Nature Quest

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Trilith was everything Padawan learner Quay'Na Rakai had hoped for and more. Everything was lush and green, forests, meadows, brooks...it was truly beautiful.

It had been over a year since she'd been to a system that thrived in the nature that she longed for.

It had been a couple of days since their arrival and Quay was more than ready to go exploring for a bit. She awakened much earlier than the rest of the group and was dressed and ready to go within a few minutes, leaving a note for her master.

The crisp, gentle breeze that blew through her aubrun, shoulder-length hair, calmed her senses as she took in a deep breath. It was scented with the essence of Jasmyn, a sweet wild flower tha she adored. The sun was slowly rising as she placed the water bottle strap over her shoulder.

The Padawan no longer wore Jedi attire, but sported a pair of kacky cargo pants, tan tunic and a pair of worn, brown hiking boots.

The feeling of nature surrounded her, it was refreshing as she began to trek towards a brook she heard babbling nearby. Her senses were picking up on everything, small animals that ran amongst the foliage, birds in the trees. She could hear their whispers as she walked.

The Lost Padawan stopped by the brook and watched the water flow peacefully downstream. A few fish jumped, making her laugh as she heard them say 'hello'.

She didn't go any further for the time being, merely sat along the brook and felt her mind dip into the deep reaches of the Force. The animal kingdom was her domain and she loved it.

[Marcus Telcontar]

Someone had been up even earlier. Well before dawn, a set of old boots had stepped out of Castle Trilith, the huge structure that was the only surviving evidence this planet was ever lived on permantly. Through the forests and into the garden like valley below the castle, the owner of those boots had gone. Old clothes matched the boots, an old cloak to keep the initial early morning chill off. A knife was on his belt and in this day of blasters and rail guns, he had a bow. A quiver held his arrws, of which one he took out, slowly, carefully, so as no to disturb his quarry. He bent down slowly to one knee, nocked the arrow to the string, then slowly pulled back until the fletching touched his cheek. Just as the sun began to be visible, the grazing animal didnt hear the whine of the arrow being fired and never even knew it was dead.

Marcus Elessar got up from his crouch as the animal fell. Quick, silent. And a good shot over the range, without any Force help. He prided himself on not relying on The Force and in the Hunt, it was a cheat to even consider using Jedi powers. It was all about your skill in tracking, chasing and shooting.

It would be a good dinner tonight.

--

He headed back along the way of a stream that he knew well. Many of these paths he had scouted along years ago when he first came here and witht he ability he had with tracking, it was no hard matter to remember where they went. Otherwise, you could easily get lost in this place. In some places, the track moved out into the stream, not deep, but enough to go calf high. A small clearing was a good palce to rest, for the carcass was heavy and it had been a long walk. He could see where the path began to acend up to Castle Trith and he knew from experience, it was not an easy path with a load.

PLus, his cloak was making him sweat.

He put the carcass down, stretched his aching back. Marcus knew that the water here was good to drink, so he knelt down to take a drink.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na opened her eyes from a meditation trance. She felt the quick and swiftness of death within the animal kingdom and sighed. It wasn't like she knew it couldn't be done, but she just never liked the feeling.

The Padawan also felt something else a strong mark in the Force, one with power. Her Master.

She stood and looked down the brook and saw him getting a drink. "Good morning, Master. You're out awfully early." She said with a smile as she stretched and yawned.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Hmm?" He said, a bit surprised. He hadn't spotted the woman siting there, mainly because he just plain wasnt expecting anyone and also, this was the safest place in the Galaxy. No need to be conncted to the Force. In some ways, he preferred not to be and pretend to be a Ranger in all the true sense of the word.

"Early? No, not really - it's quite normal for me to go greet the sunrise here. It's something about the air or the security I feel. As well, dinner isn't going to wish itself onto the plates tonight - there's many more mouths here to feed than normal. Usually, it's just myself or a guest"

He glanced at the track leadign back up out of the valley and thought a bit more rest would be in order. He took off his cloak, then took a seat next to Quay, placing his bow next to himself.

