Starting Over: A Chance (Navaria, AB)

[imported_Natia Telcontar]

*Natia was out for a walk in the early evening. There is nothing abnormal about this, except for perched on her walking stick which is in one hand, is a snow owl. Dressed as per normal in a blue dress with a darker blue cloak. The hood of her cloack is up, making a frame around her face. It hasn't been that long since she was last out for a walk, but it was still odd for her to be walking in this area. She hasn't been in this area for a long time, but still, things happen, and things bring you back to where you started.

Things can also get you thinking back to your past and wondering if you might be different if you hadn't done something. Well, this is the case today.

A former Jedi Padawan. Not even past the basics of a Jedi, but still knowing alot about them. Trained on the Darkside, but not happy. A visit home only to change physically. Now back on Coruscant where she has been living for a short while again. Just so she doesn't worry her friends and family.

She wants to change. She wants to be something better then what she has become. She is right now a lost shadow, or that is at least how she sees herself. Lost and not able to do anything with herself other then wander and hope to find what she's looking for.

Just being a teenager is probably hard enough. Perhaps she is actually going through what every teenager goes through. Not likely though. How many teenagers have their hair and eye colours change on them. How many of them have an owl that travels with them. Not many. No, she's different from those her own age. She always has been. And she always will be, whether she likes it or not*

[Navaria Tarkin]

"A cred for your thoughts, young Padawan?"

Natia was so engrossed in her thoughts that she had completely missed the Jedi off to her side. The Jedi was sitting upon a intricate stone marbled bench, shadowed by the planted trees that surrounded this part of the Academy's courtyard. That caused much difficulty in identifying who spoke, along with the fact that the Jedi's face was covered by a hood. The Padawan knew it was a female by the voice, but it wasn't a voice that was recognized by any memory she had.

The Jedi's head rose a little higher as if studying Natia and her owl companion, but there wasn't any intrusive indications that the Jedi was trying to probe her mind.

"You seem quite troubled this evening."

Whoever it was, she sounded genuinely concerned and there was just something about her voice that was innately gentle and soothing.

[imported_Natia Telcontar]

I am troubled this evening. And I'm sorry about being here, in the Academy's courtyard even though I'm not a Jedi anymore.

*Natia looks up at the snow owl, Poledra, for a moment before turning her gaze towards Navaria*

Mind if we join you over there?? That is if we're allowed to stay for awhile.

I just find that this is a quiet place where I can think things over and try to figure out what I can do.

Before I forget and start being rude, my names Natia Elessar and this is Poledra, Pol for short.

*Natia nods up to Poledra as she introduces her*

[AmazonBabe]

:: AB had been taking a stroll with Navaria when they'd run into Natia. ::

We could say you're our guest, so yes, you are most welcome tonight in the courtyard.

:: She smiled. ::

That's a beautiful owl, Natia. She seems very attached to you.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Yes, of course you may join us. Perhaps some company might help to quell some of those troubling thoughts from your mind."

Rie was quite right. The owl was simply a marvel. Snow white with trims of black to accentuate its natural beauty. Navaria reached out gently with her mind to Poledra in warmth and greeting, making sure the owl did not feel left out in the conversation.

[imported_Natia Telcontar]

Poledra keeps me company when I'm lonely, and in exchange, I take care of her and make sure that no harm falls upon her. Though Pol is free to go whenever she wishes to. She just chooses to remain with me.

*Natia walks over to Navaria and AB so that they are talking across a distance*

If I may ask, what are your names??

**Poledra tilts her head slightly before stretching out her wings for a moment. After that, she settles down on the walking stick again which has a perch on top of it for her**

It seems that Pol likes the two of you.

[AmazonBabe]

:: AB smiles at what could be the bird's greeting towards her and Nav. She then turns her attention back to Natia. ::

My name is Rie.

:: She gestured towards Nav. ::

This here is Navaria.

:: She folded her arms under her cloak to protect them from the slight breeze blowing. ::

I am a Master and Navaria here is a Knight of the Jedi Order, and we are both Council members.



