Jared Mriad
Feb 12th, 2004, 06:52:48 PM
This is the chopped version, mainly because I couldn't remember the full thing. I got a kicker out of this one.
See the man. What a funny man. His name is Hamlet. He is a prince. He is sad. Why are you sad, Hamlet?
"I am sad for my father has died" says Hamlet. "My father was the king."
Where are you going, Hamlet.
On the way he meets a ghost. "Where are you going?" asks the ghost.
"I am going to the castle." says Hamlet
"Boo,Boo" says the ghost.
"What is your name, you silly ghost?" asks Hamlet clapping his hands.
"I am your father," says the ghost. " I was a good king. Uncle claudius is a bad king. He gave me poison. Would you like poison?"
"Oh, no," says Hamlet. "I would not like poison."
"will you avenge me, Hamlet?" says the ghost.
"Oh, yes," says Hamlet. "I will avenge you. What fun it will be to avenge you."
On the way he meets a girl.
"Where are you going?" asks the girl.
"I am going to the castle," says Hamlet.
"Ha, ha," says the girl.
"What is your name?" asks Hamlet.
"My name is Ophelia," says the girl.
"Why are you laughing?" asks Hamlet. "You are a silly goose."
"I laugh because you are so funny,"says Ophelia." I laugh because you are schizophrenic. Are you schizophrenic?"
"I am not schizophrenic," says Hamlet, laughing and clapping his hands.
"I pretended I am a schizophrenic. I pretend, for what to fool my uncle. What fun it is to pretend that I am a schizophrenic.
see Hamlet run. Run, Hamlet, run.
He is going to his mother's room.
"Oh, I have something to tell you mother." says Hamlet. "Uncle claudius is bad. He game my father poison. Poison is not good. I do not like poison. Do you like poison?"
"Oh, no indeed!"says his mother. "I do not like poison."
"Oh, there is Uncle claudius," says Hamlet. "He is hiding behind the curtain. Why is he hiding behind the curtain? I shall stab him. what fun it will be to stab him through the curtain."
See Hamlet draw his sword. see Hamlet stab.
Stab, Hamlet, stab.
See Uncle Claudius's blood gush.
Gush, blood, gush.
See Uncle Claudius fall. How funny he looks, stabbed.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
But it is not Uncle Claudius.
It is Polonius. Polonius is Ophelia's father.
What fun Hamlet is having.
"You are naughty, Hamlet," says Hamlet's mother. "You have stabbed Polonius."
But Hamlet's mother is not cross. She loves Hamlet. He is a good boy.
And Hamlet loves his mother. She is a good mother. Hamlet loves mother very much.
Hamlet loves his mother very, very much.
Does Hamlet love his mother a little too much?
Perhaps.
:rollin
See the man. What a funny man. His name is Hamlet. He is a prince. He is sad. Why are you sad, Hamlet?
"I am sad for my father has died" says Hamlet. "My father was the king."
Where are you going, Hamlet.
On the way he meets a ghost. "Where are you going?" asks the ghost.
"I am going to the castle." says Hamlet
"Boo,Boo" says the ghost.
"What is your name, you silly ghost?" asks Hamlet clapping his hands.
"I am your father," says the ghost. " I was a good king. Uncle claudius is a bad king. He gave me poison. Would you like poison?"
"Oh, no," says Hamlet. "I would not like poison."
"will you avenge me, Hamlet?" says the ghost.
"Oh, yes," says Hamlet. "I will avenge you. What fun it will be to avenge you."
On the way he meets a girl.
"Where are you going?" asks the girl.
"I am going to the castle," says Hamlet.
"Ha, ha," says the girl.
"What is your name?" asks Hamlet.
"My name is Ophelia," says the girl.
"Why are you laughing?" asks Hamlet. "You are a silly goose."
"I laugh because you are so funny,"says Ophelia." I laugh because you are schizophrenic. Are you schizophrenic?"
"I am not schizophrenic," says Hamlet, laughing and clapping his hands.
"I pretended I am a schizophrenic. I pretend, for what to fool my uncle. What fun it is to pretend that I am a schizophrenic.
see Hamlet run. Run, Hamlet, run.
He is going to his mother's room.
"Oh, I have something to tell you mother." says Hamlet. "Uncle claudius is bad. He game my father poison. Poison is not good. I do not like poison. Do you like poison?"
"Oh, no indeed!"says his mother. "I do not like poison."
"Oh, there is Uncle claudius," says Hamlet. "He is hiding behind the curtain. Why is he hiding behind the curtain? I shall stab him. what fun it will be to stab him through the curtain."
See Hamlet draw his sword. see Hamlet stab.
Stab, Hamlet, stab.
See Uncle Claudius's blood gush.
Gush, blood, gush.
See Uncle Claudius fall. How funny he looks, stabbed.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
But it is not Uncle Claudius.
It is Polonius. Polonius is Ophelia's father.
What fun Hamlet is having.
"You are naughty, Hamlet," says Hamlet's mother. "You have stabbed Polonius."
But Hamlet's mother is not cross. She loves Hamlet. He is a good boy.
And Hamlet loves his mother. She is a good mother. Hamlet loves mother very much.
Hamlet loves his mother very, very much.
Does Hamlet love his mother a little too much?
Perhaps.
:rollin