The Morning After

[Inyos Aamoran]

It was the morning after the night before. The day before. The life before.

Inyos shuffled anxiously forward a single half step; or at least, as anxiously as he was able. The sensation was new, eagerly stampeding out of whatever corner of his soul emotions emerged from, and then floundering, staring around in confusion at the unfamiliar controls. How did anxiety go about affecting a Jedi? His heart rate played along, but what about the rest? Should his eyes be darting around? Should every movement be a shuffle? Should his Jedi senses be picking up stray thoughts and emotions from everyone around him? Or should he be shutting himself off instead, forcing himself not to feel the world around him, forcing himself to act natural, or whatever it was Atton Kira insisted upon? That was a complicated enigma unto itself. How did one relax and be themselves, when the definition of who they were was an unanswered enigma?

Another shuffled step was taken, and then a second; a minor course correction was taken to dodge the inattentive Devaronian whose face was too buried in her data device to properly watch while she was going. Inyos inspected his sleeve, relieved to find that the woman hadn't left behind a damp remnant of Stratobucks' finest caf. That would have been intolerable, a blemish upon something so important that it had robbed the Jedi of sleep, and disrupted his meditation into futility.

There was nothing unusual about this per se. On the contrary, it was perhaps the most usual thing that Inyos had done, possibly in his entire life. Here he was, queueing like a normal civilian, waiting in line to buy the beverage that apparently fuelled the entire population of the Galactic Empire. Inyos himself had no real taste for it: when you grew up in the Jedi Temple, early mornings were a way of life, and you quickly learned to draw on the Force to provide whatever focus and energy your tired mind and body was lacking. But the caf was not for him. This caf was for someone much more important.

My daughter.

Inyos rehearsed the phrase in his mind, eagerly training himself to use it in place of Padawan. That word had been problematic: it was an honour and a joy to know that it applied to Sadie K'Vesh, but it was hardly a term he could use in casual conversation, not beyond the circle of secrecy that surrounded the Exchange, at least. Daughter was something different. It meant different things to different people, but to him and to Sadie it was a mystery. It's meaning for them had yet to be defined, and for Inyos that was both frightening and comforting. So much of life had been a daunting mystery, but this? This was something he could solve with Saidra at his side. Padawan, daughter, or otherwise, that was a realisation worth clinging to.

He sucked in a breath as he stepped forward to the counter, finally his turn to order. He rattled off the words he'd been practising to himself for the entire walk here. A regular caf in the largest container you have; everything beyond that was self-serve. He waited with a fidget of impatience as Sadie's drink and his own caf alternative was prepared, loitering beside the industrial sized containers of creamer and sweetener. The barista arrived with the two containers, and Inyos faked a smile; not because he was sad, but simply because he hadn't yet learned how to convince his features to display such things of their own accord. Packets were fumbled with; just a tiny splash of creamer, not even enough to drain the whole packet; and a generous spoonful of sweetener for that I haven't had breakfast yet kick of energy.

Awkwardly discarding the packaging, he set about fumbling with the lid: something that turned out to be more complicated than he'd realised. The plascard cup and the plasti lid were designed to perfectly fit together, but as Inyos tried to hold the container stable, the two of them disagreed about it maintaining its circular shape. Caf climbed precariously up the sides as Inyos pushed and twisted the lid more or less into place; confusion surged through his mind as he regarded the bulbous labelled domes on the lid, which the barista had seemingly neglected to depress correctly. Inyos understood the language, but couldn't decipher their meaning in context. Was it contents? Sizes?

He glanced at the chrono mounted on the wall. 0659. Almost late. Sadie would almost be here.

Rushing the allegedly heat-proof sleeve into place around the caf container, Inyos grabbed Sadie's drink and his own Strawberry Cookie Nimbus Crush™ - another incomprehensible name, but the blend of cream, ice, and flavouring was surprisingly pleasant - and turned, weaving awkwardly through the tables towards the direction he knew Sadie would be arriving from.

He saw her, and a smile happened; completely unbidden this time. So that's how that happens, he mused, the smile turning a little awkward as he tried to tone it down. He should say something. He should initiate this momentous occasion with something profound, something meaningful, something to convey just how staggeringly significant it was for this to be the first thing they had knowingly done together as father and child. Instead, he merely thrust the caf in Sadie's direction, sheepishness tugging at his voice.

"I hope I remembered your order correctly."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

There was something kinda comfortable about still following her routines as if the day before hadn't gone and upset a whole lot of dren. Was kinda unspoken after it had all been set up, certain days were just spent getting up earlier than normal, leaving the Tide while trying not to wake Vittand going and meeting Inyos at one of the Stratobucks for some wake up juice and a bit of chitchat sometimes veering into philosophy before they mosied over to the Temple place they'd found and either did some restoring work or Force stuff or the more typical mishmosh of the two. Okay yeah, this morning was a bit different on account of it not being exactly straight forward on the not waking Vitt part, but even that had been kinda nice what with the way he'd kinda tried to keep her from leaving and she'd been mighty tempted to stay - not for any untoward reasons, they weren't quite there yet - was just kinda nice to feel wanted, even if it was just sharing space with them.

Things with Inyos were probably gonna be a bit different as well, Sadie expected. He hadn't exactly seemed upset over the whole thing, pretty much the gorram opposite really. But that'd been yesterday and now he'd gone and had a night to let it all sink in proper like. He had a kid. And that kid of all folks were her. Sadie weren't so down on herself into not realizing that he could have done a whole frakton worse with that revelation, but honest bit was he could have better too. She weren't exactly the poster child for... Well... Being a child. Not to mention how this went and threw all sorts of muck in the gears of the whole Padawan thing. Was this sort of thing even allowed? Not that Sadie felt either one of them cared much if it weren't exactly in line with whatever rules the Jedi had set up but she didn't exactly want to go making things a problem for Inyos, neither.

One frakkin' thing at a time, Sid. That was the promise she'd made herself 'bout near enough everything as of late. Just take it in stride and work through it. Most important bit of that was remembering the fact that she didn't have to go it alone, even if that were the usual cozy option.

So there was Inyos then, same as always, except he'd beaten her to the line and done her a favor there. She mumbled a not-entirely awake thanks before taking the offered beverage, letting herself go and enjoy that feeling of just having a warm drink in your hands before taking that first sip. Sip turned into a bit of a longer drink as she gave him a bit of a thumbs up in approval.

Routine kinda halted there though as Sadie was forced to take one of them mental pauses while looking at Inyos. Weren't just her Jedi friend remembering how she liked her caf, not anymore anyhow. Judging by the kinda uncomfortable way Inyos was looking, it didn't just mean that to him no more either.

"Thanks, it's damn near perfect."

She winced a little at how easily her less than proper assessment just rolled off the tongue. Not that Sadie had a care for how others thought of her when she spoke, but this was kinda her father and that made it different probably a bit more than it should have. It weren't like they were different themselves, was it?

They kinda stood there awkward like for a tick or two before Sadie finally had the nerve to take a seat at the table they always seemed to snag. Part of her wanted to just run right in to askin' what was on the plans for the day like usual, but the rest hovered kinda on an edge of uncertain munk that was edging too close to ruining her calm.

"So... Y' okay?"

[Inyos Aamoran]

Near perfect. Not actually perfect, but near. Inyos silently rebuked himself for not having paid closer attention to the creamer ratio, or the quantity of sugar involved. Perhaps near perfect was satisfactory. Perhaps it was good enough for a first time. But today, just as at the Temple in his youth, the frustration of an imperfect first attempt turned inwards. He should have studied harder. Been better.

Inyos focused his eyes on the concoction of blended cream, ice, and flavour, a cavity appearing within the indulgent mound of semi-fluids as the straw delivered the first dosage inyo his mouth. His eyes shifted upwards as Sadie asked her question. Was he okay? Okay? Was space cold? Was water wet? It was like asking a man staring at his freshly severed hand if it was painful: a rhetorical understatement of galactic proportions. He had half a mind to keep the answer non-verbal, to flood a fraction of the ocean of feeling he'd discovered beneath his icy exterior; but if such an unsolicited display weren't questionable enough, Inyos wasn't sure he'd be able to stop; wasn't sure the floodgates could be closed on emotions that potent.

He finished his sip, straw audibly sucking in the last ambient moisture until the Nimbus cave contained nothing but chilled air. A shift of the drinking conduit collapsed it, fresh cream and ice flowing into the void in anticipation of continued drinking.

"I am -" he said, freeing his mouth from the straw.

It had been meant as a single, stand alone statement, but it did not end that way. His voice urged him to say more, statement hanging unfinished in a contemplative silence. What word though correctly described this? What word adequately described his change of fortune, or explained the blissful sleeplessness, or would help Sadie understand how lucky, how privileged, how overjoyed, how scared, how confused, and how lost he felt, all at once? Words failed. Introspection failed. There was no defining it, no explaining it, and no understanding it: it simply was. He had a daughter. Saidra was his daughter. What word could do justice to that?

"- happy."

It was the purest, simplest adjective he could think of to capture the warmth and contentment his heart felt, as if for the first time the clouds had parted and the sun could finally shine.

