Nightlight: The Sighting

[Xazor Elessar]

Heaven
By: Live



You don't need no friends
Get back your faith again
You have the power to believe
Another dissident
Take back your evidence
It has no power to deceive

I'll believe it when I see it for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive

I sit with them all night
Everything they say is right
But in the morning they were wrong
I'll be right by your side
Come hell or water high
Down any road you choose to roam

I'll believe it when I see it for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive, yeah

Darling, I believe, Oh Lord
Sometimes it's hard to breathe, Lord
At the bottom of the sea, yeah yeah

I'll believe it when I see it for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset
I can see the sunset
I can see the sunset
I don't need no one
I don't need no one, oh
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
To tell me about heaven
I believe
I believe it, yeah


* * * * *

It was a rather dreary day on Coruscant. The sky was clouded over and the threat of rain was not merely a threat anymore. Torrents of the cold pellets fell from the sky and spattered the hard ground below. It was not ideal though throngs of people gathered outside of shops and cluttered up sidewalks.

A figure clad in a black cloak pushed through the crowd in a hurried fashion. It was evident that if anyone got in its path, that the being would merely plow it over. It seemed to have a mission, almost. In the mind of the being, however, there was only a pinging sensation in the Force.

A few more steps toward an alley allowed the sensation to grow and in that instant, it was evident the purpose of her being out today. Ultrasensitive ears had picked up voices back down the road a ways, but they grew in intensity as she approached. Now they were yells and screams. People passed yet did nothing, and generally, everyone stayed clear of the scene unfolding down the abandoned alley.

There before the figure was a male dressed in torn brown clothing. His hair was bedraggled and appeared not to have been washed by anything but today's rain. His face was smeared with dirt and a bit of blood, the same blood that was on his hands. He knelt over a woman who had been wearing a red dress of some sort, but now the material was torn and she was partially naked, laying on the cold, hard ground.

He was beating her, violating her.

"Son of a --" Her thoughts were cut short as the wolf inside of Xazor Elessar's heart reared its head. She growled deeply as her cyan blue eyes narrowed upon the face of the offender. They burned with a passion long since lost in the recent times. It was time to ignite that fire once again, and the Lost Jedi Knight could not resisit this time. "Justice shall reign on you today." Xazor whispered as she took no notice of the few gawkers behind her. Even to her right was a restaurant with large windows where there were small groups of people happily gathered together, eating and dining -- going about their business as usual. Soon, things would turn even greyer than the weather.

In a rush like the speed of lightning, the being clad in black was at the side of the evil one, and her hand was firmly grasping his shoulder. "Stand up." She commanded him, but he would not budge as he swung at the woman on the ground. "STAND UP NOW!" She yelled in his ear and forcefully ripped pulled the man up from the ground so she could see his face. "Today, you will die." The Garou Warrior seemed to growl the words when suddenly her free hand formed a fist and came up to lable the man square in the jaw.

He stumbled backwards a few steps, but Xazor's hand did not fall from his shoulder. "Run away! GO!" She commanded the injured woman on the ground. Barely able to stand, the victim managed to her feet and then hobbled off toward the main road where someone was bound to notice her wretched state. "Payback's never very nice." The woman bore her elongated canines as a bit of a laugh escaped her lips. She was all about justice and in her book, this man had taken advantage of the system one too many times. Now it was his turn. Pulling him closer, Xazor punched him again, this time, in the chest. He gasped for air as she kneed him in the stomach and then smashed her elbow over his back. He attempted to grab onto her free arm as he fell, but she kicked him in the side and he met the ground.