(OOC: >_< :: Puts foot in mouth. :: :x)

[imported_Natia Telcontar]

*Natia nods her head at the introductions, commiting names to memory*

I'm pleased to meet the two of you.

*Natia smiles as she looks up at Poledra. One Jedi Master. Who would have thought that she would meet up with one Jedi Master. And both, Navaria and AB on the Council. Her first impulse is to ask to rejoin the ranks of the Jedi but she quells that thought, knowing that she has to come to terms with her past so that it will no longer haunt her. But a past that includes the Jedi. Her body posture is that of a relaxed person, but through the Force, ppl are able to tell that she is not relaxed*

[Navaria Tarkin]

OOC~ It's all right. things happen

IC~ "Your mind is filled with questions."

The Knight paused thoughtfully for a moment as she removed the hood that hid her face.

"Troubling questions actually. Are you all right, Natia?"

She remembered this one now through her lengthy talks with Xazor.

[imported_Natia Telcontar]

*Natia sighs slightly, letting go of her carefully forced relaxed position*

Yes, my mind is full of questions. And as for me being alright, I do not know how to answer that. I am, but I'm not.

Though it is nothing new for me lately. It's become normal for me to have troubling thoughts, but it will not do my any good to dwell on them.

[AmazonBabe]

:: AB probed softly. ::

Do your troubles stem from family? Or past events that have affected you?

[imported_Natia Telcontar]

Both. My past and my family are both connected. If I think of one, I start thinking of the other. And I don't know if it's normal for that to happen, or how to stop myself from constantly having my thoughts go there.

I don't mind thinking of my family. I love my Mother dearly, but...

*Natia's voice dwindles to nothing as she tries to express her thoughts. She knows she's amongst ppl that won't ridicule her about them, but she can't help herself from keeping her thoughts quiet. She's been doing that for years now*

[Navaria Tarkin]

"We are here to listen if you wish and to respect you if not."

There was no pushing. Only Natia could make the decision to open up on her own.

[imported_Natia Telcontar]

*Natia takes a deep breath before going to continue to talk. She needs to say this. And Jedi are safe ppl to talk to*

But I can't help but wonder why my Mother, my biological Mother would be like. I never met her. My Father killed her and then blamed her death on me. And then I killed my Father, got beaten up by my legal guardian who I want to kill for taking my childhood away from me, and then I wandered the galaxy looking for a home, came here, met Mother, got adopted, left to learn the Darkside, and now I'm back here, knowing that I almost let my legal guardian get the best of me.

I've recently been reunited with one of my biological sisters who is older then me, and well, it seems that I'm older then her, but physically, she's older.

Oh, did I forget to mention that one of my older sisters wants me to tell her everything that I'm doing, where I'm going, and why.

And worse yet, I keep having nightmares of the day I killed my Father. I've gone through enough of a physical change, that nobody from my homeworld would recongize me, even if they had have seen me grow up.

*Natia sighs as she stops speaking, basically voicing things that have been on her mind*

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Ah ..."

Navaria closed her eyes, knowing what it was like being overwhelmed.

"... you are having difficulties because of how many twists and turns your life has been past and present. The future is uncertain so things feel unstable for you."

Her eyes opened and looked into the distance as if remembering similar situations that Natia had been through.

"Do you know what you want? In general I mean."

[imported_Natia Telcontar]

There is one thing that I want. One thing I have wanted for years, and that is to be a 'normal' teenager. I want to be able to be out late at a party and not worry about walking. I want to walk around without needing an aid of some sort. I also want to sleep peacefully at night and not have any nightmares.

I want to laugh with my Mother and talk to her about my problems.

But I know I'll never be a normal teenager because I always have to have a walking stick with me incase I get tired so I can just continue to walk. And yes, I have seen Jedi Healers before who tried to help me, but they have done all they can for me.

*Natia takes a deep breath and then sighs slightly*

I just want to be a normal teenager.