Speak no Evil

[Xanatos Etanial]

A gnawing nervousness bit at the blue-haired young man's gut as he finally stepped off the shuttle and raised his hand to shield his eyes from the mid-day light that greeted him. Master Zem Vymes, as Etanial had finally learned the Jedi's name, had already informed him that there would be certain... discussions that would need to occur once he arrived on the planet. Of course there would, one did not simply turn traitor to the Galactic Empire, shooting a superior officer in the act, and then walk up to the Jedi's front door and stroll inside as if he were already welcome there.

As much as his concern grew and a tight knot centered in his stomach, his curiosity was growing quicker. So many stories he'd been told of the Jedi, of their nature. The holofilms and newsreels made them seem monstrous, self-centered and vile. The fact that he had walked off the ship to a beautiful afternoon, with the sound of... laughter? Yes, definitely laughter, somewhere in the distance, was a stark contrast to what part of him had expected. Just how deeply had the Empire lied to him? He took the moment to stretch, and take several deep breaths to try and recenter himself to what he was going to be facing.

He was thankful, in that moment, that the mission had called for him to be in civilian clothes over an Imperial uniform as he had not had an opportunity to change out of what he wore. The realization that it was likely all he owned now hit him a moment later, no doubt his property both on his homeworld and off had been seized. A sigh rippled through his frame, and the weight of his actions settled upon his shoulders. He truly felt like a stranger in a stange land.

[Halajiin Rabeak]

It seemed like once a week, the shuttles would come and drop off supplies, new workers, more family members, and lately, new suckers for the Jedi Order. Halajiin Rabeak had grown used to it, and looked on with obvious ambivalence. The workers, well, he couldn't fault them. Work was work, and it paid well enough, if they could put up with that joyless taskmaster, Ramasatan. Families? Again, Hal had no issue, as family was the one thing you could never replace. But those who hoped to be Jedi? Hah, Hal actually chuckled, a smile pulling up the corners of that long, yell0w-furred muzzle. Wannabe Jedi, now that was a right laugh, there.

"Come to the Jedi Order; learn amazing skills and become a protector of the galaxy!" Hal recited the stupidly optimistic sales pitch in his head. Some "Order" this was. A handful of masters, most so damaged they never would have made it to the Masters Council back in the day, and then maybe a dozen or so knights, other than himself, all vying for attention from those masters, or bucking for a seat on the council themselves. That is, if they weren't trying to find new ways to interpret the Jedi code in some strange, unfathomable way. All while an ever-growing crop of hopeful students stumbled and struggled under their haphazard tutelage, being fed so many points of view that it was a wonder any of them could hold a training saber right side up.

None of that would have happened in Hal's day. And surely his Order never would have fallen to the heel of the Empire. Things were better, in Hal's day, and as he sucked upon his cherry-flavored sucker pop, he sighed, spotting yet another obvious hopeful stepping off the transport. Blue hair, designer clothes, yeah, this one was going to go far. Far into the mess of haphazard instruction and cyprian philosophy. If only there was someone who could save this sorry soul, and to show him how things really were.

Why not us? The Nehantite's higher reasoning asked, inside his head.

Like we'd be allowed to. We're not exactly card-carrying members of the Jedi Order, right now, remember? His base natures replied.

We don't need a card. We're a Jedi Knight, our station given to us by a real Council of Masters. We proved our worth, and damn it, we're in better head-space than most of the wackos, here.

That was almost a hundred and eight years ago, though. Times change.

The truth never changes. That's the beauty of truth. Maybe we ought to teach this kid the truth.

Or see if he wants to go out for a drink. Or dinner...

Where we can talk about the truth, right?

Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.... truth. That's the ticket.

And you wonder why I have trust issues.

With a sigh, Hal pulled the mostly finished sucker from his mouth and shook his head. All his thoughts about trying to help one of the newbies went out the window as a familiar face departed the shuttle. Zem Vymes. Buzzkill.

The sight of the master was reason enough for Hal to put his sucker back into his mouth, and keep his mouth shut. The last thing he needed was more trouble, as it was Zem's order that put him in the brig on the Whaladon for several months after Hal's wildly successful Ilum raid.

Wildly successful, and hideously illegal.

We won, didn't we? Nobody got hurt too bad, and my plan was sound, wasn't it?

Just be glad we're even tolerated. You're really pushing it with that "JEDI" tee shirt you're wearing.

What? I am a Jedi, and so it's not like it's false advertising. Besides, it gets more attention from the ladies.
Giving up on the voices in his head, Hal also gave up on common sense. Sure, Zem might tell this new kid that Hal was a bad influence, but... at least Hal might be able to plant a seed. Heaving himself up to his footpaws, Hal smoothed out his tee shirt and cargo pants, and headed on over, the white stem of his sucker sticking out the side of his mouth.

