A New Day (Nav)

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

Jackson had been broken by his confrontation with Soolin. She had spoken many truth and yet Jackson only responses where in rage to those truths. He was even more lost then the moment he had arrived her at the Jedi order. His thoughts dwelled on leaving the orders walls as he walk through the gardens. Where would he go from here and would he continue with the force.

What about Jacali would she miss him or would he be forgotten. The padawan she once loved but now is forgotten. Yeah that would be his fate doomed to a life of loneliness. His one wish was that he could find a way to stay and continue in his training. He began to mumble to himself.

"where will I go from here?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Well, that is entirely up to you, Padawan." Jackson heard a woman's voice to his right, slightly behind him. When he looked to find out who it was, he saw it was Jedi Knight Navaria Tarkin. She was wearing her usual brown and tan robes and smiling towards him. "Do you happened to be lost? Perhaps I can point you in the right direction."

The question was two folded. Navaria sensed an inner struggle within Jackson. He was fragile and at a crossroads with his Jedi teachings. She did not wish to pry directly into his personal thoughts, but she felt it imperative that she open a dialogue now. It was up to the young Padawan to discuss what was bothering on his own, or take the obvious way out and ask Navaria for directions.

If the later happened, the Knight would make it a point to come to him later in the day to speak with him.

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

He had seen the woman in the halls before but he had really never spoken with her. She seemed inquisitive about where he was heading or was more to about what he was thinking. Dang these Knights and masters could really play with your head Jackson thought to himself.

"I am lost Jedi Knight but I not sure if anyone or anything can point me in the right direction."

He felt compelled to speak, he didn't know why. Perhaps he just need to get things off his chest and out in the open. Maybe he wanted at least some of the order to here his voice. Maybe he was just sick and tired of being the silent one.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Oh?" She walked over to Jackson, looking concerned. "Do you need some help in finding your way?"

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"I need to find out why I'm a Jedi or if I should even be one anymore. If you got an answer I surely listen, I use to think it was all about prove my past false. Its not there has to be something more but I don't know what that something is."

Jackson wasn't really think what he was saying through just blurting it out. Sometimes strangers made the best listeners and could help you with your problems.

[Navaria Tarkin]

She was pleased Jackson took the offered ear that Navaria had given him. "What does a Jedi mean to you? Without ever knowing that, it is hard to say whether or not your place belongs here."

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"A Jedi is a protector of the people. A protector of piece and justice. They keep the peace and ask for no reward in return. That’s what Jedi is but I don't know what makes me a Jedi."

Jackson looked at his feet and shook his head. Soolin was right he wasn't a Jedi he was a pathetic whelp. He deserved no good treatment from anyone not even the Jedi knight Navaria.

'I thought I knew long ago but then it was ripped from me. I came here telling myself this time I wouldn't fail. It seems I have done just that. I'm sorry for crying on your shoulder about my pathetic problems."

[Navaria Tarkin]

Her concern greatened, "What was ripped from you, Jackson, that made you slip away from your path?"

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"My passion my Ideals all ripped apart by my brother and the corrupt soul I tried to tame. Stomped, crushed, obliterated into nothingness. Leaving me the shell of a man I was faithless with no where to turn."

Jackson’s aggression was surprisingly high and didn't seem to care to keep it in check. He certainly wasn't acting like a Jedi of the order of the old republic. He was acting more like a lost child in a mans body then anything else.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Jackson," she replied softly, "I want to understand, but you are speaking too vaguely for me. I can feel the emptiness you speak of and the pain it has caused. I just don't understand what was the true cause besides you mentioning your brother and hinted at what sort of past you led."

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

His was ruff and loud but still none of his aggression was aimed a Nav. He had nothing against the woman that was trying to understand what was going on with him. He calmed down just a little his voice was still loud but a little more controlled.

"I'm sorry it s hard for even me to say. You see ma'am I was Jedi of the old republic or at least I'm the clone of a man who was. He held the beliefs you could fight battles and win wars with out even raising a fist or using the force. He believes the force was privilege and wasn't mint to be a tool or a weapon. It was to aid and enlighten a person to the world around him.

He was a pacifist believing you could talk your way out of confrontation. Then he was manipulated by his brother and torn from the order. Then he attempted to train an assassin to become a pacifist and failed miserably and condemned the man to a death sentence. He fell far, see where his beliefs got him. I can't believe in what he did anymore I refuse to be ripped apart like him. Yet here I am wondering why I'm here and what my beliefs should be. I don't want to fail but it seems I'm on my own path of destruction."

[Navaria Tarkin]

Now here was a situation that Navaria could relate to on some level. She was not a true clone as Jackson was, but Navaria did reside in a clone body. There were enough trials and tribulations that the Knight had to endure that it was a wonder she continued to be mentally sane. There are countless memories that were not her own that it was almost impossible to keep them sorted at times. It was through concentration and control through the Force, that Navaria had a chance to stay sane.

"So," she tried to verbalize the Padawan's dilema,"from what I am hearing, you are uncertain if you should follow the path of the man you are a clone of, or follow in what you believe to be right." The Knight looked at Jackson directly, "Am I correct?"

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"Yeah I he holds me back I guess you could say. All I know is I want to be Jedi but what happened to him failing as Jedi weighs heavily on my mind. What if me and him are so closely the same that I end up walking the same path as him?"

