Suicide is Painless

[Saa'riaana Dage]

She was on leave. Or at least what passed for leave. Really, it was a glorified two days away from the day-to-day tasks and duties that came with a Republic surgeon's life. Everything had become mundane and same. Still though, it was a decently secure posting that allowed her a nice enough safety net. She was a respected enough doctor, and it wasn't all bad, she supposed. But still, there was something else pulling at her, and it was what brought her here now, to Jovan Station.

The ages-old Nebulon-B cruiser Cassarie had docked at spire 5, and Saa'ri had spent the last hour thumbing through old holos and comms. And when she did finally leave, she joined her last remaining straggling crewmates through the airlock umbilical and on to the spire's entry area. A few minutes of customs checking her pepers, and she was waved through without fuss.

She'd timed her few days off with the clockwork predictability of her parents and their peculiar affinity to Jovan. Every year for a few days they visited Jovan, and each time they seemed just a little bit happier upon their return. Though, that was what she could guess from the infrequent comms from each one once they'd gotten back to their own respective wherevers. It had always seemed like some silly game to her the older she got and the more she'd come to understand, but it was what it was, and she'd long ago given up trying to understand either of them. Of course, as the years went by they gravitated closer, until finally living under one roof, but it never changed their yearly visits to Jovan.

Which was what brought her here now.

The lift took her swiftly in toward the center of the station before finally coming to a slow stop. The doors opened, and Saa'riaana stepped out onto the main merchant's promenade.

She seen plenty of holos of how the station used to look, and while it was certainly different nowdays, in some ways it'd never changed. There were still bright vendor signs and hawkers trying to foist their wares on passerby.

But the real challenge for the moment lay in attempting to find her parents in this mess of flesh wrapped up in durasteel girders and bulkheads.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

It wasn't difficult to see when Admiral Meorrrei made an appearance at Jovan station. Dwarfing the old frigate Cassarie on Spire Five, the Keppaa-class destroyer Hai'raathee drew in all the eyes from his perch on Spire Two. Adorned in the white and red liveries of the New Republic, the Hai'raathee had come to represent a symbol of the strengthening union of the nascent Republic's return to rule. His keel had been laid at the Royal Cana'daari yards seven years ago, and he was the third of the Pride's newest line of capital starships. In the tradition of the Cizerack navy, he was a galleon - a ship equally suited to times of peace and war, with vast cargo reserves and enough gun emplacements to chill the spine on any opportunistic pirate. The hull's shape had been strongly influenced by the rehabilitated former Imperials who had been brought back into the galactic fold after the treaty of unification, and Hai'raathee's dagger shape was a sign of their influence. With two Gorroka-III batteries and another pair of Saanja torpedo tubes, however, it was clear that Hai'raathee spoke with a Cizeri accent. He was a halfbreed, full of thousands of Cizerack and forrda alike. In many ways, he was a symbol of the peculiar union, and the erosion of long-held biases within the Cizerack Pride. T'yeellaa wondered how much of that tectonic change had come at her mother's influence, or if she was merely the most prominent advocate of such change.

Her Mother.

Admiral Meorrrei paused on the concourse at the window which afforded her the best view of her ship. How long had it been since they'd spoken? A year? Two? Whatever change the former Chancellor Meorrrei had brought about in the Republic, she'd exacted a high price for it. Maybe Taataani could see the changes happening in the Republic she presided over, but she never saw the changes in herself. T'yeellaa couldn't remember when they'd last spoke, but she certainly remembered when it had all fallen apart. Mother offered her the very thing she'd been planning to give her for years, the title of Rrou'fai.

T'yeellaa refused.

Maybe that's when the fall began to happen. Maybe her mother had been so deeply wounded by no, that she was determined to never have the word wound her again.

Something had changed years ago. Changed right here, on Jovan station. T'yeellaa had spent so long fighting on a headstrong path to merely defy Taataani; to force her to respect her eldest daughter. But here? She found something she wanted beyond defiance and recognition. She found her own life. Her own slice of the galaxy and her own path that she could walk. Not one that was imposed upon her or that existed as a reaction or a rebellion. But one that she looked at with both eyes open and wanted.

"Admiral Meorrrei?"

