Jedi Pilgrimige: Pilgrimige Concept

[Pierce Tondry]

"The existence of life was once but an idea of inanimate objects." --speaker unknown

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No matter how often Pierce entered the main room of the Jedi Archives, he never failed to feel the grandeur its designers must have felt upon imagining it. Every last object in the room, every arch to its towered ceiling, every majestic shelf of datapads bespoke knowledge. One could not visit it without being vastly impressed by the wisdom of the Jedi order, or without feeling the need to stop and admire it all.

Pierce was suddenly and acutely aware that the place he'd stopped was the middle of the doorway. He started forward again, his footsteps echoing lightly. The room was mostly empty, but whatever architectural magic it had kept sound from becoming noise.

Taking a left turn into the stacks, Pierce began his search. He knew exactly what he was looking for and upon locating it, pulled it from the shelf. The record fell so easily to his hand, Pierce might have been destined to find it.

As he stepped out from among the record shelves, he caught sight of a familiar fur coloring. "Mr. Mongwoo," he said conversationally, trying to keep his voice even so as not to disturb the other Archive patrons. "What are you in here looking for?"

[Sejah Haversh]

Even though he had large, sensitive ears, Sejah still jumped slightly when Pierce called over to him in the name his son had so kindly invented. Shutting the datapad he had been looking at, the brown-furred mongoose looked back to Pierce and smiled lightly.

"Hello, Mr. Tondry," he replied, then lifted the datapad in his paw as to show it off. "Just a little research, more personal than related to the Order, really. I see you've escaped your son for the moment, or did he just run off again?"

[Pierce Tondry]

"Jax is spending the day with his grandfather, so I have time off from fatherly duties," Pierce said. He glanced down at the datapad in his hand. "Using it to do a little personal research of my own."

Sejah tilted his head sideways in a manner Pierce could not help but feel was distinctly alien. "I'm sitting at that table over there if you'd like to join me."

"I'll take that offer, thanks," Pierce said.

The two took seats at Sejah's table and began conversing in low tones. "How's your training coming along?"

Sejah gave his companion a look. "Slowly. Let's talk about something else, please."

Pierce chuckled. "That bad, huh?" Sejah nodded. "Well, don't give up. You'll make a good Jedi Knight someday, I think."

"That's kind of you to say," Sejah said. He gestured with a paw. "What've you been looking up?"

He had said it was personal research, but upon being asked Pierce found himself curious about Sejah's opinion of his plans (http://www.swforums.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26708) for a pilgrimige. Why, Pierce did not really know. 'I do need to make sure this is a sane thing, after all.'

Pierce handed the datapad to the furry Nehantite. "I'm planning a trip. Take a look."

[Sejah Haversh]

"Thanks," Sejah said as he took the datapad and looked it over. It was a travel itererary of sorts, with notes scribbled here and there. Between the shorthand, Sejah could make out a long and difficult journey, and it was to a place he had never heard of before.

"Going on vacation?" the mongoose asked, then looked back at the pad, "Doesn't seem to be a real tourist hot-spot, from the looks of it."

[Pierce Tondry]

"Wayland is the home of the Noghri," Pierce said simply. "There's history there."

Before Sejah could say anything on that subject, Pierce continued. "It's this idea I found in the archives. When a Padawan was having trouble adjusting to the Force, sometimes they would take a personal journey to try and find their connection as a kind of last resort."

[Sejah Haversh]

Thinking that over for a moment, Sejah asked seriously, "In that case, want some company?"

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce laughed aloud. "If you want to see the galaxy, you're gonna wind up pretty bored. This is a business trip for me. Don't get me wrong- I don't mind company, even on a personal journey. But you're probably gonna have to entertain yourself for long periods."

[Sejah Haversh]

"Trust me, after a year as padawan to Marcus and Helenias, I am quite used to having to entertain myself," Sejah joked.

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce laughed again and clapped his hands in amusement. As the humor wore off, however, he folded his hands together and and stared over his fingers at Sejah. "You really think the idea's that worth it, then? That's it's not crazy?"

[Sejah Haversh]

"There's nothing crazy about a road trip, Pierce," Sejah assured him with a chuckle. "Didn't you ever take one as a kid? You know, jsut get away and see what you can find? I took one once, got busted for driving without a license, but, it was good nonetheless. It think it's a great idea."

[Pierce Tondry]

"Well, it seems a bit insane to me," Pierce admitted. "Ditching your responsibilities to go wander around trying to find yourself is kinda flighty."

[Sejah Haversh]

"You haven't ben assigned any missions, have you? You and I both know that Helenias hardly has any time for training, so, other than your son, what resposibilites do you have?" Sejah asked, trying to make it more rational to Pierce. Odd, seeign as it was his idea in the first place.

