Being a Cizeri Teenager is Hard and No One Understands

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

Daanarri Meorrrei fled from the tiia'haa'ko meal (https://theholo.net/forum/showthread.php?57870-First-Comes-Marriage-Then-Comes-Love) into Jovan Station's promenade, hoping to lose herself in the crowd. Full of anger and confusion, the fifteen year old Cizeri girl dashed hot tears from her eyes and tried not to run into anyone.

Why did her mother have to be so infuriating!? Daani had been happy enough to accept Taataani's proclamation of her impending marriage to some male she'd never met before. Not happy, exactly, but she accepted it. Having her mother pick a husband was preferable to whoever the Sun Palace would place her with, and Daani was not ignorant of the political implications of the Pride Mother being interested in who Daani married. Taataani had been hard, even cruel during dinner, but somehow Daani had not been surprised by her actions.

Her older sisters, however, long held in high regard by the much younger Daani -- they were a complete disappointment. T'yeellaa, the original family rebel who had thrown away her place in the family business in order to pursue her dream of being in the Navy, had less backbone than a Mon Cal jelly. Rai'faani seemed like a spoiled brat, not a cool, fashionable icon.

Daani found a lookout point, a section of the station set up for star gazing, or watching ships come in, and planted herself in the middle of the rows of benche. She stared blindly out into space while her mind raced.

[Fredal Rabeak]

Payday. Payday after two months of work aboard the Quasar Fantastic, and Freddie knew exactly where his money was going! Two months had been plenty of time to debate, to hem and haw, and plan out a budget, and as soon as he was freed for an overnight stay on Jovan, and received his check, the gray-furred Nehantite made a mad dash for the mecca of every fifteen year old boy with money: the personal electronics store.

His pink eyes went wide at the selection on display, the latest models of everything having apparently come out since the last time he was in port, and he chewed his lower lip as he debated splurging on something fancier than he had planned. It was tempting, so tempting, to be with the trend for once, to be on the cutting edge of personal entertainment tech, and show that he'd made it. And he could afford it, barely. There it was before him, glistening in chrome and his own personal selection of color choices, just waiting for him to pick it, to make it his own. It called to him, begging him to flaunt his newfound wealth.

But in the end, reason won out, and Freddie walked out of the store with a refurbished model of the previous, previous generation of personal comm, on a budget prepaid plan, and a pair of wireless earbuds. Having a personal comm again felt like vindication for having to sell his old one so he could afford food during his first visit to Jovan, and his pink eyes were glued to its screen as he weaved through promenade traffic, connecting to the station's data network, and searching for cool background images and music to download. He'd have to slap an official Quasar Fantastic case on it when he got back to work, if they still had any left in stock. For one, he was proud of his new job, and two, he got a discount on official merch!

His barefoot wandering led him to a lift, and up to a viewing area he'd tried - and failed - to sleep in before, knowing it'd be quiet at least, allowing him to better get to know his new-to-him comm, and get his earbuds synced. An empty bench was selected, not really looking around since he already had the object of his desire in paw, and he followed the instructions on-screen, pressing buttons and watching for flashing lights before pairing. Success! Freddie grinned, eagerly sticking one earbud into his right ear, then going for the left, only to have the right fall out, clearly not designed for his race's ear shape.

"Crap!" he muttered, jamming the left one in deeper as he scanned the floor for the runaway right. It took a few moments, but there it was, by a girl's foot two benches ahead. Climbing over them, he nervously waved hi before starting to bend down. "Heya, sorry, dropped my earbud, just gonna..." It was then that he saw the expression on the girl's face, and his ears wilted in concern. "Are... are you okay?"

He'd done it. He'd just spoken to a girl he guessed to be around his own age. But why? Fear began to pump through his veins as Freddie realized he'd not only started a conversation with a girl, but possibly one about feelings.

Garfife, what had he done?

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

"jI'm fjine," Daani said automatically, startled initially by the boy's sudden appearance. "Jusst... jusst watchjing the sshjipss."

Her obvious lie sat between them, filling the air until Daani felt stifled by its density. She looked away from the Nehantite quickly, before his concern made tears well up in her eyes again.

[Fredal Rabeak]

Freddie hung there, half-stooped, paw outstretched to get his stray earbud, and he looked between it and the girl. Only after it became awkward enough to require action of any sort did he continue to bend down and pick up his new property from the floor.

There were sneakers, and then there were sneakers, and to a lad who had just spent months debating over his big luxury purchase, Freddie could tell immediately that this girl's shoes cost more than his new personal comm. His eyes looked over her as he stood back up, and he hesitated there, unsure if he should say anymore. One, he didn't know her, and two, he could already tell she was way out of his league!

"You don't... sound fine," he said. The words had escaped him, bypassing any common sense or personal shields, and he stood there, baffled as to just how he'd managed to say it. What help did he think he could possibly offer to some rich, trendy, cute... oh Garfife, she was cute, too, girl? He could feel his ears warming with a blush just thinking about it.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

She sighed, turning to face the boy again, her eyes a little wetter than they usually were. "jIt'ss jusst famjiljy drrama." Daani bit her lip and blinked a little to keep the tears back. "Mjy mom and ssjissterr werrre fjightjing and Mama hjit my ssjissterr. jIt was rrealljy bad. jI sstood up forr herr, and then sshe jusst forrgave Mama ljike jit djidn't matterr."

The words came out of her in a gush, and Daani gulped, hiding her face in her hands.

[Fredal Rabeak]

In that moment, Freddie knew he had to do one of two things. Either he could sit and lend his skill as a good listening ear, and try and console this cute rich girl, or he could take a step back, then head off to do things he was actually good at.

How his butt wound up on the bench beside Daani, Freddie had no idea, and his tail twitched in annoyance at not knowing, either.