"What's your name?" She demanded of the sorry figure curled up at her feet. "Tell me!" The Knight placed her hand upon the saber at her belt as she glared at him. "Cam -- Cameron." He stammered and shut his eyes tightly as a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Pl -- please don't -- ki -- kill me -- ple --" But his words were cut off as the woman drew forth her saber and ignited one side of it. A hissing blue blade shot forth and immediatly following, made contact with the man's neck. His head rolled off his body as Xazor disengaged her weapon and clipped it back to her belt. In the heat of the moment, it was evident that he had opened his eyes to see her actions and now, the head lay staring at her. With a heavy sigh, the Garou bent down and closed the eyes with her thumbs before rising to her feet and glancing around for a moment. "Sorry it had to be this way." She whispered before taking off down the dark alley.

Only a few people had stopped to gawk, but the restaurant was in an uproar. The Jedi Knight escaped the scene in time, knowing she had done right this day. A woman was saved and now could get the help she needed. Another aggressor was off the streets and no longer could he abuse and violate women. His chances were up and it was his time. Inhaling deeply, the Garou dashed down another alley before opening a door in the back of a diner. It was evident by the smiles and friendly gestures that the cooks and other employees that they were familiar with this black claden figure they referred to as "the watcher". Indeed, Xazor had now filled the shoes of her own father as she took a place at the back corner of the establishment and allowed her eyes to wander about the tables of those who came and went.

"I'll just have a water." The Knight spoke calmly as she leaned back against the corner of the wall and felt her muscles relax. It had already been a long day and she needed something, anything to change her mood.

[Dasquian Belargic]

Patrol was a word now almost entirely out of Dasquians vocabulary. There had been a time when he would simply stroll the streets, effectively on a beat. His feet had learned the tread of the roads and the lay of the land, but now it was all faded and forgotten. Of course, there was familiarity, but it blurred at the edges. As he walked, his daughter in his arms, he found that where he had once seen smiles in the faces of people passing by there was something else. Coruscant was falling further and further into decay. Faith in the Jedi Order was waning. The hatred that had been in the lower levels was slowly spreading upwards. It only took a few misdeeds by a few who called themselves Jedi to sully a thousand years of dedication and servitude.

If it wasn’t for his commitment to the Jedi, Dasquian would have left Coruscant long ago. When Valanya had been born he had vowed she would be raised in a safe, happy environment. Neither of these promises were being very well upheld. She had been passed around so many arms lately, it was a wonder she knew who her own father was. Still, things were getting better now. Dasquian had put a limit to how much time he committed to training, refusing to take on anymore students. When he and Brielle spent time together, Vali would come with them. It wasn’t the best of arrangements, but it was necessary.

Today, father and daughter were going out for lunch. The kitchen in Dasquian’s room had taken a bit of a beating a couple of nights ago, when Sejah had gotten rather rowdy and drunk after dinner with Figrin. Moreover, it had been a while since he had treated Vali to something nice.

Turning down a street corner, he saw a small café ahead. It looked quiet and pleasant. Smiling to himself, he failed to notice the aura of uncertainty and anxiety that was surrounding the area. He set Valanya down, keeping hold of her hand as he allowed her to open the door – she liked to take charge of things, he’d noticed. Holding one hand against the glass, he convinced Valanya that it was she who had managed to keep it open for the both of them. She grinned a fanged smile up at him.

“Clevar!”

“Clever,” Dasquian chided softly before ushering her ahead, “Come on, then, where shall we sit?”

The Halfling jabbed a little hand at some tall stools around a circular table.

“How are you going to get up there, hmm?”

Valanya pouted, “Lift, daddy?”

He smiled and obliged, scooping her up and setting her down on the cushion, “Careful now. It’s a long way down,” he said, as she wriggled about, looking around excitedly at all of the people, and silently wondering when she was going to get some ice-cream.

“Can I have two bantha blasters?” the Knight called out over his shoulder to the bar.

[Xazor Elessar]

"Here is your water, Watcher." A small voice chimed in Xazor's ear as an equally small hand lifted a glass of the clear liquid to rest upon the table before her. With a nod at the little woman and a silent thank you, her cyan blue eyes began shifting about the room once again. Occassionally, the Jedi Knight would take a sip of her drink of choice, but otherwise, it merely sat upon the wood it was placed.

