Good News/Bad News (Marcus Q'Dunn)

[Estelle Russard]

Estelle had returned to the Order Grounds in the late evening of the night before, and was very glad to be back home.

She had unofficially advised the Council of her return by leaving breif messages on their machines this morning after a sound nights sleep, and letting them know of her intention to bring them a full report at this evenings session.

But first, she had another meeting to keep.

Sitting at a corner table, comfortably out of the way of the hustle and bustle of the Grill's main traffic, Estelle sipped an orange juice and watched the door, awaiting the ellusive Jedi Master Q'Dunn's arrival.

Her lunch arrived in the interim - a grilled cheese sandwich and chips (her favorite) - and slathering a layer of red tomato-based goop on the fries, she set to the business of emptying her plate.

[Marcus Telcontar]

Somewhere, soem things never change. In this place, there had always been the man in the corner, in the shadows, always watching. They said he was a Jedi of some sort - even other other Jedi seemed fearful of him. No one really knew exactly who he was, most didnt even know his name.

But in the last few months, things had changed. The mysterious man had disappeared. A part of the character of this place had left. No one really commented, by the corner booth had been left empty. Just in case.

Tonight, the corner wass occupied. The cloaked man was there, the familiar pipe lit and the haze of smoke around him, acting like a shield to protect his id. His business these days took him elsewhere, but tonight, his business was here, in the unerring way that Jedi often had, of being in the right place at the right time. Thence, he watched for a while, before he tapped a patron on a shoulder.

--

"Ahem.... excuse me miss?"

The person had the look on their face like they were scared. "Excuse me miss, but there's a gentleman in the other corner who wants to see you"

--

He snorted. Gentleman? Hardly. But his message was conveyed and he would now wait for her to come over.

[Estelle Russard]

The last of the grilled sandwich disappeared into her mouth, with the exception of the corner crusts - she never ate those. It was a habit the Knight was barely aware she had.

Craning her head to search for the "man" who, according to the messenger, wanted to see her - Estelle had no problem in recognising the elusive Jedi Master. She smiled to herself - how could she have missed him.

But she knew the answer to that. He was found of her because he wanted to be, and not a minute sooner.

Getting up from her seat, the napkin removed from her lap to her near empty plate, Estelle moved with an understated gracefulness that was a natural part of her poise. Crossing over to the booth, Q'Dunn nodded her a greeting through the lazily curling pipe smoke.

"Master Q'Dunn" she said, taking the vacant seat opposite him, "Its good to see you again."

[Marcus Telcontar]

And here she was. From under the hood, eyes studied the Jedi Knight and his mind sensed her feelings.

He knew, of course. He knew Jedi Master Reaperfett was dead. There was simply no trace of him in The Force. Not even a deliberate hide within the very thing that bound the Galaxy together could erase a Master. He could feel the confimration as well from her.

"It is good to see you back again as well. I know you wish to report, but first.... I need you to understand why I sent you as I did. I want to know you understand. i also will need to clear the air between us on a certain subject, namely, myself. I'll need you to understand why I kept my real name from everyone, for in that there will be my final challenge to you as a Jedi. It is a challenge I made to Figrin D'An. It will be a challenge I make to others"

He took a puff on the pipe, then decided it was polite to tap it out. some beings thought smoking was rude or in poor taste. Or dangerous. For a human, apparently it was.

"Firstly, a Jedi Master's trial is designed to test a Knight where they are weakest, to push them and to make them learn and grow. Hopefully one will come out a stronger and wiser Jedi. Those that fail... well.... there has been few. For you, I did not choose a physical challenge. I knew that you could face it and be untouched by the dark side. so, for you it was a test of attachments - to realise that you had to put them aside if you had to. I personally have no qualms about relationships outside of the Jedi..." A hint of amusement crept into his voice - "But not at the expense of being a Jedi. If it came to it, you have to be able to put aside Kazaar. well... could you?"

[Estelle Russard]

All that she had prepared to report fell out of her head. She was immediately curious as to what Marcus meant regarding himself, but then this last question seemed to come at her from left field - as was apparent in the frown that crinkled Estelle's brow.

Kazaar? What did Marcus mean "put him aside" ? Choose the life of a Jedi over the close friendship with the Bounty Hunter? Or was it a more practical sense - be instrumental in Aurelias's apprehension should the man's actions dictate such a need..?

She had a sinking feeling it was the former that the Jedi Master was alluding to.

Kazzar and Estelle had fought beside - and come close to death for - one another many times over the years that they had been friends. Something deep and solid had been built between them - unspoken and even unexpected - but there, nevertheless. She cared about him more than anyone and deep down, loved him, inspite of his hard rough-living ways. These things had never been voiced between them, nor acted upon. But there was a connection there that was undeniable. What it meant for them, even they weren't sure. Their life paths were so vastly different that perhaps that is why they had, by unspoken consent, relegated any discussion of the issue to languish vaguely in the background.

But Q'Dunn's question forced it to the forefront. It was an issue, and suddenly, a very important one.

If she understood him correctly, and Estelle had that gut-feeling that she did - the answer was clear.

