A Mass of Infinties (Open to a teacher. Not Helenias)

[Sejah Haversh]

It had been happening more and more often. It used to be jsut every once in a while that when Sejah would touch something, a burst of information would flash into his head. Usually it was the molecular structure of whatever it was that he touched, but no matter how many times he touchded something, he never got used to the sudden surprise of it.

That wasn't to say it was useful yet. In fact it was quite the annoyance. Sejah had had enough troubles lately that one more only made his already sinking feeling of himself slip lower. He didn't associate much with others anymore, and many of his friends had passed him up quickly in the area of Force skills.

Taking a break from wandering though the hallways, Sejah ducked into a training room that had a decent view of the city out its window and took a seat on a small box by the transparisteel wall, watching the ships and speeders go by. He left the lights off, and the book he had been carrying slowly slipped out of his paw and to the floor by his sneaker-shod footpaw. Depression was something he had often felt, but never had he so much free time to have it consume him in. It seemed the only solace he could get was just to sit and watch others accoplish things, and somehow hope that by doing so he could advance himself. All his excercises in self-teaching, other than reading, had ended in failure, and in some cases even disaster.

Helenias was often too busy with Senetorial duties, and so he was often left to his own devices, as he was that day. Sejah just sat, and ran a paw through hsi headfur as he waited for time to pass. He knew he should be practicing his focus in telekenesis--his only real Force skill--, but at the moment he had no desire to do so.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"It is a good place to come and think, isn't it?"

Anbira entered the room, to see Sejah staring out the expansive window.

"I do the same, whenever I have the time. Most people don't realize the benefits of a little time to one's self, to focus their hearts and minds. If you overlook such a little thing, life can seem to weigh down upon you."

[Sejah Haversh]

Sejah turned to look back and see who it was . The sight of Anbira was rather surprising, for he had rarely seen the Master, even around the order. He was Loki's master, and Sejah had heard great stories of him, so the intimidation factor was quite high.

"Master Anbira," the Nehantite said as he swallowed his surprise. "Yes, yes a little time to yourself is good, but," Sejah paused, uncertain if he should continue on with his thoughts.

"But, time to myself is all I have had lately. Master Evenstar is ill, and my training has been put on indefintie hold, it seems." When he realized how selfish that sounded, Sejah then leaned down and picked up his book, holding it up with a bit of a smile, terribly nervous, though. "I have been working on my reading, though," he offered as some kind of worthwhile use of his free time.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"That is a noble cause. Education should not be lost amidst the training and mysticism of the Jedi arts. Most take that for granted. It is good you do not."

Anbira continued to gaze out of the window.

"Tell me, young Sejah, how has your training under Master Evenstar progressed up to her present hiatus?"

[Sejah Haversh]

The book slowly returned to his lap as his forced smile faded. Seajh sighed lightly before turning to look out the window again.

"Master Hicchoru," he started, trying to figure out the best possib;e wording for what he wished to say, "I mean no offense to Master Evenstar, but, I will put it this way when I say that she might as well ahve been sick for the entire time she has been my master for the amount of training she has given me. I have tried to supplement my lack of training by studying from other masters, but I fear doing that too much would be an insult to Master Evenstar."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Ah."

Anbira nodded at Sejah's predicament.

"But students are often eager to finish their lessons. Are you sure it is not natural impatience? Remember, a Jedi must master such things."

He awaited Sejah's response, but had a feeling that the Nehantite had heard such things before.

[Sejah Haversh]

"It's not that I'm eager to finish my lessons, Master Hicchoru," Sejah stated, "It's that I am eager to begin them. I have been here for over a year and have had very mininal instruction of any kind. Marcus was ablt to help me a little with some telekenesis, but, he disappeared, and my skill with that power causes far more harm than good, it seems, no matter how much I practice on my own."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Practice is errant wandering without guidance. I can see your concern, young Sejah."

Anbira looked to the Nehantite, curious as to the padawan's potential.

"What have you managed so far?"

[Sejah Haversh]

"Limited precognition in fights, though I have little control over it," Sejah replied. "And this," He looked to his side and saw a small fake rock next to a potted plastic plant. Extending his paw toward it, he focused hard, causing the false rock to tremble slightly, then rise into the air.

