Thinking About the Rest of my Life (joining)

[Dae Jinn]

She was strangely calm as she stepped inside the Great Jedi Order recruitment center. Her shoes made a light click as she made her way into the middle of the huge lobby. Slipping her red-lensed sunglassed off and hanging them from the collar of her little black dress, she didn't look the part of a wanna-be Jedi padawan. Or like a former Sith for that matter.

A few people in robes, she assumed they were Jedi as well, milled around, speaking to each other in hushed tones, not paying much attention to her. Dae was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea -- she was, after all, a "Sith". She had done some bad things in her life, and even though she had tried to turn her life around, she wasn't sure the Jedi would even accept her. But, she wasn't going to become stronger and be able to protect her family by doing nothing. She had already made up her mind that this was the next best step, and with a sigh, she made her way further into the recruitment center.

[Dasquian Belargic]

A familiar face was the one to greet Dae. Dasquians expression was a smoothed half-smile, but instead he was wrestling with himself as to how he should be approaching this woman who had plunged his life into complete depression for months upon end. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, he approached and bowed his head in greeting.

“Good day,” he greeted her with a strained tone to his voice – it brought back a lot of awkward memories just to look at her.

“Can I … ah .. help you with something?”

[Dae Jinn]

"Oh...frell," an embarassed expression passed over her face briefly before being replaced by what could only be called a sheepish grin.

"Uh...I was..I mean, I want to," she paused, taking in a deep breath. What a way to start out -- being greeted by the one Jedi who's life she'd probably ruined. Folding her arms across her chest, she let her breath out in a huff, before continuing. "I want to join the Jedi."

[Dasquian Belargic]

“Oh?”

A little flicker of confusion passed over his expression before Dasquian corrected himself, realizing that he could actually not feel a dark aura around the woman (then again he hadn’t the first time … but that wasn’t important).

“I see,” he had looked a little blank at first but now tried to resume the position of the one man welcome wagon.

“W-well… ah, Miss Jinn, why do you want to become a Jedi?”

[Dae Jinn]

"Yeah...well, like this isn't ackward as frell for me either, coming here after all the stuff I've done," she said, almost to herself. She returned her eyes to his face and continued.

"But, I can't do it anymore; I can't risk others lives and I can't hurt people like that now. I could feed you lines about seeing the Light, and wanting to do good for the world, but it wouldn't be true. I want to protect my family, I need to be able to protect them from the Darkside, but I'm not strong enough. I want to learn how to use the Lightside of the Force...And this is the best place to do that."

A frown curled down the corners of her mouth. "The hate isn't in me now, and I..I want to be good. I want a better life, without all the pain that ends up going along with the life of a Sith."

[Dasquian Belargic]

It was understandable that Dae would want to protect her family and escape the pain of the Darkside. It was an awful way to live and Dasquian couldn’t help but pity the Sith sometimes.

“As good as your aims may be, you will be put on a cautionary trial period before you are officially accepted, and the length of that period is entirely dependant on your actions and the Councils judgment.”

Dasquian wasn’t the voice of the Council as a whole, but was sure Dae would need to go be before them collectively soon.

“Everyone is deserving of a second chance in life, but all too often people’s intentions are not what they seem.”

[Dae Jinn]

"I understand," lowering her arms she bowed her head slightly. "I'd also like to apologise. To you, for what happened. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I hope I can...maybe one day try to make things better."

Dae fidgeted a little, waiting for his answer. She was sorry; she wasn't exactly sure what Sorsha might have done with Dasquian, but she had a few guesses. All of them would be..un-Jedi-like, and no doubt had bad consquences for him. She wasn't sure what to do now..except wait.

[Dasquian Belargic]

“The Darkside had a hold over you, and all your sins under it will be forgiven in time… it wasn’t your fault.”

Everything concerning what had happened with the Jedi Knight in that awkward point in the past had been cleared up now and any misunderstandings had been smoothed out.

“I will supervise your stay here myself,” he added, subconsciously taking Dae on as a ‘project’ of his own, feeling inexplicably guilty.

[Dae Jinn]

"Uh. If that's what you want."

She smiled a bit, looking over the lobby, still not knowing what to do.

"So...now what? I wait for the council or something?"

[Dasquian Belargic]

“I imagine there is at least one member of the Council already on their way here. A former darkside adepts presence in the recruitment center would not go unnoticed.”

[AmazonBabe]

Indeed.

:: AB answer came to Dasquian's last statement as he spoke to the Dark Sider... or rather former dark Sider... though that had yet to be seen. ::

:: She nodded in Dae's direction before looking at Dasq. ::

A quick summary, please?

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Yes .. please."

Came the serene voice of Navaria who had followed Ab into the recruitment center, studying Dae more then anything. She had memories, ones that weren't hers, of this woman. They ... well Dalethria and her were friends at one time.

[Dasquian Belargic]

“Miss Jinn has come seeking admittance into our ranks,” Dasquian replied, doing nothing other than stating the obvious.

“She claims to have turned over a new leaf, so to speak.”