"Another new one, eh, Zem?" Hal asked, then extended his paw to the blue-haired young man for a shake, grinning. "Hi, I'm Halajiin Rabeak, the oldest and longest-serving Jedi Knight around here. Most folks just call me Hal."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem escorted Xanatos down the thoroughfare, though not far before Halajiin Rabeak pressed ahead for an early introduction. Zem regarded the knight with a nod.

"We'll see."

It was the best answer either of them could afford at the moment. Xanatos had gone through enough at this point to break lesser men. He was taking his first tender steps down a decent path. Hopefully that lead to a life of service in the Order, but Zem Vymes of all people knew how changeable the future could be.

Hal was already gladhanding, and Zem let him have his moment. The Nehantite wasn't his ideal candidate for first impressions, but he was a Jedi no matter his orthodoxy.

[Xanatos Etanial]

There were a great many things the former Imperial had anticipated upon his arrival. Both good and ill in his mind's eye, but the introduction of the furry Jedi, who Xanatos would have been certain was a Jedi even without him speaking his rank by the garb that, very proudly proclaimed "JEDI" across the front had not been something he'd expected.

"Uh, yes, well..." He glanced at Master Vymes as if at an immediate loss for the situation, then finally got his bearings. "I'm just here to listen, for the time being." He offered. "I'm not ready to make any sort of commitment just yet." It was the truth of the matter. Xanatos was uncertain where he was with things.

He took Hal's hand and shook, the bit of normalcy finally helping to bring a smile, small as it were to his face. "Xanatos Etanial." He had to force himself to stop, to keep from instinctively offering his rank. It had been so long since he had simply introduced himself by first and last name, 'Imperial Intelligence' 'Imperial Iquistoriate' 'of the Mithosian Etanials. Without a title or rank behind his name he felt almost... naked.

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Hal grinned, his handshake firm, but not crushing, and when he let go, he laughed. "Trust me, I totally get the whole fear of committment thing. Story of my life, so the ladies say," he said, tail flicking lightly behind himself. He could feel the look he was getting from the old Master, but Hal paid Zem no mind for the moment.

"In any case, welcome to Ossus, it's a lot more... built... than we I first got here," the Nehantite then said, backing off a step. "I'll let Master Vymes give you the official tour and the sales pitch, but, once you wake up from that coma, come see me and I'll show you all the fun stuff."

Hal's face turned serious as he changed his focus to Zem, then bit his lower lip momentarily before admitting, "Oh, by the way... uh, the construction guys won't let us use their pool table anymore. For some strange, and totally unfounded reason, they think I cheated in a few games, so... Jedi aren't allowed, now. Talk about discrimination. Anyhoo, enjoy the tour!"

[Zem Vymes]

Zem watched Hal mosey along on his merry. Ever the eccentric, he seemed perpetually content to bang his drum to a different song. Zem bade Xanatos along.

"Halajiin is quite a talented knight. He's just...well, he was frozen for over a century."

Maybe a cosmic case of carbonite freezer burn was a flippant way of describing him, but the last thing Zem wanted for Xanatos was a potential journey-ending derail, so he continued on.

"The council chambers are just ahead. I made some arrangements in advance for my colleagues to have a private dialogue with you. I think answers for all of us will do us good, you included."

[Xanatos Etanial]

Xanatos watched the Knight walk off, rather stricken by Master Vymes words. Frozen for over a century? The Jedi certainly lived rather exotic lives. He continued to walk as the moved forward through the thoroughfare, taking in the bustling activity and conversation that he could pick up on in the background. A blue droid wearing... nurses scrubs? It wandered past him, almost seeming to smile in polite greeting when it, she? No, it noticed his vision on it. Strange.

Other sights greeted him, construction workers moving about the compound, he was certain he'd seen a Cizerak in full military uniform at some point as well, and what he had to assume were Knights and Padawans talking together, some in light conversation, others in from what little the wind carried to him seemingly deeper, intellectual pursuits. It was surreal, even with the realization that the situation was not how the Empire had described it in his training, this was completely removed from what he would have expected.

His attention refocused as he and Master Vymes finally came to a stop, and he let a breath escape that he hadn't realized he'd been holding. The nervousness crawled back into the pit of his stomach and he attempted to silence it. "So, anything I should know before we enter, Master Vymes?"

[Zem Vymes]

Zem halted with Xanatos and sized the man up at the threshold.

"Be as truthful with the Council as you have been with me. This may not be easy, I understand. But the truth will liberate you in ways you can only comprehend afterward."

He waited to see if Xanatos was prepared to make that commitment. If he wasn't, this journey may be over before it began.

