A New Life

[Vhiran Antilles]

Vhiran had never felt more uncomfortable in his life.

It wasn't anything to do with Emelie. Sure, things were a little odd between them still, but if anything being wrapped around her little finger and at her beck and call was about the only thing on Cloud City that did feel comfortable. It was everything else that felt weird. It was wandering around the white and swanky upper levels of Cloud City, feeling perpetually out of place with the same scruffy hair and scruffy outfit that he always wore. It was the food. The restaurants. The fact that there was a Biscuit Baron or an Apollo's Caf joint visible at all times. It was the Byblos vibe of the architecture and the social set-up, but populated by the assorted dregs of the Outer Rim. It was the fact that they were standing on a Force-damned flying city, instead of having solid ground beneath his feet.

Even down here in the lower levels, Vhiran felt out of place. He half wondered if Emelie had picked up on things, and brought him down to Port Town out of sympathy. Surround him with the kind of scummy grime and crime he was used to. But even that didn't help; even that didn't feel the way it was supposed to feel.

Maybe it wasn't even the place that was wrong; maybe it was just him. Maybe it was the fact that he had to remind himself not to case the joint, because Emelie actually owned all this stuff. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn't supposed to constantly be working on an exit strategy, because this wasn't some con that he might need to bail on. Maybe it was the fact that he had been wandering around the city the last few days being himself; it had been so long since he'd done that in public that he wasn't even sure he remembered who that was.

He wondered if Emelie felt any of this: if it was weird for her having him around, or if she was just so at peace and settled in the nest of security and authority she'd built for herself that none of it really mattered. He wondered how much of today - of her offer to show him around and help him settle in - was really about Vhiran's own peace of mind, and how much was about Emelie's own secret insecurity, showing her oldest friend the empire she was building for herself, and hoping that he would approve.

He almost snagged her hand as they stood there, gazing around the interior of Elysium: the same Emelie-owned nightclub that Vhiran had stumbled past when he first arrived. That was what people did, right? Held hands to offer comfort and reassurance? That wasn't really them, though. The kind of woman Emelie was, she'd probably rather his hand was up her blouse than wrapped around hers. It was a relief and a worry in equal measure. When the doors were locked and the clothes were off, he knew exactly the kind of man that Emelie needed and wanted him to be. The rest of the time, though? How was any of this even supposed to work?

If any part of Emelie really was looking for his approval, it certainly got it. Vhiran had kept tabs on her enough to know that this wasn't her first boozary - there was some dive back on Coruscant, and maybe something about a vineyard? - but this was something else. What must have been an empty box, a warehouse or something of that ilk, had turned into the kind of stylish venue that Vhiran had spent half his life in. Industrial facets of Cloud City's construction and operation were woven into the design, steam pipes, coolant conduits, giant gears and mechanisms gracing the walls and ceilings, breaking the club down naturally into the kinds of zones such a place was meant to have. With the lights full up, the space seemed fairly benign; but in the dimness of night, with thumping music and crowds of half-sober patrons milling about, it was riddled with the kinds of nooks and blindspots that any good nightclub needed, so that the requisite drug use and inebriated friskiness could all go down.

"You had me worried," Vhiran muttered, fighting against the urge to grin in order to keep some semblance of a stoic expression in place. "Thought that between your swanky penthouses and your legitimate businesses, you might 'ave gone and got borin' in your old age."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

"Me?" Emelie felt one of her eyebrows raise in mock surprise. "Never."

The simple word was uttered with such flair and drama that she almost felt ashamed of herself for a moment, but it was the sort of obvious overact she knew Vhiran had at one time been more than used to. It felt strange still, having him around and mixing the old with the new as it were. It was good too, though. After their little heart-to-heart and between sessions of exertion she'd finally managed to find the time to tell him the not-so-sort version of what all she had been up to since they had parted ways all those years ago. It was one thing to tell a story, however, and an entirely other thing to be able to actually spread your arms and show what you had managed to achieve.

"This is really only the beginning of my entertainment ventures, though. I've been looking into how much it would cost to convert one of those old abandoned mining platforms into a distillery. Figured I could turn that and my winery away from private reserve only into a bit of a more... inclusive brand. Still only produce low volume, keep the demand and intrigue and all. Maybe some sort of members-only availability..." She shrugged as her voice trailed off. "But that's all topic for another day, I think."

As much as she had been present during the construction of the club, it was still strange to see Elysium in it's off hours. There was something too bright about it, too quiet. "But this? This is my baby, I suppose. A place to call my own even if it doesn't share my name. It's almost more home than my actual apartment, to be honest. We haven't done a Grand Opening just yet, just a soft one, but it's already packed most nights. Let slip some information to the holonet... few of those pop-up overnight parties with no planning that goes viral that the kids are all about nowadays."

Emelie glanced over to Vhiran, looking for... Well, she wasn't quite sure. It wasn't approval, not exactly anyway. She just wanted him to see. And of course, to introduce him to the rest of the family. At the end of the day that's probably what she and the others that made up The Exchange really could be considered. As dysfunctional and everything else they might be considered, their bonds were growing quickly and already Emelie knew the list of things she would do for any one of them far out numbered the things she would probably have to put some good thought into first. It felt right adding Vhiran to the list again.

"So, what do you think? Want anything from the bar before we head down to... frak, what are they calling it now? Underworld? The Excave?" Her hand waved it off. "Whatever, you'll see."

[Vhiran Antilles]

What did he think?

That was a question with a million different answers, very few of them useful or relevant. His mind was too busy getting caught up in the way that Emelie sounded. She was so certain. So sure. She had plans. Ambitions. Ventures. Ones that were only just beginning no less. She was talking about brands, about a veritable business empire; and here he was, wearing pretty much the same old clothes day after day because he couldn't even manage to plan an outfit. They could not have been more dissimilar; could not have been more worlds apart. Were this the Vhiran from ten years ago, he would have felt nothing but pride for how resoundingly Emelie had got her life together and made something of herself. The Vhiran of today though kept finding himself distracted by that sentiment, tugged back to the notion that he was exactly the bloody same.

Maybe that was for the best, though. Maybe that was the role he was destined for in all this: a blast from the past, some reliable old relic, a tiny fragment of her whole life to fall back on and fall back in bed with; the naked times equivalent of a comfort blanket. He supposed he could live with that; supposed that if he was going to keep on keeping on with the same old, he might as well do that in a place where he was in good with the boss, right? Bound to be some perks that came along with that; aside from the obvious, of course.

"What I think -" he began slowly, wrestling his mind to focus on the conversation right in front of him. It seemed almost criminal, letting himself get distracted from Emelie Shadowstar like that. He bet that Emelie would have a few choice words and a few choice sultry and seductive glances to give him if she realised it, too. Damn that woman and the power she had over him. Of course, that notion brought with it all kinds of distractions of it's own. What I think is that we should forget the tour, and find somewhere private to tear each other's bloody clothes off.

"- is that you went an' took the somethin' pretty great that you were already, and went an' made it even more... y'know..."

He trailed off, trying to fumble past everything inside his head - including, most importantly, his actual personality - in order to try and find something nice that a normal human being would say. He found himself gesturing vaguely, hand waving in the direction of Emelie's frustratingly distracting curves. Not helping.

He looked away; frowned; shrugged his shoulders a little. Maybe it would be easier if he tried to talk to that light fixing over in the corner rather than Emelie. He sniffed, scrubbing his hand beneath his nose before frowning again, and digging his hands deep into his pockets to keep them still.

"If I were the kind a' person who was good at all that touchy-feely talkin' stuff -" Instead of just the regular hands-on kind of touchy-feely. "- I would probably... y'know. Tell you I was impressed with all this, an' proud a' what you've made a' yourself, an' for yourself, and that kinda stuff. But you know me though, eh? I never -"

His voice faltered; his frown deepened; his eyes glanced in Emelie's direction, making contact with hers for just a second before they dodged away.

"I never really get around to sayin' that sort of stuff, do I? No matter how much I'm always thinkin' it."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

There was something genuine in the smile that formed as he spoke; even at how choppy it was, maybe because of it. People like them, they were good with playing a part or expressing more carnal things. Actual feelings, though? They were muddy and the damn near fact that Vhiran was even trying meant a hell of a lot more than some platitudes. She had expected a simple "It's great, Em." and to leave it there, which would have been more than enough. But an extra step was taken, something of an attempt at bridging the maw between them that still existed even when they couldn't be any physically closer. Vhiran had genuinely seen her at her worst, notwhat most people would consider as such but most vulnerable was certainly something anyone could understand. She had literally nothing when they had first met and now? Now she felt like she was in position to set herself up to take over the whole damn planet if she had a mind to.

"Eventually you do. Sometimes." That same stupid smile was still wearing itself out on her and if she didn't make a change of subjects they were going to either end up having some weirdo pseudo moment that would probably be more awkward than anything else... or she was going to have to quickly find a way to turn off the security feeds inside the club.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to the slicer-kid before we go falling down any black holes."

She thought about tugging his hand along but left it. Physical contact was only going to end one way right now and while she wasn't above giving a show in her younger days, that sort of deal was best left to private moments now.

[Sadie K'Vesh]

There was somethin' nice 'bout havin' a space all your own. Yeah okay so was no big shocker now days that she'd gone an' really situated herself 'board Vitt's ship but that was home and this was hers and that was different. This was... Okay so technically it was the bosslady's joint and all them pretty arse monitors and data streams were all goin' towards servin' her and her fancies and a whole heap of times Sadie weren't actually alone down here but had Nen... but that was all just details and junk. All of them knew that the underside of the Elysium was property number one of Sadie kriffin K'Vesh. Well, okay then, so maybe she was User Zero Two, as the frakkin computer was so apt at remindin' her every time she came walkin' down those steps but she weren't complainin' none.

Still. Her space. Which meant her frakkin' mess. Which meant that if Sadie didn't feel like trashin' the many lil' containers that had made up today's Sullustan takeout lunch then she frakkin' well wasn't gonna. Later though. Weren't gonna risk drippin' no day old sauce on her consoles. No day fresh, neither. Place might look a right down mess but she knew where the trouble makers were and they were far outta knock over range. Vitt was gonna kill her, though. Havin' good rolls without him.

"Jus' our lil' secret, savy?" She threatened the empty little wrapper that had more than enough for sharin'.

Secrets don't stay secret though and THAT was the damn problem with the whole damn verse. Seemed the bosslady had some unexpected visit with some unexpected John that she couldn't make heads or tails of. Looked kinda like Inyos with that damn coat though but the blonde hair...

The blonde hair...

"Son offa kath."

[Vhiran Antilles]

They said said that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Vhiran knew from experience that the adage was pretty damned accurate. It was something he'd learned mostly by trial and error, having made a habit of scorning a lot of women across the years. If he ever bothered to stop and think about it, it probably all started with Emelie: he'd cocked things up big time there, and on some level he had probably decided he didn't deserve nice things, or happiness, or anything like that; so he swaggered his way around the galaxy, burning every bridge within reach as he went.

It'd worked out pretty well, all things considered; for the last decade at least. Worked pretty well as a strategy if you never planned on returning to the same place twice. Sure, made it a pain in the ass to learn your way around, or find a bar that you really liked; but he'd seen a lot of the galaxy, and had screwed - and screwed over - a whole heck of a lot of people. The only part where the plan started to fall apart is if you found yourself in a situation like this: being herded into a secret basement room by one of those scorned women, with another of them lying in wait for you.

"Bloody hell."

Vhiran's hand gripped around the railing of the stairway that led down into the nest of computers and hardware, thoughts swimming through his head as he froze in place, wide-eyed. It seemed impossible, but the moment that profanity and that accent tumbled out of her mouth, there wasn't any doubt. How long had it been, since the last time he'd seen her on Nar Shaddaa? Six years or so? And somehow, in defiance of all kinds of odds and statistics, she was here as well. First Emelie Shadowstar; and now Big Sid.

Suddenly, the stories that Emelie had explained to him earlier began to resolve into some sort of clarity. Emelie had told him about a slicer kid that she'd helped rescue from Nar Shaddaa; some kind of computer prodigy that made her whole Exchange operation come together. He hadn't even for a moment considered the possibility that it might be the same too smart for her own good, feisty, adorable little brat he'd known and run with back then. The bottom fell out of his stomach as he relived what Emelie had said: the brief touches on the abuse and brutal treatment she'd been on the receiving end before Emelie's pet hunter had shown up to help her out. That was his fault, in part at least: that was the fate he'd left her to when he'd abandoned her; that was where the life he'd helped her into had left.

"My gods, Sadie."

It felt almost like slow motion as he descended down the stairs, the twisting knot of guilt growing tighter with each footfall. The only thing that made it any easier was the fact that she was staring at him in disbelief; made it easier to find her eyes with his sorrow-filled own. He stopped as soon as he reached the floor below, keeping his distance as if she were some kind of startled animal. When his voice finally emerged, all the swagger and confidence was gone; just a soft half-whisper and a rough undertone left behind.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't know."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

For all the shock and upset that was passing between Sadie and Vhiran, Emelie felt just as dumbfounded. Her eyes rolled skyward to glare at whatever cosmic entity thought this was hilarious. For all the vastness of an entire Galaxy it seemed The Exchange was doomed to play Six Degrees of Ceto Rübezahl - Which wasn't even funny because of where the hells they were all located. Nevermind the fact this was more like one degree or no degrees at all. They were all on some sort of straight line moving at different speeds at different times, doomed to collide again and again. Or maybe it was a circle. Frak, Emelie didn't know how to think of it at that moment. All she needed now was for one of her cousins to show up, and it probably wouldn't even be one of the fun ones.

The same guilt that had welled up when Sadie had first step foot on Cloud City threatened to rise up again. The kid had enough damn surprises lately what with Atton pulling the I am your uncle business on her and that Jedi showing up. For all the trouble the girl had been in the past, it all was a distant memory now and Emelie wanted nothing more than to give the kid as easy of a life as possible. No here she was parading something that looked suspiciously like an old wound. Force, if you exist and don't hate me, don't let this be as awkward as I know you can make it. The last thing her little family needed was something like that to pop up. Not that she particularly thought Vhiran would go for someone as young as Sadie but the way the galaxy liked screwing everyone around, you never knew.

A slew of comments were on the tip of her tongue, they were all obvious in nature and would have done nothing to help anyone just then and so in some miracle Emelie managed to hold onto her bit of self control and stayed silent. A small comm was readied in her hand, though. Frak knew how this was going to play out and if things got ugly, she was going to need backup of the surly bounty hunter sort.

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Oooh bloody seven hells she'd been ready for him. Not that Sadie was all that great with words and the like but she was thinkin' up a right ton of ones she'd been wantin' t' say to the ruttin' bastard next time their paths crossed. How could you just up an' bail on me? I was a stupid teenager! I could have DIED on m' onsies! Y're lucky Bog 'n em found me!

