Henley Ceraph

[Kera Blacc]

Hensley Ceraph
Unknown:: Energy Vampire - Reboot - Unaffiliated :: Loner
Currently in:


http://i.imgur.com/1EShTbD.jpg

Character Background


*Born on an unknown planet and grew upon Tython
*Studied under a Nikto Jedi Master as aSpecialist
*helped to calm negotiations &survived an ambush on her first solo mission.
*Was genetically altered through anexperiment after being captured shortly after ranking up in theformer order.

The Information-


Raw Material!
*Sado-Masochism: Hensley draws rawpower through pain. As she becomes emotional, or injured she can useher own inner or outer conflict to extend her own force aura byturning that pain into a raw resource of hidden power. This is atemorary boost and can be a bit taxing depending on the circumstancessurrounding the sudden surge.
*Pyro-Sado-Masochism: a major sourceof power in the application of her pyrokinetics. She has not becomeimmune to her own element and prefers to acknowldge the infliction ofthe surge in pain when it comes to accessing and utilizingPyrokinetics. This has the greatest potential to tax isis after thesurge has cooled.
*Specialist: Hensley has always beenand will continue to be a specialist character. I never enjoyedwriting her as a favoritist when it comes to her abilities. I feelthat sometimes its best to not be so picky since If one was to mastera combination of techniques it could be more beneficial to the OC andeveryone they come into contact of conflict with.
*SpeciesSecrets: Hensley didn't start her life as a Vampiric Entity, it hadbeen thrust upon her during her being held in bondage centuries ago.Her true species is unknown however its one that believes heavily ina spiritual caste in which ancient gods are were highly revered asbieng the Monarchy of their people.
Its similar to that of theancient sith species, with some minor or major differences.


~

Existing Relationships



.Currently Sianna.
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Current Plots



. Briefly explain a few current plots or threads. These might spin off into new plots and threads.
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Credit for the basic template goes to Dun of RPG-D (http://rpg-directory.com/index.php?act=idx)

[Hensley Ceraph]

Whoops!

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Is this the character you'll be using the knight rank for? :)

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Thanks for posting your plotter!

It's pretty obvious you've put a lot of work into this character, and we look forward to seeing how Hensley adapts to a very different era in history. There are a few issues with your backstory that have come up in our moderators' discussion, and they basically boil down to your backstory implying a lot more power than we typically allow for a knight-level character:


We've never allowed a single character to wield planetkillers and other superweapons. Even if it's in the distant past, that's a history-changing event.
Assuming your character was active during one of the old Sith Wars, there never would have been an alliance between the Jedi and the Sith unless your character was attacking them from a Palpatine-like level of power, which, again, is far too much for a knight. It's rare for even a Master to wield that sort of influence.

Your basic ideas are sound, but it would help if you could scale them down to something more believable for a fallen Jedi Knight rather than a galactic despot like Palpatine. If you have any questions, I'll be happy to help if I can!

[Kera Blacc]

Excuse the foul up. Accidentally posted this on the wrong account and then got busy irl.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

No worries. Posting a plotter with an alt account is perfectly fine.

If you could address the points in my last post though, that would be appreciated.

[Kera Blacc]

Ugh.. Will fix this in a few hours.

Edited at 6 am.

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Heya, reading through your plotter and I've got a few questions on some things could use some clarification, because I may not be not be understanding things correctly, here.

What time period is your character originally from? As in, how long ago in years was it that she and her padawan went to investivate those mysterious lab? We've got a few characters around here from specific points in time, and as they've already established history at those points there may be conflict if yours doesn't jive with what's been established by writers here already.

She's an heiress, but after being gone so long she would likely be presumed dead, and whatever monies/land/holdings she had would logically have been redisbursed years ago. If they were, how does she intend to get around being penniless upon her escape from where she's being held?

Is energy vampire your race, or a Force skill? I'm not clear on this. Also, just so we know, how does the vampirism of energy work in terms of how long does it sustain your character, and what is its effect on the victim?

Is your character also known as "the Dark One," or is that another character?

I presume the rituals that are keeping her imprisoned are also sustaining her with energy? Or is she in some sort of cryo pod or other form of fully suspended animation? Why this matters is, is she able to think during this whole time, or has essentially been switched off?

You mention you want to "extinguish the current seat of the Dark Empire." Do you mean the Empire as in everything the Imperials control, and therefore mean you want to kill the Empress? Or are you speaking about the Sith? As right now the Sith are kinda doing their own thing and don't have a "seat" being actively played. For the most part, any known Force users in Empire-controlled lands get rounded up and either put in the Knights program, or imprisoned/otherwise dealt with. Force users in Alliance space are kinda free to do as they like, but the Jedi can also freely operate in Alliance space, so the Sith can't really act with impunity there, either.