[Xanatos Etanial]

On Zeltros Xanatos had been ready to die, even as far as to take his own life and had been more at ease in those moments than he felt in being asked to opening bare his sins before a council of Jedi. It made little sense to him even as a million fears and insecurities creeped through him, pleading with him to abandon this course, or to fabricate some lie to hide his shame. He took a deep breath, and slowly released it, the worries faded and he grabbed hold of a small measure of clarity. Master Vymes had shared hope with Xanatos, had given him something to believe in - he owed it to the man, to himself, to see this through properly. He had been prepared to die, now he had to be prepared to face the judgement he'd fled from for so long.

He nodded slowly, breathing staying steady to abate his nervousness and put any lingering fear out of his mind. "I will be hard for me, Master Jedi," he said truthfully, "but I will be honest with them, and share with them everything that is asked of me." He was as ready for this as he was ever going to manage to be.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem nodded. He pressed a hand to the door, and it parted open.

Within the Council chamber, there was plenty of space and natural light. Within the circular room, the eyes were drawn to three chairs. They weren't particularly large or ostentatious, but they were nearly the only furnishings in the room. Two of the chairs were presently occupied by the remainder of the Council whom Zem had called to order for this particular reason. Serena Laran sat at the head of the room opposite the door. To her right sat Reverend Solomon. The chair on the left was reserved for him. Walking Xanatos into the room he put a hand on the young man's shoulder as the reached the center.

"Stand here, son."

With that, Zem took his seat.

"As you know from my message," Zem spoke clearly so that his voice carried to everyone in attendance. "the mission to Zeltros has failed. Dargus Marr was tracked down by an Imperial Knight named Baastian Cain and killed."

The mission itself was more an olive branch to like minds in the Alliance, who would understandably be disappointed in the result.

"During the attempt to escort the Marr family to safety, I received aid from an Imperial defector."

Vymes gestured to Xanatos.

"This is Xanatos Etanial."

[Rev Solomon]

To the right side of the council chamber was a small desk where a thickset, dark-haired human girl in padawan's robes sat dutifully pecking away at a stenographer's console, up until Zem spoke the words imperial defector. Then she looked up from her work with wide, haunted eyes. Defectors were not unknown in Alliance ranks - until recently, all the Alliance were traitors to the Empire at some level. But never, since the Jedi had regrouped from their exile, had an Imperial been welcomed into the Jedi Council. Even though Zem's message had prepared him, Reverend Solomon couldn't help an extra measure of vigilance as he studied the young man who stood before them now.

"Mr. Etanial," he said, "the Jedi Council thanks you for assisting Master Vimes and the Marr family in their time of peril. I understand your swift actions helped to ensure the safe passage of Allani and Tameena Marr into Alliance territory. These actions no doubt came at great personal cost to yourself. You are to be commended."

[Serena Laran]

Serena Laran had her hands folded in her lap, and she watched as Zem brought in the blue haired former Imperial. Solomon responded to the introduction, and her fingers tightened imperceptibly as he finished. She smiled at the young man, her eyes a little cooler than normal. "Yes, Master Vymes spoke very highly of you in his message."

She paused, but there was more, and it did no good to anyone to skirt around the issue like frightened children. "It is my understanding that you were to become an Imperial Knight, yourself, before you decided to turn against the Empire. Can you tell me why you have changed your mind, Mr. Etanial?"

[Xanatos Etanial]

Straight and to the point, despite the different situation, despite the different planet there was something oddly familiar about all of this. He recalled any number of debriefings, meetings with superiors where he had stood like this before a similarly sat group of those who wished to get the follow understanding of a situation. Those had been his superiors in the Empire, rather than these Jedi however.

He sighed softly straightening, and taking a deeper breath to clear the air around him before crossing his hands behind his back instinctively, all but standing at attention. "For the sake of full disclosure, Master Jedi, and... for the record." He motioned at the stenographer. "My name is Xanatos Etanial, former agent - Class I - of Imperial intelligence, and prior to that..." He knew the next part would not go over well, "member of the Inquistoriate, which recruited me under their doctrine for adepts."

"I had been promised a recommendation to the Knights for completing a mission on Zeltros. My understanding was that I was to track the believed defector Dargus Marr and report back when I had confirmation of his location. Which I did." He frowned softly, "For that I am truly sorry as my order was given to me in full following my report. I was to execute Dargus Marr and any potential co-conspirators. An order which, upon me asking for clarification, included his wife and daughter."

His face turned down and his stance slumped slightly, shoulders drooping as the strength went out of him, "...An order which I could not, and would not obey." He said, throat drying as he considered his next words. "Master Vymes informed me that I should be fully truthful with this council, and I believe he is quite correct. I could not obey that order Master Jedi, regardless of my years of service to the Empire, or my belief that I was trying to help it's citizens - because there are some actions that there is no justification for."

