As The Leaves...[Finished]

[Anthony Scott]

Blow Away
Staind



Live in my head for just one day
I see myself and look away
The road is showing now on my face
Soon I'll disappear
Disappear without a frelling trace

[Chorus]

Faces that I've seen turn old and grey
I've lost too many friends along the way
Memories I never thought would fade
They fade and blow away

I wish that I could disappear
Unzip my skin and leave it here
So I could be no one again
And never let nobody,
I'd let nobody
I'd never let nobody in

[Chorus]

So now the walls are closing in
Because in life you sink or swim
Sometimes these shoes don't feel right in my head
Feel like a book that can't be read,
A book that can't be,
A book that can't be read



________________________


It is a known fact to all that with love comes sacrifices and with sacrifices comes pain. That is not necessarily the case all the time, though. With love simply comes pain and sometimes, the pain is so great that one will sacrifice all to rid their soul of the foul being. Once the pain of a love gone unreturned, or a love gone sour wraps its icy cold hands around one's heart, there is no escape but to find a way to release the pent up feelings.

The day had been long and tiring and in a far off corner of an old abandoned warehouse sat a lone figure, rocking back and forth within the grasp of the darkness. A sound resembling that of a crying child could be heard eerily echoing through the rafters of the long standing building. What was unknown to those who heard it, though, was that it was the song of one who's heart had been shattered.

There in the far back corner he sat with a puddle of crimson red tears at his feet and streams of them continuously running down his pale cheeks. His deep brown eyes closed on the world as his heart ached like it never had before. Not even when he lost his wife or his parents had he felt pain like this. All was in consequence to unrequitted love by Quay'Na Rakai. The reason for her unwillingness to give their relationship a chance: he was immortal, a Vampire.

It seemed to be something that plagued him so. Not only was he a darksider and a Vampire, but he did have a rather 'soft spot' and found no problem in loving a Jedi. In fact, he supported her ways and knew that if ever they were to have sparked up a relationship, it would have worked wonderfully for him, for love was not about sides or what one was or was not. It was about the feelings they held for each other inside of their hearts. But that was all over for Anthony now, he had no heart left in him. Instead, it sat within the thousands of shed tears upon the floor in the puddle, alone as it had always been.

"This life -- is pointless." He finally spoke through the tears which he cried. Of course, no one was listening but perhaps his inner most being. "I can't live this way anymore! You caused me too much pain!" He shouted and the words echoed back to his ears and all was silent. For several moments, Anthony continued rocking back and forth until he stopped and opened his eyes. "I -- want to die." He whispered and slowly moved his legs away from his chest to give him access to his weapons belt. There he unbuttoned a sheeth about eight inches long and drew from it a silver bladed dagger with a black hilt. Though it was small, the double sided blade could be potentially deadly, and that was exactly what he was going for.

Taking the blade into his hands, the Vampire looked it over, pondering in his mind the meaning of this life. "I don't belong here anymore. There is nothing left for me." He mumbled quietly before looking down at his bare forearms. The black short sleeved shirt he wore proved to be useful for he needed not to roll up the sleeves to expose his pale flesh. Turning his left arm over, he studied the soft skin on the underside of it, close to his wrist all the way up to the notch of his elbow. "Quay'Na killed my love, and so, she kills me." With that Anthony quickly slashed at his wrist, leaving a deep, long gash which blood poured forth from. The pain he felt was incredible, but he felt free. The young immortal took the blade and slashed at his arm again and again, leaving deep gashes until he was a bloody mess. With trembling hands he switched the blade to his left hand and began gorging the right arm. Tears fell from his eyes as all of the pain and anger in his heart was released through this self mutilation. Soon, he hoped, he would die and end it all.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na felt lost, she had been wondering around Coruscant for days ever since her last talk with Anthony. Her heart had been his and suddenly it had been yanked out of her chest, mercilessly.

How could she accept the fact that he was now a vampire? Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks as she trudged on and wiped them away.