And, this "Force Crush" power seems... very overpowered. Telekenesis is a tricky thing, and the ability to crush a space station with your mind is something even the best masters here can't do, and I'm not sure anyone was ever able to do. There might be ways that TK could destroy a space station, but they're rather involved and intricate, and would still take a lot out of the one doing it. Blunt-force TK is fine, but I think this power needs to be really scaled back, here.

From a plot perspective, after being gone for so long, no one is going to know who she is, and her name likely will have been entirely forgotten, not to mention whoever put her in her prison has likely been dead for some time now. That may be something you want to consider factoring into her future ambitions. My character was also out of circulation for over a century, lost everything, and no one knew who he was, and he's had to rebuild from square one, as a heads-up. As a general tip, too, we're much more about story than power levels, on this board. I know some boards put a focus on big powers, so that might be a bit of an adjustment for you.

[Hensley Ceraph]

Currently having a writers block with this, but will try to answer your questions

1. Energy Vampire is a race in sw lore
2. E.V. feeds of the life force of its victim. Just a fancy name for a Vampire in the lore we got in our real world, without the weakness to garlic and religious items.
3. Period? Oh a couple thousand seeing as the E.V. are don't exactly die unless killed by an enemy.
4. Rich? Not likely.. Gave up her wealth upon joining the Jedi Order of old.
5. Getting around.. Now ya see that's the tricky part, thought I'd borrow yours. xD
6. "Dark ONe" is my fave little pet name for the character
7. The crypt she is in has her contained with an energy field that was designed to keep her confined. A timeless stasis-like energy shield/field/whatever.
8. It can be "switched off" but only by a knowledgeable force user that understands the type of stuff.
9. Yup! Hensley wants to kill them and take their toys. xD
10. Technically she's been confined for way too long. Force Crush will have greatly weakened by then due to sheer boredom.
11. The Force Crush is a past power that was worked on for what seems forever on another community, it took time to mature.. Wont be that powerful again, but can crush a cave, small building.. or Slimer.

Hope that helps. :)

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Okay, couple issues I feel I should bring up relating to some of your answers, here, and I'll use your list number for them for clarity.

2: Does it kill the victim? And if it doesn't, what effect does it have on the victim? How long would each victim sustain your character for?

3: What actual era was it when your character and her padawan went into the lab? Like, literally how many years ago? Also, how many years ago was your character actually born?

5: Borrow my what? Ship? Hat? Lunch? Not bloody likely to any of those three.

8: What I meant was, while in that stasis is she thinking in real-time, or is she basically unconscious, and when it wears off it'll be like a blink of an eye since she was put in there? This has very important ramifications in levels of madness.

9: Not bloody likely. They will kill you dead. Hard. And they have the manpower and tech to do it, so don't think you can just sweep in against the Empire, you will get fucked up hard. 100% truth.

10 & 11: Force powers don't typically suffer from time. It's all about mastery. Still, your level of Force Crush will likely never, ever be approved here, because it's Mary Sue levels of OP. In general it needs to be toned down, and have a DRASTIC effect on the user from it. Wielding that level of power through the Force would burn up a ton of energy, and likely leave you very weakened for a period of time.

I currently play the character who is likely the most powerful with TK on this whole board, but even he can't just do stuff like that at the drop of a hat. Nor should he ever be able to. This isn't a power game, it's a character game, here.

[Hensley Ceraph]

2. She does. The effects range between death-to-zombie minion type ordeal.
2. They can sustain her until death.. Not long.

3. Old Republic. Around the SWTOR Era, maybe a little farther than that. I might be getting the date wrong here.

5. Yup! hand over the keys. :P (sarcasm)

8. The character can either be awake, pacified or in meditation. (I'm going with the 3rd)

9. lmao! I never stated she'd walk into palace city and make a bold statement to get her executed; she's mission oriented, not suicidal. It'll take time and planning like everything else.

10.11 Now this community is indeed different. The other, the first I joined, informed me they could weaken if not used for x amount of time. Thanks for clearing that up. And trust me, I don't play at "god mode".. I know how to make it "fit". But as you have stated, it will be toned down. :)

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

There's a massive amount of basic backstory and strengths and powers, but I'm not really seeing a balance in terms of weaknesses or stumbling blocks. Energy Vampires have no weakness to garlic or religious relics etc, but there needs to be something (or things) that they are susceptible to.

