Shameless plagiarization - character input

[Gash]

Hi.

I feel like I need input right about now. I've been writing here for over a year and a half, and I'd like to hear how I'm doing, be that good or bad. So:

What do you like about my characters? What don't you like? Do you have any suggestions? Do you see any bad trends besides my occasional brushes with making my characters too powerful? Can you give me any advice at all?

...please? *sob*

:lol

Characters:

Je'gan Olra'en
Gash
Baracc Olra'en
Choir Aztaroth
Minion Alghieri

Most of those are supporting characters that I'm just beginning to breathe real life into, but anything you can offer would be much appreciated.

[Kyashi]

The only thing I really dislike about any of your characters is the whole Choir being French, or just speaking a little bit of french. I don't know why, but I just...don't...like...it. :|

I think your writing is really good. I like your posts as Je'gan in our thread in the rp forum, the first few in particular. :)

[Gash]

Thank you.

The French thing...all of my characters but Gash speak it; it's their native language. Choir's just less accustomed to Basic than the other ones. Just something I came up with because I needed a bit more practice at the time (I take French in school). I even did a couple of threads with Corias Bonaventure a while back, with all the dialogue in French.

[Kyashi]

I took it in school too *is Canadian and was FORCED to take it* :x

[Gash]

I'm Canadian, too, but it's optional in Alberta. Had to take another language for a special program.

[Kyashi]

Exciting. :) I'm in Ontario, but back to the original purpose of this thread...

You told me before that you wanted to do more character building with Je'gan. I think the first few posts that I mentioned proved you can do it just fine. I'd like to see more of Je'gans' 'emotional" side (I guess that's what you'd call it) -- less of Je'gan being the big bad Sith, and more of Je'gan the person. If that makes sense.

[Gash]

It definitely does; what he's trying to do just now (he's still muddled, like he was in the beginning of the thread) is save face in front of the other Sith. Southstar was his Master and Zereth was his Apprentice, y'see.

[Kyashi]

Well, we both agree that stereo-typical Sith are crap, so just keep up the good work :)

[Gash]

Will do.

Anyone else? LD, Gav, Jen, Rog, Shade?

[Nathanial K'cansce]

I wasn't in the list, but I'll give my .5 cents anyway :p

Haven't read much of Gash, nor of Je'gan here, but I can certainly say I respect your talent and writing ability from what I've seen over at RPG. You're definately a welcome addition to that board, and bring a sense of "newness" there. When I saw that you registered there, I was like, oh sweet! I skimmed a couple of your threads, but that's all time has allowed me to do.

I hope I'll be able to get some chances to read more of your work, and possibly open up an RP with you (here or there or both!)

[Gash]

...whoah. Thanks, and it'd be my pleasure. I didn't stick you on the list because I figured, hey, we haven't written together and I'm not that prolific, so there'd be little reason for you to have read any of my stuff. Neat.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

I'll respond when I have time to formulate a complete answer. :D

[Salem Ave]

You are easily one of, if not the, best writer of your ‘generation’ of SWFans. I’ll admit, you pissed me off when we first interacted, but that was because you got the better of me and I didn’t want to admit it :P But I have a lot of respect for you now. You’re creative with your writing, and having created a genuinely interesting set of characters. I do think that in time Je’gan’s name will be up there with the rest of the memorable dark siders who go down in SWfans history. I have nothing but admiration for you.

[Vampyre Dalamar]

Well I don't like you at all.(wink) One because your about to beat Dalamar and up until now he has never been beaten. Heck Lileana DeVille is about to whoop on me. Dalamars pride is definately going to be knocked down a couple of pegs. Oh well how else would he be trainable.

Anyway about Je'gan I like the darkstuff but don't really know what it is. I also see that you use every rp as a building stone for your characters. You would rp and say this is where I learned this. This is how I got this. Something I don't do. I just rp. Maybe thats how you got knight status so quickly heavy documentation. Its a good strategy for building your characters on this game.

Don't care for the girl much. But my interaction with her so far is limited. Gash I barely know and the others I don't know at all...

[Gash]

Thanks, Jen.

Dal...it's been my pleasure fighting you. I admit I started to hate your guts in our first fight - I just wasn't used to all these autohit moves that I knew my character could have blocked or evaded. But it's a tradeoff: you're taking things that I know you're probably able to block, even as I'm doing the same, and overall it's turning into a really interesting story.

The dark stuff is something I made up: it's called Shadow, and it's a way of taking your emotions and turning them into a physical construct. Very handy at times, though I've tried not to use it much except under extreme duress - it's just so different.

Yes, you count as extreme duress :D

Choir is an arrogant, self-centered, apathetic...I'll stop there. Suffice it to say that she's the reason Je'gan is shy around women. She infiltrated his mind when he was asleep and raped him.

[Naj Arilov]

I'd like to compare notes between Je'gan and Silus with you one day.

[Gash]

I'd like that too. I don't know much about Silus specifically - ex Balmorran, friend of s'Il, and of course LD's consort; that's about it. And I've read the miniature bio with skillset. Interesting, that: that his abilities change according to his state of mind.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Je'gan Olra'en - Of course this is your first character, as LD is mine, so he's the most interesting of all of them because you've spent the most time with him. I don't know much about him because I haven't RPed with him (well except for in Convergence where I got to conveniently kick your ass ;)) but from what I've read he's a great character. I need to spend a few days reading RPs and get to know him. He's heavily weighted on the side of mentalics, but unlike, say, Xazor, he isn't good at everything. He's weak in other areas, which is great - it makes for a more realistic character! As Jenny said, you're easily one of the best of your generation of writers here at Sw-Fans.

