when she caught sight of the guy she was all emotionally tangled with. She never used to hesitate on that sort of thing, physical stuff was fun after all. Frakkin' scars, man; they needed to hurry up and start fadin'.

As much as she didn't want to move, and knew that really if she didn't Vitt would do the deed for the both of 'em, Sadie weren't much on bein' handed stuff. A flinch - probably one of them more psychosomatic things considerin' where her head had briefly wandered off to - accompanied liftin' herself off the couch and lingered for the first few steps towards the cooler where the beer was kept. Another one of them aimed blows of air left her as she opened it up b'fore Sadie finally had the gumption to shove the stray hair bit behind her ear with a hand.

"We're gettin' low. Gonna make a supply run then, tomorrow. Probably after Inyos tries t' teach me..." She lingered, still not sure with how much Vitt was even comfortable with what she was learnin'. There was knowin' your partner was capable of stuff and then there was bein' upside the head smacked with it. "Just yeah, I'll pick up some more."

Two bottles were snagged with one hand, the cooler shoved back shut with the other before Sadie made her way back to the couch and plunked herself down. Tops came off - bottles, not hers - and she drank from one while holdin' the other up and out for Vitt to take in perfect timin' with his return.

"Think th' fridge is on th' fritz too. Ain't as cold as normal. Or maybe it's just my head messin'. Been that kinda day."

[Vittore Montegue]

He was naked in a room with the door open, and she was asking if it was an invite. Okay so sure, they were taking things slow - and to be honest, Vittore was kinda glad for that. Gave him the chance to be careful, to make sure that he was getting everything right; felt like one of those rare situations where you wanted to be sure you weren't cocking things up. Wasn't like he was pushing either, or being impatient. Truth be told, he was actually enjoying all this other stuff, the fact that Sadie could fall asleep on the couch with her against his shoulder because they weren't intent on jumping each other's bones at the first opportunity. There wasn't any impatience, there wasn't any sense of needing to get to the good parts as quickly as possible before they drifted away; not just because it didn't exactly feel like either of them were going anywhere any time soon, but because these felt like the good parts.

But then there was the other side of it: the part that woke him up all flustered and guilty-feeling because of what his subconscious had spent the night imagining; the part of him that needed to be kept on a leash every time they kissed just so he wouldn't have to feel the ache if his hands roamed too far and she pulled herself away. It was the part of him that wanted to make her feel special, wanted to make her feel wanted, but in a casual way. The romance equivalent of leaving cookies out on the table - no one's gonna force you to eat them, but you wanna make sure that everyone knows they're there if you're hungry for it.

That was the train of thought clattering around his head as he dragged on a discarded pair of denim pants and fumbled with the fastenings. What do you say to that? How do you say of course it is, babe; I wanna tear your clothes off the instant you're willin' to let me while at the same time saying no worries, babe; we don't need to do a thing until you feel ready to? Because both were true, and it was complicated as hell - and scary as hell for that matter, too. Nothing more terrifying than falling for the perfect girl, and finding yourself precariously balanced on a razor thin line between staying with her forever and screwing everything up in the worst way possible.

Part of him wanted to just walk out there as he was: pants, and nothing else. Part of him wanted to cheat his way into feeling her hands on his chest when she leaned against him, by simple virtue of just not having anything in the way. It was the same part of him that idly entertained notions of accidentally bumping into her as she stepped out of the shower, the part of him that hoped that leaving his cabin door open would mean that one night she'd creep in just to curl up next to him. He hated it. Hated that side of him. Hated that he'd somehow transformed from galaxy-renowned space badass into lovesick puppy after just one look in her eyes. It was worse than that, even.

I'm turnin' into my Forcedamned brother.

That was a sobering thought, one that occupied his attention as he grabbed a plain black tee that he'd somehow managed to drape over the corner of the closet door when he'd absent-mindedly discarded it earlier. He dragged it over his head as he walked back out into the common area, struggling a little to convince the fabric to not snag against the slightly moist patches of shower-damp skin.

