Love: Shy Away Phantom [Finished]

[Anthony Scott]

Faint
Linkin Park


I am
A little bit of loneliness
A little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints
But I can't help the fact
Than everyone can see these scars
I am
What I want you to want
What I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
So I
Let go watching you
Turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that i'm not
But i'll be here cause
You are all i've got

I can't feel
The way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
This damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I am
A little insecure
A little unconfident
Cause you don't understand
I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
I am
What you never want to say
But I've never had a doubt
But it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
For once just to hear me out
So I
Let go
Watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you're all I got

No
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me
Like it or not
Right now


* * * * *


Dear Quay'Na,
Hello beautiful! It has been three very long days since I have been able to look upon your gorgeous face, but something has come up that has caused me to wish to see you as soon as I can. If you have no plans for tonight, I was wondering if perhaps you could meet me after dusk - no earlier - outside of the "Harbor Inn" on the main strip.

I have something for you, so please be there, Quay. I really need to talk to you too about some things that I have been thinking about lately. This is one surprise you'll never forget! I'll be seeing you later, my lovely lady.

Forever Yours,
Anthony


* * * * *

To Anthony, three days time had been rather long -- and in fact, he had traveled back to Roon for two days to visit The Shrine. He missed his home, and while he was away from Coruscant, several things had been revealed to him, so to speak. The young man decided that he should return to Coruscant and seek out the woman who he had met just a few days previous so that he may speak with her of the many thoughts that now encompassed his mind.

It was now reaching eight o'clock in the evening and the suns had just set. A dark figure clad in a black trenchcoat with the hood drawn over his head stood in an alley just outside of the "Harbor Inn". A sad, slow melody came forth from the whistle upon his lips as he would occassionally glance up to the main stretch of road just to his right. His deep brown eyes possessed something strange in them, though -- something immortal.

Unsatisfied that Quay had not arrived by now, Anthony uncomfortably shifted his weight and pushed off from the wall to begin pacing as he reached down with a hand to feel the side of his coat. Right in the pocket where he had placed it rested something he wished to give to the young woman -- and right in his heart and mind were questions and concerns he wished to share with her as well. So many things had happened within the last three days -- things he knew she would find out eventually.

"Will she still accept me? What about my past? My future?" He questioned himself and nervously rubbed his hands together in the cool night. "Warmth -- guess I don't need that anymore." He thought to himself as his cool pale skin was uneffected by the chilled air around him. Sighing, Anthony decided that this was not the time for worrying, so instead, he moved toward the mouth of the alley and watched for Quay. Once he saw her, he would move in and quickly get her away from all of the other distractions of life. Tonight it would be strictly them -- and all of the things Anthony needed to tell her.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

When Quay'Na received the letter, a warmth filled her heart. Anthony was back on town and wanted to see her.

With the last finishing touches of make-up to her slightly tanned face, Quay'Na stood back and looked at her reflection. Perfect.

The white and silver dress she chose, was short and very form-fitting. Her hair was up with two ringlets hanging down the sides of her face. With a quick glance at her chrono, it was time to go.

The Padawan had called a cab and it was waiting in front of the temple as she exited and climbed in. It wasn't long until she was stepping out in front of the Harbor Inn. She paid the driver and took a deep breath as she turned to walk towards the entrance...

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony looked down at the crono on his wrist. He hissed in frustration before his eyes moved to meet the faces that passed the alley. Suddenly, he saw her and he stopped where he was. "Wow, she is so beautiful." The young man thought to himself before quickly jumping out of the alley and wrapping one arm around Quay's waist and placing a hand over her mouth.

"Don't fret precious, I'm here." He whispered in a gentle voice as they moved back into the alley, the darkness shrouding their identities. "I'm sorry for such rough handling, Quay -- but I wanted to surprise you without you making a big scene." He smiled gently and removed his hand from her mouth, running his fingers down the side of her face. Immediatly she would have sensed something extremely different about him. Instead of the warm touch he once possessed, his fingers now held an icy quality.

Looking down for a moment, Anthony sighed to himself as his mind filled with thoughts and questions -- things that he would need to express before it got to be too much to handle. "Quay, please -- come with me." He said gently and took her hand in his own before leading her down the narrow passage until they reached an old, abandoned bench. He motioned for her to sit before he did, and then upon doing so, he took both of her hands in his own. "First off, I want to tell you that it's wonderful to see you again -- you bring me so much joy!" He leaned over and gently kissed her lips before pulling away and staring into her eyes, a bit of light from a nearby lamp illuminating his face.

