Bleeding Scars......[Open]

[Xazor Elessar]

Here Without You
3 Doors Down




A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me


* * * * *

Rain poured down on the dark Coruscant night. It was more like a flood than a mere shower and it seemed to catch everyone up in the torrent of drops. Occasionally a crack of deep rolling thunder could be heard rumbling off in the distance, giving a warning to all residents that it was best to stay inside on this dreary eve. It seemed to be the going way anyhow, and very few people were seen on the streets and sidewalks. It was too cold to fair the wind and rain besides.

Streetlights lit the dark alleys and streets and lamps lit the interiors of buildings, revealing black figures against the lighter shades in the windows. Many gathered with their families for meals or sat around the holovision and watched the latest holovideo. Jedi sat in their temples and meditated while Sith merely sat in the local bars and drank quietly, brooding about the dank weather that kept them from causing trouble elsewhere. All seemed rather quiet, but the storm that was brewing outside resembled that of one inside the heart and mind of a woman, no, a mother.

There before a window on the second floor of Dexter's Diner stood Xazor Elessar, Warrior Jedi Knight of no Order for she was of The Lost. Sure, her heart was in the right place on her actions, but her choices had landed her on the run and had taken her far away from her young daughter, now a year old. "Valanya, how I miss you." She thought quietly to herself as silent tears rolled down her warm crimson cheeks. She looked out at the rain as it slowly dripped down the exterior of the windows, streaking it with a bit of dirt and perhaps, a bit of pain. "Oh how far you are from your source, little ones. Do you not miss your mother, the source of your life?" She questioned them in her mind as thoughts of the oceans far on the other side of the planet came to thought for just a moment. It was like she and Valanya, but in this case, she would never be able to return to her child. Instead, the child's father would raise her without any knowledge of her mother.

This broke Xazor's heart to no extent and at the thought, more tears fell from her eyes. She stepped toward the window and placed her hands upon the cool glass as she looked out at the street below. She had been standing in the exact same place for hours now, and her legs were feeling fatigued. "Oh how I wish I could just jump from here and end the pain." The thought touched her mind but she reconciled herself to the fact that it was foolish and she had not meant it, or had she? In a time of sorrow and grief such as this, the Jedi Knight knew not what to think. So instead of reaching for comfort, she stood by the window, her only true safe view of the world around her now. The only place where she could be part of the big picture without getting hurt.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"I know how hard this is"

Unlike normal, it was warm and comforting, a marked change from the normal coldness it had.

"But the roasd we have chosen is goign to be hard. I miss many things from our former life, I miss Helenias most of all. I havent seen her for so long now, not since just after Valanya was born. That hurts... but there's hope too. Hope that one day this will all be unnecessary. That peace can be found and that she and I can live together. I know what you feel.... but there is still hope and there is still a way. It's just up to us to find it"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor shook her head as more tears formed within her eyes and soon followed the others by falling down her cheeks. Lowering her head for a moment, the young woman sighed and turned around to face the man who had spoken. Marcus Elessar, the greatest man she'd ever known. Not only was he a Jedi Master, but he was a Warlord and held the most power that she'd ever witnessed in the entire galaxy. He was incredible, but in this moment, the words he was saying just did not make sense to her broken heart.

"How can you believe that anymore?" She questioned with evident angst. There was a certain stress and a great deal of worry that lined her face now. It had not been there in the past, but as of late, she was becomming ill due to all of the troubles in her life. It was that which caused her to wish negative things such as ending this pain. "I may never see my daughter again. I know where she is, sure, and I trust she is in good hands -- but Helenias knows you and can think of you! My child, my very own flesh and blood will never know me because her father won't tell her of the woman who had a wild spirit and left the Jedi Order. Why would he want her growing up with that thought in her head? He would never want her to take the same paths you and I have chosen." She lowered her eyes to the ground and took notice of her elevated heart beat. Never before had she really questioned Marcus's thoughts, that was, until now.

Shifting her weight slightly, she shook her head and began walking toward him with a nearly apologetic look upon her face. "It isn't easy for either of us, but it was necessary, I know. Isn't there a way? Isn't there some way that I could steal her away from the Order and all that it teaches? Steal her away from Dasquian, the one who has caused me so much heartache?" She pleaded with the Jedi Master before stopping but a foot away from him. Her cyan blue eyes stared up into his own radiant set. Even from staring into them, the woman could see his great wisdom and power. It was quite humbling, but still, she had to question why he was okay with everything that was going on. It didn't make sense to her one bit. "I -- I just need someone right now." Xazor spoke through tears and fell into Marcus's arms, her leader, her father. "I can't take this pain any longer."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Believe me" he said quietly, "Even in my darkest hours I've found there's always a way, always an answer. Only when life ends, does hope stop."

