First Steps down the Long Road

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her duties had kept her so busy. So very busy. Wherever the Alliance decided to send her, that was where she went. It was penance and so much more. The rebuilding of a once ironclad trust was something that could very well never happen in any sort of entirety, but she would do herself and the Rebellion of old a disservice if she did not at least try. Even before her fall she had been with them; despite her self-imposed exile, the Lupine had considered the Rebels her family, and now?

They were still family, and they were still home, but there were other commitments and ties that she still felt for the Jedi. Whether they would ever allow her back she couldn't say, but at the very least she could not ignore them. She had placed in their care her children, after all.

Her children.

Those above her station had allowed her now a short amount of time to travel to the Jedi homeworld of Ossuss, and with a healthy amount of trepidation mixed with anticipation, the Lupine had given the order for the Kheravassio to make best speed to Ossuss.

And now? Her personal shuttle dipped low, its' bulk held aloft as repulsorlifts kicked in and landing struts extended.

It was mid-afternoon on Ossuss, and yet it looked as dark as night, thunderheads blotting oiut the sun and dropping a torrential downpour upon the ground. Thunder rattled the air in the distance, following after the beautiful display of lightning that set the sky afire in purple light.


Would any be present to greet her? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Only time would tell.

The thought of seeing her children; of taking up both Teagan and Markos into her arms overrode any other thoughts for the time being, and as the shuttle settled fully on the drenched tarmac, s'Il found herself undoing her crashwebbing as if in a daze. The pilot gave her a nod and a short, two-fingered wave, and standing, the Lupine instinctively brushed at one arm of her uniform tunic, wiping away any possible unseen specks of dust.

"Bit wet out there, Captain."

"Looks that way."

The shuttle pilot moved to undo his own harness, standing quickly as he made his way to the aft portion of the small, sleek shuttle.

"I'll escort you out."

"Thank you, Varin."

As the boarding ramp descended, the spray of windblown raindrops began to dot the once dry metal until it was as wet as the ground outside. Varin followed his superior as she began the short trek downward.

[Zem Vymes]

He'd felt her presence even before the notification of a ship entering orbit reached him. That was the nature of the bond they shared. That connection that conquered all distance and obstacle. As he closed down the comm link in his tent that connected him with the command hub, Zem Vymes sat still at his desk, listening to the water beating against the heavy sealed fabric of the tent above him. It was difficult to avoid being elated, but he knew exactly how much courage it took for Loklorien s'Ilancy to make this difficult first step back. Difficult for her, and difficult for the Jedi. Though it was not in their way to hold grudges, it was perhaps impossible to forget who Loklorien once was, the decisions she made, and the things she did. Terrible things. Acts beyond forgiveness in nearly any other circumstance. Wounds might very well heal, but scar tissue might not be avoidable - even for him. That being said, if he wasn't the one to make that first step, then who?

By the time the shuttle had touched down, he was waiting at the muddy flats outside of the tarmac. His voluminous Jedi robe shrouded his figure, leaving a baggy, soaked brown silhouette set against the artificial glow of the spotlamps above the landing sight. His face obscured by shadow, he needn't draw his hood back for her to know exactly who had been the first to welcome her home.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Was there any possibility that it would be anyone other than him? She slowed momentarily, allowing a smile to briefly tug at her lips before pausing just before the rain would've touched her boots. She turned to Varin.

"I think I can make it the rest of the way."

It was said with an understanding smile, and at Varin's perplexed look, the Lupine gave a slight flick of her fingers.

"It is only rain. One never was hurt from that."

The pilot nodded reluctantly, and standing at attention, gave his Captain a salute that she returned in equal.

Stepping onto the tarmac alone, Lok s'Ilancy felt the fabric of her uniform soaked through in short time. It did not matter. She moved ahead, features so carefully controlled and calm as she approached the one who had come to meet her. And even if she could not see his face, the Lupine gave a light smile through the deluge that separated them.

[Zem Vymes]

"I'm glad you came."

It was a small thing to say, but her journey was no small matter of travel. It had taken courage and fortitude that, in the wake of the terrible events of her fall and redemption, Loklorien had questioned were even within her. It was why she had stayed away. It was why she had sent her children to stay in care of the Jedi while she took a different path. Zem Vymes' gratitude was not a casual platitude. He knew the difficulty in that first step. His clasped robe sleeves parted a hand exposed to the rain as he held it out to her.

"Welcome home."

Home meant many things to Loklorien. It was a place of belonging of body and soul, a place where one came from and where one was destined to be. She'd known many homes. Schwartzweld, the temple on Coruscant, the Layla, the Dauntless. Home could be those places and more. It was always where you belonged.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She took his hand in a strong grip, her light smile turning a shade of sombre.

"I had to come," her voice seemed to cut through the rain between them with no effort at all, and as she held his hand, slender fingers holding tightly, the Lupine held his gaze for only a moment longer before sending here eyes downward.

"I... "

What was there to say? What was there to do? In the gravity of everything around them; the heavy weight and consequences of life's decisions, the complete absurdity of their immediate predicament pushed its' way to the forefront of everything else in her mind. She let out a light laugh, lifting her eyes back up to his and gave his hand a squeeze.

"We should go somewhere where it is dry."

[Zem Vymes]

"I have a tent not far from the tarmac."

He could feel the hesitant eyes on him even as he turned in that direction, and smiled from beneath the cowl.

"Don't worry, it's quite watertight, though that's not often a problem we have to deal with here on Ossus. Rainfall is a rare event here."

Unsaid was whether that was some symbol of renewal, a symbol of hope springing eternal. Even now, they were both so reserved. So polite with their feelings. Careful.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"A tent?"

Again, she found herself unsurprised. That he had opted for such a dwelling rather than the more permanent structures was... well, it made sense in its' own way.

"I was told that other more permanent housing was available," said to fill what otherwise would've been silence.

He'd not pulled his hand away, and so the Lupine let him lead, feeling the warmth of his palm and unable to keep from saying so many silent blessings to the Bloodline that he had survived. Survived that terrible day.

Her thoughts returned to the here and now; to the blossoming presence of the Jedi and their new home.

"I've seen many of the progress reports. They make me hopeful... "

And at that, she couldn't help the instinctive tightening of her grip on his own hand.

"... and happy."

[Zem Vymes]

There were few gawkers on what passed as the settlements streets, as the rain was keeping most heads indoors. It felt strangely intimate to walk in relative privacy. How many walks like this had they taken before? More than a few, though those days involved looking over shoulders more often than not.

"Coming along quickly actually. There are dormitories, training centers, a medical facility. Hell, even a few restaurants and a cantina. Feels like a mining camp at times, but the rough and tumble is getting sanded down smooth."

Zem's robed shoulders shrugged.

"I like the tent. Figure at some point I'll have to give it up, but it feels like a place I can get away from it all, even if it's an illusion. Sometimes the illusion helps."

Getting away from it all. The Jedi Master thought better of glancing back to read her expression. Such a furtive motion was made conspicuous by a hood.

"We do fair to middling, I guess. Better than back then, you know. It's easier to teach things right, bring folks up the way they ought to be without the worry of where you'll run if you have to take to running."

Rounding a bend in the path, an opening between buildings revealed Zem's tent. It looked like something a commander in a military campaign might use. Certainly not the pack of hikers or weekenders. It's khaki contours spread over three sections, with enough foot space to nearly approximate a small apartment. A small motion of a hand and the heavy tent flaps parted with the aid of the force, opening the illuminated and dry interior for the two rain-soaked Jedi.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

While the rain had been a welcome thing, reminded her of life that was not confined to the climate controlled interior of a starship, she was never-the-less grateful for the inviting warmth that radiated from her old friend's temporary home. It was undoubtedly his aesthetic, and one that brought back old memories. She could've almost sworn that they'd been transported back in time, back to the world that they had spent a year living on, with nothing but each other. Their small hut, the daily lessons in Soresu and any other accidental tidbit that presented itself. And as she stepped inside, s'Il released his hand, lifting her arms up to run her fingers through rain soaked blonde locks, brushing each strand back and out of her face. She had a change of clothes aboard her shuttle, but for now she would do without.

"Alliance command is sending me out to the Imperial border," her eyes wandered only briefly before returning to him. "... it will only be for a month at most."

A smile.

"They have allowed me three days leave, though."

It did not need to be said, how she planned to spend those three days.

[Zem Vymes]

He'd known, hadn't he? She'd held back in reserve, but the reasons for that could be many. Still, hearing the bittersweet note of the homecoming took a bit of the wind from his sails. You don't have to go back, you know was what he wanted to say, but it was easy for him to say it. The world here looked very different from Lok s'Ilancy's point of view, no doubt.

Still, he did right by her with the time he had, taking her soaked outer coat and hanging it on a coat rack at the far edge of the common area. His robe soon joined it alongside as he removed the rain-sopped brown garment. A ritualistic stop at the nearby table to prime the kettle was next, and he gestured to a seat at the table.

"Sit."

Zem took the seat opposite, not quite ready to assail the gates of his longtime companion's reticence. She knew he'd try sooner or later anyway.

"Teagan and the boy will be glad to get those three days. I'll make sure you have whatever you need."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Thank you."

For a moment, she simply leaned back in her seat, hands palm down on the table between them. Her expression was a neutral one, yet at the same time it looked tired, hopeful, sorrowful, and excited. Such emotions jumbled together gave her features a strange appearance. This was the face that she had stared at in the mirror so many countless times since leaving Ossus. Since leaving her children. Since leaving Zem. And the look on his face only told her that he knew. Of course, he had always known, hadn't he?

Her eye went to the kettle. To the small flame below it, heating the water within.

The sight of such a simple thing triggered an almost immediate response in her, one that caused her shoulders to fall ever so slightly, and her posture to become less rigid. She pulled in a long breath, letting it back out slowly as her eyes closed and her head tilted back as if her body was shedding the hardships she'd endured over so many years. After a few minutes of quiet, the Lupine finally cracked her good eye, looked across the short distance to Zem even as her voice softly broke the silence.

"I came to see you as well, you know."

[Zem Vymes]

There wasn't any forgetting the turning of the tide, and everything that transpired in those terrible moments on Hoth. She'd stayed her hand. She'd come back.

It was why this was so damned frustrating. It was almost as if she didn't feel worthy of pushing the door open any wider.

"I'm grateful."

Careful words. Damned frustratingly careful. Zem's expression was nearly pained as he said them, then softened a bit.

"That's a piss poor understatement. You've got me at a loss for words and you always have. So what do I say now? Thank you? You deserve more than that. More than I've got to give, but also more than you're giving yourself."

The kettle began it's faint whistle, a needed interruption for Zem to regroup and figure out how to talk to the woman he needed most in his life, and the woman he wasn't really sure was coming or going. He stood, and tended to the tea. Tea, and not caf. Again her gravitational pull moved him from his orbit. He fussed with the alien beverage, daubing tea bags into cups of steaming water with a novice's expectation.

"So, three days then. Where do you want to begin?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Letting her gaze fall on a point against the far wall of the tent, s'Il blinked. While there was so much still left unsaid between them, her thoughts revolved around Teagan and Markos, being drawn back to the thought of both her children with ease born of heartache and longing.

"My children," she started, her eye moving to track along the wall to where Zem stood with their drinks, "how are they?"

While Markos was still so young, Teagan was not, and the elder Lupine often worried for her daughter.

[Zem Vymes]

"Markos is a little angel. Biggest problem with him is sorting out all the fuss over who gets to watch him for a spell. Takes a village and all that. Teagan is..."