Last bit of inner tirade was a soberin' thought. 'Kay so maybe not all that lucky in hindsight. Maybe that was the rub of it. If Sadie had never stopped workin' with Vhiran's crew then she'd never have gone and even met Bog-frakin-'el and the gorram band. Or at least she'd have her mentor type guy to tell her that the Zabrak seemed like bad news. Bloody deathstick smokin' bastard always seemed to know how people really were after just one meetin'.

That look on Vhiran's face meant that the bosslady had gone and told the gran' ol' tale of how Sadie had almost gotten turned t' paste too. Peachy. Just kriffin' ryshcate and sunshine for everyone.

Sadie didn't give no care if she was all shocked and mad lookin'. 'Bout time some of that inner emotion crap came tumblin' out on someone else. She weren't a violent type of soul, no more than most folks but damned if she didn't take a few steps and if her arm didn't raise just so a fist could come 'round and clock 'ol grumpface on the jaw.

"That's f' kickin' me out on th' streets. Alla them jobs I help you pull an' that was th' thanks I get?"

Frakkin hells did her hand hurt and Sadie shook it t' try and make some of the ache go away. Does that gose even kriffin work? One hells of a deep breath was taken before she plunked herself back down in her chair and glanced at the bosslady.

"Sorry boss. Done now."

[Vhiran Antilles]

It didn't hurt as much as it should have. Or rather, not as much as Vhiran wished it did. He deserved it after all. Sadie was right: he'd turned his back on the kind of person who deserved it the least. What he'd thought a few days ago was an opportunity for closure, and what had seemed to have transformed into an opportunity for atonement and second chances, was rapidly revealing it's true nature: a grand tour of all Vhiran's past mistakes. The way today was shaping up, his ex-wife was probably waiting outside in the corridor to kick him in the balls.

At least with Emelie, he'd known where to begin. He'd had all these years of guilt and time to rehearse in his mind what he might say; work out how to convince her that the blame was entirely his. With Sadie though, it wasn't; or at least, not entirely. There was a fine line between reasons and excuses, and trying to explain this one away would sure as hell straddle it; but there were circumstances there, maybe even mitigating ones. Still selfish, still foolish, but still: reasons.

Something tugged at the edge of his of his perception; something on the back of his neck prickled; something in his mind urged him to turn and look up the stairs. For a fleeting moment he thought he was looking for Emelie: perhaps looking for her to intervene, or perhaps looking to see the scorn in her eyes that he knew he deserved. Instead he saw something else. Someone else. Two someones in fact, but only one of them mattered.

"You."

In one fluid motion Vhiran turned, coat flaring out, a blaster appearing in his hand. Without a waver of hesitation he aimed it back up the stairs he'd descended, squarely at the chest of yet another blast from the past.

"You bloody son of a bitch."

[Nen Lev'i]

"Oh gods, what did I do?"

The words tumbled out of Nen's mouth before he even understood what was going on. It was a good thing to, because about half a second later realisation had dawned, and he completely lost all ability to speak; and maybe a little bit of waist down bodily function control as well. Here he was, minding his own business, showing up a little late to meet the "new guy" - how great was it that Nen wasn't the new guy any more?! - because he'd been finishing up errands in the office and because Emelie had asked him to grab her a caf on the way down; and suddenly there was a blaster aimed up the stairs at him.

Not just any blaster, either. Well okay, the blaster wasn't all that significant, but the arm holding it was. That arm was attached to one Vhiran Antilles, who had the rare distinction of being one of the earliest people that Nen remembered meeting. Not because Vhiran had known him when he was just a tiny Nen instead of an adult Nen, mind you: more because of the whole amnesia, not remembering anything about himself prior to a few years ago thing. Vhiran had been one of the mercs, or bounty hunters, or crooks, or whatever the heck it was that he did, one of them, who Doctor Arlan had known and done whatever it was that he did back then, and just - it was just really weird, okay?

But then relief came all of a sudden, on the far side of a flinch as Vhiran Antilles pulled back on the trigger and sent a bolt of energy racing up the stairs. Partly, the relief was because the bolt was clearly stun energy, and while that wasn't exactly unpleasant, it wasn't typically fatal - not unless you were suffering from a heart condition, or had a really weird allergy or something. The other, arguably more important part, was the fact that the bolt didn't hit Nen at all, but rather clattered into the thigh of Atton Kira, the other man who'd just entered, buckling his leg beneath him and sending him tumbling down the stairs.

A huge sigh of relief escaped from Nen, hand clutching his chest as he slumped against the stairway railing.

"Gods, Vhiran," he muttered, loud enough for his voice to carry down the stairway. "I thought you were gonna shoot me!"

A pleasant smile perked it's way onto his face. "Ello, by the way. Good to see you, an' all that."

Wait, hang on a minute.

Nen's eyes widened. Realisation dawned.

Vhiran Antilles just shot someone.

Why were people getting shot?

[Vhiran Antilles]

Emelie Shadowstar. Sadie K'Vesh. Atton Kira. Nen Lev'i.

Vhiran could feel his heart racing in his chest. He could feel the world closing in around him. This wasn't right. This wasn't normal. This wasn't natural. Something was going on here, some sort of game; some sort of cosmic mindfuck that the universe had decided to throw his way, just for kicks. Or maybe this wasn't even reality at all. Maybe this was what people meant when they said their life flashed before their eyes before they died; maybe he was lying bloodied in a ditch somewhere. Maybe this was some sort of drug and alcohol delirium, and it was only a matter of time before he woke up cuddled around yet another empty bottle. Or maybe it was more than that; maybe his mind had gone and fractured itself all over again. Maybe he'd never even left Kalresh, and this was all just some figment of his sanity-challenged psyche, drawing on the same few characters over and over because his fellow inmates were the only references he could draw on.

The heel of his empty hand ground into his temple. "Do you 'ave any employees that don't already 'ave reasons to 'ate me?" he asked exasperated, casting his voice up in Emelie's direction. He thought he saw Nen Lev'i's hand shift, like he was answering some sort of question in class. Not bloody now, kid.

Vhiran didn't wait for an answer. Tossing the gun away so that nobody got any ideas about him needing to be shot as well, he grabbed for the scruff of Atton's shirt, wrenching him from where he'd tumbled into a slightly more accessible position, back pressed up against the metal stairs.

"This nasty little bastard 'ere is the reason I left, Sadie."

His voice was a shout now; a bellow that swelled to fill the entirety of the secret space in which he found himself. His expression alternated between a smile and a grin, eyes a little wild as he alternated between glances at Sadie, and glares at the victim in his grasp. It had only been a grazing stun: not enough to render his entire nervous system inactive, just enough to numb out his leg; Vhiran was relying on the tumble to negate any prospect of him fighting back and running away. It was a handy tactic, something he'd picked up on the way through his life: stunning people wasn't always that useful; there were times when you didn't want to shut down a body's ability to feel sensations and pain.

"Y'see, him an' me? We 'ad a deal. Tidy little arrangement. Every once in a while, he'd slip me a job, an' I'd get it done, no questions. An' heist here, a shakedown there; usual fair for a man in my like a' life. In return, he'd slip me intel every once in a while. He'd -"

His voice faltered, eyes changing, gaze looking up to find Emelie for just a moment.

"He'd tell me about you. Let me know you were doin' okay. Kept tabs. Made sure I knew you were safe."

The muscles in his jaw bunched, eyes finding Sadie now.

"Until I met you. Then suddenly, this arrangement we 'ad became subject to change. Y'see, this bastard piece of rancid garbage here? He weren't all that fond a' me an' you runnin' around together. Tolerated it for a little while, maybe figured that between the two of us, one'd just drift on at some point or another. But eventually, he comes to me, all smug smiles and shady looks. Gives me an ultimatum: leave the kid alone, or never 'ear a whisper about Emelie ever again. He made me -"

He trailed off, deep angry breaths drawn into his lungs. His lips curled into a snarl.

"You made me choose between the kid I cared about, an' the woman that I -"

Even now he couldn't bring himself to say it; the word he said to Emelie so easily, except when it actually mattered. His grip tightened on the scruff of Atton's shirt, the other hand reeling back and balling into a fist.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't cave your smarmy little face in an' spare us all the ordeal of your acquaintance, you manipulative little bastard."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

"He's pro'ly th' only reason I was able t' deck ya an' I ain't still bleedin' out on Nar Shaddaa."

Was a bit of a moment there where everythin' had seemed to go belly up and Sadie figured she'd lend a voice since it sure as frak looked like if the bosslady facepalmed any harder those two body parts of hers were gonna end up one. Hilarious as all get that would be, would probably make her right cross and Sadie had no real reasons to let that happen.

Atton was a downright scary person sometimes, but he probably knew that. All those tabs he kept on folks were mighty handy in bringin' 'em together when it suited it seemed. Or maybe not. No tellin' what it was that brought Vhiran 'round these parts in the first place and the fact he knew Em - apparently more than just a bit, surprise surprise - surely weren't no mistake. He knew Nen too, apparently. Well weren't it a small verse after all.

"An' if anyone's got dibs on shootin' him, pretty sure it's his bloody niece, yeah?" Not that she would. Probably. Mostly.

For th' love of all... She'd just gotten used t' thinkin' of Atton as Uncle Atton and now another bit of trivia of him steppin' in and tryin' to help her out but makin' her life worse for it. At least he hadn't told Vittore to stay away. Yet. Uncle or no, Atton better have known better than that by now. Still, she'd learned he had pushed and pulled at the strings of everythin' at times in keepin' her life movin', but damn if she didn't feel like he was one hell of a manipulative bastard just like Vhiran said.

She wanted to go an' curse up a storm or ask rather meanly if there was some gorram part of her life that Atton hadn't planned the hell out of to land them all here. Complete with all implications of everythin' that had happened t' her, recent events included. After all, she hadn't gotten hurt, she wouldnt'a ended up here now would she? Not in person no how. But nah, that was too frakkin cruel and no way was Atton that much of a bastard.

Still was irkin' though. Knowin' a man was adjustin' things in your life and couldn't really you know... put her somewhere nice at least? Vhiran hadn't been no father figure or great hero or the type of guy you really went and looked to for some sort of moral compass but she'd done okay with him just the same. Atton told him to frak off but he couldn't do the same with Bog? The frell was that about?

The more she thought about it all the more mad she got and those blue eyes of hers could look downright icy at times. Probably did now as they turned on her lone family member.

Standin' up from the seat this round hurt. Probably on account of a whole heap of tension that was buildin' in her shoulders makin' her move a bit unnaturally and it tuggin' at bits of her that still weren't too keen on bein' shifted around so much.

A deep breath was taken, readyin' herself for the bits she needed to say and gainin' that effort to keep in what didn't.

"You," she pointed at Vhiran. "We're good. You kill my uncle though an' that's gonna go right out th' airlock an' I will sick my boyfriend on your Alderaanian arse if I don't feel like comin' for y' first."

"You," she pointed at Em this round. "Force sake woman, do some background checks on folks before y' go prancin' anyone else in. Supposed t' be some sort of all seein', all knowin' info broker now. This sorta dren is downright embarassin'."

Which left...

"An' you." Atton. "You an' me? We got some more talkin' t' do, but I'll come when I'm ready for it. For th' meantime... Stop meddlin'. Ain't y' job no more, savy?"

Okay not entirely true. As she was walkin' out she stopped at Nen.

"We're always good. Watch th' comms for me? I gotta get some fresh air." She thought 'bout askin' him what they should do for lunch tomorrow but all things considered if Sadie stuck around much longer she'd probably be yellin' or somethin'.

Her peace said, Sadie did what she did when things got too damned crazy. Bailed. Nothin' permanent, but damn if she didn't need t' go watch some trashy old holoshows with Vitt or somethin' just then.

[Vhiran Antilles]

Uncle?

That. There was some. There was some sense there.

Vhiran grimaced, trying to frown his way through the thoughts of a mind that was struggling to process. It explained a lot, in some sort of warped and backwards way. Overprotectiveness. He guessed that was the way you were supposed to get around family.

And at least Sadie knew now, right? And there was forgiveness he realised, as he watched her disappear and the door close behind her. We're good. More of something he didn't deserve. But right now? Right now he didn't mind so much. Right now he was glad to have one less piece of crushing guilt to deal with; his damned lungs seemed to be crushing themselves all on his own. Gods, he could go for a smoke right about now.

Vhiran's hand went for his chest, reaching for where the deathsticks could be, but they didn't quite manage it. A step was staggered backwards, his frown deepening. What the hell was this? Why had the air got so hot and close in here all of a sudden?

He felt a tightening in his chest. A cough worked it's way out of his lungs. He caught it with a hand. A spatter of crimson. What the bollocks is -?

Vhiran felt himself sway; stagger again. He barely managed to catch himself against the stairway railing; barely managing to split his descent towards the floor into two slightly less painful stages. The room began to swim and swirl around him as he felt his body thunk against the deck plates.

Bloody hell, he thought to himself, as his consciousness slowly drifted away.

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie had heard tell a time or two that a good walk about was one of them cures for when you were agitated. Load of sithspit, that. Maybe it worked for other folks but it sure as frak weren't workin' out for her. All it served purpose was to leave her alone with thoughts and that just made things all kinds of worse. Yeah, okay, so life was workin' out pretty shiny for her now and truth be told she wasn't 'bout t' go wishin' things had been different and risk changin' the current state. For one in her gorram force forsaken life she could genuinely say she was happy with things just the way they were. Fair enough she could make due with a little less blasts from the past showin' up all unannounced like but you take the good with the bad.

Atton though, she was gettin' a right big picture that there'd been a whole lot of stuff that he weren't tellin' folks and a whole lot of holy crap coincidences that were probably really just machinations brought on by one of the most secretly influential bastards in the entire verse. She had to give him his due for that, was down right applaudable to think 'bout if you weren't one of his game pieces bein' moved 'round. There seemed to be some sort of greater good attempts bein' made and she couldn't fault the guy for tryin' to cover her arse without so much as lettin' her know he existed but kriffin' hells it was downright infuriatin'.

She was reconin' that sit down was gonna have to happen sooner rather than later. Sadie was gonna make that uncle of hers buy her the most expensive damn whiskey on Cloud City and they were gonna plop down in some chairs and she was gonna get the full gorram story out of him. Make him come clean on everythin' he'd done that even remotely involved the likes of her and probably anybody else in their li'l group. No more ruttin' secrets. He should see the wisdom in that, if today hadn't gone and proven the point then Sadie would make it clear as a sunny day on Tatooine.

Weren't gonna happen today though. She'd be more likely t' throw the bottle at his head than help drink it at this point. It was probably an irrational sort of anger she was dealin' with, one of them things where your head was sussin' out all the logical reasons why y' were and didn't need to be and if you were a better person you'd have cooled your jets by now and been done with it. Not this time though, she was buildin' up like some sort of little time bomb. Maybe I shouldn't talk t' Vitt. Last thing she wanted to do was explode all at him in some right undeservin' manner.

But nope, feet were faster than good ideas sometimes and she was already in the hangar and...