Fidgeting with the earbud in his fingers, he offered, "I'm... I'm sorry to hear that. Family can be rough."

Garfife, you are so lame! His mind chided himself inside his head. You sound like the most generic sympathy card!

"But... isn't that what families are supposed to do? Forgive each other?" he asked, though he hardly knew the answer to that, himself. He imagined that was the case, from the sitcoms he'd seen on holovision. "I mean, isn't that better than fighting all the time? Means you get... hit... lest often... I think."

He trailed off at the end, now needing to look ahead, himself.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

Daani stared out into the black, mirroring the boy. "Sshe'ss ssuppossed to be thjiss sstrrong leaderr. Mjy ssjissterr. jI wouldn't let Mama hjit me. And Mama ssajid sshe djidn't mean jit but... jI jusst don't know. jIt'ss ljike jI don't rrealljy know them at all."

She sniffed hard, and wiped at her nose with her arm.

"And now jI have to go back to Mama afterr jI ... jI thrreatened herr wjith ssomethjing rrealljy bad jif sshe hjit anjy of uss agajin. jI don't know what sshe'ss gojing to do to me."

[Fredal Rabeak]

"My dad used to hit me," Freddie admitted. "A lot."

And worse. Why he said it, he didn't know. He'd worked so hard to run away from it, to forget it. And there he was, openly admitting it in front of a girl he didn't even know.

"I didn't have anything I could threaten him with, though. At least you've got that?" He found his head turning slowly, offering a pitiful smile of sympathy.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

“Well jif sshe doess jit agajin, sshe’ll rregrret jit,” said Daani firmly. “jI don’t know jif sshe thjinkss jI’d rrealljy do jit. What jI sajid jI’d do.

”But jI wjill.”

Daani flexed her hand, claws extending and retracting.

[Fredal Rabeak]

"She's still family," Freddie warned. "You'll have to live with that, if you do it. Becoming a monster to stop a monster just makes two monsters. Sometimes you just need to know when to get away, and take that opportunity."

A measure of sadness tinged his voice, though it ended with hope, his smile warming to something genuine. "Or, just, put on some good music?" A chuckle shook his shoulders as he extended the right earbud, his left paw holding his personal comm, a song apparently queued up.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

Daani frowned, the thought of becoming like her mother swirling around in her brain until the Nehantite boy offered an earbud. She gave him a half-smile and accepted it.

”jI’m Daani, bjy the wajy,” she said, putting the earbud into her ear.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

Meanwhile...

T'yeellaa could have opted to fully dress in the tiia'haa'ko pit, but that would have left her in the company of Rai'faani and Mother. Honestly, she needed privacy. Not out of any feeling of modesty, or maybe that wasn't true. Maybe it was emotional modesty that she needed. She needed some place where she could put herself together again and smooth over her vulnerability. So, she'd hastily dressed well enough to pass muster while in the pit, then quickly headed out towards the forward section of the restaurant, which was dominated by a bar and a few tables intended for pre-killed casual dining. The restaurant was a disinterested buzz of individual conversations. T'yeellaa's ears perked and strained, fearful for any loose comments that her barely-functional state was disheveled enough to attract attention. Fortunately, that wasn't so. Unnoticed, the K'ohta'rrou disappeared into the establishment's refresher - a place where she could properly dress and do so alone.

T'yeellaa locked the door behind her and turned the sink faucet on. She shouldered off her naval jacket, unfastened the three buttons she'd bothered to clasp on her blouse underneath, and set that on the wall rack as well. She plunged both hands into a stream of hot water, scrubbing away at hands that were largely clean already. She cupped a handful of water, and doused her face once, then twice again. As ribbons of water trailed down her nose, brow, and chin, T'yeellaa studied the face that looked back at her in the mirror. She frowned, and swiped a thumb at the corner of her lower lip to dislodge some stubborn dried blood, only to realize with a little tenderness that the blood was her own.

She shut off the water, reaching for a disposable hand towel to daub the moisture from her face. Still touching the small cut on her lip, T'yeellaa moved her fingertips to a line on her face that she was sure hadn't been there the last time she'd looked in the mirror. At least, that's what she thought. Now? There was a feeling of otherness, like she wasn't completely sure the woman in the reflection was who she was, or if that were true, how she'd changed?

Her hands moved from her face, down and past her chest, and came to rest around her navel. She pivoted, looking at herself from this new angle. There wasn't any outward sign, not this early on. But that wouldn't last long, would it? Her hands wrapped around herself in a kind of cradling sort of way. Was this how she was supposed to feel? Protective? Afraid? Determined, in the face of every reason in the galaxy not to be?

Her eyes returned to her uniform. For someone who was almost disdainful of every other stitch of clothing she wore, T'yeellaa loved it for its constancy. She was taught early as a cadet how to wear it, how to take care of it, and exactly how to accord herself when in it. There was a safeness in that uniformity, a deep sense of comfort somehow set into high starched collars, double-breasted wool, and lace cravat. T'yeellaa lost herself in the ritual, returning her uniform back to her body the way it ought to be done, taking care not to malign the creases, to make sure that each gilded button and badge caught the light without the hint of a smudge dulling its luster. Alone in the refresher, she took longer than she might have otherwise, making certain that the look was perfect. Her hastily-drawn hair from earlier was let down, then drawn back, then back again into a tidy bun set against the nape of her neck.

T'yeellaa's eyes returned to her reflection. There was the K'ohta'rrou, with all of her impressive lines. She was somewhere in there. Maybe she could hide for a while. Maybe. It sounded nice, but she knew it wasn't going to be that way this time. Soon, the lines of her very fine jacket would be pushed out. She wouldn't be able to hide then. Maybe it was time to practice coming out of hiding, before it was too late.

Taking a moment to straighten her epaulets, T'yeella left the refresher. It was time to find Daanarri.

