Run the Right Way

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Schwartzweld






On Schwartzveld, many things were both familiar and different. Strange and regular all at the same time.

At least her mother had a sense of what was proper. For her? There was no such thing. No such ability to divine what was proper and what was not. While there was no desire to actively share anything with anyone that she felt, there was still the need for another body that drove her. She was confused, but it was so much more complex than simply not knowing. There were the what-if's, the what-about's, the but-why's. The notion that anyone could mean more to her than those directly in her daily life... it was strange and scary and she found herself afraid.

It was because of this that she'd also found herself back home. Back at the family manor on Schwartzweld.

Masked beneath the regular visits that her mother took her on, she'd decided to take advantage. She was old enough as it was, or so she suspected.

She felt she deserved to have a perspective that was neither her mother's nor Zem's.

Which was what drove her to where she was now - sitting cross-legged at the foot of the small bed that was currently inhabited by Erasmus Karrnage. Uncle Rasmuss. He was fast asleep, no doubt dreaming of chasing grassrats or swiftfoot deer.

It was almost four in the morning, if she was to go by the local time. She was patient though, unwilling to disturb his slumber. Half an hour later, she slid herself forward, burrowing herself into the side of his body as he continued to sleep. She had so much to tell him and ask him, and at the time that she'd awoken with those thoughts it had seemed like the best of ideas to immediately go to him. But now, after sitting and watching him continue to dream, there was a spell that she felt cast - a spell of exhaustion brought about by too much thought.

She gave in, curling up at his side in an effort to absorb the warmth that his body produced.

Her questions could wait, and she could ask him when they both woke...

[Colonel Karrnage]

Erasmus woke early. He'd always been an early riser, even before the Change. As an academic, he felt it proper to use a day's potential to it's fullest. He'd never had any use for excessive socializing or late-night frivolities. So when the first direct rays of sun climbed over the horizon and through his window, Erasmus opened his eyes. His brow furrowed at the perception of a nearby closeness.

Ah. Her.

He screwed the vestiges of sleep out of his eyes, sliding out of his covers. There were modest means of accomodation here, but Erasmus could still be a host. He went to put the kettle on. He'd hear the why of Teagan's visit when she woke.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She'd felt him stir, shifting beneath the covers of his blanket layers. It was as he slid from the bed that she rolled over, her arm whipping out and a hand grabbing a hold of his wrist before it passed from her reach.

"No," her voice was muffled in the softness of a thickly woven blanket.

"... stay."

She gave a sniff, then let him go as she sat up.

"Please... ?"

[Colonel Karrnage]

Erasmus only gave a cursory look back to the door before returning to the bed. He removed his slippers, and climbed back onto the mattress, drawing the covers around his middle as he sat upright.

"If you'd like."

There was a look of a thousand things moving about in her head. Erasmus was no stranger to that feeling. He patiently folded his hands over themselves, and waited for her to speak.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

He sat, and she sat. He always had a strange way of doing things, but she'd actually come to rely on his mannerisms after so many visits. He'd made a home here, on Schwartzweld. Living in the manor house of the Losstarot, he'd made sure to put his resources to good use. Her mother helped when she could, but there was really no substitute for actually living here.

She stared at him, pulled in a deep breath, and then let it out once more. Another. On the third, her eyes fell to her hands, neatly folded in her lap.

"I... you know about Wyl, right?"

It was a silly question on its face, since of course he knew about Wyl, but it was still one that she needed to make sure he answered aloud.

[Colonel Karrnage]

"The young man who drew your interest on Ossus? Yes, I remember you talking about him."

Relationship advice was hardly the academic's strong suit, and Erasmus raised an eyebrow at the lead. Still, she'd sought his counsel for a reason, so he'd be of as much use as he could.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Now sitting cross-legged beside him, Teagan let herself grow still momentarily. She wanted to make sure that her thoughts were ordered and understandable. She knew that Uncle Rasmuss wasn't exactly the sort to go out and lose himself to the urges of a rut, and so for this... she trusted him. He read so many books, and knew so many things, it was as though he was the best person in the manor to ask.

"Wyl left a while ago," she started, "... I haven't seen him since then, and I don't know where he is."

Her eyes shifted downward to focus on a patch of the outer comforter that seemed to poof up from around Uncle Rasmuss' folded hands. She reached out then, to dust off an imaginary speck of dust that she figured was most likely there.

"He never told me why, and I didn't know he was gone until after he was gone."

Her brow furrowed for only a moment before raising back up to match the shrug she now gave.

"It hurt, and I guess it still does, but it's not the same anymore."

She sighed.

"Did you ever lose someone that you thought you wanted to be around forever?"

[Colonel Karrnage]

"Hmm."