"Happier, I think, than I have ever been."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie tried not to go making a habit of guessing how other people were feeling when it came to complicated matters. Felt like a downright invasion of privacy on a level; still, didn't stop the wayward brain from taking bets at times. Would of lost on this one though, she'd been hedging on overwhelmed or confused or something that weren't quite positive or negative. Happy though? She figured that might of gone and worn off by now, at least.

"Happy's good."

Awkward as the conversation was going, it was truth. Sadie figured the galaxy and gone and done it's downright best at putting Inyos through the wringer, 'bout time it's latest scheme didn't hash out. Or maybe it had, seeking some sort of balance or whatnot. Maybe that's what this all was about, after all; odds evening out, folks getting a break for a change. Didn't quit feel like it, though; felt more like one of them calm before the storm things.

Whatever. Let the storm come. So long as it didn't come by the way of a caf shortage, Sadie was pretty sure they'd weather it all just fine.

"Pretty sure I'm on th' same ship with that." She paused and drew her finger over the edge of the lid on her drink. "Just, bit muddled, I think. Though, guessin' y' could tell that."

Sadie had gotten the general gist that Force Users weren't exactly mind readers, just real good at intentions and emotions and the like... well, at least in knowin' - understandin' was another matter.

"Sorry 'bout that, by th' way. Don't mean t' go an' broadcast on Jedi radio that loud."

[Inyos Aamoran]

Inyos let out a faint breath of laughter; not amused by Sadie's situation, but by her choice of words.

"Jedi radio," he echoed, trying the term out for size. It made sense, in an oddly technical way. In the same way that a starship could beam out transmissions in the clear, there to be picked up on by any other ship with appropriate systems, so too could people's thoughts and emotions be broadcast openly and unthinkingly in a way that those sensitive to the Force could perceive. By the same token, just as military craft could be equipped to scramble their transmissions, or encode them, or broadcast them covertly, so too could a mind be trained to modify their thoughts and emotions in the same way. For someone like Inyos, years of training had made it almost second nature to keep those transmissions on a secure channel, only the loudest and strongest thoughts and feelings leaking through against his will. It had been a talent of his, a skill at which he had been particularly skilled at the Jedi Temple. Idly, he wondered if the same easy proficiency would come to his Padawan.

His Daughter. He fought the urge to smile as he corrected himself on that point again. Much as he wished to be comfortable around Saidra, and for her to be comfortable around him, a part of him hoped that the sunrise realisation of that truth would never dim.

Another long drag was taken through the straw of his Nimbus Crush, and time was afforded to let the flavour linger on his tongue, even as the coolness worked its way through his body. It was welcome and refreshing, down here on the lower levels of Cloud City. Less attention had been paid over the centuries to maintaining and upgrading the atmosphere systems down here. In these deeper levels, where industry, and shipping, and non-humans thrived, the crisp and comfortable coolness of the civilized upper levels gave way to the steam, sweat, and humidity that came from so much activity and so many alien bodies swarming away, day in and day out. You became accustomed to it over time, and Inyos was able to exercise enough subtle control of the Force to regulate his temperature without any ungainly perspiration, but an occasional refreshment was always welcome.

Inyos wondered if this was why the clubs, casinos, and drinking establishments down here were so popular. It was in the best interests of the proprietors to keep their clientele comfortable; perhaps Cloud City's gambling and drinking addictions were all a byproduct of sentient beings trying to keep themselves cool.

"Perhaps that should be the focus of our next training session."

Inyos faltered for a moment, a sickening clench wrapping itself around his chest, the question that had been plaguing the back of his mind rising from the mist like a flock of rawwks in the clouds outside. The straw left his mouth, but his eyes remained focused on the beverage, his voice oddly soft and quiet.

"If you wish to continue with your training, that is. I -"

He stumbled, eyes rising to hers, a barely perceptible twitch of his head and shoulder shrugging out an apology.

"I realise now that you accepted me as your Master under false pretences. I would understand if -"

His eyes fell away again.

"If you wished to discontinue our arrangement, now that you know how badly I have failed you in the past."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie shook her head as she took in more of the wake up juice and raised a finger to tell Inyos to halt that speeder of thought right then and there until she could get to speaking again.

"Can't fail at somethin' y' didn't know were bein' tested on," she countered. A small beat passed before her brain caught up with what she said and Sadie found herself cringing at little at the phrasing. "Well, I mean, y' can, but y'know... not knowin' the full rules an' breakin' 'em an'..."

She waved her hand like trying to swat something away and let out a breath of annoyed air. "Lemme try again. What 'm tryin' t' say is... Y' didn't fail nothin' since y' knew nothin' and couldn't exactly go an' have the option of not failin'. Elira never went an' told y'. I'd say usually that ignorance ain't an excuse but here? It's just... different. Y' got nothin' t' be sorry for an' as far as both of us knew there weren't no false nothin' in me sayin' yes t' this whole trainin' thing."

It felt like a mouthful of jibberish when she went and put it that way. Nerves were getting the better of her, that was for certain. He'd done and gone asked a pretty straight forward question - even if it was all emotionally heavy - and she really should get to giving a straight answer.

"New info or not, it don't change th' fact that I need this kinda help an' it don't change th' fact that y're like... th' only Jedi alive that I trust t' do it without judin' me. If anythin, th' whole dad thing pro'lly makes y' more qualified, yeah?"

[Inyos Aamoran]

It was a strange feeling, to be told you were needed. For a moment, Inyos wondered if it was the first time it had ever been said to him. He'd been told many times what he needed to do, but that had been about duty, his obligations to the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic, or what was required in order to stay alive amid the Jedi Purge. Amidst it all, Inyos Aamoran's function and existence had never been unique. There were always more Jedi, always more Commanders for the Republic's clone army. As a fugitive, numbers were a detriment; an argument could have been made that people back then had been better off without him than with, although the last two days had him wondering if Elira Asael might have some words of protest in that regard.

This, though? Whether it was accurate or not, the fact that he was the only Jedi alive that Saidra could turn to, unique in his status as able to help and able to be trusted? Perhaps this feeling of worth, of value, was something that ordinary citizens of the galaxy experienced often, but for Inyos the feeling was something quite new.

Inyos wasn't sure where the smile that formed came from. Was it a reaction to Sadie's words? Some sort of bashful embarrassment at the way those words made him feel? A separate mild amusement that accompanied the joking response that formed in his own mind? An impulsive reaction to hearing the word dad apply to him? Inyos wasn't sure; and he wasn't sure it mattered. Normally he would have attempted to restrain it, but today he let it flourish.

"I don't know that the Jedi Order from my day would agree with you on that," Inyos countered, but the words offered no sense of criticism towards Sadie's suggestion. "A few Corellian exceptions aside, the Jedi Council I remember seemed to think that if a Jedi fell in love, or started a family, it would probably doom us all and bring the entire galaxy to ruin."

The thought lingered for a moment. From the accounts he'd read of the history he missed while on Ord Ithil, some might argue that such a belief had been proven valid. It didn't take an expert mathematician to count backwards from Luke Skywalker's age, and realise that the son of Anakin Skywalker had been born almost exactly as the Jedi Order fell. On the other hand, the son of Skywalker had been the instrument by which Palpatine had been foiled and defeated; an act that brought justice for the Jedi, rather than their destruction.

"Sitting here now though, with you, I -"

Inyos' voice faltered. His brow furrowed, unsure of the words that danced across his tongue.

"I know the Council was wrong. I have followed its edicts and its principles my entire life, and as a result I have missed the entirety of yours, thus far. I have not earned the right to ask anything of you, and I will not, but -"

He reached out, slow and hesitant, his hands settling gently around Sadie's as they nursed her caf.

"For as long as you have need of me, I will endeavour to be here."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Was tough, y'know? Trying to figure out the right things to say to make sure that they were all handling this how they should be or in whatever ways was best for them. Weren't exactly like she had a clue how to go about and be someone's kid, either. Seemed like all the decent holomovies or novels focused on orphans and Sadie'd taken a bit of pride from that in her younger days when the issue was still irksome. Was weird to have gotten to a point where you had full peace of it all and then suddenly - whammo! - Parent City. Weren't quite like learning how to be yourself all over again or nothing laserbrained like that but still it was different. As much as Sadie wanted things to go and stay the same, she just as bad wanted change from it all. What was the point in finding out new things if nothing came from it?

At least things with Inyos seemed easy. Maybe not full ease or nothing so simple as that, the Jedi was her gorram father for Force sake. But him saying he was gonna stick around? Him saying that this was a good thing? Yeah, that helped quite a bit.

"So, where we go from here? Jus' carry on like we have been? I guess as far as Force stuff goes..." Sadie let her voice trail off as she looked down to where Inyos has rested his hands atop hers. She was itching for another sip of caff but didn't have the heart to move him.

"I mean, I guess back when y' was just m' teacher kinda deal, I didn't feel much need t' go 'bout spoutin' th' life story or none of that, but honest? Feelin' like there's a discrepancy goin' on here. I know 'bout y' an' y're troubles but... I ain't never really asked if y' had any questions for me."