Many people came and went through the front doors of the cafe and the Garou kept her attention on a few now and again. Today was different, though, as no one really seemed to register in her mind. "What have I become?" She questioned herself as she took note of the many walks of life that gathered in the establishment. Unbeknownst to them, in the corner of this very restaurant sat a powerful Jedi, fallen from the very Order that they sought protection from. "Fallen?" Xazor thought to herself as she continued looking about.

Indeed, in a sense, she was just that but called herself The Lost Jedi. Their numbers had grown and now they crawled about the people, keeping order and justice where the Greater Jedi Order would normally overlook or pass a situation up. She was sure that if it had been a Jedi from the GJO, they would have attempted to turn the heart of that man she had killed just twenty minutes ago. "He wasn't worth it." Her thoughts continued verbally until it was then she noticed two figures come through the door.

Xazor thought nothing for several seconds, but sat and stared in disbelief.

"Impossible." The Knight knew that somehow, this day was already getting to her and so, she rubbed her eyes and took another sip of the water to clear her mind. Her eyes wandered about the room for another minute or so, but she was drawn to the two beings that she inevitably knew were really there. The auras screamed out to her, reaching to her, allowing her to know they were real. It was really Dasquian and Valanya -- two people, her family, that she had not seen in such a long time. Too many things had happened in that time -- to many things had changed her, changed them. It would be impossible to just appear in their lives now.

Shifting her weight uncomfortably, the Knight realized she was beginning to perspire a bit. "Why am I so nervous?" She questioned herself as her eyes peered out from beneath the hood of her dark cloak. She continued watching them, quelling her desire to leap out of her seat and dash to her daughter's side. Xazor knew she had to wait, though. It was not time, not yet. She would keep watch still, and observe for a few minutes -- and then, somehow, she would move.

[Dasquian Belargic]

When Dasquian sat, his back was facing Xazor. There had been a time when every diner or café he had gone into, he would look around to see if he could see her there. Whenever he turned a corner, he would be sure that she would be there waiting. On more than one occasion, he’d fooled himself into believing he could feel her presence, but now he was past this. They had taken separate paths in the Force and it wasn’t his place to pursue her, no matter how much he felt they needed to speak.

“Here you go!” Dasquian bent the top of two straws, putting them both in one tall glass. The liquid inside popped and crackled quietly as he gave it a little stir. Valanya sat forward, holding the straw in two hands as she took a little sip and quickly sat back.

“Ow! Tickle,” she wrinkled her nose and stuck her tongue, crossing her eyes as she tried to see what it was that was creating the odd sensation.

“It’s just the drink,” he assured her, nodding down at the glass, where little bubbles popped on the surface, “What does it taste like?”

“Tickle.”

“No, tickle isn’t a flavor… come on. Think back to what we learned,” he said quietly.

“Uhhhhmmm… berry.”

It seemed her aversion to the drink had gone already, as she sat forward again and took another slurp, repeating the process of trying to deduce how it was making her tongue tingle.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor watched the interaction of Dasquian and Valanya. He had done a wonderful job of raising her, just as she knew he would. It was evident that she was daddy's little girl and that he had taught her well. She was so smart, and occassionally, the Knight was sure that she could see a hint of her own characteristics in the child.

With a new resolve, and perhaps a bit of fear, Xazor Elessar rose to her feet and left the glass of water behind on her table as she approached the pair who had captured her attention for the last speck of time. Quietly, slowly -- but surly, she took each step toward them. Dasquian's back was to her, and Xazor's identity was well hidden still, even within this place. She could not risk getting caught by the NR or the Jedi, though she had done nothing wrong. It was known that she was still wanted.

Stopping, right behind Dasquian, the woman inhaled deeply. With shaking, tense muscles, the Garou lifted a hand and set it upon his shoulder. Her touch, surly he would recognize it. Her scent -- she thought that too might be familiar. Most of all he would have to remember her presence and the way he felt when she was around.