Once it was up, sejah turned his paw over, palm up, and called the rock to him. But it didn't get very far. About two feet from where it had started, the piece of recycled plastic waste shuddered, dropped a few inches, then lurched back into place. Strain was evident on Sejah's face, and he focused harder.

It was to no avail. Within seconds of steadying the rock, it suddenly exploded in a shower of plastic niblets, bouncing harmlessly around the room, and pelting the two of them. Dropping his paw, Sejah turned back to Anbira, obviuously dissappointed. "It always does that."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Anbira arched an eyebrow.

"Well, that is a rather volatile side effect, isn't it?"

He extended a hand, and the plastic bits began to levitate, and migrate back toward him, until they coalesced into a specific area. As Anbira talked, he moved them about at will.

"Your telekinesis is quite unorthodox, and of an advanced nature. I do not often see adepts with such a conceptual use of this power. I can help you with one of two paths, but you alone must decide. Either unlearn this skill, and learn to harness the world around you in a traditional manner, or I can help you expand upon this skill, and enlighten you upon how you might serve the will of the force with it."

Anbira twirled the debris cloud about, before condensing it into a sphere with a tightening of his fist.

"One's misfortune, young Sejah, is another's epiphany. Do not be so distraught."

[Sejah Haversh]

Sejah watched in awe as Anbira manipulated the debris as simply as breathing. What he wouldn't give to have a real skill like that. Sure, he could swing a sword, but, telekenesis seemed far more powerful, and would be able to stick with him as he aged.

Looking up to Anbira's face, Sejah spoke honestly, "I have worked hard to even be able to lift items in the first place, so I am not ready to give that up. If you're willing to teach me, I would be most willing to learn more. Need something to show for my time here, y'know?"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

The bits and pieces of plastic condensed extremely tightly into a ball, and accelerated at Sejah's face rapidly....then stopped. Unsure of what was happening, Sejah awaited whatever Anbira was up to.

"Hold out your hand."

[Sejah Haversh]

Slightly startled by the sudden advance of the ball, Sejah blinked, but not a full flinch. He trusted Anbira, and in the back of his mind he was convinced that the Master wouldn't do anythign to harm him.

Nodding lightly, the mongoose held out his open paw, palm up, ready for whatever would come next.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

A single tiny fragment fell from the group into Sejah's paw.

"Naturally, the best place to begin is at the beginning. Start small."

[Sejah Haversh]

The small piece of plastic bounced lightly off of Sejah's palm and came to a quiet rest. Looking at it, the mongoose then turned his attention back to Anbira and asked, "So, what should I do with it?"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"I leave that to you, for the moment."

[Sejah Haversh]

Befuddled, Sejah looked again at the piece of plastic.

It was part silicone, pary vinyl composite, and a small amount of bonding resin. Thogugh he could not see the molocules themselves, he knew they were there, and lightly, he focused on them all.

The piece lifted from his paw, and floated softly a few inches above his palm. Small things were simple to lift, for they had less mass, and less atoms to have to focus on. A whole was simply the mass of its parts, and all Sejah could see were the parts.

"Small things," he said aloud, "Are simple. They are less complex, and easy to lift. Are all the rocks around here plastic? I don't remember them being that way."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"And what is small, other than a perception of your mind? Is an atom miniscule in the midst of a molecule? Is a proton dwarfed by the size of an atom? You have a gift of sense, Sejah, but you are not allowing yourself to see the forest. You can only see the tree before you."

Anbira watched Sejah as he manipulated the smaller piece, awaiting a response.

[Sejah Haversh]

"But I do see the forest. And the bushes and the shrubs," Sejah replied, smiling. "It is just a matter of understandign that they belong in that order. I see it all, Master Hicchoru, but my sight can be limited. If I don't focus only on small areas, I get confused, and... and it all falls apart. If I can't see every little bit, it all goes ka-boom."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"That is why we start small."

Anbira smiled, watching the Nehantite maneuver the bit of debris around. Another tiny piece fell from the mass the Jedi Master controlled.

[Sejah Haversh]

Extending his senses, Sejah focused hard and managed to grab ahold of the second piece in the Force. Slowly, it circled the other small chunk, but as he stared at them intently, the two bits grew closer and closer together until they touched. But it didn't stop there. Instead of being pressed against each other, Sejah coaxed them to join as one larger piece, asking the molocules to bind together as if the item had never been split.