T'yeellaa's ears twitched, and she turned from the viewport to see an Iridonian man with commander pips.

"Commanderr Kolaji, jI prressume?"

Kolai's horned head gave a curt nod.

"Yes ma'am. Commander of Jovan Station. I only recently got word that your ship was arriving. Is this an inspection?"

"What? Oh. No." T'yeellaa shook her head and smiled. "Ssomethjing of an old trradjitjion."

There wasn't a dawning recollection in Kolai's expression, so he must not be aware.

"jI hearrd Commanderr Sai'eethraa wass rreasssjigned."

"Two weeks ago, ma'am. The Trade Navy wanted her on a destroyer, and she accepted the post."

Kolai had a look of barely-tamped frustration on his face, and his posture was a little restless. T'yeellaa gave him a glance up and down, and her smile grew into a chuckle. The Iridonian raised an eyebrow.

"That's funny, ma'am?"

Admiral Meorrrei's widened smile mellowed a bit.

"jIt'ss not that. jI jusst rrecognjize the look."

"The look?"

T'yeellaa nodded with certainty.

"The look of a Commanderr who jusst rrecentljy had Jovan Sstatjion fall jinto hjiss lap, and jiss wonderrjing exactljy what the hell to do wjith the zoo."

She had him exact, and Kolai's expression gave that away. Maybe her mother's empathy was genetic after all.

"Is it that obvious?"

"jI've sseen the look, Commanderr. Ssometjimess jin mjy own mjirrrorr."

"You served on Jovan, Admiral?"

"Oh jyess."

At this, the Admiral gave a look around her surroundings with a wistful gleam to her eye.

"A long tjime ago. jIt'ss sstjill sso wonderrfulljy ugljy, but ljike everrjy ugljy man, jit hass a grreat perrssonaljitjy."

Since the previous Commander hadn't managed to brief her replacement, T'yeellaa didn't let the mystery linger.

"jI come back forr a few dajyss each jyearr, sso jit'ss not an offjicjial vjissjit. Mjy crrew have been gjiven a weekend ljiberrtjy. jI trrusst thejy won't be a burrden on jyou orr jyourr sstaff. jIf thejy arre, jI want to hearr of jit."

Kolai nodded, still finding the notion of an Admiral using a strategically-unimportant space station as a holiday spot to be high-order strange.

"I'll inform my command of your visit. Is there anything further I can do to accomodate you?"

"jI'd ljike quarrterrss on the sstatjion forr mjy sstajy."

"I'll make the arrangements. Anything else, Admiral?"

T'yeellaa's ears raised.

"jI rrememberr an old tea housse frrom jyearrss ago. Neverr botherred to check to ssee jif jit'ss sstjill arround. jYou wouldn't know anjythjing about that, would jyou?"

The clueless look on the Commander's face telegraphed it all.

"Can't say that I do, ma'am. I'm more of a caf drinker."

T'yeellaa again wore a knowing smile as she moved to walk past the Commander, clasping a hand lightly on his shoulder before letting it fall away.

"Blesss jyourr hearrt. jYou've got a lot of catchjing up to do. jI won't keep jyou anjy longerr."

[Samus Dage]

He'd come in on a civilian transport. Some years he traveled to Jovan in this fashion, and others he opted for the more military approach. Either way he ended up at his destination, and though sometimes it was preferred to not bother with the added discomfort of sharing your ride with a multitude of others, there were times that he decided it would be bearable.

They never were.

And he never seemed to learn.

Quentin Saums Dage, in his 70's, had only become a far grumpier, far more stubborn version of his younger self. The years had added a spiderweb of age-lines that somehow gave him a stately appearance (despite being accused of being the exact opposite of on more than one occasion), and his gait was - at times - less than solid-footed, but he never faltered, and his eyes always remained sharp. Decades of service had ingrained a durasteel core within him, and he was thankful for it. Of course, those same decades had taken the blonde from his hair and replaced it with a solid grey... something that he was distinctly not thankful for.

Passing through customs was easy enough, as the civilians seemed as eager to leave their transport as he, and therefor they cooperated with security in quick fashion.

He'd caught sight of the Hai'raathee on their approach to Spire Four. Really though, it was hard not to notice the behemoth.

