Ray of Light....(Kack)

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na tossed and turned in a fitful sleep as she dreamed of the night her mother died after being shot and then buried beneath a pile of rubble.

Her eyes opened and she shot up into a sitting position. Her breaths in small gasps, the night still haunted her.

Quay'Na shook her head, it had been nearly two weeks since the ordeal and it plainly wouldn't leave her. With a deep breath, she swung her legs over the bedside and wiped the sweat from her brow.

It was rather early, but the Padawan was wide awake now and dismissed anymore thoughts of sleep. Not after that dream--nightmare...

Quietly, she showered and dressed. Then moved to the kitchen to grab a diet fizz-pop.

George, Hayes' dog looked up a moment when she came out of her room, but then went back to sleep.

Quay'Na opened her fizz pop and took a drink, why did she keep having this horrible dream? It was done and over with, she'd even returned to Naboo and talked to her Father; Jerib Rakai, the man who had adopted her so long ago.

He had forgiven her and so had her sister, Cheyanne. He and Jescenia's only birth child. So, no charges were made and the case was stated under self-defense and closed.

Quay's life was back to normal, but these dreams...with a sigh, she quietly slipped out of the quarters she shared with Hayes and made her way down to the Room of a Thousand Fountains to meditate on this for a bit. It was her favorite room in the entire Order, other than the main garden.

Quay walked in and found her favorite fountain. Kneeling down, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath and allowed her mind and body to relax. The art of mediation always soothed her and calmed everything within her. Soon, everything would be alright again....

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack looked over at his brother, Core, who was in a heated arguement with a little reptilian looking creature across the cantina. The two banged on the table as they spoke and swung their hands in the air.

Suddenly the little creature pulled something from his bag and then there was a flash...

Kack jerked up in bed. He had been having a nightmare of his own. Sweat poured down his forehead as he sat in his soaked sheets.

He shook his head in dismay and headed to the bathroom. Kack leaned over the sink and splashed his face with the cool clear water.

Why can't I stop dreaming about Core? It's been over a year and a half. But still I can't help but think he's out there somewhere...

There was no point in trying to get sleep so Kack made his way down to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. He wore only a loose fitting robe and some cotton pants, not exactly the attire of a Jedi.

Kack had never really been to this room before and decided to wander about. The sound of the falling water was soothing to the padawan's mind as he walked about. Then much to his surprise he sensed a new Force signautre in the room.

What is someone doing up at this hour? he thought to himself.

"Hello, there. I apologize for interrupting, but I did not expect to find anyone here at this time."

He gave the woman a slight bow.

"I am Kack Mebuff, Jedi Padawan to Ezekiel Saska."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na opened her eyes and smiled at the newcomer. "Hello, I'm Quay'Na Rakai, Jedi Padawan to Helenias Evenstar. It's nice to meet you Kack. And no worries, you're not interrupting. I just got down here a bit ago myself." She took in a deep breath. "I love this room, it's my favorite...especially to one who can't seem to sleep."

[Kack Mebuff]

"I never really been here before. It is very calming," he said.

"I have never seen you before, m'lady, you said you are a padawan of Master Evenstar? How long have you been a member of the Order?" Kack inquired.

He took a seat on the edge of one of the more ornate fountains. Kack was drawn in now. He loved meeting new people and making new friends, especially within the Order.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na smiled up at him. "Yes, Master Evenstar is only my fourth master since I've been accepted in the Order. I've been a member for almost...six years. But, have only lived on the Temple grounds for about a year. I'm very surprised I've not seen you around."

[Kack Mebuff]

"Indeed, but it is hard to meet everyone. There are so many members these days."

Kack smiled warmly at Quay as he spoke with her.

"My recent absense from the Greater Jedi Order may also have contributed to our missing each other."

Kack fumbled with the one item he took everywhere, his sword Ruunya. It always hung at his hip. Even tonight as he stole out in the late hours of the night Ruunya sat upon Kack's right hip.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na nodded. "Well, I was away for five years, so I can't say much either. Master Ira zipped me outta here shortly after I got her when I was fourteen. She was a very good master...." She trailed off and smiled. Her first master had been like a mother to her and gettting by her death had been very hard, but Quay finally managed.