Zem thought over the best way to lead into that one.

"Well, she's been a sport about it all. But this is about as much change as anyone could have heaped on 'em, much less a youngster. I admit, I don't have much frame of reference. The old order, let's just say they did things a little different. You came into the fold at about the age she did, didn't you? What was that like?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She thought on that, bringing one hand up to pinch at the side of her mouth.

"Younger, but only by a few years."

Tragic consequences had been the herald to her entry into the Order, and it was that memory which caused a grimace to cut across her features. It seemed her own child was to relive those very same sad circumstances. Was history truly so cruel?

A sigh, and the Lupine shifted her hand, sending it down the length of her face before settling once more on the table-top. She didn't have to look up to know his eyes were on her.

"It was... jarring."

An understatement, and she gave another frown.

"I did not have many friends."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem frowned at his work with the tea. Out of his element, he supposed it would have to do, and passed one cup to Lok's waiting hand as he took his own. He made the mistake of taking it as plain as his caf, sipped at it and made a grimace, but ultimately decided to soldier on with it rather than go looking for something to put in the steaming beverage to cut it's grassy bite.

"That part sounds familiar. Teagan gets along just fine with that Staedtler boy, but that's a whole other matter."

Again seated, Zem hunched over his tea, running a weathered finger along the cup's rim.

"I don't know. That girl's spent almost her entire life on the lam. From here to there and back again. There ain't been much in the way of friends in her life even when times were good. And on top of all these other changes, there's those small things like learning to be a Jedi and you being half a galaxy away."

Sitting up a bit, Zem looked her in the eye.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The muscles of her jaw clenched at that, and the Lupine found herself unable to meet his gaze. Instead, she looked down at the contents of her cup, bringing it closer.

The look on her face did not so much darken as it did fall into a necessary look of concern. Concern at a situation which she herself found unavoidable. Perhaps it was simply perspective? There was still so much that she herself could never forget, and in turn never forgive herself for.

"When she was born, she never knew her father because I thought it best; because I wanted to protect her from a monster... "

She took a sip, letting the liquid move over her tongue before swallowing. Pursing her lips, she set the cup back down.

"Back then I thought that I knew who the monster was."

A frown as she closed her eyes, giving a slight shake of her head.

"At least now I know who it is. Visitation is more than I should be allowed, so do not think me ungrateful. But I am also painfully aware of what I once was."

s'Il leaned back then, lifting her eye up to the ceiling.

"I know that everyone here will never forget, and if they never forgive then I cannot blame them."

[Zem Vymes]

"To hell with them if they can't."

What did it matter? He'd heard all of the rationalization the first time she left, and hadn't warmed up any further to it.

"Look, I took it at face value that you needed some time away. Out on that ship of yours, patrolling battle lines of a war that's growing colder by the day. Fine. If it gets your mind right, fine."

Again Zem leaned in, pointing just over Lok's shoulder at the tent exit.

"But if the minds you're trying to get right are all out there, you think this hangdog soul searching's gonna do anything? You gotta figure out how to come in from the cold, Lok, and you gotta do it soon. For her. For me."

The hard edge to his expression softened into a more conciliatory look, and he reached across the table for her hand.

"There ain't a thing easy about finding your way back. Took me a long damn time to do it, and a lot of these folks haven't had to see just how hard that row is to hoe. But it can be done, because I did it and sure as hell every bit as stubborn as me. And showing folks that it ain't a burned bridge or a busted track, and that good people can find their way. They've got to see before they know how to forgive."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

There really was nothing that she could say in answer, and so she kept her eye skyward, processing his words and letting them sink in. Eyes finally closing, her head angled back down.

There was a strange irony to it all. Back in the day, he had been the one so eager to be a part of the Rebels. All those years ago, she had been against the notion. In a way their positions had reversed, and now she was the one that clung to the Rebellion - the Alliance. They were her lifeline; had given her a second chance that she wasn't so sure she deserved.

"I have my duties," it was a poor beginning, and s'Il snapped her mouth shut in the next instant, her brow furrowing in thought. His hand over hers was welcomed, and in return she brought her free hand from her cup, placing it over his as she too leaned forward.

A long inhalation of air, and an even longer exhale as she cleared her thoughts.

"I wish that it was so easy," she finally started again.

Now she did meet his eyes with her own broken gaze.

"Gods I wish it were so easy.

"For now all I can do is what I am told, and thank the Bloodline that I am able to see my own children still, rather than the inside walls of a detention cell. Demotion and a leash is so much more than what I deserved; we both know that."

[Zem Vymes]

"Everyone deserves a second chance."

It was all he had left to say. She'd already made up her mind. He wasn't going to convince her to forgive herself. Not yet. Whatever needed to happen first, it was up to the will of the force to sort it out. Zem squeezed her hand, looking for some way to salvage the moment.

"The tea alright?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

As if his words had brought her out of some imagined reality, s'Il blinked, then let her features fall into a smile as she pulled one hand away to rest around her cup.

"It is."

He was kind enough to pursue no farther, and the Lupine returned the squeeze with one of her own as she leaned back once more, their hands slowly sliding apart. A glance to the side, and s'Il found her eye irresistibly drawn to the tent's doorway flap.

"When can I see them?"

[Zem Vymes]

"I don't know how you can drink this stuff. It tastes like chewed up grass."

Zem made a face as he held up his cup. At the mention of the children, he smiled and set his own aside.

"Teagan's lodged in the padawan dormitory. Room twelve. Markos is in the infirmary building."

He waved a hand before Lok could think anything of that revelation.

"We set aside a section as a makeshift nursery. One of the Gossam matrons, uh Hanba, she tends to the daily care, although honestly there's probably a dozen or so people that help in some way. It's difficult to not smother him in attention. Not a lot of infants in camp, and plenty of well-wishers."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

His explanation soothed any initial fears, and s'Il gave an understanding nod. It was the mention of the padawan dormitories that gave her pause however, and she bit her lip in thought.

"I think it best that for now, I stay away from the dormitories."

Word had trickled out - as it invariably does - of the name that so many of the young ones had given to her; given to Darth Acera. It was not a name that she was proud of, and the very thought of it made her almost relive the terrible murders that she had committed.

The Padawan Eater.

Such a terrible and horrid name. It brought with it so much shame.

"Perhaps you can call her here? And the nursemaid, have her bring Markos?"

[Zem Vymes]

"In this? It's bucketing."

The pattering on the canvas overhead was background noise, but persistent. Zem knew well enough that waking sleeping babes was playing with fire, and toting them in the elements probably would buy them no favors.

"Why don't you finish that hot pond water and we'll go see him instead?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She thought on this for a few moments, gave another sip of the tea, then finally nodded at his words. Had she been away for so long that such things became foreign to her? Things that mothers should know? Things that mothers should always know? A frown, as she inwardly chastised herself. He was correct, and she should've known better.

"You are right."

Another sip.

"I have thought on it, you know... " she knew well enough what occupied his thoughts.

"I would be lying if I said that I had not."

The small cup was set down, and pushed away towards the center of the table as she lifted her gaze up to lock with his.

"But it is not so easy to do as it is to say."

The Lupine gave a knowing grimace then.

"All those years ago, you held fast to the Rebels because they were stability in times when there was none for us. And now? Now I cling to them because I am afraid of the alternative."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem nodded in full understanding.

"It's still touch and go, I know. Waiting to see if this new Alliance puts down roots and holds fast. When the Republic became the Empire, they swept away so much history that we took for granted. It feels like building up from nothing again, and to make matters worse, they're still out there and there's no end in sight."

He sighed, rising from his seat.

"It's a long way to go, and I understand you wanting to keep watching the ramparts. All I'm saying is that you need to look carefully on the best way to do that. The Alliance might need you, Lok, but we need you just as much, if not more."

Zem held his hand out to his friend.

"Come on, let's take a walk."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

With little else to beckon her, s'Il reached out to take his hand, allowing him to half-pull her up to her feet. A walk was usually a good idea, but she never-the-less couldn't help the sideways look given first to the tent's doorway, and then back to him.

"It is still raining, you know."

Spoken with a hinted smile, the Lupine gave his hand a squeeze.

"Though, it is not snow, so I suppose that it is an improvement I will take."

[Zem Vymes]

"You're made of tough stuff. I doubt you'll melt."

Zem retrieved his still rain-sodden cloak, placing the protective garment over the Lupine as he cocked a half grin.

"But just in case."

He winked, and drew the hood over her head.

"Let's not say chivalry's dead."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

It was something that she hadn't expected, and the look in her eye was testament enough of that. She felt the familiar rough-spun cloth on her skin. It brought so many memories with it, and catching some of the wide sleeve between thumb and forefinger, the Lupine couldn't help but let the old remembrances flood back.

In spite of it all, she could not help the wry grin that tugged her lips back, both eyebrows raised.

The cloak was already rather large on him; draped over her own frame, s'Il was practically swimming in the garment. It took a moment longer than normal for her shake the wide sleeves back so that one hand could reach up, a palm placed gently on his chest as she stood on her toes, neck craning so that her lips delivered a light kiss to his cheek.

"Where would I be without my knight in shining armor?"

[Zem Vymes]

Zem's grin broadened.

"I think you must have me confused for some other guy who wears armor here. Well, armor and a giant beard. Long story."

Something caught his eye, and Zem paused, carefully drawing her hood back to bring her face again into view.

"Seeing you like this. Makes me feel younger."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"If only we were."

Her grin transformed into a gentle smile. The sound of the raindrops hitting the thick canvas of the tent was like white noise; soothing and steady.

A deep breath then, and s'Il gave his chest a final pat before moving her hand up to trace a finger along his jawline.

"At the very least, you have thankfully shaved."

[Zem Vymes]

He ran a hand along his jawline, giving a shrug.

"I dunno. They say a good set of whiskers is the sign of a sagely countenance. Maybe that makes me younger than I actually am."

Still that look. That familiar feeling. He'd remembered what he'd said to her on Hoth. How could he forget how he'd felt for years? Closing the distance again, he fully removed the hood and kissed lips that he'd always known were right for him.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

There was a brief moment when she felt transported back in time. Back to those old days when it was the two of them. Powerful memories made her react almost instantly, and the Lupine instinctively lifted her arms up, wrapping them around his neck. She held him tightly, as if unwilling to let go for anything short of death. A small part of her even worried that if she did let go, he would vanish into thin air, and she would wake up in her bunk aboard her ship. She had been the victim of a cruel subconscious many times before, and hoped that now was not one of those disappointing times.

It wasn't.

[Jamis Kerr]

Was it fair that his chores still had to be done in the pouring rain? In his mind it certainly wasn't, but it seemed his lot in life was to be made to suffer, and Jamis settled for simply grimacing as he shouldered his burden. It wasn't his fault that younglings startled easily. It had only been a harmless prank after all - dressing up like an Ysanna and scaring a group of little ones as they were out gathering leaves and berries for some science project. How was he supposed to know that Kessie would fall down and twist her ankle in the ensuing panic? It wasn't his fault that she had tripped! Well, not entirely, anyway.

It still didn't stop the punishments that followed. After all, it was boring having to spend time in the medical tent and help Master Laran. At least the break in medicinal monotony was given in the form of bringing Master Vymes whatever small supplies were brought in by the Alliance that he'd requested.

Which was what brought him to the here and now... lugging a pack full of caf beans and other sundries through the rain towards the older Jedi's tent.