"Nope." She pointed at the person who was pretty much the polar damned opposite of the good Cap'n and let that word draw out nice and long. "Not now. Ain't in no mood for none o' that ancient passive 'gressive wisdom dren."

[Inyos Aamoran]

Inyos' mouth opened as if to speak; but then the wave of emotions struck him, unbridled negative sentiments rolling off Sadie as she stalked her way into the room. In moments like this, he was grateful for the gifts and perceptions that the Force provided him with. Somewhat sheltered in the Temple, and somewhat of a loner by necessity in the years since, people and their mannerisms had often been something of an elusive mystery. He relied upon moments such as these, moments where people's emotions overwhelmed their body's efforts to keep them concealed; when their feelings shouted so loudly through the Force that he could literally taste them.

"Something is wrong."

His head cocked slowly to the side, brow furrowing into a frown as he tried to peer into Sadie's eyes; tried to piece together what might have caused this apparent reaction. It did not look as if she had been crying: he took that as a positive sign. Anger and frustration was one thing, but the kind of devastation that brought tears to the eyes of people was far more dangerous, and far harder to address. The lack of tears also excused Vittore Montegue from culpability, as did the reason that she was here - a location where he was highly likely to be. Inyos didn't quite know the extent of Sadie's relationship with the hunter Captain, but he had accidentally felt enough peripheral overflow to gain a sense of how important it was to her.

Something else, then. Something to cause hurt to her personally; but not a matter of the heart. He hesitated for a moment, second-guessing his natural impulse, before surrendering to it. A hand reached out before her, resting gently upon her shoulder, a sign of reassurance that he'd watched other people perform. Drawing upon the ebb and flow of the Force around him, he focused his own inner meditation and calm, channelling it through his bones and through that contact, trying to instil the faintest sense of tranquillity amid Sadie's conflicted emotions.

"You are my Padawan, Saidra. If you require it, I am always here to listen."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Whatever fight Sadie was itchin' on havin' with inner emotions or a bag of crisps kinda drained away when Inyos put it that way. It probably had something to do with the use of her full name, or the fact that the Jedi was apparently one of them folks that seemed so oblivious to things and yet aware of them that you couldn't help but like the guy. Sadie figured there was somethin' he was doin' with all that Force stuff to help diffuse, but she'd be lyin' if it weren't appreciated. As much as she had said this weren't the time for his musin' and such, she did have to remember that she'd agreed to let the guy help her out. Which apparently turned her into his... Pada- what now?

"Th' frell's that?" Yeah, so still not so great with the talkin' proper thing. Sadie did give it a go around him, though. He was a respectable sort of bein' and that lent for some respectableness. "Sorry, I mean, that word? The Pada-thingie."

She weren't quite calm yet but avoidin' the subject was grand and swell for now.

[Inyos Aamoran]

"Oh."

It was a strange notion to come to terms with: the idea that general knowledge of the Jedi Order was so much more absent than they had been in Inyos' youth. At the height of the Clone Wars, everyone knew and understood what a Padawan was. The teenage protégés of the Jedi Knights; the young Commanders of the Republic Army. It was something that the young often idolised and aspired to be; and something that the old often struggled to accept, but very quickly learned to respect once they saw the skill and dedication those Padawan brought to bear.

But for a Jedi, it was far more than that. On Ossus, they used the term so casually: a form of address for all Jedi who had not yet achieved Knighthood. For Inyos however, the bond between master and apprentice was deep and complex: and while the Jedi Order always frowned upon attachments, it was hard to experience that relationship without beginning to think of student and mentor as some kind of family. For Inyos, the pain of losing his first Padawan was, he imagined, as devastating to him as a father losing his son.

In the time that Inyos had spent out of touch with the galaxy however, that general knowledge had faded. Saidra had no comprehension of the kind of bond that such a dynamic typically entailed; and suddenly Inyos found a stab of guilt in his gut, realising that he had presumed a certain agreement to such a way of life that Saidra had never truly understood.

His hand lingered on her shoulder, but shifted slightly, rolling from the flat surface of Saidra's collarbone to rest against the upper part of her sleeve. It was another thing that he had witnessed, but he did not remember choosing to do it: it simply occurred, some buried instinct perhaps; and continued for a few moments before Inyos used the gentle pressure to guide Saidra aside, finding them a convenient surface upon which to sit.

"A Padawan is -"

Inyos trailed off, a new frown furrowing his brow. He glanced away at the moment, studying the hangar's polished deck for answers, as if somehow the Force would manifest the correct answers, neatly transcribed across his surface. But for all his familiarity with Jedi teachings, all the lessons he had learned, and experiences he had gained; none of that information was worth imparting. Very little of the old ways of the Jedi mattered any longer. The question Saidra sought to convey was not one of Padawans past: she wished to understand what the word meant.

"In the old days of the Jedi Order," he began, adopting the same gently informative tone that he had once used while explaining the complexities of the Jedi way to his first Padawan, "It was common for children sensitive to the Force to be brought to the Jedi at a very young age. In the temple on Coruscant, I was trained as a Youngling: part of a clan of young students who learned the basics of the Force, of sabercraft, and of the Jedi Code. Each Jedi began their journey to Knighthood in such a way; but not all progressed in the same manner. Every now and again, a Jedi Knight or Jedi Master would seek to deepen their relationship with the Force by training the next generation: they would choose one of the Younglings with whom they felt a special connection, and that Jedi would become their apprentice; their Padawan."

The more words that tumbled from Inyos' lips, the more something else crept into his tone, distorting the factual and dry nature of his words; something soft and wistful, some strange modest pleasure taken from the joy of speaking of fond memories.

"I was taken as a Padawan by a Jedi Master named Andor Tyree. I was not his first Padawan: by the time I became his apprentice, he was an old and wise Master, who had dedicated his life to the Jedi Order, and the service of the Republic. He was my mentor, not only teaching me the ways of the Force and the teachings of our predecessors, but also helping to shape the man that I would become. He taught me patience and understanding; he was there for each of my successes, and each of my failings; he was the hand that caught my arm every time I stumbled and fell, and is - was - one of my deepest, closest friends."

A flicker of sadness tugged at the wrinkles that gathered at the corner of Inyos eyes, a subtle reaction to that necessary correction. Was. By now, Andor Tyree was most surely dead; just was almost every member of the Order that Inyos had ever known. Perhaps some would see that as an achievement, a testament to his ability to survive. Inyos saw it as an oversight: not a relic spared from the destruction of the Order, but rather one forgotten and overlooked. For a moment, he wondered about the manner in which Andor must have met his end: cut down by the very same clones that had adored and respected him as a General only moments before. Such a sorrowful tragedy; such an affront to the way in which the Force was destined to flow.

"I became a Jedi Knight at the dawn of the Clone Wars, and I took a Padawan of my own shortly after. His name was Lúka Jibral, I taught him to the best of my ability, but if I am honest -" A twinge of regret sparked along the edge of Inyos' words. "- I failed him. We survived the initial stages of the Jedi Purge, and went on the run: but I was so fixated on the old ways, so unwilling to adapt, that I did not do enough to prepare him for the manner in which our status in the galaxy had changed. Lúka died heroically: gave his life to protect me and many other Jedi refugees from the Imperials pursuing us, giving us the opportunity to escape. It happened shortly before we first met, back on Nar Shaddaa, and -"

Inyos trailed off and glanced downwards, finding that his hands had nested together, resting gently between his knees. He forced himself to look in Saidra's direction; to look into his prospective apprentice's eyes.

"These last days, I have begun to wonder if perhaps the Force brought us together intentionally, and I was simply too closed-minded to understand the signs. Or perhaps the Force's intention was simply to acquaint us with each other, waiting instead for this moment now. I may not have been able to prepare my last Padawan to live in a galaxy in the state that ours had taken; but those are skills you already possess. Perhaps what I can offer you is wisdom and guidance that might otherwise become lost if it is not shared; and in turn, perhaps your own strengths will rub off upon me, and help me to understand my new place in all this."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Kinda sounded like some sort of fairy tale, laughable fiction until you went and realized it was actually somebody's life. She weren't sure whether to feel foolish or sad for not knowin' though. It weren't like it was knowledge she'd done gone and sought out but Sadie knew enough about the Jedi to know that at some point in their fairly recent history they'd practically been wiped out; wouldn't surprise her none if a lot of their ways and knowledge and the like were knocked off the map too.

As much as stuff he was sayin' shoulda been sad, Sadie couldn't help but see that small smile on Inyos' face as he talked 'bout days gone by. Was a downright shame that the verse had messed up people like this, turnin' them into an enemy for much of the verse. She was pretty sure that like most groups of folks there were probably less agreeable ones than him, but it kinda seemed a crime and a half that more people out there just didn't believe in tryin' to be good. Not that she was one to talk. Good weren't one of those words Sadie figured really applied to the likes of her.

His sort of loss was a complete unknown to her too. Not that there weren't folks in the verse she cared about that hurt when they were gone, but leavin' and such was a far cry from watchin' 'em die. The lesson weren't a total loss on her, though. To Inyos the whole Padawan thing meant somethin' other than just Person I'm teachin'. There was a bond of trust and the like. And that's what he'd called her. This weren't just some simple Jedi mentor sort of deal, at least not to Inyos. She'd kinda taken that for granted.

Sadie glanced back towards the Tide, Vitt was probably inside and she still felt remnants of her earlier agitation. Was a damn nice idea to just go and have a beer and unload but maybe there was somethin' to this whole Will of the Force thing. Maybe there was a damn reason Inyos was lurkin' round the hangar just when she came in needin' to vent. She still weren't ready to gripe 'bout Vhiran and him leavin' and it bein' cause of Atton on account of 'Ran's love of the bosslady - but was kinda nice lettin' someone else talk.

"A'right, guess that sounds shiny. Ain't too keen on lettin' the verse make decisions for me but if it ain't The Force then it's been someone else so who the frak am I t' argue anymore, yeah? Padawan it is." She tried to offer one of them reasurrin' smiles but was sure it fell short. "So, y' became one of them Knights at the beginnin' of the Clone Wars? Damn. That was like... a frakton of years ago, weren't it?"

[Inyos Aamoran]

Inyos wasn't entirely sure what unit of measurement a frakton represented, but he made the easy assumption that it was a large quantity, and understood the assertion that Saidra was making. That was something else that Inyos found hard to remember: that for many of the people that he encountered, the Clone Wars was a distant piece of history, either from early childhood or before they were even born. Thirty years had passed, near enough; and somehow that time occupied a paradox, feeling like an eternity one moment, and a blink of an eye the next.

Establishing a perspective on history was hard for Inyos. While he had endured the years on Ord Ithil, they had not aged him. He knew in his mind that a decade had passed, simple calculus based on the year he had travelled there, and the year of his rescue; but a decade was too much time to fathom. A decade was the difference between Younglings and Knights; a whole swathe of people progressing from infancy to the border of adulthood. Had his first Padawan survived, he would be a man by now, older than Saidra even; yet he still thought of him as a child, still thought of his death as a recent event.

For a moment he wondered just how old Saidra really was. She had been just a child that blink of an eye ago, but with all the time that had passed, it was hard to be sure. Not a question that most women responded favourably to being asked either, he had discovered the hard way: Inyos' efforts to determine whether or not Miss Shadowstar had been alive before the Clone Wars had not gone over well.

Carefully he adjusted his expression, a subtle quirk of his eyebrow cast towards Saidra.

"I'm not that old," he offered, the hint of defensive that crept into his tone not entirely voluntary. His eyes narrowed, as another notion occurred. "How old do you think I am?"

[Sadie K'Vesh]

His question got a smile out of her, vergin' on impish but she couldn't quite get that far past her own actual emotions. She considered for a bit answerin' somethin' downright mean. A hundred? That hint of naiveness that made Inyos endearin' also made him one hell of a target for pickin' on. They weren't that close yet, though. Maybe after they helped each other from fallin' on their faces a few times.

"I dunno," couldn't help that bit of defensive tone she borrowed from him. "Forty, maybe?"

She cringed as if it were an insult. Sadie weren't good at this sort of thing. Frak, she barely could figure out when she had been born. A guess or two could be shot at it based on some known facts and tidbits but closest she probably got was within a few years, never mind day or season or anythin' like that. Inyos had talked about when Jedi used to take young kids and start teachin 'em. She wondered if half of them knew when they were born, either. The Jedi didn't seem like the kind for cake and juice on your name day.

"Late... thirties?" Sadie gave it another go before she could even register any sort of reaction to her first guess.

Then her head was runnin' away and she was tryin' to figure out how old the rest of the folks she knew were. Bosslady carried herself strange like she could be some sort of university age or one of those magic folk who were well into their forties but didn't look a damn bit like it. Vitt she didn't even try and figure out. Nen had to be like her age, yeah? Yeah, that sounded right.

"But that... that can't be right."

[Inyos Aamoran]

Late thirties?

Inyos had spent far too long alone, in hiding, and in the Jedi to be all that worried about anything quite so vain as how old people thought he was; but he couldn't quite help the small flicker of a smile as that suggestion tumbled out of her lips.

"I was born fifty-three years ago," he explained, something creeping into his voice that might have seemed like smugness coming from anyone else. "I understand your confusion though; I spent several years in a sort of -"

- shadowy prison fuelled by the Dark Side of the Force?

That was the true answer, but not an especially helpful one, all things considered.

"- stasis, alone on a world in the Unknown Regions. I still experienced the passage of time, but some... complicated environmental factors stopped my body from ageing as rapidly as it should have. Sort of a -" He gestured a swirling motion with his hands, fumbling for the right choice of words. "- healing effect. A byproduct of the planet trying to keep me alive."

From the way his shoulders shifted, and from the way his focus had returned to the cracks and seams between the panels of deck plating underfoot, it was clear that it was not a topic that Inyos felt entirely comfortable discussing openly; and yet this was his Padawan. Most important of all between a master and apprentice was trust: and such things were earned through openness and honesty.

"The planet was a nexus of Dark Side energies, that -"

He stopped himself, realising that he was taking for granted Sadie's knowledge of the fundamentals he had learned as a Youngling. Taking a breath he began again, trying to compress those concepts into the simplest terms he could.

"The Force, as the Jedi understand it at least, has different facets. The Jedi seek to channel the Light Side of the Force, which responds to pure thoughts and emotions, like hope and serenity. The Light Side has the ability to heal, to soothe, and to aid a Jedi in ways that not even I fully understand. The Dark Side is it's opposite, born of dark passions; of fear, anger, hate, and pain. The Dark Side dominates, corrupts, and seduces. The Jedi's ancient enemy, the Sith, used the Dark Side to satisfy their lust for power and to conquer the galaxy time and time again."