"I'll have Katie take a look of it," Vittore promised casually - small talk and all that - as Sadie handed the bottle in his direction. Damn it though if she didn't go and make his efforts to be calm and casual pretty much impossible; the same stupid smile she always dragged out of him started tugging at the corner of his mouth. He decided to hide it, cover for the squirmy feeling inside by trying to make Sadie feel kinda the same, settling a gentle hand on her arm and leaning in to press a matching gentle kiss against her forehead. "Missed you," he said softly, his fingertips trailing down until they managed to loosely snare a grip on Sadie's hand.

"C'mon," he said as he pulled back, letting the smile flourish, his hand tugging a little against Sadie's. "We got beer, and I've got pants. How about we get cosy on the couch, an' y' can tell me about whoever this damned Vee Ran guy or whatever his name was, what Uncle Atton went an' done did t' get y' all twisted up inside, an' how badly I need t' break the both of them sons of bitches because of it."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

That was the problem with goin' straight from Force learnin' to regular Sadie. Inyos was teachin' her how to extent her awareness and all that good stuff, things she'd apparently already instinctively knew how to go 'round doin' but never had a solid handle on. Sadie had always thought of what she could do as some personal thing, an inner thing that was kept locked up until she needed use of it and even then it only went so far as makin' her a little different here and there; not in the way that went and mattered but just faster. The whole reachin' out thing was new and apparently damn hard to shut fully off. Maybe it weren't meant to be, but Sadie weren't too keen on a new tool bein' unwieldy or non-coop.

Not that she was all kinds of aware of everythin', she weren't that good and that was somethin' Sadie was downright thankful for. Nah, this was more simple, a knowledge that Vitt was conflicted on somethin'. He was good at hidin' stuff like that and this new sort of sneakin' know how felt a twinge like betrayal. If Vitt didn't want someone - her of all folks - knowin' fully somethin' then there was a damn good reason for it.

"No no; no breakin' folks needed." Sadie waved off the notion with a small flourish of beer-in-hand. "I guess... it's like old news, yeah? Don't really matter at th' end of th' day on account that it don't really change nothin'. Done is done, sorta dren."

She waited for Vitt to sit down before leanin' off to one side so her shoulder could press into his. Was somethin' comfortin' about that simple contact. Another swig of beer was taken before she kept babblin' on.

"One of them way back in the day deals. Used t' run with the guy - Vhiran, that is. Helped him pull con jobs and small bank deals when I was still learnin' th' ropes. Was his sorta... I dunno, teenage pupil or whatnot. However it's gone and called, was pretty decent livin' though." A shrug and another drink of beer let her pause for a bit. "Then one day he just... kinda up an' shut me out. Vanished with no reason sorta deal. 'Cept t'oday I go an' find th' reason. Maybe it found me."

Sadie wanted to still have a bit of anger for the next bit, but couldn't. It'd dulled down too much since the initial.

"Atton. Made Vhi go an' pick between workin' with me an' keep gettin' info on the bosslady. Not really much of a choice, 'pparently, given how he feel's 'bout Em. Though, guess that's what Atton was after. Knew damn well which Vhi would go for. So I was left on m' onsies again an' m' uncle got his way of tryin' t' keep what he thinks were bad influences out'a m' life."

One more drink and damn if she didn't finish the rest of the bottle. Sadie kinda stared at the emptiness of it for a sec or two before she let it rest back in her lap.

"Just vexes me. I guess like I said, past is past an' I can get behind th' fact he was just doin' what he thought needed doin', but I'm still tryin' t' wrap my head 'round him even existin' and this whole deal with him promisin' t' not t' make himself all known t' me or somethin'. I got a mom out there that wants nothin' doin' with me an' told my uncle t' frell off an' he did anythin' but. Gotta give him credit there. I guess I jus' feel like I ain't had a real say in my life. Kinda bugs."