He stared out at the rain streaked window, thinking and contemplating.

"How about we go somewhere, away from this place for a while. I suggest to Trilith, which you have never seen - it is a place of wonder and beauty. Plus, while we are there, we'll think of this problem and find a solution. I'm sure somethign will present itself. remember, we have Natia to help us, she is clever and resourceful. You dont have to bear this burden alone, nor do you have to find a solution alone. Search yourself, you know this to be true. I dont say things to bring false comfort"

[Hunter Kincaid]

On almost silent feet the four-year-old walked. The storm that had been brewing outside earlier had finally unleashed it's fury and woken her up.

Hunter Kincaid, daughter to River quietly made her way down the stairs and stood in the darkened hallway. Simply watching the two Master's talk. She watched their mouths move, forming words that her ears could hear. Words that she could understand to a point. She tried to mimic the movement with her own mouth, just as her father and brother had been trying to teach her over the past few weeks.

Hunter could not speak, she could not get her mouth to move right, the small child spoke with her mind. Quite brilliantly, she did. But, it still didn't mean that she didn't want to try and speak like everyone else. And right now was one of those trying moments.

"Ugh," was all that came out of the child's mouth as she mimicked the adults, she crouched down by a small table in the hallway. Frozen in fright of being caught.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor nodded into Marcus's chest as he held her close. Though her heart ached, she knew what he said was true. "Somehow, you always work a miracle into every situation." She spoke softly into his mind through their Life Bond. The thought of Trilith sounded wonderful. "You mean, the place that you took me to in my mind when you saved me?" She questioned softly, recalling that time so many years ago when Marcus saved her life and forged the Life Bond between them. That too had been a miracle. "I would love to visit there." Xazor smiled.

In that instant, the young woman's ultra-sensitive ears picked up on a sound from several feet away. It was faint and rather distorted, but it was familiar, nonetheless. Moving her head to the side, Xazor locked in on the face of a young child immediatly and recognized it to be Hunter in the darkness. With a sigh, the Knight closed her eyes and pulled away from Marcus with a smile as she wiped the last remaining tears from her eyes. "Looks like we have company." The Knight moved toward Hunter and upon reaching her, knelt down by the table. "It's okay, young one. Come out here." She whispered and as Hunter cautiously crept from beneath the table, Xazor pulled the girl into her arms. It was a welcome feeling, holding a child again.

"Shhhhh, you don't have to try to say anything." Xazor said softly and carefully carried Hunter toward Marcus. "It is so late, little one -- you should be asleep in your bed." It was not a scolding but merely conversation to the temporarily muted child. Perhaps it would be a good idea for her to travel to Trilith as well. There Xazor could work with her further on speaking. "I think she should come with us. I think maybe even River and Ry-Obi as well." The Knight suggested, shifting her eyes toward the Jedi Master to see what he would say about the proposition.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Umm... who is this?"

Although he had it sort of worked out - there was a family resemblance to River.

"I dont know about children there - as well as it's beauty and peace, it's a fiercely lonely place. There's literally not another intelligent being within a parsec. But sometimes, it's a good thing to be alone to get your thoughts straightened. I'm afraid that's what we both need to do - things have gone wrong and we need to step back and see things clearly once again. I for one need to feel the grass under my boots, the stars in the sky and the natural noises of the night"

and to ponder on the riddles left behind by Turbogeek and Jade. I know Turbogeek was leaving the path of the Jedi and I need to think on what went wrong with him and avoid the traps. Plus tend their graves. Ahhh my friend, what would you think if you saw the fate that awaited you? what would you have done?

What would I have done, he wondered. What had caused Gregori Paladin to shoot Turbogeek? was it the death of Shay Kaylon? Marcus had known Shay resonably well, but he knew Turbogeek and......

He frowned. so much of a waste was the end of Turbogeek. He wasn;t goign to go the same way. He was going to make meanign for his life.

"Xaz, what did you know of Jedi Master Turbogeek?" he suddenly asked.