"What drew you out here?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"Everything around me, Master. I've forgotten how a system feels when it's only roamed with nature. My Force sensitivity is so abundant here with all the energy of nature. I can hear everything, the trees blowing in the breeze, leaves rustling, whispering of all the animals. It's quite amazing."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"I know what you feel" he said quietly. "I think that this is the place that has the strongest connection to Teh Force I have ever been to. It's so strong, I know Sith that have been here in the past have been weakened by it. They used to have a base here, in the castle in fact. The Jedi lead by myself sent them running. I came back here about a year later and discovered how wonderous it was and made a home away from home in a mud hut, not far away. Later, after Turbogeek and Lady Mara Jade died and left Jina in my care, I took the castle and claimed it for my own. Since then, I've erased the planet's co-ordinates from the Galatic databases. Of all the places, we are free from pursuit and we can allow our wounds heal in peace"

Plus....

"I also have much to think about. Trilith is a place I can do that, clearly. I have family to think of now and last week changed my plans greatly. I have never been happier, I think. To see Helenias with Arwen is a joy like none I've ever known"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"It's nice to know that we can roam here freely and not have to worry about anyone trying to kill us." She nodded and after a few minutes of thought she added. "You're a very lucky man. You have your wife and child with you now. Perhaps, one day I'll find that kind of peace as well. To be with my husband and see his face every evening..." She trailed off, knowing that would be far off. But, that was the just the way things were and she'd just have to get used to it.

"No doubt this place will help us all recover and it will give me a chance to know everyone. I feel kinda out of place right now."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"When I left here last, I thought my wife would be lost - I had no idea about Arwen. Look waht's happened and how i've returned. The Force ahs ways to make things happen in ways we dont understand Quay - and the lesson is never give up hope. I cant see the future like Helenias can, and even then, she knows that the future is always in motion. What you do now changes it. Like..."

He paused for a moment, for he had decided to feel the force, to feel it's flow and example something of the birds in the trees. The close proximity and the way The Force showed up life made his Padawan's effect on the force crystal clear - and because it was on his mind, he sensed it. Somethign else. As it wasnt what he expected, he examined it closer, before deciding his original thought was correct.

"..like what you did with Anthony. Did your former Master inspire you?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

That was puzzling. What did he mean by that? Quay gave him a questionable look. "What I did with Anthony?' Inspired her? She was completely lost for the moment. "What are you talking about, my marriage?"

[Marcus Telcontar]

Crap, she doesn't know?!?!

Then again, Helenias had told him last night about the fierce denial she had been in until forced to face the facts. The signs had been clear, but she had refused to accept them. was that the same for Qauy?

"No, your pregnancy" he said. "I can sense there is a second presence, a small one within you. I could be wrong, but..."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

My pregnancy?!?!

For a second, it felt as all the air had escaped her, she couldn't breath. A look of pure shock came over her features and her face paled. Quay felt sick.

She'd only been married for a month...to a vampire.
Vampires were of the undead, they couldn't conceive! The two newly weds had already discussed it that when it was time for them to bare a child, Quay would have her surgery and have invitro from Anthony's saved collection.

She shook her head as a tear rolled down her cheek, it only meant one thing...it had happened that night, two months ago.

The rape...

"No," she whispered as she put her hand to her mouth and another tear rolled down her cheek. "Oh God, this can't be happening."

There was only one way for her to know, she had put up so many blocks, Quay'Na had never felt it.

Resting her hand on her abdomen, The Padawan closed her eyes and reached into the Force. She released all her barriers....and felt the presence for the first time.

She gasped. "Oh, my God." It was true, she was pregnant.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Oh dear. Ummm, you prefer to be alone for a bit?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

The initial shock had passed and now she just sat there for a few moments. "I'm sorry, Master." She told him, numbly.

God, why was this happening now? She had just met this man and now this?