"Before you say anything, I want to tell you that -- well, I have a lot to tell you -- to share with you, this night. First off, I want to give you something." He beamed and from within his trenchcoat, the young man pulled a square black box. It was a velvet material and soft to the touch. As he opened it toward himself, he could sense the anticipation growing within Quay. "I hope you like it." He stated nervously before turning the box to face the young woman. Her eyes were then filled with the beauty of the object: a beautiful silver bracelet with small diamonds every few centimeters along the narrow band. He blushed and placed the box in her hands, hoping that she would first accept this rather special gift.

Tonight she would learn much of him -- but the bracelet he had presented her with was a completely different mystery when compared to Anthony.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na sensed a somewhat familiar presence, but it was slightly different now. It was as if a cold blanjet had been suddenly placed over her shoulders, making her stomach a bit ill.

But, all it did was to make her reflexes slower as someone grabbed her from behind, she was about to go into a defensive mode, but Anthony's voice eased her. Her mind was muddled with a fogginess that was hard to think through.

The Padawan allowed him to take her into the alleyway, really unsure of why they were there. She took notice of his hands, they were so cold. Was he ill?

She smiled at him, his warm smile enlightened her. She was so glad to see him. Quay'Na followed him deeper into the alley up to a bench where they both took a seat.

His voice was a melody to her ears, she loved his accent. But, it wasn't until he reached into his coat and pulled out that precious velvety box and opened it , did she feel just how much she loved him.

She was stunned by the beauty of the braclet, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. "Oh, Anthony, it's beautiful."

Quay'Na looked into his eyes, those gorgous eyes of his. "I don't know what to say."

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony smiled at her reaction and shook his head. "You need not say anything, my precious dove." He whispered and pulled the box into his hand once again before retrieving the bracelet from it. "Here -- try it on." He smiled and took her right hand gently in his before placing the band of silver upon her wrist and clasping it shut. In that moment, it was as if the silver morphed and the clasp disappeared, for when one looked at the piece, there no longer was a clasp.

"It's a friendship bracelet." He commented, hoping she knew about the 'rules' behind those. One was not to take it off until it break, and only then would a wish be able to be made and granted. The same thing was true, to a point, with this beautiful piece of jewelry. The only difference was, was that even if Quay wanted the bracelet to come off -- it wouldn't. He always wanted her to remember him, to think about him. Now she'd never forget -- and in time, if she wished to with all of her soul -- then the enchanted bracelet would break and she would be allowed to wish for better times.

All in all, it seemed like a good present to give someone who had been hurt. At the moment, she wouldn't understand the power of the bracelet, but maybe in time -- she would. Anthony hoped it wouldn't come to the point where she would not wish to think of him -- but he knew that if she did, it would probably be for a good reason. Sighing and looked down at the box, the young man closed it and gently placed it into Quay's hands. "I don't know if you're like most other girls who collect these things -- but you can have it. It has a mirror inside and with a face like yours, who wouldn't want to be looking into it all the time?" He grinned and gently leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. His lips were cold to her skin, just like his hands. Something was definatly different about him, but Quay would not be able to put her finger on it -- not yet anyway.

"I wanted to tell you a few things tonight Quay, and I want to know something first, okay?" He looked deeply into her stunning eyes for a moment and paused. "Am I doing the right thing?" He questioned himself, but decided that if they were going to make this work -- honesty was the best policy. "Would you be able to accept me if I was, say -- something else -- something other than what meets your eyes?" He questioned with curiosity, wondering what he reaction would be. Indeed, he was something else alright -- a few things that she would not be expecting. He hoped that deep down inside of her, Quay would be able to find love and acceptance for an outcast such as Anthony.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na smiled as he placed the bracelet on her wrist. It sparkled beautifully, with a deep sigh, she smiled at him. "It's perfect."

The Padawan took the velvety box it came in. "I'd love to have it , Anthony. It came from you."

Something was definitely amiss with Anthony this evening. Her heart though was ready for whatever he had to tell her. She wanted things to work out between the two of them so badly.

"I believe that honesty is the best policy, Anthony and I am here for you on whatever you need to tell me. I so want this to work." She squeezed his hands gently to reassure him.

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony nodded now that he was reassured by Quay. The squeeze of her hands was comforting and it allowed him a peace that he had been seeking for so long. With a deep breath, he gathered his thoughts and began. "I know you don't know much about me -- and in fact, I think I know more about you than you of me."

