Loklorien s'Ilancy
Dec 11th, 2004, 07:31:43 AM
The Triumvirate of Ultimate Evil is an extremely secretive organization that has taken up residence within my home, and being the patriotic American that I am, I have taken it upon myself to infiltrate their organization of terror. Too many times I have had to replace broken and destroyed possessions of mine, as well as pick up dislodged items that had mysteriously found their ways from shelf to floor. Why, the other day I got home from work to find that the enirety of my house had been TP'ed - ON THE INSIDE. Needless to say it was time to become strategic in my dealings with these menaces, and so I grabbed my trusty webcam and headed off to expose these creatures of mayhem. An easy task? Not so much. As the cord only extends so far, I couldn't exactly Solid Snake it into the bedroom to snap sufficient evidence of the culprits hanging from the curtains or trying to dig their way into my underwear drawer with the vicious intent of spreading my unmentionables all about. Nor could I gain entrance to their hallowed domain - the kitchen, to get shots of them dismembering toy soldiers and hiding out under the kitchen sink.
Thusly, I opted for the next best option.
In a moment of sheer brilliance, I decided to sit on the living room floor and begin to draw. Now, as any owner of the diabolical feline beast knows, cats are invariably drawn to paper in the hopes of laying across its' entire surface. And mine are no different. Needless to say, my plan worked perfectly, as all three dropped whatever article of clothing, roll of TP, or poor LT. Dan they had clenched in their little evil teeth and immediately converged upon my position in a well timed three-pronged attack. Success!!
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/catpile.jpg
Now, I must stress that this plan to lure them from their agendas of terror was a dangerous one, and so I stress that only trained professionals attempt such a thing. Carefully, I procurred another image of them blissfully lounging atop my sketchpad.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/catpile2.jpg
At this point in time, I feel it necessary to provide details on who The Triumvirate of Ultimate Evil consists of. This is not some villain's yacht club, I will tell you now. You won't be finding Breetai, Myotismon, or any other lackluster villain here; no sir. No, in this line-up we have from left to right: Cobra Commander, Mum-Ra, and Skeletor. Perhaps the most pragmatic of the three, Cobra Commander once led a failed attack with Mum-Ra against Skeletor. Of course, when Skeletor looked upon the charging duo, Cobra Commander issued the order to retreat, and both fled to the depths of their kitchen hide-out with Skeletor closing on their heels.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/stealthystealthy.jpg
Well, it was time to up the ante, and so I decided to get closer to this slumbering pile of dastardly furriness. Here we have Mum-Ra, oblivious to the camera as it exposes her for what she really is. Unlike her namesake, she does not in fact have the immortal and maniacle laugh of her predecessor. Though, what she lacks in noise she more than makes up for in sheer deviousness. Don't let her fuzzy exterior lure you into any sense of false securities. The moment you reach out to pet her, this once lovable ball of love will quickly flop to the ground, roll onto her back, and grab your hand with lightning fast paws and pull it towards her toothy maw of pointies.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/spotted.jpg
And I've been spotted!! Oh Cobra Commander, you sly devil, you! At this point in time, I decided it was time to fall back. Hopefully nothing would come of this breach in my stealth abilities, but one can never be too hopefull with this bunch. As I soon found out.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/everthepragmatist.jpg
Cobra Commander is no simpleton, as she was quick to let me know. I watched helplessly, only able to snap evidence of her doings, while she went to work on the source of her and her partners' exposure - the cable to the webcam. Of course, who could expect any less from the leader of Cobra?
Well, my computer desk was summarily invaded as a result of my photographic transgressions. The quiet yet deadly machine of tooth and claw, Mum-Ra, took on the task of distracting me with her poof-ball cuteness. This of course allowed her comrades to move into position... Working in conjunction with Mum-Ra, Cobra Commander took up residence upon my monitor, ready to strike. Skeletor joined Cobra Commander soon after, obsiously in an attempt to flush me out. After all, two against one always wins, right guys? However, Skeletor's plan was rather ill-concieved, as he happened to be right on the edge of my monitor.
I stared at the two monsters before me, draped over the edge of my monitor with very apparent looks of victory in their eyes. Of course, that victory was rather shortlived, as I watched Skeletor begin to slip. And by the time he'd realized he was sliding, it was too late. He had no traction, and consequently went down; sending the phone to the floor, and my beer flying first into my lap, then onto the carpet.