Erasmus pursed his lips slightly, knitting his brow in recollection.

"There was a woman in the Outland Academy. This was in the years before the Empire. Her name was Anjalee. We were fellow students; colleagues. We spent quite some time together, often researching the same material. If I would have been honest with myself, there may have been latent feelings that arose during our work."

Karrnage's expression softened, becoming wistful.

"But I did not. And when at last I had considered it, it was too late."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"Oh."

It was sad in a way, to see him now so alone, with nothing but an old multi-pedal MMU unit to keep him company when neither she nor her mother were visiting. KHEHN was the sort of companion that she would find enjoyable for a short time only, and the old avatar held too many bizarre behaviors for her liking.

"So now... " the very thought of his life now made her frown slightly.

"... now she's gone, and you're here," she finished with a whisper.

"What was she like?"

[Colonel Karrnage]

"She had a beautiful mind."

He looked away slightly in recollection.

"Always an elegant solution in hand. When our work was at its best, I felt that each of our ideas ran seamlessly into another. In a way, I've spent a long time trying to find that kind of synergy in my work. But I suppose that is only part of my loss."

Erasmus turned away from that regret, and to a more immediate problem.

"You're concerned that you've lost something with Wyl that you can't get back?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"I don't know. Maybe?"

She wasn't sure what to call it; shame? Did she feel ashamed? Did she feel that she was disrespecting his memory?

"It's more like, I'm worried. About honoring him and us."

The relationship she'd had with Wyl Staedtler had been a whirlwind of perfect friendship, capped by their need to constantly remain together. And then he'd gone to Ossus. And then so had she. And then... and then he'd just... left. But, what they were still resonated to her, and the young Lupine licked her lips as she felt guilty. But, she also couldn't help it.

"I don't know how to explain it the right way," she scowled while keeping her fingers busy with pinching at the folds of the comforter.

"It's like, am I bad if I let him go?"

[Colonel Karrnage]

He turned the question around for Teagan.

"Was Wyl bad to leave you behind? Can you solve for one side of the equation with the other side undefined?"

Erasmus shook his head slightly.

"You're quick to search for an answer, but questions like this often require patience. You are young. There is far more potential ahead of you than what is behind you. If you really want to honor Wyl, you shouldn't spend your time consumed by self doubt. It isn't constructive."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She stared at her hands, still sifting through the woven fibers of his outer blanket. It was a question that she'd asked herself more than a few times. In the first few days following Wyl's absence though she'd been angry. Angry at him, and herself, at everyone. Her best friend had left her! Gone off to travel who knew where when it was supposed to always be the both of them, exploring and finding new adventures. Instead, it had been just him that'd left. At first she had silently cursed him, asking her mother's old Bloodline to commit terrible acts upon him for leaving her alone on a planet that - back then - was full of people that didn't really like her at all. Some of them still didn't. She was almost certain that Master Laran hated her and wanted her gone, but at least Master Kaie was kind enough, having taken her under her wing to train her. Even Draiya had become a friend, despite everything that'd happened before that fateful Life Day. Rocky was... well, he was Rocky. He liked everyone. And the Major...

Teagan blinked, then tore her gaze upward so that she could settle her eyes on Rasmuss.

"Well, I was mad at him at first. I was angry and lots of times I went out and cried because I thought it was the worst thing anyone could do to anyone else."

Her voice lowered a tick then, as she spoke her next words.

"I used to think that it was how things were when Zem left Dama."

She felt horrid for saying it, even.

"But, well, after a while I wasn't angry. I was just sad. And then a while later, I wasn't even sad. Just a little sorry. I... think I know why he left, but it doesn't make him bad even though it hurts just the same."

[Colonel Karrnage]

He listened to it all. When it concluded, he simply gave a little nod of his head.

"Ah. Then it sounds as if you do understand."

Erasmus offered a small shrug.

"As much as the rest of us. There is an absence, a thing that is missing. When you are old as I am, it may be regret. But you are still young. There are infinite possibilities, limited only by your capacity to understand them."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

He always spoke to her like she was as much of an adult as he was, despite often enough mentioning that she was still early-on in her life. Maybe that was why she seemed to gravitate to him when the hard questions came about?

She furrowed her brow in thought, working through what he had said.

One thing in particular caught her more than the rest. It was something that she'd seen in her mother more than once, and something that she'd even brought up with Zem.

"You know," her voice was quiet as she tried to order her thoughts.

"... you're not really old anymore."

Her grip on the comforter released, and she reached forward to give the skin between his thumb and forefinger a small pinch.

"You're us. I've read enough of my mother's books to know that you and her both are going to be around for at least another few hundred years."

She gave a slight roll of her eyes, then.

"... no matter how many times she complains about bones and knees and stuff."