She had allowed the Force to guide her steps as she trudged on blindly. It wasn't long until she found herself at an old abandoned warehouse and she wondered why she was here.

Quay'Na felt something inside that...felt very familiar. She entered quietly and began walking though the darked area and that was when she heard it. The muffled cries...

Wide-eyed, she came upon him and watched in horror as he slashed at his wrists and forearms with the blade. "Anthony!" She screamed, before she even had a chance to think of what she was saying. "Stop! Anthony, Stop!!" She ran up to him and grabbed the blade, but not before he went to slash again and hit her hand instead while she struggled with him. The blade went right through to the other side and then was yanked out again as she managed to get it from him, but dropped it as she gazed at her hand in shock. "Oh, God..."

[Anthony Scott]

Through a torrent of blood tears, Anthony continued cutting himself until suddenly a familiar voice rang out, pleading for him to discontinue his actions. Immediatly following the words came a familiar touch, rough but in a caring way, attempting to pull the blade from his hand. It was then that he made the mistake of trying to get one more cut in -- and he slashed right through Quay's hand. Letting go of the hilt, the Vampire backed away in fear and horror as his eyes came to rest upon her hand, his own pain slipping from his mind.

"What have I done?" He questioned himself as a hard lump formed at the back of his throat. Anthony's eyes welled up with tears once again as he slowly crept toward Quay. "S -- s -- I'm so sorry." He stuttered but finally was able to speak. Shame crept over his entire being as he watched her pure blood fall to the ground. Had he no control, he would have finished her right then and there, taking advantage of the blood -- but he was no ordinary Vampire and in fact, had a great amount of control over when he needed to feed.

Though his own arms were a bloody mess, he ignored it and looked to help Quay, forgetting everything else he had previously thought. All of the pain and anger seemed to slip to the back of his mind and at the forefront: making sure she was okay. "Please -- I can help you." He whispered and moved toward her, reaching out his hands now covered in drying crimson streams toward her own wounded one. "I won't hurt you -- I promise." His kind voice resounded in her ears, the same reassuring one she had heard several weeks before. Something in his gentle brown eyes spoke of pain but a willingness to put everything aside for her once again.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Blood ran from her hand as the pain finally hit. She gritted her teeth and cradled her injured hand with her other. For a moment, Quay'Na felt a growing fear, but she pushed it aside as she looked into Anthony's eyes. He wasn't going to hurt her, she trusted him and allowed him to approach her.

"It hurts." She said through gritted teeth. "I...I need to get to the med center..." She almost felt woozey, she didn't like spilled blood, especially when it was her own. She fought against the pain and took a deep breath to clear her head.

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony shut his eyes tightly as he tried to think of something to do for her in the meantime. She had to get help, that was evident. Looking around, the Vampire saw nothing that would be of use to him until he thought of himself. In an instant he tore off his shirt and began ripping it in half. The front had his own blood on it, but the back was still clean and would provide a good temporary bandage. Beneath the shirt had been his body, though slightly pale, the rich olive color it had once been only was faded a bit. His body was well sculpted and, of course, this was a side of him that Quay had yet to see. For a moment, he saw her look at him in a bit of surprise, but the action he had performed had been out of a desire to help Quay, not impress her.

Moving in closer to the Jedi, Anthony looked deeply into her eyes with the same caring set he had possessed before. "Please, Quay -- don't flinch. This may sting a bit, but I know what I'm doing." He spoke in gentle tones, hoping she wouldn't hear the panic in his voice. With one hand he held hers and the bandage and in the other, he pulled a small sack from his belt. "There are healing herbs in here that I gathered from the gardens at the Jedi Order several months before I left. I've carried them with me for things like this." He smiled but soon went to work, pulling several small leaves from the pouch and placing them in her open wound. She did flinch, but only slightly. "Quay, block the pain from your mind. Use the Force, please -- if you don't, I won't be able to help you." He pleaded with her and continued packing her wound full of the leaves. As soon as that was done, Anthony wiped away the blood from around the entrance of the wound with a corner of the torn shirt before taking the large strip and slowly wrapping it around her hand.