He shifted, nervousness growing in his gut, eyes looking to each of the master's in turn. "I have no desire to take another innocent life."

[Serena Laran]

Her lips tightened as he admitted being part of the Inquisitorate, but his last comment made her raise an eyebrow. "No desire to take another innocent life? Had you taken many, previously?"

[Xanatos Etanial]

The man standing before the Jedi council seemed to deflate, eyes unable to lock with the Jedi any longer as he looked somewhere, anywhere else.

"Master Jedi... have you ever been angry? Not just upset, or even furious. But to feel a rage so deeply overwhelming that you believe you will drown in it?" The words were said softly, somber and broken. This was his greatest shame, the worst of him. "I didn't know that such a rage were possible - but when I was 19 years old..." He swallowed, the words difficult, tears dotted the edges of his vision. "In a fit of jealous anger I..." He stammered, hand clenching as he forced the words out, "I took the lives of my sister and my mother, a crime for which I have never been held accountable."

A sigh escaped his lips as he managed to squeeze the words out, "To this day, Master Jedi, I do not know how I could have possibly felt such anger or fear to have committed an act so horrific." He looked at his own hands, "I could not recognize myself when next I looked in the mirror - and worse, there was something within me that would have found great solace in wallowing in that darkness."

"... That is the reason I joined the Empire, if you want a further insight." He finally managed to look to the Jedi Master, eyes wet with memory, "I wanted to protect others from monsters like me."

[Zem Vymes]

Hearing of Xanatos' anguish in an open dialogue with exhaustive detail gave Vymes a greater picture of the problems that faced the young man. The Jedi Master was silent for some time, steepling his fingers together in his lap.

"And you believe that you've failed to do so?"

There was a storm of emotion within Etanial. Zem leaned forward slightly, his brow knitting as he attempted to make matters more clear.

"Son, the turmoil inside you is plain to see. You said yourself you've not been held accountable for your crimes. The Jedi do not adjudicate Imperial Law. There may yet be a day of reckoning for you, but that matter isn't for this council to say."

The Jedi Master rest his hands on his knees, looking to Xanatos pointedly.

"What I can tell you, however, is that we are prepared to counsel you on how you hold yourself accountable. Carrying the seeds of the past's poison inside you is only asking for it to come out in the future."

[Xanatos Etanial]

Xanatos nodded solemnly at the words that the Jedi Master were speaking, he knew that one day he would need to face judgement for his actions on his home world. But that judgement would not come from an Imperial source - he owed it to the tradition of his people to stand before the royal court and announce his crime. His sentence would fall on him from his own bloodline, though distant. It was only fitting.

Mithos however lay in Imperial space, and while he knew he deserved the judgement he would receive from his people, he very much doubted in the judgement any Imperial court, assuming he ever saw one, would rest upon him.

The other words spoke comfort, of taking the responsibility for his crimes he knew he must, and of not allowing himself to be consumed by what he felt. The words spoke truth, but one thing the Master had said stood out to him, the question.

"And you believe that you've failed to do so?"

"I cannot see how I could possibly have done anything but fail." he said with a slowly returning cadence of strength to his voice, "I believed I was serving the needs of the Empire's people, and now I learn all I served was the Empire's own whims. I am left to wonder how many lives I have directly or indirectly destroyed by my role as an Imperial agent. How many more like Dargus Marr?" He shook his head, "How many adepts did my compliance with orders condemn to being held by the Empire, or worse?"

Memory struck him then, a burning curiosity building inside at that thought. "How many Jedi?" He looked at the Masters each in turn. "The day that I was brought in by the Inquisition, I'd met one of your order, he spoke freely of rebellion against the Empire."

"I admit, after enlisting I was curious as to what may have happened to him but his records were sealed. Knowing what I do now about what I have been a party too, I worry of his fate. Tell me, if I may be so bold to ask a question of this council, do you know of Kyle Krogan?" The day he'd been taken in for questioning was forever burned into his mind, until Zeltros he'd held it up as the day he'd turned his life around, and now he saw that it was simply another misstep in a lifetime of mistakes.

[Rev Solomon]

"Kyle Krogan is one of our Knights," Solomon replied. "He spent some time as a prisoner of the Inquisitoriate, but escaped one of their starships and rejoined the Jedi Order."

The preacher studied Xanatos keenly with every faculty available to him. He had heard all manner of confessions, some weeping, some railing, some stone-cold and uncaring, some even boasting about their evil deeds. You couldn't hear such things and remain unaffected, not if you still had a soul. But you also came to understand that sorrow alone was not the same thing as repentance. He wished he could receive Xanatos as just another supplicant in need of absolution, but the circumstances were more complicated than that.