[Inyos Aamoran]

She hadn't pulled away. She'd thought about it, but hadn't. It felt like an intrusion, being able to know about such a thing. It felt like a cheat, an unfair exploit of his abilities and hers, something other fathers and other daughters didn't get to benefit from. But if them being here in this place, brought together by happenstance to be a family again, was truly the will of the Force? Then perhaps this was, too. Perhaps she had become his Padawan to help him know how to be the right kind of father; and if that meant stealing a glimpse at an emotion or two, he hoped that Sadie would be able to understand and forgive him.

"I know everything I need to."

It shouldn't have been a hard thing to say, and it wasn't. The hard part was looking at her while he said it. Just as she had, he felt his attention drawn to the vicinity of her caf. It would have been easier to tell their hands what he thought and felt; easier to look down and away as the words tumbled from him. He forced himself not to. Mustered his courage. Aimed his vision towards hers, feeling as if he had found a mirror when his own eyes looked back at him.

"My daughter is smart, and strong. When she had nothing but adversity, she didn't just endure: she built a life, a reputation, and a family all of her own. I have seen the way that everyone who knows her cares for her. I have seen her risk herself, and everything she has, to save someone that she never knew. I have felt the ease and grace with which she calls upon the Force. I have seen her learn in weeks what I could not in years."

A new kind of smile formed on his lips, one that felt so natural and so comfortable there that perhaps it might never leave.

"I knew all I needed to before I knew I was her father. I was proud when she was my Padawan, but I am prouder still that she is my daughter. Her past is hers, to share with me if she wishes, but -"

An impulse took over, a stray strand of hair escaped from it's place, a wire-thin defect obscuring the tiniest portion of her face. Inyos reached out, the Force gently teasing the errant strand back into place, the slightest contact from the heel of his hand brushing against her cheek.

"I care only for her future: that which I am lucky to be even the smallest part of."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie didn't quite go and shy away from the contact but it felt weird, you know? Even if it were slight, weren't really something she was used to. Oh sure, Vitt was more than helping that whole thing along, but he was careful too. Was like everyone somehow thought she'd go and shatter at the slightest touch and maybe in a way that were true. She'd gotten downright uncomfortable with random strangers bumping into her and the like, which was all sorts of annoying considering it didn't used to be an issue but now it was making itself one. Just another thing to thank Bog'el for. Still, there was a difference between that sort of thing and this. This, this she honest to goodness weren't familiar with in the long run of her short life. And it weren't bad, just... Weird.

Same went for the compliments. Those Sadie weren't quite as strangers with, but she never knew how to take them. Whether it was just some guy commenting that she was pretty, to some fellow musician saying he liked her work, to that one article that'd happened in a holomag about the band and they'd singled her out with some sort of praise that Sadie hadn't been quite able to go and read all the way through. The fact that Inyos was sincere with them made 'em all the harder to try and process. Felt like her brain was throwing up all kinds of signs; error, error, file-type to process these emotions not found.

Okay, it weren't that bad, but mighty close and all that she could go and muster out was a shy, "Thanks."

She let her eyes roam a bit, off to the side to not quite people watch, back to her cup of caf... All as her mind was working over everything. A nod of her head came with some sort of internal understanding, or at least an agreement with herself that she weren't gonna let this go and get any more awkward.

"It's good, y' know? Th' whole future thing. Been tryin' t' keep my mind there or y'know all present like. Past is th' past an' all that. In folks like us' case, think that's th' sort of thing that's even more important. Not forgettin' it or pretendin' stuff didn't happen or nothin' like that but y'know, not dwellin' neither." She paused a bit and let out a small nervous laugh. "Guess too much has gone an' changed."

Sadie looked back up toward Inyos, not quite forcing the half smile that went and planted itself on her. "So, what's say we settle things up here an' get t' seein' what it's gonna be like t' have y' teach y'r kid?"

[Inyos Aamoran]

* * *

The abandoned Enclave on Bespin was different now. Perhaps it was the fact that over the course of recent weeks, it had become increasingly less abandoned.

Between training sessions, Sadie and Inyos had worked on restoring systems and functionality; and the Exchange, or Elysian Acquisitions, or whichever name he was supposed to use to describe Emelie Shadowstar and her associates in this capacity had been more than happy to provide assistance. The Enclave's dark corners had been driven out by construction lamps, powered at first by portable generators but now plumbed into the platform's main reactor thanks to Nen Lev'i. The entrance had been modified, no longer requiring Force sensitivity to open; there was even talk of acquiring and rigging up an atmosphere shield, so that the entire landing bay did not need to be vacated and repressurised every time a ship arrived or departed. Miss Shadowstar had even acquired a more discrete mode of transit: a vintage Star Commuter 2000, ostensibly to allow Elysian to run facility tours of a disused Tibanna platform that Miss Shadowstar planned to convert into a brewery - quite the business empire she seemed to be building.

Such contributions and assistance didn't come without a price, of course. Living up to their chosen identity, the Exchange had traded their assistance for the opportunity to make use of the platform, storing cargo and contraband that they could not - or should not - bring into Cloud City itself. It was a situation that left Inyos feeling conflicted. He had no aversion to the less-than-legal activities that the Exchange chose to involve itself in: that was a stigma he had learned to overcome in his days aboard the Maelibius, and that his daughter's life as a slicer had permanently absolved him of. That said, it was one thing to be tolerant of the kind of subversive criminal exploits that had helped him survive the Jedi Purge, and another to be comfortable letting those activities bleed into what was supposed to be something of a sacred space for the Jedi.

But then, how much of a Jedi was Inyos these days? The Order was gone, and he had Fallen, sired a daughter, and continued to struggle with feelings that a Jedi should not feel. One stance was that as a Jedi, he should stop himself from feeling such things; but something fundamental at his core insisted such a thing was not an option. The alternative was unsettling: in order to continue feeling what he was feeling, did that mean he would have to stop being a Jedi? That was daunting, though logical; but it left the aching question of what he would be if he abandoned that which he had spent a lifetime being defined by.

Inyos drew in a breath, and released it slowly.

"Try and clear your mind," he explained, taking his own advice as he guided Saidra through the meditation technique. He did not recall his knees and joints aching quite as much from being seated in this position; a sign of age that he allowed the Force to carry away like dust in a wisp of breeze. "Whatever you are thinking, or feeling, can only be perceived by others if you allow it to be there. Do not bury it, or try to resist: simply allow the thoughts to be gone."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Meditating weren't something that Sadie was entirely oblivious about, even before she'd started this whole Jedi teaching shenanigans. Helped stop the rush of thoughts that tried to come on in the middle of the night, or helped keep your head focused and sharp when you needed to outrun a fellow slicer through a database. Even that whole ordeal with the damned giant lizards and their death sphere had needed a bit of slow breathing and mindfulness or whatever you wanted to call it.

The concept was a whole hell of a lot easier when you were doing something, though. Was a fair assessment to say that Sadie went into some sort of kind of meditative trance when she was fully engaged in digging through coding and the like but to sit and just have nothing in your head? That was something Sadie hadn't gone and quite mastered.

So here she was, sitting in a pretty plain room with her - dad, not just teacher, Sadie went and reminded herself - with eyes closed trying to think about nothing while thinking about thinking about nothing and scolding herself every single time a stray thought about damn near everything else went and popped it's ugly little head into what was supposed to be her blank mind.

"Gotta admit, ain't quite working. How 'm I s'posed t', y' know... not have any thoughts linger 'bout?"

[Inyos Aamoran]

The faintest of smiles tugged at the corner of Inyos' mouth. The accent and vernacular aside, it could easily have been a question uttered by his younger self. Inyos had been a constant source of frustration to his masters as a Youngling, not because he refused to obey or because he struggled to understand, but because he constantly asked why, or how, or some other inquiry that reached far beyond the scope of what the Jedi were willing to teach. Every response was a non-answer. He didn't need to know that. He would learn that in time. His Master would teach him that, if he concentrated on his studies and managed to become a Padawan. The responses had always left Inyos unsatisfied, and it was those questions that had led him to the Jedi Archives, to studying the teachings of Master Ari'ana and others in search of wisdom that might spark some understanding in him on such things.

"Whatever you do, don't think of Mynocks."

Inyos' mind wandered as those words tumbled from his lips, drifting back to his days at the Temple. He didn't resist the smile that formed as he realised the scope of what was happening: here he was, alone with his daughter, about to share a story from his past that had become part of the foundation of the man he'd become, all thanks to those seven words - and Mandan kriffing Hidatsa.

"When I was a Youngling at the Jedi Temple, from time to time the various Jedi Masters would spend time with us, evaluating our progress and imparting the wisdom that they felt we needed. One of these times, I was invited to meditate with Master Yoda, one of the most wise and powerful members of the Jedi Order, and someone I respected immensely. I was so very nervous, pacing backwards and forwards in the hallway outside the meditation chambers. My mind was so loud, filled with so many questions, so many things I wanted to implore Master Yoda to explain; but I knew I shouldn't ask. That wasn't the purpose of the exercise. It was not for me to ask, but for Master Yoda to offer."

A soft chuckle, barely more than a breath, crept from Inyos' lungs.

