An Internal Problem

[Tiberius Anar]

Count Yetti Varr suspected that the Ministry of Internal Affairs had been created as some elaborate form of punishment for his past political misdemenours. As Minister of Internal Affairs he was responsible for "the co-ordination of the implementation of central policy and the maintenance of order all Imperial Territories not under martial law." This sounded like a wonderful post, a powerful post from which to he could become Chancellor- but he had discovered it was not so wonderful a post after all. He spent his days dealing with inter-planetary feuds.

Every world had an enemy who, for reasons now forgotten, had to be beaten and despite sixty years of centralised rule they kept trying to start wars with one another. t least once a month he had to leave the comfort of Thyferra in order to mediate some niggling dispute between two worlds that had started snapping at one another. Of course that was usually quite easy, the threat of a couple of stardestroyers over both worlds tended to make them see sense, but it was the endless watching that got to him. The Ministry had its own spy network called the Internal Investigations Bureau that kept an eye on local affairs in an effort to anticipate the next little conflict. And so today he found the latest report on a small world called Kethalis IV in the Corridor Sector sitting on his desk. And he did not like it.

[Tiberius Anar]

The information contained in the report was much what Varr had come to expect from such a document. It contained a summary of the planet- its assets (mainly hybrid grains and farm land), population (a mere twelve million), and value to the Imperial Sovereignty (miniscule). The report was no so blunt on the last point, rather it highlighted the absence of an Imperial Governor and the presence of only two system defence ships and a squadron of aging TIE fighters, the size of a system defence force and the rank of the senior resident official were good indicators of its importance.

Varr flipped through the file to the political analyses, which were the cause of his concern, and glanmced throught them again. Yes this was definitely not good.

He keyed the intercom, "Get Sheckt in here now!"

[Tiberius Anar]

Sheckt's full name was Wilhelm August Friedrich. His friends (a small group) called him Willie, almost everyone else called him "Sir". He was the Secretary of the Ministry of Ibnternal Affairs- the top civil servant in the ministry- and master of all he surveyed. He regarded the minister as a necessary nuiscance and so he was less than happy at being summoned by Varr in such sharp manner. The normal procedure was to arrange an appointment and to send some sort of briefing paper along to him. But today it seemed that normal procedure was to be eskewed in favour of expediency.

This did not stop Sheckt taking his time getting to the Minister's Office. He finished dictating a letter and then spent a minute perusing his diary- ostensibly to see what damage had been done to his schedule, but in reality to delay the meeting.

[Tiberius Anar]

By the time Sheckt reached the minister's office (which was a scant twenty metres from his own) Varr was in a state of considrable agitation. He was pacing the floor of his office and casting angry glances at the wall chrono every few seconds. When Sheckt entered he was greeted with a sharp, "Three minutes and twelve seconds!"

Sheckt paused on the threshold. Had the minister actually timed him?

"It has taken more than three minutes for you to walk down a corridor. Dammit Sheckt!"

Apparently he had.

"I was unaware that you had urgent need of my services," he replied.

"I call for you at fourteen hundred hours- when you are normally busy with dtatwork and I am usually engaged in meeings with the press, both of which are sacrosanct to us- and you don't believe I need you urgently?" Varr was incredulous.

Sheckt was unable to tink of a suitable answer to such logic so he diverted the discussion, "I am here now, Minister, and I am fully at your disposal. How may I serve you?" Perhas he could get to the bottom of this quickly and get back to more important matters.

"Kethalis IV" declared Varr.

"Yes?" replied Sheckt simply.

"There's a problem."

"Yes?"

"And we must deal with it."

"Yes?"

Varr eyed his chief official, "You have no idea what I am talking about do you?"

"On the contrary, Minister, I have a good idea."

"Ah, I'm glad" said Varr somewhat releaved.

"There is a problem and we must deal with it."

Varr's face twisted slightly with rage.

"Urgently," added Sheckt in an attempt to assuage his master's anger.

[Tiberius Anar]

It was not Sheckt's most successful effort in that department. Indeed one might say it was his least successful as it resulted in a even more anger.

"You don't know!" roared Varr, "How can you not know?"

Sheckt met this anger with his usual unflapabe calm, "Minister, I deal with a great many problems on a daily basis; the vast majority of which you never hear about. I am, therfore, unlikely to be able to discern the particular problem to which you refer on the basis of the information with which you have supplied me thus far."

Varr's anger was replaced with mild confusion, "I beg your pardon?"

Sheckt translated his words, "I do not know what problem you are asking me about, Minister, because you have not told me which one it is."

"I just did," retorted Varr, "the one on Kethalis IV."

"Which one?"

"Pardon?"

"Which problem?" explained Sheckt.

"Which problem?" repeated Varr.

Sheckt tried hard not to roll his eyes, "Which problem on Kethalis IV?" When this resulted in another perplexed look from the minister he decided to take another approach. "The problem with Kethalis IV's agriculture workers, system of subsidies to farmers, infrastructure, social security provisions..."

Varr finally understood, "The one with it's Chief Commisioner."

"Which one?" asked Sheckt.

Varr looked at him slightly goggle eyed, "Which Chief Commisioner? There's more than one?"

Sheckt was about to respond that to have two people as "Chief" was not possible- in gramatical terms- when he realised when he realised that he and the minister were still not on the same wavelength. "No, Minister, I meant: which probelm with the Chief Commisioner? His health problems, personal habits, or his manners?"

