Anything goes (closed)

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Ssshhhh!"

Finger to her lips, the woman crouched low as she glared drunken daggers at her two accomplices.

"If you guys don't shut up now I'll... well... um... I'ma do something mean... "

A pause as she stared at the two. "Remember what the Big Giant Head said, ok?"




::earlier that evening::




They were in a booth, all three of them; so far four pitchers of whatever had been on tap had been put away, and the fifth was just being set down. Leaning against Pointy-Ears (she now knew his name was Adjerban, but Pointy-Ears had just kinda stuck for her), s'Il sent a lazy stare to the man sitting across from her - Darren Caerdeth.

"So, wait a minute - are you saying she just jumped you? Right there in the bar?"

s'Il took a drink from her newly refilled glass. "That sure doesn't sound like Hera to me."

[Darren Caerdeth]

"Well, what can I say? Some guys have it, some dont..."

Three pitchers down, the next sitting in front of them. Drinking was fun, even if it didnt affect Darren the least. He could just pretend to be drunk, and that usually worked pretty well.

"It happens to me a lot. After awhile, you just get used to it."

[Adjerban the Interloper]

I snickered.

"Yeah, you've got such a magnetic personality, Darren." I took another sip of beer between laughs.

"You walk around outside and have speeders crash into you. Animal magnetism too. Once he had a pile of rats on him. Me, scott free in the sewers, but Darren was the damn savior of rats! LEAD US TO FREEEE-DOM!" I downed the rest of my mug, which had been half empty. Beer mugs are always half empty instead of half full. No, its not pessimism speaking, just merely the fact that there is always room for more beer.

See, this Darren guy, he's a vampire. I haven't met many vampires, but from what he tells me, they're a bunch of stuffed shirts. Completley not my crowd. Or his. But it also means the poor SOB can't get wasted. It also means he can feed those of us who are wasted terrible, dangerous ideas.

Its one of the many reasons I love Darren like a brother.

Now s'Il is a lass with a great <smallfont color=#FF0000>-Censored-</smallfont>. Now while accusing me of being a pessimist isn't valid, I am a total pig without shame. She also turns into some crazy, wild animal. I bet she's a wild animal in bed, but I haven't been able to crack her yet. I'm workin on that. She keeps her head remarkably well when trashed... except for terrible ideas that are fun. Her definition of fun often includes getting shot at.

I, on the other hand, would prefer to be drunk and having absurd amounts of sex. I prefer not to get shot at, but somehow, she makes it seem fun. This woman may very well be the death of me.

"Who's this Hera person?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Before Darren could even get a word in edgewise, s'Il was already opening her mouth.

"One of my old contacts from way back - pulled a few jobs together, same old same old. She's not as loose as D here says though - " another drink, "Until I hear it from her mouth, then I'll believe it."

The Lupine looked away then, still continuing to lean against Pointy-Ears but at the same time flagging down a server droid. "Can we get some beernuts over here? And how about some peppers or something?"

[Darren Caerdeth]

As soon as S'Il turned her head, Darren began silent communication with Adjerban. While he had absolutely no training in sign language, the language he was speaking now was universal among men.

Slight shift of the head toward s'Il.
(Look at her)

Palms facing toward him at a 45 degree angle, as if he were holding two bowling balls against his chest.
(I like her personality)

Fists clenched, elbows bent at 90 degree angles, arms at his sides moving back and forth.
(I would much like to do things with her)

As S'Il turned her attention back to the table, Darren immediatelly ceased silent communication, and smiled brightly, and innocently, to cover his trail.

"Sure, you can ask her, she'll probab........Look at that!"

With his jaw dropped, and eyes as big as saucers, Darren slowly pointed to a nearby table...

[Adjerban the Interloper]

Darren didn't have a habbit of stating the obvious. For a Vampire, he either had managed to retain his libido or pretended exceptionally well. Since I was decently sloshed, I had to make up my mind as to whether he was playing or not.

I lifted my nose up from s'Il's hair (which smelled fantastic) and turned my head.

"Good gaping Maw." One of my eyes expanded open so wide it threatend to swallow the light in the room.

Before us was a man with a head.

I mean, JUST A HEAD. Sure, he had a body, but it was a pathetic afterthought. It only existed as a means for the head to get from point A to point B. The head alone had to weigh fifteen kilos.

"You see?" I pointed as subtly as someone drunk off his gourd could.

Darren nodded.

"Ok. I am only drunk, and this is not a dream." s'Il was similiarly transfixed. After all, we had a freak of nature sitting on our doorstep. That might be a little hypocritical. No.

Exibit a - Vampire, sure. Bloodsucker. Terrified of light. Exibit b - Lupine. Turns into grumpy doggy. Smells wonderful otherwise. Exibit c - me. Long pointy ears. Sarcastic. Wakes up in different parts of the galaxy on any given day. We're frelling normal compared to this guy.

He needed a name. I took a swig of beer, and returned the mug more forcefully than I intended.

"I DUB THE... THE HEAD!"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

It was huge. Not just any huge, this thing was HUGE. and of course Darren had been the first to see it - Lord God almighty he'll probably gloat over it for the rest of the night, just to say he saw something before she did. She wouldn't put it past the man in any case.

She'd felt Pointy-Ears' nose in her hair only seconds earlier, and reciprocated with a playful jab to his side before turning her attentions back to the head. Hell, thats all the guy was!! Just a head!

"It's like... the big giant head... "

One arm had been lazily draped over Adjerban's shoulders, and as if in a trance, the Lupine moved, slowly and carefully bringing her arm across and out from around his back, to reach out to the newly placed bowl of beernuts, slim fingers nimbly picking one out.

