Preliminary Necessities - Nadorj

[Navaria Tarkin]

The day prior, Rie had informed her of a potential student that Navaria might be interested in teaching. Her schedule wasn't too full as of late and with the recent promotion of her once Padawan, Wei, it did open up an opportunity.

It was in her office that she decided to begin this meeting. She had never heard of Nadorj before and wanted to get to know him first. A summons was sent out not too long after breakfast was finished and the Jedi Knight would be expecting her newest Padawan shortly.

[Nadorj]

Nadorj, being somewhat nervous of this meeting started to make sure he was ready. He made sure he looked decent and prepared himself to meet his posible master. He took a deep breath and started through the door.

"Hi. I'm Nadorj Sivad."

[Navaria Tarkin]

A bright smile lit up her face in welcome.

"A pleasure to meet you. I am Navaria Tarkin. Jedi Knight and Council Member. Please ..."

She motioned to the cushioned chair in front of her desk.

"... have a seat."

Nadorj noticed the simple decorations of Navaria's office. There were a few cabinets for filing to her left, a few pictures of the grounds around Coruscant, some exotic plants that gave the room an outdoor feel, and an impeccably organized desk.

[Nadorj]

Nadorj was shocked by the beauty of Master Tarkin but refused to let himself think anything of it. He sat down as offered and admired her office.

"Did you decorate it yourself?" he said sincerly."Its very beautiful."

Nadorj asked these questions more out of nervousness than of curiosity. He smiled lightly and waited for a response.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Yes. Thank you."

She answered, looking at the pictures that were hung on the wall.

"Beauty is best found in the simplest things."

Her eyes drifted back to Nadorj, sensing his hesitation and nervousness.

"Why do you not tell me a little about yourself. Where you are from and how you came to come here in wanting to be a Jedi."

Navaria relaxed in her chair to ease any sense of formality. She wanted Nadorj to feel comfortable around her.

"I like to get to know a prospective student of mine first."

[Nadorj]

Calming himself Nadorj thought back to his training days by his gaurdian. Flashing over his parents death kind of brought him shock but he had controlled those emotions long ago.

"Well, my parents were killed in an accident when I was very little so I really dont know where my birthplace was. I never had a chance to ask them. A man who was at the scene found out if I had any relatives and when he found that i didn't he took me as a son. He taught me fight with swords, an art he always found amusing. He always taught me to go for the greater good and I decided that since I did have some talent I should use it to help others. Really, I dont have anything else. The GJO has been very welcoming to me. And I have a little score to settle with the sith."

Trying not to brag more than he already had Nadorj continued.

"I always noticed in me the ability to sometimes see something or hear something before it happened. It only was periodically though. I started learning of the force and tried to apply it. The only skill I feel rather comfortable in is moving objects with my mind. I have tried calming techniques before but as you can probably tell they dont work that well. I'm starting to run on I do apologize."

Hoping not to embarress himself, Nadorj stopped talking and waited for a reply. He really liked Master Tarkin and would love to be her padawan. He started to calm down and smiled as he realized that he should be comfortable around her. And truley he was.

[Navaria Tarkin]

She raised a hand.

"No, no. I thank you for being open in telling me about yourself."

Navaria folded her hands together and rested them in her lap.

"You need not worry about your lack of control. That is a very important and fundamental concept that comes with the Jedi training. In time, you will learn to steady your mind. Now ..."

Her tone became a little more serious but Nadorj saw concern in her eyes.

"... what happened with the Sith that makes you want to settle a score with them?"

[Nadorj]

"Well about the sith...lets just say they were indirectly responsible for my parents death. I do have some knowedge of the force and I do know vengence is a trait of the dark side. But it is not for vengence that i have to settle a score. The sith responsible have already been punished for their crime by the jedi. I just want to stop this injustice from ever occuring again. From ever hurting a child or anyone for that matter. I did have anger when i was first old enough to understand what had happened, but I am past that and now and hold no anger, only peace. I want to be a Jedi beacause I want to be a protector. Defend those who cannot defend themselves. "

Nadorj felt sort of relieved that he had got that off his chest, but a little exposed telling someone he knew so little so much.

