A Call from Home (Falcon)

[Rikki Van-Warren]

Rikki had just gotten back from the Archives when the holo-comm began it's annoying buzz.

Rhea wasn't home at the moment as the Padawan walked over and checked it out. With a deep sigh, she saw it was being transmitted from Naboo...from her parents home. No doubt it was probably her mother, checking up on her as she did every so often.

No often enough for Rikki, it had been nearly three months and this was the first time since...she didn't even want to think of that time in her life. A time of binging and purging...it still haunted her, but her master had helped a lot.

The buzzing brought her back from her thoughts as she pressed the transmit button. Sure enough, a hologram of her mother appeared before her.

"Greetings, mother." Rikki said with not much enthusiasm.

"Rikki, dear. You're looking...nice."

"Thanks, and you're looking the same as always." Rikki returned sourly. "What can I do for you?"

"It's not really for me, but for Kevan. He's made it to Nationals in the running meter races and he wishes you to be there and cheer him on. His coach says he's got it made for the Olympics this year and he's sure there are going to be scouts. He'd...I...we would really like it if you could be here to celebrate this honor. Bring your Master too and if you have any other friends that you'd like to have come, we've got the room.

Kevan really wants you here, he wants you to be proud of him."

"I am proud of him and I'll talk to my Master about it and see if we can get some time away, when is it?" Rikki asked.

"In two weeks, don't worry about lodging you can stay here. Rikki," her mother began. "I know, you've gone through some tough times and I've not helped in the matter, so please come home for this. I really want things to be better between us."

Rikki looked away for a moment. "I'll see what I can do and I'll comm you back in a day or so."

"Alright, sweetheart, I'll be waiting. Bye." The comm ended, leaving Rikki torn.

It was about an hour later, when she commed her Master, who had not been on the grounds at that time, but near.

"When you have a free moment, I really need to talk to you, Master." Was about all she said to his voice mail.

The evening was drawing near and the traffic was beginning to calm, at least for Coruscant.

Rikki sat in her living room window ledge awaiting her master and watching the sun slowly dip behind the skyscrapers.

[Falcon Gyndar]

Falcon had been elsewhere....away from the temple, away from anywhere where people that knew him might be. On the most difficult search for inner peace and solitude his life had brought him thus far. He'd turned off his comm, left a message just saying that he would get back to whosoever called when he had the time. When evening arrived, Falcon came to his senses, realizing he had not eaten today..

The Jedi Knight switched on his comm, to see a few messages waiting for him. One from Hayden, just checking on him, one from Natia's brother ( How DID that boy Thariyne get his comm number? Oh yes...it would be listed in the Order's directory somewhere, he was sure.) And one from his padawan, Rikki, saying she really needed to talk. Usually that caused concern...It did somewhat, but not as much as it would have before the incident with Thalius.

"I'd better give her a call." Falcon entered to respond to her message, and seconds later, Rikki was 'on the line' .

"Hello?"

Falcon cleared his somewhant dehydrated throat. "Good evening, Rikki..It's Falcon. You left me a message earlier? Sorry I couldn't get back to you until now...What's up?"

[Rikki Van-Warren]

"Good evening, Master and that's alright, I know you've been busy since your return. I received a comm earlier from my mom and she told me that my my little brother, who's seventeen was going to the Naboo Nationals in his metered runs and he wanted me to be able to come and cheer him on. He's talking about going to the Olympics soon and I sounds like he might just be able to do that. But, anyway, it's in two weeks and we've both been invited and I can bring along anyone else I want, I thought I'd ask Rhea to come. Can we go, Master? This is really important to my brother."

Rikki hadn't seen her brother in many months.

[Falcon Gyndar]

A moment's hesitation followed that before Falcon answered.

"I suppose it would not be a problem. As long as we are able to train during this trip. You know very well there is catching up to be done."

[Rikki Van-Warren]

"No problem, Master. I'll do whatever you want me too." Rikki's voice no doubtedly sounded excited. She was going home to see her young brother!

[Falcon Gyndar]

"Sounds good...."

I'm always looking for ways to get away.