[Colonel Karrnage]

Erasmus wordlessly conceded that point of view with upturned palms.

"Perhaps. This is all relative. I am a man of letters. If I'm fortunate to have the long life I'm capable of having, I will probably continue to be. I've answered enough questions to know that questions inevitably follow. So for me, a greater opportunity to discover is a desirable outcome."

His mouth drew into a taut line beneath his manicured mustache..

"If I was not, it might not be so blissful. That is a long time to watch others come and go. Have you considered that?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"I have," she answered with a sigh.

Finally, she unfolded her legs, letting them stretch out. She'd hit a growth spurt, and was certainly taller than the last time she'd been home. Toes wriggled at the edge of the comforter towards the foot of the bed.

"But I guess if I didn't join in, then what's the point of being alive, right?"

Her head angled to the side as she stared at the far wall.

Again her thoughts drifted to why she was here.

"I... met someone," she finally got out.

"And I guess I'm sad that Wyl is gone, but it's also probably best, you know?"

[Colonel Karrnage]

She had an unusually mature grasp of these things, and Erasmus rewarded her conjecture with a deep nod.

"Ah, at last it comes out." His black eyebrows raised. He nodded again.

"Tell me about this someone."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She almost blurted out everything in that following moment, but at the very last second bit her tongue. No, she didn't want to say it all now. There was something else important that needed to be done, and the young Lupine shifted in her seat to spider-crawl her way over the top of him so that she could throw her legs over the edge of the bed, bare feet meeting the well-worn rug below.

"First we need to do something."

She pushed off the bed, and pivoting on a heel, held out her hand to him.

"I want to run."

Her fingers twitched in a motion that called for him to take her own hand so that she could pull him up.

"With you. I want to run with you."

She'd not had a good run since a few weeks back on Ossus, and it was never quite right when it was just her. Now here, she had the chance to share the experience. There was a certain promontory she wanted to visit, but it was the getting there that was just as important as being there.

[Colonel Karrnage]

"But we have not had morning tea." he weakly protested, relenting to her insistence and youthful energy as he eased off the bed.

Erasmus was not as enthusiastic about running as the youngster. There were other, more academic perks of his double life that he appreciated more than tiring himself out in a gallop. But he certainly wouldn't spoil her moment. She'd come such a long way, after all.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

* * *


The gangly, mottled grey vornskr crashed through a patch of underbrush, her stride never broken despite the obstacles around her. She'd had a lot of practice, after all. On Ossus. She veered sharply to the left, around a wide-trunked opar tree, then right again to dodge another. Her bony tail helped her to balance the sharp turn, and she sailed over an exposed bit of root before her claws dug into the soft earth once more, propelling her forward at a happy, frenzied pace.

She didn't even look back, and leaping forward onto a rocky outcropping, her muscles bunched to send her ever upwards over the hardscrabble boulders.

Finally, having reached the top, she skidded to a halt on the overlooking plateau, chest heaving as she finally turned to look back, hoping to see her racing partner.

[Colonel Karrnage]

Contrasting Teagan's grey, Erasmus's coat was a patchwork of white and rust. He dawdled behind Teagan as she loped. He'd pick up the pace for a hundred yards or so, invariably drawn off the path by a random scent that crossed his path. Nose to the ground in distraction, he only picked up the pace again when he saw that Teagan was advancing too far ahead.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

He was distracted again, and she let out a huff as her breathing settled. She stood for a minute longer before venturing back down, hopping from one stone-step to the next. Wide paws hit the loam finally, and her languid walk shifted to a lazy jog as she closed the distance. His nose was buried in the ground, butting into a small root crevasse. Perhaps he'd found a snack?

With a whorffle, the younger lupine sidled up to him, her rangy body pushing against his in a show of disregard for his personal space as her own nose joined his in curiously trying to find whatever it was that'd taken his fancy.

If it was a tree-glider, she hoped there would be two!

[Colonel Karrnage]

He grunted, relenting to her sudden interest in the local wildlife. But it was less as a snack and more as a hobby academic pursuit. It was one thing to observe and read about the territorial habits of ring-necked warbills, but it was an entirely different matter when you could experience the power dynamic with an extra sense fully realized. They'd inadvertently crossed into a warbill's territory. The sharp, unique scent of its marking on the patch of wildflowers gave it away. Erasmus wondered if Teagan was just as interested about such things?

Perhaps not. He whistled, thumping his tail as he sat on his haunches.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

There were no tree-gliders. In fact, there wasn't anything that could possibly be a snack!

As he sat, she let out a low, mournful hurrrr. Her nose pulled away from the root crack, and she looked at him. He looked like a teacher, sitting so properly with shoulders back, chest pushed out. The strange patterns of his white and rust-colored pelt were interesting, and she let out a last huff before approaching.