[Navaria Tarkin]

He was still nervous but held enough trust to let Navaria know how he truly felt. Nadorj was not afraid of speaking his mind. A good trait for a Jedi.

"My apologies for what had happened."

Nadorj could hear sympathy and a quiet understanding in Navaria's voice. He could definitely tell that something similar must have happened to her.

"You are quite wise in your words. Many in the same circumstances would chose a darker path then you have. Which brings me to my next question. There are certain means for punishment in many eyes for the Sith. What would be punishment in your eyes?"

There was more to being a Jedi then wielding a sabre and using the force. Intentions on how to use that power was just as important, perhaps even more important.

[Nadorj]

"Thank you for your sympathy."

Most people didnt really care what had happened to him. Master Tarkin was different. She seemed to understand more. He thought about the question carefully before answering.

"With great power comes great responsibility. That is what my gaurdian always said. He taught me not to abuse power because that is for the weak. The dark side is for the weak, it is easier to go to. I have always loved a challenge so I dont mind the Jedi."

Nadorj realized he was a little off topic so he began to swtch his words.

"I have never killed before and hope I dont need to. I realize that it may sometime come with an assignment, or be required in battle, but in the ways of punishment i don't think death should be considered. If I am correct the Jedi are the defenders of peace and justice in the galaxy, not hunters. I am not planning to hunt down and kill the sith. Its true that some sith maybe deserve to pay with their lives but that does not mean we are to kill them all."

Nadorj only could say one more thing about this.

"Actually I was kind of hoping this would be one of the things you would teach me. Or at least help me expand on."

Nadorj could see interest in Master Tarkins eyes. That made him think about whether it was good interest or disappointed interest. He was not worried though. She seemed to have as much understanding as she did beauty.

[Navaria Tarkin]

Her eyes seemed to brighten as Nadorj spoke from his heart. She wished that more Jedi felt like he did. A living proof that death is not the first option when it comes to dealing with the Sith after the Sith had turned his world upside down.

"Of course. The way I teach is always about salvation first. To teach understanding and patience but ... unfortunately there are times when violence is the only recourse. Especially when protecting those that are innocent and cannot defends themselves."

She leaned forward, closing the gap between them to make it even less of a formal atmosphere.

"I do sense that you are a bit curious about me. Was there anything that you needed, or wanted, to ask me?"

[Nadorj]

Thinking through the questions he had he tried to pinpoint one. He did wonder why she seemed to relate to his parents death so much. That was very personal, but he felt that she must of sensed him thinking about it.

"Well, it is sort of personal but, I have this feeling that you can relate to my loss. Because of the sith I mean. I have to admit I am curious. If you feel comfortable talking about it I would be glad to listen, presuming that my assumtion is correct that is."

He wanted to be right so that he could prove he had some force abilities to her, but he was also afraid he might upset her. Though inside he felt that as if she wanted him to ask. He stayed up right near her to show that he was very comfortable around her and waited for a response.

[Navaria Tarkin]

Her head bobbed as he posed the question. Much what Navaria thought he would ask.

"Well, from a certain point of view, you could say that the Sith has taking away what family, that is still living, away from me."

She sighed slightly.

"It is not that I do not want to tell you the story, but that it is difficult and lengthy ... to understand. What I can tell you is that my brother has been lied to and his thoughts clouded by the Sith ways. He does not understand a great many things. Granted, that is not what he would say but ... I ..."

Navaria's voiced dropped so low that Nadorj had to strain to hear her speak. Her voice was filled with much sadness and pain ... Yet, his senses told him something else. There was also the sense of guilt.

"He ... I believe ... is lost to me."

[Nadorj]

Not wanting to affect her emotions anymore, Nadorj didn't want to ask anymore questions. Maybe someday she would tell him the story, but now was not the time.

"I'm very sorry, it can be real hard losing family, I know."

He did understand, more than any normal person would. After a small awkward silence he cleared his throat and continued carefully.