"You should know that Alliance intelligence intends to debrief you," Solomon said. "But at Master Vymes's personal request, a temporary stay has been issued, and you've been remanded to our custody for the time being. You've been given a reprieve, one that most men in your position don't have. If it were up to you, Mr. Etanial, how would you spend this time?"

[Xanatos Etanial]

So Krogan was alive, and back with the Jedi. That sent a shock of relief through the former Imperial. At least that was one life he hadn't irreparably damaged.

That was expected, to be honest he'd been surprised that the Alliance hadn't been the first thing he'd seen when arriving. You didn't defect without talking to someone though - and really, that thought struck him. Had he defected? True he had not only refused an order, one that he very much believed to be immoral and illegal, and he had attacked an Imperial Knight in those actions. He was a traitor, certainly. He accepted that fact, as it was truth, but he had no connection to the Alliance, no allegiance.

The Jedi were especially good at forcing one to look inward it seemed. He truly wish he'd known more about them before his life had taken the path it had, more than simply recognizing them as holy men and women who were spoken about as heroes or protectors, or later as the believed villains that the Empire had taught him to be. The question as to what he would do with his remaining time fit an odd niche in that regard. He truly didn't know enough about things beyond what he had believed in his indoctrination.

"I'd like to learn more about your Order, honestly". He thought about that idea, nodding as he rolled the concept in his head. "I have no one to contact, no friends or family left to spend my time with, no home to return to at all. The Empire paints the Jedi as misguided at best, and my perception has been tinted by their lens. If all I have is a brief amount of time before I spend who knows how long sharing everything I can with the Alliance, then I'd like an opportunity to correct that."

[Serena Laran]

Serena couldn't help but feel the man's relief when Sol spoke of Kyle. "You may well spend the time here you desire, Mr. Etanial. What do you know of Kyle Krogen? Did he receive your attentions while you were with the Inquisitorate?" Her face was no less calm than before, but her eyes were intense.

[Xanatos Etanial]

He shook his head, "No ma'am. I believe we were both brought in around the same time, and where I was offered the opportunity to enlist, and accepted, he... well." He skirted that particular dialogue, "But I was never in the role of an interrogator, the majority of my time with the Inquistoriate saw me behind a desk. Inquisitor Y'roth had spoken to me of bringing me into a few projects, but it never materialized. As for Kyle Krogan, I know very little, only that he had been apprehended and was not cooperating. Beyond that his files were past my clearance level."

"I met him once, and only once." Xanatos admitted candidly, "On Coruscant. I had used the Gift, pardon me, the Force in an act of goodwill, and your Mr. Krogan arrived afterwards speaking of standing against the Empire's tyranny. The Inquisition arrived while we were speaking, I surrendered and he fled."

Xanatos understood why he had fled, more-so now with a proper understanding of the nature of the Empire he had sworn an oath to previously. "I'm just grateful that he is alright."

[Serena Laran]

At the mention of Y'roth Serena closed her eyes, inhaling sharply through her nose. He has no power over me, she reminded herself, trying to exhale softly. Her face had paled, she knew, and after a moment she opened her eyes, Xanatos finishing up his answer. "As are we," she managed,

[Rev Solomon]

Solomon knew, without even consulting the Force, where Serena's mind had gone in these last questions. He'd helped to rescue her from the grip of the Inquisitoriate, and had been by her side through the long and painful recuperation that followed. He glanced her way, a gesture of encouragement, but he could see that her spirit, though tested, was strong.

"Master Vymes reports you were being groomed for the Imperial Knights. What contact have you had with them?"

[Xanatos Etanial]

Xanatos swallowed at the mention of the Knights of the Imperial Throne, wringing his hands slightly as he shook his head. "I had completed an initial application for consideration, and been promised a positive word from my commanding officer toward getting placement within their ranks. Beyond that my experience was the same as most citizens, Imperial agent or other. I watched the holo-films, saw them in action from time to time..." He chuckled slightly, suddenly bemused, "I suppose I can't hurt your opinion of me any further by admitting to somewhat idolizing them. Heroes who protected the citizenry through their use of the Force, led by a lantern jawed defender of right, Baastian Cain." He shrugged a bit, face falling, "Or at least that's how they sold them to the rest of us. I was just as surprised to see Knight Cain on Zeltros as Master Vymes was."

He shook his head again, eyes darting to the ground as the events played back over in his mind, "He knew my name." He laughed bitterly, "told me I could still do the right thing." He looked back up, letting a breath out in a mixture of disappointment and crushed dreams, "The right thing isn't murdering the people we're supposed to protect. I suppose reality isn't quite like the news-holos." He perked up a bit at that, a momentary smile falling over his face as he remembered the hug from Tameena, taking solace in the fact that when it had finally come down to it, he was certain he had done the right thing.