Something flickered in Inyos' eyes, a flash of memory at how painfully first hand he had learned these lessons. "It's worst facet is how easy a path it is to walk down: those who crave power find it easily from the Darkness; but it consumes and corrupts them, twisting them into something unrecognisable. I journeyed to this planet beside my closest friend, a Padawan named Mandan Hidatsa. The Dark Side twisted him, preyed upon his fears and turned him against me. It did the same to a woman we encountered there as well; the mother of your -" He chose the word carefully. "- friend, Captain Montegue. The Dark Side used Mandan and Emaryn as puppets, pitting them against me in the hopes of corrupting me as well. They -"

His shoulders sagged.

"They did not survive, and I was not able to escape it's corruption either. It was Captain Montegue, his father and brother, and other associates of theirs who eventually found me and freed me; brought me back to the galaxy. I believe that is part of why the Force led me here, to Bespin: to atone for my failings, and to do so around those who have seen me at my worst, and are -"

Another pause.

"- capable of intervening should I be at risk of falling again."

It was an admission with far more gravity than Inyos had intended. Perhaps it was even too much truth; but Inyos could not bring himself to conceal it. Perhaps knowing would make Saidra too hesitant to accept his teachings; but better she know the truth now and make her decisions wisely with all the information - it was Inyos' understanding that there had been far too many secrets in Saidra's life already.

It had proven more beneficial than he expected as well. Something about speaking the words, confiding them in another had shed a little of the weight from his shoulders. His eyes turned towards Saidra, and wondered if he might somehow be able to offer her a little of the same comfort. A whisper in his mind, a memory of adages and proverbs read long ago floated through his thoughts, a certain warmth forming in his chest as the ancient and familiar words offered a small flicker of comfort.

"There is a Jedi Sage from centuries ago, whose transcribed words of wisdom often bring me some small amount of comfort. One that stuck with me from my studies at the Jedi Temple was this: Secrets and dark thoughts have great power when kept in the shadows; but they weaken and crumble when confronted with the Light of day."

His expression softened, a gentle curiosity tugging at his brows.

"Perhaps there would be some wisdom in sharing whatever is troubling you. We are far more likely to vanquish it together than alone."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

And Sadie thought her life screwed up. She could suss out that there was more to the story, but she got the parts and bits she needed to hear and what was left unspoken was obviously somethin' that Inyos had trouble with. She couldn't blame him; it was one thing to say that Bog had tortured her, another to describe the way the blade felt as it slid through the layers of her skin or the days of bare consciousness that followed. Was a trauma, set a mark on a person that couldn't be seen and while the experiences weren't the same it took one to know one and Sadie recognized that sort of deep rooted pain. Seemed her and Inyos had a bit in common in that they both were survivors of a sort, but neither really felt they deserved to be. Maybe there really was somethin' to what he had said about them just needing to meet way back when but the current back and forth could only happen now, they had to change, they had to go through stuff.

At least now it made a whole heap of sense as to why it looked like Inyos hadn't really gone and aged much since she had first met him.

He weren't tellin' her this stuff as some sort of frack uppery competition, though. She wasn't even sure it was to try and let her know that he got it. But there was somethin' still good 'bout knowin' it. She'd met other Jedi, even one that recognized her for what she was not too long ago, back when she was caught up in that Ssi-ruuk madness. It would have been real easy for him to ask her to come along to wherever it was that they were holed up nowadays. She'd considered regrettin' not goin', not gettin' a clean slate and some real protection from Bog and all but some part of her knew she'd hate it. Stuck with the goodie-goodies that she didn't belong among. Hell, even agreein' to let Inyos train her was surprisin', but it'd felt right. Guess she knew why. He'd gotten a bit too close to true darkness, felt what real evil felt like and had - if she'd heard right - for a time fallen. If anyone was gonna get her, if anyone was gonna understand her mindset, it was probably someone who had to go through that and managed to come back out the other end.

His little bit of sage wisdom went kinda over her head, though. Far as she was seein', secrets - the big ones, not ones 'bout secret lunch foods - were bad whether hidden or out in the open. Sure they crumbled when they were In the Light but they often were bastards of gorram things whose debris caused a frakton of mass destruction on their way down.

Annnd there it came. The peace branch offered and extended. Share and share alike, kiddo. Yeah, okay, she could do that now that things had cooled a smidge and weren't in danger of causin' her own bit of destruction.

"Ain't much. Nothin' really. Em's got a new face 'round. Find out it's - shocker - somebody I used t' run with when I was a teenage screwup. Then one day he up an' basically told me t' frak off by vanishin' without warnin'. Give y' one guess who was behind that." Sadie sighed, fingertips and head itchin' for a cigarra that she hadn't wanted since she'd tried to run off herself. Hadn't gone and bought a new pack nor the stuff to roll her own. Probably for the best given the bad habit but felt more like bad luck.

"I just don't get 'im. Yeah yeah, I get th' whole overprotective uncle bit but some steps just seem like too damn far and then other steps ain't even there. Yeah Vhiran ain't no golden boy but he weren't twistin' my arm outta the socket whenever he got huffy either, y'know? Why could't he 'av like... put me some place proper? Maybe even some skrag job here or wherever else he was. He said somethin' 'bout a promise t' m' mum, but..." Another one of them heavy sighs that made it feel like her chest was gonna cave in. "What good was that promise when it only seemed t' screw me over?"

[Inyos Aamoran]

And there it was: her mother. What was it that people said - the bantha in the room? Another tug of suppressed sadness tugged in Inyos' chest. The subject that Saidra deserved to hear about, but that didn't want to readily escape from his lips. He said it himself, though. Bring the secrets from the shadow into the light.

"This may not help," Inyos offered carefully, "But I knew your mother and uncle years ago. Shortly after my Padawan died, Mandan Hidatsa and I found ourselves seeking refuge aboard your mother's ship. Your uncle? Atton Kira had just resigned from Republic service. He was one of a few good men, people who didn't believe the Chancellor's lies about the Jedi. He and your mother -"

Inyos trailed off, a different kind of small smile sneaking onto his lips this time.

"They are only half-siblings. They share the same mother, but your uncle was raised by his own father. There was always a little friction between them. There were times when they could not stand each other; and yet they loved each other deeply, as blood-relatives do. I found it very confusing myself: being raised in the Temple, I do not have much experience with the idea of family and siblings; but that undying love and loyalty was clear enough for even I to know it was there."

Yet another ponderous frown creased his features.

"I do not know what manner of promise your uncle made to your mother, but I do know this: the both of them were two of the most stubborn sentient beings in the universe. Whatever promise Atton Kira made to your mother, not even the Dark Side would be strong enough to make him break it. As for what he has done? I do not know enough to say; but I am certain, if even a fraction of his caring for your mother was passed on to you, he did everything he could in order to keep you safe."

He risked a sidelong glance, injecting the faintest hint of a rare sarcastic tone into his words.

"Clearly he didn't do such a great job keeping you safe from a life of crime; but the fact that you are here, instead of being locked in an Imperial prison, dissected in a research lab, or lying broken in an alley carved through by an Inquisitor's lightsaber blade? Perhaps he deserves a little credit, and a little understanding, for having succeeded as well as he did."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Inyos hadn't really said anything dramatically new since they'd been talkin'. Granted the first time he had told her about that business with the dark side planet she'd been havin' a bit of an existential crisis and could only really remember the bits about Vittore's mum because let's be honest - he was the only one she was thinkin' about that day and everythin' that came before was some sort of jumbled damn blur and it didn't really stick so it had all been like hearing it over again but for some reason you kinda knew how the basic story had gone.

Also felt a bit different from tellin' someone somethin' to maybe try and make amends or whatever Inyos' motivations had been that day to tellin' her now as his apprentice type-thing. No, his Padawan as he'd put it. Didn't make it all mean any less, just put it all in a fresh context.The stuff about Atton and her mum weren't all that different - the basics, at least. Sadie had done a lil' bit of reading up on her. Very little. The chip that Atton had given her had more data that she could actually hope to process. Not to mention when she'd started lookin' she got kinda distracted by a certain bounty hunter and if she was honest with herself, she didn't want to look a whole lot deeper. As much as she enjoyed spendin' time in data streams and starin' at code and all, there was somethin' about a person's life that just seemed more real when it came out speakin' like. Turned them from bein' a document into a person, she guessed.

And if nothin' else, hearin' Inyos talk 'bout the two of 'em put more light on stuff, fleshed out the whole half-sibling thing a bit better. She hadn't really delved into what all that had meant but the Jedi was paintin' a right clear picture. Kinda estranged and yet the guy did everythin' he could think of to try and help her kid. Felt wrong bein' mad at him just then. B'sides, Sadie couldn't really get mad at him for the Bog thing - it could have been damn near any reason as to why that didn't work out so awesome. If nothin' else, Atton Kira was a damn human bein', and that meant y' made mistakes sometimes. Sure it was right fraked, but dren happens. Considerin' some of them other options that Inyos was throwin' out, she guess Atton hadn't done such a bad job at keepin' her safe while keepin' himself out of the picture.

"If y' don't mind me askin'... what was my mum like?" Sadie still had problems puttin' the name from the chip with the whole mum thing. Best to stick to the more anonymous way of callin' her, even if most folks would have thought it the more familiar. Frak knew how it would be if she ever met the woman, though. "I mean, aside from stubborn."

[Inyos Aamoran]

"She was -"

It was the question that Inyos should have expected more than any other, and yet he hadn't prepared himself for it. Perhaps on some level, he thought that by refraining from preparing an answer, it would somehow stave off the need to answer. Perhaps it wasn't logical, or rational; but those were never things that Inyos had all that much success being when Elira Asael was concerned. Or perhaps it wasn't even the question and the answer that he shied away from: perhaps it was the memories, ones that despite all the unexpected fondness and joy they brought with them, he had denied himself access to; kept them buried and pushed aside. On Ord Ithil, at first, he had clung to those memories; tried to draw warmth from them like the last dying embers of a fire. But soon the embers had turned cool, and then cold; and for fear of seeing them corrupted, Inyos had buried them far beyond the darkness's reach. Now that he was free, the fear still lingered: worry about how they might have been twisted and changed. It felt strange somehow, as if he were hoarding them like some precious jewel that he refused to ever look at and enjoy. Why was he safeguarding those memories, if he never intended to draw upon them?

A moment of mental surrender, and the unexpected happened. He didn't think of the painful circumstances of his parting from the Maelibus and her crew. He didn't think of the arguments, or the perilous misadventures, or even really the good times. It was the normal times; the average days, the long nights spent in hyperspace, the banter and the acceptance of a crew that didn't give a mynock's ass if they were Jedi - they were welcome just the same.

The wistful smile that formed on Inyos' lips was the largest yet. "Elira used to tease me," he explained, much of the formality slipping away from his words. Not only the memories slowly began to seep into his mind, but the man as well; the person he'd managed to be when his forcefields and propriety weren't entirely raised. As he spoke, more warmth crept in; and his hands began to gesticulate, emphasising the words.

"A lot. You see, you have this ancestor. His name is Ra's Ath-Thu'ban. He was the companion of the Jedi Sage who I quoted earlier, and I -" A soft chuckle escaped. "I suppose I quoted her wisdom quite a lot. I had a proverb for every situation, and your mother? I suppose she must have heard them all as a child, because it drove her up the wall. She used to call me by his name, Ra's, every time I was being too Jedi. I suppose she thought I was doing the same as your ancestor had: borrowing the wisdom of someone else, because I didn't have any of my own."

A conflicted expression toyed with his lips and his brow. "She was kind, as well; though she tried to make sure no one ever realised. She bundled herself up inside sarcasm, and acerbic comebacks, keeping people at a distance because she felt that was what she needed to do. She was a smuggler, a woman smuggler; and during those ruthless years of the early Empire, that was a dangerous thing to be, especially with the flickers of Force sensitivity she possessed. And yet, despite the risk, despite the abject foolishness of it, she took in Mandan and I without a second thought. Gave us a home for a time; gave us the opportunity to stop running, even for a little while. And she -"

He faltered. Difficult words surged around behind his tongue, clashing together, stopping each other in place. He swallowed them down; chose carefully which ones to allow back up.

"When we first came aboard, I was still grieving over Lúka. But I am -" He struggled for the words again. "- not adept with emotion. Rather than suppress only the darkness, my way has been to suppress all; and I did not know how to process my sadness. Your mother was there for me, and I -"

The rest of the sentence faded as he turned to Saidra once more, a smile taking their place as he found her gaze.

"You are very much like her," he admitted, with the faintest of sighs. "You are your own person, but I do see the woman I knew lurking in there behind your eyes. And while I may not have made the same promise to protect you that your uncle did -"

The smile faltered, a little of the sadness returning.

"If it is alright with you, I would like to pretend that I did."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie weren't sure if it was The Will o' The Force or what, but really Inyos was probably the kind of guy who should have bored her to the seven hells and back. He certainly weren't the kind that she'd voluntary hang out with since she was fairly certain - while he may not say nothin' - he wouldn't exactly by the kind to go and approve of her drinkin' and the occasional cigarra and she was downright surprised he didn't flinch every time she done gone and said somethin' unladylike. She probably had the time he'd spent with her mum and uncle t' thank for his lack of reaction. Still though, he just should have irked her in all the ways possible but instead she found herself clingin' to every word.

It weren't just that Inyos was some sorta link t' a past she was a part of but had no clue towards. Sadie couldn't put a finger on it, probably never would if she tried, but somehow the Jedi had just come and found himself a spot that Sadie hadn't even noticed was an empty part of her life. And damn if he didn't just fit there perfectly. Nothin' like Vittore or anythin' like that but was still kinda uncanny.

She did have to wonder though if her mum was all that good as Inyos made her sound, though. He seemed like one of them folks that always saw the best in people or at least wanted to. Nothin' wrong with that, Sadie supposed. Was still his version of the story, which is what she asked for.

His last comment threw her for a bit, though. Weren't really expecting that addon but it made that amused little smile of hers broaden just a bit.

"Thought y' were sayin' that kinda came with the territory of this whole Padawan thing?" There was a look in her eyes and a lilt to her tone that Sadie was hopin' made it clear she was all but sayin' 'Course it is, dummy. Teasin' him... just like mum used to do, apparently.

[Inyos Aamoran]

There was no stopping the smile from taking over Inyos' features; only a sense of propriety - and a lack of practice - stopped it from developing too far out of hand.

"Yeah," he conceded, not entirely sure what he was feeling. Relief, certainly, that Saidra hadn't somehow retracted her interest in that sort of an arrangement; but also a strange sense of satisfaction at knowing that Saidra really did seem to understand, and at feeling how easily interaction was managing to flow between them. There had only ever been a handful of people in the universe with whom Inyos had found interactions easy, especially in the years since Ord Ithil - he had always felt detached from the universe somehow, as if he were interacting with it from inside a pressure suit, not quite experiencing all the sensations and not quite having the same dexterity of interaction that others seemed to have. With Saidra - Sadie; he forced himself to correct that in his mind, trying to tailor himself towards what she seemed to prefer being called - it felt natural. There was effort required, but that effort felt worthwhile, and he felt stronger for it instead of drained. Perhaps it was the will of the Force again, reinforcing the notion that they were following it's path. Or perhaps there were simply certain individuals who were attuned to each other in some way: certain dents and edges that allowed the right people to fit together like the shards of a broken vase. Perhaps that was all of them, not just Sadie and himself but all of Emelie Shadowstar's associates, brought together so that they could reform a whole that they were always meant to be.

