Why.... (Wei / Closed)

[Neyasha]

OOC: This takes place RIGHT after the B&G thread with shrin, and before the thread with altered beast.

IC:

Neyasha having just come back from the abandon lot outside the B&G. She has been fealing something inside her that she never felt before, since Shrin openly condemed her for what she was forced to become. She walks into her room, not closing the door completely, and over to a punching bag in the corner. She starts to kick and punch the heavy bag...

Neyasha attacks the bag with the intence focuse the she always has when she fights. It seems though as if there is a BURNING fealing in her, driving her to attack the bag, the shape of the bag changes to that of Shrin in her mind, and the the burning fealing drives her to continue to attack, but harder and more aggressivly.

The Bag is bouncing viloently under the assult that Neyasha is putting on the bag. The seems on the outter shell of the bag starts to rip.

There is a knock of her door as Neyasha does a solid roundhouse kick on the Bag, with enough force to cause the Bag to explode into 5 peices, the largest of which flys to the door blowing blowing it off it hinges.

Neyasha forces herself into her normal emotionless posture, though the look in her eyes says she is ready to kill. She faces the door...

"Come in if you wish..."

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei raised an eyebrow as he stepped over the fallen door.

"Such violence," Wei said calmly as he walked in. "Feeling a little angry, I suppose."

Wei found a chair and motioned for Neyasha to sit in it. "So what brought all this on?" Wei asked.

[Neyasha]

Neyasha trys to keep her emotionless exprestion, but fails.... She punches the remains of the punching bag that was still hanging causing another chunk to fall off... Neyasha just blurts out...

"Why does he hate me!! Why does he condem me!! Why can't he try to understand!! Why must he base his opinion of me completely on the memories of a girl who was three when I killed her father, and has NEVER met me untill yesterday!! Why do I feel like I want to do THIS... *Punches hole in the wall*... To his head!!"

She then takes a seat...and clenches her hands tightly, to the point where she is digging her fingers into her palms, causing them to blead slightly...

"He preaches peace, and non-hostility, but my mind is classifying as a class 1 threat.... If it were not for the fact that you are trying to teach me non hostile ways to solve problems... I WOULD HAVE HAD HIS HEAD ROLLING ON THE GROUND!!! I have ignored people that hated me in the past, but they hated me for things I did... Not for things that they were TOLD I did.... I have delt with harsh tones before!! But This time..... ARGGGG!!!...... When he told me I was as good as dead..... When he distorts the facts, Then calls me a FAKE!! Telling me that I am lying to him!!!....ARGGGG!!!"

Neyasha slams her fist into the floor causing it to splinter, and putting a one foot diameter hole in the floor....

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei shakes his head slightly, assessing the damaged floor. That'll take a while to get fixed. The wall too. But there were more important things to take care of right now.

"Well, let's see here," Wei said thoughtfully as he also found a seat and sat down. "Well, first of all, anger is a very normal emotion to feel. Do not feel ashamed of yourself because you are angry."

Wei shifted in his seat so that he could lean forward. The Knight propped his elbows on his knees and knitted his fingers together. "First things first. How to manage that anger. It's ok to be angry, but it's not ok to destroy things because you are angry."

Wei chuckled. "You've already done the first step to managing your anger. "Talking about it. Figuring out why you are angry. You are angry because Shrin said some things to you that were not very nice."

"Now the second part. Relaxing. Sit up straight and take deep breaths. Let your stomach expand, not your chest. When you breath in, count to 4, hold the breath for another count of 4, and then let the whole thing out in 4 counts."

[Neyasha]

"It can't be anger!! I have not even TRYED to get that emotion back!! I've never felt like this before!! I can't focuse!! My mind is clouded!! Why has my mind put me to being so un-efecent!! My body is not opperating at normal capacity!!"

Neyasha gets up from the chair, and heads to an Advanced Med-Kit, and pulls out a medical scaner... a hint of panic is leeking into her anger. She scans herself then looks at the results...

