Thread Evaluation: Beginnings

[Rossos Atrapes]

What does everyone think of it? It's not a complete history of Rossos's life, but as the title suggests, what transpires are the major beginning (or endings, if you see them that way, though I have shorter posts as "endings" of each "beginning") spots of Rossos's life up till the present moment, as well as some extra pieces planned around the surrounding characters in this.

Whatchall think o' it? Does the thread fulfill the goal of elaborating on Rossos's past while still leaving a lot to be filled in? Are there inconsistencies, or is the narrative stilted in places? Most importantly, is it enjoyable?

[The Message]

It was interesting. I found the constant hopping of perspectives to be a little jarring. I would just start to get the perspective of one character and their setting when suddenly you jumped to a different location or switched perspectives which left me lost trying to find out: Was I still in the same time? Oh its just across the street? Same location though? Who are these people? Why are they important to the story? Were they related? Who is this guy?

Not a big issue really but I would have liked to read more from Rossos or his immediate families perspective to find out more about him. Especially Istina since she plays an integral part of his past. But I know next to nothing about her?

I liked the way he dealt with hunting down the force user and dealing with it. Very insidious. I also like the inclusion of the soundtrack at the start of the last chapter. Were you listening to that while writing or was it just a song you felt fit the piece? I have often toyed with the idea to include the music I was listening to at the time of writing the piece. But left it out fearing I may rely on it to add mood when I should be trying to add the mood by writing it . You pulled it off though.

The ending was sort of abrupt for me. Rosses seemed like a pretty happy person, then BAM instant darkside? I would have liked to read more involving his relationship with Istina. Because all I saw was one brief chapter introducing them as cousins and then he was visciously attacking her.

It gave me mixed feelings. On the one hand he seemed to be defending his crew and what may be considered his family as a whole. On the other hand, I got the implication that she was a blood relative and had been protecting him since he was a boy.

Seems if something that tragic happened I would have tried to find answers as to why it happened. Instead of just trying to kill the person that raised me. That's just me though .

Overall good story concepts. I just would have liked to read more on the central characters, their personal thoughts, views, and the relationships between.

[Rossos Atrapes]

Thanks for your comments; I was in truth a bit blocked with this one, but reading your post got the inspirational juices running again, especially on the note of character interaction and history. The way I had it written before was giving me trouble, so I added more dialogue and scenes, and added a new confession and voila! Post made! Thanks again.