Lies [Closed]

[Abagael Zellan]

Sometimes even strong people need help.

Not physical help persay.... Just a listening ear. Abagael Zellan had never been one of those people. But things were changing. She was changing. Mark it up to having a son, becoming a Jedi, whatever you wanted to use to explain it; the simple truth was that she couldn't hide anymore.

There really wasn't anyone else she had thought of to talk to. Oh, there were those who were going to need to know, but it didn't change the fact that she wasn't looking forward to explaining. Thankfully, Abby had learned how to hide behind a mask of assertiveness.

The LQ halls were empty, but anything but quiet. Abagael had been standing outside his door for nearly a quarter of an hour. She didn't knock or make any noise indicating her presence.

"I need to tell you something."

Six simple words. Just six simple words would start it off. Abagael shook her head, her blonde waves shimmering. Maybe she'd made a mistake, she should just turn around right now and--

But the door opened, and suddenly Abby found herself face to face with the person she was placing her trust in.

"Hi."

[Hayes Muirso]

A familiar warm smile spread over Hayes’ lips.

“Hullo. Want to come in?”

He stepped aside and glanced back at Abby, noticing she looked a little… sedated, for lack of a better word.

“Something up?”

[Abagael Zellan]

With a quick nod, Abby briskly walked into his quarters, twisting one of the many rings that adorned her hand nervously. SHe turned to look at Hayes and suddenly, she couldn't act as if this were no big deal. Her face collapsed and she grabbed his hand, dragging him 'their' couch.

"Please...Try to understand that...I wanted to tell you but I couldn't..."

The woman paused and took a breath.

"I haven't been entirely honest with you Hayes. With anybody."

In her mind she had imagined herself explaining the situation in a graceful and poised manner, trying to help him see the logic in the situation.

"I'm not Abagael Zellan!"

Abby had never meant to blurt it out like that. She cringed visibly and then went on.

"Abagael Zellan died when she was eighteen years old."

[Hayes Muirso]

“I see,”

Hayes approached the situation diplomatically. If Abby wasn’t Abby, that didn’t matter too much to him. He could understand why some people went under different names – he knew some of the Jedi did – to protect themselves, or some such thing. It was a little bit more worrying if the rabbit hole was much deeper, but he had faith.

“Then who are you?”

[Abagael Zellan]

"My name is Ana Gallowac."

Abby--she'd gotten too used to using the pseudonym--began to bounce her knees up and down slightly, anxiously.

"I work for Dougray Zellan. Look...Abagael was in the media all the time because of her parents. But, there's a period of time when she dissapeared."

SHe turned to look at Hayes.

"Dougray Zellan killed his daughter Hayes. And when he realized what would happen, he had to cover it up. That's where I came in."

The woman was horrified to find that tears were flooding her eyes.

"I was in a bad place and when Mr. Zellan came to me with the proposition, I agreed. It helped that I looked like his daughter, but there were still a few things we changed. The miracles of cosmetic surgery.

I've been pretending to be his daughter so that he won't go to prison. At first,"

She swallowed, blinking back tears.

"At first I hated myself for doing it. I refused to see him, to take his money, but I still used the name. He told the media I was going through a rebellious stage. I cooperated eventually. I became lawyer, I had a son. But I've lied to everyone I know."

[Hayes Muirso]

Hayes squinted. This was a lot to take in. He brushed a hand through his hair as he leant forward and exhaled heavily.

“Wow, that’s some story.”

Living a lie, must have been hard. No wonder Abby- Ana- had wanted to join the Jedi. It was a good place to start over, to start a fresh … plastic surgery? That must have been some big pay-off. Hayes blinked and looked back at Ana.

“Are you going to tell anyone else about this, or did you just want to get it off your chest?” he asked, purely out of curiosity.

[Abagael Zellan]

"I don't know...I just..."

She looked away, biting her lip. Abby's shoulders trembled.

"I mean, I have to tell certain people here, but it just doesn't do much good. I have to be Abby. I can't stop being her,"

A jerky breath interupted her talking and Ana swore. She rose from the couch, salty liquid trickling down her face and shook her head.