Why did he still stay in a tent anyway? There were plenty of buildings set up, and more being built as the days passed. It was just strange. Course, lots of things about the knights and masters was strange. From how they sometimes talked to how they dealt with problems and other situations that cropped up. He could still vividly remember Draiya getting in a fair amount of trouble for her antics in the mess hall - all she'd done was try to help another padawan with his awareness! It wasn't her fault that her punch hadn't been blocked.

Jamis made a face, sighed, and paused only slightly at the closed 'door' of Master Vymes' tent. He'd have to think fast on how to draw out his delivery, since it meant that much less time spent in the infirmary. Maybe he'd feign interest in meditation? It was a longshot, but maybe it would work.

Unannounced, the boy pushed his way inside. He shook raindrops from long bangs and gave a quick stamp of his feet.

"I got your stuff Master Vy-"

It was when he looked up that his voice died, mouth still open at the unexpected sight before him.

[Zem Vymes]

If his thoughts were clear, he would have certainly noticed Jamis' approach. He would have certainly been ready. As it were, his thoughts were anything but clear. He was caught up in the moment. Caught up with her. Both here and far away at once, feeling things he guarded under his heart's lock and key.

The moment the boy's voice rang out, his lips parted and he turned to face the padawan. Jamis looked like he'd just seen a star destroyer fall out of the sky. Dammit boy, why don't you just knock came the thought, an absurd one considering there wasn't so much as a hint of anything to knock on. Besides, since when did folks need to knock?

So they stood as awkward as could be for a moment, the only sound coming from the tap-tap-tap of water dripping off the boy to the tarp below.

"Thank you kindly, Jamis."

Cool as a glass of water, Zem relieved the boy of his pack, carrying the contents to a nearby cabinet to stow up. Once done, he returned to where he had been, only to find Jamis still standing there.

"Well?"

[Jamis Kerr]

He was vaguely aware of being relieved of the pack, as his mind tried desperately to parse what he'd walked in on. At least he had the presence of mind to close his mouth as he stared up into the face of Captain s'Ilancy. Blinking, Jamis jerked his head to look at Master Vymes, whose single-word question finally stirred the boy.

"I... I um... "

They'd been kissing, that much he could figure out well enough, but the why of it eluded him. Rumors were always circulating through the padawans like an underlying brushfire, and the rumors about the Captain were very solidly backed up with facts. Oh, the elders could change the subject well enough when asked, but everyone knew the truth. He stood rooted, looking from the Jedi Master to the Captain.

"... were you guys... "

He couldn't even bring himself to say the word.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem's face was stony, an unsaid testament to parables of curiosity and what it did to cats. With a gesture, the tent flaps parted again behind the padawan.

[Jamis Kerr]

It was an unspoken order. Jamis was well aware of such looks and actions; it'd happened enough to him during his time here that he'd become well-versed in the 'language'. But still, the shock of what he'd seen was not easily overcome, and he took a single step back. It was a half-hearted attempt at obedience. If it'd been anyone in his own age group, the boy would've happily begun the time-honored ritual of teasing, and even now he had to catch himself from blurting out that yes, he knew what had been going on. It was the fact that it was Master Vymes and Captain s'Ilancy that stayed his tongue. After all, she did used to be a Sith, and he'd heard other elders speak of those who'd fallen and who never came back.

As it was, Jamis settled for simply making a puzzled face, turning only briefly to look at the open tent flap.

"I was just... you know... "

Defiant to the last, he backed up further until he stood just outside, his mind falling back on his original plan to stall his return to the infirmary.

"... gonna ask about, um, meditation... ?"

[Zem Vymes]

Zem didn't lose any gravel in his expression, and his eyes didn't dare divert to Lok.

"Some other time, son."

Another gesture, and the tent flaps drew shut again.

[Jamis Kerr]

With the door to the tent closed, Jamis stood for only a few moments before scrunching his face up in thought. Suddenly being out in the rain wasn't the biggest thing on his mind, and with a quick motion he turned on his heel, starting off at a jog.

He moved past the infirmary. He was supposed to return there, but by the Force this news was more important! Instead, the boy made for the dormitories.

He had to tell Akasha!

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She had watched in silence, recognizing the boy from the Wheel. It was apparent that he'd recognized her as well, but there was nothing to be done about that.

When the tent's flaps closed them off once more, her body lost the tension that had instinctively built up, and her head bowed, eyes closing. A hand reached up to pinch at the bridge of her nose.

"I apologize," she started.

A deep breath, and she looked back up to him, offering a tentative smile. For a scant few moments before being interrupted, she had felt young again.

"About that walk... ?"

[Zem Vymes]

"Ain't nothing to apologize for. I'm not apologizing."

He reached a hand to her own, removing it from the bridge of her nose, and bringing it down between them where his fingers laced between her own.

"The offer's still good. Let's go get soaked."

A wink, and Zem exited the tent with his companion in tow, a brisk pace as they went down the muddy street to minimize their exposure to the deluge.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Pulled along behind him, the Lupine couldn't help the unbidden smile that sprang to her lips, and after only a moment she matched her pace to his.

They were young again, as if the countless years that had separated them hadn't happened. As if they had always been together. Even with the rain coming down, she could not help the sense of happiness that finally passed through her. She was here, her children were here, Zem was here...

As they continued on, s'Il gave his hand a squeeze; a silent and heartfelt thank you for all that he had done.

[Zem Vymes]

"Well, you've met one of many of our Padawans." Zem spoke with a slight chuckle.

"We've got a few dozen students. Some are picking up their studies with a lot of talent. Feels good to breathe a spark of life back into the Jedi. And at the same time, this place is fast putting down roots. Feels less like the days when we were running away. There's something real taking hold here, Lok. Something good."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

They ducked under an awning, taking a moment's rest before venturing out once more into the downpour.

"I am happy for you all," was all she could think of to say.

She looked out at the rain-soaked settlement; or at least, what she could see of it. She knew he was waiting for more, and she knew as well that he deserved more. He deserved so much more. Her children deserved so much more. Yet, what could she say, that hadn't already been said? She had her orders, and that was that. The Lupine looked forlornly at her surroundings, unsure of what words she could possibly say.

Finally, she let out a long sigh.

"It is wonderful to see."

[Zem Vymes]

Damn her stubbornness. Zem's smile was polite enough, but he didn't leave his frustration too far beneath the surface. What was it going to take to turn the tide?

"There's still plenty more to see."

Pushing on, he took her hand once more, braving the deluge to head to the infirmary. By the time they reached the awning, they were nearly at saturation point. Taking a moment to knock the water off their robes, the Jedi and the once-Jedi spent another moment together at the door.

"You ready?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

It hit her like a durracrete wall, the nervousness. The unsure feelings. Her son was inside, and for the first time in her life she was almost scared to enter. Perhaps it was that she felt unworthy? Perhaps she felt undeserving? s'Il couldn't pick out exactly what she felt, only that she felt it.

His words seemed to stir the pot even more, and she lifted her free hand to gently run along the doorframe, fingers sliding across to run along the door itself.

She could feel him in there, his small life force like a shining beacon to her senses, and it cause her to step back, bringing her arm away from the door to cover her chest as her eyes closed. Her other hand, still in Zem's grasp, pulled away and up to grip his shoulder.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

She had run away, leaving her children in the care of the Jedi, knowing that they'd be safest on Ossus. She had run away from the two that had depended upon her the most, that had needed her the most...

Her features screwed into a pained expression as she kept her eye on the door.

"I want to see them, but I'm so scared... "

[Zem Vymes]

Zem nodded at that. He knew that feeling. That unease in making taking the hard road back. The doubt. It could gnaw a hole in you. Change you. Though it frustrated him seeing her as she was, he was one of the few people here who understood.

"There's only one way to deal with fear. You might think you can step away, fall back, sidestep it. Every time you come back, it'll be there. That fear won't budge an inch unless you budge it. You hit it head on, Lok. You don't do that, and you'll keep running away, until you find that you can't run very far. Until you're in a prison."

The older Jedi removed her hand from his shoulder, and placed her hand over the door switch.

"You've got to figure that out on your own."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

It felt like an eternity that she stood there, her hand over the door switch where Zem had placed it. And yet, despite the feeling of eons passing, time felt as though it had slowed to a bare crawl. Her eyes opened, her gaze settling on her outstretched hand, the fingers only a movement away from depressing the button fully.

She knew that he was right. It was something that she herself had known as well, and despite the fear that she had felt since landing on Ossus, the Lupine knew that to turn and run would fully destroy the remains of a family that was still reeling from such betrayal and loss.

Pulling in a long breath, she let it out slowly.

And without a word she pressed the button, watching the door slide open.

[Zem Vymes]

The lights were dim inside the infirmary. In the main area, a few beds sat empty. Fortunately there was no need for them at present. With sparring between Padawans accelerating on a daily basis, that often wasn't the case. More than a few broken bones and concussions got treated here, even without the rest of the camp's general population. Master Laran was effectively in charge of the operation, but hardly on call. Fortunately she was able to get a full night's sleep for the vast majority of the time. The only occupants of the infirmary other than Markos were the medical droids. One, a Two-OneBee unit designed for more surgical care, stood rigid in the corner, powered off. The other, a nurse droid with a design more conducive to proper bedside manner, rolled in from the adjacent nursery room. It's porcelain-white face housed two blue eyes, and it clasped its hands in front of its chassis.

"Master Vymes." a soothing feminine voice greeted the familiar Jedi as the droid's head dipped deferentially according to it's protocol programming. "Markos is sleeping quite soundly."

The droid's visual receptors focused on s'Ilancy, and the nurse stood a bit more upright.

"A new visitor? I must insist on absolute silence in the nursery, lest you wake the baby."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

For the briefest of moments she looked at the dormant 2-1B and marveling at how even after all these years their appearance unnerved her. They just looked... wrong.

Of course, her attentions were immediately taken over by the other droid, and the soft voice that it spoke with. The sound of her son's name being spoken overrode any other understanding of what the droid had further spoken, and the Lupine moved forward, away from Zem to sidestep past the droid and stride swiftly into the nursery area. It was a modest area, and s'Il pulled in a deep breath as she approached the small crib that stood along the far wall. Markos' scent was strong, and as she slowed, her hands went out to rest upon the crib's side. Looking down at the boy as he slept, s'Il exhaled.

She was enraptured by the sight of her own child, staring down at him. His little chest moving with the rhythm of his breathing.

His hair had grown, a shock of blond that had gotten fuller. And despite the fact that he resembled his father heavily, the Lupine couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips.

She reached down then, one hand going to the side of his face, a thumb moving to wipe an errant wisp of hair from closed eyes.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem hung back next to the protocol droid, wordlessly making a gesture that it would be alright. This was Lok's scene. This was her moment. He wasn't going to be anything here other than background scenery. The droid craned its neck, trying to keep watch over the child even from the periphery.

"She's his mother." Zem whispered.

The droid's demeanor seemed to change. "Oh, well why didn't you tell me."

Rolling a distance back again towards the door, it clasped its hands together.

"If you should need me, I will be in the other room."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She'd been out rummaging, exploring areas of the camp that were usually off-limits. Technically she was supposed to be studying for some sort of history lesson, since the rain had put a stop to most of the outdoor activities. She was supposed to be in her room with datapads turned on and a stylus furiously scribbling notes. But no. That stuff was in no way interesting right now. Her time with the Cizerack woman was still fresh, and Teagan was determined to stay out despite the weather.

She'd been poking through the settlement's outskirts when the shuttle had come down, but figuring it for another supply run, the Lupine had turned away with little interest. She had missed the emergence of her mother, and of Zem going forward to greet her. Instead, she'd trotted off to inspect other rain-soaked interests.