Jackson was still frustrated even though they had pin pointed his thorn. How could a man so stuck on the person he was cloned from ever succeed he wondered and that only lead him further into frustration.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"And so we have it. A quandry that I myself had to struggle with and continue to do so at times." Jackson was obviously confused. How could a Knight such as she comprehend what he was going through. "This body you see before you is a clone, although the person you are talking to is indeed the true Navaria Tarkin. I've spent many nights in meditation to make sure of that but I will tell you this. I have shared memories of my Sith counterpart and sometimes, it was hard to understand if I was just a fragment of her mind, or visa versa. I would wake from nightmares, which were in fact memories, feeling the blood on my hands from numerous deaths that I didn't cause."

She paused, locking her eyes with Jackson's, "But it felt like I was the cause. The memories were defining who I was, even though I was not the creator of them. At that point, there were two ways I could go. One, I could follow in Dalethria's steps, having gone insane from the memories and turn towards the Dark Side. Or, I could understand that I am my own being, clone or no. I have a second chance at life and I can take that life and do whatever I wish it to be."

Navaria folded her arms in front of her and bowed her head lightly, "As you can see, I didn't go insane. Well," she chuckled, "some think I am for dating Sanis."

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"Yeah you make allot of sense Navaria. I am my own person but I got to figure out who that person is."

He had a bit of clarity after listening to Nav, still fragments of confusion and frustration hung. With time they would be destroyed but for now they where still there. Now he needed to know where to begin his journey of finding oneself.

"You got any tips on trying to figure out who you are?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Before I answer that, let me ask you something. What do you like to do, or what is it that you don't like?" She held a hand up before Jackson could respond. "This is a simple question. I am not asking for a 'Jedi like' answer. I want to know what Jackson the person likes to do in his free time."

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"I know what I like that easy enough. I like books, good food, and I hope it’s not to Jedi of an answer but I like sparing. I also like it when no one speaks and you listen to the silence around you its so calming. Just recently there is this girl named Jacali that has peeked my interest to."

Jackson smiled for the first in the conversation at the mention of Jacali. She was part of what had kept him her so far. He stopped and thought on the things he didn't like in the galaxy. His answer where going to be hard.

"I don't like my brother and what he did to the person before me. I don't like a crowd I know that is surprising me being here in this city where crowds are everywhere. I don't like the fact that I broke because like this and snapped because of what one Jedi said. I hope that good enough an answer."

[Navaria Tarkin]

There was a twinkle in her eye when she spoke, "I think you're off to a good start in finding out who you are Jackson. It will still take some time to sort it all out, but at least you have a place to begin. You just need to take hold of what you know and go from there."

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"Well I know where I should start but I need to find someone willing enough and patient enough to help me."

His statement was aimed towards nav and he hoped she got what he was talking about. He needed a master and at this point the best option was the stranger helping him. She was the best candidate thus far and he wondered why he never noticed her before.

"What 'm meaning is if I'm going to continue in the force I'm going to need someone to teach me."

[Navaria Tarkin]

As Jackson thought, Navaria was indeed no fool, "Are you asking me to train you?"

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"Well you have helped me thus far?"

Jackson shrugged his shoulders and let come to his lips for the first time in a long time. It felt good to say the least and asking nav to be his master felt right. He barely knew the woman but that would change if she accepted him.

"Why mess with success? I mean we only met and I'm guessing you will probably want time to think about it. I just think it feels right to ask you. So will you train me?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

She considered Jackson's request. Azhure had recently left the Order for personal reasons, leaving Navaria with only one Padawan.

"Are you certain?" She questioned. Yes, Jackson seemed adament about this but the Knight wanted to make certain that this was his path.

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"Yes I'm very certain, there isn't an unsure bone in body."

He looked at her hoping there was a sign that she would accept. He wanted a master bad and she was the best candidate thus far, yet he could tell what her answer would be.

[Navaria Tarkin]

She picked up on something. Jackson didn't show it, but he was on edge waiting for her answer. "This means that much to you?"

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"Of course it does!"

She was hesitating in her answer, was she trying to soften the blow for the answer no. He hoped it wasn't that, he didn't want it to be that. Where would he go if it was No?

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Jackson," she looked at him with concern, "You need to calm yourself. I was worried, and that was why I asked if this was what you wanted. Your a bundle of emotions, and I can't help but to pick up on it."

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"I'm sorry I was just hoping for a straight answer Yes or no."

Jackson spoke as calm as possible for he thought for sure without a doubt her answer was no. He didn't want the blow soften he just wanted the answer.

"If its no then tell me so, so I can get on my way looking for some one who might actually be willing."

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Not all questions have straight answers in this galaxy. I was making sure you were committed to me, as I will be to you."

[imported_Jackson Mcgraves]

"I'm sorry again I'm just frustrated. I will be committed to you and to learning the ways of the force. I will just need a bit a of guidance I hope you can help with that?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Of course." Now the Knight felt better about her decision. Still, it would be difficult. So many wanted to learn the Jedi ways but all were either angry or frustrated at their lives. The Dark Side seemed so prevelant as of late. "You'll find that I'm quite the patient person. Long as you are willing to learn and listen to my advice when I give it."