Lucky for me I have just the weapon to counteract such a devious move:
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/thankgod.jpg
His pride was of course damaged, and so Skeletor padded off to go sulk, but not before reminding me that he controlled my sketchbook.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/sulking.jpg
For now that is all I can offer, as all three have retreated to the bedroom to gain some much-needed rest. After all, they need all the energy they can gather for their next assault. Until then, I await with baited breath and one big dose of trepidation.
Thusly, I opted for the next best option.
In a moment of sheer brilliance, I decided to sit on the living room floor and begin to draw. Now, as any owner of the diabolical feline beast knows, cats are invariably drawn to paper in the hopes of laying across its' entire surface. And mine are no different. Needless to say, my plan worked perfectly, as all three dropped whatever article of clothing, roll of TP, or poor LT. Dan they had clenched in their little evil teeth and immediately converged upon my position in a well timed three-pronged attack. Success!!
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/catpile.jpg
Now, I must stress that this plan to lure them from their agendas of terror was a dangerous one, and so I stress that only trained professionals attempt such a thing. Carefully, I procurred another image of them blissfully lounging atop my sketchpad.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/catpile2.jpg
At this point in time, I feel it necessary to provide details on who The Triumvirate of Ultimate Evil consists of. This is not some villain's yacht club, I will tell you now. You won't be finding Breetai, Myotismon, or any other lackluster villain here; no sir. No, in this line-up we have from left to right: Cobra Commander, Mum-Ra, and Skeletor. Perhaps the most pragmatic of the three, Cobra Commander once led a failed attack with Mum-Ra against Skeletor. Of course, when Skeletor looked upon the charging duo, Cobra Commander issued the order to retreat, and both fled to the depths of their kitchen hide-out with Skeletor closing on their heels.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/stealthystealthy.jpg
Well, it was time to up the ante, and so I decided to get closer to this slumbering pile of dastardly furriness. Here we have Mum-Ra, oblivious to the camera as it exposes her for what she really is. Unlike her namesake, she does not in fact have the immortal and maniacle laugh of her predecessor. Though, what she lacks in noise she more than makes up for in sheer deviousness. Don't let her fuzzy exterior lure you into any sense of false securities. The moment you reach out to pet her, this once lovable ball of love will quickly flop to the ground, roll onto her back, and grab your hand with lightning fast paws and pull it towards her toothy maw of pointies.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/spotted.jpg
And I've been spotted!! Oh Cobra Commander, you sly devil, you! At this point in time, I decided it was time to fall back. Hopefully nothing would come of this breach in my stealth abilities, but one can never be too hopefull with this bunch. As I soon found out.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/everthepragmatist.jpg
Cobra Commander is no simpleton, as she was quick to let me know. I watched helplessly, only able to snap evidence of her doings, while she went to work on the source of her and her partners' exposure - the cable to the webcam. Of course, who could expect any less from the leader of Cobra?
Well, my computer desk was summarily invaded as a result of my photographic transgressions. The quiet yet deadly machine of tooth and claw, Mum-Ra, took on the task of distracting me with her poof-ball cuteness. This of course allowed her comrades to move into position... Working in conjunction with Mum-Ra, Cobra Commander took up residence upon my monitor, ready to strike. Skeletor joined Cobra Commander soon after, obsiously in an attempt to flush me out. After all, two against one always wins, right guys? However, Skeletor's plan was rather ill-concieved, as he happened to be right on the edge of my monitor.
I stared at the two monsters before me, draped over the edge of my monitor with very apparent looks of victory in their eyes. Of course, that victory was rather shortlived, as I watched Skeletor begin to slip. And by the time he'd realized he was sliding, it was too late. He had no traction, and consequently went down; sending the phone to the floor, and my beer flying first into my lap, then onto the carpet.
Lucky for me I have just the weapon to counteract such a devious move:
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/thankgod.jpg
His pride was of course damaged, and so Skeletor padded off to go sulk, but not before reminding me that he controlled my sketchbook.
http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/sulking.jpg
For now that is all I can offer, as all three have retreated to the bedroom to gain some much-needed rest. After all, they need all the energy they can gather for their next assault. Until then, I await with baited breath and one big dose of trepidation.