Her explorations had taken her in a sweeping pattern, and as time went on, she'd found herself once more close to the dormitories. Ugh. The vornskr gave a dissatisfied sniff, turning to head away once more, when the sight of Jamis made her pause. He was running. Well, it made sense being that the rain was still coming down, but the way he was running...

It was as if he had some sort of important thing to tell someone about. Her head cocked to the side, then swiveled to look in the direction that the boy had come from. There was no way to pinpoint exactly where he had started, but general areas were better than no areas, and taking this new mystery as a chance to delay her studies further, Teagan moved away from the dormitories once more. She trotted along, keeping to the sides of each building and avoiding the more open areas of the camp. Slowly she made her way to the general vicinity that she'd seen Jamis coming from, and it wasn't long before Zem's tent came into view.

Movement caught her eye, a distance away. Two figures moving away, their strides quick as they hurried to avoid being too entirely soaked. They paused for a moment under an awning, spoke for a short moment, then continued on, making their way towards the infirmary. Again they paused at the door, and the young Lupine stirred from her haunches, rising to stand suddenly as she watched the two step inside.

All efforts at hiding her movements were thrown to the winds, and Teagan loped after the pair.

Skidding to a halt at the door, the gangly vornskr reared up to scrabble a paw at the entry button. The door whisked upwards, and the Lupine darted inside.

She saw Zem first, but not the other one. He was standing next to the nursery droid. The other, the one he'd come inside with...

She let out a huffed breath then, and not even bothering to shake the rainwater from her pelt, Teagan slowly padded forward towards the older Jedi.

[Zem Vymes]

"Oh go away, go away. Shoo, shoo."

The infirmary droid accosted the dripping wet dog with disdain, but in an artificially hushed tone as it had to keep the noise to a minimum. Zem placed a hand on it's shoulder, and looked to Teagan with a raised brow.

"Young lady, you're not coming in here looking like that."

He wasn't talking about the change. He was talking to the dripping mess she was carrying in with her.

"Go dry under the awning, and come right back."

He wasn't about to ask why she was skulking about on a night she ought to be studying. That could come later.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Stopping in her tracks, Teagan looked from the droid to Zem, then to the doorway. She wanted so desperately to know who was in there, and if her suspicion was correct...

Tawny eyes remained turned upward at the older man, and presently the vornskr backed away. She didn't want to leave the infirmary, and as the first scents of a familiar person reached her nose, that feeling was only further affirmed. It also made her heart skip a beat. All thoughts of going back outside under the awning to dry were thrown aside, as her body took over. Her entire frame shook, shaking out raindrops as she shook herself as dry as possible. From her nose to the tip of her tail she shook herself out, throwing droplets of water all throughout the infirmary in a small shower. She stood still then, trying to decide if her effort was satisfactory enough, and as another few moments passed, her body shook once more to rid itself of any other bits of water. She was still damp, that was inescapable; but she was no longer a dripping mass of fur.

Hopefully her effort was good enough. It had to be. She knew the scent that now filled her nostrils, and she wouldn't be told 'no' anymore.

The Lupine gave a sneeze, then barreled ahead, past Zem and into the nursery.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She'd heard Zem's words, then the sneeze, and then the soft padding of paws as they came into the nursery. Pulling her hand away from Markos, s'Il turned to look at the young Lupine who had darted into the room. She smiled at the sight, kneeling down while in the same motion letting the robe fall from her shoulders. Arms went out to take the pup into a hug. One hand still held the robe however, and in a sweeping motion she brought it around the young Lupine.

s'Il burried her face into the damp neckfur, whispering gentle words into the girl's ears.

"Change back, Sweetheart."

And under the protective cover of the robe, s'Il felt her daughter's body shift. It was only a moment later that she felt arms go around her neck, holding her tight. For her part, s'Il brought her daughter up into a strong embrace of her own.

[Zem Vymes]

"Oh my, what a mess. Master Vymes, I must insist that the policy on no pets in the infirmary be enforced."

Zem walked away from the droid, giving it a little wave of his hand as if to defer any conversation it wanted to have for later. He returned to the room in time to see Teagan swaddled in a robe much too big for her, and with Lok swamping her in a bear hug. The Jedi Master didn't say a thing, just leaned against the door frame and smiled. As much as they'd been through, they deserved this moment.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

With a last squeeze, she finally released the girl, holding her back at arm's length for inspection. She appeared healthy - if not a bit wet. In turn, s'Il felt hands going to her face, slender fingers passing over her features.

"I missed you...["

"I missed you too," came the unbidden response. It made her smile, and giving her daughter another quick hug, the elder Lupine pulled back once more. She rocked a little bit on her heels, but remained solidly balanced.

Her eye shifted up to Zem.

"I hope you've been well... ?"

Which was a veiled attempt to divine whether or not her daughter had been behaving.

[Zem Vymes]

"More or less."

Zem grumbled a bit, with a half smile betraying his demeanor as he leaned on the door frame.

"Could use a bit more studying and a bit less playing hooky to go run around."

The youngster's indiscretions were pretty mild, all said. Kids would be kids. Still, playing the hard-ass occasionally helped them recognize where the line was drawn.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

For her part, the girl only sent a look over her shoulder and up at the Jedi Master, but it was a fleeting gaze as her eyes very quickly returned to her mother. One hand moved down to idly finger at the uniform sleeve of s'Il's tunic.

"I've been fine."

The elder Lupine smiled at that, understanding the underlying meaning in Zem's words, but she could not help the fact that for now, she was simply happy to have her children with her once more. The time for further review of her daughter's behavior could come later.

Lifting her own hands, s'Il bundled the robe a little bit more around the girl, her smile a gentle one as she reached across to brush away wet bangs from grey-blue eyes.

"I've no doubts that you have," she started.

"Are you eating enough?"

Teagan nodded while shifting her weight so that she leaned into the crook of an arm.

"Yeah. Food's ok."

Her smile deepened, and s'Il let out a slight chuckle.

"Well that's good to hear. And your studies... have you-"

"How long are you gonna stay for this time?"

It was a question that not only interrupted her, but it took her by surprise as well. s'Il blinked, suddenly wondering how best to answer. Her eyes closed, and she sighed, her head bowed.

She heard Teagan give a sniff as the girl pulled away.

"I thought so."

[Zem Vymes]

Still the onlooker, Zem said nothing to interrupt the two. Still, the saying of truth from the mouths of babes was pretty spot on, even if Teagan was fast approaching the point where she wouldn't be a child any more. She'd certainly had more than her fair share of growing up that she'd had to do. Zem hoped that her direct approach to Loklorien's reticence would be a catalyst to help snap the elder lupine out of whatever the hell this fearful prison she'd found herself mired in.

At last, Zem spoke up. Maybe not the best choice, but he wasn't above playing dirty.

"The fleet ain't exactly runnin off to fight a war any time soon, Lok. Might do us all some good if you stay a spell."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

For Teagan's sake, s'Il smiled once more, and giving her daughter a reassuring hand on her shoulder, the elder Lupine rose to stand.

"I'll stay for as long as I'm able."

Teagan's brow seemed to knit in thought, but it wasn't long before she finally nodded.

"Okay."

"Good," s'Il smiled. She gave Teagan's shoulder a squeeze. "Now how about you go back to your room and put on some clothes, yeah?"

The girl seemed to hesitate, looking up at her as if unsure.

"I'll be right here. Just come on back here, ok?"

Finally the girl nodded, and with a deep breath she moved away; past Zem and out into the main area of the infirmary. A pause, and she backtracked to stand next to the Jedi Master, eyes locking on her mother.

"You'll still be here?"

"I promise."

Another moment of thought, and the young Lupine finally nodded one last time before stepping back. It wasn't long before the sound of the main door opening could be heard, followed soon enough by it closing.

Only when it'd closed did s'Il let her shoulders fall. A hand lifted, thumb and forefinger pressing into the inside corners of her eyes as if to stem the flow of unwanted tears. It was such a habitual motion, as only one eye still had functioning tear ducts. Still though, it was habit.

" 'Stay a spell', he says."

[Zem Vymes]

"Too underhanded?"

Zem didn't feel particularly bad about the ploy. Not one bit. Still leaned against the door frame, he looked at the state of his companion.

"If you don't stay now, the next time she might not ask. That hurt dulls less and less the more times you feel it, until you don't. Do you really want to cross that line?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

He was right, and she knew it. Still though, s'Il moved once more to stand beside the crib, looking down at Markos who still slumbered. So oblivious to everything around him and embraced by the gentle arms of his own subconscious.

s'Il sent a sidelong glance to Zem, then.

"You're a devious, conniving wizard, you know that?"

A sigh as she lifted a hand, beckoning him to come into the nursery and stand beside her.

"But you are also correct."

[Zem Vymes]

A grin cracked his weathered face.

"I've been called a lot worse than that. I won't lose sleep over it."

Zem stood at Lok's side as they both watched Markos sleep. He looked peaceful, oblivious to his mother's conflicted heart.

"You know," The Jedi Master placed a hand on the crib. "if he's gonna turn out half as good as Teagan did, you've got your work cut out for you."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Of that I have no doubt."

Something else gnawed at her, and with Teagan absent for the time being, it allowed her to voice her concern. She had known the best place for her children was with the Jedi, but it still didn't stop the worry that always silently gnawed at her insides. It was a concern that she felt to be substantial, and one that she knew had to be addressed.

"Dan... " perhaps she already knew the answer, but still; she had to hear it with her own ears.

"... do they suffer because he was their father?"

[Zem Vymes]

"You mean from the others here?"

Zem shook his head.

"No. What he did, the lies he told, they die with him."

Still, the question was more broad than that, and Zem sighed a bit.

"Of course, how do you tell a child that their father - everything good about him they remember - was just a lie."

At this, the Jedi Master looked a bit helpless.

"If you know, I'd like to hear it. I don't think that talk can come from me."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Well, at least her children weren't bearing the brunt of their father's transgressions. It was a comfort despite everything.

But, what Zem posed now was a subject far more difficult to think on.

"I don't think that it is one that must be addressed until they are older."

It wasn't an effort to stall the inevitable, but rather an admission that she knew the time would come; just that it would not come until much later.

She moved her hand so that it rested over his.

"I hope, that when that time comes, I'll not be alone."

At his look, the Lupine went on.

"Teagan grew up hearing so many stories about you; I told her almost everything. You're the closest thing to a father that she has now, whether she realizes it or not. And even if she doesn't see it now, I know that she regards you as someone closer than just a Master or a Teacher."

She looked down to Markos once more, and reaching down, s'Il swept a hand across his brow.

"At least Markos will never have known him."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem looked at her hand over his. It felt good to have that touch in his life once more. Still, something Lok said troubled him.

"I don't know how much longer you can put off that talk with Teagan. She's gonna need to hear it soon. She's not as young as you might want her to stay. And I can tell you, not knowing what happened, even if it postpones the pain, could do a heap of damage to her as she sorts out the world around her."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Why must you always speak such truth?"

It was spoken with a chuckled exasperation that was both serious and joking. It was a strange balance, and one that she was just now discovering. Though, in a way she realized that it was more of a rediscovery. So many years away from Zem-El Vymes had removed her from what had once been so familiar. And again she was reminded of words she'd spoken; that the both of them had been robbed of each other.