"It'll be a nice trip off-planet. It will be kind of nice to meet your family, Miss Van-Warren." I wish you could meet mine. I wish everyone could.

[Rikki Van-Warren]

There was something in his voice that didn't sound quite right. Falcon had changed a great deal whilst his leave and Rikki still hadn't gotten the entire jist of what happened. Only that whatever he had come in contact with had been very bad.

"Master...are you alright?" She finally got the nerve to ask. It wasn't like her to poke into her master's business, but this felt different.

[Falcon Gyndar]

He took a short breath, and forced a laugh.

"I'm...fine, Rikki."

Dropping his hands to dangle between his crouched legs, Falcon looked out over the city, knowing full well that was a lie. She didn't deserve this lack of truth. His student had been nothing short of caring since the day he'd met her. The Jedi Knight wasn't helping himself at all this way.

"Master?"

He held the comm up to his mouth again. "Don't worry about it."

[Rikki Van-Warren]

Rikki sighed deeply, when someone said don't worry about it, it usually meant just the opposite.

"You know I will, Master. Since I already thought I lost you once." She had probably said too much, but she couldn't help it.

Rikki felt hurt that her master had no intentions of sharing whatever he had going on with her. She'd read in the Archives that a bond between Master and Padawan was the often stronger than perental bonds with sharing everything.

The two of them had been close to it before Falcon disappeared and now he was further away than ever.

A tear fell down her cheek, she was glad her master couldn't see her for once. "I've got to go, Master. I'll talk to ya later. We leave in two weeks." She said these things hastily and cut the connection.

[Falcon Gyndar]

The connection cut, Falcon just stared at his comm for a few moments, then pocketed it, sighing deeply.

He rested his head on his fists, and watched the sunset. I've got to stop doing this...I can't let anyone down anymore.

With that, Falcon stood, and made his way back to the GJO.

[Rikki Van-Warren]

The distance she felt from her master hurt as Rikki switched off the comm and in a sudden bout of anger, threw the comm across the room, shattering it.

She didn't care as she flung herself on her bed and cried into her pillow, she'd never felt more alone.

Rikki, you're not alone, you have me. But, it's been a while, I'm your only 'real' friend you have.

The Padawan stiffened as she heard the voice in her head...it was the same one that haunted her dreams...

"You're not real, leave me alone." God, she was going insane!

[Falcon Gyndar]

He couldn't help but feel worse for shutting himself in...every step he took towards the temple. And that the connection between himself and his padawan was so weak he didn't know how she was feeling really.

Apparently regret wasn't something he should feel as a Jedi. But his life was one big question in the past many months....

I shouldn't let it get to me.

Falcon went on his comm and left a message for A'jorrah. He would stay at the GJO tonight. He needed to talk to Rikki. It started to rain as Falcon neared the temple, and headed to the closest entrance to the living quarters.

"Just in time, too."

He slipped through the doors, and stared down the corridor. What are you afraid of, Gyndar? She's not going to chew your head off. -- Falcon shook his head. Damn conscience was right. He took off down the hall at a slight jog, tracing over the door numbers until he came to Rikki's. He knocked.

"Ahh...Rikki? I think we need to talk."

[Rikki Van-Warren]

Aww, Rikki. I'm your friend, I can help you. Don't listen to Falcon, he's already left you once. He will leave you again, without a moments notice...I will never leave you.

Rikki hadn't heard her Master's call.

"Shut up and leave me alone!!" She screamed as she crossed the room with her head in her hands.

You can't trust him, you can't trust any man...

The Padawan flopped onto the sofa and curled up, she closed her eyes as tears streamed from them. "Just go away, please just leave me alone." She whispered, she didn't want to hear this voice, it scared her terribly.

[Falcon Gyndar]

It was his turn to be concerned. Falcon jumped a little when Rikki screamed.

Somehow he knew it wasn't for him. Rikki wasn't one to scream at him, and the small mistake of keeping to himself, he knew, wouldn't make her this way. Falcon spoke up, banging on the door this time.

"RIKKI......"

She was sobbing heavily. He could hear it. His padawan always cried with reason.