"That's it, Quay -- don't move." He whispered as he reached the end of the length and tied it gently atop her hand. "Now I want you to put your hand against your chest above your heart and put pressure on it with your other one so to stop the bleeding, okay? You can't let it fall, you have to hold it there, okay?" He told her and smiled as he reached to help her to her feet. "I will take you back to the Order, but they cannot see me -- they'll lock me up or kill me if they do. I'll see you get there safely, though, okay Quay? You just have to trust me. I won't hurt you, I swear." He said softly and pulled her closer until she could feel his cool breath upon her cheek. "I only want to help you." He whispered and looked into her eyes once again, hoping that she would believe that his intentions were pure, for they were.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na trusted him, he wasn't there to hurt her. It was an accident. Though, he did startle her when he tore off his shirt. Quay's mouth nearly fell open as she saw how perfectly toned he was. Even with this slighlty paler appearance, he was still gorgous, she shook her head and brought herself back to the here and now and what was going on.

"I'll be okay, go ahead." She told him as he began to place the herbs into her wound. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, it hurt pretty bad. Reaching within herself, she touched the Force allowing it to flow around her and Force blocked the pain.

Once he finished wrapping her hand, she did as he instructed and placed it by her heart and held it with her other.

It felt good to be there with him, all her fears seemed to slip into nothingness. She looked into his eyes, those warm loving brown eyes of his. "I trust you, Anthony. And I won't let them see you...because...I care too much to allow that to happen." What was she doing? Her heart wanted him so badly, but in order for that, it would take alot of talking and...well, more talking.

Quay'Na stopped in her tracks, she was no long concerned with her injury and turned to look Anthony in the eyes. "I...do love you, Anthony. There is no denying it. I can't remove you from my mind, you are there and you are in my heart. I can't just walk away."

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony shut his eyes tightly for a moment and nodded. It was good that she was willing to trust and believe him -- and it was even better that he knew she would be okay and in the end, she would not blame him for the accident. Not only these things, but she was willing to go to lengths to protect him from being seen. As she spoke of how she cared for him, Anthony felt his heart being torn in two once again. "You either care about me or you don't. You once told me you didn't -- and now you've changed your mind?" He thought to himself, but then reasoned with his mind and thought about how difficult it would be on Quay if she attempted to have a relationship with him. She was a Jedi and he, a Vampire -- a Darksider.

Suddenly she spoke the words that he had so longed to hear from her lips. It was a breaking point for the immortal and he felt tears well up in his eyes, threatening to unleash themselves at any moment. "You -- you lo -- love me?" He stuttered with a hint of breathlessness. His heart stopped completely and he just stood and stared in disbelief. "She can't love me -- she even said so herself." He thought once again but shook the words from his mind. "How? Why? You -- love me? Me?" He questioned once again, forgetting about his own wounds and the ravenous pain that ripped through his body every seconds. "But -- I'm --" He paused and looked down at the ground, knowing that what he was had made her stop having feelings for him in the first place. Perhaps she had seen something in him that she had not seen before? Maybe she'd come to realize that love, no matter who was giving it, was the same from that of a Darksider or a Jedi.

"Quay -- I love you -- more than, than life itself! I would die for you, Quay. Without you I am nothing, I am incomplete -- I am dead." He whispered and moved closer to her, his eyes drowning in the depths of her own. Breath ceased to escape his lips in that moment as he held it tightly within his chest, wondering what was going through her mind -- wondering what she was feeling and what she was going to say to him. "What if she only loves me in the way that all Jedi love life? What if she only loves me as a friend? What if -- she's lying?" He thought to himself, but ruled out these possibilities. If these things had been the case, she would not be talking to him at all. He knew her well enough, in the short time that they had gotten to know each other, that Quay would not lie to him and when she said something, she usually meant it. This, of course, caused him to second guess her words of love. "I will always love you." He concluded in his mind, and knew that even if her love remained unrequitted, his would never cease to be for her heart.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

With her good hand she touched his chest, where his heart was. "I have wronged you, Anthony. All this time, I've only thought of what the Order would look at me as. Not what I truly needed or wanted." She sighed heavily. "I can't deny how I feel, I've denied it for days and it hurt so bad. It hurts now, Anthony. I know you probably think I'm crazy or I'm lying and you shouldn't give me the time of day."