The sudden sensation of Markos' had grasping at her index finger caused her to look down. In his sleep, the boy had grabbed at her caressing hand, pulling it down to his chest in a surprisingly strong grip that held her suddenly rapt attention. It caused an elated smile to cross her features.

But, it did not completely distract her, and s'Il turned back to Zem, turning her eye up to meet his. Her free hand came up to the side of his face. He had been the one to initiate their kiss before, but now she truly answered him with action of her own.

"He took each of us from the other," she whispered.

What was unspoken was the family that had been stolen from the two of them; Teagan and Markos could have been Zem's. And perhaps that was the literalist of a Lupine's mind, but she would never be able to forget his words on Talay... of his thoughts to have children of his own.

She brushed her lips against his.

"... but now I have you again."

And giving herself to the wild abandon of their once-shared youth, the Lupine pressed her lips to his. For now they were undisturbed, and she intended for him to know and understand exactly how she felt.

[Zem Vymes]

As their lips met, Zem thought about Loklorien's words. He took each of us from the other. That was true. But what seemed so clear from observation was less linear in matters of the force. Would their destinies have intertwined in this way without the influence of Darth Decepis? It was a disturbing thought, but fate moved in ethereal ways. Without that conflict, would other conflicts have consumed them? There was no doubt that the Sith Lord's evil was reprehensible, but even evil acts shaped the galaxy in unforseen ways.

"No more talk of what might have been."

He whispered, holding her close and cheek to cheek.

"There is only what is. This is our world. Our moment. Our gift and responsibility. I'm grateful for it all."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

* * *

The trip from the infirmary to the dormitories was made quickly, and as her bare feet padded through the mud, Teagan bundles herself tighter in the oversized robe. She didn't bother stamping mud from her feet as she passed through the dormitory entrance, instead focusing only on reaching her small room as quickly as possible.Perhaps it was a stroke of luck brought on by the weather; perhaps it was simply the time of day. Whatever it was, the fact that she stepped into her room without running into any of the other padawans was a welcome happenstance. The less she had to explain her appearance the better.

The robe was thrown on her bed without thought, and moving to the small dresser, Teagan pulled out a change of clothes that were swiftly put on. She worked fast, and pulling on a pair of socks, the girl scrambled to slip her feet into her boots.

And out the door she went once more, hurrying down the corridor.

Rounding a bend in the hallway, the girl came face to face with probably the last person she wanted to see. Her features darkened, and the young Lupine sidestepped to move past her fellow padawan.

" 'Scuse me," were her mumbled words.

[Draiya Naaianeya]

"Yeah yeah."

Draiya gruffed as she passed, not making any real effort to clear a lane. She had other things on her mind. For one, the test Master Laran had in store for her in the morning, which she'd spent entirely too much time cramming for. A bit irritable and short of sleep, the Syragori Padawan paused in her tracks, looking back at the lupine.

"Hey."

Something Jamis had mentioned in passing suddenly clicked, and her expression immediately became impishly curious. Doubling back, she followed the other padawan.

"Hearrd yourr mom's back, huh?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She gave a look over her shoulder to Draiya.

"Yeah."

Anything beyond an affirmation was left unspoken as Teagan once more stepped outside. She pause for only a moment under the small awning before head out into the rain. She hoped that Draiya wouldn't follow, but somewhat doubted she'd be so lucky. As it was, her pace quickened to a jog.

[Draiya Naaianeya]

Oh she wasn't getting off that easily. Draiya followed, matching Tak's pace.

"That's it? Just yeah? You don't think that's weirrd?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

At that, the young Lupine made a face.

"Who cares? She's not your mom, so why does it matter?"

Wiping wet bangs from her face and behind her ear, Teagan went on.

"Go follow someone else around, Draiya."

[Draiya Naaianeya]

She wasn't getting brushed off a second time. Draiya clamped a hand on Tak's shoulder before she could put distance between them.

"I think it's Jedi business."

Facing the Lupine again, Draiya crossed her arms.

"I mean, we know what she used to be."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Stopped in her tracks, Teagan gave only a cold look to the other Padawan before shaking off the hand at her shoulder.

"That doesn't matter now."

Smalls hands balled into fists at her sides, then relaxed once more.

"She's not like that anymore."

[Draiya Naaianeya]

"Arre you surre?"

Draiya's face was an expression of anything-but-convinced.

"I'm not. I mean, it's like Masterr Yoda's wrritings. Once you starrt down the darrk path, it consumes you and dominates yourr destiny...forrever."

The Syragori's eyes widened a bit.

"And yourr dad too! I mean, wasn't he the..."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"Shut up!"

Without warning, she lashed out, giving the other girl a forceful shove.

"Just shut up!"

The last thing that she'd wanted to hear was mention of her dad, and Teagan quickly turned on her heel to start off once more for the infirmary.

"My dad's dead so it doesn't matter!"

[Draiya Naaianeya]

Teagan bolted, and this time Draiya didn't run after her. Instead, she leapt in the air, spinning a tight somersault as she landed in front of Teagan in a three point stance.

"You don't get it, do you? We almost died durring that attack. The whole Jedi Orrder. And yourr mom comes back and we prretend that's okay?"

Rising to her feet, Draiya shook her head.

"Don't you wonderr? What if it's anotherr trrick?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"It's not a trick."

It was all she could think of to say, and Teagan bit her lip, shaking her head.

She stood rooted, angry tears threatening to spill from her eyes as her voice dropped to a whisper.

"It's not a trick."

[Draiya Naaianeya]

"Both of yourr parrents werre Sith, Tak! What if you become one too?" Arren't you worrried about that? At all?!"

Teagan's emotions were raw and powerful, and Draiya didn't need to peer far to feel their effect. The padawan became concerned at the portent of her own line of questioning. Was the dark side nature or nurture? Or both? Either way, Teagan had a bad hand dealt to her.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

If she had anything else to say, it went unspoken as the door to the infirmary opened, and a familiar body moved to stand silhouetted in the doorway. Looking past Draiya, Teagan wiped a hand over her face, glad that the raindrops mingled with the few tears that had escaped. The Lupine inhaled a shaky breath as she let her eyes once more go to Draiya.

"If you're so concerned about it, why don't you just ask her."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Standing in the open doorway, s'Il stood with a single hand on the frame, looking out into the rain and the two girls who stood out in the elements. She could feel their emotions, see them even. It was concerning in its' own right, and with a frown, s'Il turned to look behind her at Zem.

[Zem Vymes]

The disappointment on Zem's face was plain as he caught the trailing edge of the shouted words between the two girls. Lok had asked how the others were treating all this. He hadn't sensed anything before. Could he be so blind? Or maybe it was just under the surface, barely unseen? Either way, it pained him to see Teagan's burden. The easy part was dispensing with the acute cause. His eyes met Draiya's own with a look that threw ice water on her tirade. Wordlessly, the Syragori padawan stepped away, eyeing the ground with a slight bow.

"Apologies, Masterr."

Zem's own face was stony as their eyes met again.

"We'll talk about this in the morning, Padawan. Back to your quarters with you."

Draiya didn't linger a heartbeat longer to get a taste of the trouble she was sure she'd be in, and beat it in a flurry of pumping boots.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Left to stand alone in the rain, Teagan wanted nothing more now than to simply run away. She wanted to escape this camp and all the Jedi here. She wanted to be alone. Except that her mother was here, now, for however long she was allowed to be. And so she stood, unmoving. She looked from Master Vymes to her mother, then to the rain-soaked ground. Her shoulders slumped.

And then she lifted her arms, burying her face in her hands as she cried.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She moved then, her body acting on instinct as she stepped out into the rain.

Arms went out, pulling her daughter to her in an effort to draw her back into the infirmary. It was not difficult to do, and as they moved inside, s'Il knelt down. Her hands slid back, then up to wipe away the girl's tears.

"It'll be alright."

Teagan looked at her with red-rimmed eyes, and the elder Lupine again pulled her into an embrace.

"I promise."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem followed Lok and Teagan back to the infirmary. They huddled in the room away from Markos to keep the baby undisturbed. Lok did the talking, consoling her daughter as best she could. The older Jedi simply placed both hands on each of Teagan's shoulders, keeping them there as he remained by her side. His eyes, however, remained on his partner.

This wasn't going to be easy. A Jedi was tasked to be many things. In Zem's experience, that which tasked the soul and the resolve most of all was to be a counselor. To be the bedrock others could rely upon for support in a storm. And they were surely in the midst of one here.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

There was a short silence as s'Il brushed the bangs out of Teagan's eyes, and the girl pulled in a long, deep breath in an effort to curb her previous sobs. It was partially successful, and she spoke in a hushed voice.

"Is it true, what she said?"

"About what?"

"About Sith... ?"

s'Il blinked slowly, making sure that she held her daughter's gaze in the quiet that followed her question. She used that small span of time to hold Teagan's hands in a reassuring grip before finally answering in a level tone.

"No, it's not true at all."

"... but, she said that Master Yoda wrote- "

"Anakin Skywalker turned away from the Dark Side because he loved his son, and because his son loved him." A smile. "The love I have for you and your brother saved me, and took me out of the Dark."

Teagan turned to look sideways up at Master Vymes, then turned her eyes back to s'Il.

"And him?"

There was no way around it, she supposed, and s'Il kept her gaze locked with her daughter's. She was old enough, and deserved honesty now more than ever. If they were to go forward down this healing road, the truth of everything had to be laid out before them all. The Lupine nodded.

"And him."

[Zem Vymes]

There were lessons you learned as a Jedi, and there were lessons you learned growing up. This was where the two met. Zem held fast to the distraught girl, occasionally giving a squeeze to her shoulders.

"Teagan, there's a lot of things I can tell you about being a Jedi. But right now the most important thing you need to know is the power of redemption. Folks sometimes stray from the good path, that's true. But I believe strongly that there's a good to be found in everyone. Might have to dig deeper in some folks, but it's there. It's not easy to do. It's a lot easier to write someone off when they go that way. But you gotta walk that line. Your mama came back for me, and I came back for her."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Teagan listened, her breathing returning to a slower pace as she thought about the words that Master Vymes spoke. They were comforting, but still. Something gnawed at her insides relentlessly. She looked down, eyes screwing shut as she took a final breath. A hand lifted to wipe any remaining tears from her cheeks. She sniffed.

"But... "

Could she even say it? She knew what some folks thought and believed. What they talked about. Draiya's words had been enough to confirm it, even though Teagan already knew. But, they hadn't been around him like she had. They hadn't been told bedtime stories by him, or been comforted or been kept safe by him. They just didn't know. But she knew. And so did Dama.

Still looking at the floor, her next words were barely heard.

"... what about Dad?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She'd known it was coming. She'd known that it was a question that would be asked. It didn't make the answer any easier, though, and s'Il blinked slowly.

"It is complicated," she stopped then, knowing that for now discussions of such complexities would best be served for later. For now though, the Lupine opted for the much more simple - yet still honest - response. She smiled, reaching out to place a finger beneath Teagan's chin and lift the girl's gaze back up so that their eyes met.

"Yes, I loved your Dad too."

[Serena Laran]

Serena wasn't normally far from the medical center, and this stormy day was no different. Draiya was supposed to meet her here for training during the dinner hour, their own meal would be sandwiches eaten in her office. She ducked into the covered entryway, shaking the rain from her cloak, and paused as the outer doors opened automatically. That presence...

Her heart thumped in her chest, adrenaline pouring into her system involuntarily. Serena took a deep breath and walked through the inner doors into the waiting area, checking in at the desk with the admittance droid before slipping into the patient areas. The nursery was near the back of the building on the first floor, but she avoided it and the presences she could sense there, going instead to her office and closing the door quietly. Alone, she sat down, her breathing measured and controlled, her endocrine system beginning to return to normal. How could she be here, without the Council knowing, or being alerted?