[Fredal Rabeak]

Freddie's heart nearly skipped a beat when she actually took the earbud, and he swallowed to regain his composure. "I'm Freddie," he replied. "It's, uh, nice to meet you."

For a moment he forgot what he was doing, then noticed the tick of her own ear. "Oh, oops, here we go!" he said, pressing play on a solid groove track (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWyfBKLQSwg).

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

Daani smiled at Freddie, then closed her eyes and let the music wash over her. For a few minutes it was nice to pretend that the rest of her family didn’t exist.

[Fredal Rabeak]

And, for a few minutes, Freddie just sat there beside her, head bobbing and bare toes tapping to the groove, occasionally stealing sidelong glances at the girl who was way, waaaay out of his league.

Was this what it felt like to have a girlfriend? If it was it was... nice. And for those few minutes, he indulged himself in his own little personal fantasy, all the while dreading the moment the track would end.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

T'yeellaa wished she had a better plan than a brute force one, which currently was to patrol the concourse and hope she ran into her little sister. At least she didn't simply yell out her name. She had to imagine how Daani would've reacted to that, and it didn't bode well.

So instead she pushed through the crush of dozens of sentient species and hundreds of individuals. She doubted she'd find her at any of the food kiosks - certainly none of them had much of an appetite after what had happened. T'yeellaa kept a particular close eye on any young Cizeri girls that passed, although from the way that Daani was growing, that distinction was harder to isolate. Daani was almost as tall as she was now!

What about the jewelry hawkers? She couldn't imagine Daani being there, nor the clothiers. Shopping was an easy stress relief, but Daani wasn't Rai'faani or even the twins. She had her head in the stars.

The Stars.

T'yeellaa turned on a heel, looking at the array of windows at the outer wall of the concourse. At any hour, the windows at the concourse offered an unfettered view of incoming and outgoing ships. If Daani was going to be anywhere, she had to be there.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

The song ended, and Daani looked sideways at Freddie as the next track started. She couldn’t even remember a time that she’d actually been around a boy her age, sitting together, hanging out. It was... nice?

When he looked up she quickly flicked her eyes back to the vast transparisteel windows, avoiding eye contact.

[Fredal Rabeak]

Freddie's ears wilted as Daani looked away, and he was prepared for her to just get up and leave him. But she didn't. Blinking, the young Nehantite thought about his situation, and took advantage of a lull in the slower next track.

"You, uh, live here?" he asked. He'd seen many Cizeri aboard Jovan, and understood they held a permanent presence. "I'm just in for the night. My ship heads out in the morning."

Instantly he realized it sounded like he was coming onto her in the worst possible way, so he hurriedly added, "I'm the engine tech on the Quasar Fantastic. We've got another race to get to. But it's kind of nice to just stop for a bit. Just take a break from things, y'know?"

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

She turned immediately to face him, ears perked forward. “jYou worrk on the Quassarr Fantasstjic? Arre jyou kjiddjing me?! What rrace arrre jyou headjing to? What’ss the crrrazjiesst wajy jyou’ve had to fjix sssomethjing mjid-rrace?”

She was embroiled in politics and family garbage, and here was this guy her age, living the dream. Daani’s whole face had lit up as she barraged Freddie with questions, her troubles momentarily forgotten.

[Fredal Rabeak]

"Y-yeah," Freddie stammered at first, caught like a nerf in the drivelights by Daani's sudden interest in him. Without moving his head, or altering his shocked expression, his eyes angled down to make sure that he was still wearing his official team 3/4 length sleeve tee, in the Quasar Fantastic's garish color scheme.

"I've been on for about two months, now," he blinked as he brought himself back to focusing on his work. In a heartbeat, his awkwardness melted away, and an eager grin turned up his muzzle, as his thin earring caught the light while his ears perked. "We did the Sluis Van Invitational, and came in first! Took a while to complete repairs, though, and we're about to do the Dragon Void Run."

The boy's tailtip bounced with excitement as he thought back over the near-disaster on the Sluis Van Invitational, and he tried to remember his limited media coaching. But it all just sort of came out in energetic rambling, instead. "So, we were in second, right? And Captain Maron gets this idea we should slingshot through a star's corona. The Quasar isn't really built for that, right? But we do it anyway. I shunted the power from engine two directly to the shields, and maxed one and three. It was good for a while, but two caught fire and failed at the end. Still, with that, and my afterthrust shield design, Captain Maron was able to squeak us just past the guy in first, and we took the race! But, ugh, before engine two went down I had to pull power from everything. Like, eeeeverything. No lights, no life support, no nothing, just enough for the gravity mesh so I could run back there and put the fire out!"

The trauma of the fire suppressed, his mind carried on past it, and he chuckled. "But, ugh, it was like three weeks of work to rebuild engine two, and so many parts! Did some other system upgrades while I was at it, and I'll have a few things more to do before the Void. That's why we're here, getting some parts so I can keep working. That, and I could finally get paid, too. Got a new comm!" Freddie grinned widely, holding up the secondhand, older-generation personal comm he'd be playing music through, as if it were cutting edge and in style.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

The outer concourse windows were always slightly crushed with sentients looking to get a good view, so it was slow going maneuvering the crowds. The entire concourse was a fourteen kilometer walk to circumnavigate, T'yeellaa hoped that she wouldn't have to walk the whole distance in a fruitless search. Just as she was starting to question the wisdom of what she was doing, she heard a familiar voice talking in breathless excitement. T'yeellaa's ears perked, and she followed the sound.

Twenty five meters down the walkway, she saw Daani, sitting on a bench with a Nehantite boy. Rather than sounding like the angry teen who'd left the family dinner, Daanarri sounded engaged in a happy conversation that had nothing to do about family troubles. T'yeellaa froze in her tracks, suddenly not sure if interjecting herself in this moment was a good idea.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

"No ljife ssupporrt?" Daani's eyes widened. "That ssoundss crrrazjy! But awessome. Prrobabljy helped keep the fjirre jin check, rrealljy, wjith less oxjygen."