Whatever the reason, it didn't much matter: what mattered was the sense of purpose and fulfilment that Inyos felt looking upon his new student; his new Padawan.

"I suppose I did, didn't I?"

[Emelie Shadowstar]

***


There was some saying about best laid plans that Emelie couldn't quite remember but certainly seemed apt. For all her good intentions, things seemed to always go sour lately. It was her penance for everything with The Exchange working out. Something had to go wrong somewhere and of course it would be with the personnel. What Sadie had said was true, she should have done her homework on those sort of things but the thought that these random individuals she knew could possibly know one another hadn't even been the tiniest spark of thought in her mind - a mistake that wouldn't happen again.

Not that she could arguably worry about that right now. Right now she was standing cross armed in a clinic, sipping caff because they wouldn't let her have a proper drink. Which really, wasn't that counter-intuitive to the calm nature they wanted from those that arrived with the patients? She'd even been tempted to have one of Vhiran's death sticks, just to show those working here how much she couldn't give a damn less about their rules and such but all things considered, it was probably best to play nice.

Vhiran's sudden collapse in the Elysium underground had been the icing on a rather messy little cake she'd baked. Her slicer storming off was easily enough handled by others - probably Captain Montegue - but Vhiran? At least Kira hadn't totally left her to her own devices, though after Vhi decided to shoot him with a blaster stun, Emelie wouldn't be surprised if he pretended the spacer didn't exist for the next few years. Still, somehow, they had managed to get Vhiran to the same clinic that had treated one of her own before, same doctor too.

Coughing up blood was never a good sign. Of all the ways to integrate a new member... Emelie sighed and took another drink of her caff as she mulled it over. The galaxy hated her sometimes.

Her pacing was probably wearing the patch of carpet she walked over thin and finally she let out a deep breath. "They either need to tell us what the frak is going on or let me the hell in there."

[Justin Dechen]

"And miss out on one of our delicious caffeinated beverages?"

The voice came from behind her, a familiar lab coated figure who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. In reality he had done nothing of the sort, and was instead engaging in a new game he had created for himself. In an effort to make the many hours he spent on his feet a little more bearable, he had been experimenting with different kinds of more comfortable footwear. This week's tailored loafers, when combined with the carpeted floors of the clinic's waiting room, had turned out to be an incredibly stealthy conversation. Boyish ambitions of being a Republic Ranger had bubbled to the surface, and so Justin had spent the last several days attempting to move about unnoticed as much as humanly possible.

As Emelie started and turned, he offered her a smile, a flash of eyebrows, and patted the clipboard clutched across his chest.

"This is the second employee of yours that you've brought in here in one hell of a state, Miss Shadowstar. Do I need to be worried about what your staff is up to in those offices of yours?"

A small smirk crept onto his lips.

"I won't actually be worried of course; caring takes far too much effort. I just need to know if I should pretend, for appearances sake."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

"Pretending is appreciated," Emelie replied coolly as an attempt to shake off the sudden surprise appearance of the doctor.

There was a touch of flirtatious tone there too which she should have been ashamed of, considering her current... Frak sake what even was Vhiran? She loathed the term "boytoy" but "lover" made it sound all pretentious. And he wasn't exactly some guy that could be classified as the most recent in a string of whatever they were. Whatever he was to her, it was fairly personal and most people wouldn't exactly have gone acting like that sort of person was replaceable on the spot. Which Vhi certainly wasn't and Emelie wasn't that damned heartless or easy.

The empty paper cup on her hand was treated like it was glass stemware as she readjusted her position, shifting a hip there, hands coming to rest more casually as she narrowed her vision on the doctor. He wasn't exactly in her inner circle - not yet - but the guy had managed to help Sadie K'Vesh not have an overly prolonged healing period after Vittore's attempt at patching her up. She felt indebted to him for that alone so the little odd comment was let by. It was hard to find someone who wouldn't ask too many questions, after all.

"It's a rough galaxy out there, after all." She said with a shrug, as if it were the simplest explanation and Doctor Dechen was used to handling the odd blaster wound at odd hours of the night as if it were nothing more than a child's cough. Emelie hoped that their association wouldn't exactly come to such things but there was something nice about knowing such services were available. If they were.

It took Emelie a few moments, but slowly her posture slumped - not entirely, just enough to be far more casual. The drop of an act held for so long she wasn't entirely sure which was the real her anymore. The hinting of concern tugged at her features as she looked towards the physician.

"How is he?"

[Justin Dechen]

"Well, he's not dead yet," Justin replied, with more than a little misplaced cheer. He always found that sort of thing a little hard to wrap his head around. You always wanted to emphasise the good news, and you wanted to put the best spin on things as possible, but working out whether you were supposed to deliver news with a smile or with a sympathetic frown always took far more effort than he was willing to invest. He chose a blanket policy of optimism in all situations; worst case scenario, any complaints logged about him would just say too nice.

He glanced down at the clipboard. Not that he needed to remind himself with what was wrong with the middle-aged associate that Miss Shadowstar had dragged in with her. The moment he'd popped those lung scans up on the monitor, a low whistle had been involuntarily dragged from his lungs; you didn't see that sort of sight outside of medical text books, usually. A hideous mess of damaged and scarred tissue; probably at least a decade of the wrong kinds of abuse to blame. Justin hadn't bothered to pry into the habits or lifestyle of his patient; he didn't really care, truth be told - the guy needed fixing, and Miss Shadowstar had the credits, so who was he to pass judgement on how the guy went and screwed his body up? He wasn't exactly about to talk the guy out of it, either: that path led to healthy people, and healthy people were extremely bad for business.

"The bad news is that he's well on his way. He has what we in the medical community call acute pulmonary triacidosis - which, roughly translates to too much bad shit in your lungs. I'm guessing that your... friend?" It seemed as good a word to guess as any. "Probably has some pretty nasty spice and deathstick habits. I'm guessing he's not exactly vanilla about it either; mixes in his own chems for reasons that I'm sure are entirely his business and none of mine. He's damaged a lot of the tissue within his lungs, and his body is having a hard time sucking in the good parts of the air, and a hard time not sucking in the bad parts. My guess is he had some sort of sudden spike in heart rate, his body started pumping crappy blood around itself, and wham."

Justin stopped for what he hoped was just long enough to let the information sink in - not because he was particularly sympathetic to the struggles that Miss Shadowstar might have; more of a mandated obligation, really. Left up to him, he'd just hand the next of kin a quickly scrawled note with a Y/N check box at the bottom and a line for their cred account details, but all sorts of regulatory commissions and what not insisted that he provide at least a basic level of care and caring; so here he was, waiting, for exactly the requisite amount of time. One Coruscanti. Two Coruscanti. Three Coruscanti...

"The important thing here is that this condition is treatable. We can place him on bacta inhalation therapy: pump some of that goop into his lungs and let it do it's business fixing the worst of the damage; a few courses of that, and he'll be right as rain. Everything will taste kinda icky for the first few hours afterwards, but there shouldn't be any lasting side effects. Heck: if you can convince him to add a little kolto into whatever custom blend he's been smoking, it should negate most of the damage and let him live out a normal human lifespan without this ever being a factor again."

He allowed his face to muster a grimace, even though he wasn't even remotely reluctant to deliver the last piece of news.

"It'll be a little more expensive than it used to be, what with how tricky it is to get shipments out to this part of the galaxy these days; but if he's on your books as an Elysian employee, and if you slide me a few extra credits to whip up the forms to blame this on environmental factors rather than substance abuse, you should be able to get your company's medical insurance to cover the worst of it."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

There was an urge to scream. An urge to pinch the bridge of her nose and cringe. And a final one to march right into whatever room they were holding Vhiran in and shake the dren out of him until he coughed up half a lung and a good reason as to why he hadn't said anything or come to her for help a long damn time ago. She knew the reasons, though. Knew them well enough to know her own stubbornness at that sort of thing and everything that went along with it. She avoided the the first two desires - the last could come later and simply nodded as if accepting some news about a business deal gone bad that could be salvaged at a bit of an initial loss.

"Done." She gave a half shrug of a shoulder too, just for show.

As much as her bank accounts would probably eventually hate it, she wanted this doctor on her good side so in the future there's be further lack of prying questions. He seemed to understand the need for silence, the required things to say and do to make it sound as if something were legit when it wasn't. Doctor Dechen wasn't exactly all warm fuzzies about it, but Emelie could respect that. He made money on sick people, not healthy ones. If he could make some extra money off of people like her who needed things written up a certain way or described in terms that didn't lend to their actual causes, all the better. At least he was willing. She wasn't even sure how he had written off the extent of Sadie's injuries that first time - hadn't looked into it, but all she knew was that there was a lack of any sort of authorities coming asking questions and trying to extract justice in their ineffective ways.

While the better part of her mind was focused on the future worth of the doctor, the back of her mind was reeling in anger. Vhiran had done this to himself, and while Emelie was the last person to get on anyone's case about that sort of thing, she also was genuinely concerned. That bit with the kolto sounded good too, even if she had to shove that crap into the death sticks herself to make sure he kept himself at least a shadow of healthy, she'd do it. He would probably hate her for this when he woke up or was released - whichever came first. But this was her decision to keep him alive. He could look at it as payback for apparently ditching her and making them both ignore their feelings for years if he wanted.

[Justin Dechen]

Justin nodded, mostly to himself. Concerned people did this: went all quiet, forgetting that they needed to speak in order to communicate with the other sentient beings in the room. Well, unless they were Verpines, and they were trying to talk to other Verpines, but -

Carefully pushing that train of thought until it converted into the opening scene of an imaginary Verpine porno, he pretended to scribble down a few important notes on his clipboard, though in reality all that appeared on the page was a floppy-haired smiley face with credit signs for eyes. Finishing with a flourish, and returning the stylus to his lab coat pocket, he bounced a little on the balls of his feet, silently urging Miss Shadowstar to see if she had anything to say. About three seconds in he became too impatient to wait any longer however, and decided to shoulder the rest of the conversational work himself.

"I still have your account details from before, so that shouldn't be a problem. I'll have a chat with that overly peppy assistant of yours as well - see if we can't get Elysian Acquisitions to play a part in acquiring what we need, and write off some of the expense for you."

He faltered for a moment, partly anxious to go off and make sure his new revenue stream was firmly in place: not just for his own sake, but because he'd learned from experience that lucrative patients liked a doctor who got things done fast, and Miss Shadowstar was a revenue stream he very much wanted to stay on the good side of. Before he disappeared however, one final thought tumbled from his lips, with something that almost, almost sounded like genuine sympathy crimping at the edges.

"If you want to go in and see him, you can. He should be awake by now."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

She avoided the unnecessary thank you, but let a simple nod of her head suffice. Emelie didn't know much about the physician but what little she was coming to understand was the two of them may not have been all that dissimilarly minded when it came to lucrative opportunities. There was a point where you had to take the people out of the equation, so to speak, and even if he did seem to be putting on a show when it came to the actual care of his patients, Dechen did good work. In the end, that was all that really mattered. She was more than willing to pay the credits if the ends were justified. And for Vhiran, or hell, anyone else involved in her new little endeavor, they were worth it and then some.

The whole day still had her feeling lopsided, though. Thrown off from a groove she got caught up in from morning 'till night that was her standard way of presentation. The meeting with the rest of The Exchange had been meant to be such a simple affair and it had turned into an entire mess. Emelie still couldn't get the little rambling monologue of accusations out of her mind that Sadie had delivered. Embarrassing indeed.

The day wasn't even over. There were at least two people she needed to talk to before she could retire to her suite with an expensive brandy and a bubble bath. Kira would have to wait, but the other? He was apparently available for speaking now and Emelie wasn't in the mood to play games.

A few quick directed strides down pristine corridors and she came to the room that Vhiran was in. It was probably against hospital policy to close the door but Emelie didn't give a frak right then. For a moment she held herself as she always tried to - as if she were some sort of sentient being in a class above every other. They weren't just beneath her, they were beneath her notice unless they had something visually or monetarily appealing. The facade fell away as her hazel eyes settled on the bed and the man laying in it. For a time she could stop being Emelie Shadowstar and just be Em again.

The sigh that left her lips was full of frustration and one of the chairs in the room were glanced at but ultimately decided against; she could stand for this one and hold onto what little of her new self she could manage without somehow returning her and Vhi back to some strange echo of Kalresh's.

"So when were you gonna tell me you were dying?" It came out mixed: Accusatory and not, pained and yet simply put. Their renewed association was too fresh for this type of shit, and yet here they were.

[Vhiran Antilles]

Vhiran grimaced, reaching up to move the breathing mask that was attached to his face by elastic. He felt a strange tug in the back of his hand from the intravenous needle jammed in there, straining about under the medical tape that was supposed to hold it secure. He bloody hated this kind of stuff. He'd been worse off than this before, and all he'd had to deal with it was a roll of mesh tape to hold his guts in, and a bottle of cheap whiskey to make him care about his problems a little less. All these bags of liquid crap getting dripped into his veins, flushing out the carefully constructed build-up of chemicals in his system; it was a waste of time. A destruction of his chemical investment in himself. Worse, at some point they'd apparently stripped him and put him in one of those gowns that tied up at the back and left his arse hanging out for the whole Outer Rims to see if he tried to waddle off anywhere before they were good and done with him.

That wasn't the worst of it, though. The worst of it was Emelie; or at least, everything Emelie brought with her. Without the numbing blanket of chems to keep his Force sensitivity good and suppressed, her emotions punched him in the face without hesitation. It was horrible, that. Not just the part of knowing that she was angry, or that she was hurt; but knowing she felt that way because of everything lurking underneath it all as well.

"Ah, that."

He tried to sound like his usual self, but his voice was weak and reedy, his lungs feeling as if they'd just endured a transit through a Geonosis droid factory, all stamped and mashed to bloody shit. He supposed that all things considered, that comparison wasn't far off. He'd made his peace with all that though. His number was up, will of the Force and all that; best to just embrace it and let it come when it was good and ready, right?

"Weren't really plannin' on it, truth be told. Figured that if I was on me way off this mortal coil an' all that, the least I could do was try an' throw a dash of closure your way. Didn't want to wander off into the great beyond without tryin' to patch up what I broke."

A faint cough left him, but even that couldn't manage to dislodge the pallid lack of colour from his cheeks.

"Weren't exactly plannin' on us, y'know -" He trailed off, the faintest of smiles tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Pickin' up were we left off, an' all that. An' I guess I just 'adn't managed to work out 'ow exactly to break it to ya."

He fell a little silent, eyes struggling to hold their focus on Emelie.

"Thought the old collapsin' an' goin' unconscious approach worked out pretty well, honestly."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

"Hardly." She spat out the word like it was a curse.