She looked away as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I don't deserve you, Anthony. I've hurt you so bad, turning my back on you as I did." Quay'Na looked at him again as another tear fell. "I...I was afraid and I do love you. Why? Because, I loved you the moment I saw you, be it wrong or whatever. How? Because, my heart will not let go of you, however I tried to fight it and it was meant to..." She felt dizzy, she closed her eyes for a moment. Once she opened them again, she continued. "It was meant to be, I found you here through the Force. Anthony, I do love you and I'll be here for you. I promise." Quay'Na began to sway and shook her head.

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony couldn't believe everything that Quay was saying to him at that moment, but when he looked into her eyes, he knew that she spoke the truth. As her hand was placed upon his chest, he looked down and smiled, bringing his a free hand up to rest upon hers. For several moments, he could not say a thing and simply sat with her. Gathering his thoughts, the Vampire sighed and looked up at her with a smile upon his face. "I've loved you from the moment I first saw you, Quay -- I couldn't get you out of my head and when you left me that day -- I was so scared." He paused and looked down at the ground for a moment.

Upon catching his breath, Anthony decided to continue. "I had found something I'd been searching for for so long -- but then it up and left. I hurt so badly, Quay, but I know why you did what you did. That can't be changed now, but what you've told me here right now makes everything okay again." He whispered so as to not overwhelm her with his excitement. Smiling once again, the immortal shifted his weight and moved closer to Quay, still with his hand upon hers upon his chest. "I would go to the end of the galaxy for just one simple kiss from your sweet lips. I would do anything to hear you say that you love me. When you told me that you couldn't, I knew I had nothing more to live for, but you found me and rescued my soul again." He smiled softly and noticed then how pale she was getting.

"We can always catch up later, but right now, you need to get to the medbay." He said in a hushed voice and quickly scooped the young woman up in his arms. "You're safe with me, Quay'Na Rakai -- I shall protect you with all that I am."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"And I you, Anthony," she smiled and gently touched his face with her good hand as he scooped her up. "I want to be with you, forever. I promise you my heart." The pain in her hand was starting to throb. "There's so much I want to talk to you about, but I need to go into a meditative trance to stop the pain. Wake me when we're near the Medbay and I'll walk the rest of the way." Before she attempted to go into her trance, she brought his face to hers and kissed him gently on the lips. "I love you, Anthony Scott." She whispered gently.

[Anthony Scott]

"I want to be with you, forever. I promise you my heart." The words echoed in Anthony's ears for a moment as he stared into her eyes in disbelief. "Is this real?" He questioned himself but paid no mind to his inner thoughts, for at the moment, all he could think about was her. Smiling as she spoke, Anthony attempted to gather some words to describe how he was feeling, but just as he was about to speak, she moved and kissed him.

It was the most incredible thing he'd felt in a long time.

Closing his eyes for a moment, the immortal thought about what all of this meant for them now. It was but a second later that he moved closer to her face and gently kissed her upon the lips as she had just done. Smiling and pulling away, Anthony nodded and looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you Quay, and I will be with you forever. My heart is yours -- I promise you that with every fiber in my body." He whispered and kissed her on the forehead as he held her closer to his chest to balance out her weight. She was rather light and he was glad for this, for it would make their trip easier.

With a gentle sigh, Anthony moved toward an exit and looked out at the streets before looking down at Quay once more. "Rest gentle, my sweet dove. A Protector watches over you." With that, he moved into the busy street with just a few stares from those standing around. Closing his eyes as he walked, Anthony found strength in the Force despite the weak feeling in his legs. "I will get you there without interruption." He thought to himself, determined to help Quay receive the medical attention she needed. Dashing down a few nearby alleys, Anthony started gaining speed as he drew upon the Force around him. He now was approaching the outer grounds of the Jedi Order in a great time. It would not be too long before they would be there.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na felt Anthony's Force presence all around her as she concentrated, it only seemed to be a few moments that she was in her trance, before she felt him stop.

