Jak's Application

[Jak]

Character Profile: Jak has long blonde hair that is kept untidy. He has a jagged scar across his right eye. Jak mostly wears outlander cloths. He never wears anything fancy. You can find Jak in bars. Jak also is a pretty good thief, he can pick pocket pretty well. He has a small cargo ship that is pretty good. Jak has one living relitive, thats his brother. Jak killed his father. His mother died after giving birth to his brother, Darth.

Character History: Jak was raised with his Father and mother. They lived on Tattoine. Jak's father sold the to the Hutt's. Jak killed him. When Jak and his pregnate mother finnaly were freed, she gave birth to Jak's brother. She died after giving birth. Jak raised Darth. He tried hard to get him to folllow in Jak's footsteps, but Darth wants to be a Jedi. Jak has since lived a life of petty crime. Jak in known in small villages, and bars.

Character Motivations: Wants to learn the dark side of the force. Also he wants to prove to his brother The Sith are they way.

Character Skills: Jak can pick pockets pretty good. He is a decient pilot.

Why should we accept you: Jak is willing to do anything to prove to his brother that the Dark side is the way.

Roleplaying example:http: //www.swforums.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=38261

Do you understand that your application can be rejected: Yes

Have you read the rules: yes

[Vega Van-Derveld]

No. Application needs some work.

Your character has far too many skills that he is a "master" at. Try and limit what your character is good at to one or two things - maybe he is a good pick pocket, and a competent pilot. One of the fundamental rules here is that you start from the bottom and work your way up, acquiring skills as you go. Also, it seems unlikely that Jak - without having had any training in the Force - would be able to kill a number of Jedi's and steal their lightsabers. You also need to work on your spelling.

[Zereth Lancer]

No.

My reason is the same as Vega's. You excell in too many things and being a mass Jedi slayer is just a little too much.

[Southstar]

No.

There is the matter of your character being way too powerful and then I have some gripes with the background. The Jedi killed my father thing has been done a million times plus one. Take your character back to the drawing board with our suggestions in mind and come back.

[Zereth Lancer]

Side Note: Jak has edited his application. I am still deciding to the new application but I thought I'd inform you guys that he has changed it.

[Southstar]

My Yes is pending. I see that you've got some good ideas going on but its kind of hard to read and fully comprehend them. Spell it out a little more and you've got my yes.