Ah'm Ledo Guddam Prent, AMA

[Ledo G. Prent]

Ah sol'mly swear on Ye Mum's Cunt, t' be as troof-ful as Yodi-One-Ben-Obi, an' equally as el-oh-quent in me response.

Love,
Ledo G. Prent
(The Rancor of Malastare - Patent Pending)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Any idea how many kids you have?

[Ledo G. Prent]

Well, tha's wot we'd call a qual-e-fiable question, Ah s'pose. Isser a threata al-ee-mony 'angin' o'er me nest egg?

Iffin it ain't, den...Ah'm reas'nably guddam positive it's a guddam bumpa croppa sprogs. All as beau-tee-ful as der good'ol dad.

But if y'wan me t' pulla nummah outta me arse, Ah'ma say seventeen. Or wossit seventy? Dere's a seven innit, an dat es-tee-mate is fuckin' safe as 'ouses, mum.

[Mdharra Ceergorra]

How would jyou mossst prrreferr to djie, jyou fjilthjy spjineless pjirrrate couhoun?

Also, tell me about your mother.

[Emelie Shadowstar]

So...after helping save the galaxy from crazy dinosaurs... why go back to the pirating gig?

[Ledo G. Prent]

How would jyou mossst prrreferr to djie, jyou fjilthjy spjineless pjirrrate couhoun?

Also, tell me about your mother.

"Gerrae! Now tha's a sordid quess'in ain'tit Sheila? Ah figga'd Ah'm too pretty fer th' man wif th' reapa ta comma knockin', but s'pposin' 'e was, den Ah figga iffen it were on me terms t' d-termin' 'ow me clogs be popped, den Ah can finka no betta way den gettin' twatted on th' las bottle of Alderaanian whisky, an den as-fix-e-ate meseff wiffin th' pillowy embrace a' six swollen Askajian titties. Bag on 'er 'ead a-course, but tha's a gooda way as any, Ah figga."

"Now, as me mum's concerned, well, a real saint she was. An' Ah won't hear any cross words udderwise."

[Ledo G. Prent]

So...after helping save the galaxy from crazy dinosaurs... why go back to the pirating gig?

"Beliefin' it er no', Ah'd hadda go a' tellin' me life's es-ca-pades inna tell-awll. 'The Rancor of Malastare' asa workin' ti-tle. Jus' on accounta me no' eva readin' no book, dun mean Ah ain't gotta thinga two t' tell. Course, i's shite difficul' t' actually sit down an' write, an' when th' pubbies come an' frow me two paragrafs back in me face on accounta 'spellin' mistakes' den fuckoff wiffa lotta dis book-writin' drek. Tha's no way to make me cred!"