Advice / Critique

[Maggewetok]

Just posted a story that I've been working on, "Hidden Gems", on the side and would love some help with seeing how it's going so far. :)

https://theholo.net/forum/showthread.php?57612-Hidden-Gems&p=1060642#post1060642

I'm enjoying the interactions between these characters, which are all part of a long standing roleplaying campaign that I've been running. Of course Maggie (Ilana) is this character and the others were played by my friends, so the comments and attitudes are almost spot on. Any advice or comments would be appreciated. Thanks.

[Morgan Evanar]

I can't read it without pasting it into a text editor because I use light style sets.

[PatrickM]

Very cool story, Maggewetok! I really like Alec. He's a fascinating character. I like other characters too.

[Maggewetok]

Thanks. :) It's still a work in progress, so working on the next scene now. I've also had a friend help me edit what I've got so far, so it's been cleaned up quite a bit.