"Of course, Sage and Morgan were too. As is Helenias, she's great, very straight-forward and I like that."

[Kack Mebuff]

"I'm actually on my second master. I first trained under Master Dasquian Belargic, however, my disappearances and some confusion lead to us parting ways. Now I have just begun training with Master Ezekiel."

Kack paused for a moment.

"So what troubles your dreams, m'lady?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

His last comment took her by surprise. "Huh?" How did he know?

She couldn't deny it though, as trying as it maybe there was no hiding the ebbing feeling of guilt that her nightmares constantly brought to her attention.

"Oh...I take it you must be an empath?" Empaths could hone in on things like that in an instant.

With a defeated sigh, she spoke quietly. "I keep having this same nightmare since my mother passed away and I wish it would stop." She turned and sat on the ground from her kneeling position.

"I just don't understand it. I've done my crying over it, I've apologized to my family and they've forgiven me and the Watch isn't even on me. But, it won't stop."

[Kack Mebuff]

"M'lady, my handicap has gifted me with great Force sensing. It came mostly out of neccessity, I'm afraid."

He lifted his sunglasses to reveal his white eyes.

"It seems that you and I share something. We both have nightmares of our family. You of your mother, and I of my brother."

Kack shifted his weight on the edge of the fountain.

"I wish I could aid you in putting your mind to rest, but I cannot even do that for myself, it seems."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Wow... She thought as she saw his eyes, he was blind and she had no idea. She cleared her mind knowing he probably heard the comment, even though she couldn't actually telepathize willingly with anyone other than one's of the animal kingdom.

"You too, huh? Must be something in the water." She smiled gently. "I think, part of me still feels guilty about it, especially with Christmas coming up. I'll be returning home again and hoping that her death is in the past. I dont' really wish to feel that awkwardness, I just want to enjoy the holidays."

With a sigh, she passed her hand over the water, feeling the light spray from the fountains.

[Kack Mebuff]

"I understand. I wish I had a family to spend the holidays with. The Jedi are my family now."

Kack paused for a moment, replaying his past in his mind.

"My brother died over a year and a half ago. I still blame myself for not saving him, even though there was nothing I could have done. It's rather hard to defend against a thermal detonator, I'm afraid."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na nodded. "Yes, indeed. I'm so sorry, Kack. I know the feeling of helplessness that one feels in a situation you have no idea how to control. It's very trying to say the least. My mom's death could've been prevented, but one thing led to another and then the blaster went off between us and she was hit fatally..."

Quay shook her head. "I can't get the last look on her face out of my mind...disbelief, like she was telling me that she couldn't believe that I shot her. It was an accident..." She sighed heavily. "I want to just forget it, but it haunts my dreams and I'm not sure how to control that."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack's face turned sad.

"I am deeply sorry, m'lady. For I have seen your heart and now know its fairness. And no heart so fair should have to bear such grief and sorrow."

He placed a hand upon her shoulder.

"If there is anything that I can do you to help you with your grief, m'lady, I will."

With that he kissed her forehead lightly.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na sighed deeply after Kack kissed her forehead. It was always nice to know that someone cared. She smiled slightly and looked at him, taking his hand in hers, squeezing it lightly. "Thank you, my new found friend. Your friendship is more than a help in itself. Hopefully, my subconsciousness will allow my nightmare to pass soon. I suppose it will just take some time."

[Kack Mebuff]

"Yes, time heals many hurts, but still there are some wounds that even time cannot heal."

Kack was glad to have made a new friend, and to have found someone who understood his struggle with the memories of his brother.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"Losing a brother must've been horrible, I couldn't imagine losing my twin or my little sister." She told him gently. "I'm so sorry that you had to suffer that and still suffering it now."

[Kack Mebuff]

"Indeed, it was. But there really is nothing that I could have done, short of throwing myself ontop of the detonator."

Kack gave a slight smile.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"You can talk about death until one is blue in the face and still all you hear people say to it is...