[Vittore Montegue]

Vittore frowned, letting the words slowly sink in; not a skeptical frown, but a contemplative one; one that concentrated and considered the fragments of explanation that Sadie's drawling accent rambled his way. It sounded not familiar per se, and yet there was something about it that struck a chord. Maybe it was the absentee family. Maybe it was the puppet master, tugging on strings to make your life dance the way he thought was best. Maybe it was just the notion of old pain, nearly healed and forgotten wounds being picked open and not bleeding in quite the profuse way you might have expected. Maybe all of it. Maybe none.

Didn't help shake an answer loose though; didn't provide Vittore with any solace or wisdom to offer in response. The only advice that had ever sounded right to his mind was to just leave that kind of family here in the dust, try to take on the galaxy alone; but he barely seemed to make it five paces before his heart started building a new one, be it made of droids, or damsels, or douchebag information brokers. It was a weird feeling, realising that this gathering here on Cloud City was a few degrees of comfort and acceptance away from being his new home and family; and that made this problem between Sadie and Atton his business in a way, even if it ought not to be.

Should be Mama Shadowstar fixing this, he mused idly, playing catch up with Sadie's racing efforts to empty her bottle. He frowned a moment, ran through a sentence in his mind. No good. Another swig of beer. Another practised line. Closer. Better.

"Your uncle is an ass."

It came out blunter than Vittore intended, but he didn't regret that.

"A manipulative, secretive, arrogant, condescendin' ass. He knew where you were this whole time, let you endure all kinds a' shit an' loneliness for, what, some dumb promise to a woman who ain't even here t' know if he's keepin' it or not? It's stupid as hell, and I ain't got the patience for people pullin' that kinda crap. Son of a bitch like that ain't owed any sorta forgiveness or understandin'. Frag him, y'know?"

His brow furrowed deeper.

"But you ain't me. You ain't had a family there in your face lettin' y' down y' whole life like I had. Y' ain't lost faith in 'em the way I have. Y' ain't had t' fight, ain't had t' stand y' ground, push back against 'em if you ain't happy with how they're doin' what they're doin'. Atton Kira doesn't deserve any slack from you, so don't give him none. Go yell. Go scream. Go tell him it's frakked up and you ain't gonna stand for it no more. Let him know where the boundaries are if he's gonna be a part of your life; 'cause if anyone needs a lesson in boundaries an' knowin' when to cease an' desist, it's your dear old uncle."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie was glad she'd managed to finish her beer - probably would have done some sort of spit-take with what Vitt said and that would have just been a damn shame and a waste. An ass. Yeah, that was a fair summary. And she wanted to go and be mad of the sort that he talked 'bout too. Whether the real deal or not, she never felt like she needed no body before all this and well... even if she cut ties with Atton, it weren't like she was actually alone.

She glanced over at Vittore and let a small smile come all natural like. Nope, not alone at all.

But then Vitt started sayin' the sort of thing that Inyos kinda did... Family weren't somethin' she was used to but she got the general idea that you were supposed to have some sort of unconditional junk for 'em. Especially if they fraked up but meant well; hells sometimes even if they didn't mean well. Atton was the only one she had aside from a mum who just flat out didn't want her. Her uncle did, though. At least in some sort of way he hadn't wanted t' ditch her. True he hadn't gone and exactly adopted her or nothin' - apparently due to some stubborn ass promises - but he'd done what he could.

"Yeah, told him we'd talk. Told him it'd be on my terms too. I ain't really sussed out what all I'm gonna lay down but... yeah, y're right. Boundaries 'n such." She sighed and spun the bottle slowly against her thigh as the rest of her weight kinda slumped against Vittore. "Right now, though? Right now I ain't givin' a crap for family. Well not real family, I s'ppose."

Sadie glanced up from where her head had come to rest on Vitt's shoulder, lettin' a small smile tug at her lips again. "Least not the blood related sort. 'M perfectly happy with everyone here on th' Tide. Kate, Sleaze, Bumble, an' you. Yup. All th' family-sort I need right there."