I'll use myself as an example - My character is a Lupine, and while she may be able to shapeshift into a vornskr, has heightened senses, and a long lifespan, she is burned by silver and cortosis, and owing to her lineage is at risk of dementia. The other lineage of Lupines are unable to withstand the Force, and go mad when it is used (much in the same way a full moon affects werewolves), becoming feral monsters trying to tear apart whatever used the Force. And on top of that, she has her own internal issues and problems that prevent her from doing things (or at the very least making them incredibly uncomfortable to do).

Balance is key, and character flaws are like gold.

[Hensley Ceraph]

How about natural light? Like sunlight? real lore could be used for the weakness; cause her to turn to ash if prolonged exposure to sunlight. There could also be a mystical amulet or something imbued or blessed by an ancient "priest" type character (Think Kissai) that could very well kill her too.

Maybe a rare poison? .

[Anauri Rabeak]

If it's sunlight, you'd have to be in total blackout mode while in space. Ultraviolet radiation would be everywhere in space, so essentially your only safe place would be behind solid walls, meaning you couldn't even look out a windshield or real window.

A race simply cannot be that hard to kill, because if they were, they'd have become so overpopulated that they'd be the only sentient species in the galaxy by now. There needs to be a more realistic, and more common weakness, as sunlight would be a 100% killer of such a race in space. Not to mention anyone with an ultraviolet flashlight would be able to to take you down just by shining it at you, so sorry, the sunlight thing would be a no-go for me.

The mystical amulet thing also doesn't fly, because if something can be made to be harmful against you, anything would be able to be made the same way, and it also falls into the realm of magic outside the Force, which is a can of worms I think we've decided should remain permanently shut around here.

How about you can simply be killed/injured any way a normal person could be? You can extend your actual lifespan by your race's ability to suck life force out of others, but that's about the extent of your natural abilities. It'd be like the elves in Lord of the Rings, as they're immortal only in the sense that they don't age. They can be killed like anyone else, however, by standard physical means.

[Hensley Ceraph]

Not really hard to kill. Her race makes her essentially ageless but not immune to death. I am sure if someone decided to impale her with a Lightsaber or shoot her with a pistol that'd be enough to kill her.
She is no god, therefor she can die.

[Hensley Ceraph]

and you're probably right. I can see her hiding in a meditation chamber on her ship (once she steals one).

[Halajiin Rabeak]

...then who's going to fly it? O.o

[Hensley Ceraph]

The crew?

[Halajiin Rabeak]

So... she's stealing a ship and expects the crew of it to work for her while she's in a box they could just weld shut and jettison? O.o

[Hensley Ceraph]

lmao! Well they wouldn't be proud "employee's", would they?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

I think what you have here, if you enjoy world building, is a wonderful opportunity to really flesh out Energy Vampires. Since there's essentially only a blurb about them, you can take those basics already written on Wookieepedia and add to them.

For instance, what is their home world like? What do they call themselves ie: species name? Perhaps, owing to their lifespan, there is only a specific time in their lives when they are fertile (thus providing a good reason why they haven't taken over the galaxy)? Do they instinctively lean towards colder or hotter climates?

It seems to me that you have a chance to craft something and make it three dimensional rather than a one-off writeup.

[Hensley Ceraph]

Thank you all for the support with this. :D
I plan to expand on it. I'll take alot of what I got here, and flesh it out more.

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Literally how long has she been imprisoned now? Like, actual year number.

[Kera Blacc]

You're about to find out. Still working on the plotter. :)

[Halajiin Rabeak]

You could have just answered. You often avoid answers when asked directly, or pivot away. It's very off-putting to all of us who are trying to help you because it says to us that you do not respect us, or our input.

[Kera Blacc]

I actually do respect it. I apologize if I do that, didn't realize it.

[Matatek Sel Vissica]

This is far overpowered for a knight class character. I'm not even certain we have any masters capable of what's on this list.

[Hensley Ceraph]

How exactly is she overpowered?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

I will address this.






One engagement after another using similar tactics while allowing it to be upgraded and adjusted for every new target Hensley slowly drained the resources of her targets until she accidentally mistook a republic asteroid mine for an imperial resource prison. The first time she had failed at a mission and forced the Jedi to take notice of her, which caused an entirely new problem as she originally had no wants or desires to move against her former order.


This is not an established part of our board history. If the Jedi had begun to take notice of her in such a fashion, then it would be something that many of our current characters would know from history lessons. They do not.