"I can't...I have to go...I can't be like this in front of you..."

[Hayes Muirso]

“Sit,” his voice was quiet, but imploring, “Come on, sit.”

Hayes jerkily got to his feet and grabbed Ana’s hand before she could make a move to leave.

“You don’t have to do anything.”

[Abagael Zellan]

"Yes I do Hayes! I can't just vanish, people know me. I'm news, Hayes, the kind of person who you see in those stupid publicity magazines."

She didn't care that she was crying.

"I can't explain this to everyone. Do you know what will happen?"

Abby/Ana shuddered, growing cold in the pit of her stomach.

"First they will kill my son. And then they'll kill me. If I don't lie until the day I keel over, they'll make sure that day comes a hell of a lot quicker."

[Hayes Muirso]

“Have you seen where you are? This is the Jedi Order. People can’t just walk in here, totting guns and come for you. It’s Elysium, sanctuary,” he waved a hand around in the air.

“No one is going to even look at you funny while you’re here with us.”

[Abagael Zellan]

"But I'm not here all the time. Heck, most of the time I'm not here. I'm at the office, at publicity meetings, making appearences with Dougrey."

Wipiing her eyes roughly, the woman laughed half-heartedly.

"Lawyers aren't supposed to grow consciences."

[Hayes Muirso]

“Give up being a lawyer!” Hayes blurted.

“Isn’t this just evidence enough that you should pack it in and take up being a hippy full-time?”

[Abagael Zellan]

Give up being a lawyer? Abagael stared at him.

"Hayes... I could never do that. That's who I am. I haven't been able to be me since I was nineteen; that's the only thing that's mine, not Abby's. She hated law. I love it."

Abby shook her head sadly.

"I know I should. But I won't. I can't."

[Hayes Muirso]

Hayes flopped back against the couch and felt himself slowly being engulfed in it. He didn’t know what to say.

“…Tell me about who you were before you became Abby.”

[Abagael Zellan]

She was silent for a long time. It wasn't something that she normally thought about.

"I had two sisters, Leona and Vee. Our mother left when we were little, so our dad raised us. We weren't poor, pretty close though. I don't really remember much about being a kid."

She shrugged, uncomfortable.

"When I was sixteen I met this guy...he gave me some stuff, said that it would make me feel better. It did too. I spent pretty much all my time after that strung out on drugs. I left home when I was seventeen, came to Coruscant. I didn't do anything here. Just sort of went from place to place."

Abby looked at Hayes.

"I slept with a lot of people. I drank a lot. Did a lot of drugs. My sisters, my dad, didn't know where I was. I never talked to them after I left. It's not something I'm proud of."

"After that I became Abby. I met another guy, Sanis, lived with him and this kid for awhile. After that,"

The woman shrugged.

"I can't remember after that. Just that when I was older, I passed the bar, and got married. Y'know. Abby's life."

[Hayes Muirso]

Abby had lead a life that was almost a total oppsite of that which Hayes had experienced. He wasn’t sheltered, by any means, but he had always been cautious. His parents had both been heavy indulgers in the darker side of life in their youth and ended up washed up no-brainers by the time they were forty – something which he didn’t plan on doing. It wasn’t a rigid prudence; he just liked to look before he leapt.

“Soundssss,”

Quick, think of something non-offensive.

“Interesting.”

Hayes blinked. That would have to do.

“… Really, I’m not sure what to say, Abby. I’m at a loss. Sorry!”

[Abagael Zellan]

"Don't be."

Abby sighed and rested her head on the back of the couch. After a moment, she shook her head.

"I don't want it anymore Hayes. Any of it. I don't want the name, I don't want coverage, I don't want...Trent."

The mention of her son sidetracked her.

"God, he starts school next week. What would happen if I just...left him? Just dropped him off, and left. I could just not ever think about any of this if I just left."

She wasn't even aware that she was talking out loud anymore.