Kazaar would never put her in a position that would be at the expense of her Jedi standing, but this question was not for him. It was for Estelle and she couldn't answer it any way, other than truthfully.


"If you are asking me if I could disregard all that I feel for Aurelias in order to serve the Jedi Order more fully, my answer wont surprise you - but I think that it will disappoint you..."

She looked at Marcus as she replied, honest eyes in a quiet, calm face.

"No, Master Q'Dunn, I dont feel I could put him aside. We've been through too much together for me to say that I could."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Ah. Expected"

He paused to consider his reply very carefully.... very carefully.

"If I was a normal Jedi, I would be disappointed. You know the code as well as I do and the reasons behind it. I could say all sorts of things..... but I would be a hypocrite. I dont agree with the Code and I alwyas have been that way. I believe in many other things and I know that to remove them is to remove something vital form us. I believe the Old republic Jedi had it wrong to forbid what they did, for they denied the very essances that seperate us from droids. What I do agree with, is control. I feel that if Anakin Skywalker had been allowed to be human, but leanred control, the Empire would never have come about"

"You have, simply put, what I look for in a Jedi. Compassion. Loyality and honesty. And Love. I shall not hide it from you, the Code is a crock of poo in my opinion, which is why I never followed it and gone my own way, even"

Pause for her to think that one over....

"My real name is Marcus Elessar. Many years ago, I helped found the Jedi Order, but I in reality left it some time ago, because my beliefs. Yet I exist to serve, that is the true measure of a Master. We are servants of the Galaxy. It has been my task to judge Jedi because of my knowledge and power exceeds most, if not all, and you will be the last for that task, as I find my road now increasingly diverting from the path of the Order. One day you might find yourself following - I hope not, but maybe.... because I believe that a Jedi should eventually go beyond the Order and become more. Do you have the strength to do that? I dont know, that is for a later time to know. I told Figrin that day for him to decide if he will grow beyond the Order is drawing close for him. I see it may well for you too"

"You chose to do what is right, rather than what the Order would want. Maybe .... that day will indeed come. I see the potential" he added. "You are indeed ready to be promoted and take the next steps forward"

[Estelle Russard]

She sat listening to Marcus speak - the man himself was quite compelling, and adding the weighty words he was expressing, Estelle was quite moved.

The life of a Jedi was very difficult. Making right choices, most hard. So much was expected. And rightly so. A Jedi was not their own person. They were gifted by the Force, governed by the Code and compelled by the need to defend those less able than themselves. Anchored by the truths and laws of those who had passed the way before them, they were enabled to do great things and help bring balance to a galaxy overwhelmed by forces of darkness.

To question it - to even defy it, as Marcus dared to - was to walk a very thin edge. He was confident in his course,though she wondered if it were truly the right one. For Marcus, perhaps it was the only one. She admired the courage of his convictions and the wisdom which he spoke of regarding Skywalker - what a different place it might have been..She nodded her agreement.


As Marcus spoke on, Estelle bowed her head slightly as he voiced his opinion regarding her readiness for promotion. "Thankyou, Master Elessar"

If the Elders agreed with him, she would do everthing she could to continue to honor and validate their decision.

"Im sorry to hear you will not be at the Order any longer. You were one of the first people I spoke to on my arrival from Tr' Nuva and your encouragement has always meant a great deal to me."

He began to repack his pipe slowly, though not lighting it again yet.

"I trust though, somehow I will still be able to keep contact with you...?"

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Ah yes, I remember that. Was quite a while ago, was it not? I had a feeling you would make your mark and you have. To become a Jedi Master is a truly great thing, but remember, with your power comes resposibility. But I know you will be"

He thought about the last question for a moment. that was a dangerous question for one like him now, for a Jedi of the Order to knwo where he was, was potentially disasterous. However, looking at Estelle, he realised once again that he just did not trust enough. He always kept his sabaac cards to his chest - few knew what he really did. Or why.

Maybe of they knew why, they would understand.

Maybe he really could trust her.

Maybe he should.

"Estelle, ordinarly I wouldn't tell. The nature of what I do and the enemies I have don't allow that and frankly, if you had any link to me, it could cause you a problem within the Jedi. If the general Jedi found out, all hell would break loose. I dont joke, for what I am could potentially be worse than a Dark Jedi. Oh, you can sense I have no Darkness, but the worry, the strain?"

He relit his pipe, thinking this through. Somehow it felt right to say this.

In for a chit, in for a credit...

"Madam Russard, if you look through Jedi history, there have been any number of Dark Jedi and scores fo Sith. Most have not really been more than local issues. However, there have been 20 Jedi who willingly stepped away from the Order in the Old Republic, usually Jedi Masters. Their departure always caused sorrow and pain within the Jedi, for they were leaders, great beings of great power. Their loss was always grevious. The last.... was Count Dooku. I dont need to spell out what happened to him. He was a good man, who left for just reasons, but his anger overcame him and he Fell. And looked what he caused.