A new battle began to form, a new enemy began to emerge and a new ball game had manifested itself. No longer had Hensley been at war with the Sith but now due to one mistake she was slowly being forced into a confrontation with the Republic.


Again, the same reason as above applies.




While attacking on the most strategic targets to obtain valuable resources and to cut the Dark Orders Operations off she had gained enough experience fighting sith warriors and inquisitors that she was capable of handling her own against another force user, but this was entirely different.


What sort of Inquisitors are you talking about. This is the first I've heard you mention them; are they the same Inquisitors from Star Wars: Rebels?




She began to ponder where it would lead, began to roll through events in her mind and began to prepare herself. A mining colony she had attacked had been the major medical resource, a colony in which the republic was the most protective of. She failed to adhere to the warnings from the force, now it could turn ugly as both sides might begin to move against her.
In mere months the signs of all out war between her and the republic + the sith order became apparent.. The fate was unavoidable.


All of this is essentially the same thing as what you had the first time, only in a new dressing. And again, I will tell you that this is a conflict to our own board history; history that many members have spent over a decade writing. If all-out war existed between the Republic, whatever Sith groups were around at the time, and Ceraph, then it would be known. It is not. Thus, you are in conflict with our established timeline.

Change it.





She began to devise new tactics and strategies.
During the aggressive campaign she stalked and ambushed her prey, it took many decades but after about a hundred years their orders finally began to diminish.


Who's orders began to diminish. This is vague and tells no one anything.





Hensley remains imprisoned, awaiting for the rituals that have her imprisoned to weaken so she can continue her former mission.


How did she get locked away. There is nothing explaining this.





Extinguish the current seat of the Dark Empire


What Empire are you talking about. You never answered clearly. Are you talking about the Empire begun by Palpatine? Or are you talking about some other Sith Empire?











Before her Imprisonment Hensley had become the only practitioner of Force Crush to be feared the most.
Many knew her as a being that could take down an entire orbital station without even using her blades or her command vessel.


This is far too overpowered, and as Vissica stated, not even the masters here can do that. You need to tone this down massively.


Many of the members here have tried to help illustrate to you what makes an engaging character and what helps to generate interest in your character. They have tried to help you make more than a one-dimensional character. Take their advice, I implore you.


My ultimate recommendation? Scrap this plotter. Start fresh. And most importantly, do not try to make some ultra-powerful Mary Sue character who's background is in direct conflict with the decade's worth of creative collaboration here.

[Halajiin Rabeak]

I see you're still posting as this character with no changes here. Do you have any intention at all of updating your plotter? Or, like all the other help, advice and issues we've brought up, do you intend to simply ignore us and keep doing your own thing in total disrespect to those who have made this board what it is?

I may not be a mod, and that may be a good thing because I'd be about this close to closing your threads until you can get it through your head that things have to change, and we're not kidding around, here.

Fix your Mary Sue character.

[Hensley Ceraph]

Some of this seems a bit petty. Am I creating the character so that you can write it out?

I'm used to communities that allow Freedom to write, this seems a bit more like what I ran into when I left another. But I guess being apart of the community means my characters are actually intended to be written out by those who are not myself only because I added in past events that are of the character and not the community.

I'll change it just so we can create the character for other people.

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Some of this seems a bit petty. Am I creating the character so that you can write it out?

I'm used to communities that allow Freedom to write, this seems a bit more like what I ran into when I left another. But I guess being apart of the community means my characters are actually intended to be written out by those who are not myself only because I added in past events that are of the character and not the community.

I'll change it just so we can create the character for other people.

There is freedom, and then there is respect for what is established. You seem to have zero of the latter, and that makes for a character who is 100% incompatible with this board. You don't go into another country and expect to follow your own set of laws, and you don't dive underwater and expect to breathe there simply because you want to. It doesn't work that way.

[Hensley Ceraph]

Some of this seems a bit petty. Am I creating the character so that you can write it out?

I'm used to communities that allow Freedom to write, this seems a bit more like what I ran into when I left another. But I guess being apart of the community means my characters are actually intended to be written out by those who are not myself only because I added in past events that are of the character and not the community.

I'll change it just so we can create the character for other people.

There is freedom, and then there is respect for what is established. You seem to have zero of the latter, and that makes for a character who is 100% incompatible with this board. You don't go into another country and expect to follow your own set of laws, and you don't dive underwater and expect to breathe there simply because you want to. It doesn't work that way.


Like I said. I will redo it so its more compatible.