She opened her eyes and looked at him in a completely different light, her heart and mind belonged to him and she didn't want it any other way.

No one could stop this connection she now held with him. No one. With a deep breath, she also felt his pain and suffering from his own cuts on his arms. "Anthony, what about your own wounds? I can feel your pain." It was strange how she could feel him through the Force, but she could. She wanted to embrace the feeling and let him know just how much she herself had changed. So many things had changed. Her life was now with him and the Lost Jedi. How things could change in just the trial of a few days.

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony sighed and shook his head as he felt the pain in his arms growing in intensity. Gritting his teeth as it felt like a knife was being shoved into his shoulder, the immortal looked into Quay's eyes and forgot about his pain. "I'll be okay -- it's you I'm worried about. I can feel your pain." He whispered and looked around, noting that no one was watching them. "Perhaps I could get you a bit closer than we are." He nodded in the direction of the large building straight ahead from them. Of course, this he recognized as the Living Quarters. In his mind he could map out exactly where the medbay was in this building and it wouldn't take too much for him to reach it, if he went the right way.

"Here, I'll take you there so you don't have to use your energy." He smiled at her and gently scooped Quay into his arms once again. Quickly and quietly, the Vampire dashed off toward the Living Quarters, hoping, for the time being, to blend in with everyone else. He was aware that random people ran in and out of here all the time, bringing the sick to the medbay or wounded Jedi. Hopefully, he wouldn't be noticed.

"If I have to leave you quickly, please understand. If they catch me, I could be killed." Anthony spoke as he ran toward the building and darted around the backside. There on the outer wall was a door -- a door he knew he could get into and a door that would have no one in close range. Pulling all he could from his memory of the Force, the immortal attempted to open the door using telekenises. The door barely budged at first, but suddenly it flew open as he directed his entire concentration upon it. "We'll go in here. Shhh...." Kissing Quay upon the temple, Anthony dashed inside and quietly tiptoed down the hall in the direction of the medbay. "In no time we'll be there. If I leave you there, know that you'll be able to find me near here in Coruscant. I'll be within a few blocks always, but only at night. During the day I must rest until I can find a better method of getting around without having a reaction to the sun." He whispered and sharply turned a corner. Luckily, no one was down the hall and just to his left was the door and the glass windows looking into the medbay. "We're here." He smiled and pushed through the cracked door.

Moving toward an open bed, the immortal set Quay down upon it and looked into her eyes when suddenly an overweight woman appeared from behind a curtain. "Please, help her -- she's hurt pretty badly. I did what I could but she needs a professional." Anthony spoke as he kissed Quay upon the cheek and began backing up toward the door. The woman looked at his arms with a look of sheer horror on her face and attempted to say something but simply could not. "I'll be fine. I love you, Quay! I am with you!" He called and spun around quickly and dashed out of the door and took the route from which he came. Of course, no one saw the Vampire -- and he disappeared into the Coruscant night.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

"I'm with you as well, my love." She called to him as a tear ran down her cheek. Oh, how she didn't want him to leave, but he had too.

The love they shared was going to be so hard, but somehow, someway they would manage it. She knew it, deep within her heart, she knew it was what was meant to be.

"I'll see you soon, my love." She whispered as the other woman came over to her.

"What happened?" The large lady asked as she looked at Quay'Na's hand, but Quay barely heard her. The young Padawan sighed and closed her eyes as she felt Anthony's presence in the Force move further and further away.

[Anthony Scott]

"I will be with you soon, my love. Rest easy for I am always with you." The man whispered and knew that in Quay's heart, she could hear and feel the words. It was then that Anthony slipped into the night and disappeared, not to be seen until Quay'Na would find him once again.