Clone Wars: Worthless Consumer Models!

[0M-N0M]

Its photoreceptors powered on in the dimly-lit exhibition chamber, showing it a small cluster of CIS leadership. There were a female Neimoidian, a male Muun, and a male Sarkoan lurking behind a female Geonosian. Their names appeared superimposed on the HUD that told it pertinent details about its surroundings and mission. They were named, in order: Mault Sheiday, Tel'taak Muunro, Regiir N'roka, and Umaiga the Younger. Of the quartet, only the females had ranks or titles; Sheiday was Commander of the Fleet; Umaiga, Overseer of Experimental Droid 0-Model: Night Marauder 0 Unit. Or, in Geonosian abbreviation, 0M-N0M. Sheiday smirked as she mouthed the moniker to herself, the better to indulge her amusement as Umaiga prattled on about the droid's specifications.

"It is identical in look to our ordinary Commando units. The purpose for this is that it will sow discord, confusion, and fear into the Clone ranks, as they will not know if Commandos are ordinary or special, like this one is. It is of a grade beneath Super Battle Droids and Droidekas in terms of firepower, but it can wield many weapons with more finesse than either unit. It is more capable in melee combat, but not to such an extent as the MagnaGuard bodyguard droids. It has greater movement speed and agility than most models, and is capable of some independent thought, able to alter battle tactics to suit a mission gone awry."

The Geonosian's prideful clicking speech finally abated, and Sheiday spoke up. "But seriously, Umaiga, 0M-N0M? How can we expect it to intimidate our enemies? That's the noise mothers make when teaching their infants to chew solid food! It's laughable! It must be renamed!" Tel'taak and Regiir shook their heads and "hrrm"ed, but neither joined the argument.

"Naming it anything other than its alphanumeric designation is a waste of time. No one names common battle droids or MagnaGuards. It is not a sentient creature, and though it was produced in part to meet the demand for tougher droids that would ease pressure on the Confederacy's war coffers, it is, in the end, disposable. Simply call it Zero Em, if it is such a bother. That's all that's painted on its chestplate."

0M-N0M was fitted with a more flexible neck than most droids, a subtle design change from the ordinary droids that couldn't be noticed from great distances. It caught a glimpse of the white number and letter on its black and red chestplate before Umaiga snapped for its attention. 0M-N0M stepped down off its display pedestal and took the rifle offered it by its Overseer. "Now, to the purpose of your visit. Witness its capabilities against a contingent of our other droid models, from battle droid foot soldiers to Droidekas and Supers. No MagnaGuards are available for testing at this time. Please, move to the observation room. 0M-N0M, proceed into the Gallery."

The droid did as instructed, barely giving a second glance to the living beings climbing the stairs away to its right. It stepped into the Gallery, a large testing ground for droids, vehicles, and weapons, and the door slammed shut at its back, leaving it in the dark.

[0M-N0M]

Umaiga the Younger's voice shrilled through its verbobrain via a direct link to the observation room. "Begin!" 0M-N0M pressed the buttstock of its rifle to its shoulder and sprinted forward at its fullest running speed, diving and rolling as paired blasterbolts sizzled overhead. It came up in a crouch behind cover, an upturned cargo container. Though the Gallery was still dark, 0M-N0M had no trouble seeing. Its photoreceptors scanned through several viewing modes before it settled on using the opposing droids' heat signatures as its focus. In the dark, the torsos of the droids glowed orange with the heat from their power generators. The Night Marauder sighted along the rifle as a sentient would do and fired controlled pairs of bolts into the oncoming enemy droids. The battle droids and supers, lacking any real self-preservation programming, fell in waves before its sustained fire.

When no more glows could be seen, the lights abruptly came on overhead, and 0M-N0M rose to advance over the metal bodies of its fallen bretheren. It paused to take up a spare weapon from a fallen battle droid, magnetizing it to its back, and proceeded with caution as the Gallery narrowed into a corridor. It proceeded cautiously, weapon up at the ready, waddling along in a half-crouch that would present it as a smaller target. When confronted with corners, 0M-N0M strafed in a slow circle, the barrel of its weapon preceding it.

"Clones do that," said a voice in the droid's verbobrain. It was N'roka, and he sounded partly pleased and partly affronted. "Why is it using Clone tactics?" As 0M-N0M rounded another corner, a troop of battle droid came into its view. With several squeezes of the rifle's trigger, each of them dropped before they could so much as call out its presence.