But of course, one Council member did know, didn't he. How could the Jedi survive as a group if the members just did whatever they felt like?

[Zem Vymes]

That was an inevitable question. A terrible one. Difficult in its complexity and toll. Zem sighed, resisting the urge to draw a finger to his aching temples. Teagan's face was expectant. She deserved an answer that was better than the one they could probably give.

"Your father lied to us all. It's not fair, least of all to you. I don't know if there's anything that can be said that'll take the sting out of that, young lady, and I'm so sorry."

The Jedi sighed, shaking his head.

"But I have a hard time believing that a lie that deep and complete can exist without some truth inside it somewhere. I know you loved your dad. So did your mama. If there's any good in this, it's in those moments you shared. Hang on to that and hold it tight. Don't let anyone take that away from you. You do that, and you keep alive maybe the only spark of good that he gave you."

Zem changed his stance slightly as he felt a slight flicker in the force. Serena had entered the infirmary. The feeling was faint, but he could feel her presence twined together with this moment, and had a feeling he'd need to address that matter sooner rather than later. Not everyone was as hopeful for this rendezvous as he was.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She had felt the slight tremor in the force as well; a feeling that was as familiar as it was now so distanced. It was an aura of soft lavenders that had seemed to settle throughout the entire infirmary.

A sigh, and s'Il finally rose to stand, mindful to keep hold of Teagan's hand. Turning a searching eye toward where she'd felt Serena's presence, the Lupine soon enough turned back to look down at her daughter, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

But, lifting her eye, the gaze that she shared with Zem was one that was far more worried than anything. Nothing so prominent upon her features, but it was there regardless, hiding in her eyes.

[Serena Laran]

Serena gathered herself, and exhaled, sitting back in her chair and selecting a datapad from her desk. She began going through recent patient files, the people by the nursery still on her mind.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem withdrew a step, placing a hand on Lok's shoulder.

"I'll be right back."

He gave a deferential nod, and his partner no-doubt knew where he was going, as it wasn't far. Withdrawing from the nursery, the old Jedi headed toward the office on the other side of the infirmary. Reaching the door, he gave the frame a few raps with a knuckle.

[Serena Laran]

"Enter," she called, knowing full well who stood on the other side of the door. Zem worked the door controls and it slid open, and then shut behind him. Serena looked up from her desk. "Good afternoon, Master Vymes."

[Zem Vymes]

A wildly optimistic assessment of the day, as afternoon was bleeding into evening and the rain had turned everything in Sanctuary One into something of a slog. Zem took the seat opposite his fellow councilor. They had a lot to discuss, he knew. Best to savor the social pleasantries.

"Master Laran."

He dipped his head in salutation, and waited for her to speak her mind.

[Serena Laran]

He sat, and she looked at him expectantly. When he said nothing, a slight crease of irritation appeared between her eyebrows. "Was there something I can do for you?"

[Zem Vymes]

"I hope so."

He'd hoped that she'd be earnest about her misgivings and discuss them without him having to draw the conversation out of her.

"Master s'Ilancy's presence here disturbs you."

Zem didn't wait for a confirmation of his observation.

"That needs addressing sooner rather than later."

[Serena Laran]

"Perhaps you should have addressed it before allowing Loklorien to set foot on Ossus." Serena looked at him evenly. "You do not speak for the entire camp, Zem-El. If you wished to spend time with her you could have done it anywhere."

[Zem Vymes]

"You found out about her arrival about half an hour after I did."

Vymes shifted in his seat, crossing right leg over left knee.

"But even if I did know about it before, we'd probably still be in this discussion I'd wager. Better to ask forgiveness than permission's no credo to live by, but I'd make an exception for Lok s'Ilancy."

[Serena Laran]

"Then that is where we differ," she said quietly. "We are responsible for the well being of the Jedi - the whole of the Jedi, Zem. We can, and should, forgive....in time, but forget?" Serena shook her head slowly. "To bring her here, among the padawans, is not a trust she has re-earned. Have her address the Council, the entire council, and let us decide what to do as a unit. An exiled individual should not just show up whenever she pleases."

She clasped her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. "If she wants to see her children another arrangement should have been made."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem nodded.

"I have no problem making that case to the council, if I must. She's done nothing less than save this Order at her lowest moment and in our greatest hour of need. We're not just deciding her fate, but our own integrity going forward."

[Serena Laran]

"An hour of need her actions instigated in the first place," she said. Serena rubbed her temple and glanced at the chrono on the wall. "I am busy, Zem. Take care of your visitor. I hope you are right."

[Zem Vymes]

He rose to his feet, knowing that until this matter was settled they both were standing across each other with a gulf between.

"I'll call the council to order tomorrow."

She'd implicitly deferred on the matter of Loklorien remaining at least for the night. For that at least, he was grateful. Whether she would get a second, that would depend on the case made on her behalf.

Zem nodded to his colleague, and left her office.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She'd remained towards the back, away from Master Laran's office in a show of good faith and the knowledge that privacy was necessary for the two Jedi and whatever it was that was being discussed.

In the meantime, s'Il had busied herself with Teagan, the two speaking quietly of this and that. The younger Lupine spoke of her classes, and of her time spent studying. It concerned her that her daughter was slow in making friends, but it was not something that was unexpected. For that, she blamed herself.

"There's not really much to show you, around here."

"That's ok," s'Il had moved to sit beside her daughter who was herself sitting on one of the far medical beds.

"I'm sure that we can find something to do."

"Could we do a run?"

"I don't see why not. Perhaps tomorrow morning," a smile was sent to Teagan, "... if you can wake up early enough."

"I can."

Another few moments passed in silence before the girl slowly leaned sideways to rest against her mother.

"What about lunch tomorrow?"

There was hesitation at that particular question, but it wasn't long before s'Il sadly shook her head.

"I wish that I could, but I have a meeting with Lieutenant Aevis tomorrow during the lunch hour."

"Oh."

s'Il wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders.

"Don't worry though, we'll have plenty of time to spend together; even if that means you come up to the Khera'va'ss'io for a bit."

Teagan seemed to brighten up at that, and gave a nod. She sighed then. "What about tonight? Do you have to go back up there tonight?"

"I do."

"But-"

"It's best for everyone if I do not stay on Ossus overnight." She gave Teagan a reassuring squeeze, turning to look at Zem as he emerged from Serena's office. Sending her eye back to her daughter, she gave the girl's forehead a light kiss.

"Trust me."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem's eyes met Lok's, a faint nod in understanding as he overheard her explain the delicate situation they were in. As difficult as the obstacles were to surmount, the most important thing here was to make sure that Teagan wasn't caught in the cross fire. She was a Jedi, but she also was a young girl who had a mother who did more for her than other mothers ever had. Maybe tearing families apart was the way the Order had gone about business in the old Republic days, but they'd been given a second lease on life, and it had to be for a reason.

"Why don't we all go up together?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Sliding from the bed to stand, s'Il turned to look down at Teagan, who also pushed herself forward to hop to her feet. The girl looked up to her mother with a hopeful gaze. s'Il met the look with an easy smile.

"That sounds like a good idea."

"For real?"

"For real."

Teagan paused a moment, biting her lip in thought as she looked toward the doorway that led into the small sideroom that had become Markos' nursery.

"What about Markos?"

The elder Lupine gave a shake of her head.

"I think it's best that we let Markos sleep."

Teagan considered this for a moment, then nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah."

"Go and change clothes," s'Il swept still damp bangs from her daughter face.

"We'll meet you at Zem's tent, ok?"

The girl was moving even before she'd finished speaking, and her pace quickened to a jog as she made her way to the Medical building front entrance. She stopped at the door, turning to look at her mother and Zem, ventured a fleeting smile, then ducked outside.

Left mostly alone once more, s'Il let out a long breath that she'd not quite realized she been holding in. She gave a sideways look to Zem, and started for the sideroom that held her slumbering youngest. She stepped through the threshold and strode to the side of the crib.

A final look down to the sleeping boy, and a last gentle brush of fingertips across his brow.

Gods willing she would see him tomorrow.

Moments later she emerged back out into the main room, her head held high.

"Shall we?"

[Zem Vymes]

He placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her pause before they debarked.

"I want you and her to let everything go tonight. Be in the moment. Whatever happens tomorrow, that'll come later. But you owe it to each other to be there for each other, unburdened. Even if it means saying nothing at all."

Zem smiled, trying to buoy her spirit and carry her burden for her. His hand slid from her shoulder, finding her hand.

"Come on. I've been wanting to see that ship of yours at any rate."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

There were words that sometimes did not need to be spoken; words that were understood between to individuals. They were words that carried so much more weight when they went unspoken. s'Il would not in any way try to convince herself that whatever way back to acceptance - even in some small form - would be an easy road to travel. It would be folly to think that. And so she only nodded, taking what he spoke of to heart, and knowing that this evening, spent with him and her daughter was to be treasured and cherished.

There was no need to say anything in agreement.

She did however smile at his last words, and as they stepped through the front doorway and out into darkness outside, she gave his hand a squeeze.

"You have been aboard him you know," she started as they left the medical building behind, "... though you did stay mostly in the infirmary during your stay."

Strong memories of that admittedly short time still haunted her, and despite the triumphs that had been achieved, there was still heartache and on some level despair.

Yet, they were still alive, and now made their way back to his tent, the rain having slowed to a light drizzle.

"He has asked of you, you know."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem gave her a strange look as they walked, rolling his shoulders uncertainly.

"Strange thing, that."

Sentient starships were still a thing he hadn't quite wrapped his head around, though the notion came more organically to the Lupine.

"Don't reckon I'm in the right plane of existence to become pen pals with a starship."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Oh, it's much like dealing with a droid," they were nearing his tent, and she let her pace slow ever so slightly.

"... a very old and very crotchety droid."

As the two once more passed through parted flaps and into the tent's interior, s'Il released his hand so that she could brush away small water droplets along her uniform sleeves. The top neckline clasp had been loosened, but now she reached up to clip it back together. Her long overcoat still hung on the coat-rack, but she made no move to retrieve it yet. They still had some time before Teagan would arrive.

The Lupine sent him a look then, her eyes suddenly conveying the hidden exhaustion that she had masked so thoroughly. Cutting a conflicting figure, with back straight and uniform, her broken gaze conveyed the inner truth, her hands fell to rest on the backrest of one of the wooden chairs. She blinked, finally breaking eye contact to look at the far wall.

[Zem Vymes]

"Sometimes,"

Zem broke the silence with a cracking voice. He paused, giving a brief cough.

"I wonder if we've done enough. Put in enough time. Enough sweat. Enough heartache. I wonder what it would be to just ride off into the sunset, and leave tomorrow's problems for someone younger."

You couldn't put in the mileage they'd given without having that thought. Zem just wondered how often it crossed Lok's mind.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

A corner of her lip ticked downward for only a moment.

"I tried that once," her voice was quiet.

"It did not end well for me."

She shook her head then, as if to clear away those old memories and the heartache that they brought with them.

"At the very least, I must stay the course."

She turned the chair so that she could lower her frame down to sit.

"I'm just tired, is all. After everything... " she leaned back looking up at him with a long exhaled breath.

"... I never stopped. I never had the time to stop. I never got the chance to rest, and I have certainly not even begun to heal."