Gash - This character intrigues me greatly. He's a big, lumbering idiot, basically, and you stick with it so well! Such a slow character might get boring, but he doesn't suddenly change in any RP. He's like a dog with a bone - finds something and sticks with it until it's done. I look forward to seeing how his interactions with Salem his master go. :p

Baracc Olra'en - younger brother of Je'gan, he's almost got the same syndrome as Aaron Belargic does about Dasq. He's sort of sitting in his brother's shadow, but unlike Aaron, he doesn't seem to mind much. He seems easily startled, maybe jumpy at times? Definetely young and not self-assured yet, which will probably come in time as he realizes that he's got more potential than Je'gan and starts to surpass him in skill. Still, I haven't read much of him, and so I don't have many suggestions.

Choir Aztaroth - don't know anything about her except that she's part of TSO. I think...?

Minion Alghieri - don't know anything about him except he's a bounty hunter?

[Han Fernua]

Glad to see that you want my opinion.

First off, Je'gan: At first, I really, really, really hated you. I dont know why at the time, but I think it was because you seemed to just move up in the ranks and become so powerful with so little time. Not many have done that, and a few(one that comes to mind but wont mention) are thought of in a good way. Sure, you can RP and sure you do it well. I just didn't like it, not to mention the whole mental stuff.

But know what I see how you have worked things out a better, I see that you are not as bad as I thought and kind of look at him with a weird...I dont know what you call it...but I think of him higher in a sense of how you RP. What I mean is that you use so much detail and correct wording and even words that I dont know to explain, express, and just show what kind of a person he is. Though, I have never really RPed with him before (not that I know) I think of him as more on the lines of a true sith. I have a very defined version of what a Sith should be like, and many dont fall into that view. Personally, the sith have gone way to soft and cudly. But you keep it at a point to where he is a Sith, but he is not a dumb, power hungry, blood thirsty villian. Now, for a Sith this is not always bad, but you keep it to a fine line that really shows him off.

He's about the only person I can really comment on, and I dont know what else to really say. I think I'd also like to see a little more of the emotional side of him. Sith usually are, in a sense, since they dont look at their emotions as being the cause for falling and whatnot.

[Alf]

Ok well the only one I'm goint o really comment on is Je'gan because that is the only one that I really have seen for a great deal of your roleplaying. So here are a few points about him:

1) Writing. Don't ever stop. You are truely one of the most gifted writers I have seen in a long time and it truely is a wonderful time to just read your threads. I think it is the depth of details that you go into. It just makes it all seem more realistic and it more alive to me. I especially love the thread that you wrote in which Je'gan made his lightsaber.

2) When I first made Yurza I was planning on having him go in as a mentalist, but then he got put on the backburner for a long time and just now I've decided to bring him out and play with him. I must say you have been a truely inspirational character for for Yurza to go more in depth in his training. In fact I started a whole new training thread over at Meras based just on our little duel and I would be looking forward to one more in the future sometime.

3) Your interaction with Kathrine has been absolutely superb. I wanted her to get into people's faces and annoy them and that is exactly what she has done with Je'gan which bring a more defined personality feature to him because while she is bad mouthing everyone you are trying to "show" her to respect others. It is great because you can really learn a lot about who he looks up to and know that he can really just be a normal person and annoyed by a stupid littel girl.

[Royston Basillie]

Well, I've only RPed with Je'gan (not as Kyzer but other Characters of mine *cough* Zereth Lancer *cough*

I, like rognan, really disliked Je;gan at first. Mostly for the way he kept showing up when Zereth was in trouble and saving his butt. But I think he's turned out great. You've always been so descriptive in your posts, which I think is one of the most inmportant things, and when you fight its so easy to know exacly what your doing.

I don't think a better person could be training my character (Zereth), I can't think of the words to say more so this is all ya get :)

[Gash]

Well, I can't say I'm surprised that people hated me. I got Knighted way too early, and to be totally blunt I GM'ed a bit in my early days as a Knight even though I was writing my butt off with self-training to 'justify' my rank. It's only been a year, but I'd like to think I've changed since then...and this is great; it looks like I've succeeded for the most part. Thank you all. Really.

Rog, I'd really like our characters to meet sometime. Je'gan's the Darksider with some Light in him, and an Elder; Rognan is the Lightsider with a tinge of Dark, and a Council member; and for all intents and purposes I think they have approximately the same power and experience. Might be kinda neat.

Alf/Shade...my pleasure working with Kathrine, and a full-out mental duel was fun to write - not like anything I've really done before outside of training threads and so forth. Certainly not to that extent.

And Kyle, thanks. O'course, I was just having so much fun as Je'gan driving Zereth nuts...I liked the way that turned out. Great duel. We're going to have to do that again at some point.

[Han Fernua]

You know, your just going to have to PM me or give me a IM name so that we can talk more. Thats weird, though, about Rog and Je'gan. I didn't think many really knew about that point in his life where he was just about to fall. I would love to do some RPs with you, being that you are such a great writer and whatnot. :)

[Gash]

I'm on MSN on occasion; baron_la_warre%hotmail.com. MSN only works on some of the computers I use, though, and I won't be on tonight.

[Kyashi]

I was wondering who that was on my MSN list! >_<

With all of these "rate-me" threads, it just re-enforces that we need to do one big ole group rp :lol.

[Gash]

Yep yep.

[Vampyre Dalamar]

Yes I agree, I would like to be talking to some people that don't want to fight me as there first words of hello.. lol

[Han Fernua]

Well, I dont have MSN...yet. But I'll see what I can do to get it.

[Kyashi]

Trillian, Rog my man :cool

As for the group rp, we should do something. Even if we don't play as our KA characters, it should still be fun. :)