"Or did he forget me?"

The thoughts lingered in Xazor's mind and for a moment, she nearly blacked out at the idea that perhaps he had forgotten her. She wondered if he had ever told Valanya of her mother. She wondered if the child even knew what Xazor looked like. "What if she doesn't know?" The thoughts taunted her and without knowledge, her hand tightened slightly upon Dasquian's shoulder. There she stood, unaware in this new state of fear.

[Dasquian Belargic]

The human mind is a fascinating thing. Memory is infinite. There are things you think you have forgotten, when really they are only temporarily out of your consciousness. It just takes a scent, a touch, a sound and it comes crashing back with all the force of a tsunami. It darts up and down your spine like lightning, prickling cold across your skin.

Dasquian could not help but arch his back slightly as he felt a familiar hand against his body. He didn’t need to turn, to look; it was obvious. Valanya seemed to have sense his change in mood, and then something else. It was recollection for her too, the scent. Familiarity, but uncertainty as to why.

“Please… sit down,” he said, his voice a little edgy. They hadn’t parted on the best of terms and he was no longer sure of her alignments and attitudes, particularly towards him.

[Xazor Elessar]

The words seemed cold and a bit unsuspecting. Dasquian's mood seemed to change the instant that Xazor had touched him. For a moment, his statement barely registered in her mind, but then she realized what he had said. "Sit? How can I do that in a time like this?!" Her mind raced and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closely.

"I have missed you from the moment we parted." She whispered as tears welled up in her eyes. Indeed, at one time she thought she had been mad at him, but her heart knew otherwise. How could she be mad at the man she would somehow always love? For several moments, she could say nothing, do nothing, but hold him close.

Her tears slowly rolled down her cheeks and all she could do was breath. The moment was too emotional, and her heart was breaking all in the same.

[Dasquian Belargic]

A deep sigh of belief was breathed within. She had missed him. He felt selfish for reveling in this thought, but it comforted him greatly. Reaching back over his shoulder to her, he offered as kind a smile as he could muster and said softly, “Come now, don’t cry… look, look…”

As she pulled away from a little, he nodded towards Valanya, who sat staring wide-eyed up at Xazor. Clearly, she was beginning to piece together the puzzle in her mind. This familiar image of matriarch and patriarch that she had seen before, as a very young child welled up in her mind. A tearful sort of smile overcame her, as though she wasn’t sure how to react to what she was seeing. She had never spent much time with her mother and somehow this made her need for her stronger.

“Where have you been,” Dasquian asked, nothing more than a whisper, “… we’ve missed you.”

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor's mind was on overload as so many emotions continued to spill from her heart. In that instant, Dasquian quietly pointed out their daughter, Valanya. The Jedi Knight's heart broke in half as her eyes fell upon the little girl's face for the first time in so long. She looked like the perfect balance between Xazor and Dasquian, oddities and all.

With a smile like she's never expressed before, the woman watched the child's reaction. She too didn't exactly know what to think, but it was evident that she was excited to see her mother.

"Where have you been,...we've missed you."

The words wrenched her heart again as Dasquian spoke and she shook her head, eyes falling away from Valanya's face in shame. "Hiding -- running. I've never been really far, though. So close, you wouldn't believe." She spoke in a hushed tone before lifting her eyes to the child's face once again. "I have missed you too, so much more than you know."

"I had no time to explain anything to you, Dasquian. I'm so terribly sorry. I don't deserve to even be in your presence right now, much less know that I am the mother of that beautiful little girl over there." She thouched her fellow Knight's mind with her own and allowed him to hear the thoughts that were racing through her heart. Tears continued to stream down her face, silently, until they reached her chin and fell to her cloak.