The Last of the Lost? Nay, not any longer. There is one other. There wont be any statues or memorials like there were for the Lost before, because I decided to erase myself from the Order. totally. There is no longer any record of whom I am or what I was...."

The pain and loss in his voice was masked well, but... it was there. The regrets and the loss of what he had done.

"But you have to understand, I saw no choice. As I looked forward in the future, such as I can do for that is not my gift, I saw that thre are enemies arising that Jedi solutions wont work for. There needed a free hand to deal with the corruption and evil. I saw that only a Jedi Master could have the strength to do this... and so I did. I left the Order and became Lost. I know how close to the edge I run... but there is little choice. I have to if I am to see the peace I desire so much. I.... desire to have a small farm on my homeworld of Ukio, to put my sword aside and live in peace. I wish to be a nerf herder. does that sound crazy? Maybe it does, maybe it is an impossible dream for a man of warfare. But it's one I'm willing to fight for - one where children dont have the threats we have now"

He sighed.

"My problem is that I'm a dreamer. I always dream the Galaxy could be better. Is that at all possible? am I wasting my time?"

[Estelle Russard]

Estelle understood the dream Marcus spoke of. She had grown up the daughter of a man who had a similar dream and knew the tranquility and peace of mind that came from honest work on your own land.

She also understood the Jedi Master's longing for peace in his time, to see the fall of those who caused such chaos and hurt in the world around them. It was what all the Jedi hoped for.

But all through the words Marcus spoke, the shadow of the fate of Count Dooku loomed. Surely that Jedi Master, long ago, had similar hopes as had Elessar.

Estelle sat uneasily in her chair, her misgivings for his path choice making her stomach flutter with nerves. The Order would sorely miss a Master such as himself and the years he had served it may be erased from the records, but wouldn't be forgotten, despite the lengths he had gone to.

Finally she spoke, as Marcus asked if such dreams were a waste of time.

"I think, if we didn't have dreams such as these, we may as well all be droids and wait to be programmed as to the life we live and things we do."

She took a deep breath.

"I cant say that your choice to leave the Order doesnt concern me. The brand that is removed from the fire doesnt burn the hotter, but in time cools and eventually is extinguished. I feel a great part of Dooku's failure was his isolation. Being severed from his peers - those in whom he could confide and who would rebuke where needed - left him without guidance. And without accountability."

She looked at Marcus, her own eyes direct, but without judgement.

"We all need to be connected in that way.

We each fight the rising darkness the best we know how, but I feel there is great danger and a terrible risk in the way of the Lost."

Estelle did not need to belabor the point, she had sensed Marcus was dealing with conflict of regrets and what he felt was inevitably his role to play.

"I hope you will allow me to remain your friend, stay in contact with you. I can be someone you can talk to if ever necessary.
But I just want you to remember - there is always a choice. I dont beleive a man's destiny is carved in stone - for good or for bad. As long as one has breath, one can still choose."

[Marcus Telcontar]

There was no denying it - if he had any doubts about his judgement on her, then they were all erased. He was also touched.

What a fine Jedi Master she will make.

"Aye, I will remember that Estelle. I make sure I remind myself each day. I know exactly what a tightrope I walk. I think... maybe I may return. I dont know, my path is hidden from me now. I can only walk forward, knowing the narrow path takes strength, skill and eyes open, for to fall is too easy. Now...."

He got up, as she did - and quite abrupty did something completely out of character - he gave her a hug.

"I will remember your my friend - even in the dark places I know I will go. It will give me strenght. Look for me at time you least expect - and for time when you most are at need. I will come - I will come for any Jedi in need, just call me. Farewell, Jedi Master Russard, bring honour to the title greater than which I know you will"

And with that, he was gone, not to be seen again for many months. The seat and booth tended to stay empty, for you never knew when that fearful "Strider" would be back, dark hood and pipe smoking.

But for Estelle, he left a parting gift on the table. A Comm unit. a special one with a single frequency preset.

Look for me at time you least expect - and for times when you most are at need. I will come - I will come for any Jedi in need, just call me.

[Estelle Russard]

Estelle watched Marcus until he vanished out of the doors of the Bar and Grill.

She sat at the table for a very long time, thinking on what he'd said, holding the comm unit in her hand.

The smell of the pipe smoke was still pungent, a lingering presence of the man himself, and her heart felt heavy. But it was not a heaviness that came from dispair, but rather the burden that was associated with duty and calling.

Elessar felt it. Had probably felt it all his life. Having carried it and now it was becoming more weightier than it had ever been before. Estelle saw it in his eyes. But she saw much more than just a committment to do what he thought was necessary. She saw the quality that would keep him through the doubtful times. It was the heart of a fighter and the wisdom of a Master to know there were times when we all needed some one beside ourselves.

Closing her fingers around the comm unit, Estelle got up from the table, paid for her meal from earlier and followed the same route to exit the Bar as Marcus had before her.

But unlike Elessar - who, for perhaps just a short while, had disappeared into the bustling chaos that was Coruscant - a lone figure, a Lost Jedi - Estelle instead turned her steps toward the Council Chambers.

It was time to deliver her report regarding ReaperFett's disappearance.