Congratulations (Rognan, closed)

[Zeke]

Zeke sits up at the bar, hunched over it with a glass of soda resting before him. It seems that a lot's happened to his Padawan Rognan while he's been out on the Happy Child. Zeke has invited him here for lunch, to catch up and see what he's missed.

[Rognan Dar]

Indeed, many things had happened since Rognan and Zeke's last meeting. Last time was not the best of times for Rog. He was going through some great troubles with himself. One that he might not have gotten over if Zeke did not come to his aid and help him through it.

So now it has been quite some time since he last saw his Master, yet alone to have a good face to face talk. It would do him good to see his teachers face when he heard about all the things that has happened to him.

Rognan looked around the bar as he entered, leaving all weapons at the door. Spotting Zeke quickly, he makes his way to the hunched figure of his former master. Rog pats him on the back as he takes a seat to his left.

"Well, well. Look who has come back. Good to see you again, Zeke."

[Zeke]

"Yeah, it's good to see you to. Sit down, order anything. I've got your bill."

He sighs and takes a sip of his soda.

"What've you been up to since I left you here? You've been up to no good, I'll bet."

[Rognan Dar]

"Well, you should know me. Can never just keep things to myself."

Rognan caught the barmans eye and asked for a cup of water. Then he orders a small basket of fries. He got his water right away, but the fries needed to be cooked.

"Really, though. Lots of things have happened. Many good, and many bad. Which should I start with?"

[Zeke]

"Start with what happened first, or what happened that's most important. Those are always good places."

He sips his soda and orders a pizza.

[Rognan Dar]

"Ok, well, the most important thing that happened, you'll never guess this, I got promoted to Knight Ranking! I couldn't believe it really happened. Never even saw it coming."

[Zeke]

Zeke gags as the news catches him in the middle of his soda. The Knight pounds his chest for a minute, gasping until his breath returns, and manages to croak "You're kidding! Who beat me to it?"

[Rognan Dar]

Rognan watched in horrified amazement at Zeke's little choke, pound, and recover.

"Well, I guess the whole Council beat you to it. They all seemed to be in on it. They just called me up one day, not saying why, and started to ask me a few question before telling me that they thought I was ready to be knighted."

[Zeke]

"And they just did it right there on the spot, huh?" he asks. "I agree that you're ready, and probably have been for a while, but I've been away and I didn't get the chance to put you forward myself. It's kind of a let-down not to have been able to put you forward myself, but I'm glad it got done anyway."

The bartender brings Rognan's food by, but before the new knight can pay, Zeke has already taken care of it. Another fifty credits drops on the bar in front of Rognan.

"I'm leaving again this afternoon, so I won't be around. Take that and throw a party with all your friends. I'd throw it for you, if I could."

[Rognan Dar]

"Your leaving again? Where is it that you are always going? When I was new here I recall you being around the place alot. Now your off flying through space without letting anyone know where your going or anything..."

[Zeke]

"I have a job, man. I'm part of the crew of my dad's ship, the Happy Child. I've got to go swab the deck and take inventory and stuff. I can't very well tell anyone where I'm going because dad's stingy with our desitinations. He's been that way since we got the new ship."

[Rognan Dar]

"But it wasn't always like that. What happened to being a Jedi? You can't tell me that you have left that behind too. All your friends, all the things about this place, just left behind?"

[Zeke]

"I'm still a Jedi when we settle into port," Zeke says, trying to reassure his former student. "Think of it this way. I may not be here at the order much anymore, but I'm doing plenty of good out there, in the galaxy, where good needs to be done and where the Jedi are needed. Don't sweat it."

[Rognan Dar]

"Yes, I understand that. Its just that you haven't always been around to much of late. I just want things to be like it was before. All this change...its almost to much."

[Zeke]

"Yeah, sudden change can be a bit nerve-rattling," he admits. "But it happens, and we have to learn to cope with it."

[Rognan Dar]

"Its time to grow up and face the future. Yet the past seems more easyer then whats ahead. I just dont think I am ready for it. I dont know what I'll do next. So many things have gone wrong with me...I feel like I dont really belong here. And yet...the council has promoted me so that I might be able to help those who have no trainer yet. But how am I to teach when I still need teaching?"