"Amin mela lle." The woman whispered to Valanya, knowing full well that Dasquian had been teaching her of the language he had once taught to the Garou. "She doen't even know my face anymore. So much has changed and it has had to be this way, Dasquian. I know you may not understand the length of everything I've gone through, but if you're willing to listen to me -- like you used to, when we were --" Xazor paused a moment, realizing that her words were taking her places she wished to desperately be again, but knew she never would. "I miss you, I miss your friendship, your companionship. I miss our daughter. I miss the dinners you would cook for us. I miss -- too much to discuss here, in this one day, Dasquian."

In truth, Xazor was still in love with him. He was the father of her child! How could she forget everything he was to her? Love did not disappear over night, or even years, for that matter. She missed lying beside him in bed, she missed hearing his heart beat in time with hers, she missed training with him, she missed -- his smile. Now all these things belonged to someone else, and in her mind, rightfully so. Xazor had been aweful to him and now he had someone to take care of him and her daughter.

"I'm sorry for coming into the picture now -- so late in the game when you both are getting setteled with life around you and with, well, other people. It's a wonder if Valanya will ever remember me."

[Dasquian Belargic]

“There’s no reason for you not to Xazor. Valanya is your child as much as she is mine… perhaps more. Just because we are not… together, does not mean that we cannot be friends, cannot be a family. No one can ever replace you as Vali’s mother… you should know that.”

He looked back to the young girl, who stared back at him, as though wanting answers to questions she did not fully understand. In time, she would, of course, but for now, hers was not to question and query.

“You could have come to see her, at the Order… I wouldn’t have turned you away,” he explained, looking still at his daughter.

[Xazor Elessar]

"I can't go there -- you don't understand." Her eyes pleaded with him before she turned her attention fully to Valanya. "If you didn't turn me away, wouldn't you have turned me in? What about the other Jedi?" Xazor felt more tears well up in her eyes, but she fought them. Shaking her head, the young woman looked down at the floor.

With a shrug, the Knight concluded that her life was officially a mess and there was hardly a way out now. "I want so badly to have what you speak of -- to be family, to have your friendship -- to see my daughter, but forever will I be on the run." She paused a moment and glanced out the window, noting how big the world around her was, yet she felt trapped.

"There is no safe place for me to go anymore."

[Dasquian Belargic]

"I cannot promise a warm welcome at the Temple, but I am sure that within time you would regain the trust and respect you once had amongst its ranks." There was a sort of desperation in his voice, the voice of an addict deprived of their fix. It had been too long since he had seen Xazor and this already only brief meeting was rekindling his feelings of friendship for her, such strong feelings. It was his turn to plead now, eyes showing the feeling behind his words, "It's never too late."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor noted the pleading look in Dasquian's eyes and how it seemed to mirror her own. She shook her head at his words and sighed. "They hardly trusted me before I was arrested, what would make them change their minds now?" She scoffed slightly at the idea. "It was one of their own who took me from there." She stated quietly, thinking back on Pierce Tondry, the wretched bloke.

Sighing, the Jedi Knight glanced over at Valanya before shifting her eyes back to Dasquian's face. "I would love to be able to return and to be amongst friends and family once again -- to live at peace, but it's not possible." Xazor glanced down at the floor and held her gaze there for several moments as silence fell over the pair. "It's not who I am anymore."

That was the truth. Xazor had drastically changed since having been taken from the Order, some would say for the better -- and still others questioned her allegiance to the Light. The situation she was in the middle of made things rather unfair for her, and she wished to make Dasquian see that. "If I were to return there, I would upset the happy balance that they have since built for themselves in my absence."

[Dasquian Belargic]

A slight frown creased his brow, "You speak as though your return would crumble the Order to its foundations... as though your very presence would disrupt the harmony. I hardly that think so, Xazor. I would imagine quite the opposite. I speak selflessly when I say that we are in dire need of Knights and your skill alone would be a great help."