She took in his prized purchase, almost frowning at the obviously secondhand comm, but she recovered quickly. "That'ss rrealljy cool. Worrkjing forr Captajin Marrron... goddess jI wjissh jI could do ssomethjing ljike that. jI'm a pjilot, jyou know. jI mean, jI wjill be."

Daani's ears drooped a little as the weight of the recent family dinner came crushing back. "Mjy famjiljy expectss everrrjyone to fjit jinto a box. jI even have to get marrrjied to ssomeone jI don't know. Whjich jI guesss jissn't sso bad. jI'll get to bosss hjim arrround."

She didn't look happy about it.

[Fredal Rabeak]

Freddie didn't miss the look Daani gave his comm. Of course it wasn't impressive to her. Her shoes cost more, probably, and so his shoulders slumped a bit as his new acquisition already began to lose some of its shine. Eager for a topic change, the boy opened his mouth to start back into racing talk, when an unexpected bomb was dropped into his lap, and he had no idea how to defuse it.

"Married?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly. "Like, now?" His natural expression of worried confusion returned, and his tail lashed as he felt unreasonably angry for the situation this new girl he'd just met had been put in. "Shouldn't you have some say in that? Like, what if you don't love him? Or he doesn't love you?" The words just fell out of his mouth as soon as they came into his head, and he found a conviction which he didn't know he possessed. Expression turning defiant, he sat up straight. "No, you should marry who you want, when you want," he stated. "Nobody should have to be with someone they don't want to." A nod was added at the end, though it left Freddie wondering if he was telling that to Daani, or himself.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"jIt'ss morre compljicated than that."

T'yeellaa spoke up, carefully closing the distance between her and the two teens.

"jI wjissh jit wassn't, ssometjimess. jIt would make thjingss eassjierr."

Her eyes were on her sister, but they then moved to the Nehantite.

"jYou made a frrjiend."

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

Daani startled at the sound of T’yeellaa’s voice, and her cheeks quickly flushed. Freddie’s assertions about love and marriage were what she actually believed, but Daani knew that culturally, at least her first husband would always be picked for her, whether by her mother or that gaggle of high priestesses back at the Sun Palace.

And she had been fine playing the good daughter to her mother, until... until it all went wrong.

”No law agajinsst jit,” Daani said, a little too sharply. “What do jyou want?”

[Fredal Rabeak]

T'yeella's entrance had surprised Freddie as well, though his reaction was decidedly different than Daani's. Turning to face the older Cizeri woman, Freddie cringed slightly, his face going pale beneath his gray fur, color draining from his ears as they drooped in fear.

A station uniform. And not just any station uniform, but one of command. Biting his lower lip to keep it from trembling, the boy's mind raced as he tried to recall any rules or laws he might have broken this time around. He'd wound up in a holding cell on Jovan twice before, and he certainly didn't want to make it a third - especially not when everything was going so well!

But then no order to stand came. No reprimand for some infraction, no accusations of thievery. Which was good, as he had made sure to get a receipt for his purchase. Instead the commander's presence seemed to be related to Daani, and Daani apparently knew this new woman. Unsure of what to say, and his heart pounding in his narrow chest, Freddie managed, "We were just talking. I was gonna ask if she wanted to see my ship."

In the back of his mind, he mulled over how bad an arranged marriage would be, though he did find one bright spot, if he were forced into one: He'd actually get to mate with a girl, not get mated as the girl. Wisely, he kept his mouth shut entirely about that thought.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

She immediately regretted interjecting herself in this moment. The change in mood on Daani's face was instant. That, combined with what appeared to be a perfectly friendly Nehantite at the wrong place at the wrong time just compounded the awkwardness of the moment. But if T'yeellaa said nothing, what could guarantee that she'd get another chance?

"jYou have everrjy rrjight to be angrrjy at me, Daanarri. jI jusst don't want jyou to leave on that feeljing."

The officer wrang her white-gloved hands, conflict on her face at trying to make sense of the mess of feelings inside so that she could speak truth to them.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

"jI alrrreadjy djid," muttered Daani, turning to face the windows again. All the sour feelings from before were flooding back, and she rounded on her oldest sister, her curls brushing past Freddie's nose as she spun around on the bench.

"jI thought... that obejyjing Mama jissn't sso bad, T'yeellaa worrked jin the ssysstem to get what sshe wanted. jI thought that jyou, that jyou two sstjill werrre good. That Mama knew, ljike when sshe ssent Cirr awajy, that sshe knew who jyou werre and wass okajy wjith jit."

Now that it had started spilling out the words wouldn't stop, but Daani was vaguely aware of Freddie sitting there as an unwilling participant in the scene. "But sshe hatess what jyou do! Sshe jusst can't do anjythjing about jit becausse jit's technjicalljy acceptable and yourr command sstrrructurrre jiss out of herr rreach. And jI thought jyou werrre... jyou jussst let herr trrreat jyou ljike that. jYou ssajid jit wass okajy.

"jIt'ss not okajy, T'ye." Daani found it a little thrilling to talk to her sister like this. They'd never had a discussion like two adults before. "jYou sshouldn't forrgjive herr. jYou don't need her monejy. jI don't need her monejy.

"jI'm gojing to get marrjied, ljike sshe wantss, jI'll get awajy frrrom the Palace and then jI'm gojing to do whateverrr the fuck jI want."

[Fredal Rabeak]

His nose twitched from where he'd been whipped with the softest, bounciest, most golden curls he'd ever seen, yet Freddie did not reach up to rub it, lest he lose the scent of whatever wondrous, floral-based conditioner Daani used.