"Abnormal quanties of adrelin.... Random brain cell firing.... Threat center having 200% activity.... I must be malfunctioning...."

[Wei Wu Wei]

"First of all, young lady, you are not I repeat, are not malcfuntioning. You are being a human. And there is nothing wrong with that."

Wei sat and thought for a minute. "Now slow down. Remember those deep breaths I mentioned before? It's high time you started that."

Wei walked over to Neyasha and gently took the scanner out of her hand. "Neyasha, you are not a robot. You are a human being. A person with feelings. Those scientists did not take away your feelings. They merely hid your feelings from you."

Wei took Neyasha's chin in his right hand and lifted up her head so she was looking him in the eye. "People hide their emotions away all the time. They lock them up and act like they are cold and aloof. Just like you act sometimes. It does not take a scientist to take away a person's feelings. People deny themselves emotions all the time."

Wei took a deep breath. "You, Neyasha, are human. I cannot stress that enough. And you know what makes us human? Our ability to love, to care for another person. You care about your daughter enough that you would come here, to the GJO and learn the Force, in order to save her. Truly I tell you that if those scientists had taken away your feelings you would not be here. Nor would you be trying to regain your lost daughter."

Wei gripped Neyasha's chin a bit more firmly and in a hushed voice urgently said, "Neyasha. I want you to do the most difficult thing in the world for a human being to do. I want you to admit how you feel. I want you to tell me how you are feeling right now. If you want to show Shrin that you are not fake, then admit how you are feeling. Be real, Neyasha. Tell me how you feel."

[Neyasha]

Neyasha trys to take the deep breaths, but halfway through the second breath.. she turns and punches the wall putting another hole in it. Neyasha takes the last of the deep breathes and sits down, her anger still very present. She looks up at Wei when he lifts her head, not really hearing what Wei is saying since she is trying to sort out her clouded mind. Though she does register that Wei is bringing her daughter into the topic. She holds herself back long enough to let Wei stop talking. She then Stands quickly and grabs Wei by his neck, lifting him off the ground her one hand, squeeseing tightly, but not not tight enough to stop him from breathing completely. she the yells...

"LEAVE MY DAUGHTER OUT OF THIS!! SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!!!"

Neyasha then throws Wei to the wall but his foot snags the bed causing him to land on the bed but it also twist his foot into a painful postion. Comprehension then hits her causing her to actualy 'hear' what Wei had said.... the emotion comming from her changes quickly from Anger to Regret....

"I'm so Sorry Master!! I... I... I don't know what happening. I don't know how to deal with this... I don't know how to feal the emotions that I didn't actavate. I can't understand..."

Neyasha drops to her knees in front of the med-kit, and reaches for some of the more advanced equiptment...

"This is too dangerous for me... I should preform the procedure to lock my emotions away again.... I should not have jumped into things I was not programed to understand...."

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei got up and rubbed his ankle, using the Force to heal himself.

"First of all, and this is something that you must understand, our emotions often times come when we don't want them to. They cannot be shut on and off. And understanding does not come from programming." Wei's tone was calm and even.

"You are learning new things, Neyasha. Now, you can either run away from these things, or you can choose to confront them, learn about them. The only person in the world that people do not seem to understand is themselves."

Wei chuckled kindly as he stood. "I can understand your fear of what's happening to you. You are changing inside. Now put the med-kit down. I won't have you running to the aid of drugs and medical procedures everytime you are confronted with something you cannot handle. You don't learn anything that way. And you won't be learning alone. I'll be here to help you when you need it. I am called teacher for a reason."

[Neyasha]

Neyasha puts down the Medical equipment... Forces herself back to her emoitionless state, and says

"How can I deal with this. I don't want to hurt you. This hormonal and mental breakdown has alread hurt you. All I know is what I have been programed or what I have experienced since I ran away. This doesn't fall under ether category. How can you help me"

[Wei Wu Wei]

"It will take time. Remember first of all that violence will not make anything better. And from now on anytime you lash out violently because of your anger I will toss you around like a rag doll until you decide to calm down. But with any luck it won't come down to that."