"A few moments before, Mandan Hidatsa found me waiting. We barely knew each other then, we weren't even part of the same clan of Younglings; but Mandan always had an empathy, and a connection to people. He came over to me, and whispered those words in my ear - Whatever you do, don't think of Mynocks - and then walked away. The words confused me at first, but as I sat there in the meditation chamber, trying my hardest to quiet my mind, I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop myself hearing the shrieks of Mynocks, the flapping of their wings. At first I thought it was a cruel trick, some prank being played on me out of cruelty; but as soon as Master Yoda realised what was happening, he just laughed, and gave me two pieces of advice that I still remember to this day."

Inyos faltered, stopping himself before he uttered the words verbatum. Poignant as Master Yoda's wisdom was, his strange way of phrasing language would have clouded the lesson here with questions that Sadie didn't need to contemplate right now. He paraphrased instead.

"The first advice was that Mandan's actions were those of a friend; that friendship was a rare gift; and that I -" Inyos faltered slightly, but powered through the constrictive feeling that formed around his chest. "- should strive never to lose that. The Force is, at it's core, the innate connection between all things: and instances where that connection between two people grows stronger is something that should be cherished and treasured, because from those connections can come great strength."

Another moment of hesitation passed before Inyos committed to his impulse: a hand reached out, settling atop Sadie's, his eyes making contact with hers and imploring her to hear those words again and understand the new significance that Inyos had discovered within them. The warmth of his smile grew, not the giddy height of joy or mirth, but instead the persistent warmth of pure contentment.

"The other," he continued, not looking away, "Was that Mandan had taught me an important lesson. A quiet mind does not have to be an empty mind. Thinking of Mynocks quietened all the other thoughts from my mind, and that was a first step. The next step, he explained, was to focus on something simpler, something that would not be a distraction. He told me that since the Force is always there, speaking quietly to us, our minds can never truly be empty, so we should not strive to make them so."

Slowly, and with some reluctance, he drew his hand away.

"Focus on the Force, on what it is, on how it feels, and let that concept take dominance over everything else in your mind."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie was starting to reckon that it was a downright damn shame she hadn't gotten to know Mandan better. Of the two Jedi who she had first come across, he'd certainly seemed the more lighthearted of the two, the one willing to make jokes despite the rough situation they were all finding themselves. She didn't remember a whole ton about him aside from that and the way he'd looked. Still, was more than enough to leave an impression, much like his counterpart. Probably wasn't the best time to let her mind go wandering but the thought of what it would have been like if Mandan was still about brought a bit of a smile to her, if nothing else than the teasing that no doubt would have come from this whole Inyos actually had a kid thing.

Was with a bit of reluctance and all thanks to her self discipline that Sadie brought herself all fully back to the room and the task at hand. Right, so Mynocks... or not Mynocks as the case were. So don't think about nothin' but think about something specific rather. That something specific was apparently gonna be The Force and all.

Much like the concept of meditating, the whole deal with The Force weren't a complete blank with her. But much like the one, she'd had to go and figure it all out on her onsies. Oh sure, Sadie had heard about how it was supposed to be, but that was stories and probably all sorts of different than reality - after all, it weren't like there was an over abundance of folks willing to speak out about how they experienced The Force or nothing like that.

Putting her own experiences with it into words or thoughts though was... well not impossible, but improbable sounded about right. To Sadie it was just there. It helped her get things done faster both physically and mentally. She could use it sometimes to move stuff but that was a whole other matter and she never quite knew exactly what the frak went on when that happened.

"I ain't sure on that, either." She went and admitted, the soft smile that'd been lingering fading into a bit of a purse of her lips as confusion settled in with the admission. "Never really found a way t' right proper explain or think o' it. Didn't even know that's what it was I was doin' f'r a long time 'til I went and made somethin' move without touchin' it an' that... well, that don't go an' happen all th' time. Just kinda thought I was... I guess a bit quicker thinkin' than most folks."

[Inyos Aamoran]

Inyos' smile grew warmer, the swell of sentiment in his chest utterly refusing to be restrained, as yet another discovery of likeness with his daughter was unveiled towards him.

"That was how it began with me, as well," he explained, a strange eagerness creeping into his words, shifting his posture to lean forward as if somehow his words could be more earnestly conveyed if they were uttered a few inches closer. "The Jedi talk about the Force as an unseen field of energy, as life force, as emotion and auras. To some, perhaps that kind of understanding comes naturally, but to me it was always a struggle. The Force was something that came to help me when I needed it, it helped me move when I needed, helped me read faster and notice better; but at first I could never understand how to ask the Force for help, it just came and did, seemingly when it felt like it."

Inyos drew in a breath, and squared his shoulders. "It finally made sense to me when one of the Jedi Masters explained what the point of a metaphor was. The reason we are taught to think of the Force as energy, or emotion, as a web, or a weave, is because for some, for many, that analogy works. If you are unable to understand the Force in such a way, that is not your failure as a Jedi: it is the failure of the metaphor, and you must seek another. And so I read and studied old teachings, looking for ways that others described the Force, searching for a metaphor that worked for me. One lesson I read compared the Force to the wind: something unseen, but something you can know exists because of the effects you witness. I began to think of the Force in that way: as a movement of air, as the breath from my lungs, and the lungs of others; as not a substance, but as a result of the actions and effects of other things. I do not need to know why the wind blows, I just need to accept that it does, and that is enough."

A faint frown tugged at the corner of Inyos' brow, but the smile returned undiminished as the dislodged memory took form in his mind.

"There is something I do remember from my studies that might be useful to you. It was written by a Jedi named Count Ra's Ath-Thu'ban - an Alderaani ancestor of yours from a few thousand years ago, if I understand correctly. He was not a typical Jedi. He loved technology, and he understood the world not in terms of mysticism and spirituality, but in terms of science and tangible concepts. In one of his journals, he described the Force as the base code of the cosmos. He compared it to programming, an endless string of numbers and symbols that seem incomprehensible at first; but with time and understanding you begin to recognise patterns, you learn that certain symbols mean certain things, and he spoke of manipulating the Force the way that a slicer manipulates code. You find the Force code for what you are interested in, and you tweak it, change it, until it is rewritten to function as you need it to."

Inyos let the words hang in the air for a moment, watching Sadie's eyes as she processed the examples that he had provided.

"Try focusing on a screen of random computer code, and see if the Force begins to speak to you. See if you start feeling any patterns."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Was comforting sorta to hear that she weren't the only one who had issues, or that she wasn't the first in her family to go and have some sort of natural drawing towards tech. Course, Ra's - if she understood right - lived a damn sight longer ago than Sadie could right properly comprehend on a comfortable level. She knew most folks took comfort in their ancestors and similarities and such with them, so why shouldn't she? Was a new layer of things, that was for sure. The concept of having any sort of family history at all was still a verging concept and the fact it could go and actually teach her things from generations ago was a mighty big deal.

She liked it, though. The Force as the code that compounded together and made the 'verse as she knew it. Reminded her a bit of a holofilm she'd seen once where everyone's reality was just some giant computer program. Sadie remembered how it unnerved some people, but to her it'd seemed a comforting thought. It was just like Inyos had said her ancestor had thought of, if the 'verse were code then it was good thing she was one frakkin' void of a slicer.

Putting the thought into actual sort of impression when she closed her eyes again though, was another matter. She weren't quite sure where to start. Yeah, you could think of something some way but that didn't mean you felt it. But a person had to start somewhere and it was about damned time she got with the understanding of what she'd been making use of for the better part of her life.

So she set about visualizing it like Inyos suggested, though not quite a screen so much as re-visualizing the space around her, the things around her, as made up of code. Complex stuff for herself and Inyos, lesser stuff for the walls. She let that visualization keep going, building layers upon layers. The more she thought about it the more it seemed easier to visualize everything, the bits and pieces of the temple she only had seen in passing but now came to her in all kinds of glorious detail. Sadie felt pretty damn confident she could have gone all the way back to building this little world of hers in her head to include even Cloud City and it's inhabitants but it felt like she was stretching herself too far, using too much processing power and memory and was risking one hells of a crash.

Reigning herself back in weren't exactly what Sadie wanted to do but she angled herself back in on the mishmash of numbers and letters that made up the room they were in and she kind of found herself a might bit surprised to see that she could almost see when Inyos was breathing, see changes in his code that suggested a shift in emotion, perhaps the perception of what she was doing.

"Either I got one mighty big imagination, or I think 'm gettin' it." Sadie let out a breath of of a laugh, not quite sure whether to be proud of what she'd maybe accomplished or embarrassed at only thinking she did.

[Inyos Aamoran]

While Sadie might have questioned whether she should feel proud, Inyos had no such indecision. As Sadie worked to expand her mind, Inyos watched, contemplating the ebb and flow of the Force around her. When the two of them had first been drawn together on Cloud City, he had felt the Force tugging in her direction, an intermittent gust that urged him along the path that the Force had chosen for him. Since learning of their connection however, the winds of the Force had changed, and Inyos now felt a constant breeze gently blowing towards her at all times. Whether it was the Force's doing or his own, Inyos neither knew or cared: just so long as it remained; just so long as there was no chance he'd be able to lose her again.