"I'm not sure."

[Tiberius Anar]

Five minutes of linguistic contortions, crossed wires and gramatical slip ups later and Sheckt was up to speed. Varr, however, looked pale and whan. The effort invoved in making himself understood to this bureacrat had been to much for the aging politician. He sat on a couch staring at the ceiling.

"Perhaps, Minister," ventured Sheckt, "I could return you are restored to your usual rude health?"

Varr's head snapped back into place, his body sprang forward and he locked his eyes on his senior official. "No we can talk now!"

"Very well, minister," said Sheckt, "You are concerned that the Chief Commisioner of Kethalis IV might retire shortly?"

"Yes," said Varr, then suddenly worried, "I'm don't need to explain that again do I?"

"No, Minister, I was merely confirming that I understand what the object of your concern is."

"Oh good," said Varr with a weak llaugh, "I was worried we might have to spend another five minutes clearing that up."

"Quite," said Sheckt with a (forced) laugh of his own, "The main concern is that the Chief Commisioner might retire shortly? That is correct also?"

"Yes," confirmed Varr, "It looks as if choosing his successor could provoke problems."

"It usually does," sighed Sheckt.

[Tiberius Anar]

Varr listened as Sheckt explained that the naming of a Chief Commisioner on any world like Kethalis IV was problematic. His concern was only deepened by the official's account.

It seemed that with worlds like Kethalis IV the usual rules were suspended. The policy of the Imperial Government had always been to place the control of subject worlds in the hands of outsiders. This was a sensible precaution since a local, placed in a position of authority, would be likely to favour the needs and wishes of their worlds over the needs of the Imperial Government. In the interests of good government and order, therefore, those appointed to positions of high authority in the regional governments would be those who were most apathetic towards the petty problems of the worlds in their charge.

Unfortunately for Varr, and for the Imperial Government, this was not possible in the case of Kethalis IV because its small size did not warrant anyone of greater rank than a chief commisioner. Chief Commisioners were normally appointed to oversee the co-ordination of policy on a world, but within the strict confines of a set area. There was, for example, a Chief Commisioner for Law Enforcement on Eriadu who co-ordinated the efforts of various planetary law enforcement agencies. The nature of this work usually demanded that they be "locals", so the only candidates for the post on Kethalis IV were natives of that world.

This would not have been a problem had Kethalis IV not been afflicted with ahistory of violent disaggreement with their neighbours on Bensar...

[Tiberius Anar]

"You must understand, Minister, that the selection of the next chief commisioner will, as a result of this long standing hatred, be a difficult decision."

"I rather gathered that, Sheckt," said Varr wearily, "What I want to know is how to deal with it."

"Well we follow custom. As a general rule everything has happened before, it is simply a matter of remembering how it was dealt with on earlier occasions and then repeating that."

"What happened on the other occasions, then?" asked Varr seeing a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

"Minister, the extent and range of my responsibilities, with so many overlapping and interlocking elements, prevents me from saying when, where, what and, indeed, why something was done. This is particularly true of the more obscure and intricate details of policy practiced prior to my rise to seniority."

The minister puzzeled his way through this, his face growing harder with each moment. When he reached the end of his line of reasoning he said quietly, "You don't know?"

"Not as such, Minister," replied Sheckt.

"Why not? You are the Secretary of the Ministry. You are the senior civil servant and my principal adviser. You ought to know."

"Yes, Minister, but as I have already explained: the extent and range of my responsibilities..."

"Be quiet," snapped Varr.

Sheckt's mouth shut with a small clicking sound. He had never been spoken to in such a manner- at least not by a minister.

[Tiberius Anar]

The Private Secretary to the Secretary of the Ministry of Internal Affairs (the cumbersome label applied to the junior civil servant who handled Sheckt's office administration) was some what concerned by his superior's appearance when he returned from the Minister's Office.

The normally haughty Sheckt appeared rather paler than usual, and he seemed to have lost several centimetres in height since leaving twenty minutes earlier. Being a discreet young man, and one who wished to retain his job until next pay day, the private secretary did not enquire as to the cause of this remarkable transformation.

He watched in silence as Sheckt passed on into his own office.

[Tiberius Anar]

Imperial Ministry of Internal Affairs
From the Secretary of the Ministry

Memorandum

Minister,

Following our discussions earlier today and at your request, I have ordered a complete report to be compiled on the planet Kethalis IV and its history. The report will be avaliable in one day.

your servant

W. A. F. Sheckt

[Tiberius Anar]

Imperial Ministry of Internal Affairs
From the Minister

Memorandum

Sheckt,

This is urgent. I want that report today.

YV

[Tiberius Anar]

Imperial Ministry of Internal Affairs
From the Minister


Sheckt,

This is not the report I asked for!

YV

Attachment: Stationary Requisitions Procedure (230 pages)

[Tiberius Anar]

Imperial Ministry of Internal Affairs
From the Secretary of the Ministry

Memorandum

Minister,

My apologies, from your memorandum of 1430 today it was not immediately clear to which report you referred. Could I seek clarification upon the matter as your memorandum of 1432 today, not to put too fine a point on it, failed to illuminate further your meaining to one who is, at present, occupied with many onerous tasks of a wide ranging nature.

your servant

W. A. F. Sheckt