He paused a bit and smiled with a slight laugh. It was odd how he knew more of her than she did of him. This would change very soon, though, starting now. "Quay -- I'm not from around here. In fact, I was born on a planet in the outer rim called Valarea. It is beautiful there." He sighed in thought and looked down at her hands which he now held tightly in his own, drawing from her calm state. "I have a twin brother who's name is Dantae and, well -- let's just say he isn't the nicest guy you'd want to meet."

With a laugh, the young man looked deeply into Quay's eyes and felt even more confident than before. Hopefully she would understand and accept him for everything he was. "Our parents were -- well, you see, they -- they ruled Valarea as King and Queen." He paused and closed his eyes tightly, hoping that she would not yell at him for not telling her when they met, but there was no reaction. "Maybe she doesn't get it." He thought to himself. "I'm a nobleman -- a prince." He concluded before opening his eyes and looked at her face for an expression. This news was the least of his worries, though. There was so much more he had to tell her.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Another thing they had in common, he had a twin. She laughed slightly, but then quietly listened to the rest.

A prince? Now, that was something you didn't hear everyday. She was stunned, but she smiled warmly understanding why he'd only just told her.

"That's okay, Anthony. Although, I am stunned. I don't mind and your homeworld sounds lovely." She sighed and squeezed his hands again. "But, I feel that there is more to tell?"

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony nodded and sighed to himself. "Oh boy is there ever." He thought to himself and looked down once again, knowing that this second thing would be a bit more difficult for her to swallow. "Quay -- I'm sure you've noticed that I'm a bit -- different, tonight." He paused and looked up at her as thoughts swirled around in his head.

The young man shifted his weight nervously and tried to smile as best as he could, but it was no use. Quay would either accept him or reject him for what he was about to tell her. "I used to be a member of the Greater Jedi Order. I was training under Jedi Knight Oriadin -- a great fellow, might I add." He stopped in his words and looked down with a bit of regret. "You made the right decision, Anthony. It was your destiny." A voice inside of him reassured.

Looking up at Quay, he decided to continue. "I trained for a few years there, and remained a Padawan -- until I left the order. I left to follow a woman I met -- a woman very close to my heart. She's my godmother, Quay, someone who was close to my mother. Both of my parents were killed and she was the closest thing I've found to normality in the recent." He paused, realizing how many details he was accidentally leaving out.

"I left someone behind at the order -- a young woman who holds my heart close to hers still, I hope. My -- my daughter, Quay. I was once married but my wife was killed and now my nine-year-old daughter remains at the Order being watched over by someone." Anthony swallowed hard and looked up at Quay, knowing she would have questions, but there was still so much more to his story. "There's more, though. Tell me if you want me to continue."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na felt for him, all the death he had to live through. It wasn't fair, but then sometimes life isn't fair even to the greatest of people. He needed her, she could feel that.

Anthony was giving a part of his life to her as he spoke, a part that she understood. She nodded. "Please, Anthony continue. I want to knoa all about you." Her eyes stared into his warmly.

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony nodded and drew in another deep breath as his eyes met hers once again. "Wow -- she is so understanding." He thought to himself, but secretly wondered if what he was about to tell her would ruin that understanding -- and his chances of ever having her love.

"The r -- reason I left the Order was because, well --" He paused and looked down at their hands which rested in one anothers. A heavy feeling came over his heart, but something inside of him urged him to go on. "I left because my eyes were opened to the truth. The woman I followed told me of the lies that the Jedi had told me -- the Jedi speak of others as though they are evil beings and that the Jedi are perfect. Quay, this isn't true! In everyone there are good and genuine qualities!" He exclaimed but quieted himself for a moment as it seemed that she was not exactly following what he was saying.

With another heavy sigh, the young Anthony shifted his weight nervously once again and shook his head. "It was the way for me, Quay. The path of the Jedi -- I couldn't follow it. I knew that I was cut out for something else and so, I took this woman's advice to follow her and explore for myself another path -- a path that the Jedi have distorted." Again, he paused and looked deeply into her eyes, searching for some sign that she was connecting the pieces of the puzzle. Indeed, there was something there that told him she was beginning to understand.

"Quay -- I began to explore a place called The Shrine Of The Damned, and I discovered that the Jedi had twisted the truth about those who live there, who practice and learn there: the Vampires. There is nothing wrong with these people, Quay -- nothing! I couldn't believe how accepting, loving, and understanding they were to me! I had been blind all along! Then I came to learn that not only had the Jedi been wrong about these people, but others as well -- people you and I would never have associated with while training at the Order." He looked away from Quay as a bit of anger toward the Order built up in his chest, but he surpressed it, knowing that if he kept control throughout his life, one day he would be powerful and he would stop the spread of lies that the Jedi told.