[Zem Vymes]

At the mention of Baastian Cain, Vymes added more pertinent information to the hearing.

"During the altercation in which Knight Cain confronted us, he was killed."

There was no good of this fact on Zem's face. He still thought about the moment, vivid in his mind. A waste.

"They are a strange sect. I sensed no darkness from the man and yet he was wholly committed to the sanctity of the Imperial state. He believed in it assuredly, with an integrity I can say nothing against and only respect."

Vymes shook his head.

"If there are more of his kind that we face, our enemy has adapted to use a disturbing weapon against us."

[Rev Solomon]

Disturbing, indeed. If it was harrowing to face the Dark Side in combat, at least you knew where you stood. When Light clashed with Light, everything seemed to turn a little grayer. Solomon knew that from experience.

"There is at least one more Light-sider in their ranks, if she still lives," he said. "A young Twi'lek woman named Palara Iscandar. I had the opportunity to speak to her at length on Generis. She said she had been taught that the Light and the Dark are merely different tools to be used in the service of the Empire. If there are more practitioners of the Light among the Imperial Knights, we can be certain their understanding of it is different than our own."

[Serena Laran]

Serena looked at Sol sharply before recovering and turning her gaze back to Xanatos. "I hope you will forgive me, but I find it hard to believe that in your time with the Inquisitorate that you never once encountered a situation such as the one you recently found yourself in. What did you do for them? If you pushed datapads around, surely you saw reports of atrocities being committed against Force users. Against Jedi. Like Kyle Krogen, who was tortured by the Inquisition. And you never once thought to look up his name? See where he was, or if the Inquisition had let him go?

"Perhaps you did not want to know," she said darkly.

[Xanatos Etanial]

Light and Dark sides. His eyes all but focused on Solomon as he spoke, he'd heard the terms of course, but all was considered them more a turn of phrase than separate things. Ways of discussing the actions you perform, rather than anything more tangible. The he spoke of them however... he almost didn't hear Master Laran's comment and accusation, but when it did register he once again found himself faced with his own shame.

"I cannot speak of the reason why I didn't have access to Kyle Krogran's file, and I certainly did attempt to look him up. I did not have clearance, perhaps I was specifically blocked from his file as they thought there may still be a connection between us. I cannot say, I truly don't know." He ground his teeth slightly considering the rest, "I always felt as if there was something I wasn't aware of in the Inquisition, some role that I was being prepared for. A newly enlisted adept doesn't get the sort of attention I found myself with, meeting with Inquisitor Y'roth, constant visits from a man who claimed to be my friend, Agent Crestmere. Whatever it was didn't happen though, and maybe the Inquisition wasn't sure what to do with me after that. So yes, I pushed datapads around - and yes, I saw names. I saw reports."

He sighed softly, "I suppose it's far easier to justify what's happening when you don't see it yourself, and every file you do encounter uses carefully chosen terminology. Insurgent. Terrorist. Enhanced Interrogation." He shook his head slightly, "I'm not looking to make an excuse for my actions. I recognize how complacent I was in what the Empire engaged in." He closed his eyes wincing at the memory.

"Bespin." he said raggedly, "There was an incident on Bespin. I was the senior in a squadron of low ranking Agents, and had been given command for the mission. We were tracking an insurgent through a residential area, and when we finally encountered him, he pleaded his innocence." Etanial shook his head slightly, "I asked command for further instruction, believing perhaps he should be allowed to plead his case. I was told the evidence was clear, and I had my orders." His lips tightened, "So I followed them - but it didn't sit right. Something in his eyes, in how earnestly he had made his defense... I couldn't sleep well after that. My superiors likely noticed the change as well, as I found myself pulled off of field duty afterward."

"Zeltros was... likely a test. The similarities between the Marr's situation and what happened on Bespin... Knight Cain already being on hand." He offered a plaintive look to the council, "I can offer nothing in defense of my own actions. I won't attempt to say I was merely following orders. All I can offer is that they gave me something to believe in..." He grew a bit more distant, "and that a man with conviction can justify many evil acts."

His attention fell back to Solomon though, even through the remembrance of his actions what had been said about the light side and dark side had simmered in the back of his mind. "You mentioned light and dark, Master Jedi. I know something of the terms, but I'm ignorant on the details. What, precisely, is the difference?"

[Rev Solomon]

It didn't surprise Solomon that Xanatos didn't know. The Inquisitoriate had preferred the Dark Side because it was a quick and easy road to power, and tolerated the Light only because it could do some things the Dark couldn't. Such a utilitarian viewpoint didn't bother much with matters of the soul.