[Vittore Montegue]

Vittore smiled back, but there was a hint of bittersweet in the expression. The droids on the Crimson Tide were the closest thing that Vittore had to a family, plus Sadie of course; but it seemed so sad, so inadequate when Sadie described that as the extent of it. In Vittore's experience, family had a singular ability to cause pain and earn ire; to betray and disappoint you in the most heartfelt of ways; but they were still family, you know? No matter how many lies or disappointed sighs came out of his father's mouth, he'd still be dad. No matter how far Cambrio ran, or how squarely he turned his back, he'd still be Vittore's brother. Vittore hated them, hurt for them; but at the slightest drop of a hat he'd be there, gun in hand to answer their cries for help without the slightest hesitation. From the outside it looked like blind loyalty, some brainwashed adherence to people who didn't deserve it; but Vittore felt it in his bones, felt it like a need, a biological imperative. It wasn't about what was deserved, what was earned, what made logical sense: your heart just reached out, grabbed a hold of the people it decided were family; and that was that. No stopping it. No changing it.

"There's a whole lot that's perfect about you," Vittore replied gently, "But perfectly happy ain't one of 'em. Sure, maybe you feel like you ain't had a family before; but that's because the galaxy is dumb, and it always uses that word wrong. Family don't end with blood. It ain't just your uncle, or the parents that left you, or -"

He frowned, fumbling for the words.

"Family ain't just the people y' feel comfortable with. Sometimes, family is the people y' feel uncomfortable with, an' sometimes that's the point. It ain't a measure of blood, or genes, or law - it's a measure a' carin'. Family's the people who needle their way into y' heart, into y' soul, an' they wiggle an' jiggle in there, makin' you feel what they've done, more than y' feel it with anyone else. They're the people with the power t' warm y' heart, but also the ones who can freeze it or burn it with a thoughtless act - and that matters. That's important. If y' don't have people that do that, if y' don't have people that make y' feel that way?"

Vittore shook his head, shoulders slumping under the weight of the sentiments he was dredging up within himself.

"Your Uncle Atton is family. Y' share blood, so he gets in for free; an' y' deserve answers, an' explanations, an' better treatment than y' get from him right now. But that ain't the limit of it. Neither's this ship. Your Jedi guy, Inyos or whatever. He's havin' a pretty big impact on your life, right? Gone and made an important space for himself in your heart, an' in your life. Amaros too; he ain't just some guy y' know, it's more than that. An' this -" He fumbled for the name. "- Vhiran guy. Sounds to me like he used to matter. Sounds t' me like he used to matter once. Maybe he can again, if y' choose to let him be."

He shrugged.

"Some family y' can't help but have 'cause of blood. Some family y' heart goes an' chooses without askin'. The rest? That's up to you. An' even when it feels like enough, it ain't. Family ain't somethin' y' can ever have too much of. Someone like you, with a heart as big as yours? Y' deserve t' have as many damn people that matter around you as y' can possibly find."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

"Might make for an interestin' change," Sadie joked back, but her heart weren't really in it.

Vitt had a good point, she guessed. Sadie had always figured of family as some sort of text book thing that most people would go an' spout off. But when you really thought 'bout it, there was more to it. Maybe Vitt had somethin', maybe she was already buildin' up a family and damn if it didn't have some characters in it. That was okay, she supposed. Was kinda nice havin' folks around that didn't just want you for your skills.

He had a point 'bout Vhiran too, she may not have thought of him as anythin' close like that at the time but he probably fit the description anyhow. Now he was part of the bosslady's little troupe, which meant he'd be stickin' around most likely. Despite her tellin' him that they were good, there were probably some real bridges that needed to go and be fixed or crossed and whatnot. Family was supposed to have drama, she heard told once or twice, but the needless sort just weren't gonna do.

"Thanks," she said with far more certainty than the first quip. Was followed up with a quick kiss planted against his cheek before she settled back against Vitt's side. "For puttin' things in perspective. Still hard to think that I mean anythin' t' anyone, I guess. Reminders are good things."

[Vittore Montegue]

The words lingered in his chest, snagging against the hooks and barbs of his thorny soul like the errant snare of misplaced velcro. They weren't supposed to; there wasn't any deep meaning to it, beyond the kind of natural insecurities that almost anyone had - and yet something about them, that implication that meaning nothing was the reality that she found easiest to accept, filled him with a chilling, twisting discomfort.