Emelie felt her hair being tugged thanks to her hand reaching up and twisting around a strand of her hair. It was an old nervous tick of hers that she had mostly beaten. The other being the whole inside of her cheek chewing which she had at least learned to do without others noticing. The hair thing, though... She was sure she had gotten over it until that very moment. The untangling of her fingers was done rather violently when Emelie realized what she was doing. It was far unlike her, unsettled yet more genuine in a way.

"Dammit, Vhi. You can't just come walking back into my life and then die. Not after..." She stopped herself and took a deep breath, eyes shutting and lower lip bitten as it was done.

Once some semblance of her usual control was regained, Emelie redirected herself fully at Vhiran in all his pitiful state. "You know damn well why not. This is low, even for you. And as much I'd love to make this all about me and my perceived slights, you owe others now too. As much as Atton is a downright bastard, he deserves some sort of..." She couldn't make herself say apology.

"Just hear him out. Guy's reasons are shady as all the hells combined but he has them. And then there's Maggie-" A wince crossed her features as she fell into the all too familiar alias she'd called the girl for years. "Sadie. She said you guys are good but you know as well as I do that isn't over."

She just couldn't stop the exasperated sighs and Emelie half wondered if they continued to come in the place of screams. As the last finished she sunk again, finally taking leave of the chair. It wasn't entirely without grace that she set herself down but it felt awkward, like despite her best efforts they had both fallen through some sort of time loop and she was back to being a pre-teen who barely spoke and was half frightened of the entire universe with only her friend to rely on. It didn't make sense, they should have skipped back to when they were last together, when she at least somewhat resembled the woman she was now. Confident, surefire; not some weakling who still jumped at loud sounds and had nightmares more often than not.

"And us, Vhi. I thought... I thought maybe we were making up for lost time, you know? I don't believe in any of that Force dren, you know that. But something brought us back together. We cared about each other once and I know it isn't the same and it won't ever be again but... I've felt good. Last night, this morning... I may look like I have things together here but it's all just surface. I thought maybe that would change now."

Frak, she could use a drink, or a smoke, or something heavier.

"And then you pull this shit. Still lying to me after I thought we cleared the damn air."

[Vhiran Antilles]

She was right to be angry. Right to feel lied to and betrayed. But Vhiran knew that Emelie realised things weren't as simple as all that. While truth was an absolute, honesty wasn't. There were layers of it. Stages of it. You told people enough of the truth so that they understood, so that they had enough to handle; but you always held a little back. There were always the white lies. The I'm fine lies. The specifics held back to protect the people you cared about from pain, or worry. It was how things were with people; and how things had always been with them. Vhiran didn't know the whole truth of what had happened to Emelie before she landed in Kalresh: he knew all that she had been able to share, but there were specifics, details, emotions that were just too difficult to share no matter how strong a bond you had with a person. For Vhiran it was the same: Emelie didn't know the specifics of his childhood at the Jedi Temple, didn't know what he'd witnessed when Vader and his 501st had come for them, didn't know the internal agony Vhiran had experienced feeling each and every one of those lives shattering through the Force, their final moments consumed by utter darkness and terror. But she knew enough. She knew what mattered. That was honesty: the version of it that was actually worth a damn, at least.

But that was the crux of it, wasn't it? He hadn't told Emelie for one simple reason: he hadn't thought it mattered enough. He had come here to give Emelie a little closure; to earn a little forgiveness to he could shuffle off into the beyond. So what if he was going to die? He was never going to see Emelie again, so what did it matter? That would have been too much honesty, and it would have changed things. He didn't want Emelie to forgive him because he was sick. He wanted her to forgive him, or hate him, the amount that she needed to - this was about recompense, and nothing more. So what if he'd gone and killed himself slowly in the years he'd been gone. Emelie didn't need to know.

And then this impossibility had happened. Picking up where they left off. Enough forgiveness that a relationship between them - whatever category this all fell into - suddenly seemed possible. Such a thing called for honesty too; but how did you even begin? What was he supposed to do, wait until post-coital and say oh by the way, I'll probably be dead in a few months, sorry love, or words to that effect? He'd herded himself in a corner. Worse, he'd gone and found himself with something too precious to him to ever risk letting the truth damage it.

He slumped back against the pillows, eyes turning up to the ceiling, fixating on the strange flecks and patterns on the duratiles.

"I didn't want you t'feel sorry fer me."

It was more complicated than that; but at the same time, that was exactly honest enough. That was the version of the truth that mattered; the version that Emelie was capable of understanding.

"I didn't want you forgivin' me out of pity. Didn't want you feelin' you had to fix me outta some obligation you ain't ever 'ad. I didn't -"

He wheezed out a small sigh; not all that good an idea he discovered, a few weak splutters later.

"When I saw you lookin' at me the way you used to, I didn't want to lose that. Not yet. Didn't want you thinkin' I was anythin' less than the man I used to be. Didn't want you lookin' at me the way you are now. Never could bear t'see them pretty eyes a' yours lookin' sad."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

The single laugh that came didn't escape her but rather caused a sharp exhale. It wasn't really amusing, more just so them; so her. Emelie dealt in secrets nowadays, had an entire enterprise being built up upon the collection and selling of them, but she couldn't seem to work around the ones within her own life. She wanted things transparent between the actual people within her organization so that there was trust and a lack of upsets. It was probably a pipe dream given human nature, but it was nice to think it could happen.

"Fair enough," Emelie conceded.

She wanted to say more, but the words wouldn't come. As much as they were frustrating, Vhiran's reasonings were sound. He hadn't expected things to go as they had, hells she hadn't either until they were tearing each others clothing off in the halls. Even then it was supposed to only be a one night thing and then he would go on his merry little way and Emelie would once again find herself trying not to think about him. She hadn't planned on asking Vhi to stay, hadn't planned on it being like this. That didn't necessarily make things better, just meant that this would have happened and no one would have been around to help.

Her head turned away, eyes drifting first before the motion completed. A slight metallic taste in her mouth let her know she'd been worrying the inside of her cheek too much in her moments of silence.

"Doctor said you'll live, by the way. He has some sort of expensive add in for your sticks that will keep this from happening again." Her eyes shifted back towards Vhiran, making sure they met before she spoke again. "I told him to do it. This isn't up for debate."

[Vhiran Antilles]

"You don't -"

The protest sounded weak and non-committal. Vhiran hated this. It was hard enough to argue with Emelie at the best of times - harder still to win - but doing so pinned beneath medical blankets, with needles jammed in your arms and an oxygen mask tied to your face? Vulnerability and powerlessness were the worst tortures a person could endure. No one wanted to be helpless. No one wanted to be utterly dependent.

Vhiran tried to turn, but the needle in his hand tugged at him again. With a vague scowl he reached for the tape, scratching at the edges to peel it free, and then carefully drew the needle out from within his veins. The holomovies told you that tearing it out was the way to go - yet another for the list of insanely unwise acts for the audience to emulate at home. Fumbling with the sheets, and tugging on the mask enough so it would hang around his neck, Vhiran swung his legs out, bare arse scruffing against the rough sheets as he positioned himself seated on the med bed's edge.

A hand reached out, snaring Emelie's arm with a weakened grip; but still strong enough to get the point across.

"You don't 'ave to do that, love. I made my peace with it."

[Emelie Shadowstar]

"I haven't."

She gently pried Vhiran's hand off of her arm and ensnared his fingers with hers. The motion was watched before she raised her vision to meet with his again.

"Didn't you hear me? I said this wasn't up for debate. It's going to happen. You don't get to go running off to the great beyond because you're a stubborn frakker, got it?"

A bit of her usual personality slowly slid back into place as she spoke. If Emelie was honest with herself it probably was proof that she was some sort of control freak, but if that was the case then so be it.

"If nothing else," Emelie continued, her shoulders squaring as she sat back a bit in the chair. "You're my employee now. You can work off your debt if you feel you have one."

[Vhiran Antilles]

Vhiran breathed out a small laugh at that. Work off his debt. As if that was some sort of task that was easily accomplished. The reality couldn't possibly be any further from that notion, especially if you got metaphorical about it, and started looking at all the other red in his ledger that had accumulated over the years. It wasn't just the medical bills. It wasn't just the pain he'd caused by driving Emelie away the way he had. It went all the way back to the beginning: back to the kid he'd met in Kalresh, the broken and traumatised little girl who'd smiled, who'd spoken to him before she was willing to speak to anyone else, who'd bummed him smokes and everything else he needed; the girl he couldn't stop himself from coming back to rescue the day they finally let her out; the girl who'd followed him into a life of crime without hesitation, who'd gone from protégé to partner to everything else without him even realising. Maybe he'd played a part in shaping the woman she'd become - maybe too much of a part; and maybe he'd shaped things the wrong way before her life came along and fixed it - but she'd done the same to him. He'd tried to carve her out of his life, but he couldn't: it wasn't possible. Sever all ties, and she was still there: that lopsided smile and those irresistible eyes leaving a permanent imprint on his soul.

And here she was, reaching out. Wanting him to stay. Not just asking: she was giving him absolutely no choice in the matter. It was what Vhiran wanted, what he secretly hoped for; and at the same time, he didn't want it at all, and had dreaded the possibility. He wasn't meant to receive forgiveness. Didn't deserve it. It made the debt too big; too impossible to ever pay off. Pretty sweet deal for him in the long run, but for her?

"You realise that if we're talkin' about payin' off what I owe you, you're gonna be stuck with me for a damn long time, right love?"

[Emelie Shadowstar]

"Somehow I think I'll manage," Emelie replied, hinting at nonexistent pain at the thought.

Despite whatever had brought them back together - probably more man than mystery if she considered it - Emelie was actually glad. Not that she wouldn't have been happy with any number of individuals coming around. Some were just drinking partners, others deeper and more complicated relationships; but friends - true friends; the ones you could really count on - were few and far between. Yeah, as far as those Emelie could name they were all a bunch of frak ups who had burned bridges or vanished without a trace, but she wasn't one for holding grudges if it could be helped, life was too short. The galaxy was just one big mess, anyway; people were just trying to hold on most of the time and everyone had their reasons. Vhiran, though? He was some sort of jagged little puzzle piece that was missing; one of very few Emelie cared to acknowledge. Some would never find their way back to her, but Vhi had and it made her feel more like herself in a way to just have him around once more.

"That is, if you think you can keep from shooting my business partner again." The joke died away on her lips as Emelie felt a sigh escape as her eyes wandered away from Vhiran. "Hells, I'm not sure whether to shoot him myself or apologize next time I see him. Maybe both, maybe neither."

A slight laugh, more resembling another heavy breath left her as she looked back. "Nothing can ever be easy or simple for the likes of us, can it?"

[Vhiran Antilles]

A lopsided smile tugged at his pale cheeks. "Complicated is just life's way of stoppin' things from gettin' too boring. People like you an' me -"

He faltered, wondering if that was even a thing he was allowed to say any more. Were they still alike enough for that comparison? Emelie was all respectable-like these days, a person of status and standing, of - well, not wealth, but certainly a comfortably sized credit balance. It felt wrong to act as if they were alike; felt dishonest. Yet at the same time, it felt dishonest not to. Felt wrong to insist that the gulf between them was unbridgeable; to act as if they couldn't reverse course on drifting apart. Maybe that meant that Vhiran needed to change. Almost definitely, in fact. Stop being a stubborn ass. Stop waiting for the universe to grind you down into dust. Maybe his life, or lack thereof, mattered to people other than himself again. Maybe Sadie being here was the universe trying to smack him up the side of the head with that reality, since he wasn't listening hard enough so far.

"People like us, love," he reaffirmed, making sure his eyes found Emelie's, making sure she understood it wasn't just a hollow sentiment, "We aren't exactly the quiet life sorta type. I mean, look at you: Miss Respectable Business on the surface, but then it's all criminal underworld behind the scenes. If you tried the white picket fence, you'd be in a coma before the end of the week. That's why you've gotta 'ave people like me around; add a little spice from time to time."

His smile didn't falter, but he felt his chest clench a little, more invested in Emelie's answer than he wanted to be. "You miss it, right? Y'know, 'avin' me around to make life interestin'?"

[Emelie Shadowstar]

He was right, and it was something Emelie had known for a long time. It explained a lot things, really; recent events included. Any sane person would have used their connections and fought back more aggressively from some unknown entity trying to end their life as it had been. She though? Emelie had just walked away. Perhaps not just, but leaving Silenus had been far easier than she had thought. Leaving Xavier had been easier than she thought.

And here she was, sitting face to face with the reason. Or at least one of them. There was a feeling of guilt attached to that, but it always came back to Emelie and her bad boys - all of which were just representatives of Vhiran in one way or another. She needed the trouble in her life, needed the danger and the thrill that went with it. Pure and simple she was an addict, but then again so was everyone else in the galaxy - she'd built up a tiny Empire just based on that thought alone; everyone needs something. Emelie still wasn't entirely sure what exactly it was she needed, but there was some sort of painful truth that it probably had something to do with Vhiran. Damn him.

"I guess so," Emelie replied, letting it come out as an exasperated sigh. The quirk to her lips that followed proved she wasn't exactly being negative about it. "Just do me a favor and try to not make things too interesting, okay? I think we've had enough for one day."

She leaned back in the seat and finally let her hand slip away from his. Her lips pursed as a thought came to her - so preposterous that it made her cringe to realize that there was even a slim chance of it being true.

Emelie let another curt laugh leave before she finally got the nerve to ask. "Just to avoid anymore unnecessary surprises when you're well enough to get back to things... The name Montegue doesn't mean anything to you, does it?"

[Sadie K'Vesh]

***

What a day. Okay, so if Sadie were downright honest with herself the whole bailin' outta th' Underworld was probably a might bit on the drama side of things that she weren't too keen on. Amends would have t' be made for that sort of dren but she'd take her time with it, figure out the right sort of thing to do in recompense. Maybe. Weren't like the whole lot'a 'em didn't have it comin' anyhow. Weren't even things she'd wanted t' get off her chest for a space or nothin' like that, had just been things that needed t' go and be said. Bosslady did need to shore up and stop making daft mistakes and Atton did need to stop meddlin'. Was grand that he had the ability to, but maybe if he just went and asked or somethin' rather than tryin' to keep pullin' pleasant surprises out of the bag... Inyos had been right though, guy was doin' it because he thought it was the right thing to do in a way. Weren't nothin' malicious 'bout it... not really, anyhow.

Took a bit of the fight out of her when the reality of what all Atton had done once again came and slapped her upside th' head. Sadie figured that had a whole heap to do with her upset. Felt like she had no free will and such. Then again, since The Force wasn't apparently some whole heap of bunk and it was able to go and mess with stuff in order to keep the Galaxy runnin'... did anyone really have a say in what went down?

Sadie tried to not let that thought linger too much, more lettin' her mind drift off aimlessly as it pondered chords and code and... tryin' to not let Vittore on to the speeder wreck of the day since she didn't want him worryin' none. Or worse - takin' a blaster to Atton himself.

