One last shot

[Jackson DeWitt]

How long had it been?

Jackson looked at the doors to the Recruitment chamber again, and closed his eyes. He mustn't fear. Not now. That's what they all said. A Jedi does not know fear.

Maybe it wasn't fear he felt at all. Right now, he had invested his entire life in seeking this goal. At first, it was a boyish dream...whimsy to keep his imagination strong in Tattooine's boring wastes. His father had grudgingly called him a dreamer...saying that he'd wished he was born a "doer" instead.

Maybe. All Jackson knew is that there was a path set out for his life. Maybe it wasn't what his parents wanted. Maybe it wasn't what others said was possible. He couldn't convince others, or be bothered to. But he knew it in his heart, that he was to be a Jedi.

A cold wind blew, and Jackson drew in on his jacket. In his back pocket, he had the latest transcripts from Coruscant Community College. He'd passed his first semester. He didn't know if that would make a difference, but it showed that he was making something of himself. None of his family had ever gone to college, and Jackson had never had good grades.

In his front pocket was the remainder of his pay from the month. He worked days in the Jedi Academy training halls as a janitor...nights in the Bar & Grill as a waiter. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep his head afloat. Enough to keep reaching for his dream.

It still was almost too much for him to bear. Master Xazor, Master Evanar, and others had their doubts about him. They weren't even sure if he could be admitted into the order. He was hoping against hope that maybe he had found the fortitude within that they were looking for.

In his jacket pocket was a letter. It was from his father. He had one more week to make something of himself, and if he didn't, he was to come back to Tattooine.

The trip would most likely be a permanent one, and would shatter Jackson's dream.

Jackson pressed his hand against the wood facing of the door, and slid down to his knees, and closed his eyes.

"It's me again, whoever's listening. I don't have much time left, and I think this is it. I know what you have planned for me, or at least I think I know, I hope I know. I just...don't understand why you keep letting me fail. I know I'm not much to look at, but...I've known my entire life that this is where I have to be. I don't know anything else.

I'm running out of time. I'm running out of money. My family's running out of patience with what they think is my stupid dream. Please help me. I will give my entire life and everything I am to this, if you will only open this door."

After a moment of silence punctuating Jackson's prayer, he opened his eyes, and slowly pushed the Recruitment Center's door open, stepping inside on nervous legs.

[Dasquian Belargic]

The room was empty, save for a robed figure that stood with his back turned to Jackson, eyes roaming back and forth across various moving pictures on the wall of Jedi, Jedi in battle and Jedi around the Order. Arms folded behind his back, the sound of the door opening caused him to glance back over his shoulder.

“Hello, Jackson.”

Dasquian smiled, turning fully to face the familiar presence. For some time now Jackson had been working around the Order, doing his bit to help out, whether it was moping up, gardening, bartending or just lending a hand when he could. He certainly had a lot of patience and determination.

“What brings you here today?”

The answer to the question was obvious, but he asked none the less.

[Jackson DeWitt]

Jackson approached slowly, and bowed in greeting.

"Master Belargic."

He rose, swallowing a little.

"Master Belargic, I wish to join the Jedi Order."

[Dasquian Belargic]

“I see.”

Dasquian smiled somewhat. He knew of Jackson’s track record when it came to trying to join and felt sympathetic towards him, but if he had been turned down before it must have been for good reason.

“As you know, to become an initiate you must answer a series of questions satisfactorily. The first and perhaps most important is this – why do you want to become a Jedi?”

[Jackson DeWitt]

"It's my dream...my destiny. I can't remember a moment when I haven't known what I wanted with my life. No matter what anybody said, no matter who discounted me, I've known that I was meant to stand here, since the day I could say 'Jedi'."

Jackson searched Dasquian's eyes, hoping for a glimmer of approval. It was all the honest truth from his mouth, and it was very similar to that which he had said to others here before. If they were looking for something more, he hoped they would find it, though he didn't know where it would be.

[Dasquian Belargic]

He nodded and smiled reassuringly. There was a lot of compassion and hope in Jackson, more so than Dasquian had ever felt in any other recruit. He really did want this.

“Secondly,” he continued with the basic questioning,

“What do you understand we as Jedi both collectively and individually do?”

[Jackson DeWitt]

"The Jedi are an order of peacekeepers and guardians, and have helped to preserve the republic for over a thousand generations. They protect the innocent, mediate disputes great and small, and provide a bastion of hope to those who are lost, regardless of race, nation, or creed. An individual Jedi is a master philosopher, a warrior poet, and an enlightened soul. A Jedi must have the deepest committment, and the most serious mind, be willing to hone their minds, bodies, and spirits to the perfection that others demand of them, and must not fall to temptation or to the moment."