"The Light Side and the Dark Side are two aspects of the Living Force," Solomon replied. "The Light Side is life, compassion, healing, and wisdom. The Dark Side is death, domination, corruption, and judgment. There are those who believe that Light and Dark are equal parts to be held in balance, but the Jedi believe, and hold it as the core of all our teachings, that the Light Side is the true nature of the Force. The Dark is a perversion, the result of giving oneself over to fear, anger, jealousy, and greed. Those who follow the Dark path are dominated by it and, eventually, destroyed by it."

[Serena Laran]

Serena began to frown as Xanatos spoke of Bespin, at first thinking that he was talking about the incident that had led to her own capture, but the pressure inside didn't subside when it became clear it was a separate event. Solomon answered a question, but she barely heard him over the ringing in her ears.

She stood to her feet abruptly, interrupting the conversation. "Are we really going to sit here and pretend that we will accept this...Inquisitor filth into the Jedi Order? The road to hell is paved with good intentions Mr. Etanial." She turned to her fellow Council members, seeing shock on their faces. They would forgive their enemies until there was nothing left of the Jedi but ashes. "Am I the only one who sees the truth?!"

Her face hardened, and she thrust her hand out toward Xanatos, flinging him ten feet backward and slamming his body against the wall. She walked toward him...

...Serena blinked, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. Solomon was still talking. She was still sitting. Xanatos stood before them, listening intently to Sol's words. And from him she could feel a thread of hope; hope for a second chance. A chance to redeem himself, even if it meant sitting in a cell and talking to Alliance Intelligence for the rest of his life.

She kept her mouth closed, forcing tense muscles to relax. As much as she had hoped she had put her experience with the Inquisition behind her, it appeared that she had been very mistaken.

[Xanatos Etanial]

Xanatos thought about what Solomon said realization slowly dawning on him, it took him a few moments, wrapped up in his own thoughts as he was, to notice that the other Master was drilling a hole through him with her gaze, though said nothing, if nothing else he felt even more self-conscious, painfully aware of how his actions painted him. He was at a loss for himself, in truth, for how he could have turned a blind eye to such things that in retrospect were obvious.

Right for the moment, however, his thoughts were on a much older crime he had committed.

"The Dark is a perversion, the result of giving oneself over to fear, anger, jealousy, and greed. Those who follow the Dark path are dominated by it and, eventually, destroyed by it."

How had he put it himself when confessing to the act that took his mother and sister? A darkness so deep he could have been content to wallow in it? His lips pursed tighter. "I know that I'm likely asking more questions than someone who is being interrogated should be, but if I can ask a bit more on that topic, sir... Is it possible for an adept, unknowing of the Force in any real capacity to have tapped into the... dark side?"

A lump built in his throat, the possibility of an answer to a question he'd been asking himself for so many years suddenly within reach.

[Zem Vymes]

"That's all too easy, son."

Zem nodded, deep in thought. He glanced sidelong at Serena, feeling a substantive change of feelings roiling within her. Of all the Jedi with experience in dealing with the Inquisitorate, hers was the deepest and most painfully intimate. He did not doubt that the level of candor in this discussion was responsible.

"The feelings that the dark side thrive on are feelings that everyone has faced at some point in their lives. We are not above being flesh and blood, and subject to the laws and whims therein. It takes a lifetime of training to gird one's self against the temptation to fuel dark desires through the force."

[Rev Solomon]

Solomon, too, noticed the turmoil in Serena, and much as he wanted to reach a comforting hand toward her, the Council chambers were not the place for such a display. He reached out with his feelings instead, searching for the gentle pulse he was used to feeling from her, like ripples on a pond, and calmly extended his own influence into her troubled waters.

Peace. I am here with you.

[Xanatos Etanial]

The lump all but leaped out of his mouth as his heart beat as hard as he could remember, head swimming with the knowledge. He'd wondered for years how anyone could feel so much anger and rage, how he could possibly have done what he did to his mother and sister. This, THIS made sense. The atmosphere in the chamber had changed though, and it hardly seemed appropriate to continue with the questions that he now had.

"I... see. Thank you." He wrung his hands though, hoping he would still get the opportunity to ask at least one last request before he was likely to be escorted away by the Alliance.

[Serena Laran]

Serena felt a ripple in the Force, a gentle touch of peace on her soul. She took a measured breath and looked at Solomon, nodding slightly. Thank you. What more could be said, in these chambers?

She returned her gaze to Xanatos. "We are not interrogating you, Mr. Etanial. We merely wish to ascertain your convictions, and your character. A strategic betrayal of a comrade, meant to gain the trust of the Jedi and find a place among us..." She shrugged. "It is not outside the realm of possibility." She leaned forward. "The Force is an impartial judge - it can show us the way to the truth, regardless of what or where the truth is. As I see it, the truth of you is that you were overcome by dark impulses. You fell in with bad company - evil men - who fed you lies and half truths you were happy to believe as long as it kept you out of a cell."

