Morgan Evanar
Apr 30th, 2004, 05:55:24 PM
I recently was saddled up with a Pontiac Montana as rental. My comparison vehichle is a 1996 Ford Windstar that is pretty much beat to hell. I spent about 22 hours in this thing, in about 7 hour stretches.
To start, the interior in the Pontiac is nothing short of frelling Atrocious. I hate it with the burning fire of a sandpapered herpes sore. By far my biggest issue with the damn thing is the frelling seats, or, more accurately, tourture devices. We had an array of passenger sizes, and no one could be comfortable in them. Lower back support was non existent. Instead of just letting the seat be flat and mildly uncomfortable, GM added a bulge where your shoulders rest, forcing you to mimic a minion of Satan's Horde. Besides the fact that they're completely uncomfortable, they're frelling useless. In the Windstar, you can easily put slim objects beneath the rear bench. Not so on this heap of frell. In GM's infinite wisdom, the rear isn't a bench, but some sort of evil 60/40 split seat side by side, thus making the space beneath useless.
The controls look and feel like the were derived from lego wheels and joints, and are placed terribly. The gear selector descends down and blocks the volume control when in drive. The air conditioning controls are difficult and counter-intuitive. One has to reach below the knobs to turn off the AC or change from vent to recirculate, and you can't see the buttons very well from the driver or front passenger seat. The gauge cluster is boring but adaquate. The turn signal stick does way too many things.
The car handles pretty simliarly to a 1989 Plymouth Voyager. In other words, its frelling awful. The tires have no grip, the suspension is bouncy. I'm not entirely sure if it had shocks or not. Body roll, compared to a Windstar, was startling. The steering gives the driver no real feedback at all.
The drivetrain doesn't have an real flaws. Its boring and loud, but it gets the job done. The 3400 V6 is loud and rough compared to most newer V6s.
If anyone buys one of these things they should be strapped into the driver seat for their stupidity.
To start, the interior in the Pontiac is nothing short of frelling Atrocious. I hate it with the burning fire of a sandpapered herpes sore. By far my biggest issue with the damn thing is the frelling seats, or, more accurately, tourture devices. We had an array of passenger sizes, and no one could be comfortable in them. Lower back support was non existent. Instead of just letting the seat be flat and mildly uncomfortable, GM added a bulge where your shoulders rest, forcing you to mimic a minion of Satan's Horde. Besides the fact that they're completely uncomfortable, they're frelling useless. In the Windstar, you can easily put slim objects beneath the rear bench. Not so on this heap of frell. In GM's infinite wisdom, the rear isn't a bench, but some sort of evil 60/40 split seat side by side, thus making the space beneath useless.
The controls look and feel like the were derived from lego wheels and joints, and are placed terribly. The gear selector descends down and blocks the volume control when in drive. The air conditioning controls are difficult and counter-intuitive. One has to reach below the knobs to turn off the AC or change from vent to recirculate, and you can't see the buttons very well from the driver or front passenger seat. The gauge cluster is boring but adaquate. The turn signal stick does way too many things.
The car handles pretty simliarly to a 1989 Plymouth Voyager. In other words, its frelling awful. The tires have no grip, the suspension is bouncy. I'm not entirely sure if it had shocks or not. Body roll, compared to a Windstar, was startling. The steering gives the driver no real feedback at all.
The drivetrain doesn't have an real flaws. Its boring and loud, but it gets the job done. The 3400 V6 is loud and rough compared to most newer V6s.
If anyone buys one of these things they should be strapped into the driver seat for their stupidity.