"So what type of training would I be going through under your teaching?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

The change in conversation was much appreciated.

"Well, my personal strengths are in healing and in various aspects of what the mind can do with the Force. There is of course hand to hand and learning how to use a sabre ... but most importantly you will learn how to sense the Force and how to control it. One must have a mind that is calm and at peace so the lure of the Dark Side does not reel you in."

[Nadorj]

Even though Nadorj was really interested in the art of using a lightsabre, he also wanted to expand his abilities with the force. He could only say one thing.

"When do we start?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

Enthusiastic he was. Especially about the lightsabre. Unfortunately most were but it relieved her to feel that Nadorj was interested in more then use combat.

"Soon. Patience."

She smiled.

"What do you see when you look at me?"

[Nadorj]

Nadorj said the first thing that came to his head.

"I see a beautiful young women."

He was sure that wasn't the answer she was looking for so he paused, and looked deep into her eyes. Her look was almost healing. Just staring at her made him feel warm and protected.

"I see....caring, patience, and .."

He thought about a familiar thing he saw. A look he reconized but couldn't point out. It seemed to him like a look he had seen many times in the mirror, a look of guilt. He realized he could be wrong and dared not to say it so he covered.

"..and great wisdom."

He did see wisdom in her eyes but he still wondered about this guilt he saw. He always felt guilt within himself for not saving his parents, even though he was too young to do so. He wondered if this had something to do with her brother.......Nadorj realized that he needed to stay focused and he really didnt want to bring her any pain, so he needed to stay off the subject of her brother as well. He sat back cautiosly and waited.

[Navaria Tarkin]

The compliment was not what she was looking for and kept silent. Nadorj was astute enough to realize that he needed to look harder and listed off more qualities that he saw. Nadorj's assessment of her was accurate, including his unspoken thoughts.

"I feel the confidence in your voice and in the words you have chosen."

Her voice hinted that she knew what he was thinking.

"But tell me, how was it that you could choose these words with only your eyes? I find that curious."

[Nadorj]

"Well it wasnt my eyes that told me, it was yours. You were holding these attributes inside. I just found a way in."

Nadorj felt that he needed to explain more.

"The truth is I dont know exactley how i could tell, I just put away my thoughts, and tried to bring in yours. It is like I am listening deeply, but I was feeling. I know this isn't making much sense, but I could just feel what kind of person you are. I could feel kindness and warmness inside of you."

Nadorj thought that maybe that was the whole part of the exercise. To realize that it isn't what you see its what you feel. He had always heard the term, your eyes can decieve you and now he knew what they meant. Not neccesarly that your eyes would show you the wrong picture, but just maybe not the whole picture.

"If it's not too far off the subject, could you tell me what you see when you look at me?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Instinct guided you, Nadorj, if you are looking for a better word. And it is in that instinct that you will find your first connection to the Force when sensing others for emotions, intent ... danger. That is only a ... general, basic understanding. There is more involved of course."

She tilted her head to the side and studied him quite thoroughly. Her soft blue eyes seemingly swallowed up his very being, feeling exposed .. but not in a harmful manner. Navaria's presence was peaceful and not intrusive.

"I see someone that is willing to put himself before others in feelings, as well as in a physical manner. I sense a calm about you that has settled, eventhough you have faced much adversity. There is kindness and a willingness to understand but ..."

Her eyes narrowed when she picked up on something particular.

"... I sense that you are haunted."

[Nadorj]

Hearing not quite what he was expecting Nadorj was stunned. He wasn't sure what she meant by haunted. There as a period of bad dreams and such of the sith but how could she know that.

"Wow, ..that wasn't exactlty what I was expecting but then again I am not very adept in my abilities yet."

He was a bit confused and tied up in his own curiousness. He felt he wanted to change the subject. so he brought up a topic that he really was curious about.

"I dont mean to change the topic again but..I sensed that you had.."

He paused for a moment second guessing himself.