"This isn't good, Master. It's not good at all." She was near tears again and blinked them back. "I...I need some time alone." The Padawan stood, she was devastated.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"That's allright, I understand"

Actually, he didnt at all, but for now he was prepared to let it slide.

"If you want my advise, there's a garden near the castle that's good for being alone in. It's peaceful and the flowers do smell good" He stood up, picking up the carcass.

"Dont wander too far, it's too easy to get lost"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

The Padawan nodded. "I'll go to the garden, Master." She numbly walked away and found the place that he had instructed, it was beautiful and at any other time, she would've really enjoyed it, but....

She sighed deeply and knelt onto the ground. The secret that she had hoped to remain sealed away was going to blow her marriage out of the sky. Anthony will never forgive this.

More tears fell as she sat down, hugged her knees and cried. How could everything suddenly go so wrong, when it had been going so right?

Quay cried until she was emotionally spent. The sun was getting warmer and warmer as the hours passed by. Her master would be returning she was sure and he'd want to know what was going on.

The sad thing was that she always wanted a baby, but not this way. She pulled out the blade her father, Jerib had given her. So, easy it would be to end this pregnancy. So, damn easy!

Her lower lip trembled and with a battle cry, she threw the blade, sticking it into a nearby tree.

[Marcus Telcontar]

The garden Marcus had pointed out to her, up near Castle Trilith, was the place Xazor had met the frightening apparition, which revealed much about the past of the man she called Father. Here, there was two small plaques to commemorate the passing of two once great Jedi. Right on this spot, Lady Mara Jade had died.

And right on that spot, sliently, without warning or fanfare, the atmosphere began to glow as a human male appeared. He was what most would call a ghost, a handsome, youngish man, dark haiar and dark eyes, dressed in a tight leather fighting suit. He was taller and seemed to be somewhat bulkier than Marcus too - his eyes were without the weight of the years too.

"I dont mean to bother you, but who are you and why are you here and who are you?"

The voice was rather ligth and plesant too very friendly in tone.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

The Padawan was rather shocked to hear the voice and looked up quickly, she had expected her master. But, it definitely wasn't him, by any means. Where'd he come from? Afterall, she didn't even hear him approach.

"I'm...I'm Quay'Na Rakai-Scott." She answered and wiped the rest of the remnants of tears away. She truly wondered just how much longer she would carry his name, but shook it off.

"My master sent me here, in hopes that I would have a place to think. I'm sorry, if I have disturbed you, Sir."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Disturbed?" He laughed, "You can't disturb me. I'm dead. I've been dead for nearly five years. I'm not much more than you see me, an apparition, an echo of who I was. My name once was Anasta Turbogee, if I recall correctly. Some called me Turbogeek for short. I'm sure it amused them"

Introductions over, the being took a seat.

"Came here to think, did you? Aye, those who arrive on this planet tend to come here to do that. A graveyard tends to do that. Oh, your standing on the remains of Lady Mara Jade. She died here. I think you came here with her daughter... our daughter. So... what are you, Quay Na' Rakai-Scott and who did you come with? And what are you thinking about?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

She was sitting on a grave?!? Eeks!! Quay moved quickly a second later. "Sorry, didn't mean any disrespect."

An apparition, now that was something. But, then why not? Master Ira had returned to her to get her back on track a long while back. So, what was the difference?

Turbogeek...as in Darth Turbogeek... It had to be, she remembered her former master telling her about him.

Quay nodded, "Yes, I've heard of your name, Sir." She paused for a second. "I am the newest member of the Lost Jedi, that is who I came here with. As far as what I was thinking...I'm in a horrible mess with my marriage and unfortunately, there is not a thing that can be done about it."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Lost Jedi?" he asked. "This I have not heard of when I was alive. Who are these Lost and who leads them?"

"Maybe it is appropriate yu came here afterall" he added. "I died because of a similar mess"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

That was comforting, she didn't really want to die.

Quay sighed. "Marcus Elessar is my master. He is the leader of them, the Lost is...in my opinion the grey area between the Lightside Jedi and the Darksiders."

