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Charley
Jan 13th, 2004, 01:57:10 AM
I am now an ordained minister.

www.ulc.org

Empowered (under the law of my state) to carry out marriage ceremonies, funerals, last rites, baptism, flagellations, snake dancing, strychnine drinking, and everything else that I may so be required to perform, except circumcision.

Reverend Charles Jackson Hicks

:cool

Man, that sounds awesome.

Marcus Telcontar
Jan 13th, 2004, 02:59:07 AM
http://www.lasermonks.com/

IThis is either the best joke site on the net, or the real thing. Either way, it's.... odd until you think about it. It has a certain appropriate bit of sideways thinking.

Darth Viscera
Jan 13th, 2004, 06:07:41 AM
Why can't you perform circumcision?

Marcus Telcontar
Jan 13th, 2004, 06:12:36 AM
Originally posted by Darth Viscera
Why can't you perform circumcision?

One slip and he'll get the sac?

Daiquiri Van-Derveld
Jan 13th, 2004, 07:41:48 AM
Charley, it makes you sound like an evangelist....and most of them are crooked :uhoh

ReaperFett
Jan 13th, 2004, 07:58:07 AM
• Please only ordain others with their permission. (This includes public figures, cartoon, and other fictional characters.)
Hit and run ordaining! :D

Razielle Shadana
Jan 13th, 2004, 07:58:55 AM
>D

I worked in a neonatal intensive care unit...

I can perform circumcisions....

Muwhahahaha.... *ahem* :lol

Darth Viscera
Jan 13th, 2004, 08:02:40 AM
Ever botched one?

Razielle Shadana
Jan 13th, 2004, 08:17:11 AM
Nope. All the pencils were nicely sharpened. :D

Charley
Jan 13th, 2004, 08:47:36 AM
Probably because circumcisions are a medical procedure, and I have no qualifications for that, unless I want to be sued.

Besides, I don't know of any ministers who perform circumcisions anymore.

Darth Viscera
Jan 13th, 2004, 08:52:55 AM
Originally posted by Razielle Shadana
Nope. All the pencils were nicely sharpened. :D

/deepbow
That's very good to hear! So much depends upon you, o greatest of great wimmin

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 13th, 2004, 11:12:16 AM
so now were a reverend? :mischief

Pierce Tondry
Jan 13th, 2004, 11:18:42 AM
Yes. Charley is one to be revered.

Excuse me. I have a sudden need to laugh my head off. :)

imported_Firebird1
Jan 13th, 2004, 11:47:35 AM
Before I join Pierce in his laughing might I ask what are you going to do with it Charlie?

Charley
Jan 13th, 2004, 12:02:48 PM
Originally posted by Firebird1
Before I join Pierce in his laughing might I ask what are you going to do with it Charlie?

I dunno. Probably go and walk the land, like Kain from Kung Fu.

Xanatos Etanial
Jan 13th, 2004, 12:04:44 PM
Originally posted by Agent Charley
I dunno. Probably go and walk the land, like Kain from Kung Fu.

Somehow... I should have seen that coming.

Silus Xilarian
Jan 13th, 2004, 01:32:09 PM
does this mean you cant drink beer anymore?

Sejah Haversh
Jan 13th, 2004, 01:43:48 PM
Not only can he drink it, he can bless it, too. And ordain it, if he so feels.

Zasz Grimm
Jan 13th, 2004, 01:52:06 PM
if i elope with some chick, i'll go to bama and get married by charley, in his wolf man outfit.

that'll own.

Charley
Jan 13th, 2004, 02:05:24 PM
Originally posted by Sejah Haversh
Not only can he drink it, he can bless it, too. And ordain it, if he so feels.

There's nothing in the bible against imbibing alcohol, interestingly enough.

You should steer clear of being a drunkard though, and I almost never do that these days.

Lilaena De'Ville
Jan 13th, 2004, 03:09:35 PM
Well...congratulations? :p

:hug

Daiquiri Van-Derveld
Jan 13th, 2004, 04:06:23 PM
Instead of Friar Tuck, you'll be Friar Chuck ;)

Wei Wu Wei
Jan 13th, 2004, 04:06:44 PM
It seems like they'll ordain anybody these days. Stupid internet. Just kidding Charley. But it does sort of make a joke out of ordaining ministers. Have fun with the power vested in you, man.