But as much as he wanted to grab Sadie by the shoulders, to glare into her eyes and turn his throat hoarse after hour upon hour of insistent tirades about how much value she had, how much she was worth in his heart's eyes; he couldn't. Maybe he was just choosing his battles, stockpiling an arsenal of heartfelt compliments and meaning-laden words for a devastating assault that not even Sadie could protest. Maybe he just knew that today wasn't the day; maybe he knew that Sadie was too tired, or too adrift for anything he said to truly sink in. Maybe it was the way she leaned against him, and the feeling of bliss that radiated from that single point of contact throughout the entirety of him. Or maybe it was fear: the kind that always held him back; that any confessions he offered, any bearing of his soul, might present a reality so ugly that Sadie wouldn't be able to do anything but flee. It wouldn't have been the first time that Vittore's affection had driven a woman to the hills; and with all that had transpired with that affection since, it wasn't a path he had the strength to walk again.

"You mean a whole hell of a lot to me," he said quietly, the words almost sneaking out, Vittore's head leaning against Sadie's, stealing a shred more contact and comfort. "Ain't exactly plannin' on lettin' you forget that any time soon."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

A whole hell of a lot. Sadie couldn't help but sneak out one of them cut off - ugh, there was no better way to say it - giggles at that. Not on account of disbelief or thinkin' Vitt was insincere or nothin' mean of that nature; rather just the phrasin' of the thing. They both knew how they other felt, had said as much and let feelin's be expressed and all that. It weren't no sort of secret or nothin', not now anyhow, but neither one of 'em had exactly gone and said the L-word that folks went and made such a big ol' deal about, neither. They didn't exactly need to, though, it just weren't their way. So instead there were things like you mean a whole hell of a lot to me instead. It worked.

Sadie went and shifted how she was sittin' so her arms could work their way around Vitt's waist; kinda one of them silent ditto sort of jobs. She thought 'bout sayin' somethin' to add to the sentiment but nothin' good came to mind so she let the silence linger and instead tightened her hold on him for just a bit before settlin' back into place.

Yeah, maybe Vitt was right on the whole family thing. Tomorrow she'd have to go and fix some stuff up, but for right now this was all she was gonna do. Well... maybe get another beer.

***

The next day - when Sadie had realized she'd have to ask the bosslady 'bout where to find Vhiran, she was expectin' some sort of unseemly reply. My place was about the most tame that came to mind that Em could say and probably the top contender. The clinic that she was all too unkindly familiar with hadn't even come on the radar in Sadie's head so when that was the locale that the bosslady directed her to, Sadie weren't sure how to feel. Not goin' there seemed reasonable enough - bad memories and all. Though she kinda wanted to make things right with 'Ran too. Damn verse and it's pain in the arse decisions.

In the end the right thing won out, which she was rather proud of, succumbin' to fear to avoid seein' an ol' friend weren't somethin' Sadie wanted on her mental resume. Still, decisions made didn't exactly go an' make the deed easier and Sadie lost count how many times she stopped walkin' towards the clinic and considered 'bout a million and one better places she could be goin'. After all, Vhiran would get out eventually and then she could have a talk. Right? But nah, visitin' folks when they were sick was the sort of normal dren that she was tryin' to get used to goin' about doin'.

So she showed up and was directed to the room, tryin' to keep the chills and mental shakes at bay. Besides, this were the place that had helped her - far from the scene of the crime sort of deal. Still, Sadie weren't quite prepared for the sight of Vhiran in the bed lookin' like the machines monitorin' him were more keepin' him alive. She hadn't gotten too into it with the bosslady on exactly why 'Ran was in the joint or why he had to stay overnight or what sort of procedure they were doin' on him. Privacy was in short supply in business like all of theirs, best let the family sort keep it when they could.