Course that was doomed to failure at step one, really since she entered the Tide and crash landed on the couch in the main livin' area. Face first into the cushions before she managed to roll over and look upwards. Vitt was sure to know she'd returned and with a voice that would carry at least as far as th' cockpit - though might be a bit of a strain to hear all that far - Sadie blurted out the million credit question.

"Please for th' lov'a all, tell me y' don't know no one or ain't never gone after named Vhiran Antilles."

[Vittore Montegue]

Vittore wasn't in the cockpit when Sadie called; not that it made a difference in terms of how easy her voice was to hear. Stopping part way through his furious efforts to scrub the towel over his damp hair, leaving it misdirected and askew, he frowned at the question that he'd managed to hear most of. Maybe some of the initial context had been muffled; on autopilot he started heading for the door, an accidental bare-footed step on the buckle of a discarded belt reminded him of his situation, and a quick frantic effort wrapped the slightly too small towel around his unclothed and still slightly glistening waste.

"Uh -" he started to reply, appearing in the door frame of his quarters. He'd got into the habit of leaving the thing permanently open, wanting to seem approachable any time if Sadie ever needed him and all that; but showers hadn't really factored into that particular concept, which was maybe cause for some revision. Initially he didn't even spot Sadie, a few quick sweeps of the common area taken before he spotted the pair of legs jutting out from the edge of one of the couches. He leaned sideways against the bulkhead, and got half-way towards folding his arms across his chest before panic and an inadequately secured towel made them snap back to his waist and grab hold of things, just in case.

"Don't think I know any Vhiran's," he replied, brow furrowing deeper as he dredged through his memory. An old contact maybe? An old client? An old mark? Why was Sadie even asking anyway? Not that her reasoning made a difference to how willing he was to reply, of course. "I've got an uncle Victor, if that helps?"

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Restless body meant she didn't stay starin' up at the ceilin' but instead rolled back onto her stomach and inched across the couch until her arms could rest against it's... well... armrest. She perched her chin there, casually letting her head roll a bit to the side as she took in the sights. There probably would have been a time when she would have gone and gotten all sheepish and blushed and apologized a great deal for catchin' Vitt in such a state, and it weren't like seein' him with no clothes was some sorta regular in their lives or nothin' like that yet, but he didn't exactly seem to mind so she didn't neither. Not on a day like t'day anyhow.

"Not really. Though, yeah at th' same time." Sadie let out a breath through lips just shy of whistlin' and angled the puff of air at a stray strand of hair that was tryin' t' fall over one of her eyes. "Bosslady's managed t' go an' find herself a relic of days yonder. Her's and mine, 'pparently. An' wouldn't-cha know it, all sorts a past mess came narrowed on th' shoulders of one Atton Kira yet 'gain. Just a mind trip an' a half, that."

She was ramblin', Sadie knew it. Didn't even have a whole lot'a impact left in it for her since she'd gotten most of the emotion out when talkin' with Inyos. Now she was just spillin' facts out, probably on account of wantin' Vitt to hear it from her before anyone else.

"Guess 'm jus'... glad t' be home now where that sort of dren can't touch me no more." Sadie tried to go and add one of them non committal type shrugs but it didn't work out right given her position.

"Sorry, didn't mean t' unload like that. Not while y're all..." She wiggled fingers at him at some attempt at clarification. "Y'know."

[Vittore Montegue]

Atton Kira, a manipulative son of a bitch? Who knew?

The thought rattled around inside Vittore's head, but he kept it there. An older him - well a younger him; older version though, that kinda thing - would probably have just come out of it; wouldn't have cared any about keeping opinions to himself and all that. This newer him wasn't exactly the secret keeping type neither, not unless you were talking about keeping feelings bottled up and all that; and that was something he was working on. But this? Nah. Nothing gained from badmouthing Sadie's uncle, especially not when she was all off-balance about the guy.

Sure, there were times when you know what, screw that guy was the response that people needed; but it didn't really seem like Sadie was looking to get her anger validated, or waiting for someone to deflect the blame from herself and onto where it was supposed to belong. This was more of a lost thing; having a family was new to her and all that, and Vittore sure as hell knew all about feeling screwed over and betrayed by your blood. Thing was, he'd had a whole lifetime to build up that undercurrent of tolerance; that special, extra thick hide in certain places that let you forgive brothers and fathers for all kinds of shit that they probably didn't deserve forgiving for. Sadie didn't have that; Sadie had Atton Kira, and that was that. Didn't matter the kind of ass he was, didn't matter how much he manipulated and pulled on people's strings; he could be the second damn coming of Palpatine, and it wouldn't matter. Atton didn't deserve infinite forgiveness, but Sadie deserved to have someone deserving of that, and in the absence of all other options, Atton Kira would just have to do.

"Hey," he shrugged, "If talkin' is what y'need, then listenin' is what I'm here for. You know that." He risked a one handed grip on the towel so that he could reach out and pat the door frame beside him. "Ain't just open for ventilation, y'know."

There was more to say, bubbling up behind all that; a bow wave of sentiment that he wasn't quite ready to just come out and say, and wasn't sure if Sadie was quite ready to just hear out of nowhere. He wasn't going to keep it all locked down, but it was uneven ground, y'know? Needed to tread carefully and all that; mind out for the quicksand and the land mines.

"Kinda sounds like less of a towel conversation, an' more of a beer an' pants conversation t' me, though. You sit tight, babe, I'll be right back."

With a quick flash of a wink - oh gods, what the damn hell was he doing? - and a nudge against the frame, leaning became standing and Vittore was already turning on his heel to wander back into his cabin. Of course, all that attention on making sure stuff was covered up front had come at the expense of round back, a helpful little waft of breeze pointed out to him. Another terribly unwise flash of impulse fired in his motor cortex, and with a tug and a whip the towel came completely free and was tossed haphazardly over his shoulder out into the common area, a split second of his moisture dappled ass left out on display before he disappeared out of view.

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Was funny how a stupid simple word could make it feel like your insides were going to squirm. Somethin' about he way Vitt called her babe made Sadie feel downright foolish. Enough so that she probably couldn't fully appreciate the li'l show he put on.

"That an invite?" A teasin' sort of reply.

Both of them knew it weren't gonna lead to nothin'. They usually got about as far as hands creepin' before she pulled away. Not conscious like, but damn if the marks left on her didn't etch themselves in her head good and deep as well. Didn't take much for her to not feel like she was herself nowadays. Which was a downright shame when she caught sight of the guy she was all emotionally tangled with. She never used to hesitate on that sort of thing, physical stuff was fun after all. Frakkin' scars, man; they needed to hurry up and start fadin'.

As much as she didn't want to move, and knew that really if she didn't Vitt would do the deed for the both of 'em, Sadie weren't much on bein' handed stuff. A flinch - probably one of them more psychosomatic things considerin' where her head had briefly wandered off to - accompanied liftin' herself off the couch and lingered for the first few steps towards the cooler where the beer was kept. Another one of them aimed blows of air left her as she opened it up b'fore Sadie finally had the gumption to shove the stray hair bit behind her ear with a hand.

"We're gettin' low. Gonna make a supply run then, tomorrow. Probably after Inyos tries t' teach me..." She lingered, still not sure with how much Vitt was even comfortable with what she was learnin'. There was knowin' your partner was capable of stuff and then there was bein' upside the head smacked with it. "Just yeah, I'll pick up some more."

Two bottles were snagged with one hand, the cooler shoved back shut with the other before Sadie made her way back to the couch and plunked herself down. Tops came off - bottles, not hers - and she drank from one while holdin' the other up and out for Vitt to take in perfect timin' with his return.

"Think th' fridge is on th' fritz too. Ain't as cold as normal. Or maybe it's just my head messin'. Been that kinda day."

[Vittore Montegue]

He was naked in a room with the door open, and she was asking if it was an invite. Okay so sure, they were taking things slow - and to be honest, Vittore was kinda glad for that. Gave him the chance to be careful, to make sure that he was getting everything right; felt like one of those rare situations where you wanted to be sure you weren't cocking things up. Wasn't like he was pushing either, or being impatient. Truth be told, he was actually enjoying all this other stuff, the fact that Sadie could fall asleep on the couch with her against his shoulder because they weren't intent on jumping each other's bones at the first opportunity. There wasn't any impatience, there wasn't any sense of needing to get to the good parts as quickly as possible before they drifted away; not just because it didn't exactly feel like either of them were going anywhere any time soon, but because these felt like the good parts.

But then there was the other side of it: the part that woke him up all flustered and guilty-feeling because of what his subconscious had spent the night imagining; the part of him that needed to be kept on a leash every time they kissed just so he wouldn't have to feel the ache if his hands roamed too far and she pulled herself away. It was the part of him that wanted to make her feel special, wanted to make her feel wanted, but in a casual way. The romance equivalent of leaving cookies out on the table - no one's gonna force you to eat them, but you wanna make sure that everyone knows they're there if you're hungry for it.

That was the train of thought clattering around his head as he dragged on a discarded pair of denim pants and fumbled with the fastenings. What do you say to that? How do you say of course it is, babe; I wanna tear your clothes off the instant you're willin' to let me while at the same time saying no worries, babe; we don't need to do a thing until you feel ready to? Because both were true, and it was complicated as hell - and scary as hell for that matter, too. Nothing more terrifying than falling for the perfect girl, and finding yourself precariously balanced on a razor thin line between staying with her forever and screwing everything up in the worst way possible.

Part of him wanted to just walk out there as he was: pants, and nothing else. Part of him wanted to cheat his way into feeling her hands on his chest when she leaned against him, by simple virtue of just not having anything in the way. It was the same part of him that idly entertained notions of accidentally bumping into her as she stepped out of the shower, the part of him that hoped that leaving his cabin door open would mean that one night she'd creep in just to curl up next to him. He hated it. Hated that side of him. Hated that he'd somehow transformed from galaxy-renowned space badass into lovesick puppy after just one look in her eyes. It was worse than that, even.

I'm turnin' into my Forcedamned brother.

That was a sobering thought, one that occupied his attention as he grabbed a plain black tee that he'd somehow managed to drape over the corner of the closet door when he'd absent-mindedly discarded it earlier. He dragged it over his head as he walked back out into the common area, struggling a little to convince the fabric to not snag against the slightly moist patches of shower-damp skin.

"I'll have Katie take a look of it," Vittore promised casually - small talk and all that - as Sadie handed the bottle in his direction. Damn it though if she didn't go and make his efforts to be calm and casual pretty much impossible; the same stupid smile she always dragged out of him started tugging at the corner of his mouth. He decided to hide it, cover for the squirmy feeling inside by trying to make Sadie feel kinda the same, settling a gentle hand on her arm and leaning in to press a matching gentle kiss against her forehead. "Missed you," he said softly, his fingertips trailing down until they managed to loosely snare a grip on Sadie's hand.

"C'mon," he said as he pulled back, letting the smile flourish, his hand tugging a little against Sadie's. "We got beer, and I've got pants. How about we get cosy on the couch, an' y' can tell me about whoever this damned Vee Ran guy or whatever his name was, what Uncle Atton went an' done did t' get y' all twisted up inside, an' how badly I need t' break the both of them sons of bitches because of it."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

That was the problem with goin' straight from Force learnin' to regular Sadie. Inyos was teachin' her how to extent her awareness and all that good stuff, things she'd apparently already instinctively knew how to go 'round doin' but never had a solid handle on. Sadie had always thought of what she could do as some personal thing, an inner thing that was kept locked up until she needed use of it and even then it only went so far as makin' her a little different here and there; not in the way that went and mattered but just faster. The whole reachin' out thing was new and apparently damn hard to shut fully off. Maybe it weren't meant to be, but Sadie weren't too keen on a new tool bein' unwieldy or non-coop.

Not that she was all kinds of aware of everythin', she weren't that good and that was somethin' Sadie was downright thankful for. Nah, this was more simple, a knowledge that Vitt was conflicted on somethin'. He was good at hidin' stuff like that and this new sort of sneakin' know how felt a twinge like betrayal. If Vitt didn't want someone - her of all folks - knowin' fully somethin' then there was a damn good reason for it.

"No no; no breakin' folks needed." Sadie waved off the notion with a small flourish of beer-in-hand. "I guess... it's like old news, yeah? Don't really matter at th' end of th' day on account that it don't really change nothin'. Done is done, sorta dren."

She waited for Vitt to sit down before leanin' off to one side so her shoulder could press into his. Was somethin' comfortin' about that simple contact. Another swig of beer was taken before she kept babblin' on.

"One of them way back in the day deals. Used t' run with the guy - Vhiran, that is. Helped him pull con jobs and small bank deals when I was still learnin' th' ropes. Was his sorta... I dunno, teenage pupil or whatnot. However it's gone and called, was pretty decent livin' though." A shrug and another drink of beer let her pause for a bit. "Then one day he just... kinda up an' shut me out. Vanished with no reason sorta deal. 'Cept t'oday I go an' find th' reason. Maybe it found me."

Sadie wanted to still have a bit of anger for the next bit, but couldn't. It'd dulled down too much since the initial.

"Atton. Made Vhi go an' pick between workin' with me an' keep gettin' info on the bosslady. Not really much of a choice, 'pparently, given how he feel's 'bout Em. Though, guess that's what Atton was after. Knew damn well which Vhi would go for. So I was left on m' onsies again an' m' uncle got his way of tryin' t' keep what he thinks were bad influences out'a m' life."

One more drink and damn if she didn't finish the rest of the bottle. Sadie kinda stared at the emptiness of it for a sec or two before she let it rest back in her lap.

"Just vexes me. I guess like I said, past is past an' I can get behind th' fact he was just doin' what he thought needed doin', but I'm still tryin' t' wrap my head 'round him even existin' and this whole deal with him promisin' t' not t' make himself all known t' me or somethin'. I got a mom out there that wants nothin' doin' with me an' told my uncle t' frell off an' he did anythin' but. Gotta give him credit there. I guess I jus' feel like I ain't had a real say in my life. Kinda bugs."

[Vittore Montegue]

Vittore frowned, letting the words slowly sink in; not a skeptical frown, but a contemplative one; one that concentrated and considered the fragments of explanation that Sadie's drawling accent rambled his way. It sounded not familiar per se, and yet there was something about it that struck a chord. Maybe it was the absentee family. Maybe it was the puppet master, tugging on strings to make your life dance the way he thought was best. Maybe it was just the notion of old pain, nearly healed and forgotten wounds being picked open and not bleeding in quite the profuse way you might have expected. Maybe all of it. Maybe none.

Didn't help shake an answer loose though; didn't provide Vittore with any solace or wisdom to offer in response. The only advice that had ever sounded right to his mind was to just leave that kind of family here in the dust, try to take on the galaxy alone; but he barely seemed to make it five paces before his heart started building a new one, be it made of droids, or damsels, or douchebag information brokers. It was a weird feeling, realising that this gathering here on Cloud City was a few degrees of comfort and acceptance away from being his new home and family; and that made this problem between Sadie and Atton his business in a way, even if it ought not to be.