So instead he sat there bewildered, his pink eyes panning back and forth between the two Cizerack women clearly involved in some family spat that he really shouldn't be part of, yet there he was. Part of him said to get up and excuse himself, that it was none of his business, and part of him wanted to play the hero somehow - while yet a third part reminded him that Daani still had his other earbud, which he'd just bought, and he couldn't leave without it.

Wait, palace? Was Daani a... a princess? Oh, Garfife, she had to be! Who else lived in palaces and had to go through arranged marriages? Literally no one else but princesses, if all the media he'd consumed in life had taught him anything! Scraping up a bit more courage, the Nehantite surprised even himself as he said, "Wait, if neither of you need your mother's money, why don't you just... do your own thing anyway?"

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"Becausse jit'ss not about the monejy, but jit'ss sstjill about famjiljy and that meanss ssomethjing to me, even jif jI'm on the outssjide and lookjing jin."

T'yeellaa was answering the alien boy, but the answer was directed to her sister.

"jIf jit wass jusst me that had to deal wjith the conssequencess, that'ss one thjing Daani, but jit'ss not."

She wrapped both arms instinctively at her middle.

"jI'm gojing to have a cub. jIll-favorred bjy motherr orr not, jin ten monthss jI'll have a daughterr - orr a sson. And jyou'll have a njiece orr a nephew. And jI want jyou jin thejir ljife, Daanarri. jI want Rai'fa, Aleeha, Talliaala, Cirrsseeto, Ruuluthaai, and jyess, motherr alsso."

T'yeellaa slowly smoothed her hands down the length of her jacket to keep them from shaking.

"jI'm afrrajid. jI've been afrrajid frrom the moment jI found out, and doubljy-sso the moment jI decjided jI was gojing to keep jit."

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

“jIt’ss a half-brreed,” stated Daani, without malice. “jIf jyou thjink Mama wjill accept jit asss a grrand-cub...? People lose frrjiendss and contrrractss overrr lesss. Not to mentjion herrr new possjitjion! Sshe wjill be almosst asss jimporrrtant asss the Prrjide Motherrr!”

She blew out a breath, angrily. “jYou have to choosse. jYou’rrre alwajyss mjy ssjissterr, and Rai prrobabljy feels the ssame? But Mama? jYou gonna forrrgjive herrr everrrjy tjime sshe jinssultss jyour cub and jyour bojyfrrrjiend?” Daani was still sitting, connected to Freddie by his earbuds, but he was practically forgotten in her fervor.

[Fredal Rabeak]

"It's a kid!" Freddie broke in. For the first time since T'yeellaa had shown up, his expression was no longer one of bewilderment, but of indignance as he looked between the pair.

"You can't talk about a kid like it's some sort of thing, something you use as a status symbol, or use to gain benefit from others with, and it sure as hell shouldn't be other people's concern who aren't its parents!" The gray-furred Nehantite's tail lashed as he spoke. "It doesn't have any control in how it came to be, so why should that matter?"

His attention turned back to Daani. "Or would you rather her just up and leave it, if it's an inconvenience?"

There was something pointed, even venomous in his tone, as if a raw nerve had not only been touched, but struck with a stunstick, and his pink eyes had flared red with anger, as was common in his race as he glanced between the sisters once again. "If your mom is that bad, maybe you two should just leave her, before she leaves you. At least that way you can choose where you end up, instead of being stuck somewhere you don't want to be."

Freddie had to swallow hard to keep his voice from cracking at those last words, and his angry eyes glistened with more wetness than they had when he started.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

The Nehantite spoke to everyone's unspoken conscience in a sudden outburst that caused T'yeellaa's ears to lower in anguish. She averted her eyes for a moment. When she raised them, her ears were level again, and she looked at Freddie.

"What'ss jyourr name?" her tone wasn't authoritative, but rather soft. If he was going to be caught up in this crossfire, then there was no sense in being rude over it.

[Fredal Rabeak]

For all his sudden bravery, Freddie's ears immediately collapsed in cowering defeat the moment a woman in station uniform asked for his name. It didn't matter that she was pretty, and wasn't barking orders at him. She was an officer of a station where he'd been put in a security cell twice already for vagrancy.

Swallowing again, he replied in a more timid voice. "Freddie. Um, Fredal Rabeak, ma'am."

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

There was just enough space on the bench for T'yeellaa to occupy on her sister's left, so she took a seat.

"Frreddjie. Daani jiss rrjight, to a pojint. Therre'ss the wajy thjingss sshould be, and therre'ss the wajy thejy arre. Ourr people, thejy'rre a prroud people, often to the pojint of crrueltjy and thejirr own detrrjiment ssometjimess. Tjimess ljike thjiss."

She drew in a deep breath as she looked to her feet.

"But ourr motherr hass pusshed back agajinsst that beforre, whjy not now?"

And this time, the question was directed to Daani, almost pleadingly as T'yeellaa grimaced.

"Sshe ssaved Cirrsseeto frrom an abussjive marrrjiage when lessserr Rrou'fai would have left thejirr ssonss to thejirr fatess ssjimpljy to majintajin alljiancess. Sshe'ss not afrrajid to fjight when jit'ss rrjight to do sso. Sso whjy not thjiss tjime?"

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

“Sshe ssaved Cjirr to ssave herrr own rreputatjion. To prrove sshe jissn’t a lessserr Rrou’fai.” Daani wasn’t sure that tracked, but it sounded good. “And jI don’t know whjy sshe ssent me wjith hjim. jI ussed to thjink jI musst have done ssomethjing wrrong but now jI thjink jI wass jusst jin the wajy of herr carreerr. Sshe barreljy sseess ourr ljittle brrotherr, lettjing hjim be rrajissed bjy hjiss fatherr.”

Daani turned to Freddie, not happy that he’d misunderstood what she’d been saying. “jI know jit’s a cub, a perrrsson, but jin the Clussterr half-brreeds arre at bessst ssecond-classss cjitjizenss. jI’ve never even met one.”