The Force works in mysterious ways...I think, that is a bunch of crap. I've lost too many to death this year. A master, a mother and a boyfriend...if you can really call him that. All three were loved differently and all three still hurt like hell." She felt the gentle spray of water on her hand.

"My mother was probably the most surprising, being the way she died and the happenings before it."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack nodded his understanding.

"A mother is hard to lose. I lost my mother quite some time ago. A couple years after my father moved out on us. She fell into grief and despair."

He shook his head in dismay.

"Thankfully I was able to accept her death. My brother's, well that's a different story."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"Must've hit him hard?" She asked, already knowing the answer. Quay'Na sighed, she wished things had been different between she and her own mother. "If my mom wouldn't been so against the Jedi, perhaps she would still be here. But, she was a person who was always right, it was her way or the spaceway."

She looked at Kack and smiled gently. "I took the spaceway and it blaster burned her. You never argued with mother, simply because you were never right." Quay'Na shook her head and smiled slightly. "Mother doesn't always know best."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack couldn't help but smile slightly.

"My mother was a wondeful woman. Always took good care of us, even after our father left. He wasn't a good person and we were better off without him."

Kack's face grew solemn again, remembering his father.

"Nothing was ever good enough for him. He always tried to force us into things we didn't want to do, 'cause he thought we should be doing it. But... whatever."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"Perents are very strange beings , aren't they? I don't think science will ever know what is behind them." She grinned as she tried to lighten the mood a bit.

"Though, I did have quite a surprise a few days later after mother died. My little sister came to see me, so that was the coolest. I hadn't seen her except on Holo-projectors for like nearly six years."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack smiled at Quay'Na's talk of her sister.

"I am happy for you. Family is very important. And you have to love younger siblings," he said with a chuckle.

Kack dipped his hand into the fountain as he spoke.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na nodded. "Yes, Cheyanne is a sweetheart. We were always very close." She looked away from a moment. "She came all the way from Naboo just to tell me..." The Padawan stopped for moment and took a deep breath. "To tell me that she didn't blame me for what happened. I fell apart at that point, I couldn't believe that she came all that way just to tell me that."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack smiled at Quay'Na's story of her sister.

It brought back memories of when he and his brother were together, Swoop Racing around the galaxy. Those had been the days.

"When was the last time you saw your sister?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"In person, right before I left and joined the Order. Almost six years ago, I can't believe how time flies. My sister was amazing, it's funny how at that very moment, I looked up to her." She gave him a half-smile and looked down at the water.

"How long have you been with the Order, Kack? If you don't mind me asking."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack thought for a moment, like he was doing the math in his head.

"It's been twenty months since I joined. It seems like I've been here my whole life," he said with a smirk.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

I definitely know that feeling, Kack." Quay'Na achknowledged with a heavy sigh. "But, I guess, they will let us know when it's our time to shine as a Knight."

[Kack Mebuff]

"Indeed, it just seems as though that day may never come. No matter what we may do. But my warrior blood will not go unnoticed, for it has driven me to many adventures. Though a Jedi is not supposed to seek such things, they seem to find me more often that I'd like to admit, sometimes."

Once again, Kack dipped his hand into the fountain water feeling that it was cool, but not cold.

"Strange how everything here can seem so perfect from the outside, but the jaded may see that which lies beneath. That which is hidden from plain view and only those with subtle thoughts may see them, even from afar."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na agreed. "Yes, it seems no one can hide anything here. There is always someone who knows what's going on. In a few situations myself I had thought I had gotten by with things, but found that someone always knew when something wasn't quite right with me. Hence, your thoughts on my dreams tonight." She smiled.

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack chuckled for a moment.

"I apologize if my amusment is inapporopriate, but I was thinking that it's funny that such a thought could be spurred by something as simple as the water in this fountain."

He paused for a moment to explain.

"Feel the water. It's a nice cool temperature, perfect for the dipping of hands. It's not too cold, nor too hot. But this value is completely superficial. The water has no real use. It's too warm for drinking and far too cold for bathing or washing. Therefore it has no true use. I've come to realize that is how some of the Jedi here are. They are here for the title and its advantages, not for the actual responsibility that comes along with it. So they are superficial like the water, that have no real use or purpose."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quya'Na pondered on what he said for a long moment. "I don't want to be like that, Kack. I want to make a difference, like my first master did. She was the greatest, kind and knowledgable. Always knew what to say and just when to say it. I want to be like her. I want to be out in the vast systems making that difference. Not in some cold council chamber not just talking about how to make things better, I want to be out there to do it."