Here on the station, in such close proximity to her, the breeze had died down, swirling around her ankles like the kind of playful wind that sent autumn leaves tumbling across the ground. The more Sadie's focus extended however, the wind's pace quickened and spiralled higher, a dust devil of force potential stretching upwards to engulf her completely. Inyos knew how the feeling would change and evolve over time: he remembered feeling tornados surrounding his fellow knights as they waged their way through the Clone Wars; the hurricane slowly swirling in the sky above the Jedi Temple back home; the typhoon that had engulfed him on the days that Lúka and Mandan had died. His mind strayed from perception into imagination, wondering at the kind of storm that would result if father and daughter stood side by side channeling the Force together.

Inyos' thoughts returned to the now, eyes opening as Sadie spoke. For a moment he paused and frowned, a hand rising to remove a single droplet of rain from his cheek.

"The advantage with the Force," he said, his smile returning once again, "Is that those two options are not mutually exclusive. The Force is capable of incredible things, and the only limiting factor is what you can imagine."

They were straying though, from the lesson that Sadie had requested of him. Fundementals such as this were important, but this was not the Jedi Temple, and Saidra was not some infant learning about the Force for the sheer philosophy of it. With the galaxy as it was, the practicalities of using the Force were the most pressing, and opening oneself to the will of the cosmos was a far cry from the kind of mental restraint and privacy that Sadie sought.

"If that notion of the Force works for you, let us remain with it and take the next step. If the cosmos is code, then your thoughts are data. You know how to restrict access to that, and how to control the way it is transmitted. Picture something in your mind: a colour, a place, an animal, a song. Think of how it made you feel, and then try to encrypt that feeling. Start by restricting access completely, and then when you feel confident that your feelings are secure, try to create a password so those feelings can be shared only with me."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sure it made sense, but Sadie couldn't help but go and think that it wouldn't just go and be as easy as all that. Yeah, she'd done pretty damn okay with making visuals and connecting the two together, but trying to encrypt a thought or something that was, well, still in her gorram head? Using The Force to do that? Was a hard thing to accept that she could possibly even do let alone go and make an attempt at it.

Still, Inyos sounded all rightly secure that it'd work for her, or at the least it was worth a spell. That was sorta the nice thing about actually having a teacher rather than the whole self-learning bit she'd relied on since... forever. Wasn't just someone else telling you what to do, but believing you actually could rightly go and make it happen. Yeah, sure, relying or even really considering on the opinions of others was something Sadie was still having to go and get used to, but it was nice, savvy?

Either way, Inyos had offered up a suggestion and as far as Sadie knew of The Force and all, well... it was probably best to give what the actual Jedi said an honest to gods try.

The somewhat quizzical - downright dumbfounded if she was more honest - look on her face left as her eyes moved away from him to the floor, off to the side a bit as she mulled it all over and then finally they were hidden behind her eyelids and she entered back to the blackness. Ok, so... time to start with the making of everything code again. Was easier the second time around, though still felt a might bit odd to picture the entirety of everything that way.

Right. Refocus, laser-brain.

Back to the room, back to just her and him and whatever the heck it was she wanted to decide on trying to keep a secret. Inyos had a few things she may try there too but only one stuck out: A song. As much as code and the holonet was her life, music was always in her, always a part of her. There'd been a bit of a thing she'd been working on lately, something that kept coming to the forefront of her head. Was just a chorus and a few chords at this point but seeing as how it had come about after all the dren with Bog and since she'd come to Cloud City it seemed somehow more personal. Maybe it was the fact of knowing it'd never make it out of her own self off to a recorded bit of album and performed before folks who'd interpret it however they wanted.

So, song it was. Them cherished little bits she'd pieced together. They played smooth through her mind, edging into the bits of what comes next. Was so loud and clear that Sadie easily could have picked up a quetarra and made it real into the verse then and there. Her head could have been one giant radio as far as she was concerned with how much she felt it, how much it was a part of her and how it played through her.

But no, that weren't the purpose here. Now was the time to keep it close to her chest, keep it just for herself. Encrypt as Inyos put it. Was downright awful thinking of something that felt so alive within her as something so cold as just data, but it was the gorram honest truth, weren't it? Yes. Okay, one step at a damn time then. Keep it safe like first. Lock the thing away so no one could get to it.

Sadie knew her face was making all sorts of strange looking sorts of things happen as she tried to think of how to lock it all up inside despite the song wanting to spring forth and be heard. It was hers after all, not ready for anyone else to hear and judge. Not that she figured Inyos was the type to go and-

Stop makin' sense where there ain't none.

Right. Encryption. Felt... odd... converting notes to something only she knew how to decipher, working to make it jibberish that anyone listening in might come across. Still, it was there. Not just simple substitution, but a right proper way of making sure no one could ever decipher what was truly playing in her mind. Was a right proper bit of visualization that had to go and make it happen, and Sadie weren't sure how long it was taking - but that didn't matter.

She didn't know how to go about managing the whole password thing, but that was step two. Best to make sure she had step one down right and proper.

Her eyes went and opened and slowly her slightly blurred vision went and focused itself on her teacher. Nothing verbal left her, just a look of wondering if she'd fraked right up and botched stage one.

[Inyos Aamoran]

As Sadie focused her efforts on barricading her mind, Inyos turned his mind elsewhere, respectful of the privacy of her thoughts as she arranged her defenses. He reached out beyond the confines of the floating Enclave, for a moment letting Sadie fall away from the scope of his perception, reaching out into the gusting swirls of cloud and gas that enveloped the hidden and abandoned sky platform. He felt for the shifting of the creatures he knew inhabited these skies; for beldons floating like islands amidst the gaseous sea; for velkers stalking beneath the surface clouds like sharks of the sky. He felt for the pockets of tibanna that had drawn civilization to Bespin, and for the cold metallic encroachment of other platforms and the airships speeding between them, stabbing into the gaseous tranquillity of the giant world like shards of shrapnel into flesh. His wandering thoughts stumbled across harmony: a flock of rawwks flying in formation around the jet stream of an air skiff, like pilot fish relying on a larger host to ward would-be predators away.

And then he heard it: a faint whisper on the wind, the softest hint of a distant melody. It drew him back like a siren call, tumbling back into the Enclave and into his own mind, back to the present where he struggled not to hear the muffled notes of music played ever so slightly too loud on the other side of an apartment wall. It wasn't just music, either. For a fleeting moment, Inyos felt everything that came along with it: the joy, the peace, the sense of serene completion. He could perceive the wall that Sadie had built around herself, but he felt the music spilling over that dam, and felt it's soothing caress like the welcome kiss of summer rain on a scorching day.

An instant later the music was gone, Sadie's mind slamming closed to leave Inyos in stark silence. Even the wisps and whispers of the Force around him seemed to fall silent, as the gentle persistent connection he had felt with Sadie became stifled and sluggish, a struggled breath instead of a soothing breeze. The echo remained however, of the sensation and of the song. Disappointment cascaded in his wake, more at himself than at the absence. When Sadie had first become his Padawan, Atton Kira had provided him with a datafile: a collection of Saidra's body of musical work. At first he had thought it was merely the act of an old friend: someone who understood at least in part how important is was for a Jedi to know and understand their Padawan, offering access to the glimpses of Sadie's soul that she exposed through her music. Today, that act was one of many that needed to be reconsidered; one that was transformed by the knowledge of Atton's relationship to Sadie, and the truths that he had kept secret. Atton had wanted Sadie's father to know her, even without knowing; and like a fool, Inyos had forgotten that.

"I was wrong."

The Jedi's brow furrowed, pausing as his eyes blinked away their misted, shimmering vision. Now that he saw it, it could not have been more obvious. He should have known. A better father would have.

"You aren't your ancestor. You've only been Saidra Ath-Thu'ban for a day, but you have been Sadie K'Vesh for a whole lifetime: and while slicing may be her job, music is her life."

The smile that tugged at his features was bittersweet. His mind wandered back to the sound of those songs, to the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness, and the joy that every line conveyed. It had heart his heart to hear those feelings, and to know at least some of where they came from; but looking back now, the realisation that his absence was in large part to blame hurt his very soul.

"I have heard you play and sing, and even from a recording I feel every note, and every emotion. That is the Force: that understanding that lies beneath the simplicity of what is seen and said. Perhaps for you, the Force is a song. Perhaps it must be composed, not programmed."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

"Can't it be both?"

Sadie immediately felt bad that she'd done gone and let the question just pop out of her right then rather than being more thought over, thinking about what her challenging him could be taken as.

"I mean no real disrespect or nothin' an' I know there's a whole heap ton of folks that'd argue and disagree with me on it but I ain't never found much difference twixt th' two." Barely a breath was taken before she launched again, that creeping feeling of anxious nervousness that she was saying the wrong thing doing no good at helping to keep her mouth proper shut. "I mean, they ain't th' same, not really. More like Sabaac cards b'fore they shift."

Was a weird analogy, she guessed. But calling it two sides of the same credit chit weren't right either. The cards shifting unexpectedly in a game made more sense to her, felt more right. Notes were notes and put a bunch of them together in the proper order and you'd get a nice sounding melody. Code worked that way too, Os and Ones all strung together until you got something tidy like from 'em. And then there was the fact you could use one to make the other and...