"A similar pain as me........Guilt. If I am wrong forgive me but the feeling was strong inside of me. You had a look which I had given myself. Would you enlighten me?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Sometimes the truth is written plainly upon the faces of those we see. As Jedi, we must learn to look for it through observation and the Force."

Navaria stopped to think about his request and decided on an exchange of trust.

"Your quilt is because of your parents?"

Her eyes narrowed.

"Or does it go deeper then that? Answer me that, and I will answer your question."

[Nadorj]

Nadorj started to think hard. He had always assumed his guilt was from his parents. He was now starting to doubt his own thoughts.Maybe it was from something else, but what? He had a plain civil answer.

"Now that you ask...maybe it does go deeper. I have always suspected that it was because of my parents death but nowI am not so sure. I cant really think of anything else that it could be. I am sorry but I dont see it as anything more than their death."

[Navaria Tarkin]

"That is all right. A question to ponder another time anyway with meditation and reflection."

Now it was her turn.

"My guilt is misplaced, as some tell me, but it is there. It will always be there and my life is dedicated to right the wrongs my name has caused."

She narrowed her eyes.

"The name Tarkin should be familiar to you, yes?"

[Nadorj]

He did know who she was talking about. The man who destroyed Alderan. He had noticed the similar names earlier but didnt think they were related.

" I do know the name of which you speak. To tell you the truth I am surprised you are not one of the dark side with a family like that. I'm sorry I dont mean to be judgemental, but that is some wrong to make right. It must be hard...do others among you judge you for it?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

"No, do not think I am offended. I am used to such honesty."

And in a way Nadorj was correct. At one point she did serve the Dark Side. It was just ... unwillingly, and her fault at the same time.

"Most do not say anything openly to my face, but I know they do. I can feel it when they look at me or how they speak to me. I do not need the Force for that. But ... it does not matter. I cannot change the past but I can make a future where situations, like the destruction of Alderaan, never happen again."

[Nadorj]

"That is all you really can do. You cant change the past but you can prevent further disorder in the future. I have to let you know my admiration for someone that has stayed so true and good through such hard times. I dont know if I could have done it myself."

Nadorj looked around the room. He was feeling a strong wind of the force through him and wanted to test it out. Maybe his skills had increased..but there was only one way to tell. He bent down as if to pick up something as an act of subterfuge to distract Navaria from what he was doing behind her. This was not the brightest idea he had ever had bad he wanted to see what he could do. Eyes closed he tried to feel the plant behind her desk...he slowley lifted it high up, took it to the other side of the room, and then lowered it. At least he thougt he did. Even he thought of it a bit childish but it was kinda fun to see what he could do with little mind set. She was sure to notice this sooner or later so he looked up cautiosly. Perhaps she would be amused and who knows maybe she would be angry.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"A Jedi is never angry. That is a trait of the Dark Side."

She corrected.

"The moment you connected yourself to the Force did I know what you were up too my Padawan."

He did have some skill. That much was obviously certain. She wondered what his motivation for doing that was ... it was unclear to her.

"I think such an act means you wish to move onwards with your training. I actually agree ... Tomorrow then in the ... proper training facilties?"

Her brow rose upwards in question and in some amusement.

[Nadorj]

"Sorry about that. I enjoy using telekenetics as much as possible."

He didn't want to laugh but he almost couldn't help himself. That smile of hers made him unable to stop smiling back.

'Sure that sounds great."

He couldn't wait to expand his knowledge on the force and to increase his abilities. Of course he wanted to be able to use a lightsabre, but whos better..the man who fights well, or the man that has the ability to avoid a fight. He would much rather have the ability to use mind tricks and to levitate things than swing a blade.

With a smile and a hand shake Nadorj started for the exit, waiting for a second for any last replies before his departure.

[Navaria Tarkin]

She let her eyes linger on her Padawan until he left and walked over to the plant he moved, allowing herself to finally laugh. The Knight picked it up and returned it back to its original spot in the office.

"Things should be interesting with this one."

It was a quiet thought to herself as she returned to olanning out tomorrow's lesson with her students, adding Nadorj (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30088) to the list.