Save Me (complete)

[Jacob Nives]

KMFDM - Save Me

If you don't know if
You have found what
You are looking for
The silver-lining always starts to fade
And what You don't know is that
You don't know the truth anymore
Now You try sleeping in the bed You have made

The feeling is gone and the circle is broken
Like water under a burning bridge
A million words but nothing is spoken
A deafening silence replaced by fear

Save me
I can't find my way home
The grace I've fallen from
The only truth I've ever known

So when You tell me what You tell me
I can't take it anymore
The same old story goes around and around
You think that if You speak a little louder than You did before
The point You make might somehow stick around

If empathy is no more than a token
I cry a river in the pouring rain
The princess still sleeps but she will be woken
Her kiss of love is killing me

Save me
I can't find my way home
The ground I'm walking on
The only friend I've ever known

Mother father
The battle I fight is for no one
No one but myself
Brother sister
The devil inside is my own now
There's no way You could understand
You don't understand

Mother father
The tears that You cry are for no one
No one but Yourself
Brother sister
I travel this road on my own now
There's no way You could understand


The Backstab had returned to Coruscant for the second time in a matter of weeks. Touching down in one of the public planet side ports, its crew of one disembarked and pulled up his hood, heading out onto the streets.

It’s all about timing, he thought.

Knowing when to act, knowing when to keep to the shadows. Knowing when to show your cards and when to keep them hidden… or something to that tune.

As he strode along the street, barely noticed by most, he smiled to himself. It was a small knowing smile, a smile that said he had the upper hand but was not about to boast that fact. The Jedi Order complex was his destination. It was a tourist spot, so thankfully he didn’t seem out of the ordinary. He purchased a guide from a loud-mouthed vendor and sat down on a bench near the foot of the steps. Raising the guide, he began to feign reading it, waiting for someone to appear…

[Quay'Na Rakai]

How long had it been since Quay'Na had been out amongst the living beyond the safety of the GJO? A month? A little over? It was hard telling.

But, since then she'd met her long lost twin sister, Yasmin Le'Kray and become quite good friends with Jedi Knight Dasquian Belargic.

It was time to start over, to begin her life again. To try and look past all the regret and shame her life had led her to and just go on. It was the best thing for her and she would do her darnedest to make better decisions.

Vega was dead....there she thought it and no tears, she'd gotten passed it. And Daiquiri was gone, hopefully not to be seen again.

No, this was a new start as she pushed the entrance doors open and walked out into the sunshine. It was going to be an awesome day....

[Jacob Nives]

As his eyes roamed back and forth across the pages, they would occasionally snap up to the doors of the Jedi Order. Once or twice he looked up and down the length of the street before retreating back to the dull diagram of the area around about the Temple (silently he wondered why people paid good money for this tripe).

Sure enough in time she appeared. It was quite a surprise to see her out – it had been a long shot expecting to see her roaming around Coruscant, but Jacob was pleased that she had progressed enough through her grief to be able to do this.

He rose casually to his feet and strode past the vendor once more, giving the guide to a person about to shell out their cash for it. There was his good deed for the day – now onto the bad. At a fairly slow pace, he began to walk behind Quay’Na, boots clicking as the buckles clacked together.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

The toy store was just down a few blocks, well within walking distance. She knew exactly what she was looking for a stuffed toy Ferret for Valanya, oh how that child had touched her heart.

She couldn't wait to see the look on the child's face when she presented it to her that evening. She and Dasquian were planning to meet in the main garden later with his duaghter.

The thought of seeing the little girl nearly melted her heart as she continued down the street. Clearly not noticing anyone following her.

[Jacob Nives]

Crowds were a handy thing. It was easy to move through one unnoticed. People tended to turn a blind eye to things that made sense, which was useful too. Say, for instance, a man moving as nothing but a dark blur. They heard his cloak snapping with the displacement of air, but marked it as a trick of the mind – too many holovids, too many evenings listening to loud music, too much alcohol. Brown in motion created a path for the hasted steps and soon enough Jacob was ahead of his quarry.

As she turned a corner to head down the narrow street that would take her to the toy shop, a man stepped out into her path.

“Evening, miss,” a gruff voice said from beneath a cowl.

“I’m going to ask you not to scream. It’s simply not necessary.”

