Marcus Telcontar
Aug 25th, 2004, 03:06:46 AM
Okay, that should have been obvious. Well, to me it was. To the person in the room where I was today, playing it on a DVD, it was not. So unfortunantly I was subjected to this horror.
What's there to like about it?
I answer this first because this wont take long. Some action is okay. Some CG is okay. Sound is pretty well done.
Anything blech?
Nah.
What's there to hate about this film?
Why in the name of God did anyone green light this excrement. Not only is the plot (for want of a better word) confusing.... I really doubt it was a consideration when fil was being shot. I think it was edited in as an afterthought.
Acting as you might well suspect is dreadful. Burt Renolds, WHY. Stallone... WHY? Token bimbo lead ladies.... okay, they acted as well as they could. utterly devoid of talent. Or good looks.
Now, I uppose Hollywood thinks that revheads are too stupid to think we need a plot and we will watch cars go round and round with the odd crash. Considerign how badly this thing did at the box office, it looks like revheads actually know better and werent stupid enough to be taken in.
Lets now go to the really offensive bit and what I suspect was the whole point - the racing.
Offensive as no sane or half competent racer would even contemplate or be capable of the moronic moves and setups. And lets not get started on impossible physics that are an insult to any half sane viewer. The crashes are perposterous and CG enchanced to a point where not only are they totally over the top, they are clearly impossible to achieve and thence your laughing at them instead of getiing into the Dramatic Moment.
Think about this. One car locks wheels with another. Not only is this wheel locking telegraphed for 5 minutes, the car hits a guard rail, goes sailing upwards. In the rain. Indy cars are put behind a pace car
Okay, so?
It's supposed to be doing 150 mph. So mo of flying debris and driver. Car nose up - next shot it coming back down NOSE DOWN and is cleaned up by another car going a CG'ed 200 mph faster.
Oh wait, it slowed down to negative 50 mph in mid air? WHAT?
Then it's belted 200 meters away explodes and burns. brightly. in a lake
Except these cars use Methanol
Wait. Methanol doesnt burn brightly. It's invisible. And it's easily put out in water
So while the driver is supposed to be dying, I'm laughing my backside of at the utter stupidity. Or was that laughing to stop my intestine from strangling me to stop the pain this movie inflicted?
Avoid Driven at all cost. It gets 0.5 out of ten because the DVD makes a good coaster.
What's there to like about it?
I answer this first because this wont take long. Some action is okay. Some CG is okay. Sound is pretty well done.
Anything blech?
Nah.
What's there to hate about this film?
Why in the name of God did anyone green light this excrement. Not only is the plot (for want of a better word) confusing.... I really doubt it was a consideration when fil was being shot. I think it was edited in as an afterthought.
Acting as you might well suspect is dreadful. Burt Renolds, WHY. Stallone... WHY? Token bimbo lead ladies.... okay, they acted as well as they could. utterly devoid of talent. Or good looks.
Now, I uppose Hollywood thinks that revheads are too stupid to think we need a plot and we will watch cars go round and round with the odd crash. Considerign how badly this thing did at the box office, it looks like revheads actually know better and werent stupid enough to be taken in.
Lets now go to the really offensive bit and what I suspect was the whole point - the racing.
Offensive as no sane or half competent racer would even contemplate or be capable of the moronic moves and setups. And lets not get started on impossible physics that are an insult to any half sane viewer. The crashes are perposterous and CG enchanced to a point where not only are they totally over the top, they are clearly impossible to achieve and thence your laughing at them instead of getiing into the Dramatic Moment.
Think about this. One car locks wheels with another. Not only is this wheel locking telegraphed for 5 minutes, the car hits a guard rail, goes sailing upwards. In the rain. Indy cars are put behind a pace car
Okay, so?
It's supposed to be doing 150 mph. So mo of flying debris and driver. Car nose up - next shot it coming back down NOSE DOWN and is cleaned up by another car going a CG'ed 200 mph faster.
Oh wait, it slowed down to negative 50 mph in mid air? WHAT?
Then it's belted 200 meters away explodes and burns. brightly. in a lake
Except these cars use Methanol
Wait. Methanol doesnt burn brightly. It's invisible. And it's easily put out in water
So while the driver is supposed to be dying, I'm laughing my backside of at the utter stupidity. Or was that laughing to stop my intestine from strangling me to stop the pain this movie inflicted?
Avoid Driven at all cost. It gets 0.5 out of ten because the DVD makes a good coaster.