[Kack Mebuff]

He shook his head, "I do not refer to even those in the council chambers. For even they have their purposes. For they among the wisest and make many decisions which decide the fates of millions. Rather I refer to those who would rather sit at the Academy pouring over books and data pads in the library, as opposed being out there making the difference as you and I seek to. I refer to those who sit around idle while taking action only when ordered to or for their own advantage."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"That is very understandable, Kack. I know what you mean." She answered with a nod of her head.

[Kack Mebuff]

"So what brought you to the Order, if you don't mind my asking? Personal reasons? Felt it was your duty?" Kack inquired.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"Well, it was kinda my escape I suppose you could say at first. I was only fourteen then and things were quickly going downhill for me and getting worse by the day." She told him with a sigh.

"You see, I've had a connection with animals for ever since I could remember. They were drawn to me as I was drawn to them. I'd spend hours in the woods behind my parent home, just sitting and listening and then I began to hear whispers...must sound crazy..." She smiled and shook her head.

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack chuckled.

"No, not at all... I was told to come here by a dead guy! Please, go on..." he urged.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay smiled adn continued. "Well, I began to be able to hear what these animals said at a very young age, it was all a game to me. I didn't tell anyone, especially my parents...they'd had me committed. But, anyway, I'd gone to a small village fair with my parents and my aunt and uncle, when the dreaded day happened. The day that my life changed forever."

She paused. "The place was attacked by some wild Anoobas, beastly creatures with a taste for blood. They were searching for one of their own, a baby that was taken and I stopped them from killing a Corellian child with my telepathy. Didn't go over well with the crowds that saw it."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack nodded his understanding. He started with a sigh.

"I definitely know how that goes. I have never been the most accepted person. Back home everyone thought I was part of a swoop gang, just because I rode one. Even here, people see this brutish ogre on the outside with tattoos and piercings and are scared off. They never take a look at what lies inside. But what can you do? So many people are so shallow," Kack said.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"That's for sure, I had this gang here that tried to beat me up a couple of times, they almost got me the last time. But, luckily they got caught by Master Evanar and were exspelled indifinitely. Had I been in the shape I am now, perhaps, it would've gone better, but at that time...I wasn't. I was pretty darn pathetic back then...with the attempted suicide and all." Quay could speak openly about it, now it didn't bother her anymore.

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack's face grew solemn, "I am sorry for your suffering, Quay. There are many hurts for many people that I wish I could take away. But my desire to take away yours is very strong. And I am sorry that it is not in my power."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na smiled reassuringly at him. "It's alright, I'm pretty much past it. I had some really good friends and I'll never forget what they did for me. I don't know how I'll ever repay them."

[Kack Mebuff]

A smile spread across Kack's rough face once again.

"For that, I am glad. And perhaps one day I can prove myself to be such a friend to you as well."

He liked this new woman. Kack thought that they would become very close friends. And that thought lightened his heart, where he almost forgot what had brought him to the fountain room.

"So, come now, tell me more about yourself!"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na smiled. "I'm engaged to a wonderful man as of a few days ago. Though, he's in a shipping business and it's hard for us to see each other a lot. But, we'll manage." She paused for a moment and then continued. "So, is there anyone special in your life, Kack? If you don't mind me asking, of course."

Kack would be a good friend to her, she could tell already.

[Kack Mebuff]

"Well, you have my congratulations then," Kack said grinning widely.

"As for myself, no. I have not been romantically involved in some time now. My last 'relationship,' if you can call it that, was with a Sith. I've never been much of a ladies man. It seems that my looks are against me. However, what I lack in looks I try to make up for in charm."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

She didn't see anything wrong with his looks. "Well, I haven't a problem with you at all, my friend." She told him warmly with a smile. "I think, your handsome and any young lady would be honored to be at your side."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack could feel his cheeks turning red as he blushed. He always turned a bright shade of crimson when he felt embarassed.