The words were easy for Jackson, and they seemed to pour out of his chest and off his tongue. They were heartfelt teachings that he'd read as a small child and carried with him through endless daydreams.

[Dasquian Belargic]

“I think that’s the best answer I’ve ever been given, Jackson,” he gave an approving nod.

“Do you believe it is within a Jedi’s limits to pursue combat as a means to solve a problem?”

[Ryla Relvinian]

I watched from the side of the room, having walked by and overheard the conversation. Searching back through my memory, I finally placed the newest recruit, as he had been turned away earlier in the year. At the time, we had made the difficult decision to turn him away, but his persistance had begun to show around the temple.

Dasquian could probably sense me, but the new recruit probably coildn't. Anxious to see if he had changed, I gently reached out with my mind, staying in the shadows and not speaking, for the moment.

[Jackson DeWitt]

Jackson paused, searching himself for his honest feelings.

"A Jedi does not pursue combat. It is thrown on him, and he deals with it with the natural grace that the Force gives him. There are always different ways to solve a problem. Combat is never by choice."

[Dasquian Belargic]

“Given a Jedi’s lifestyle though it may not be a choice we would take combat is forced upon us. Many dislike us, some even hate us, and will do whatever is within their ability to stop us. It can be a dangerous life. Do you think you could cope living like this?”

[Jackson DeWitt]

Jackson nodded emphatically.

"Master Belargic, I know it's no joy ride. I won't exactly be leaving a life of comfort for it, anyway. I know how it feels to get knocked down, but I've never stayed on the ground. I think that's what makes Jedi win. Perseverance."

[Dasquian Belargic]

“Indeed,”

Dasquian wondered why Jackson had previously been turned down. He was giving more than adequate responses to these questions and the Knight could see no reason to not allow him to join.

“You have answered all of the questions other applicants must field. I believe we are done here,” he paused, “Do you have anything else to say to aide your case, so to speak?”

[Jackson DeWitt]

"I..."

Jackson stammered for words, brow furrowing.

"I really don't know what else to say, Master Belargic. I don't really know how else to convince the Council of my worthiness. It's all I've ever been able to think about, though."

He tucked his hands into his coat pockets on instinct.

"I don't really know what else to do. I've been concentrating real hard, trying to figure out if there's something I should do...something I should say. Some extra bit of effort that I can pack between the lines. I've made ends meet here. I even went to college and got good marks for my first semester. I'm making as decent a living as I can for now...but I don't have much time left. My folks have told me that if I don't get done what I set out to do here, they want me to go back to the moisture farm."

He sighed deeply, and looked at Dasquian.

"Is there anything...anything else I can do? I've given it my all, sir."

[Dasquian Belargic]

“I don’t think there is anything else for you to do, Jackson.”

Dasquian’s words may have seemed somewhat somber, but he had a smile on his face.

“… Welcome to the Greater Jedi Order.”

[Jackson DeWitt]

Jackson's head sank at Dasquian's first reply. It all sounded like the same he'd heard so many times. He was prepared to hear it, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt each time...like a vulture picking pieces off of his dream.

"... Welcome to the Greater Jedi Order."

He stopped breathing, and slowly his head rose, eyes looking incredulously at Dasquian, mouth agape. When he did start breathing again, it was shaky and erratic.

"You mean...I..."

Jackson stepped away from Dasquian, and his shoulders began to heave. The strength seemed to leave his legs, and he slowly eased down to his knees. He tried to speak, but it was broken up by a choking sob, as he hunched over the ground in a complete emotional release.

:cry

"....oh God, thank you..."

[Dasquian Belargic]

“If you haven’t already,” Dasquian continued,

“You may move into a room in the LQ. You already know about Yogs, so I don’t need to introduce you to that. As you will be aware, if you have kept up on news around the Order, group classes are beginning soon which you can partake in until you are assigned a Master.

Good luck with your training and on your path to becoming a Jedi, Jackson. May the Force be with you.”

[Jackson DeWitt]

It took a few more minutes for Jackson to stem the tide of his emotional release. It seemed everything he had worked for in his life had accumulated into this moment, and the sudden realization of his goal was like a dam breaking across an open valley. He slowly rose to his feet, and wiped at his eyes.

"May the force be with you, too....Master Belargic."

Jackson took in his surroundings with wide eyes, and finally got his bearings, and ran out of the building, heading for the B&G. Now, an elated smile was on his face.