[Pierce Tondry]

"I volunteer as security for the temple, work as an attached bodyguard to Helenias' Senatorial contingent, and I like to have fun. Oh, and there's the rank of Major in the NRI that I hold. Military service does tend to keep one busy."

Having put it that way, Pierce couldn't get over the feeling that he was trying to talk himself out of the idea. Maybe I am. Maybe I need to think about this more. "If I do go through with this, I'll let you know," he said, abruptly getting to his feet. "Thanks for the talk, Sejah."

[Pierce Tondry]

Honestly, what did he have to lose?

Only your self-respect. This whole 'run off to find yourself' nonsense is crazy. Just shut up, get back to what you know, and things'll be fine.

I can't. I have this Jedi power in me. It's not just other people telling me either, 'cause I've seen shell fragments of this myself. Doing things I shouldn't be able to do- that no one should be able to do. If I don't learn how to control this, it could be a problem.

You swore an OATH to the Republic! You have a DUTY to your government! You can't just up and leave those things because you're afraid of a MIGHT BE.

I can't ignore this either! Imagine what I could do- how much more effective I would be on missions- the kind of human intelligence I could gather with Jedi powers- the opportunity is as big as an Attack Walker!

Who's going to take your place while you're gone? There are lives depending on you staying!

Who can be what I can? There are lives depending on me going!

"IK'NU ATH!" Pierce shouted and slammed his fist into the wall.

The hurt in his knuckles cleared the thoughts out of his head, enough so that Pierce realized he wasn't alone in the hallway. "Who's there?" he asked, looking up.

[Morgan Evanar]

He frowned when he heard the abrupt impact into the wall.

"Me?" Morgan looked around a shelf loaded with datacards. Tondry was shaking his hand, trying to get some blood back into it.

"You're lucky you didn't break your wrist. Something troubling you, Pierce? People don't swear in Verpine every day."

[Pierce Tondry]

"Yes," Pierce said to both question and statement. Lying to Morgan at this point would really do no good. "I feel like I'm running away."

Morgan's face turned into a voiceless question, so Pierce continued. "In the archives, I found this Jedi pilgrimige concept. When Master/Apprentice training fails, students having trouble in their Force training go out among the galaxy on their own in order to meditate and find themselves. The whole Force mess really seems to be over my head at times and this might help, but I'd be abandoning my duties to go on it."

[Morgan Evanar]

"The New Republic won't collapse if you're gone for a month, Pierce. You probably need a vacation anyway." Tondry looked doubtful.

"You can't perform your duty if you're too busy beating yourself up. As for the Force..." Morgan shrugged noncomitally. "...I still don't know what I'm doing half the time. But I know its there. And I know it works." The Jedi Master paused.

"It's different for everyone, which is why it can be so hard to teach, and even harder to learn." He smiled at Tondry.

"Scat. Your Father and Ryla will look after Jax. She's almost an aunt to him now."

[Pierce Tondry]

"I suppose."

Pierce mulled over Morgan's points, eventually coming up with one question to which he had no answer. "Would you do this?" he asked.

[Morgan Evanar]

"I'm not in your shoes, so I can't rightly make that call. But you do need to have a vacation. You haven't stopped from the moment you defected, and before that I can't imagine you took too much time for yourself." Morgan gave Tondry a once over.

"If something really important happens we'll get ahold of you. If you don't, you're probably only hurting yourself."

[Pierce Tondry]

"Damn you Jedi Masters and your logic," Pierce quipped. "It always sounds so reasonable coming from you."

Pierce ran a hand through his hair (a habit he made a mental note to watch) and sighed. "I guess you're right. I'll start wrapping up my assignments and put in for some extended leave. Cracken's probably not gonna like that, though," Pierce added with a slight smirk.

[Morgan Evanar]

"Craken doesn't like anything. Thats why he's where he is. Everything is in doubt." Morgan smiled at Pierce.

"Shoo." Evanar waved him away dismissively.

[Pierce Tondry]

"I hear and obey, O Jedi Master," Pierce gave Morgan a comically exaggerated bow and moved off among the stacks.

It wasn't that he was totally and completely repulsed by the trip idea. Just, on a level beneath conscious logic it conflicted with something deep inside him. The very notion that he was abandoning everyone and everything for a selfish reason was something his psychological self found abhorrant.

On the opposing side, two non-biased third parties had found the idea to hold merit. And, on a level beneath the psychological one, the plan felt very right.

When he got back to his room, Pierce set the datapad on his nightstand where it would remain in view, then went to take a shower.