"I thank you very much for your compliment, Lady Rakai."

Kack's face now looked like a tomato and he grinned from ear to ear.

"I am most flattered."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"Well, I only speak the truth as I see it." She smiled gently.

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack bowed, "I am most grateful for your kind words. It has been very long since such words have graced my ears. Longer than I would like to remember," Kack mused.

He took Quay's hand in his own and kissed it gently.

"Thank you, m'lady, for some renewed confidence long over-due."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Now it was Quay'Na's turn to blush and blush she did. "It was my pleasure, kind Sir. And I thank you for helping to ease my mind on my mother. You've really helped me out. I won't forget that." She told him.

[Kack Mebuff]

"Please, no thanks are neccessary. For now we are friends, and hopefully such events will become common place between us."

Kack smiled warmly, as was common with the padawan.

"I have gained a wealth in friendship today, Quay'Na Rakai. For that I must thank you."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay nodded. "It's always nice to make new acquiantences. I've been long overdue. So, it's a pleasure for me as well, Kack." She yawned.

[Kack Mebuff]

"Feeling tired again, are we?" Kack said with a smirk.

"Take rest. You are tired, you did not need to yawn for me to know that."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

She was tired, but was enjoying the conversation. "I am tired, but not that tired, at least yet. So, I will stay. So, in your free time, what do you like to do?" She asked lightly.

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack thought for a moment.

"Well, I used to ride swoops. But I don't have one here... yet. And I also play electro-guitara. For a long time I was in a band back home. Played some local watering holes, that kinda deal. I'm also into tattoos."

Kack rolled up his sleeves revealing the tattoos running down his forearms. They were tribal trees with many ornate branches.

"I have a few others as well."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"Wow, nice." She said with a smile. "I've often thought about getting one, but I wouldn't have any idea what to get. So, I just leave it at that."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack laughed, "Yes, many people are that way. And I am a firm believer that if you cannot decided what to get that you should not get a tattoo at all. Perhaps I could help you with a design. That is one of my other past times, art. I love to draw and paint. I know, I know, it's outdated, but still I love it."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"That'd be great, perhaps you can give me something unique. Something our of the ordinary."

[Kack Mebuff]

"I would be most delighted to!" Kack exclaimed.

"It's always a pleasure to do such work for someone."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"That would be awesome, Kack. Though, I'm still not exactly sure what I want." She bit her lip as she began to think about it.

[Kack Mebuff]

"No rush, no rush at all. Whenever you are ready I will gladly design it!" he said with a genuine grin on his face.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Sounds excellent." She smiled. "Hey, I've got another question for ya. I need to brush up on some hand to hand sparring abilities on the balance beam, would you care to help me out? You don't have to get up there, I just need someone to try and knock me off. I've been practicing blindfolded with orbs and my sabre, but it's not the same as having real combat."

She paused for a second. "And for the field I'm pursuing, I need all the balance I can get. My first master had me use the red woods of Endor to begin my training on. I used to run on the limbs of those trees all the time. It's not bad until you fall."

[Kack Mebuff]

Kack smiled. "I'd be glad to help you. I need all the lightsaber training I can get. I want to be able to master Form VII technique by the time I'm finished."

He paused for a moment, "so whenever you wanna get started just let me know."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"Hmmm, how about later on in the afternoon today? I'll give you my comm number. Eighty-nine, twenty-five-D. I figure I'll sleep in a bit today."

[Kack Mebuff]

"Sounds fair enough," Kack said grinning widely.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

The Padawan smiled as she glanced down at her chronomter. "Well, it's getting rather late and I'm finally relaxed again, so I think sleep will come fairly quickly. So, I will see you later this afternoon."

She stood and nodded in his direction. "It was such a pleasure to meet you, Kack."

[Kack Mebuff]

"The pleasure was all mine, Lady Rakai."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'na smiled and gave him a friendly nod. "I'll see you later, then."

With that, she took a deep breath and walked back towards the main doors to leave. The heaviness on her heart had finally passed and that was a very good feeling.