Great, now that rambling thing had gone and made a cozy little place right in her head too. Yeah, no worries on picking anything sane out of her or comprehensive. Maybe that was more a key, just keep cramming everything into her head so no one would really tell what she was after.

That glum thought was left to wash down a drain that trickled down her spine and made Sadie's shoulders slump a might tad.

And then her eyes kinda widened and she looked up towards Inyos.

"That's it, though! Ain't it? Shiftin' th' cards! I mean... me, as a whole. Ain't like lockin' everythin' away really is it? It's more... changin' what's in plain sight? Distort the melody with static, encrypt the good stuff so all anyone gets is a dead screen? Not makin' nothin' go away just... changin' it."

She was sure she was wrong, but it made sense somehow. Even if only to her. That brief bit of epiphany faded though, just right 'bout as quick as she'd stumbled across it. With it, Sadie felt her face fall a bit back into that pursed lips off to the side deal she did when she was thinking too hard over something.

"But then... how do I go an' let specific folks see it?"

[Inyos Aamoran]

It was such a Mandan thing to say: to take the simple terms that Inyos was so fond of, and point out that life, that the real world, was always almost far more complicated. He would have loved this: would have loved watching Inyos come to terms with being both a Master and a father; having both a daughter and a Padawan. Beneath it all, Inyos functioned in simple terms, needing to define and understand everything, craving neatness and order. Mandan had always simply shrugged, and pointed out that no matter what labels or analogies or definitions you tried to apply to things, they were just going to keep on being what they were in spite of you. Inyos had voiced his frustration at Mandan's stance to his Master once, but to his deepening annoyance Andor Tyree had essentially agreed. Reality was vast, he had said. There was room for infinite diversity, in infinite combinations. In matters such as this, every answer, every definition, every interpretation could be the right one.

For a quiet moment, he considered her analogy, trying to understand her viewpoint in her terms. It was distracting, not because of any wrongness or confusion on Sadie's part, but because of what the analogy reminded him of. An old reflex awoke, urging him to push them aside; but he stopped himself. Elira was not the source of discomfort she once had been, and if Saidra's infinite combination was to include both Padawan and daughter at once, perhaps he needed to stop compartmentalizing himself as a singularity as well.

"I do not know much about cards," he admitted; at first the words came out in sage terms, as if it were the start of some deep insight into the universe. He carefully unraveled his voice, seeking something more conversational. "I couldn't even play Pazaak until your mother taught me. She found it amusing, proof that I really was the sort of Jedi who didn't have time for fun and games. She said that learning to play would help me, that I needed to lighten up, and learn how to be a normal person more. So I learned. Or I tried. Your mother was -"

A faint breath of laughter escaped from Inyos. At the time he had not found it nearly so amusing, but nostalgia had cast a strange new hue over so many of his memories from those days.

"I think your mother was more interested in watching me lose over and over. She reveled in my frustration quite often."

A soft sigh escaped him, wistful more than frustrated. His eyes had strayed, staring off into space; he steered them back to Sadie, warming his expression with a smile.

"The rest of the crew would play Sabaac from time to time. I did not take part at first: Elira said it was because I thought I was better than them, but in truth it was because I felt -" He trailed off, searching for the right word. "- not unwelcome; out of place, perhaps? Mandan became one of them swiftly, but I always struggled, always felt like I did not belong among the laughter, and the fondness. One day though, your mother insisted. She said that everyone could choose not to be alone, if only they were brave enough. That was -"

Inyos trailed off, more a reaction to the unexpected swell of emotions that crept up on him, rather than a deliberate choice to spare his daughter from any elaboration on the circumstance of her conception. He frowned, a surprising amount of effort taken to compose himself.

"Regardless, I joined the crew for Sabaac, and I was singularly terrible. They taught me as we played, and I attempted to do as they explained, but every time I attempted to bluff to gain the upper hand, they saw through my efforts. Quin-Tain said that I had what he called a tell. He said that without meaning to, without wanting to, I somehow revealed to all of them what I was thinking. It was not something that occurred to me at the time, but perhaps your problem and my problem are the same: we need to learn how to control our tell, so others cannot know what cards we are holding."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie couldn't help but go and laugh a little at it. Not entirely at the whole thing of her mum picking on Inyos - though that was certainly a bit of it. More of them both having tells and folks knew damn well what they were. Was something understandable, on a basic damn level instead of a Force user one.

She'd gotten damn good at hiding stuff from folks, recent so more than anything else, but there were still some who could see right through her no matter how hard she tried. Okay, so the number of folks she was aware of that had that ability was a resounding two; and one of them she didn't mind so much if he knew things she was trying to not let on about but the other? Well, trying to keep her Uncle out of her affairs and mind was a learning process. Not that she ever wanted to completely shut him out but... well, would be nice to pick and choose what Atton was keen on.

Not that what she was learning now was gonna help on that front. Not entirely, at least; though Sadie was starting to see how the verse was setting this all up. Cracking the code of fate in a way.

Alright enough of that sort of over drama thinking for now, Sadie had to get back to the task at hand. Baby steps or one gorram thin' at'a time after all.

"Okay, right." She half mumbled to herself to refocus.

Time to take everything and put it together. Encript her thoughts, get rid of the tells, create a song that only certain folks knew the impact of the lyrics. Yeah, easier said than frakkin' done but she'd managed to shut Inyos out, now to just go and figure out how to let him back in.

So Sadie set about letting that tune run through her again, absorbing herself with it and then shifting it so it was only there for her. She'd gone and closed her eyes for part of the process as she'd focused. Felt like the proper thing to do after all, but once everything was supposed to be silent again she cracked one eye open then the next. The small nod she got from Inyos let her know she was on track. Good, so now to reopen the doors, to give her dad the key to the code she was making.

Back to the cards metaphor - kill the tell but signal your partner 'bout your plan, let 'em know your hand without letting other folks in on the deal.

It wasn't happening.

So no, that weren't it. It was something else. It was... trust.

Trust to let Inyos hear the melody that was so close to her, trust that he wasn't gonna take it away or muck it up or think anything of it instead of just her.

And that was the truth too. Sadie was new to this whole real honest trust thing but Inyos was one of the few who had it in spades when it came to her. Wasn't just a Force thing or a teacher thing or a Dad thing but it was all of it and none of it and was as hard to describe as if she was going and trying to tell a blind person what colors were. But it was still there and that was what she focused on now. That feeling, that knowledge. Maybe it wouldn't go and work, but it was another one of them things that just made sense to her and so far it hadn't quite steered her wrong.

[Inyos Aamoran]

People often described consciousness in the strangest way. Their mind was an open book. Their eyes were windows to the soul. People were closed minded. Open minded. Always something mechanical, something physical, something that could transform from one to the other with a simple process.

With the way the Force allowed Inyos to perceive the world, the minds of others were no such thing. Just as with everything else that had been discussed and considered between the Jedi and his daughter, it was a hard thing to put into words; but given their current location, in a metallic construct high in the skies of Bespin, perhaps the analogy that worked best for now was that of a sun, and clouds. To Inyos, Saidra's mind had been bright and radiant, beaming out like the noonday sun. Thoughts and emotions conflicted across it's surface, like flares, or heat haze, or whisps of cloud; but it was always there, warm and comforting, bringing light into a life that otherwise been empty and cold for far too long. Even when she travelled, departing Bespin for distant worlds alongside her hunter, he could still feel her like a star in the distance - or perhaps he couldn't; perhaps it was wishful thinking; but if so, it was a self-deception he was more than happy to indulge.

That changed, though. As Inyos sat, and watched without watching, he felt that radiance dim, a storm of heavy cloud collecting between them to block out the sun. Part of him was proud, buoyed by Sadie's obvious success at the first part of her efforts; but another part of him felt the cold chill of absense began to creep across his skin, the warmth and colour of the world around him stripped away as Sadie's mind isolated itself from the Force. But then it shifted, a gentle gust coaxing a handful of cloud aside, a prismatic beam of rainbow light lancing out in his direction, carrying with it a graceful, gentle melody that Inyos had never heard before, and yet recognised deep within his soul.

His eyes opened, and he watched his daughter, brow furrowed, eyes crinkling periodically with concentration. Since he had learned of her existance, and of their connection, it had been hard to avoid wondering about the moments he had missed. He had wondered how it would have felt to hold her for the first time as a newborn, to wrestle with the terror of holding something so frail and yet capable of instilling such powerful emotions within you. He had wondered how it would have felt to watch her as an infant, eagerly struggling to make her first unsteady steps in his direction. He had wondered if over the course of her life, the novelty of being described as her father would have faded; or would it have grown, more intense and valuable in parallel with his increasing pride of who she became? If this current moment was any indication, it seemed that it would be the latter; though how his pride and adoration could exceed it's current limits, he did not know.