Should be Mama Shadowstar fixing this, he mused idly, playing catch up with Sadie's racing efforts to empty her bottle. He frowned a moment, ran through a sentence in his mind. No good. Another swig of beer. Another practised line. Closer. Better.

"Your uncle is an ass."

It came out blunter than Vittore intended, but he didn't regret that.

"A manipulative, secretive, arrogant, condescendin' ass. He knew where you were this whole time, let you endure all kinds a' shit an' loneliness for, what, some dumb promise to a woman who ain't even here t' know if he's keepin' it or not? It's stupid as hell, and I ain't got the patience for people pullin' that kinda crap. Son of a bitch like that ain't owed any sorta forgiveness or understandin'. Frag him, y'know?"

His brow furrowed deeper.

"But you ain't me. You ain't had a family there in your face lettin' y' down y' whole life like I had. Y' ain't lost faith in 'em the way I have. Y' ain't had t' fight, ain't had t' stand y' ground, push back against 'em if you ain't happy with how they're doin' what they're doin'. Atton Kira doesn't deserve any slack from you, so don't give him none. Go yell. Go scream. Go tell him it's frakked up and you ain't gonna stand for it no more. Let him know where the boundaries are if he's gonna be a part of your life; 'cause if anyone needs a lesson in boundaries an' knowin' when to cease an' desist, it's your dear old uncle."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

Sadie was glad she'd managed to finish her beer - probably would have done some sort of spit-take with what Vitt said and that would have just been a damn shame and a waste. An ass. Yeah, that was a fair summary. And she wanted to go and be mad of the sort that he talked 'bout too. Whether the real deal or not, she never felt like she needed no body before all this and well... even if she cut ties with Atton, it weren't like she was actually alone.

She glanced over at Vittore and let a small smile come all natural like. Nope, not alone at all.

But then Vitt started sayin' the sort of thing that Inyos kinda did... Family weren't somethin' she was used to but she got the general idea that you were supposed to have some sort of unconditional junk for 'em. Especially if they fraked up but meant well; hells sometimes even if they didn't mean well. Atton was the only one she had aside from a mum who just flat out didn't want her. Her uncle did, though. At least in some sort of way he hadn't wanted t' ditch her. True he hadn't gone and exactly adopted her or nothin' - apparently due to some stubborn ass promises - but he'd done what he could.

"Yeah, told him we'd talk. Told him it'd be on my terms too. I ain't really sussed out what all I'm gonna lay down but... yeah, y're right. Boundaries 'n such." She sighed and spun the bottle slowly against her thigh as the rest of her weight kinda slumped against Vittore. "Right now, though? Right now I ain't givin' a crap for family. Well not real family, I s'ppose."

Sadie glanced up from where her head had come to rest on Vitt's shoulder, lettin' a small smile tug at her lips again. "Least not the blood related sort. 'M perfectly happy with everyone here on th' Tide. Kate, Sleaze, Bumble, an' you. Yup. All th' family-sort I need right there."

[Vittore Montegue]

Vittore smiled back, but there was a hint of bittersweet in the expression. The droids on the Crimson Tide were the closest thing that Vittore had to a family, plus Sadie of course; but it seemed so sad, so inadequate when Sadie described that as the extent of it. In Vittore's experience, family had a singular ability to cause pain and earn ire; to betray and disappoint you in the most heartfelt of ways; but they were still family, you know? No matter how many lies or disappointed sighs came out of his father's mouth, he'd still be dad. No matter how far Cambrio ran, or how squarely he turned his back, he'd still be Vittore's brother. Vittore hated them, hurt for them; but at the slightest drop of a hat he'd be there, gun in hand to answer their cries for help without the slightest hesitation. From the outside it looked like blind loyalty, some brainwashed adherence to people who didn't deserve it; but Vittore felt it in his bones, felt it like a need, a biological imperative. It wasn't about what was deserved, what was earned, what made logical sense: your heart just reached out, grabbed a hold of the people it decided were family; and that was that. No stopping it. No changing it.

"There's a whole lot that's perfect about you," Vittore replied gently, "But perfectly happy ain't one of 'em. Sure, maybe you feel like you ain't had a family before; but that's because the galaxy is dumb, and it always uses that word wrong. Family don't end with blood. It ain't just your uncle, or the parents that left you, or -"

He frowned, fumbling for the words.

"Family ain't just the people y' feel comfortable with. Sometimes, family is the people y' feel uncomfortable with, an' sometimes that's the point. It ain't a measure of blood, or genes, or law - it's a measure a' carin'. Family's the people who needle their way into y' heart, into y' soul, an' they wiggle an' jiggle in there, makin' you feel what they've done, more than y' feel it with anyone else. They're the people with the power t' warm y' heart, but also the ones who can freeze it or burn it with a thoughtless act - and that matters. That's important. If y' don't have people that do that, if y' don't have people that make y' feel that way?"

Vittore shook his head, shoulders slumping under the weight of the sentiments he was dredging up within himself.

"Your Uncle Atton is family. Y' share blood, so he gets in for free; an' y' deserve answers, an' explanations, an' better treatment than y' get from him right now. But that ain't the limit of it. Neither's this ship. Your Jedi guy, Inyos or whatever. He's havin' a pretty big impact on your life, right? Gone and made an important space for himself in your heart, an' in your life. Amaros too; he ain't just some guy y' know, it's more than that. An' this -" He fumbled for the name. "- Vhiran guy. Sounds to me like he used to matter. Sounds t' me like he used to matter once. Maybe he can again, if y' choose to let him be."

He shrugged.

"Some family y' can't help but have 'cause of blood. Some family y' heart goes an' chooses without askin'. The rest? That's up to you. An' even when it feels like enough, it ain't. Family ain't somethin' y' can ever have too much of. Someone like you, with a heart as big as yours? Y' deserve t' have as many damn people that matter around you as y' can possibly find."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

"Might make for an interestin' change," Sadie joked back, but her heart weren't really in it.

Vitt had a good point, she guessed. Sadie had always figured of family as some sort of text book thing that most people would go an' spout off. But when you really thought 'bout it, there was more to it. Maybe Vitt had somethin', maybe she was already buildin' up a family and damn if it didn't have some characters in it. That was okay, she supposed. Was kinda nice havin' folks around that didn't just want you for your skills.

He had a point 'bout Vhiran too, she may not have thought of him as anythin' close like that at the time but he probably fit the description anyhow. Now he was part of the bosslady's little troupe, which meant he'd be stickin' around most likely. Despite her tellin' him that they were good, there were probably some real bridges that needed to go and be fixed or crossed and whatnot. Family was supposed to have drama, she heard told once or twice, but the needless sort just weren't gonna do.

"Thanks," she said with far more certainty than the first quip. Was followed up with a quick kiss planted against his cheek before she settled back against Vitt's side. "For puttin' things in perspective. Still hard to think that I mean anythin' t' anyone, I guess. Reminders are good things."

[Vittore Montegue]

The words lingered in his chest, snagging against the hooks and barbs of his thorny soul like the errant snare of misplaced velcro. They weren't supposed to; there wasn't any deep meaning to it, beyond the kind of natural insecurities that almost anyone had - and yet something about them, that implication that meaning nothing was the reality that she found easiest to accept, filled him with a chilling, twisting discomfort.

But as much as he wanted to grab Sadie by the shoulders, to glare into her eyes and turn his throat hoarse after hour upon hour of insistent tirades about how much value she had, how much she was worth in his heart's eyes; he couldn't. Maybe he was just choosing his battles, stockpiling an arsenal of heartfelt compliments and meaning-laden words for a devastating assault that not even Sadie could protest. Maybe he just knew that today wasn't the day; maybe he knew that Sadie was too tired, or too adrift for anything he said to truly sink in. Maybe it was the way she leaned against him, and the feeling of bliss that radiated from that single point of contact throughout the entirety of him. Or maybe it was fear: the kind that always held him back; that any confessions he offered, any bearing of his soul, might present a reality so ugly that Sadie wouldn't be able to do anything but flee. It wouldn't have been the first time that Vittore's affection had driven a woman to the hills; and with all that had transpired with that affection since, it wasn't a path he had the strength to walk again.

"You mean a whole hell of a lot to me," he said quietly, the words almost sneaking out, Vittore's head leaning against Sadie's, stealing a shred more contact and comfort. "Ain't exactly plannin' on lettin' you forget that any time soon."

[Sadie K'Vesh]

A whole hell of a lot. Sadie couldn't help but sneak out one of them cut off - ugh, there was no better way to say it - giggles at that. Not on account of disbelief or thinkin' Vitt was insincere or nothin' mean of that nature; rather just the phrasin' of the thing. They both knew how they other felt, had said as much and let feelin's be expressed and all that. It weren't no sort of secret or nothin', not now anyhow, but neither one of 'em had exactly gone and said the L-word that folks went and made such a big ol' deal about, neither. They didn't exactly need to, though, it just weren't their way. So instead there were things like you mean a whole hell of a lot to me instead. It worked.

Sadie went and shifted how she was sittin' so her arms could work their way around Vitt's waist; kinda one of them silent ditto sort of jobs. She thought 'bout sayin' somethin' to add to the sentiment but nothin' good came to mind so she let the silence linger and instead tightened her hold on him for just a bit before settlin' back into place.

Yeah, maybe Vitt was right on the whole family thing. Tomorrow she'd have to go and fix some stuff up, but for right now this was all she was gonna do. Well... maybe get another beer.



***


The next day - when Sadie had realized she'd have to ask the bosslady 'bout where to find Vhiran, she was expectin' some sort of unseemly reply. My place was about the most tame that came to mind that Em could say and probably the top contender. The clinic that she was all too unkindly familiar with hadn't even come on the radar in Sadie's head so when that was the locale that the bosslady directed her to, Sadie weren't sure how to feel. Not goin' there seemed reasonable enough - bad memories and all. Though she kinda wanted to make things right with 'Ran too. Damn verse and it's pain in the arse decisions.

In the end the right thing won out, which she was rather proud of, succumbin' to fear to avoid seein' an ol' friend weren't somethin' Sadie wanted on her mental resume. Still, decisions made didn't exactly go an' make the deed easier and Sadie lost count how many times she stopped walkin' towards the clinic and considered 'bout a million and one better places she could be goin'. After all, Vhiran would get out eventually and then she could have a talk. Right? But nah, visitin' folks when they were sick was the sort of normal dren that she was tryin' to get used to goin' about doin'.

So she showed up and was directed to the room, tryin' to keep the chills and mental shakes at bay. Besides, this were the place that had helped her - far from the scene of the crime sort of deal. Still, Sadie weren't quite prepared for the sight of Vhiran in the bed lookin' like the machines monitorin' him were more keepin' him alive. She hadn't gotten too into it with the bosslady on exactly why 'Ran was in the joint or why he had to stay overnight or what sort of procedure they were doin' on him. Privacy was in short supply in business like all of theirs, best let the family sort keep it when they could.

"Hey," - Not the best greetin' but it'd do - Sadie leaned against th' doorway, lingerin' half between comin' and goin'. "Sorry don't have a balloon or flowers or none o' that Get Well Soon stuff. Thinkin' th' staff wouldn't exactly go an' appreciate me totin' in a bottle of rotgut for ya, either so... yup, jus' me. Sayin... hi. Came t' see how y' were doin'..."

Sadie looked downright uncomfortable, she knew it. Funny enough though weren't totally on account of where she was so much as why now. Came all this way and now she hadn't the foggiest sort of idea of what to say.

[Vhiran Antilles]

Vhiran wished it had been a surprise; wished he hadn't felt her coming. Without the numbing effects of his deathsticks to dull the constant roar of the Force in his head however, he wasn't so lucky. He'd felt every step that Sadie had taken, her familiar aura standing out amid the cacophony. He'd felt her conflict, and her discomfort at being here; felt all the other emotions bubbling up beneath the surface. He didn't know why, of course, the bloody rumble of emotion rattling around in his brain wasn't nearly so specific; but it didn't take more than a couple of simple assumptions to fill in the blanks. He'd heard enough about what had happened to her to figure out why hospitals might not exactly be a place she wanted to be; could figure enough about how upside down her life had been turned to guess why seeing him might not exactly be a sunshine and roses prospect.

What hit him worst though was the ripple of emotions as she first caught sight of him. Proper worry, that was. Bloody hell. Do I really look that bad?

A smarter man might have taken that as a sign that maybe this path he'd been stumbling his life down didn't lead to that great a destination. A wise man though, like Vhiran was, knew not to dwell on that sort of stuff. Dwell on your mistakes enough to learn from them, sure, but then leave them be. No point anguishing over things you can't change. No use wasting time and effort on contemplation. After all, get a few beers in you and a lonely enough night, and they'll come rattling around in your head without you even needing to try.

"Ello, Sid," Vhiran offered, lifting the breathing mask aside, and pumping as much of his usual self into his voice as he could muster. It still came out a little raspy, but the swagger was there - and that was all that mattered.

He frowned a little as he contemplated her standing there, leaning all casual-like. If the Force was going to keep yelling at him, he might as well listen; but there was more to the story that Sadie was seeping out than he'd expected. She seemed brighter, somehow. Louder. Not in a happy way, neither - Vhiran had known her back in the footloose and fancy free days of youth, so he was no stranger to Big Sid in a good mood; and if anything, all the extra weight dragging on her soul made her seem more mellow and subdued. It was something else, though. Something inside. Kinda like peeking at a flower box in early spring. Wasn't anything growing or blooming just yet, but those tiny little seedlings, those little sprouts of green that started poking up through the earth? That was Sadie. A tiny whisper of Force growing inside her, more than he had ever noticed or felt before. He wondered how secret it was; wondered if she even knew; kicked himself for not knowing it was there back in the old days. Sure, wasn't all that much from his few years as a Youngling that'd have been much use, but it would have been better than nothing - and he knew from painful experience that the hardest part of all this Force bollocks was trying to figure it out all alone.

A knot of guilt twisted in his gut, his shame over having abandoned her redoubled. Bollocks. Wasn't meant to be thinking about that.

"I'll be fine, love," he lied; or maybe it wasn't. Maybe the only lies here were his to himself; his resignation and acceptance to die when apparently there were poor misguided people out here in the universe who'd maybe prefer he didn't. Maybe he would be fine. Maybe he just needed to trust in someone else for a change, and let that endgame actually play out.

So if he really was going to be fine, what then? What words could he utter to deflect attention away from how badly he'd broken himself? How did he navigate the mindfield he'd turned his life into, and find his way back to Ran and Sid without everything blowing up around him.

"It in't his fault."

The worlds tumbled out of him before he knew what he was saying.

"You're uncle, I mean. He's an arsehole for sure for presentin' me with a choice like that, but the choice I made was mine, an' the way I did it? That's all on me. Should a' told you. Should a' been honest about everythin'. Should a' been one of the guys in your life who didn't let you down, instead a' just bein' yet another one who left you t' the wolves."