And just as it'd taken little time to pass through the boarding checkpoints, getting into the bowels of the station was just as quick an affair.

It was true, what they said; time moved faster the older you got.



The observation deck had become an admittedly beautiful place, having been transformed from a simple, spartan area with a few chairs and table set up to watch the traffic, into a vibrant lounge area with lounge seats upholstered in bright reds and golds. It was no real surprise, and as he slowly descended the shallow stairway that would bring him properly into the lavish 'room', his eyes traveled to the far viewing window. And while the ship beyond the transparisteel panes was monstrous, dwarfing all others around it, it was the woman who was now striding away from the station's commander that held his complete interest.

Samus couldn't help the smirk that pulled up one corner of his mouth, and his hands moved to bury themselves in his front pockets as she came closer.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

She caught sight of him only a few paces past Commander Kolai, and her smile returned in force. She saw the grey on his head and the lines on his face, but his geography was perfectly comfortable to her. She knew it wasn't true, but in her mind's eye he'd always looked this way. She saw the young Samus there in his eyes as he looked back, and when she was alone in her quarters, she could browse through the volumes of old holos at the younger man, and see the old soul she'd grown to love.

They'd never traded names, rings, or ka'arri, or anything else for the matter that people tended to formalize their union, but that was simply the curious nature of their love. They'd spent decades as two awkward dancers - two pairs of feet and two minds unsure which one was leading with the music. If that wasn't enough of a challenge, they'd somehow managed all the strangeness by having a daughter.

As T'yeellaa gave her lover the unguarded smile he always managed to coax from her stony expression, she had to wonder at how far her life had gone from her expectations. Daughter to a Baroness, heir to more privilege and wealth than most galactic pashas would ever see. She'd turned her back on it all - and Quentin Samus Dage had a healthy hand in it. She'd likely outlive him, but she'd never forget him.

"Hello Quentjin."

[Samus Dage]

"Look at you, Kitten," he rumbled softly as she closed the distance between them with a steady pace. What they'd become to each other over the many years had come as just as much of a surprise to him as he suspected it was to her. But, it was a surprise that he found he rather enjoyed. And while their paths had sometimes taken them apart, they had always found a way to come back.

She stopped in front of him, and one of his hands pulled out of its' pocket to reach out and give one of the duty pins on her collar a small tap.

"All proper and military-like," His smirk overtook him, then, as he couldn't help himself.

"... and not a day over 53."

Without allowing her to answer, he went on even as his eyes moved up from her own intoxicating blues and past her shoulder to stare at her ship.

"A fine lady like you, showing up in a big ship like that," he continued to tease as his hand moved from her pips to trace over her jawline, fingers coming to rest behind her neck. Another moment passed before he cast his gaze back to her.

"You meeting someone important, then?"

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"jI hearr that pulljing rrank and puttjing on a unjiforrm tendss to drrjive men wjild."

The Admiral's eyes glittered with delight as she looked her tall drink of water up and down.

"Orr at leasst makess ssurre thejy'rre punctual. Bessjidess, onljy one of uss wearrss plajinclothess well."

His diversion toward Hai'raathee didn't go unnoticed, and T'yeellaa casually glanced back at the ship before returning to Dage's embrace.

"Oh, don't be jealouss, gai'tou. No Cizerack woman can be content wjith onljy one man jin herr ljife."

At that, she planted a kiss on his lips.

"But jyou've alwajyss made the arrgument convjincjing."

[Samus Dage]

He couldn't help his smile as she bestowed upon him a kiss.

"Well that's good for me then," an arm draped over her shoulder as he pivoted, and pulling her in close Samus led the way from the viewing lounge. Up the shallow stairs they moved, until the milling crowds around them became like the crashing sea of old. Like times past they were wading through bodies. And yet, it was an easy thing as everyone was like a single fluid entity. No one really jostled anyone else, and most seemed intent on their own destinations being reached without incident. To that end, everyone seemed accommodating enough. It was a welcome observation.

With his arm still keeping her close, Dage sent a quick sidelong look her way.

"You heard from the little sprog recently? Last I knew she was getting posted to Dac for some cushy doctor's job."

