Baby Blues (open)

[Abagael Zellan]

6:32 AM

The coffee was cold.

Abagael sat dumbly at her kitchenette table in a fuzzy white robe. Her hands rested listlessly in her lap, and her dulled blue eyes stared straight ahead without really looking at anything. There were dark circles under the padawans eyes, and her once-glowing skin was now a pasty white. Yes, there were a lot of things missing on Abagael now; the most notable was her balooned, pregnant belly.

The sticky-out stomach had transformed into a wailing pink bundle with a mass of dark hair. Nora Zellan had taken eighteen long hours to come into the world, and she didn't seem to like it. The infant hardly slept more than an hour at a time, if Abby was lucky. From what she remembered of Trent as a baby (which meant very little), that was a pretty rough kid. The woman was beginning to think that maybe some Greater Being was punishing her for being such a lousy parent when her son had been small.

The day Nora had been born (four days ago, to be exact) Abby hadn't wanted to go to the hospital. She had never given birth before, and quite suddenly nine and a half months didn't seem enough time to have gotten used to idea. However, once Nora had decided it was time to come out, there was no stopping it. And as soon as the baby had been born, all the pain went away. "Meet your daughter, Abby." That was what the doctor had said as he handed her the wet, screaming thing. The words had taken a moment to sink in. A daughter.

Meet your daughter, Abby.

Just like that. So final like. And Abagael Zellan had cried as she held the baby and wondered why something so small scared her so much. Of course that was then, and this was now. Right now Abby wanted to go back in time to last week and cherish the sleep she had gotten. There was little to be had now. It was as if the infant knew just when her mother was about to drift off, and in that moment chose to scream out. Abby had just put Nora back to sleep--clumsily because she wasn't used to doing so--and now found herself unable to sleep despite her tiredness.

And now the coffee was cold.

[Shade Magus]

Shade was walking to his quaters when he sensed something through the Force. It was a person who seemed very distressed, or very tired. Which of the two he could not conclude. He walked from door to door until he felt the presence the strongest.

"Hope everyone is ok in there..."

Shade spoke these words, using the Force to carry them inside the room. He lightly knocked on the door a few times to see if anyone would answer him.

[Abagael Zellan]

It took a long time for Abby to realize that the knocking at the door was not in her imagination. The woman sighed and hoisted herself from her seat, tucking tangled blonde hair behind her ears. Her bare feet squooshed softly on the carpeted floor as she walked to the door.

Before she opened it Abagael cast a glance in the round mirror hung on her wall. Ugh. It was almost enough to make her turn away. The woman looked like refried death warmed over.

With a sigh Abby hit the pad and the door swished open. She stared blankly at the man.

"Yes?"

[Shade Magus]

Shade took an involuntary step backwards as the door opened. The woman looked a little dishovled but otherwise she looked very beautiful.

"Umm..excuse me, but I was just wondering if everything was ok."

[Abagael Zellan]

"I'm fine."

Abby still hadn't gotten used to people determining things about her through the Force. It was quite disarming to have someone know without a doubt you were lying, or sick, or scared, excetera. She herself had only experienced minute nudgings through the Force, enough to just base hunches on.

The man at least deserved a small explanation for his courtesy. Abby shrugged and yawned loudly.

"I'm just a little tired. I just had a--"

A piercing shriek from the back room interupted the sentence. Abby cringed and finished, holding up a hand as she plodded to the room.

"Baby. Hold on, I'll be right back."

'Right back' became fifteen minutes while the woman jostled the baby lightly in her arms, hoping to stop the crying. It did, eventually, and she walked back to the door with Nora in her arms. Abby brushed her forhead with the back of her hand wearily.

"I'm Abagael. Thank-you for your concern, it was kind of you to ask in."

[Shade Magus]

Shade shook his head.

"No thanks is needed. I know what it is like to have others ask questions when you do not expect them to. My name Is Shade Magus by the way."

The young man nodded towards the baby in her arms.

"Your daughter is beautiful. You know if you ever need any help or someone to watch her for a little bit while you get some rest I would be more than delighted to help out. I live about three doors down and on the right."

Shade nodded towards the direction he was speaking about.

"I love children so it wouldn't be that much of a problem for me."

[Abagael Zellan]

"I appreciate the offer, Mr. Magus."

Abby managed a loose smile as she swayed back and forth to soothe the infant. The woman was quickly finding constant gentle movement was a necessity with a young one. When Trent had been a baby Abagael had a nurse to do all those things. She looked at Shade benignly through dishevelled hair.

"I made a promise to myself that I would try to do the mother bit on my own. For her sake.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?"

[Shade Magus]

"If it is no trouble then I would love a cup of coffee."

Shade smiled.

"Please call me Shade. And I think it is really noble to raise a child on your own, but please don't forget that the offer is alwys on the table."

[Abagael Zellan]

"I think it is really noble to raise a child on your own--"

Abby shook her head as he spoke, a serious look crossing her face. The woman crossed into the living room and lowered the sleeping Nora to the couch carefully. When she stood the woman placed her hands lightly on her hips.

"It's hardly noble Mr. Magus--Shade, rather. It's not like she was conceived in the throes of some passionate love affair and then her father died, leaving me a destitute Jedi padawan with an infant."

The thought made her snort as she mosied into the kitchen and removed a black china mug from the cupboard. Abby poured some of the cold coffee into it and stuck the drink into the microwave.

"I slept with a guy, I was drunk and don't remember most of it. Now I'm simply being an adult and dealing with the result of that decision."

The microwave beeped and Abagael turned to pull the steaming mug out. She put it on the counter and slid it across to the man.

"If it's no good I can make a new pot. Do you take cream or sugar in it?"

[Shade Magus]

"First of all I mean no offense. And cream would be fine."

Shade crossed the room and caught the mug as it was slid across the counter.

"Any decision can be noble. You made a mistake, but you have accepted the responsibilities for your actions. I know of many that would never do that.....in fact I used to be one of those many....."

A dark look crossed the Jedi Knight's face as he thought about his brother.

"So I have the utmost respect for anyone that can accept their responsibilities."

Shade smiled as he brought the coffee up to his lips and took a sip. He would lie it wasn't the best thing he had ever had, but it was far from the worst. In fact it wassomething he would prefer over most drinks he had ever had in the galaxy. Shade lowered the mug to speak.

"Yous coffee is quite good."

He then brought the mug back to his lips to take another sip.

[Abagael Zellan]

"And you're a pretty good liar."

Abagael had just sipped her own re-warmed coffee, and the cheap bitter taste made her face wrinkle. The woman began to busy herself with making a new pot.

"Have you been at the Order long, Shade?"

[Shade Magus]

Shade smiled at the woman's comment. He never had been much good at lying.

"I've been here for awhile yes. But it is much different now than it was then. So much has changed. What about you?"