A stray thought twisted the sentiment, realising that this feeling, this love and attachment that had formed out of nowhere, was explicitly forbidden by the Jedi Order he had once served. They branded it as evil, something to be avoided at all costs; and worse, Inyos had once agreed with that mentality, believed that love's potential to wound and corrupt was dangerous enough that the risk outweighed the benefits of letting the Jedi feel what he felt. He supposed that over the course of his life, he had witnessed first hand the damage that love could cause. Loving Elira as he had caused them both such pain. Loving Mandan like a brother had led to their mutual downfall. Loving Lúka as an apprentice had torn a hole in his heart. And yet, was the harm and hurt not a paltry price to pay for how much better a person he was when surrounded by those he cared for? Was Saidra's mere existance not a resounding counterpoint to any justification the Jedi Order could muster? It wasn't anger that he felt, it was something more impotent than that: a desire to challenge and contest the teachings of the old Order, twisted into frustration by the realisation that they no longer existed. Their teachings had faded not because they had been overturned by wiser minds, but because those who felt beholden to them had all since died. Though, Inyos supposed, was that not always the way with beliefs?

He sat in silence, wondering what beliefs Sadie might choose to adhere to. He had been so quick, so willing and eager to make the heartfelt gesture of inviting her to become his Padawan, but he had never stopped to consider whether the path of the Jedi was one she desired to pursue. From what he could tell, his daughter was not someone who strove to be defined by labels: she carved her own path, and fashioned a bespoke identity for herself; and such individuality was likely a far cry from the beliefs of any order that might seek to claim the Jedi name. If she was to be something other than a Jedi, then where did that leave him? There was no choice, no contest, if Inyos was required to choose between the Order and his family; but if he did so, where would that leave him? What would that make him? Who and what was Inyos Aamoran, if not a Jedi?

That sombre thought descended on him, dark clouds now gathering around his thoughts rather than Sadie's. He ignored them, offering his daughter a smile instead.

"Excellent," he said gently. "Exactly like that."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Rather than feeling that comfy sense of accomplishment, Sadie felt something were, well, not right. Weren't coming from her though, she felt for a wonderfully amazing change that everything was honestly good with her just then. Things had fallen in place and she'd sussed them out and puzzle pieces had fit and all that. No, it was something else. Someone else, if she was being honest with herself. Given the level of trust it'd taken to achieve what all she'd gone and done, well, felt like there was some necessary give and take needing to happen.

"Everythin' a'right over there?" The question was the sort she knew the answer to already, but felt obliged to go and ask. Weren't proper to notice a body suffering and not make an attempt towards at least acknowledging that.

"Y' don't have t' say, if y' don't wanna." Bit of comfort offered again, best she felt she could do really. "But y'know I'm here, right?"

Okay, best weren't quite true. There were steps further. Just a bit of a lean forward from where they were sitting across from each other let Sadie reach out physical like and place a hand on one of Inyos'. Were the sort of thing she'd seen folks do and yet knew it weren't just some banthadren show but actual real help even if it was just slight.

"This whole thing ain't some one way lane, savy? I get you're the teach an' all an' yeah, things have been all kins'a sideways fer me an' suck, but I get they ain't all been sunshine an' flowers for you, neither. What with..." She struggled to say mom, struggled more with the woman's actual name. "Folks you knew but never expected to see again croppin' up."

Sadie forced a half smile, not the greatest she could manage but it'd do right there and then. "I ain't alone no more. The same goes for you, kay? We can talk or not talk 'bout what's eatin' at ya."

[Inyos Aamoran]

A memory flashed through Inyos' mind, both vivid and painful. For a moment, the pain of Lúka's death was a fresh and open wound again; the next, a touch of a hand on his offered a blissful instant of respite. Then though, it had been Elira who'd been responsible, and while her affection came from a very different place, the compassion and desire to comfort was the same. Inyos didn't move, for fear of dislodging it. He almost took her up on the invitation to remain silent; but what would that gain? What sorrow was lessened by secrecy? What pain didn't fester and worsen if hidden and untreated? Yet, the words were difficult to find, the notion difficult to explain.

"It is selfish."

That much he was sure of. Despite Sadie's words to the contrary, on this front at least his own woes paled in comparison to yours. That Inyos had missed out on her life thus far was a situation of his own making, at least in part; but Sadie's lot in life had been inflicted upon her, the result of decisions made by parents who until now had been without names or faces. To even entertain sadness or grief at his absense of her life was absurd: had he not chosen to leave, all their lives would have been very different, most likely for the better.

"But while it is a joy to grow to know you now, at times I am sad to have missed so much of who you were before. I wish that -"

He stopped himself. No. That wasn't write at all.

"I would not presume to change our past, because that is what has led us to here, and nothing is worth the risk of losing that. Even so, I find myself wishing that I could have been there, to do better by you than what you suffered."

A single note of a hollow laugh escaped from him as a breath.

"I know I have said this before, but I will do so many, many times more. I am sorry for what you endured without me, Sadie; and I do not yet know how to properly atone."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

"Y'already are, ain't ya?"

Felt like a bit of a paltry offering, that; but the way Sadie saw it it weren't a lie either. The fact that Inyos wanted to make right by her and was trying to seemed a whole heck of a lot like the step he was wanting to make. Maybe it really weren't all as simple as that, but that was the best way to keep things weren't it?

"No more of that what-if an' might-have-been, dr-" She caught herself and uncharacteristically swapped a word. "Stuff. Okay? I mean, look at this way, I ain't even reached half of m' supposed life expectancy so y' got plenty of time left, right?"

Always the joke, but far from a lie neither. When every day was one you were thankful to just wake up without a splitting headache, you tried to make the best of it all and that included making up for lost time and lost lives and anything else lost. So what if Inyos and her had just realized a big reason as to why it was The Force kept trying to shove them towards one another. They didn't get it the times before but they sure as frak could now.

"This is gonna sound all kinds a' stupid but, yeah... Y're here now, with the knowledge y' got. Y' didn't run off when things got more complicated s' y' already got one up on me there. Already are bein' the sort of example a dad should, I think."

She moved then, just a subtle shift so she could fully sit back down and keep the rips of her fingers against his hand. A bit of that same goofball smile worked it's way back to her, just enough to prep for another round of teasing.

"As long as y' don't go threatenin' Vitt, I think you're doin' just fine."

[Inyos Aamoran]

You already are.

There were times, weighed down by all his regret and brooding, that Inyos could not fathom the way that his daughter saw the world. There were differences of course, discrepencies, disconnects between what she said, what she thought and felt, and what projected in her eyes without intention; but she saw things in a way that he did not. She made it sound so simple, and as she did the complicated knot in Inyos' mind untangled into comprehensible strands. He was here, she was here, and the Force was responsible for that. Inyos stopped himself before he allowed that notion of Force culpability to grow into a full excuse; but regardless, there was future ahead of them, just like she said - more for her perhaps than for him, but still - and that was where his focus needed to be, not wallowing in the darkness that both of them had left behind.

He smiled, both at the sentiment, and at Sadie's efforts to censor herself. Inyos would not have minded in the slightest if every second word she spoke was a profanity - he knew her mother, for Force sakes; it would hardly have been unexpected - but there was something touching, warming about the way she felt the need to. Inyos couldn't bring himself to decide whether it was respect, or protocol, or something else; but he was her father, and that was why. He hoped the little reminders like that would never stop, and would never cease to tug at the corner of his mouth.

The smile threatened to broaden, and he fought against it, instead insisting that his brow furrow into a frown, head tilting slightly to the side in innocent curiosity.

"What reason would I have to threaten Captain Montegue?"

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Now she couldn't help but go and laugh outright. Not for long, and not in any mocking sort of way but it was still one of them hard to grasp things that her parent knew less 'bout the verse and random tropes than she did.

"It's a... A thing that happens in books an' films an' th' like. Overprotective dad syndrome, I guess. I can only kinda guess at it, bein' not a parent an' all an' guessin' it has somethin' t' do with dads havin' once been boys datin' girls and so they kinda get what a guy might be after. Though sometimes it's jus' kinda in the shape of, 'break her heart and I break your face' and..."

She had to stop herself as a bad case of the chuckles was working it's way back up upon her and it weren't real nice or fair to go laughing at someone who was well, innocent to that sort of silliness. Sadie half considered pointing out that Atton probably had covered that whole overprotective nonsense conversation thing, but it didn't seem kind to state that someone else may have taken a job that should have maybe been Inyos' to do at some point. And if Inyos wanted to go and do it to make himself feel more like a Dad, well then, she was sure Vitt would humor him. Maybe.

It kinda baffled her, being the one who had to teach someone these sort of things. Hells, there was a whole heap of stuff she didn't get thanks to not really growing up a holonet kid like a lot of folks her age.

"Just kinda a bad joke, really. Like a lot of things."

A deep breath came and went, leaving Sadie with one of them epiphany type deals.

"Thanks, by the way. F'r just... this? I really like learnin' stuff but it's nice t' know we can jus' kinda shoot th' skag too."

[Inyos Aamoran]

Inyos remained silent as Sadie spoke, carefully contemplating her words. As her gratitude was stated however, he found himself unable to focus on it, distracted again by the deepening frown on his brow.

"You and Captain Montegue are... dating?"

He tried to recall if he had been aware of that. Certainly, it was not something he had the wherewithal to discern for himself - Mandan had always been the one who understood people, and Inyos had distinctly been not. When he had been introduced to the Captain, it had been as Sadie's rescuer, protector, and partner. Inyos had understood those words simply at face value; but with this new information, suddenly the strange inflection and expression that had graced Atton's delivery of partner unravelled with new meaning. Perhaps he was supposed to have known then. Perhaps on some level he had been, and and was remaining willfully oblivious to it out of respect for his Padawan's privacy. Not that his daughter deserved any less respect from such things, yet at the same time she deserved to have a father who was interested in her state and wellbeing.