She took aim - a feat in and of itself given her lack of sobriety, and with a quick motion tossed the nut, watching as it flew towards the head as if in slow motion...

[Darren Caerdeth]

At first Darren thought to stop her. It wasnt every day that you saw something like this. In fact, you'd have a better chance of seeing Bigfoot crapping on your lawn while reading Weekly World News then seeing a man with a head of these proportions, and s'Il was willing to risk it all by hitting it with a beernut.

Of course, with that train of thought, it all made sense, and Darren did nothing but watch the nut arch through the air and connect perfectly with the Big Giant Head's cheek.

The table fell silent now, hoping, no praying that the Head wouldnt bolt in fear from the offending projectile. And of course, luck was with them, as he looked around slightly confused, then went back to his drink.

".........I bet I can ring its ear."

And Darren went for a nut of his own...

[Adjerban the Interloper]

"Duh. Vamp, plus sober, equals accuracy. You aren't impress..."

Darren let fly, and the beer nut nestled into his ear without falling out.

"I sit corrected. Goddamn." I fived him under the table. Briefly, I considered following suit and making it a barrage, but the shotgun approach wouldn't be apreciated by many of the other patrons, and the beer has been really good so far. Beer, essence of life, nectar of the gods etc.

The head swivled on its neck-accessory, scanning for the perps. We would be the purps. My mind would be in s'Il's pants.

I smiled and waved. Hell, worst case scenario, no beer.

That was a pretty bad scenario.

"Whatever happens, grab the pitcher, ok?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The Lupine wrapped protective arms around the pitcher sitting in front of her. Pointy-Ears was right - the beer would have to be protected at all costs, and she knew that she was the one who had to do it.

"Um, Dare? Adjer?" her voice dropped to a whisper as she felt the big giant head's eyes lock with hers, and she scootched back a little, almost up into Pointy-Ears' lap. "... he's looking at me... "

[Darren Caerdeth]

"Can't really blame the guy..."

Darren said, before snapping back to reality for a moment..

"I mean, I'll protect you if he comes over here.." After all, she was holding the beer. Of course, now that the trio had gotten the attention of the big giant head, Darren knew that it was up to him to protect them, being as how he was much smarter than the others.

With a quick, confused glance at the table around him, Darren jerked a thumb over to the table beside them, thus hoping to remove all blame from himself and his compatriots.

[Adjerban the Interloper]

"If you try to take the beer... we'll kill you." I didn't mean to say it out loud, but you know, you get completely smashed, and the clutch between the mouth and the brain is always engaged. Makes for nasty stallouts.

The good part is that I was really too drunk to care. I mean, the guy is only a head with a body accessory. I doubt he would have been able to manage anything on us.

I wrapped a hand around s'Il's middle, securing her, I think. I dunno, but she was nice and warm and smelled like beer.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Still holding the beer pitcher like a mother holding her child, s'Il let Pointy-Ears wrap his arm around her stomach. What would happen next she didn't know, but what she did know, was that the beer wasn't going to be hurt.

Entranced, she watched the big giant head as it watched her, and timidly, she offered a nervous smile.

And damned if it didn't smile back at her...

[Darren Caerdeth]

"Hey look, it likes us!"

Was Darren's cheerful response. Of course, Darren's first thought was to treat the Big Giant Head to more airborne beernuts. And damned if he didnt pluck another nut from the pile, letting it fly, connecting with the Big Giant head's cheek.

"We who are about to die salute you!" Exclamated further with another beernut.

[Adjerban the Interloper]

I didn't know what the Giant Head was going to do. Bizzare and whatnot. Screwit. I didn't have time for it. I'd wake up somewhere else any time now. s'Il was a fun girl. I wanted to have fun with her, the in her pants kind.

She smelled good. I nuzzled her.

"Hey..." I trailed off, getting lost in her blonde hair.

"Hey." I said, trying to gather what little wits I had. "Lets take the beer and go upstairs."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The Lupine shifted her position to look at Adjerban's face, the big giant head forgotten completely for the moment.

"Upstairs?"

A brief moment of mild confusion crossed her features as she stared at him, then a knowing grin. She knew what he was up to - ever since the two had taken a shower together after the incident at Nasha the Hutt's (she'd been too tired and grumpy to argue with him over the whole matter and simply let him get in with her), he'd seemed to make it somewhat of a mission to try and spend 'quality' time with her underwear.

Joke was on him though, cause she hardly ever wore - hey, wait a second...

"You can't fool me," s'Il began triumphantly; if not drunkenly, "I know what you're up to - you just want me to nibble on your - HEY!!!"

Whipping around, she brought a hand up to the back of her head which had just been the target of a beernut. One look at the big giant head said it all, and s'Il relinquished her deathgrip on the pitcher in favor of attempting to scramble from her seat to teach that huge noggin a lesson.

[Lady Vader]

OOC: Lady and gents... as amusing as this thread is to read, I am curious about something: I'm just wondering why it is you are posting in a Sith only forum (yes, I realize the forum description does not say that, but most people that are not of Sith or TSO origin avoid the forum because of it's name as it entales you are within the Sith grounds).

I just wanted to know who, if any, gave you permission and when. :)

[Darren Caerdeth]

"Be careful! I bet he's got a mean headbutt." Was Darren's response. Of course, he wasn't about to let anything happen to s'Il, but odds were, the big giant head, wasnt much in a fair fight. In the event, however, that s'Il might get in trouble, Darren was ready to rush to her side with the speed and balance of a completely sober individual, as opposed to the drunken stagger Adjerban would have to use. haha.