And before any react could be made or a word said his gloved hand had seized her by the collar and everything was moving. The air passed by so quickly, everything a blur, that it must have been impossible to tell what was going on – but it stopped after a second or two, and Quay became aware that she was on a roof top, and moments ago her feet had touched down against metal grating.

“Again, I will repeat the request that you do not scream.”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

The Padawan was shocked to say the least. It had happened so fast, she really didn't have time to react. "Wha...what are you doing?" She was finally able to utter as her voice came back to her.

[Jacob Nives]

“… Don’t you recognize me?”

He was surprised. In the dark of the alley, it would have been difficult to tell Nives from any other, but now high above the ground there were no distractions or buildings to overshadow him. Still, Quay appeared to be oblivious to who she stood before. Apparently she hadn’t studied her loves killer very well.

“Perhaps this will help,” Jacob continued, as he reached up a hand to draw back his hood, revealing an expressionless face beneath it. Both eyes, one cyan and one milky white, were locked on the Padawan’s face awaiting some form of reaction.

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na felt the air being sucked out of her lungs as she placed a hand to her mouth. She felt dizzy and sick. "No...this can't be..." Tears stung her eyes. "You were dead, I saw you....I watched you die."

This wasn't happening! No, Vega was dead!

[Jacob Nives]

“Yes, it would seem that way wouldn’t it?”

Jacob clasped his hands behind his back, “But as you can see, I’m very much alive.”

He lowered his head a moment and smiled to himself.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Quay, but I assure you it was necessary.”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Once she regained her composure, she stared at him. "How could you? How could you do that to me?" Her anger had begun to rise within her. "Do you realize that I nearly killed myself because of you?! Never mentioning to me that you had a wife?!!"

She stepped back from him, she didn't want him to touch her!

[Jacob Nives]

“That’s good. Shout at me, let your anger out.”

Jacob wasn’t smiling, but his eyes were. He looked oddly pleased at the reaction he’d received.

“I had to do it for your own good, Quay… you have the potential to become something beyond what you are now, what the Jedi could make you. I wanted to show you that and I could not see another way to do it.”

He paused and lowered his head, stepping to her side, so that he was looking at the Padawan sidelong.

“You felt the Darkside didn’t you?”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

It wasn't anything that she had been proud of, but still she acknowedged it to him. "Yes, at one point I did. Right before I went and tried to commit suicide." Her voice fell to a whisper as she looked down in shame.

"It's not something I feel proud of."

[Jacob Nives]

“You should embrace it, Quay. It is nothing to be ashamed of.”

Suicide. Jacob smirked slightly. Had he really had such a profound effect upon her? Apparently so.

“I want to offer you another chance to experience it – but the offer will not stand long. The longer you stay within the supposed care of the Jedi, the more difficult it will be for you to realize your full potential. You will be weighed down by their pseudo-philosophies and in time, brain washed by their doctrines. Come now, while you still have your free will and independent spirit.”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na stared at him for a moment, listening to his words. Listening to first man that she had ever loved and knew that without a shadow of a doubt, there would always be a place in her heart for him and only for him.

Leave the Order? Leave her friends and her new found family?

She was suddenly confused, what about Dasquian and Valanya, they had helped her so much.

What about Sage? A slight bit of anger rose within her when she had thought about him, leaving her at the Temple for weeks at a time! To go off tralavanting with J'ktal or Kueller, leaving her alone! What kind master did stuff like that?

She shook her head. "I...I don't know..."

[Jacob Nives]

“Your indecisiveness alone shows that you are open to the idea.”

Jacob took a step closer, his head canting slightly. He smiled a kind smile, most unbefitting of a darksider yet which seemed to suit Jacob.

“You are just another student to them, Quay. Another drone, another cog in their machine – but you will be so much more with our help. My help. We have no other students… you would be our first, our only, priority.”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

The Darkside. She had felt it, it was strong, overwhelming...

For so long, she had been part of the Jedi, part of it's code. But, lately, she felt dettached even with everything that had gone on around her, her friends, her family...her life. Something was still missing.

There was still that void that held it's place within her that only Vega could fill.

And for the first time, she was afraid because of it. Afraid of getting hurt again.

Could this really be the answer that she had been looking for? Was this where her life was to lead her too? There were just so many questions and so few answers that went with them.

"I'd be the only one?" She finally brought herself to ask.