With a quick glance at Quay, he offered a sad smile to her. "I tell you this not to make you fear me, hate me, or reject me -- I tell you because you need to know me for who I am. I cannot lie to you, Quay. I already care for you too much to ever think of that." He said and squeezed her hands gently. "There is one more thing that I have yet to tell you, though. If you do not want to hear it -- I won't utter another word, but -- if you really want to know who I am, than you must listen."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Vampires? Shrine of the Damned? She'd never really knew much about them, she'd heard a little. With a deep sigh, she wondered if whatever he was about to tell her next was going to blow up in her face. Quay'Na had a dark suspicion she knew what he was about to tell her, but prayed it wasn't so.

That would explain everything that seemed so strange tonight. The coldness in his touch and the 'come at dusk' no earlier. A sick feeling began to errupt in the pit of her stomach.

"I need to hear whatever you have to say, Anthony. Whether it be good or bad." Please, don't be what I think you are.....please!!!

[Anthony Scott]

Anthony closed his eyes and looked down before sighing heavily at last. "Quay, a few nights ago when you met me -- I was different." He began with the simple statement, hoping that this would slowly add up for her -- and she would not be completely shocked, but something inside of him told him that it was inevitable.

"I flew home that night and then something happened to me, something that even I am having a hard time understanding." He looked up into her eyes and wondered what was going through her mind at that moment. "She must think I'm aweful." He thought to himself but shook the negative feelings away. "The woman I followed -- she -- bit me." He then pulled away the collar of his cloak and allowed Quay's eyes to take in two small puncture marks upon his neck.

He dropped his hand and nodded as a sad look appeared in her eyes. "I'm one of them, Quay -- I'm -- a Vampire, a Darksider, but I'm not an horrific creature or anything! I'm just -- immortal and I still don't even understand that fully." He gushed the last sentance, hoping that she would still accept him for who he was -- everything that he was. "We can make this work! This doesn't change anything! You see -- I'm not like the stories tell, Quay! I'd never hurt you! I'd never try anything to make you stray from your path! I -- I love you!"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

This couldn't be happening, not again!!! Not only was he a vampire, he was a darksider, too! A slew of thoughts from being with Vega sudden errupted within her. The path of destruction that he took her down, nearly ending her life in the process.

A lump formed in her throat as tears formed in her eyes, she couldn't take that chance again.

Quay'Na looked down at the bracelet on her wrist, his gift of love. And yet here she stood, unable to move or speak...in fear of upsetting him so.

Those puncture wounds on his neck made her shudder, only three days ago, he was like her...now...everything that she felt towards him was slowly depleting.

"A vampire...." She finally whispered and closed her eyes as tears silently flowed down her cheeks. She didnt' know what else to say at the time, everything was so mixed up....her emotions whirled around, almost making her dizzy.

[Anthony Scott]

"Yes! But that doesn't change who I am!" Anthony interjected, not wishing to hurt Quay -- but he had to defend himself. "Quay, please! Don't cry, sweet dove." He whispered and moved his hand to whip the tears from her eyes -- she seemed distant, though, and took no comfort in his touch.

With a heavy sigh, the immortal dropped his hand to his lap and looked down as if in shame, as if he had done something wrong. "I'm sorry, Quay -- I'm sorry for what I am, but that doesn't have to change how you feel! I thought you cared about me, Quay! I thought we were starting to have something real!." He paused a moment as he felt his own tears rising to his eyes, and slowly one single blood tear streaked down his face leaving a trail of crimson. Quickly he wiped it away, still unaware that he too cried blood as did Alana. Shifting his weight uncomfortably, Anthony reached over to take Quay's hands in his own once again.

"Love doesn't go away over night."

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na stood quickly and walked a few paces away, more tears came. He was a Darksider, just as Vega.

The thought pierced her heart and her mind. She could not do this to the Order again, or her friends. She had finally redeemed herself and was on the right track...she couldn't see a darksider again. Quay'Na just couldn't.

She turned to him. "This has nothing to do with love, Anthony. It has to do with faith and the faith that the Order and my friends have in me. You don't understand...so many bad things have happened in my past..." She paused for a moment, trying to get a hold on the situation.

"I can not do this, Anthony. I can't." Her voice trembled.

[Anthony Scott]

"Why not?" He exclaimed, now feeling dizzy himself. "Bad things? So what? Bad things happen to everyone, Quay -- but ya know what? We learn how to deal with them, how to trust again!" He paused a moment and walked toward her.

