A New Chapter (Terran)

[Estelle Russard]

A quiet booth and a good book. A great way to spend an afternoon if one had the time and the inclination.

Which, for Terran Starek, he had managed to realise both. Good for him!

Estelle approached the table, recognising the Padawan from memory. She had seen him about the Academy, but so far, had not met him face to face.

"Hello Mr. Starek. I apologise for interrupting, but I thought now might be a good time to introduce myself.

My name is Estelle Russard - I beleive we have important things to discuss"

[imported_Terran Starek]

6,492 Years Before the Galactic Civil War

I seem to remember a time when true peace rested in our ranks. I seem to remember a day when the Light did not blind us to the value of one and other. Sadly, I feel that this time leaves us. As the factions grow, their interests peak like great mountains, dividing the praries of peace the Jedi Order has spent so much precious time cultivating. I feel that without the wisdom of foresight, these separations will wage war against the core beliefs of this great body and will destroy it.

Do not be afraid then, my friend, to rise against the alliances of both noble and corrupted factions. Do not be afraid to stand before your colleagues and your enemies, however strong, and preach the Truth of peace. Do, however, fear the power of your enemies. Do not attack them in haste nor in anger; rather, embrace them with love and nurture their repentence.

Remember this: The Force empowered the ancient Jedi with the secret to Life, and thus the Code was forged from the blinding rays of the Force itself. The Code, above all else, must be upheld.

--from "The Mutterings of an Old Fool" by Jedi Master Bin Ridara




"Master Russard," Terran stood up clumsily, knocking over his water which promptly soaked his lap. He laughed nervously, flashing a sheepish grin in the direction of the Jedi, and quickly gathered his book away from the mess. He had spent a good deal of time and troublesome effort acquiring the text at hand, dare he mistreat it. Scolding himself under his breath for being so ridiculous, he gathered his wits about him and began again.

"Allow me to try again," he said, a tone hinting at the fact that this was not the first time he had embarassed himself on a true first impression. "It is an honor to meet you, Master Russard." Terran bowed deeply to the Jedi, with a style and class not indicitive of the wet lap he now possesed.

"Can I offer you a seat?" Terran gestured to the booth seat across from his own. It was quite a bit drier than his own.

"I am glad you did approach, as I do believe we have important things to talk about. I had heard that you had been away on an investigative mission. I see that you arrived safely, for which I am grateful. How was your trip?" Terran was one for conversation and formalities, but he had a genuine interest in hearing about her investigation. He had heard that it had something to do with the dissapearance of a Jedi known as Reaperfett. Though he had never met this man, he had read much about him in the Archives. Being a bookworm had its advantages.

[Estelle Russard]

She smiled patiently as Terran collected himself and finally, as he offered her a seat, she sat trying hard to stiffle a small laugh.

Terran chattered on, perhaps it was nerves or perhaps it was simply the padawan's natural manner - either way Estelle thought him sweet for asking about her trip.

"Yes, the journey was a taxing one" her voice was almost sad. "I was looking for a friend and it was difficult to investigate his disappearance.."

Terran was seated now too and gave her is full attention. There fell a quiet between them.

"Things do not always turn out as we expect Mr. Starek, but I believe there is purpose in it, nevertheless."

She lifted her gentle eyes.

"Dont you agree?"

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Absolutely, Master Russard," Terran replied. He firmly believed that there was a definite, purposeful, intented connection between all things--great and small--and that it was indeed propagated and continued through and by the Force. Of course, the last thing he wanted to do was yap Estelle's ear off with philosophy and theory, so he kept the long answer quiet. "I agree with you fully."

"I'm sure you've probably spent most of your time back having to answer a hundred questions about your trip. Perhaps another topic for now?" He smiled, sensing that her response had become automatic and tired. All except the last part, which left seeds of thought growing in his head.

"Admittedly, I am anxious to begin discussing the 'important things' that you came to discuss with me," he said, his voice interested and curious. Events had taken place as of late that were not necessarily helpful to Terran's training. His Master, and one of his greatest mentors, had left the Order, seeking his own path of enlightment in the Galaxy. It left the Padawan with no one to finish his training. The problem had grown as he had been bouncing between random Masters for guidance the past couple of months. There was talk, however, of a permanent replacement to finish his training. A mentor of great skill to complete his apprenticeship.

"Perhaps I have some insight on what this subject may be," he said. "However, I would be wise to allow you to start, given my first attempt at starting conversation." He joked as he referred to the spilled water and his clumsiness.

[Estelle Russard]

"I think it would be safe for you to start" she smiled slyly and gestured to the glass, "the water is all gone. But certainly, why dont I begin."

She seemed to relax a little into her seat, her back not quite so ramrod straight reclined against the soft coushioning of the booth.

"It is my understanding that you need a new master to continue your training...You were formerly a padawan of Marcus Elessar I believe..?"