[Jacob Nives]

Continuing the circle around Quay so that he was now stood behind her, Jacob nodded lightly.

“Yes… and you would have not one, but two, masters focusing their attention on you.”

The darkside spread from the Lupine’s presence so much so that Quay would be able to feel it slowly smothering her. This was part of the intoxication she’d felt with him- the dark, the shadow, the evil. It was a temptation, a lulling siren that called to the minds of the weak and untrained.

He was now standing behind her other shoulder, and whisper: “This is a once in a lifetime chance, Quay.”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na closed her eyes and breathed heavily, she felt his presence slamming against her in waves. A feeling she had tried to forget over the past month or so, but now it was back.

Her feelings couldn't deny that she wanted to go with him. Even as much as she fought the urge, she could not.

She loved him and she needed to be near him.

Dasquian. A tender voice edged into her mind, no doubt the essence of her former master.

He doesn't love me though, Vega does! I know it! Was her only answer.

"I...I will go." She stumbled over the words as she turned and looked at him. "I want to be taught. Please, show me the way."

[Jacob Nives]

There was another little wph of displaced air as Jacob’s hood was cast back over his face, shrouding it in shadow. He set a hand on Quay’s shoulder and smiled thinly.

“Excellent,” his hand fell.

“We haven’t time for you to get anything from the Order, I’m afraid, but we have plenty enough at my home for you… clothes and such.”

Nives sighed a satisfied sigh, “I guarantee you will not regret this,” and once again Quay was plucked up into the air, this time from behind. It was a far less aggressive snatch than before, however, and once again within seconds she was back on solid ground, albeit a little windswept.

Jacob nodded down towards the bright lights of the port at the bottom of the street and, gathering up his cloak, said: “Follow me.”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Without as much as a word, Quay'Na followed. Her decision had been made and all that lay ahead of her was her new life....

Away from the Temple, away from her friends...away from everything....

[Jacob Nives]

As they walked through the crowds towards the ‘Backstab’, Jacob glanced back at Quay.

“Don’t worry,” he said in his most reassuring voice.

“You will enjoy this,” he added, his fanged grin half visible.

“Our home – your home – is out where no one will trouble you, and there is a lot of wild-life there. I think you will like it.”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

That perked her attention. "Wildlife?"

[Jacob Nives]

“Wolves, of course!”

Jacob looked back with a beaming face. It was common myth that werewolk and wolves did not get on well. This was a terrible lie, as Jacob himself proved many a time by hunting with said wolves.

“A few others species too, but nothing that can outnumber the wolves.”

He was silent for a moment.

“They can be your eyes and your ears, as you will know.”

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Quay'Na smiled, her communication skills would be able to continue and she was glad of that.

"I've communicated with wolves before on my homeworld." Fact of the matter was, that was the reason she had been bnought to the attention of the Jedi to begin with.

"Wolves are interesting, very interesting indeed." She told him as they continued on.

[Jacob Nives]

“You can meet them all when we get back.”

They entered the port and Jacob glanced up at a small map of the compound, locating the bay that the ‘Backstab’ was in. He led Quay through the maze of hallways until they finally emerged in the room which housed the YT-1300. He smiled – it was nothing spectacular, but it did its job, and he was growing rather fond of it.

“Here we are,” the ramp was already down, and a light was inside.

“I’m back,” Jacob called out, “And I have someone with me.”

[Daiquiri Van-Derveld]

"I see that. Welcome aboard, Quay."

Daiq emerged from the hold area, rubbing her hands on an old towel and doing more smearing of the grime than actual wiping off.

"Im glad youre returning with us. I think you'll like it there."

Stuffing the rag in one pocket, she smiled from one to the other.

"Are we ready to go?"

[Quay'Na Rakai]

Out of pure manners, Quay'Na bowed to her new 'master'. "Master Van Derveld." Her mind still lingered on what she was leaving behind.

Her friends, her master Sage, Yasmin and her 'real' faher. Dasquian and Valanya...especially Valanya. How she would miss the child.

But, she pushed it all aside and nodded towards Daiquiri. "I am ready."

[Jacob Nives]

“You are.”

Nives lead Quay up the ramp into the ship and showed her to a seat. As he did so, the ramp closed behind them and the engines of the ‘Backstab’ began to slowly pulse to life. Today was the beginning of a new life for this Jedi Padawan…

Continued here (http://meras.org/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=8310).