Dan the Man
Jan 13th, 2004, 04:20:16 PM
Originally posted by Daiquiri Van-Derveld
Instead of Friar Tuck, you'll be Friar Chuck ;)

Well, for 10 bucks, I can be designated a Friar of the church.

Here are the list of titles available to you, from the church:

Abbe , Abbess, Abbot, Ananda, Angel, Apostle of Humility, Apostolic Scribe, Arch Deacon, Arch Priest, Archbishop, Arch cardinal, Ascetic Gnostic, Baron, Baroness, Bible Historian, Bishop, Brahman, Brother, Canon, Cantor, Cardinal, Channel, Chaplain, Colonel, Cure', Deacon, Dervish, Directress, Disciple, Druid, Elder, Emissary, Evangelist, Faith Healer, Father, Field Missionary, Flying Missionary, Free Thinker, Friar, Goddess, Guru, Hadji, Healing Minister, High Priest, High Priestess, Imam, Lama, Lay Sister, Magus, Martyr, Messenger, Matriarch, Metropolitan, Minister of Music, Minister of Peace, Missionary, Missionary Doctor , Missionary Healer, Missionary of Music, Missionary Priest, Monk, Monsignor, Most Reverend, Christian Mother Superior, Mystical Philosopher, Orthodox Monk, Parochial Educator, Pastor General, Pastoral Counselor, Patriarch, Peace Counselor, Preacher, Preceptor, Priest, Priestess, Prophet, Psychic Healer, Rabbi, Rector, Religious Preacher, Revelator, Reverend, Reverend Father, Reverend
Mother, Right Reverend, Saintly Healer, Scribe, Seer, Shaman, Sister, Soul Therapist, Spiritual Counselor, Spiritual Healer, Spiritual Warrior, Starets, Swami, Teller, Thanatologist, The Very Esteemed, Universal Rabbi, Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality, Universal Religious Philosopher, Vicar, Wizard

Dan the Man
Jan 13th, 2004, 04:22:27 PM
I'm kinda liking the sound of Archbishop, Baron, Reverend Father, and Spiritual Warrior, myself :cool

ReaperFett
Jan 13th, 2004, 04:23:45 PM
Originally posted by Dan the Man
Pastor General
and then pastor T-Junction, before a right turn :)



Peace Counselor
Go on, be this one! :lol


Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality, Universal Religious Philosopher,
WHat sort of person would pick these? :)


Wizard
Do you get a pointy hat? :D

Quay'Na Rakai
Jan 13th, 2004, 04:37:54 PM
Originally posted by ReaperFett


Do you get a pointy hat? :D

Lol, now that would be good!!! Good for it, Charley and send us a pic!! Gotta see that!!

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 13th, 2004, 04:49:54 PM
thisll be interesting, sharing an apartment with a man of the "cloth" ô_o

Crystal
Jan 13th, 2004, 05:34:38 PM
When/If I get married.. I want Charley to do it!

So.. like.. call me in 20 years, Ok Chuck?

Lilaena De'Ville
Jan 13th, 2004, 05:35:01 PM
You guys are sharing an apartment? Cool! :D:thumbup

Charley
Jan 13th, 2004, 06:39:57 PM
Well, not yet. It's in the works, whenever I graduate.

Crystal
Jan 13th, 2004, 07:57:07 PM
Where at?

Charley
Jan 13th, 2004, 08:07:49 PM
Birmingham

Tear
Jan 13th, 2004, 09:05:08 PM
Ooohhh thats why..hehe:p

So do you have to attend a certain amount of hours to church every week or..just keep the faith? Is there a way to lose your..holy..ness? something..if you break a rule?

Charley
Jan 13th, 2004, 09:29:46 PM
I don't have to do anything. I can either start a church or sit on my butt all day. The only way I can lose my status as Reverend is to denounce my position in writing.

So I'm a Reverend forever or something :)

Valin Hsa
Jan 14th, 2004, 01:02:31 PM
Lay Sister

That just made me laugh, I have such a naughty mind.

ReaperFett
Jan 14th, 2004, 01:20:29 PM
Oh to find a convent of them ;)

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 14th, 2004, 02:09:12 PM
oh, we have one of those in dallas, fett.

its called the lizard lounge :D