"Find some backwater planet and live out the rest of my days in peace."

[Hayes Muirso]

“This life might not be yours, but Trent is, Abby.”

He felt torn.

“I suppose there is always adoption but… I mean, he is your son.”

Obviously that would have meant something. Hayes gave himself a moment to think before he said anything else.

“Running away isn’t going to help.”

[Abagael Zellan]

Abby didn't say anything. It bugged her that the fact Trent was her son didn't dissuade any of her feelings.

Finally,

"I know it won't help. I just get scared sometimes. I never thought that it would turn out this way."

Hugging herself, Abby leaned forward.

"I haven't got a clue with what I'm doing to him. I shouldn't have a kid. He's going to end up so messed up. Did you know that I've never played with my son? I've never read him a story. I've never cooked him a meal, I've never even spent a whole day alone with him."

She turned to Hayes, only tracces of her tears now visible.

"What does that say about me?"

[Hayes Muirso]

He was going to be frank, “That you weren’t ready for a child? Or that you didn’t want one at all. There’s no shame in that.

Kids aren’t everyone’s bag and it’s easy enough to lumber yourself with one without meaning to do so.”

Hayes gave a faint shrug of his shoulders, “Do what you feel is right and you can’t go wrong, I guess.”

[Abagael Zellan]

She thought about that for a while. Both reasons were true. She hadn't been ready, and she still didn't want a child.

As with most emotional conversations, Abby felt drained. That in mind, she tried to lighten the whole depressing mood.

"You don't want him, do you? I'll sell him cheap."

[Hayes Muirso]

“I’ve had enough children for a couple of lifetimes, but thanks for the offer.”

He hazarded a small smile.

“If you’re serious about this, though, there will be someone out there who is just dying to offer him a good home.”

Hayes frowned, “It sounds like I’m talking about a puppy.”

[Abagael Zellan]

"No, I'm not serious. Not entirely."

She nudged him with her foot.

"Thanks for your patience with him though. I know he hasn't exactly been an angel."

Then, with a look of caution, she asked the question that had been toying with her thoughts.

"Are you mad at me? I'd be mad at me if I were you."

[Hayes Muirso]

“Nah.”

Hayes pursed his lips into a rather large smile.

“More concerned than mad, really. It’s not your fault that you ended up in all of this.”

[Abagael Zellan]

A sigh of relief escaped her.

"And...you won't tell anyone, right?"

[Hayes Muirso]

“No,” He shook his head a bit,

“Rangers honor... your secret is safe with me.”

[Abagael Zellan]

"Thanks."

Really, she hadn't expected it to go like this. All the men she'd known, had she told them, would have flipped. Mind you, Hayes wasn't like the corporate men she knew.

"Hey...I know I told you that I was with a lot of guys. But...that night, with you,"

Abagael shook her head.

"It wasn't like that. I want you to know, it wasn't like that."

[Hayes Muirso]

“Now you’re belittling my performance?!” Hayes gasped, striking a melodramatic pose, hoping to lighten the mood further.

[Abagael Zellan]

"I didn't mean it that way and you know it!"

She reached over and swatted at him.

"Y'know, you are without a doubt, one of the most interesting people I've known."

Ana pursed her lips together.

"What do you think of spontaneous things?"

[Hayes Muirso]

“I’m all for them. Nothing better than a surprise.”

As an afterthought, he added: “A good surprise, that is.”

[Abagael Zellan]

"How about we leave then?"

She sat up straighter, energized.

"I'll grab Trent, and we'll go. Not forever, just for a...vacation. Or something."

[Hayes Muirso]

“Go where?”

Hayes sat forward, suddenly feeling little judder of excitement tingle up his spine.

“I mean, sure! Sure that’d be great!”

[Abagael Zellan]

"Really?"

She was a little surprised that they were actually going to do this.

"Well uh...okay, I'll go get Trent and....How long do you need?"

Abby grinned.

"And where should we go?"

[Hayes Muirso]

“An hour tops.”

Hayes was bouncing his toes now. He suddenly felt eager.

