The first duel

[Anbira Hicchoru]

The corners of Anbira's eyes tightened as he smiled, extending a hand to his sparring partner.

"And perhaps you will be stronger."

[Abarai Loki]

Reluctantly, he took Anbira's hand and allowed him to do the shaking.

"That is but a matter of time," he said, and broke the handshake, "And if you seek to match my speed, first concern yourself with shaking loose the burden of guilt. It is dead weight."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Anbira delved into a bit of introspection at Loki's words. Is that what he'd felt? Guilt? Perhaps it had been so all-permeating that Anbira had simply not assigned a name to it.

He gave a reluctant nod.

"It's not an easy thing, fighting and killing men you once felt were like your brothers. I think a part of me hoped there would be redemption for them, like there was for me."

He struggled for the words, realizing this was probably the first time he'd actually discussed the dilemmas of his Felucian past.

"Why was I saved, and not them? It's a difficult question for me to ask, and all I can hear is the echo of me asking it. There's guilt, I suppose you'd be correct in that. Perhaps there's no further wisdom for me to find in dwelling on it."

[Abarai Loki]

"No, there is absolutely no worth in harboring such needless regret."

In truth, Loki hadn't expected such an outpour from the hardened ex-serviceman. It had been his intention to plant the seed, just a thought, drawing on the wisdom and experience of his old master to help Anbira overcome his burden. Instead, he was forthcoming about his experience on Felucia and the unseen mark it had left on him - what Loki had done to warrant such a display of trust was a mystery to him. Nevertheless, he would humour the conversation.

"Questioning the past will not provide answers for the future, Anbira Hicchoru, my master told me that. He said a warrior must be of sound mind to weather the days of war and that he must find clarity in his violence. A warrior's resolve must be sharper than any blade if it is to pierce the shroud of doubt."

"In short, you are attached to your old comrades. Don't be. You are a Jedi and cannot afford such a weakness."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

It was a stern bit of advice that Anbira knew he needed, but he had yet to find the proper application for it.

"I suppose first and foremost on my tasks is to find a way to let them go, then."

He gave a slightly wistful expression to Loki.

"I am yet unsure if I'm the worse for needing your sage advice, or you're the worse for giving it. I expect there's some tragedy in hearing someone as young as yourself to eschew those thoughts. That's a cruelty of this war I suppose I have only now taken into consideration.

Until again, Loki."

And with that, he turned to leave the sparring area. He had much to think about.