The fifteen-year-old looked back at her oldest sister. <“She hit you, Sailla. I’d bet this isn’t the first time. I don’t understand everything about your relationship with Mama because I was a kid, and I was away, but I know that if someone really loves you they don’t hit you.”>

[Fredal Rabeak]

It happened. Freddie thought it might, but he was hoping it wouldn't: language was changed so he couldn't understand them.

There are few ways to make someone feel more like an outsider than when you know they speak your language, then suddenly choose not to, to exclude you entirely. You no longer mattered, you were beneath their concern to remain involved in the conversation. You were at best a second-class citizen.

But he did matter, Freddie told himself. He mattered, and he'd understood enough of what was said before he was shut out to become properly offended.

"Sounds like the Cluster is a shithole," he stated frankly. "If you judge someone on their race? That's pretty backwards and shitty, and even a trailer trash dumbass like me knows that." His nostrils flared as he snorted the words with disgust. Freddie was hardly one to complain though, as Nehantish had its own castes, and he didn't rank terribly high among them - but he also didn't believe someone's birth determined their worth. Though that might be a hard sell to a pair of princesses.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

T'yeellaa raised a gloved hand slightly at Daani's words in Cizeri. One, because it wasn't polite, but two because she wasn't sure she was ready to confront that yet. While it was the first time that mother had struck her, the truth of the thing was that there couldn't be a second time.

"Motherr ssent jyou wjith Cirr becausse whjile Ssanjiss djid a noble thjing, he wass sstjill a forrda and an outssjiderr. Awajy frrom home, he mjight be ssafe, but that'ss a loneljy ljife. He sshould be wjith famjiljy. jYou djid a verrjy noble thjing, bejing therre wjith hjim when he needed jyou."

How had her baby sister become so cynical? Part of that was likely due to being a teenager, but T'yeellaa hoped that was the whole of it. T'yeellaa took one of Daani's hands in her own, giving it a squeeze.

"And when jyou went to sserrve jin the palace, jyou werre noble sstjill. Motherr wass prroud of jyou - sshe sstjill jiss, but jyou djidn't ssee herr when sshe wass sscarred forr jyou, Daanarri. jI djid."

She covered their clasped hands with her other gloved hand. Then Freddie spoke.

There was having your own misgivings about your people and your culture, and then there was hearing an outsider say it. T'yeellaa's ears warmed and she wanted to put Freddie right. There were things that needed to improve in the Pride, but to write it all off? That was the height of forrda ignorance. But as soon as T'yeellaa's expression hardened, it ebbed again.

"jYou'rre rrjight. jIt'ss wrrong, and jit needss to change. But we'rre movjing agajinsst a thoussand jyearrss of jinerrtjia. jIt'ss gojing to take tjime. Look at when the Galactjic Rrepubljic became the Empjirre. Thejy adopted ssjimjilarr morress forr a ssjingle generratjion, and even a galactjic cjivjil warr wassn't enough to sstop jit completeljy. Even jin the Alljiance. That doessn't excusse jit, but therre arre a lot of women and men jin the Prrjide who arre worrkjing to put rrjight what can be put rrjight. And forr all of herr faultss, mjy Motherr jiss one of them. Sshe wouldn't have pjicked the fjightss sshe hass jif sshe wassn't."

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

Daani let Freddie's words about the Cluster being a shithole slide by. She was on the same page as him as far as that was concerned, although it was a glorious and ornately decorated shithole. But a gilded cage was still a cage, and Daani was enjoying flexing her metaphorical wings now that she wasn't being watched at all hours of the day in the palace.

jYou djid a verrjy noble thjing, bejing therre wjith hjim when he needed jyou.

"jI wass ten when Mom sssent me awajy, and even jif jI had been gjiven a chojice jI wassn't old enough to conssent, and jyou know jit."

[Fredal Rabeak]

"Adults never care about consent," Freddie snorted. "If you're their kid, you gotta do what they say. No matter how much you don't want to."

There was a bitterness bordering on acid in his words, though this time not aimed at T'yeellaa, or anyone there in particular. Instead his tail lashed behind him, and he started down at the screen of his personal comm. "But you still got to go back to a palace. That's something, at least," he grumbled, tabbing through music he'd loaded, as if trying to find just the right track. Nothing seemed to fit.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"That'ss an awfulljy ssjimpljisstjic vjiew." T'yeellaa's ears leveled and she sighed, turning her attention from Freddie to her sister.


"Sso, when jyou gjive jyourr ka'arri to whoeverr jyou choosse, and jyou leave the palace, what do jyou want to do, Daanarri?"

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

"Whoeverr jI choose frrom who Mama hass pjicked out forr me?" she replied wryly. "jI'm gojing to usse Mama's monejy frrom the weddjing and bujy a sshjip and trravel the galaxjy. jI'll alrreadjy have a co-pjilot."

Daani shrugged, the earbud still dangling from her ear attaching her to Freddie's comm. "Assumjing jI get to leave the palace at all, or do anjythjing Mama wantss. jIf the Prrjide Motherr wantss to keep me therre jI guesss jI'm sstuck. But jI thjink wjith a match publjicalljy announced jI wjill be prrotected frrrom that, orr frrom the Prrjide Motherrr makjing a match forr me herrrsself."

[Fredal Rabeak]

With the passing of each word, Freddie began to doubt any of the Prince Charmings in films ever lived happily ever after once being with their princess, if this was what princesses were really like. His fantasy of being a prince in the Sultan's palace was also being shredded by the thoughts of political family structure, and obligation vs. being loaded and free to do whatever you felt like. But he wasn't so far gone to say that his own upbringing was better, because it certainly was not.