She sat before him, trying to mimic his pose. It was harder than it looked, but she eventually managed to approximate his posture. Moments later, her head angled to the side. He seemed like a statue! Almost like the disappointingly few times that she'd run with her mother, and the older Lupine insisted on simply sitting and basking in the sunlight. Sun was for running! Sun was for having fun!

Her entire body wanted to burst, but she maintained precise control. Head to one side, she finally let out a sharp bark to try and break his concentration.

[Colonel Karrnage]

His ears cocked, askew with his brows as he whined. One couldn't expect introspection forever. The older vornskyr rose to his feet, circling the younger one as if to stretch his legs. Not that he planned on taking the initiative here. Charging headlong was a hobby for the young. He'd settle for following.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

* * *

The time outside had been wonderful, and Teagan had very nearly run herself to sheer exhaustion. It felt like ages since she'd last been able to do such a thing, and with another Lupine, no less! Usually it was her mother who went out with her, and she'd become used to the hulking white vornskr that easily kept pace with her. Carousing about with Karrnage was much different, in that he did not exactly keep a constant tether. Often he became distracted, and her own curiosity made her turn back each time to see what he'd found. At first she'd thought it was a tree-glider. Then a root mouse. Then tookes. Then a horned jakrab.

Each time it was not what she'd imagined it to be, but each time she still doubled back.

But now, they were back at the manor.

In one of the still-remained towers, she met him. Clothed once more in old trousers and an even older looking shirt, the girl padded along on bare feet as she moved to the duffel she'd stashed away in a corner earlier in the morning.

"It must be nice to be able to Change and run whenever you want," she mused idly while pulling open the zipper.

[Colonel Karrnage]

Erasmus finished the last touches of getting dressed, buttoning his jacket as he turned to face his young guest.

"There is a certain amount of convenience, but I must confess that even as the only person on Schwartzweld, I still suffer from modesty."

He had a slightly bashful expression that passed as soon as it showed.

"But I am sure that will ebb with time. It is worth sating my curiosity. Every day is discovery. But that is for another time. You were wanting to talk to me about something before our Change. Something about meeting someone?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

A red parcel was pulled out, followed by another. Both looked to be expertly folded so that they were as flat as possible. Wire could be seen, the shapes it'd been bent into not perfect, but still understandable as a circle. Many circles, in fact; all compact and packed tightly together in a strange sort of folding way. The reddish color of what one could mistake as paper, was actually a sheer, thin fabric that had been folded, attached, and wrapped around the wires.

"First we have to say goodbye though," she mumbled.

Two small candles were pulled out then, and Teagan stared at what she'd pulled from the duffel for a moment before reaching out for one of the folded contraptions. She took it up, then held it out for Rasmuss.

"Here, take this."

Her free hand took up the other, and as he took the thing, she demonstrated how to unfold it.

"You have to open it up, like this... " carefully she let it unravel, the thin fabric connected by the metal rings that were as a skeleton to the whole strange fabricated body. When she was done, it was cylindrical, with a metal frame. At the very bottom ring, a holder had been fashioned in the center, with a neat collection of strings to hold it just slightly below.

She held it up carefully for him to see.

"... like this."

[Colonel Karrnage]

Erasmus hoisted the contraption as instructed, taking a moment to look it over. He arched an eyebrow, glancing back to the young girl.

"A lantern?"

It looked the sort. He recalled a holiday many years ago to Canto Bight in which the busy ancient streets had been lit up with such things. Handmade and cheap, but beautiful the same.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"Well, yeah... "

She shrugged at his correct guess.

"I read in a book that if a person wants to unburden themselves, and honor their loved ones, they should light flying lanterns."

She held her own aloft, giving it a critical eye.

"I also read that other cultures light them and send them into the air so that the spirits of their ancestors will feel their love."

A shrug.

"I don't know how true any of that is, but some of it made sense, and I think that it's the best way to say... " she bit her lip suddenly, not expecting the shakiness in her voice, "... to say... goodbye."

[Colonel Karrnage]

With the bent of their previous conversation, it left Erasmus plenty of avenues to infer who the first lantern was for.

"To...say goodbye to Wyl?"

But that accounted for one lantern. Teagan had two.

"But what of the other?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"Well," she bit her lip as she turned her lantern about, inspecting the sheer fabric as if to stall.

There was no use, as his gaze was enough to pull the admission out.

"Well, it was going to be for my dad," she paused for a moment, then corrected.

"... my real dad, that is. He wasn't a good person, but he was still my dad, you know?"

She blinked, letting her eyes go from Rasmuss' face to the lantern he held.

"But, I think it's better if it's for Anjalee."

She took up a pair of small candles.

"She deserves it more, I think."