Quay'Na had begun to wonder if this were truly happening, talking to an appartition? If not, she was going crazy.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Marcus Elessar?!?! You have fallen in with him?????? Allow me to tell you, there is no grey area you are in, if you are with Elessar. His hatred of evil knows no bounds. Yes, I know of him - in fact, in some ways, I was him. I was his clone. Elessar is a good deal more anicent than he knows and is not human... nor even really a being like you are or I was. What you see there with him is a creation unlike any other. Yeas, creation, not much unlike how I was. Except, instead of being drawn from blood and DNA, he was created out of nano-technology. He is a bio-engineered being that escaped his creator's control. I was created to try to bring him to heel. As you can see, I failed, but my task was unecessary"

"So, do you want to hear me crap on about your Master, or would you rather chat about your problem? It's abouit your pregnancy, isn't it. Dont worry, I am One with The Force, not much can escape me anymore. Many truths hidden from those who live in the physical plane are not so hidden from me"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na didn't really care what this apparitiion said that her master was. He was her Master and that was all she needed to know, she would very well die for him if need be. Just as she would've died for Master Helenias.

She sighed tiredly. "Yes...it's the pregnancy. It's not my husband's child..." Another tear escaped her as she thought of the look on his face when she told him.

"It was conceived through a vicious, horrid act that I was powerless to stop."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"So.... how's it your fault then?If your husband truly loves you, you think he will abandn you over an act that you could not prevent?If your love is true, I think this may well bind you together stonger, for it is this type of challenge that brings who are truly soul mates together"

"Or something like that"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"I never told him about it, I was too ashamed and that was two months ago and now...." The Padawan paused.

"And now, I'm pregnant and I know for a fact, it's not his."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"And now you need to tell him. You oe it to him and the child you carry. tell him the truth. Know he will be upset... but.... then again he may well accept and know this was no betrayal and knows you need him"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay couldn't believe that she was talking to this apparition like it was a common everyday thing. But, deep down it was his words she needed to hear.

The Padawan as of lately had no trouble with being strong in life-threatening situations, her mind worked with ease. But, this personal thing had crumpled her quickly, but with Turbogeek's mindful words and caringness to help her. The depth of the situation was beginning to lift.

It was strange how some of the simplest words could ease teh pressure and pain of a deep wound.

Quay took a deep breath, she knew she had to tell him and she would. This would indeed test their marriage and if he stayed, he truly loved her.

"You're right." She finally told him. "I do need to tell him. At my first thought on this, telling him was going to send him into a tailspin, it did me but now....maybe not."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"That is good to hear. Tell Jina her mother and I still love her"

And abrupty, Turbogeek vanished.

A few minutes later, a fdifferent presence could be flet. It was Marcus and he was searching for quay, now rather concerned at her absence. To his surprise, he found her right at the gravesite of the two Jedi who remains were here.

:: Odd... ::

"You look like you've seen a ghost" he said, coming into the clearing. "Are you feeling better now? I was beginning to wrry you might have wandered off"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

At her Master's comment, she smiled, yes...she actually smiled and nodded. "Yes, Master, I'm feeling much better now. You were right, this is a great place to come when you need to think."

She stood. "I'm sorry, I worried you. It was a lot to take in, but I'm alright with it now." She was. Her converstation with the apparitition had calmed her, brought her back a sense of peace.

Quay looked over at the blade that now stuck deeply in that tree and quickly fetched it.

"I'm about two months along. Not exactly perfect timing, but nothing much can change that now."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"No, I guess not.." he said, frowning. "I... sense someone. There shouldn't be, but I could have sworn I felt the presence of someone here with you as I approached"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay smiled again. "That you did, Master. There was another here, but only in spirit. I would've thought it was crazy had I not had it happen to me once before in the GJO. I was speaking to...Turbogeek, he came to me through the darkness I felt in this pregnancy. He helped me to see the light of things."