Just the thought of his little girl made his back just a little bit straighter, and his step a bit more energetic.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

Saa'riaana had become the new star, pulling both of her parents into comfortable orbit. She was, like everything else, not a part of T'yeellaa's plan. But that was the charming thing about fate and chaos. All the detours and strangeness now felt exactly how they ought to be. She remembered the morning she discovered she was pregnant as if a light switch turned on. She hadn't planned to have a child with Samus, but everything had changed for the better when she did.

And much like the half-breed ship she had departed, Saa'riaana had become a beautiful blend of worlds. She'd taken the Admiral's sense of ethics and duty happily in hand with Samus's devil-may-care ease. When Saa had joined the Royal Academy, T'yeellaa imagined her daughter would follow in her footsteps and command a starship. Only years later did she learn the lesson she'd once taught Taataani. Sometimes the best-laid plans are meant for breaking.

"Sshe'ss thrrjilled. Sshe passsed the ssurrgeon'ss exam, whjich jI thjink sshe wanted morre than generral medjicjine. Sshe holo'd a few dajyss ago to talk about a prrocedurre..."

The Admiral's eyes glazed over a bit as she swam out of her comfort zone.

"...ssomethjing about rremovjing ssomethjing frrom a Wookjiee. jI couldn't keep up wjith half the thjingss sshe wass ssajyjing, but jyou can see that look jin herr ejyess."

T'yeellaa didn't have to elaborate. They'd always shared a singular passion for their work, and that was once again part of the charm and frustration of their life. When you found yourself doing the one thing you were meant to do, everyone around you could tell.

[Samus Dage]

He gave a chuckle.

"Sounds like she's having a time of it, then."

The two continued on, neither speaking, but rather enjoying the closeness for the time being. The joys of hello were invariably always followed by goodbye, and it was that looming assurance that sometimes dulled his happiness. Of course, each had their own careers, and while he knew that his own was winding down with retirement looming close on the horizon, hers was much farther off. She had a lot longer road than he, and there were times, when he was alone in his office on Bothawui, that that fact hit particularly hard. It was during those times that he nursed a glass of Coruscant brandy, locking himself away to mull in the memories of his life.

But here, now, Samus Dage was intent on capitalizing his time with the only woman that'd ever truly taken his heart. And truth be told, she'd still not given it back. Which he didn't mind at all.

Guiding her along, he gestured at a modest restaurant sign that read Quarren Cuisine.

"It's no Diktat's Roost, but I think it'll do," a grin, and he leaned over to gently deposit a kiss to her temple. "Plus there should be things on the menu for both of us."

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

Admiral Meorrrei hid her crestfallen expression with a turn of her head. Diktat's Roost had finally closed after all these years. It was never wildly popular even back on her service days, but she'd grudgingly longed for that hole in the wall with it's strange food and strange people. Half the menu she hated, but the other half had really grown on her. In it's place was a restaurant with a decidedly...boring name. T'yeellaa stared blankly at the plain black and white sign, her lips pressed thin in skepticism.

"Well, jI would have neverr ssurrvjived wjith jyou jif jI djidn't trrjy everrjythjing at leasst once."

At least it smelled appetizing inside. Although, that could be the Quarrens she smelled. No bigotry intended, but it was difficult to cohabitate with aquatic sentients at times.

[Samus Dage]

"That's the spirit."

His arm slid from her shoulders so that his hand could take hers, and he led her inside. It was a simple interior, with plain tables and chairs, and a warm grey paintjob on the walls. There was a pair of Quarren at the bar toward the back, and a demure Bothan woman idly sitting at a far booth wrapping silverware in crisp white napkins. She rose up at the sight of the two new customers, and grabbing up a pair of menus from a nearby counter.

"Two?"

Dage nodded, and the pair followed their guide to a booth set in one of the front windows. Waiting as T'yeellaa sat first, Samus gave a nod in thanks as he himself slowly lowered to sit and their menus were placed on the table.

"Two waters, please."

The Bothan nodded, and backed away.

Picking up one of the flimsis, Dage gave their choices a once-over for a moment. He frowned, held it out a short ways, then gave a defeated sigh before pulling a slim, black case from the breast pocket of his shirt. Opening it, he plucked out a pair of reading glasses.