“Where to go… well Naboo is a hot tourist spot right now. I suppose they would have tours and stuff… if that’s what you’re looking for?”

[Abagael Zellan]

"Anywhere."

Abby, Ana, whoever, got off the couch, a bit unsteadily. She smiled reassuringly at Hayes and then took a breath.

"I'll go and get Trent."

Her eyes were twinkling merrily.

"See you in an hour."

[Hayes Muirso]

Hayes got up immediately and huffed out a breath through pursed lips. This was a turn up for the books! First Abby was not really Abby and now he and she and the little <strike>brat</strike> boy were going to be off on holiday. He had no doubt that it would be pleasant and as he packed a rucksack full of what he thought he would need – clothes, toiletries, walk-man – began to grow more and more fond of the idea. Soon enough the hours time of preparation was drawing to an end and Hayes realized he’d been packing rather slowly so hurried to shove a last few things into his hold all.

[Abagael Zellan]

"I don't wanna go!"

The screams reached Hayes' door before they did. Abby was struggling with Trent under one arm and a suitcase held in the other. She knocked on the door with her foot, for lack of anything else to use, and when it was opened looked extremely apologetic. Trent however, looked only mortified.

"HE'S comin'?! You never said that he was comin'!"

Without a word Abby put down the screaming boy who crossed his arms over his chest and stomped into Hayes' living room.

Abby sighed.

"Sorry. Ever since school started...Doesn't matter what I do, he doesn't listen to me anymore."

Anymore? When had Trent ever listened?

[Hayes Muirso]

Hayes’ eyes followed Trent as the boy stormed in like a tiny thunderclap. He looked back to Abby and raised his eyebrows It would have been difficult not to feel sorry for her.

“Aren’t you looking forward to the trip, Trent? I’m sure you’ll get to see lots of cool things…”

[Abagael Zellan]

Abby smiled gratefully, relieved that Hayes was taking a shift. Trent had been hollering from the moment she'd collected him until now. Under normal circumstances she would have just hollered back but Abby was too tired now.

Flashing a thumbs up at Hayes, the woman unzipped her bag, which contained both her and her sons items and began to refold them, having only tossed them from drawers to the case.

[Trent Zellan]

Hayes was met with a most unattractive snarl.

"No! I don't wanna go, an' I don't want you to go!"

His gaze shifted over to his mother and his wide blue orbs narrowed dangerously. Trent stomped a foot on the carpeted flooring and pointed at her.

"It's all your fault! I wanna go back to Dad's! I hate you!"

And then he began to stomp toward the door, fully intending to storm past the two and back to his fathers.

[Hayes Muirso]

“Alright then. You can stay here and we’ll go.”

Hayes looked to Abby, “Isn’t that right?”

The Padawan waited a moment before continuing, to make sure Abby had caught on.

“Although I don’t know who is going to make your food or make sure you get better if you break something.”

[Trent Zellan]

If only he had been a bit older, if only he had had a stick...Trent really wanted to wallop Hayes. Turning around quickly, a belligerant look on his face, the boy let out a low growl. Looking at Abby, who he knew was tired, and then at Hayes, who he knew was infuriatingly uneasy to provoke, Trent decided that he didn't have to be older.

So, balling his tiny hand into a fist, Trent pulled back and dove his little knuckles into Hayes' leg. Abby screeched.

"Trent!"

He didn't even bother to acknowlege her. Glaring up at the man, Trent raised his voice to a shout.

"YOU BREAK SOMETHIN'!!"

Then he swung again.

[Hayes Muirso]

Hayes scooted over a step or two, wincing – despite the fact that the punch wasn’t particularly painful.

With pleading eyes he looked to Abby.

[Abagael Zellan]

Abby yanked her struggling son away from Hayes, pushing him roughly into the hall. SHe shot him a menacing glare, which he returned, before closing the door.

"Sorry."

Abagael rubbed her head and grit her teeth.

"I swear, I'm going to toss him out the airlock if he tries anything on the way. I swear."