"Because this tactic, which Clones call "pieing a corner", is actually useful," retorted Sheiday. "If it is to be used as a special forces commander, it can't afford to blindly charge in shooting like an ordinary droid."

"And who said it was to be used in this way?" asked N'roka with bitter indignance.

"I did," sniffed Sheiday contemptuously. "I'll be commanding it."

[0M-N0M]

The special forces droid advanced down the hall, utilizing upturned containers as cover and hiding behind recesses where possible. It had paused near the exit of the corridor, pinned down by suppressing fire from two supers. It crouched, ignoring the commentary from the observation box. It looked up over the wall of the corridor, which had no ceiling due to the Gallery's open, configurable nature to see the four as silhouettes in the window, protected by thick transparisteel. It raised the barrel of its gun, briefly contemplating breaking protocol and shooting at the observation room. That would cause the Supers to leave their protected position to physically subdue 0M-N0M, giving it the chance to shoot the pair, but would likely get it deactivated, too. It reached down to the body of a disabled super that it had shot earlier and pried the leg off, peeking to see the precise position of the two active enemies. A brief calculation and hard toss later, and the leg had sailed through the air to land heavily on the arm of the super droid on 0M-N0M's side of the hall, giving it enough time and space to pop out and shoot the other. With the advantage lost, 0M-N0M ran forward, using its on-board targeting to shoot from the hip and disable the last opponent, coming into the open Gallery once again.

Three Droidekas rolled up to meet it as it assessed the terrain. A half-gone tank laid on its side several meters away, providing the nearest cover. 0M-N0M sprinted for it, diving just in time to avoid having its right foot shot off. It looked around the corner to finish its assessment. On the other side of the corridor there was a massive cargo container. It actually had been nearer cover, but it wasn't as well armored as the ruined tank. Behind the Droidekas, too far away to be of use at the moment, was a fuel canister that was either damaged or spent. 0M-N0M could shoot it to see which it was, but decided to wait and see if any enemies would move closer to it. The three shielded enemies weren't, bearing down on its position with a slow, implacable pace. It moved around to check the tank's hatch, now at head-level with half its base sheared off. Inside it found the body of the pilot droid, and two thermal detonators that it had been carrying. 0M-N0M took them, magnetizing them to the band at its waist, then checked on the progress of the Droidekas. Rather than pitch the detonator as it had the disembodied leg, it smoothly rolled the round explosive across the floor. The Droidekas ignored it to their peril; a moment later the three were vaporized in a flash, their shields useless against anything that wasn't a dense packet of energy.

"We really must spend some extra time and money finding a way to make them able to look down," said Tel'taak dryly.

[0M-N0M]

Meanwhile, 0M-N0M had left cover and run to the damaged fuel canister. The canister was a red cylinder protected with a sturdy, rectangular durasteel frame. It grabbed one of the durasteel sections and carried it easily, holding it away and slightly back to keep the load from banging on its legs.

"Impressive strength," noted N'roka. Three more Droidekas and 2 Supers charged in from an opening in the wall to 0M-N0M's right. It hopped, a strange movement to see a droid perform, and in the air whirled to release the fuel tank. It landed atop one rolling Droideka and fell off to the side. A controlled trio of shots ignited the canister, removing the threat. "Most impressive," he added.

"You're making more, right?" Sheiday asked, her voice quivering with barely-restrained greed and wonder. "I would like an entire squad of them. They would be the envy of every army! We could crush the Republic!"

"No," said Umaiga curtly. "There are more tests to perform. Even this compares poorly to real combat in the field. We will deploy it to the Mid Rim, where it will lead ordinary commando droids and perform solo ops. If the results are favorable, and it survives half a standard year, then we will push to create more. We seek the balance between cost and effectiveness. Caution will lead us to the proper answer."

"It apparently cares naught for caution," retorted Tel'taak, pointing a slender finger at the Gallery. There, 0M-N0M had secured a twisted piece of the canister's durasteel frame that had been blown free of the housing when it went up. Later review of the footage would reveal that the droid had, in fact, caught it in air before the giant shrapnel had buried itself in its chestplate. Now, it bore down on its fresh opponents, which were nothing more than a large contingent of battle droids. "Just how well does it do in melee?" pondered the tall Muun. "Most of our droids are scarcely a match for Clones, let alone Jedi."

"Judge it for yourself," offered Umaiga, turning to watch the ensuing brawl.