"First and foremost (I've already said this several times already), admit how you feel. Talk about how you are feeling and why you feel that way.
Second, find something to take your mind off of what's making you angry by doing something else. Keep a diary, go for a walk. Play jacks. Just something to do with that energy. Try prayer."

Wei ran a hand through his hair. "I cannot guarantee that you'll be calmer right away. Do not be ashamed because you get angry. Do be ashamed, however, if you do something bad because of your anger. A man named Jesus once said 'Be angry, but sin not.' Keep those words in mind, Neyasha."

[Neyasha]

Neyasha knods in understanding at Wei's choice of disipline for damaging things with her anger.

"I am feeling Regret for hurting you... What ever the other was, It went away after I threw you across the room. I know Regret because it is one of the ones that I brought out with the help of my dead husband."

Neyasha stand, she is once again holding the appearance of the emomtionless warrior.

"Wasting words in writen or verbal form, is not an effective use of time. Walking for no reason, is a waste of energy, and the word PLAY does not regester in my vocabulary when mached with the word Jacks. The word SIN does not regester in my vocabulary at all. Please explane."

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei laughed. "Ok. There is a game called Jacks that involves a little rubber ball and several small spiny-looking pieces called jacks. They're also made out of rubber. You bounce the ball, then try to pick up one jack and the ball before the ball hits the ground again. Then you put the jack down, bounce the ball again and try to pick up two jacks and the ball before it hits the ground. And so on and so forth."

Wei took off his glasses and held them up to look at the lenses. "Sin is a fancy three letter word for doing something wrong. Get angry, but don't do anything wrong."

Wei noticed a smudge on his lenses and proceeded to clean the smudge with his shirt tail. "And as for wasting words and energy by writing or walking for no reason, next time you get angry and you feel like you might explode, just give it a try and see if it doesn't make you feel any better."

Wei inspected his glasses again. "Neyasha, there are things in life that don't make sense or seem like a waste of time, until you actually do them. Most children I knew growing up thought that school was a waste of their time. But now that they are adults they see that that going to school was not pointless because it helped to prepare them to learn how to do their jobs."

[Neyasha]

Neyasha listens to what Wei said....

"Is there anything else that may help me with Anger, that I would not regester as a waste of time?"

Neyasha looks at the floor...

"One other thing that may sound like a stupid question.... What is a Game?"

[Wei Wu Wei]

"The only stupid questions are the questions that are never asked. A game is a test of skill. Jacks is a game in which you test how quickly your reaction time is. We will be playing some games in the future during your training."

Wei chuckled. "Games are a good way to make friends. When you play with other people, you get to know them. See, while games are a test of skill, games are also very relaxed, and not at all formal like a training session."

[Neyasha]

Neyasha gets a questioning look on her face...

"But if all it's only a test of skill than wht would the scienctists not tell me of them..... Though I will look forward to these 'Games'."

[Wei Wu Wei]

"Why didn't the scientists mention games to you?" Wei grinned. "Cause they're up tight fuddy-duddies that aren't creative enough to challenge your mind and body with a few games."

Wei laughed a little bit. "We will begin our games soon enough. I recommend you get a nice relaxing shower, and some rest. The shower is for sanitation and it'll make your muscles relax. Being relaxed is very good for your health. Helps you to live a long life."

The Knight reached into his pocket and retrieved his crono. "Yeah, still have things to do. But do you have any other questions before I get going?"

[Neyasha]

Neyasha shakes her head...

"No master.... I do not, and will not take up more of your time."

[Wei Wu Wei]

"Very well then. I'll contact you when we are ready to resume training. If you have any need of me, find me. I'll be happy to help you with whatever you need."

Wei carefully stepped over the fallen door and out into the hall. "And one more thing: call the staff and have them repair the door, the wall, and the floor."

Then he left before Neyasha could say a word.