Anyone here...

[Nikkiah Wintermoon]

A lawyer by chance? Yes, there is a reason to ask this and yes I do have one already lol ... I'm just looking to check something.

[Sanis Prent]

I've taken some corporate law. Whatcha need?

[Nikkiah Wintermoon]

Mmm I think this falls more into a family law type of deal. I cant get a hold of my own attorney until tuesday of next week, but I just wanted to be able to check to see if I'm getting screwed over by the courts with a particular issue.

I tried looking up the answer to my question online, but so far all the links I've read haven't really done much good.

[Shawn]

Well, ask away and we'll see what we can do. I'm not a lawyer, but I play one on TV.

[Nikkiah Wintermoon]

You're on tv???

Well, ok. Um .. I'll do my best to not get too personal in this post and in all honesty, I've hit the point where I just feel like crying all the time.

Hm. How to begin ...

Well .. I've been divorced since March of '01 and until this past September, my children and I had been living at my mothers while I worked, went to school and did everything I could in order to get to the point of being able to support myself and my children.

The situation at my mother's is difficult. I have an older brother whom is severely downs syndrome, he cannot take care of himself at all. So, my mom would take care of my kids while I worked and I'd take care of my brother while my mother worked.

Last year, I lost a really good paying job. The owner/boss of the company told me I "was too pretty" then informed me that I was fired. Yes, I am being totally honest here. I've no reason to lie and no reason to lie to anyone online, either.

That created a financial hardship on my family (consisting of me, mom, brother and my children).

I literally sent out 3,000 resume's by email and another 2,500 by snail mail and I wasn't getting anything out of that.

We needed the income and I found work in another state; which meant I had to move 3 hours west of my family just to make some money.

My youngest child moved with me. My divorce decree doesn't say I couldnt move her and all this other stuff. Its perfectly legal for me to move my children with me - I have sole care and custody.

I tried to make other arrangements for visitation with my ex but he became extremely beligerent, screamed at me and hung up the phone. I've tried to make contact twice more after that only to have the phone ring endlessly or his machine pick up- which I do leave a message.

Now my ex is trying to sue me for custody of the kids (he won't win, this I already know since he's a drug abuser, an alcoholic and has a very violent past). However ...

At the last court date, I was told that I have to be back in court on the tenth of feb to answer to the court as to why I shouldn't be held in contempt for "standing in the way of visitation with the younger minor child."

Excuse me!???

I'm being threatened with contempt because that jerk hangs up the phone and arrangements can't be made!???

Travel to and from the courthouse (its up in Illinois) is not cheap and its costing me a fortune between that and my attorney's fees.

I suppose I'm just wondering how in the heck a person can be held in contempt when they can't do what is suppose to be done because the accusing party is the one causing the problems?
Also, I'm wondering when its become MY responsibility to make visitation arrangements between he and the children. From what I was led to understand from the divorce, this is HIS responsibility.

Oh yes, and my ex is also stating that it is contemptuous of me to be getting remarried and moving the children out of state and that I should be punished for this.

I hope I worded that right ... kind of just confused myself too.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

pm me.

my mom is in the same situation sorta and ill ask her advice for you.

[Shawn]

Sounds to me like his lawyer is attempting to nail you with whatever he can, just to make things rough on you. Basically, he hopes that if he throws enough stuff at you, some of it will stick. Your lawyer should be able to debunk most of these accusations... however, I have no suggestions for how to handle the financial side of the issue. :( A loan, perhaps? If you're lucky, your lawyer will be able to handle most of this without you needing to fly back and forth so much.

[Charley]

You should be able to swing a loan for a decent rate, if that'll help you in a pinch. I'd think about it.

[ReaperFett]

I'm no expert here, but couldn't your phone company prove you called him? Furthermore, couldn't they prove he never called you?

[Nikkiah Wintermoon]

Oh definitely. My attorney can supoena records from the phone company plus my sons have heard the messgages I left on his answering machine during their visitation with him.

Because of the situation I explained previously at my mother's, my two sons are still living with her over in Illinois and finishing out this school year, then they are moving down with me and my fiance`.

I definitely appreciate all of the advice and words of encouragement you've all provided. It does help a lot.

As for my traveling expenses, I'm hoping that my attorney will be able to get it ordered by the court that my ex has to reimburse me and pay my legal fees.

A part of me is just scared that this judge will side with him - the judges in the county that this is all happening in are pretty biased against people who are from the county I happen to originally be from.

Truth be told, I know my ex. You don't live with someone for thirteen years of your life and not know them. All of his accusations are BS and I'm sure my attorney will be able to prove all of that. I just get so steamed that he's using my children to get to me out of his sheer spite at the fact that I've moved on with my life and he's absolutely miserable.

I'm a mother and I'm a dang good mother - even my children's teachers will state that I'm one of the best mother's they've seen in their schools in a long time. I don't like being accused of being anything less than a good mother. The courts make it extremely difficult for a mother to do the best she can by her children - at least from my personal experience this has been the case.

[Daiquiri Van-Derveld]

Though you may have custody, moving out of state (with kids) usually requires going before a judge. If your ex has any kind of visitation, then he has the right to try and stop you. You'll prolly need a court order/approval to move your kids.

[Nikkiah Wintermoon]

Nope, didn't need any approval by the courts as there was nothing in the divorce papers stating I couldn't move the kids out of state. There wasn't anything in the papers concerning the chance of getting remarried and relocating. I asked my attorney before moving the children if I could. I'm fine there.

[Mu Satach]

Stay strong, they're playing poker with you and trying to bluff. My sister's dad was the same way. He tried to bully my mother about the visitation rights, it didn't work.