"Hey," - Not the best greetin' but it'd do - Sadie leaned against th' doorway, lingerin' half between comin' and goin'. "Sorry don't have a balloon or flowers or none o' that Get Well Soon stuff. Thinkin' th' staff wouldn't exactly go an' appreciate me totin' in a bottle of rotgut for ya, either so... yup, jus' me. Sayin... hi. Came t' see how y' were doin'..."

Sadie looked downright uncomfortable, she knew it. Funny enough though weren't totally on account of where she was so much as why now. Came all this way and now she hadn't the foggiest sort of idea of what to say.

[Vhiran Antilles]

Vhiran wished it had been a surprise; wished he hadn't felt her coming. Without the numbing effects of his deathsticks to dull the constant roar of the Force in his head however, he wasn't so lucky. He'd felt every step that Sadie had taken, her familiar aura standing out amid the cacophony. He'd felt her conflict, and her discomfort at being here; felt all the other emotions bubbling up beneath the surface. He didn't know why, of course, the bloody rumble of emotion rattling around in his brain wasn't nearly so specific; but it didn't take more than a couple of simple assumptions to fill in the blanks. He'd heard enough about what had happened to her to figure out why hospitals might not exactly be a place she wanted to be; could figure enough about how upside down her life had been turned to guess why seeing him might not exactly be a sunshine and roses prospect.

What hit him worst though was the ripple of emotions as she first caught sight of him. Proper worry, that was. Bloody hell. Do I really look that bad?

A smarter man might have taken that as a sign that maybe this path he'd been stumbling his life down didn't lead to that great a destination. A wise man though, like Vhiran was, knew not to dwell on that sort of stuff. Dwell on your mistakes enough to learn from them, sure, but then leave them be. No point anguishing over things you can't change. No use wasting time and effort on contemplation. After all, get a few beers in you and a lonely enough night, and they'll come rattling around in your head without you even needing to try.

"Ello, Sid," Vhiran offered, lifting the breathing mask aside, and pumping as much of his usual self into his voice as he could muster. It still came out a little raspy, but the swagger was there - and that was all that mattered.

He frowned a little as he contemplated her standing there, leaning all casual-like. If the Force was going to keep yelling at him, he might as well listen; but there was more to the story that Sadie was seeping out than he'd expected. She seemed brighter, somehow. Louder. Not in a happy way, neither - Vhiran had known her back in the footloose and fancy free days of youth, so he was no stranger to Big Sid in a good mood; and if anything, all the extra weight dragging on her soul made her seem more mellow and subdued. It was something else, though. Something inside. Kinda like peeking at a flower box in early spring. Wasn't anything growing or blooming just yet, but those tiny little seedlings, those little sprouts of green that started poking up through the earth? That was Sadie. A tiny whisper of Force growing inside her, more than he had ever noticed or felt before. He wondered how secret it was; wondered if she even knew; kicked himself for not knowing it was there back in the old days. Sure, wasn't all that much from his few years as a Youngling that'd have been much use, but it would have been better than nothing - and he knew from painful experience that the hardest part of all this Force bollocks was trying to figure it out all alone.

A knot of guilt twisted in his gut, his shame over having abandoned her redoubled. Bollocks. Wasn't meant to be thinking about that.

"I'll be fine, love," he lied; or maybe it wasn't. Maybe the only lies here were his to himself; his resignation and acceptance to die when apparently there were poor misguided people out here in the universe who'd maybe prefer he didn't. Maybe he would be fine. Maybe he just needed to trust in someone else for a change, and let that endgame actually play out.

So if he really was going to be fine, what then? What words could he utter to deflect attention away from how badly he'd broken himself? How did he navigate the mindfield he'd turned his life into, and find his way back to Ran and Sid without everything blowing up around him.

"It in't his fault."

The worlds tumbled out of him before he knew what he was saying.

"You're uncle, I mean. He's an arsehole for sure for presentin' me with a choice like that, but the choice I made was mine, an' the way I did it? That's all on me. Should a' told you. Should a' been honest about everythin'. Should a' been one of the guys in your life who didn't let you down, instead a' just bein' yet another one who left you t' the wolves."