[Charley]

It's not a RP universe without constraints of history and mechanics. If you're really wanting to write and expect to end-run a roleplay community's years of established lore in order to do something that pays the environment zero regard, then you are writing something else entirely.

That's the thing with RP, it's freedom within the boundaries of the established worlds and characters. It's not the same thing as total writer's freedom, which is what you'd get if you were writing a short story or a novel. I can understand if you are attempting the latter and being caged in by the former, because they are two completely different things.

So I guess you need to ask yourself exactly what you are wanting to write, and if it's something that completely resets the universe for you to achieve your story, you may want to try out a solo writing project in General RP.

[Hensley Ceraph]

Anymore changes will just be the equal of me copying and pasting the history directly into the biography..

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Nobody is asking you to copy the board history into your plotter. We are asking that respect the history and work within it.

[Hensley Ceraph]

smh.. I've been within that the entire time, just didn't have it all about the history which really seems to be the focal point here. If the app doesn't speak 90% community history it becomes a mary sue or god mode.

[Kalleeiha Maillanaarro]

Okay, I think I see a disconnect here.

The Mary Sue and Godmoding concerns are separate from concerns of RP universe cohesion. Stuff like "taking down the dark empire" as a goal is a clash regardless of whether a character is perceived to be overpowered or not, because there is no such affiliation in this universe.

On the converse, being able to crush an entire space station is a godmoding issue, because it doesn't speak to any conflicts within the universe as we obviously have space stations. It's an issue because no one here, not even masters, have such an off-the-scale kind of talent.

They're two separate concerns, rather than one monolithic thing.

We want you to succeed as a writer here, we really do. There have been a lot of folks who have come up here and written their shared stories. It's just a matter of respecting the constraints and working within them. It's creativity within constraint that allows for the imagination to really take off.

[Hensley Ceraph]

There are various ways to destroy something, even a station. with the force that has little to nothing to do with being in God Mode.. but ya alright.

[Kalleeiha Maillanaarro]

Well yes, there are. Luke Skywalker proved that much. I guess the point here is that it's one thing to say that a character can influence the outcome of a one-in-a-million proton torpedo shot to take out the Death Star, and an entirely different thing to say that Luke Skywalker can just straight-up destroy a Death Star with the force. It's all in the context, which is the issue here. The plotter is a tool to aid you in shaping your character, and a resume given to other RPers to see where and how they may interact with you. I hope you can understand and appreciate the difference in what we're pointing out in how that's been laid out.

[Kera Blacc]

Oh I do. Just will tone it down to appease the rule-mongers.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

The main point of all this is if you can't figure out a way to craft a character that isn't overpowered or godmoding, your knight rank transfer won't be approved and you will have to start with a padawan level character. Weapons of mass destruction, like Death Stars and Suncrushers are not allowed here, and characters of mass destruction aren't allowed either. Even if your character KNEW how to crush a station with her mind, you would never be able to use that power here.

Calling staff members "rule-mongers" isn't helping your cause. We are trying to work with you and show you how to alter your plotter. Perhaps looking at other plotters might help you figure out what works around here?

[Hensley Ceraph]

Ah so theoretically even crushing another characters wind pipe in a thread would be god moding.. Great to know (LOL)

[Charley]

If it's a player character and it's done without their permission, then yes that is correct.

But that's not what you are getting at, I know. You're equivocating killing an NPC with the force to outright destroying a space station. The scale of the task is night and day between those two actions.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Obviously you cannot kill or maim other player characters without their permission. So yes, that would be considered godmoding if you just did that in a thread. Being capable of crushing a windpipe of an NPC is not a godmode power. Please stop with the sarcasm, it isn't doing you any favors.

[Hensley Ceraph]

If it's a player character and it's done without their permission, then yes that is correct.

But that's not what you are getting at, I know. You're equivocating killing an NPC with the force to outright destroying a space station. The scale of the task is night and day between those two actions.


You're not getting the statement made. Making it to where an opponent cannot breathe is Surgical, some concept as the whole theory of "You can't destroy a space station because you don't have a ship". shrug it doesn't matter, I'll play by the rules.

[Hensley Ceraph]

Updated!

[Shuvin Undhi]

This is a lot better! Just enough information to give us a glimpse of who she is, while keeping extraneous information out, making an easier read and a way to hook others into your character via curiosity.

I'm not quite clear on how her vampirism works in relation to her pain and fire related powers, but otherwise it's concise, clear, and engaging.

[Charley]

Looks good to me. I'm curious about the Tython origins.