Devaluate me!

[Pierce Tondry]

I'll bandwagon jump here since I could use the feedback.

Since returning to RP last year, I've written three main characters: Karin DeLumiar, Pierce Tondry, and Hobgoblin. If you have any feedback on anything I've written as one of those characters, I'd love to hear it! Below are links to the threads they've appeared in, if you want something to reference.

Karin DeLumiar:
Redefining "Me" - 10.241 (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?55960-Redefining-quot-Me-quot-10-241)

Pierce Tondry:
Escape Claws (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?56174-Escape-Claws) (Complete)
A Meet of Dragons (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?56306-A-Meet-of-Dragons&p=1040906#post1040906)

Pierce and Karin:
In Memoriam: Jane Starborn (http://www.sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?55903-In-Memorium-Jane-Starborn) (Complete)
Float On (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?56056-Float-On)
Corellia: Status Quo (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?56136-Corellia-Status-Quo)

Hobgoblin and Teagan s'Ilancy:
Seha'ra'ss'ad Seh'ana (http://www.sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?55807-Seha-ra-ss-ad-Seh-ana) (Complete)
A Perfect, Yet Unlikely Pairing (http://www.sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?55981-The-Girl-and-the-Goblin-1-A-Perfect-Yet-Unlikely-Pairing) (Complete)
Master and Apprentice (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?56437-Master-and-Apprentice)

Hobgoblin:
Toil and Trouble (http://www.sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?55842-Toil-and-Trouble) (On hold - absent RPer!)
Out That Sarlacc Pit (http://www.sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?55994-Out-that-Sarlaac-Pit)
You Must Be This Tall to Ride (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?56062-You-Must-Be-This-Tall-to-Ride)

[Charley]

I love what you've got going with Pierce and Karin. I don't think you've ever crafted scenery or dialogue as tightly ever before, and you're probably without peer in that regard on the forums right now. So much of the emotion is locked up cool and cold, but you let out just enough at the exact right times to mingle into the pregnant action and urgency whenever those two are around. I wish I could point out the exact je ne sais quoi of what you're doing, but I love to see you set a scene like few others.

Hob has been really interesting, and the dynamic with Teagan is one that is sweet, full of whimsy, but also with a very strong moral undercurrent that I think a lot of Jedi dynamics miss. This is the sort of story I like to see among Jedi. Great warriors are fine, but wars not make one great, after all.

[Aurelias Kazaar]

Having read Escape Claws, I really enjoy it.

I'm also a big fan at how all your characters sound different. Hob is fantastic.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

I'm very much enjoying Karin, as I feel she's the Yin to Pierce's Yang. She compliments him, and the way you write her is fluid and - while at times succinct - really pays off for a character like her. Her small interaction with Cerie is a great start to something that has larger potential, and I like her boldness and give-no-cares attitude. She seems to know what it takes to get the job done and doesn't complain, but she also seems to have a soft spot for the softer things in life, and that gives her more than one dimension and lets you really explore her.

Hob is my favorite of yours, but that's only because I'm the most familiar with him. Even pre-reset he had a likability. Though, that is probably colored by an old thread that you and I both were a part of, and the gentleness that he showed to s'Il despite him being a darksider and her being an unhinged Lupine. Post-reset, with his interactions with Teagan, have been so much fun. The first time, in the Little Moments thread was just too much fun. And then when we hashed out their Master/Padawan status, it all really came together with surprising ease. The way you show us his worldview is sweet, but heartbreaking at once. The glimpses you've given us of his past is shocking to see, but it makes him so much more than a simple jokester. I'm excited to see how his and Teagan's relationship grows :hug