Inyos shuffled a little, finding that his thoughts had strayed into a territory he was unfamiliar with. Yet, if things were to change in his life, in their lives, in the state of their family, then perhaps it was something he needed to become familiar with. He was unsure what the future held for himself in regards to Sadie's mother; but Elira and Sadie both deserved for him to be prepared for whatever might transpire.

"Is it..."

He fumbled for the words a little.

"...going well?"

[Sadie K'Vesh]

"Urhm,"

Okay so part of having a dad was apparently some right proper embarrassing moments, yeah? Inyos kinda intrinsically had that right and really, who was she to deny him that? Even if it weren't done purposeful like.

"Yeah, I... I guess so? I dunno, ain't properly had anyone like this b'fore."

Welldamn that weren't even more awkward to admit than anything else so far. That was the downright problem. Yeah, okay, so her and Vittore were a thing. But it was defining that thing that were all kinds of problematic. Sadie weren't a shy kind of person, hells it'd take a damn bit to reallytruly count the number of guys she'd gotten close to on the physical plane but if she were downright honest the number of them that'd gotten into the emotional barrier was a slight number. Two, three maybe if she was generous? Vitt was at the top of the list though and that was weird. Weird enough to herself to admit without having to try and explain to someone else; her father at that.

"It's... Diff'rent, y'know? Guessin' y' do on account of Elira makin' y' change you're Jedi mind on stuff but... Yeah, it's... Good. Real good."

[Inyos Aamoran]

Silence followed, and Inyos found himself offering the slightest series of nods, as if he was wordlessly agreeing with the information that had been presented before him. He knew that on some level, he had an obligation as a father here. Sadie had implied as much. He was supposed to be protective of his daughter, to the point of violence if her chosen man did anything untoward. That made sense. That was consistent with how he had seen others act towards their children. And yet, Sadie had acted as if it were a joke she had made. Were he not supposed to do that, then? Was it some archaic tradition or gender role that was no longer valid?

It was still his first day of fatherhood, and if there was some sort of instruction manual it had not yet been delivered. There were questions he could never have thought to ask; and really, who would be the recipient of such questions? Elira knew no more about parenthood than he did, and she did not strike him as the sort of person who might have had a relationship with her father worth emulating. Atton was no better; what little he knew about the half-siblings' history together consisted of Atton and Elira explaining that they shared a mother, and that both of their fathers were assbutts. He knew little of Nen Lev'i, or of Emelie Shadowstar; but he was not hopeful: and to confide in Vittore Montegue would have been foolish in light of this new information, Vittore's vocal condemnations of his now-deceased father not withstanding. Perhaps Amaros Koine? Inyos knew that he was a patriarch of his Mandalorian clan, and believed there had been some mention of a son; perhaps he would have some useful insight to offer. For now however, it was unavailable.

Inyos sought his mind for options, for insight he could offer, or advice that he could give. There was very little, particularly since things were going real good. He wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but in his experience, most incomprehensible euphamisms meant only one thing.

"I trust that -"

His brow furrowed, and he shifted a little, uncomfortably, suddenly aware of every single atom and undulation in the unforgivingly firm deckplates beneath him.

"Some surprises are pleasant ones, but that is not always true. There are things that I didn't, that the Temple didn't -"

The temperature of the room began to rise rapidly, something that Inyos found counterintuative given the structure's size and low powered state. He forced the last few words out between awkward glances that refused to remain focused on Sadie for long.

"You are being careful, yes?"

[Sadie K'Vesh]

If she'd had a drink in her mouth at that point, Sadie would have gone and choked. Day one of Inyos being a dad and he had that awkward, making you feel all kinds of embarrassed dren down pat. Okay, fair enough there was a sort of innocent naive sort of thing about it that made it hard to shout at him and storm off, but that wasn't exactly Sadie's style anyway. As it were, she barely held back a snort, an honest to gorram snort that could only have been described as a laugh that weren't let fully form. Shiny; more embarrassment.

"What?" She managed, like she didn't damned well know what Inyos was going and referring to.

Calm just about recovered, Sadie's mind went and tumbled forward to remind her of just how weird the question was. Being careful implied that her and Vitt had gone and done... well, anything. Okay so not anything, but something specific which two folks of their nature should have gone and gotten well on with a ton of times already. But her and Vitt? It weren't that they were taking things slow, that sounded stupid. But it was complicated. Sadly a whole heap of that complication came from her. Weren't a bad thing, but it was... well, hard to discuss and put into words and maybe that was why she actually found herself wanting to talk rather than just brushing it off with some sort of silly banthadren comment.

"Ain't... Really anythin' t' be careful 'bout. Not yet anyhow. 'M still..." Nono, didn't seem right making it sound like blame or fault was on her. "We just ain't there."

[Inyos Aamoran]

The moment Sadie began to reply, Inyos understood his mistake. He understood that he had strayed into a subject that he should not have, and worse, could feel the weight of how much Sadie did not say.

It was more than just the nature of what Sadie withheld that Inyos understood. He might not quite have grasped the specifics - as this entire situation reminded, the intricacies of how sentient beings interacted with each other were something that he found elusive and hard to follow, riddled with rules and protocols that he did not understand, or that failed to apply even when he did - but he was intimately familiar with that feeling, that certainty that things were complicated and the sincere belief that the blame rested with you. An entire universe of alternate possibilities existed for each and every shortfall that Inyos perceived in himself, universes that were better, where friends lived and families were whole, purely because he had not in some way failed them. Consciously, he understood that such logics were fallacies, tiny cracks in rational thought that allowed the dark side to seep in and begin to take its toll.

Such sentiments within Inyos had existed for decades, slowly growing with each tragedy that influenced part of his life. At their worst, Inyos had faced them alone, trapped in literal darkness with nothing but his thoughts. That was a fate he refused to see repeated in Sadie.

Gently, the Force lifted Inyos from the deck plates, just enough for his crossed legs to unfurl, and for him to coast a few inches closer to his daughter. The Force lowered him back down onto one knee, and Inyos reached out, a hand carefully placed on Sadie's shoulder. That was almost the extent of it, but a subconscious impulse came like a gentle gust of courage, and he leaned forward, bowing his head to rest against hers. He cloud have offered his feelings from an arm's reach away, but now they flowed directly from his mind to hers, empathy and gentle sentiments escaping him like a breath. The hand on her shoulder squeezed the tiniest bit tighter, every iota of reassurance he could muster conveyed with more clarity and purity than words could ever offer.

That left his voice free for one final measure; words that sounded more like Elira's than his own, and yet from what he had experienced of Sadie thus far, he suspected the faint attempt at humour might be welcome.

"That is probably for the best," he offered quietly. "I do not think I am ready for you to run the risk of making me a grandfather as well."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie went and laughed. Nothing that'd be considered a proper bout, but enough to crack a much needed smile and lighten the moment on all heaps of levels. She probably should have been all kinds of aware that the mix of feelings she was struggling through would have been felt by Inyos given that he'd been spending the better part of their session well within her emotions and the like. It weren't the most encouraging thing he could have gone and said, but it was certainly the right thing.

"That's for damn sure,"she teased, but certainly didn't feel a word of it.

As far as Sadie were concerned, Inyos was well damn on his way to being a right damn proud example of a father. Not that she had any grand example of what exactly that meant, but Inyos seemed to have that right amount of assurance and wisdom and all that he was well on his way to making up for all kinds of lost time. She certainly weren't ready to take on the role of mom, but Inyos probably could go and transition to Granddad without too much of a hiccup. He'd have to wait though, a whole hells load of time if she were concerned, unless he had some other unknown kid running about and while Sadie wouldn't put it past the frakked up Galaxy they all found themselves in, finding she had some sibling somewhere would have just tipped the scales from I can do this to Frak my entire life a million times over.

"B'sides, I don't exactly feel like goin' and fightin' some kid for y're attention. Y' got way too much t' teach me still."

[Inyos Aamoran]

"As if there would be a contest."

A gentle smile settled into place on Inyos' features as he pulled away, and from nowhere an urge took hold, a hand gently adjusting the way Sadie's hair fell, brushing a loose strand away from her face. He could see it, now that he actually looked: Elira in the shape of her jaw, himself in the arc of her brow, Elira's tentative smile, his eyes looking back at him from Sadie's face. It both overjoyed and troubled him, to see himself reflected so undeserved in her features, as if to this point he was anything more than a donor of randomly selected genes. He knew that for some, such a resemblance was a point of pride, for both parent and child. Part of him wondered how Sadie might feel the first time someone told her she had her father's eyes. Would she be pleased to know that such a similarity existed, or had she been without a father for too long for such a fact to actually matter?

He pushed those thoughts aside, dwelling on the smile that Sadie's words had provoked.

"You have, and always shall have my undivided attention. If there ever comes a time when another enters our lives to encroach upon that?"

He trailed off, a slight shrug tugging at his shoulders.

"The Force is capable of allowing a great many things. I will simply have to learn how to harness it to be in two places at once."