"...please open the door." There was a twinge of concern in his voice. It seems he wasn't alone when it came to having big problems.

[Rikki Van-Warren]

I can't leave you, Rikki...I am you.

Had she lost her grip with reality? This voice that spoke her wasn't her, it was a demon. But, this time she wasn't ill and wasn't doing things she wasn't supposed to.

It was making her head hurt, as she sobbed uncontrollably.

The voice fell silent as Rikki heard a pounding on the door. It was Falcon. What had just happened?

Rikki was curled up on the sofa, hugging her knees. The Padawan sat shaking, and breathing heavily and her face was still wet with tears.

With a great effort, she was able to summon enough of the Force to unlock the door and let it click open. Her head was pounding as she tried to collect herself as her Master came in.

[Falcon Gyndar]

Falcon pushed the door the rest of the way open, and looked in at Rikki. He could see she wasn't doing all too well at all. The knight walked in and crouched in front of her, looking at her face.

"Rikki...what's the matter?"

His voice carried genuine concern, smothering the shake of his own problems.

[Rikki Van-Warren]

Rikki stared at Falcon as if not believing he was even there, then she cocked her head to the side slightly as more tears began falling.

"Master, I'm losing my mind." She whispered barely audible. "The demon in my head...is back. I'm scared, Master."

[Falcon Gyndar]

Falcon looked at his hands, which were hanging between his crouched legs, then he looked again at Rikki's tear-stained face.

"It takes time to...exorcise...one's inner demons."

He'd discovered this himself....very well over the past while. "I have mine, and you have yours."

Falcon sighed. "I admit I've been wrong to shut you out when it comes to mine, but help you with yours. What do you say to making this road run both ways? I won't lie about my problems anymore, and you stay honest about yours?"

[Rikki Van-Warren]

Rikki wanted that, she wanted that so badly.

You can't trust him, you can trust no one!

Rikki squeezed her eyes shut and her lower lip trembled as she heard the voice in her mind.

Once it quieted, she looked at her master. "I want that, Master and I'll do anything to keep your trust with me. I want that closeness that other Padawan's have with their masters..." She felt ashamed for having to say it.

It nearly made her cry again and she felt stupid because of it. "I'm sorry, Master..."

[Falcon Gyndar]

Falcon smiled a small smile.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, Miss Van-Warren. I understand it completely. The death of my master hit me just as hard as the death of my mother and father."

That was still hard. It was unexpected.

[Rikki Van-Warren]

That was the first time, he'd ever shared anything with her on a personal basis, at least that personal.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Master." Rikki told him as she began to get a hold of her emotions again.

"I don't understand what triggered this tonight, I've been fine for months."

[Falcon Gyndar]

Falcon stood up from crouching.

"Don't worry about it. It's something to be worked on. There's a fine Jedi to be made out of you yet."

[Rikki Van-Warren]

Rikki wasn't too sure of that at this moment. "I don't know about that, Master. I mean, how can I be a good Jedi if I keep having this stupid voice in my head taunting me?"

[Falcon Gyndar]

Falcon actually laughed a little at that.

"Oh.. Sorry.. Well, there's ways to take care of that, you know. The Jedi haven't been around ions for nothing..."

[Rikki Van-Warren]

A half smile appeared on the Padawan's face. "You have a point there. Well, I hope someone can take care of it, because I really don't want to be known as the freak Jedi, who doesn't have control of her thoughts. That would really be a downer."

[Falcon Gyndar]

Falcon just didn't venture to say anything on the 'freak jedi' comment.

"Why don't you get cleaned up and then we can go start working on that problem now? I want you to be able to get a good night's sleep."

[Rikki Van-Warren]

Rikki nodded as she wiped away the last speck of tears. "Alright, Master. I'll do anything to get this voice out of my head, especially before my roommate thinks I'm crazy or before I go home."

She paused for a moment and then looked back into his eyes. "I want your help, Master...and this time, I won't be afraid to ask for it."

[Falcon Gyndar]

"Good. Keep it that way."

He rubbed his face. The stubble was growing beyond stubble.

"Sit up, and relax a few moments. Attempt to create some clarity in your mind."