[Zeke]

"Its easy. Teach what you know while you learn what you don't know. And when you know what you didn't know before, teach that, too. Nobody ever just stops learning anyways; you'll find you've always got something to new to learn, even when you're an old, wrinkly Jedi Master."

[Rognan Dar]

"Your right. There is so much to learn. So much knowlege to grasp onto and to teach others of it. To learn more about the force and the true powers hidden within. ...Thats what I fear. Is learning to much that I become ingulfed in the knowlege and the power and use it for my own selfish ways."

[Zeke]

"Bah. You know better. I have full confidence that you'll do better than what you just said. So does the rest of the Council and GJO, otherwise you wouldn't be a Knight right now."

[Rognan Dar]

"Sure, its easy to say that now when everything is fine and dandy. But what would happen if things start to fall apart, and I lose all control over myself. And with that lose of control I fall into the dark side and am lost forever because of what I might fine there. And its not like it hasn't happened before.

I told you of one incedent, remember? That hasn't been the only time. I almost went to far, almost did something I knew I didn't want to do. I couldn't even stop myself; it was my foe that spoke the words that brought me back. If I am able to fall so easily and so quickly then, who is to say that I wont do it again or completely lose it?"

[Zeke]

"You didn't though, did you?"

Zeke is uncharacteristically stern.

"You came back from it. You know that's a spectacular achievement, right? To resist temptation and hold onto yourself? That's an awesome thing, a very good, positive thing. I don't see why you aren't focusing on that instead of the temptation. You've got no reason to fear anything; you beat it once, focus on that. Be happy."

He stares into his glass, not sure if all his ramblings have made any sense or not. He's never been good with words. He sighs, and tries again.

"Look, the point is not to be afraid of this thing that happened to you. Kids learn to ride a bike, and after they master it, they're not afraid of it anymore. This is the same. Don't fear the tempation you faced. You conquered it already. I has no power over you."

[Rognan Dar]

"I'd like to think that it no longer has power over me. But who is to say that it wont happen again? What if something more troubling, frightning, angering happens to me and I do completely lose it. I could be turned easily then and whats to say that I dont come back and try and hurt people.

The dark presence is always with us, weither we notice it or not, it is still there. Even for you. Its just not overpowering you right now. We could all fall from where we are. Even the strongest of the Jedi could fall. If there is to much for them to handle."

Rognan sits back and gulps down the rest of his water.

"I'm just saying that it could happen again. Its not as easy as you say."

[Zeke]

""And I'm not denying it," Zeke sighs. "It will happen, but you shouldn't live in fear of it happening. It looks to me like you're worrying over every little thing, wondering if it's going to lead into a confrontation with the darkside. That's bad. Don't do it."

[Rognan Dar]

"I know, I know. I shouldn't focus on the past. But it is a ever present thought that I cant get ride of. I lay awake at night thinking over this. Thinking if I could ever have that happen again and cannot regain control. Thats what I fear. Complete lose of control."

[Zeke]

"You?" Zeke asks in a bewildered tone. "Of all my Padawans you were always the one that seemed to show the most restraint. I'm surprised."

He rubs his eyes as he thinks, pushing his glass out to get the bartender to refill it.

"Well, let's try this. Meditation is a good way of calming the mind and clearing one's thoughts. It takes a good amount of discipline to do, seeing as you have to remain still, quiet, and focused. I would recommend you meditate for an hour or so every day, just to see if that helps."

[Rognan Dar]

"I'll try anything. I dont want to have this...darkness...keep coming over me. Are you sure this will help? Even if I have a clear mind I cannot hide what is in my heart. or what is already part of me."

[Zeke]

"Don't hide it. Cope with it. Get a grip on it, and accept it. That's part of why we have meditation. Not only to calm and discipline the mind and body, but also to reflect on yourself. It's good for you."

[Rognan Dar]

Rognan nodded, his thoughts drifting off, a blank expresion on his face. How could he come to accept what he did? He killed men, men that could have lived if he didn't go after them with such hatred and anger, to slaughter them down like some kind of animal. To him, this was something that could not be forgiven, and he could not understand why anyone would think of him no less a Jedi because of it.