The Knight folded his hands together, eyes momentarily moving over Valanya. She sat confused. Somehow, this wasn't the happy family reunion she had expected.

"Please... tell me you will think on it?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Landing herself in jail was hardly Xazor's idea of a happy return. The idea of going back to the Jedi Order was a nice one, something that made her smile, but somehow she knew it would not be as Dasquian spoke. Of course, she would not crumble the Order to its foundations or ruin a great deal of anything, but it would disrupt a sense of peace the Council had not felt in a long time.

"I know they need teachers and protectors, I know that Dasquian -- I also know that I'm not what they're looking for, though." She spoke softly as a sad smile cross her face. His request was something she would take to heart, though, and so in reply to his question she simply nodded. "I'll think on it."

Soon her eyes moved to Valanya's face once again and she smiled, wishing to hold her daughter and letting her know everything would be okay. She looked so confused and unhappy, questioning and worried. The Knight wished to comfort her and assure Dasquian all at the same time, but so far, this was not going the way she had pictured it in her mind.

[Dasquian Belargic]

"I'm sorry... I'm burdening you with so many things when I should be allowing you to speak, to me or to your daughter," he bowed his head very slightly, "My apologies, Xazor. It was rather selfish of me to bring this matter up. We shall speak no further of it." With that he smiled, "Now, Vali, would you like to hear what your mother has been up to, hm? I bet she's been on a great many adventures, eh?" he said with a grin, looking from daughter to mother. Valanya's eyes seemed to light up at the mention of adventure - it was clear which of her parents she was going to turn out like.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor felt badly for her reaction to Dasquian's inquires. She placed a and on his shoulder and squeezed it slightly. "It is no bother -- and we shall speak of it later." She assured, her eyes moving to Valanya. It was wonderful to see her smile again. Her eyes lit up and beamed at the Knight.

"Adventures? Of course, I've been on a lot of adventures." She grinned and looked at Dasquian, knowing that he was probably aware of several of her doings -- not to mention the aid that the Jedi Order seemed to be receiving without them really understanding who was giving it.

Being a Lost Jedi seemed to take her everywhere -- and in her absence from the Order, she had done a lot of things and had many secrets that she could only share with a few people. This was her family, though, and they would hear everything. "I've been to a lot of planets on the outer rim -- very far away from here, Valanya. I've seen beautiful things, like waterfalls, prettier than the fake ones here. I've seen bad things, like wars and people hurting each other. I've had to save families and I've had to do bad things to save nations -- but I've seen incredible things." She smiled broadly and looked down at the table. She waited for Valanya to absorb everything before she continued.

[Dasquian Belargic]

"You're going to grow up to be just like mother and father, aren't you?" Dasquian smiled down at the girl, who nodded with fever. The prospect of wars and waterfalls was one she could not afford to miss! Sitting a little further forward in her chair, Valanya took a moment to slurp noisily upon her drink before speaking to Xazor - in the Hallaeran tongue. Her grasp of Basic was not marvellous as of yet, but she could articulate in Dasquians native language with relative ease. What she was: "Is that why you had to go away? To see the waterfalls?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor still remembered everything about Dasquian's language. He had taught her long ago and knew that when it came time for Valanya to speak, she would learn as well. Smiling as the child questioned her, Xazor nodded silently. For several moments, all she could do was sit and watch her daughter, wondering what was going through her mind -- what she thought about Xazor.

"I had to go away to see the waterfalls because they keep me safe." She spoke, in all honest truth. For a good deal of time right after Xazor escaped, she had been on Trillith -- and no one would ever find her there. "I'm back now, though. I'm here." She spoke this through Hallaeran. With a smile, the Jedi Knight looked over to Dasquian and thought about how much she wanted to be his wife -- how much she wanted this meeting to be a happy one where she would know they would be a family again.

Alas, it was not. Instead, it was a time where she was getting to know her daughter.

"I've missed you." She whispered with sad eyes upon the child's face.