Now, she waited to see if he thought she was totally loosing it.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"You actually saw him????? By the Force, only Jina ever claimed that. She sees her mother and father at times - for that's who is here in this garden. It was her parents that died here. This really is somethign to take notice of. What did he say to you?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"He calmed my heart and my mind of this pregnancy and told me that I needed to tell my husband the truth." She didn't even wait for him to answer. "The truth being that this child was not conceived with him..." She paused for a second.

"True conception of this child was through...a rape, two months ago." Quay told him quietly.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"I see" He said evenly. "Well. This was not expected. Do you want to talk about it?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay bit her lip as she bent down and picked a small flower holding it between her thumb and forefinger. "I didn't want anyone to know." She told him. "This kinda thing isn't supposed to happen to a Jedi. We're supposed to be strong in the most desperate situations, but I couldn't fight back. He drugged my drink in the B&G, I was gone for just a few minutes. But, it had been long enough."

Those emotions started in and she pushed them away. Quay'Na paused and took a deep breath. "I started feeling really sick, so I decided to head back to the Temple and this guy told me he'd make sure I made it back alright. We were only outside a few minutes and I got viciously sick. I don't remember much after that, until I awakened."

"He...he had already violated me once before I was even was awake, he made sure he mocked me about it." A piercing bite had come into her voice as she shook her head and looked away.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Quay" he said, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Dont ever kid yourself about the strength of a Jedi or preventing things that happen to ordinary people. We are not above events and situations. Do you see the grave sites here? Two Jedi died because they thought themselves above simple things. The whole point of the Lost is not that I see the Force differently, but it accepts that we Jedi are not superhumans, but we have hate, anger, love and real emotions. You and I, we are not droids! We're not meant to be!The Jedi are kidding themselves if beings can become something they are not. You see, it's about control. And it is not your fault. Accept that. Oh, I'm sure you think what could you have done to prevent it... but could you? Did you know or suspect such a thing can happen in the Bar and Grill? I would not have expected and even I can be beaten by something new or unexpected. The feeling you feel is exactly what he wants you to feel. He wanted to destroy your life"

Marcus removed his hand, then pointed outwards.

"The challenge and mark of a being is not how they avoid situations, but how they deal with them when they occur. This may be wrong, for I am not in your situation and nor do I know how you feel, but I would be standign tall and showing how this scum that you can not be bowed. Granted, I'ld also be out to destroy his life and just when it all comes crashing down, castrate him with a blunt knife and then do so much damage to his legs that they cant be repaired or amuptated - but that's the vindictive and decidedly un-jedi side to me"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

As he spoke another tear slipped down her cheek at which she wiped away. But, as he continued, she began to understand what he was saying. Yes, she had felt destroyed, crushed and unable to breath.

A smile came to her lips as Marcus continued about casterating the scum and doing damage to his legs, that thought had never occured to her, but then she was in the Order. One wasn't supposed to feel these things.

"I completely blocked out the situation. I placed so many barriers up, that if was like it never happened consciously, but my subconsciousness kept it right there. It's strange how the mind works. My sister found out about it the next morning, when she found me huddled outside her door. I don't know how I got there, or even why I went. Two weeks later, three of my other friends found out after I became very ill and the doctor gave me some kind of shot with a mind relaxer."

She looked down at the flower and twirled it between her fingers. "But, I couldn't tell Anthony, I was too ashamed and now...I'm pregnant. I wonder, if my marriage will survive this, I really do."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"That, is something that you have to chance. Would you rather he found out by sensing, as I did? what are you going to say then? No, you have to come forward and say it and say it now. You have to tell him the truth. Anything else WILL destroy your marrige. To say somethign now and say the truth... I believe he may well understand"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na knew he was right, she did have to tell her husband. She owed him that much and if their marriage was meant to be as she believed, he would be there for her.

"When we get back to Coruscant, I shall tell him." She sighed deeply. "It'll be the hardest thing I think I'll ever have to do, Master."