A ghostly self-deprecating grimace followed a whispered henh as she looked down to her hands.

"Although, perhaps that is what this is; some awkward attempt of mine to begin the process."

[Zem Vymes]

He smiled knowingly. The moment of introspection had done it's work to make her take stock of where on the path she was.

"We've both tried in our way to find ourselves off that path, and each time we've come back. The more we give of ourselves, the more we receive. The burden might feel heavier some days, but without it on our shoulders, would we feel the same about ourselves?"

Zem leaned in, kissing her tenderly on the cheek.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her grimace shifted into a light smile at his show of gentleness, and s'Il closed her eyes.

"Sometimes those burdens seem as though they would drag me down," came the admission. Was she ashamed? Not necessarily but it was not an easy thing to say regardless.

The Lupine clasped her hands together, fingers interlacing.

When she next spoke, her voice held a halting cadence.

"When the council meets... and whatever they decide... I have-"

A sudden flourish of the tent flaps heralded the arrival of Teagan, interrupting whatever s'Il had intended to say. The girl waa slightly out of breath and had a small shoulder pack slung over her back.

"I'm ready!"

[Zem Vymes]

They shared a knowing look in silence. Understanding that great burden and what it meant to carry it together. But for now, there was nothing more to say. Zem squeezed her hand, and smiled as they turned at once to see Tak return.

"Well, that makes two of us, then."

She was beaming and happy. He hadn't seen her like that in a while. It made all the drama worth it.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il's features suddenly mirrored her daughter's. Gone was the tiredness in her eye, and as she rose to stand, the elder Lupine reached out to pull her overcoat from the rack that it hung upon. She shrugged it on with little ceremony, buttoning it up only halfway.

"Then I suppose we should be off, yes?"

Teagan smiled wide, and gleefully took her mother's offered hand.

"Is there anyone up there that I know?"

As they stepped outside, s'Il took a moment to think.

"Well, Possibly."

It wasn't a hurried pace, but it wasn't a slow one either that the three had taken on their way to the tarmac. Varin and the shuttle would still be waiting.

"Who?"

"Uncle Dage is up there, but I think that he's the only one you would know."

"Oh."

The closer to the tarmac they came, the easier it was to make out the lines of the shuttle in the dark. It was a sleek craft, matching the contours and style of the larger ship up in orbit. The boarding ramp was still lowered, but as she suspected, Varin had kept himself inside. Teagan bounced with each step, still holding her mother's hand tightly even as they started up the ramp. And as if on cue, Varin appeared. He looked down at his superior officer, the child who's hand she held, and the old Jedi as they moved up the length of the ramp.

"Captain?"

s'Il gave him a reassuring half-wave.

"Pre-flights, please. We're going back topside."

Shelving any further questioning, Varin only nodded and made for the cockpit.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem filed to the back of the craft, managing his crash webbing as he watched Tak take care of her own. They sat across from each other, both in a way old hands at space travel. He wanted to say he was glad to see her smile. He wanted to tell her he was right, and that Lok was back for good, and that she only had to wait and see. But anything said now was liable to break the spell. The best action was to say as little as possible. This wasn't his moment. This was theirs.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

As she situated herself, s'Il eased on her own crash-webbing, snapping shut the central locking mechanism with ease before reaching over to her side and making sure that Teagan had fastened her own. Satisfied, she shared yet another smile with the girl before straightening back up. She blinked, a small frown cutting her lips downward before one hand lifted at the edge of her overcoat, and the other darted inside to the inner pocket. Her fingers closed around the slim case held within, and she pulled it out as the rumble of the shuttle's engines grew.

Opening the lid, s'Il pulled a tiny square slip from inside. The case was closed once more, and she tucked it back away in her coat's inside pocket.

The tiny square was swiftly put in her mouth, beneath her tongue. It released a burst of minty flavor, but the more important thing - the doramine - began to disperse.

She caught a look from Zem, and gave a henh as the shuttle slowly lifted up from the landing tarmac.

"Some things stay the same."

[Zem Vymes]

A soft laugh as Zem reclined his head against the rest.

"I almost forgot about that. Still don't get how you never made your peace with space."

Piloting had come easy to Zem from a young age. He felt almost as at ease with a flight stick in his hands as he did with a lightsaber. There was something deeply soothing to the soul in plying the ether of space.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"I've made my peace with space," she grinned back while moving her now free arm over to take hold of Teagan's hand once more.

"Unfortunately my innards do not feel the same way."

The shuttle rose smoothly, her engines a dull thrum as they spooled up and propelled them all upward and into Ossus' atmosphere. Piercing into the low cloudcover, s'Il gestured to the window that Teagan sat beside. It afforded a dark view of nothing for the moment, but as the seconds ticked by, the clouds vanished in an instant to be replaced by a lovely view of the night sky, the thunderheads now receding as if they themselves were terra firma. And moments later the sky gave way to nothing as the shuttle left the final upper levels of the Ossus atmosphere. Stars glittered in space like diamonds affixed to a deep black curtain of velvet.

Teagan placed her free hand on the frame of the viewport, staring about.

"Where is it? I don't see it?"

A smile, and s'Il leaned over a bit, craning her neck so that she was afforded as good of a view as possible. A few moments of searching, and as the shuttle baked starboard, she brought a hand over to point.

"There."

Hanging in space like a great winged sentry, the Khera'va'ss'io was waiting. His lines rakish and sleek, the ship sat deceptively quiet. There were still blackened turbolaser scores that dotted portions of the matte green finish, but on the whole the ship had been decently repaired in the short time since the battle that'd seen them all rise above Weit-fallt.

[Zem Vymes]

It was his first real look at the ship from the outside, and Zem shifted his weight in his seat to get a better view. It had organic curves, a design that was equal parts artisanal and utilitarian. Turbolaser blast marks could scarcely diminish it's beauty. Like so many things in the Lupine way, it felt like gazing upon a fly frozen forever in amber. Pristine, and yet wholly from another age.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"It looks just like the ones in my book," Teagan whispered, her eyes glued to the waiting ship above, watching as it grew ever larger.

For her part, s'Il leaned back in her seat, eyes half-lidded as she let her gaze span the small distance between herself and Zem. His own eyes were cast out the viewport. She watched him unabashedly, seeing not the older man that age had made him, but the young man that he had been when they first met. It made her smile.

Varin banked the shuttle then, and the Khera swept out of sight.

No longer able to see the ship, Teagan returned to her previous position.

"How long can we stay?"

"Oh, I don't know -"

"I packed extra clothes."

Not the most subtle ways of insisting that an overnight stay be in the cards, s'Il only gave a nod.

"We'll see."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

At that, the girl sent her eyes to Zem in the hopes to gain an ally.

"It's ok, isn't it? I mean, my teachers would understand, wouldn't they?"

[Zem Vymes]

She was asking right at the upper bound of what he had to give, and Zem kept the uncertainty out of his expression as he considered it. He didn't have much to give them at this moment, but a little more time for them to be mother and daughter was, at the very least, something within his power. Zem nodded, a sparkle in his eye.

"I'll make sure they understand."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il sent a strange look to Zem before turning to look at Teagan who, as if today had suddenly been deemed Life Day, smiled wide back at her.

The elder Lupine let out a long breath.

"Well, seems that you've been given a stay of execution," she finally grinned.

"They'll understand."

s'Il only smiled in return, her arm going around her daughter's shoulders to hold her closer even as she sent a thankful glance across to Zem.

The shuttle banked again, and as the thrusters geared down, the feeling of the craft lifting itself up on its' z-axis was unmistakable. Entering the inner gravity well of the hangar was always a strange sensation - for her at least.

s'Il never let her smile waver though, and as Varin expertly set the shuttle down upon the landing deck with gentle ease, she let out a pent-up sigh while lifting one hand to undo her harness.

Teagan was quick to remove her own, and the pack that she'd held at her feet was quickly brought up to be slung over her shoulder. The girl was on her feet before either Zem or s'Il, and without waiting, she headed for the boarding ramp that was now slowly lowering once more.

[Q. Samus Dage]

Some things changed, but more often than not they stayed the same. He'd had his own command for a short time, but there was something to be said for staying with those you cared for. It was that 'something' that had given him pause in after the events so recently passed, and Samus Dage had had much reflecting to do. Was he sore? Of course. There was a lot to be ill over, but time waited for no one to work through their issues, and he was not about to be the one to make an ass of himself in trying to hold back the clock just so he could make full sense of things. No, understanding would come as it did.

But there was one place that he knew he wanted to be, and that was with friends.

He'd requested to stay. Stay with the two people left that he knew he could count on.

His wounds were still sore, but despite it all there was still the semblance of family that he clung to. They might not've been related by blood, but they sure as the nine hells of Corellia were bound together by years.

Watching as the shuttle set down, Khera'va'ss'io's first officer stood at the periphery, watching with expectant curiosity.

And when the boarding ramp lowered itself, he wasn't at all surprised at the person who came bounding down.

He smiled at Teagan as he strode forward to meet her, and was ready when her gangly form jumped up to throw her arms around his neck. She was his favorite niece, after all, and he gave her a fierce hug in return.

"Hey there T-Gal!"

[Zem Vymes]

Zem shared a glance at Lok as they returned to watch Tak bound into the arms of Dage. She was rejoining a big extended family in a way. Saying nothing, Zem hung about on the gangplank as he watched, a contented expression on his face.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Holding back as well, s'Il stood beside Zem as they both watched Teagan and Dage share a heartfelt reunion. It was a wonderful thing to watch, and the elder Lupine let out a long breath before sending a sideways glance to Zem.

Her voice was low and her words were warm.

"You might not think it now, but you're as much family to her as he is."

[Zem Vymes]

"I know."

He spoke low with a nod, glancing to her as he spoke.

"I've known for a long time now. I'm forever thankful to be a part of her life."

He watched her with Dage, the look of happiness plain on her face. She deserved to be happy, and while the galaxy often wasn't a fair place, injecting a small amount of justice into the way of things was a task he was only too happy to engage in.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her eye went back to Teagan and Dage, and while her smile remained, her arms went back, hands folding together behind her.

She watched as her daughter chattered away ceaselessly to the blonde Myomarian, and as both she and Zem started down the ramp once more, the two below looked back.

Teagan beamed wide, happy for at least the familiar face of Uncle Dage (and no doubt the possibility of a late night ice cream snack).

[Q. Samus Dage]

Dage disengaged himself somewhat from the girl, his back straightening as he watched s'Il and her other guest coming further down the boarding ramp. A split-second of thought, and he blinked in a sort of partial recognition.

He'd never met Zem-El Vymes, having joined up after the older man had gone off; but he'd certainly heard of him. Oh, not a lot, but enough.

A quick salute and nod to s'Il, and his eyes turned to the Jedi as his hand came out in an offered shake.

"Master Vymes," Dage gave a thin smile. "... Pleasure to finally meet you, Sir."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem met the man's offered hand in a firm embrace.

"Commander Dage."

Sizing the Alliance officer up, Zem finally parted from the handshake.

"The Captain doesn't stop talking up your record of service. I'm glad for all you do, son."

[Q. Samus Dage]

Dage half-stepped back to allow his captain and the Jedi a bit more room.

"Nothing good, I hope," he chuckled, making sure to keep a hold of Teagan's hand as she hadn't quite let go of his yet.

"And I really only do what is expected of me, with a little bit of this and that thrown in."

Still he smiled, but there was an underlying tone of business to his voice.

"Once a Rebel always a Rebel I s'ppose," he finished.