The peaceful intentions from Solomon increased in intensity, and she sat back, the stern look on her face replaced by a weary expression. "Ultimately, however, ones past is exactly that - the past. What truly matters is the steps you plan to take now, and in the future. Is it more darkness you seek, Mr. Etanial, or the light?"

[Xanatos Etanial]

He nodded at her words, knowing the truth that she imparted in them. In fact he had been all too happy to believe those lies, it was convenient, wasn't it? It made him feel as if he were doing something right in the universe, that he wasn't an evil man himself. In truth he'd merely hid behind far more evil men to mask his own guilt.

This however felt entirely different, what the Jedi taught about a difference between light and dark, the actions Zem Vymes had taken to protect the Marrs and himself. The honesty that this council had offered him throughout it all. What was he to do? He had a request, one that he barely felt qualified to make to this council, but if he were to make it his opportunity was now, and now alone.

"Master Jedi." He said, standing a bit taller, "I will not ask to join your order, I am aware that a man like myself does not deserve such a consideration. However, for as long as it is possible, I would request to be able to study the Jedi ways. There is truth here that I can see I am in need of. If it is at all possible for a man like me to stand in the light, that is where I need to be." He lowered his head, all but holding his breath, "Please."

[Rev Solomon]

Solomon traded glanced with his fellow Councillors. In Zem's eyes, he saw compassion, in Serena's he saw resignation. He wasn't certain what he was projecting, but if he had to guess, it was probably recognition.

"The Dark Side leads to destruction, but the Light brings redemption," he said. "Others have walked that path before you, Xanatos. I speak as one of them. There is no erasing the past. There is no penance you can perform to undo your past sins. But you can face the future as a new creation, reborn in the Light Side of the Force. If you are sincere, I will do what I can to help you on that journey."

[Zem Vymes]

Master Vymes sat silent a moment, drawing a hand up to his chin in contemplation of Xanatos' request. To be in his position, damned by a past fall and wicked deeds, but doggedly searching for a way towards redemption.

"We Jedi are teachers. We spend the greater share of our lifetimes imparting knowledge handed down through a thousand generations. I cannot tell you whether this will deliver catharsis or purpose to you, Xanatos Etanial. We can teach. It is not enough for one to listen, you must discover how to hear."

Zem nodded across in understanding with Solomon. If there was no belief in redemption, the galaxy was a dark place indeed.

[Serena Laran]

Serena found she was gritting her teeth, and she made her jaw relax. She wanted nothing more than to get up and walk out; to have nothing more to do with this meeting or this talk, but she remained where she was. "I do not know how long you will be on Ossus, Mr. Etanial, but while you are here you will be continually supervised by a Jedi, even if you are in Alliance custody." It was stating the obvious, but she wasn't sure what else she trusted herself to say.

"We can instruct these Jedi to answer your questions about the nature of the Force." Serena stood up, looking at the three men in turn. "I believe we have said all there is to say for today. If you will excuse me, I have...other duties to attend to." Her hand gripped the skirt of her long robes, knuckles whitening. Zem and Solomon seemed to nod their assent, but she scarcely noticed, walking across the spacious room and skirting past Xanatos until she reached the door.

[Xanatos Etanial]

He watched the Master leave briefly, turning his attention back to the two that remained. It had been more than he'd hoped for, it was more than he deserved. He bowed low.

"Thank you." It was all he could offer to the Jedi, he'd have to remain under guard, but that was expected with his history, and he would still need to talk to Alliance intel, who were likely to be far less accommodating than even the Jedi had been. But there was a chance here now, where there hadn't been one before. He would find a way to walk in the light, he owed it to those he had hurt to see this through properly, and find some way to dedicate his life to serving others. It was the right course of action, and it felt so good to know he was finally taking the right steps.

[Rev Solomon]

"We will make arrangements..." Solomon's attention wavered as the chamber doors swung shut behind Serena. Every instinct he had was shouting the same message: Go after her.

"...arrangements to house you aboard the Whaladon under guard. Zem, can you see to it?"

In his mind, he'd already gone. His eyes were urgent when he turned to the Jedi Master.

[Zem Vymes]

Master Vymes nodded in agreement, his thoughts too turning to their colleague's state of mind. The state of the galaxy was taking them to a dark place once more. The Imperial Knights were every bit an instrument of tyranny as any other piece of the Empire's war machine, only this time given a veneer that made them something else.

If the Jedi order was going to survive, they had to adapt. Perhaps this was the first step.