Still, he felt like a mail slot on a revolving door, in the conversation. There, technically able to serve a purpose, but superfluous and unnecessary beyond a moment's notice for novelty's sake. A glance down at his comm, and he flicked through more music, but refrained from hitting play again.

"Do the guys not get a say in the matter, too?" he finally asked with a sigh. "I mean, what if they don't want to marry you, just like you apparently don't want to marry them? Takes two to get married, after all."

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

"Dependss on the famjiljy," answered Daani. "Mjy brrrotherr wass jin a bad ssjituatjion afterr hjiss arrrranged marrjiage and Mama got hjim out of jit. But jit'ss all backwarrdss jin the Clusssterr. jI thjink that the jidea that a male wouldn't want to be marrrjied to whoeverr he'ss matched to would sseem crrazjy to mosst people therrre."

[Fredal Rabeak]

"I wouldn't want to be married to someone I've never met," Freddie snorted.

A thought crossed his mind a moment later that while he didn't want that, it might be about the only way he'd ever be with a girl, followed by the sobering memory that there wasn't anyone who could even fix him up, so he was back to square one.

Square one, in this case, had involved finding somewhere to sit down and play with his new-to-him personal comm. "But I guess it's different when you're a princess," the boy then shrugged. "Probably a bunch of guys just willing to be part of that power and money, huh?"

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

“A prrrjincesss?” Daani frowned, not understanding what Freddie meant. Then it dawned on her. “Ohhh, jI’m not a prrrjincesss. jI am a... well, bassjicalljy a ssserrvant to the Prrrjide Motherrr. jI guessss she’s like a queen.”

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

Feeling uncomfortable and losing the initiative in a conversation between her sister and effectively a stranger, T'yeellaa interrupted.

"Frreddjie, can jI have a few mjinutess alone wjith mjy ssjissterr?"

[Fredal Rabeak]

Aaaaand there it was. The door. There was very little you could do when one person you didn't know turned out to know the person you'd been talking to, and was showing you the door. Very little other than leave, that is.

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded, trying to show respect for the uniform. Turning back to Daani, he smiled and tapped his comm to hers, a pleasant "Ding" of confirmation sounding through their earbuds. "Here's my number in case you want to see the Quasar Fantastic later. I'll be around... well, at least until tomorrow."

Standing up, he accepted his other earbud back, and offered a hopeful, "Good luck. Like, with marriage and all that." And with that, the young Nehantite made his way off the viewing platform, in search for another comfy spot to sit and play with his new comm. And perhaps some other pretty girl to talk to. Well, at least a comfy place to sit.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

The smile that Daani had given to Freddie as he'd left faded slowly as she turned back to her older sister.

"Arre jyou gojing to do jit?"

T'yeellaa gave her a look, as if she wasn't sure what Daani was talking about. The younger Cizeri chewed her lip and tried again.

"Arre jyou gojing to marrrrjy who Mama wantss jyou to marrrrjy?"

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

It took a long period of silence for T'yeellaa to find an answer - which didn't satisfy her, and likely wouldn't satisfy her sister either.

"jI don't know."

More silence. Conflict tightened T'yeellaa's expression. She stared ahead at a spot on the floor, unconsciously tugging out the slack in her white gloves.

"jIf jit wass jusst a matterr of me, prrobabljy. jI know whjy jit'ss jimporrtant. But Ssamuss?"

She shook her head.

"He'd neverr underrsstand, and jI don't know wherre that would leave uss. Then agajin, jI don't know wherre we sstand even now."

Especially not when a cub was involved. T'yeellaa exhaled slowly.

"jI guess mjy tjime forr fjigurrjing that out jiss up. jI have to make that chojice now, sso...no."

Just saying the word felt like shrugging off a heavy weight. She drew in another deep breath, letting it out in a rush.

"No jI wouldn't."

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

"jYou mean jyou won't. Ssshe won't ljike that." Daani shook her head sadly. "jIt issn't fajirr that jyou get to do what jyou want.

"But jyou've alwajyss been good at leavjing jyourr famjiljy behjind," she muttered almost under her breath.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"jYou make jit ssound ljike jitss sso eassjy." T'yeellaa, feeling wounded, winced at the sharpness in her own reply. "The moment jI chosse to put on crrjimsson and take the du'arri, jI've had to pajy that prrjice, and when jI choosse Ssamuss, jit'll onljy be a larrgerr one. What do jyou want me to ssajy, Au'laana? jI don't thjink jyou carre whetherr jyou have mjy blesssjing orr not, sso jit'ss not that. All jI can tell jyou jiss that when jyou make the chojice jyou'rre headed towardss, therre arre conssequencess jyou'll have to face."

The K'ohta'rrou sighed, and at last stood up.

"Come wjith me." she offered a white gloved hand, "Therre'ss ssomethjng jI owe jyou."

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

Daani got up, ignoring the outstretched hand, and flipped her hair behind her shoulder. "jYou don't owe me anjythjing, Sailla. jI am ssorrjy forr mjy outburrsst." Her practiced manners as a rrou-korrta slid into place neatly.

What unforeseen consequences would there be, for obeying her mother? A lifetime of unhappiness? But then, it didn't seem like T'yeellaa was all that happy, but Daani turned to follow her obediently.

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"No," T'yeellaa pushed back, but gently, "Therre jiss ssomethjing..."



Five Minutes Later


Cresh Hangar was hardly buzzing with activity the moment they arrived. There were no squadron actions planned, and even the occasional escort sortie was at a lull. The expansive bay was full of X-Wings, A-Wings, and a pair of massive K-Wings in the background. The only activity was from a skeleton crew of a half dozen techs and mechanics who were pulling a choice few ships for maintenance. The chief of the deck approached, mindful enough to see T'yeellaa's uniform but curious enough about the obvious civilian in tow.

"Sshe'ss wjith me." T'yeellaa waved the chief off with casual reassurance, then paused.