[Zem Vymes]

"Yes, well sometimes it takes more than most have to know when to rebel. When doing what's right goes contrary to the oaths we take."

Zem broke eye contact a moment, for a while seeming to be elsewhere.

"A lot of good people out there who couldn't make that choice. A lot of good people who nearly didn't."

[Q. Samus Dage]

He gave a nod, and side-stepped to allow the Captain and her guest to move away from the shuttle.

The deep introspection that the Jedi was angling toward was a little too heavy for him, not to mention there were still wounds that were tender. For now he put on a smile, winking at Teagan.

"You're gettin' a little deep for an old hand like me, Master Jedi."

He flashed a smile, hoping that the older man wouldn't take too much offense, then turned his attentions to Teagan.

"How about we go get some dessert," he winked while giving her hand a squeeze, "... then maybe some dinner if we feel like it, yeah?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"Yeah!"

She wasn't really super young anymore, but there were still things that Uncle Dage did that made her feel like she was home.

The girl gave a look to her mother and Master Vymes from over her shoulder, and smiled impishly before hitching her backpack up.

"We'll be back in a little bit."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Watching as the two struck off ahead, s'Il made at least a small effort of seeming displeased. Dage of course knew better; least where Teagan was concerned. The Myomarian knew when his superior was truthfully displeased, and now was not one of those times.

And so, she gave a sigh, her fingers laced together at the small of her back as she and Zem started forward to make their own way through the hangar bay.

"It takes a starship," she finally got out after a small silence.

[Zem Vymes]

He thought about that. After a few moments, Zem nodded.

"Seems like it always has."

From the days aboard Layla, to the times aboard Whaladon, then Dauntless and now the ship they currently stood in.

"Most folks have a fairly terrestrial point of reference for home. Not her. The sights change, the day to day may come hither and tither."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

As they left the hangar, s'Il exhaled a long breath as she thought on his words. Through corridors they walked, rounding corners and going deeper into the ship on a path that took them on a somewhat roundabout tour. It was nothing so formal, rather it allowed them to talk while moving ever onward. They passed crewmen occasionally, and each time the Lupine returned their salutes with a more casual, two-fingered touch to her own temple.

The pair continued on, deeper into the heart of her ship.

"Not always, but yes. Since we left Cather it has been as you say."

A sigh, and she went on.

"I doubt that I could give her somewhere to say was hers. I thought that I could, but I don't think it is a viable option for me to do any longer."

The Lupine frowned then, delivering yet another returned salute to a passing pilot.

"Before, when I spoke of the Council and what they decide-"

[KHER]

Captain.

The mobile mainframe unit that was KHER strode purposefully through the corridor on an intercept. Metal feet clanked upon smoother, composite deckplates as it walked toward Captain s'Ilancy and a man that was without doubt a Jedi. Unsurprising.

I was not aware that you intended to bring aboard others, it seemed more an accusation than an observation.

The construct stopped before the two, eye ports going first to the captain and then over to the Jedi. The facial features matched the profile of one Zem-El Vymes, and KHER stood rooted in front of them.

Vymes, Zem-El.

And as if it was an act of pulling subroutine packet cards out, the droid went on.

A pleasure to make your acquaintance.

[Zem Vymes]

Again cut short from their private musings, Zem's attention was diverted by the Lupine droid. He'd seen a similar automaton in the service of Admiral Tyree, although the difference between that model and the one presently before him were sizable. For one, from what Loklorien had said, the droid module here and the central computer of the ship were effectively one single networked entity. He gave Lok a strange look before turning back to the brusque droid.

"And do I call you Khera'va'ss'io?"

[KHER]

I am KHER.

For a moment the MMU unit stood looking down at the Jedi, as if sizing him up and determining whether or not it would be acceptable for the man to be aboard.

A tiny whirr of servos as the droid continued to stand, and then in a show of movement it stepped to the side. The appearance of the Jedi was startling enough, and KHER made his displeasure known to his captain.

I was not informed that you would be returning from the planet surface with others. This places a strain on my resources; all crew quarters are full.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il grimaced as she started forward once more. Her voice became stern, as if tsking a petulant old man.

"They are not, and you know that. Falsehoods do you no good, KHER. As it stands, I do not know the evening plans of Master Vymes."

A sideways look was sent to Zem, then back to the droid.

"If he wishes to stay aboard, we have room. If not, then we have a shuttle to take him back down to the planet."

[Zem Vymes]

KHER.

Zem nodded along at the correction. More the better. It served as a degree of separation, and worked for brevity. He wasn't sure he wanted to have a dialogue of any extended length with the ship he relied on for the very oxygen to carry on such a conversation.

Loklorien, for her part, didn't seem to be making many assumptions about his stay. That was probably for the best.

"I'm here at the Captain's pleasure."

Deciding to make his own case, Zem nodded to the automaton, then turned slightly to look at his companion.

"Though I shouldn't be too long. I have to prepare my case for the Council tomorrow, and you..."

should be spending some quality time with your daughter was unsaid.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Not exactly placed in a foul mood by her ship's belligerence, she wasn't entirely impressed either. Instead she simply sent a sharp look to the droid.

"If there is anything else that needs my attention?"

Yes. The child. She is too young to-

A snap of fingers sounded as s'Il halted abruptly, and she pointed a finger up to the construct.

"If you say anything else on this particular matter, I will have this-" the extended finger tapped against KHER's upper chest, "- dismantled. I brought you back into space, and I can have you buried planetside again."

For a moment the unit said nothing, silence descending between them.

Very well. I must update my orbital trajectories. The droid gave a final look to Zem, then turned on its' heel and marched down the corridor, away from the two.

Her brow furrowed, s'Il let out a long breath from between thin lips before blinking and returning her gaze to Zem.

"Before we are interrupted again," she started off once more, this time her stride purposeful as if she was on a mission, "I have something for you in my office."

The trip to her office was relatively short, and the pair were undisturbed for the most part. And as they stepped through the opened door and into a small, sparsely furnished room, s'Il shrugged her overcoat from her shoulders to drape it over the top of her desk. It was a plain affair, with a glossed ebony surface that was littered with datapads and hardcopies alike. Numerous notes, random bits of information jotted down, and other flotsam seemed to rule the day here.

Skirting the edge, the Lupine moved to sit, gesturing to the seats that were in front of her desk.

"Sit, please."

Without waiting to see if he did indeed sit, s'Il shifted her attentions to the slim, center drawer, opening it. She pulled out a relatively slim envelope and set it on top of a scattered few flimsiplasts.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem did as he was told, resting hands on his knees as he waited to see what all the ceremony was about.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"There is a possible eventuality that I have known about for a while now," her fingers moved to undo the thin metal tab holding the lid of the envelope closed, and she reached in to pull out a small packet of paper.

"... and I was advised to address this."

Looking at the top page, she blinked, then handed the few stapled pages across the desk to Zem.

"If the Council decides that my time among them is to be terminated, then so be it. I can understand and live with that. But my children will need a legal guardian."

[Zem Vymes]

"Now hold on one minute..."

Zem interrupted, almost bolting from the seat, but catching himself merely on the edge.

"Even if that happens, and it won't, that doesn't change a thing about the kids. They don't have the right to do that."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She blinked at him, quiet for a few moments before going on.

"What they wish I cannot go against, nor would I want to."

There was a slight glint of the beginnings of confusion in her eye.

"If I am permitted to walk upon Ossus in the future, then I will welcome that. But even then, I cannot offer to Teagan and Markos the stability that they would get on Ossus. And if I am sent to another posting altogether... "

[Zem Vymes]

Reigning it in a little, Zem edged back into his seat. He knew what she was about to ask.

"You know, before you ask me this, you ought to ask her."

It was dangerous to tempt Teagan's allegiances, to say nothing about Markos who wasn't even old enough to understand. But these were new days. The children of the Order were no longer cut clean from their families to live in monastic discipline. It wasn't so simple anymore.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

At that she was quiet, staring across the distance between them to meet his eyes. The muscles of her jaw clenched as she held their locked gaze. A deep breath, then a long exhalation before she finally set the papers she still held out down. Gently, and without a sound they came to rest on the cluttered desktop.

"Who else could it be," she started finally, her voice a hoarse sound as though the words scraped and scratched their way up to escape from between her lips.

[Zem Vymes]

"If it comes to that, Lok. If. You don't even have to ask. I'd watch them like they were my own."

Exasperated, Zem frankly was offended she even felt she had to ask.

"You're their mother. And while I can't be their father, I'd never turn from the chance to be everything I can for them both."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

As though a great weight had lifted from her shoulders, the Lupine leaned back in her seat while exhaling a long breath that she hadn't quite realized she'd been holding.

She stared at him, and her expression seemed to shift so quickly; from expectancy to worry, then to a strange elation that was overshadowed by relief. So many emotions played across her face, warring with each other. And at the height of it all she bowed her head, one hand coming up to press thumb and forefinger into tightly shut eyes, as if the act of applied pressure would hold any tears at bay. It didn't, and a single tear trickled down from her left eye.

A moment of silence passed, agonizing seconds of quiet that ticked away between them.

"I'm going to lose them, aren't I," came the final, tremulous whisper.

[Zem Vymes]

"If I thought that were possible, I'd retire my lightsaber for good."

He shook his head deliberately.

"The decision we make tomorrow is between the Order and you, Loklorien. And while I believe it's a battle for our souls, it's a battle with boundaries."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Still she found herself unable to look up.

"I did what I could; I provided what I could. I gave as much of a fighting chance as I was able without exposing myself."

Finally her hand fell away, but her gaze remained downcast.

"I will accept what is decided, but it does not make me any less afraid in the time leading up to that verdict."

Again she closed her eyes, and again her head angled down, her hand spread across her brow in an effort to hide the painful twist of her features. For the moment, the papers that she'd set in front of him were brushed to the side as the full weight of so much heartache was suddenly pressed upon her soul.

"I've done so much wrong."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem rose from his seat, not willing to abandon his best friend to despair. Reaching with both hands to each side of her head, he tilted her up so that his forehead rested against hers.

"Nobody is beyond forgiveness. No one. Every fiber of what I am, every oath I've taken, every sacrifice I've made is nothing if that's no longer true. Now you hear me, because you've taken every step on that narrow way. You can listen to what I'm saying, but I'm asking you to hear."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her eyes were shut tight, but her ears open as she felt his hands on either side of her face. She swallowed, quelling any other reply that she might've had as their foreheads touched. Her hands both came up then, to rest over his own, and she let a rattling breath shudder in and out.

"What must I do... ?"

Another tear fell.

"What must I say... ?"

[Zem Vymes]

Zem's eyes intently met hers.

"Just ask."

It was all she had to do. It was enough for him. And if the Council knew how to hear, it was enough for them as well.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

They were perched over the top of her desk, like two halves of one entity meeting halfway.

She caught his gaze, then closed her eyes.

Still his hands held her fast, and she was thankful for his hold. With her hands over his own, she welcomed the solid and unwavering grasp that kept her true.

Finally, her lips parted as three quiet words spilled forth. Three words that she had not uttered in so very long, and were nearly without sound as they were so silently mouthed.

"Forgive me... please... "

[Zem Vymes]

His hands drew from her face to fully embrace her, eyes drawn tight as he heard the words he needed so desperately for her to say.

"I already have."

Zem drew Lok close, a shelter from storms real and imagined, a bedrock and firmament no wave could diminish. Each had been weak when the other was strong. Each had been lifted up. This was the most basic, perfect good they aligned themselves to. No higher ambition. No greater calling.

"I already have."