A look from over the tops of his eyes as he put them on was sent across the table to his significant other, and a wry grin managed to peak past the crusty exterior.

"Some of us don't age as gracefully as you, my Dear."

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"jIf geness arre anjythjing to go bjy, jI'll be followjing ssujit jin a decade. Lasst tjime jI deljiverred a rreporrt to motherr, sshe looked ljike a sspecjiess of owl."

The Admiral bided the time by perusing her own menu, but her heart wasn't in it. There was a raw seafood section, and she'd probably pick whatever wasn't too expensive off that. But the real reason she was here was sitting across from her.

"Ssamuss..."

T'yeellaa folded up her menu for a moment, laying her hands over the cover.

"...what arre we dojing?"

[Samus Dage]

He didn't exactly look up from his own menu, instead letting his eyes pass over the more... well-done portions of what was offered. His voice in answer was somewhat distant, his thoughts working on two fronts. However it was obvious that his stomach was winning the fight with his brain.

"We're ordering lunch, Kitten."

[Saa'riaana Dage]

A bit of time was spent perusing the merchants and their wares, but Saa'ri was honestly preoccupied with the task of trying to find two very specific people in an ocean of bodies. It wasn't an easy task.

One ear flicked in mild frustration. She knew her mother was here; the imposing hulk of Hai'raathee testament enough to that fact. And odds were good that her father was somewhere about as well. It was just a matter of actually finding them that was proving to be a shade of nearly-impossible.

Biting her lip, the halfbreed continued on, a scowl beginning to form on her features as she kept coming up empty-handed. She supposed it was entirely possible that the two had already made their way to some station quarters (ugh), but she was betting on the fact that her father's stomach would win out the day. Or at least the afternoon.

And then... luck struck her like a bolt of lightning as she happened to turn her head.

The couple sitting in the window booth at the front of a Quarren joint was unmistakable.

A triumphant grin, and Saa'ri moved closer. They hadn't noticed her, and making an impatient face, she leaned forward to rap a claw on the glass.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

An involuntary flinch and a flutter of her ears, T'yeellaa's attention immediately turned to the sudden rap at the glass facing the concourse...

...and to the very familiar face causing it. The Admiral's eyes widened and her open smile betrayed her happiness.

"Saa'ri!"

A stolen glance to Samus confirmed he was equally surprised by the little ambush. Now they were all frozen in this awkward moment, to which T'yeella made a hurriedly beckoning gesture.

"Come jin!"

[Samus Dage]

Just as taken by surprise as T'yeellaa, Samus only stared, giving a blink as their daughter was waved inside. It didn't take much time at all for Saa'ri to sweep in through the door, her uniform an olive drab and much less showy than her mother's.

His menu was set on the table as Dage lumbered up to his feet, and wasting little time he wrapped her up in a strong embrace.

[Saa'riaana Dage]

Swallowed up in her father's arms, Saa'ri beamed wide as she pulled away, and taking her mother's hand, pulled her in close for a swift hug, and ever mindful she delivered a gentle peck to each of the older woman's cheeks.

"Hello, Motherr."

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"Goddesss, what arre jyou dojing jin thjiss corrnerr of the galaxjy??"

Tail buoyed in elation at a chance to see her daughter in the flesh and away from clinicals and exams, T'yeellaa separated a moment, holding Saa'riaana at arms' length by the shoulders to get a full look at her. She favored Samus on height, with a few inches on the shorter Admiral. Though her uniform was the more drab sort favored by the Republic Federal Army, she looked fantastic in it. Her rank insignia displayed as a Major, though those were less prominent than the badge with a staff held within a pair of coiled serpents.

"Do jI call jyou...Doctorr? Majorr?"

[Saa'riaana Dage]

"How about just Saa'ri forr now?"

A knowing smile, and she took a seat beside her mother as the three sat down.

"And well, I had some time off, so I figured I'd come to the one place I knew the both of you would be at this time of the year."

[Samus Dage]

A rueful smirk, and Samus once more picked up his menu. He offered a wink, then went back to his perusing.

"I think she's on to us, T'yeellaa," came the good-natured rumble.