The Padawan had been so caught up in how Anthony was going to feel about it, that she didn't even give thought to her own feelings.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"No..... it will not" he said, turning away to go back to the castle. "The hardest thing you will have to do is learn to love the child you have and rear it. You are the one that has to be responsible for it and there is no turning away from that. You will have your resposibilities as a Jedi... but you will also have those of a mother. Dinner will be served int he main dining hall when you are ready"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na nodded. "I'll be up in a bit, Master." She answered as she placed her hand on her abdomen. She felt the presence tingle there, through the Force. You are my child, you are part of me. It doesn't matter who the father is. You are of me.

Quay'Na loved children, she always had and she had always looked forward to having her own. But, there were so many mixed emotions with this one and that was if she could even carry it to term.

The Padawan would have to go get checked out when she returned, for her womb may not even be strong enough to withstand the growth of a child on it's own, without the surgery she was supposed to have.

She calmed her questions and brought herself back to a sense of peace, there was no since in worrying about things that couldn't be changed.

With a deep breath, Quay made her way back to the castle and found her way to the dining hall and walked in. She forced a smiled on her face and entered.

[Jina Jade-Elessar]

"AUNTY QUAY!!!"

A small red haired tornado hit the Padawan in what was an attempted crash tackle. The young girl, all of 6 years, ran headlong at Quay, grabbing her around the legs

"Guess what Aunty? I got to hold Arwen today! daddy told me I was all small like Arwen is once too! Were you small like Arwen is too? Have you got baby too?"

At the other end of the hall, the bearded and scruffy man who was cutting up the dinner for serving looked up, agape. No one else was in the dining hall, so they hadn't heard Jina stick her foot right in it.

"Jina, you can let Quay go now". Jina did so without question. "i didnt tell you Quay had a baby... had did you know?"

Jina however had gone shy, blushing a bit, but grinning. "She got Mummy germs! Stikky told me and I can see germ too!"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

The forced smile turned genuine after only a moment of entering the dining hall and being tackled by Jina.

The child was talking so fast that, Quay didn't even have a chance to answer before she said something about her baby.

Quay was rather astrounded for a moment. "You can see my baby?" Was it that obvious? She cursed herself for allowing it to show.

Quickly, Quay returned the barriers and gave Marcus a worried look. She didn't want anyone else to know, not yet. Not until she told Anthony.

The Padawan turned back to the child and knelt down in front of her. "Jina, sweetie. This baby is a surprise for someone very special. Can you keep it a secret for me, until he knows?" She asked gently with a smile.

[Marcus Telcontar]

at the other end of the table, Marcus turned to see the hurricane AKA Jina and raised an eyebrow at her words.

"It's not obvious Quay, Jina's not just your ordinary child. Her ability in the force to sense is well above normal. She can see and feel things in the here and now I frankly can't. Her danger sense is well developed already. I think it's much to do with being on the run for so long with the scum of the galaxy - like me"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na gave her Master an amused look. "Scum? Hardly, I think." She said as she stood and gave a relieved sigh. The Padawan looked down at the child and smiled. "In that case, you must sense that I love children as well?" And the Padawan did, though the child she was carrying, was still a concern and probably would be for some time.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"So sure I'm not one of the bad guys? Only just met me you have. How can you be sure?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"I'm not too sure about anything at this moment, but if you are.... You are my master and so be it, I guess I'm going to be bad too." She replied half-joking, half serious. What a turn of events had befallen on her.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"never trust my judgement, just because I happen to be your Master. I have been known to be wrong. Always examine your own feelings and ask yourself what should be done. When in doubt.... ask yourself again. Only act when it is clear what your motive is and you act with the right intentions"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na nodded respectfully. "Yes, Master. I understand." her mind edged back to an opportunity of her telling Anthony the truth. Would her mind ever be clear on this situation, she really didn't know.

Quay'Na walked over to her master and took a seat, while she watched him cut up the meat for dinner. Her stomach was empty while her mind was full, what a combination.

"Is there anything I can do to help, Master?" She finally asked.