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Yes," Terran replied. Though he had put some thought into leaving the Jedi Order with Marcus and joining him in whatever quest he journeyed on, the invitation wasn't really there. Marcus had up and gone quicker than Terran could've noticed, and his last contact with the Jedi Master had been when Marcus had brought him back to Order during Terran's misguided spell.

"I have not been in contact with him since his departure, but I know he left me here for a good reason. He's not without reason and he's not without wisdom. As you stated, there was purpose in his choosing to leave." Terran adjusted in his seat as he spoke, becoming more and more comfortable in Estelle's presence. She was amazingly peaceful. Though Marcus was in complete control of himself (and his surroudings, generally) at nearly all times that Terran had been with him, Estelle had a serenity he immediately sensed. It was similar, yet greater, to his own aura of calm. It was refreshing.

"Despite those of my Master, my ideals remain here in the Greater Jedi Order. They belong to this temple, to these people, and to The Jedi Code. Even if it meant that I would lose my mentor and my teacher--" he often thought of Marcus as the father figure in his life "--it would be so. I could hear the call of the Force to keep me here."

"Of course," Terran began again, this time sighing heavily and showing a bit of aprehension to speak. "Lately, I have not been as strong as one might expect from a Padawan of my training. I'm sure you know about what happened." The server droid brought a fresh glass of water to him, and he took a quick drink to pause in his thoughts.

"Over the last few months, I've been bouncing around from different Masters within the Order, picking up tid bits of learning from here and there. It's been helpful, but not ideal. Nothing replaces the bond of a Master to his or her apprenctice. I've. . .I've missed it." His eyes met Estelle's again. They were gentle, perceptive and caring. Perhaps his, at this point, were a bit sad, maybe tired, but they were hopeful.

[Estelle Russard]

Estelle understood Terran's feeling of loss. Though Marcus was not taken from him in the complete sense of a life extinguished as was ReaperFett, he still was very much gone.

His influence, while it would never loose its impact, was now from lessons learned and experiences passed. It was removed from the immediate and the path Marcus and Terran walked were vastly different.

Estelle knew more about Marcus Elessar's circumstances of leaving than perhaps Terran realised. Just what his former padawan understood of it all, she would in time find out. The Knight remembered the intensity of Elessar's eyes, the hope, and even the regret that she saw in them as the Jedi Master opened his heart to her. And not for the first time, she wondered how things could become so complicated..

"A master and their padawan do indeed share a close bond that is not comparable to anything Ive yet to experience. But it can never replace the committment to the personal calling a Jedi has upon his or her life. You have chosen rightly to remain among the Order as it is in your heart to do so. As difficult as that choice may have been. A master is a mentor, a teacher, a guide - but cant ever take the place of a Jedi's inner conscience and will. It shows you understand this from your decision to stay."

She sat forward a little again, a slight gesture of privacy.

"I am aware of the incident with the padawan - your friend - Sejah Haverash.."

A color seemed to flush into Terran's face, as Estelle turned to the subject he had tentatively broached, but she did not lower her eyes to ease his discomfort, but instead held them steadily.

"Have you made steps to make ammends with Sejah...?"

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran sighed heavily as he poked around aimlessly in his water with a spoon. His eyes were glued on the table as his thoughts remained with him for a few more moments before he spoke. It was a difficult subject to discuss, but it was necessary. He could not hide behind it.

"Not yet, Master Russard." He wasn't proud to admitt it, but he had not been able to face his good friend. He was nervous and shameful, and it seemed that the biggest step towards recovery would be the hardest. He knew that he had to see Sejah sooner or later, but he was uncertain as to when that day would come.

"It's been. . .it's been hard," Terran's voice softened as he spoke. "What happened. . .it wasn't me. I keep pretending it wasn't me. I keep imagining that it was someone else and that I was watching this terrible, foolish person with no way of stopping him or calming him." Terran realized that he was becoming slightly emotional, his eyes watering up a bit as he spoke.

"Forgive me," he said, drying his eyes with a napkin. "I want to see him and tell him how sorry I am. But, to hurt someone I cared about like that. . .it's been difficult gathering the courage to face him again."

[Estelle Russard]

The look in her eyes told him she understood, however, Estelle seemed to come to a decision even as Terran collected himself once more.

"When you have seen Sejah, we will talk again."

With that she stood.

"Until then, you cannot move forward."

She placed a hand on his shoulder gently.

"I cant impart to you anything new, when your heart is burdened down carrying the old."

Her gaze was sure, before turning and leaving the table.

"See Sejah. Then find me."

[imported_Terran Starek]

It was then that he knew the turth.

He did not protest, nor did he question her words, for there was truly nothing to question. It was in his heart to resolve things with his friend, and Master Russard had made it clear that nothing could be accomplished until he cleared his heart of this blemish.

He took another long drink from his water, packing his things up into the small satchel at his side. Gathering his cloak, he stood, stretching his legs and sighing heavily. It was time. He'd been preparing for this for a week or two, and it was finally time.

Off he headed to find Sejah, the one he so brutally betrayed. Of course, at this time of day, Terran knew precisely where to find the mongoose. . .