Instead of attempting to touch her once again, the young man stood where he was. "Quay! Listen to me! Just because I am what I am, doesn't mean I can't love you! This is the most common misconception the Order teaches everyone! Just because I follow a certain belief doesn't make me evil!" He was on the verge of tears again as he looked upon her beautiful face in the moonlight.

"I -- I need you Quay! Why does this change everything? What if I hadn't told you? I love you and I knew you needed to know! I never wanted to hurt you!"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

She stared at him. "Do you think that this is easy? Do you think that walking away from you and never looking back is something I can just get over in the essence of one night? No, I can't! Gods, I just wanted something normal for once, just to for a man and a woman to fall in love and hold each other as the sun sets on the horizon...we can't have that. We can never have that, Anthony. We can never share anything in the daylight hours, we can't have a normal life...can't you see that?"

Quay'Na's heart was breaking at the thought of having to let him go, but there was no chance for them, no chance at all.

The Padawan hid her face in her hands as she cried. Everything was falling apart. This man that she wanted to know more, spend time with was a vampire....

[Anthony Scott]

"It's a disease, Quay! A medical condition! I cannot help its effects on me!" He was again, defensive. With a heavy sigh, the young man watched as Quay sobbed into her hands. "Do you think this is any easier for me? Do you think I like watching you suffer like this? Quay, in the few days I've been allowed to get to know you, I've learned so much -- I've come to love you and I could never hurt you." He knew that asking her to love him now was completely unfair, but something in him held onto that hope until the last.

"Please, Quay -- just consider it? We can make it work! I know we can! There are ways! I -- I would go to a specialist and see if they could give me medication so that I wasn't so sensitive to the light! I'd -- wear a mask, or a bag or -- something -- anything." It was then that he realized how this would never work. His immortal heart was crushed. "Never will I find someone to love." He thought to himself and now the tears cascaded down his cheeks like scarlet raindrops and silence fell between the pair.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Once her sobbing calmed, Quay'Na looked at him and saw the blood red tears that stained his cheeks. "I don't mean to hurt you, Anthony, but I can't do this. Please, understand me on this..."

[Anthony Scott]

"I can't understand it, Quay -- that's impossible." He stated with a hint of a growl. Anger, yes indeed, he felt it. Unbeknownst to Anthony, he had become everything he had once fought against, everything he once knew was wrong. Now he was eternally blinded to the light and it cost him the chance to finally be with someone, someone he truly loved.

More tears fell from his eyes and slowly Anthony knelt to his knees in the dirty street, placing his hands to his face and sobbing into them. "This can't be -- real." He cried out in mourning and soon forgot that Quay was still standing before him. In his mind, she might as well not have been. She didn't love him and never would -- he felt dead inside and wished it to be so.

"Fine. If you can't love me -- I can't force you to. Just -- leave me alone. I can't ever see you again. It hurts too much." He spoke brokenly as more and more crimson tears fell from his eyes. It was as if his very heart was bleeding as it shattered into thousands of pieces on the ground for men to trample.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na didn't want to leave him, she felt compelled to stay and comfort him, she just didn't know how to at the moment. Her own emotions were running wild, knew that she couldn't stay by his side as she had hoped. A relationship with him would never work, it just wouldn't.

How could things have fallen apart so badly, in so little time? It wasn't fair. This wasn't fair to either of them!

Damn the woman that did this to them! Damn her.... She felt that coolness and let it go. She took a deep breath and let all the anger go, flow out of her as if with a gentle breeze

This was why she could not stay with him, his anger would lead her atray without even knowing so.

"Very well, Anthony." She said in a calmed tone. "I will leave you and you'll never have to see me again...good-bye, my Prince..." With her head down and tears streaming down her cheeks she turned and began walking back down the alley way. Her heart breaking with every step.

[Anthony Scott]

The words cut at Anthony like knives stabbing his heart. Now torrents of bloody tears fell from his eyes as he unleased all of the pain and agony that his black soul felt at the moment. The funny thing was, was that he was still very much a regular being -- one who felt very deeply and loved even deeper. It appeared to him, though, that Quay knew this not. She assumed him to be a wretched beast due to his current condition.

Wails filled the cool night air as Anthony watched Quay'Na walk off into the darkness. "Good bye -- good bye sweet -- dove." He whispered in a broken voice, hoarse from the amount of crying he had been doing. Once again, the young vampire's hands moved over his face and he began to sob into them as before. His heart was crushed and whatever was left of his life was ruined. No longer was he a man -- no longer did he have a soul -- he was nothing and the event that had just unfolded defined his very being.

Anthony Scott was nothing by a phantom, condemned to lonliness for eternity.