[AmazonBabe]

:: AB considered this. First Inu had come stating he had turned over a new leaf, and now Dae. It was hard to believe all Dark Siders were suddenly turning to the light. Unfortunately, the universe wasn't THAT perfect. ::

:: AB looked over at Dae. ::

And your reasons for this sudden need to "turn over a new leaf"?

[Dae Jinn]

"It hasn't been as "sudden" as you all seem to believe." She tried to keep the defensive tone from her voice, but, failed. " This isn't some simple whim of mine, I've thought long and hard about this. I've put my own life in danger by going against my old master and her underlings to do what I think is right. I've put my family in danger because I can't be a part of the Darkside any longer. When I became a Sith, I thought there would be no other path for me, but I was wrong. Others have shown me that there is goodness inside me, and if I have to work to prove that I've changed my ways to the Order, I will."

[Navaria Tarkin]

Navaria easily picked up on Dae's defensiveness but the Council had to be sure about former followers of the Dark first, before letting anyone inside.

"But .. why did you change? Yes, others showed you there was good inside you but that is not a reason. What was it that made you truly realize that the Path of Light was yours to follow?"

[Dae Jinn]

"Love did."

She felt her cheeks flush a little; it was probably not the right thing to say, but it was the truth. Her love for Jeran had made her realize she did not want to be a Darksider. He opened her eyes to something else; something different from the hate and violence of her other life. Before she had met him, she hadn't known any other life, and he had helped her change that. That love had made her realize what path she truly wanted to follow.

"I changed because of love, and it has lead me to the Light. Love is a weakness to a Darksider, and my love for a Lightsider has made me see the right path for me. And it is not the path to the Darkside."

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Love is weakness for a Darksider?"

Navaria questioned.

"We have seen the love of Darksiders... They have fought together in battle and have killed Jedi. Yes, love can help one see things clearly, but emotions can also cloud thoughts and confuse you. There must be more."

Dae truly believed what she was saying, the Knight knew this. It just wasn't enough for her, especially, to take this as the only answer. Her life within the Sith Empire had shown her as much.

[Morgan Evanar]

Morgan entered the room with a quiet that belied his size. He had been looking for Rie, since it was time for lunch. Instead of expecting to find her in the garden, trying to coax a plant into something, she was trying to figure out a darksider.

"That is not love. You're confusing love, lust and fondness. Its complex, like all deep emotion: but it is not love. They call it love for lack of a better word."

The Jedi Master looked Dae with an eyebrow raised. She was new to him, but apparently Dasquian was familiar with her.

"You're confused. Fundamentally." He paused.

"Do you hate yourself miss...?"

[Dae Jinn]

"Hate myself...What the frell?"

Dae glanced over at Morgan with an exasperated look. "No, I don't. And I am confused, especially by some of these questions -- I expected some suspicion at my reasons for being here, because of my past. What I did not expect was to have my reasons for coming not be enough to at least be given some sort of chance to prove that I have changed. Perhaps it was a mistake on my part even think about doing this, but it's what I want to do." She kept her voice calm and continued. "I'm sure not every person who has entered these halls has had a perfectly good and pure past, but the fact that they are willing to make the effort to somehow change for the better, become better people, should count for something. And if it doesn't, then maybe I've come to the wrong place, and will have to seek someone else to help me."

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Do you think we like asking questions such as these?"

She questioned lightly and spoke with great authority, but did not demean Dae in the least as she continued.

"We do not. It is our duty to ask them to protect the Jedi ways and to protect our members from falsities claiming, as you do now, that they are reformed. If we fail in our duty as Council and allow for a villain to walk amongst us, then we are to blame.

We take great care in questioning fallen members of the Dark Side, but of course welcome them if they truly wish to walk the path of light. We do not take your situation lightly at all, but neither should you of ours. If you can do that, then we can continue if you wish?"

The Knight offered a kind smile in hopes that she would.

[Dae Jinn]

"Okay." She stated simply, and waited for the Jedi to continue.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Good."

She returned to silence momentarily to see if there was anything else her fellow Council Members had to say.

OOC- um.. is there anything else? I was expecting a post since I've been away :p

[Dasquian Belargic]

Dasquian looked between the others in silence, not having anything else to say himself. It seemed Dae really had changed. Everyone did deserve a second chance, after all – that was what the Jedi were all about, helping people better themselves.

[Morgan Evanar]

Morgan smiled slightly.

"A lack of self-loathing is a good thing. You have to believe in yourself, as self-help as it sounds. Which you do." He stopped for a moment, and when silence loomed, he continued.

"I'm glad you apreciate the gravity of the situation, from both sides. Trust will take some time to build. I know: I've been in your shoes, sort of. It is our responsiblity to be cautious around Darksiders seeking the Light, and its our duty to be more careful with their training."

[Dae Jinn]

"I understand, I don't expect it come easily. I know I'll have to work hard to earn it. I'm prepared to do that."

[Navaria Tarkin]

Sometimes one had to be honest and truthful in the questions to get a truthful answer. Dae had been emotional, but her words came from her heart. She would learn in time how to control them and become a great Jedi.

"Is there anything else that needs to be asked? I personally think it is time to decide if Dae should be let into the Order."