"Actualljy, jI wanted to know jif the trrajinerr'ss avajilable."

As if to illustrate her intent, T'yeellaa clasped a hand on Daanarri's shoulder.

"Want to evaluate a candjidate forr cadet placement."

T'yeellaa squeezed her sister's shoulder, wordlessly spurring her to follow her lead.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

The hanger was wonderful. The fighters sat arranged on the deck like giant toys, just waiting for someone to play with them. But Daani was brought back to reality when T’yeellaa mentioned a trainer and candidates for cadet placement.

She planted her feet in confusion, feeling panic rise in her throat. “jI’ve never flown a fjighterr, Sailla, jI can’t do thjiss!”

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

Fortunately her sister's comment was just quiet enough to pass under the sounds of the machinery in the background. That, or the chief of the deck paid the greenhorn cadet-to-be's protests no mind. T'yeellaa kept her hand on Daani's shoulder, squeezing it in an unspoken you'd better follow my lead.

"You're in luck, K'ohta'rrou. My crew's just finished overhauling the avionics. I can get her fueled up and ready, just give the word."

T'yeellaa nodded, casually herding Daanarri towards the prep room.

"The worrd'ss gjiven, Chjief."

Relatively alone again as they crossed the hangar, T'yeellaa eased her hand from her younger sister's shoulder.

"A fjighterr worrkss fundamentalljy the ssame asss a ssuborrbjital orr a ljight frreighterr. jYou alrreadjy know all the bassjicss."

She grinned. "jI know jyourr calljing'ss out therre. Let'ss go a ljittle bjit farrtherr."

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

“But jI ljike frrejighterrs,” she muttered under her breath. Daani gave herself a little shake and followed T’yeellaa across the deck that seemed to stretch on forever. This was a gift, and one she should take advantage of.

Her excitement grew after she pushed away her fear. If nothing else this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Daani skipped a bit to catch up with her sister as she’d been lagging behind.

“How doesss the trrajinerr worrrk? jIss jit a ssjim orr..?”

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

"jIt'ss rreal fljight experrjience. The fusselage jiss elongated to housse a tandem cockpjit. jYou'll be up frront and jI'll be rrjight behjind jyou."

The sisters entered the prep room, which was comprised of multiple rows of benches and lockers for pilots to suit up into flight gear. At the far side of the room, a quartermaster droid stood watch over a series of equipment carousels, including racks of extra jumpsuits, helmets, gloves, and boots.

"Daanarri Meorrrei jiss authorrjized forr ljimjited ssuperrvjissed fljight access. Authorrjizatjion D436H95."

The droid stuttered to life at the input of correct clearance information. "Fulfilling." It wheeled around, four independent grappling arms working at selecting the necessary equipment. T'yeellaa began to shed her white gloves, then went to work on opening her jacket.

"jI hope jyou ljike orrange."

Her sister was taking it all in, clearly excited about what was happening. T'yeellaa gave her a little space to gather her things as she walked down to the benches at the officers row. A brief pass in front of the biometric scanner unlocked her own personal cubby. She pulled out her own crimson and gold helmet and suit, but kept her eyes on Daani, happy to see her experience this for the first time.

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

"jI'm ussed to jit at leasst," Daani said. She quickly got dressed in the provided flight suit. It was too big, but did have a tail-hole, which was a relief. She cinched the waist and tied her curly hair back to the nape of her neck, tucking it as best she could down inside the flight suit. If she'd know she was going to wear a helmet today she might have been better prepared, but this was the best solution she could come up with.

She stood for a minute, looking herself over, and then turned toward her sister. "Djid jI do that rrjight?"

[T'yeellaa Meorrrei]

The colors were wrong, the suit was oversized, but T'yeellaa looked her little sister over and was at a loss for words. It wasn't exactly that she was seeing a part of herself in Daani, and it wasn't exactly coming to terms with the fact that she wasn't a little kid anymore. As she helped Daanarri cinch down the harness straps over her boots, another part fell into place. When she had decided to go for her commission in the Trade Navy, she didn't have anybody that she could ask that question to. Part of that realization was longing, but more importantly, T'yeellaa knew that Daanarri should have someone to talk to about this. She deserved that. Cirrsseeto could probably speak to some of it, but his trajectory from House Meorrrei and into the stars looked a whole lot different than it did for a woman who had demands and expectations.

Coming out of that poignant introspection, the elder Meorrrei smiled. She wanted to wrap Daani up in a hug, and knew that if the roles were reversed, she'd hate that. Instead, T'yeellaa settled for a squeeze of a gloved hand against her sister's shoulder that lasted just long enough to say what she wanted to say but didn't quite have the words to pull off.

"jYou look good jin that."

[Daanarri Meorrrei]

"Oh, this old thing?" Daani struck a pose, and the sisters laughed.

It was ...nice. She'd been bounced around systems with Cirr and Sanis long enough that she knew she wanted to live in the stars, but she also felt the extreme weight of expectations and cultural responsibility from the razor's edge she had to walk at the Sun Palace. To find support for her dream of being a pilot from T'yeellaa was different.

They had never been close, their ages were too far apart and Daani barely remembered T'yeellaa from before she joined the Trade Navy. However, in that moment in the locker room, a connection forged between them. Even if they approached things differently, T'yeellaa knew what it was to buck her mother's wishes. And even if Daani went along with what Taataani wanted as far as a marriage, that didn't mean she was going to be a traditional Cizeri female.

Daani threw herself at her sister, wrapping her up in a hug. Surprised, T'yeellaa wrapped her arms around her little sister, then pressed her face into the wild mess of curls as she hugged her close. "Thank jyou," Daani whispered.

As they walked to the starfighter for some hands on piloting lessons, Daani felt a weight lifted, at least partially. Maybe there was someone who understood her after all.


FIN