It wasn't the first time he had done it, but it was exceptionally difficult.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Again, Anbira assailed Sejah, this time with two small fragments.

"Open your mind, Sejah. The whole is greater than its parts. Do not be overwhelmed."

[Sejah Haversh]

As the two extra pieces came at him, Sejah stretched out his mind to grab them, and pulled them close, hoping to join them with his current fragment.

But, as if he had been struck by lightning, his mind flashed and all he was focusing on turned to dust, every molecular bond broken. Stumbling backward, the mongoose helt his temples with hs paws and moaned, "Owww... What was that?" Grimacing as he straightened hismelf out, Sejah blinked hard and looked at the remainder of the powder in the air. "I just, I mean... it all went poof, and, I don't know how. Crap, this sucks."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Anbira's brow knit, and he let the particles in his grasp fall to the floor.

"Do you like to swim, Sejah?"

[Sejah Haversh]

Still pissed off that he hads screwed up so badly, Sejah looked at Anbira indredulously and balked, "Um, hello? Fur. Kind of hard to swim with fur."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"An otter has fur, does it not?"

Anbira dismissed the question with a hand before Sejah could respond.

"And what of running? Does a Nehantite run?"

[Sejah Haversh]

Now Sejah was getting mad. Of course otters had fur, but iut was finer, and thicker in quantity, not to mention oily and intended for water life. Not like his fur, coarse and dry.

Balling his fists in frustration, Sejah replied, "What do you mean, run? Like, run away, or run distances or races? This Nehantite runs when he needs to."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Do you lose yourself in counting your footfalls? Does it overwhelm you?"

[Sejah Haversh]

Where was this going? Sejah was frustrated, and the line of questioning that Anbira faced him with was only adding to his anger.

"Count my pawsteps? What does that have to do with anything?" he snapped. "Of course I don't count. That would be like counting your breath, or your heartbeats. You don't have to focus, it just happens."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Precisely!"

Anbira faced Sejah fully again, his eyes fierce and focused. He balled a hand into a fist for emphasis.

"Is a composer disheartened at the pluck of a bow? The crash of a cymbal? These alone are only noises. A composer that makes only noise fails. Enough noise comes together, and it is no longer a congomeration of sound. It is not a ruckus. It is music."

Anbira leaned down, scooping up the debris he let fall to the ground. He held it up to Sejah's face.

"What is this? This...garbage. This debris. This bit of fluff. What does it all matter? What does it mean?"

He didn't let Sejah answer, and threw the handful aside in a scatter.

"What of that chair? Of that door? This room? Insignificant!"

He closed the distance again, his voice softer now.

"What of you? Of me?"

Taking a pause for emphasis, Anbira allowed some distance again.

"Every journey begins with a footstep. But a journey is more than all the footsteps in between. This rubble, this chair, this door, this wall, and you and I...we are pieces of a whole. You cannot find truth without seeing this interconnection."

[Sejah Haversh]

"I know the connection," Sejah growled. "I know it, I see it, and I can feel it. But when I try to use it, BLAM!" He threw his arms wide for emphasis.

"I can see things, I see the molocules, I see the atoms and the electrons, and the things under that. But, there are too many, and I get overwhelmed, and... and, it all blows up, every...single...time. I have tried, Master Hicchoru, I really have, but I just don't get it."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Lift me."

[Sejah Haversh]

"Sure thing," Sejah replied, smirking.

First, he closed his eyes, apparently focusing his mind, then suddenly he stepped in, threw both arms around the Jedi master and hauled him off his feet in a fireman's grab. "That good?" he asked, before setting Anbira back down.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Anbira arched an eyebrow.

"At least your sense of humor remains unvanquished."

It was an unsaid cue for Sejah to do as Anbira meant, and avoid the literal connotations.

For Sejah, the thought of killing his teacher must now be a significant one running through his mind.

[Sejah Haversh]

"Hey, got to keep myself sane somehow," Sejah shrugged, but his humor was quickly dissipated by the stony look Anbira shot him.

"Listen, I've already blown my own arm into a thousand pieces. If it wasn't for Marcus, I'd be spectacularly maimed right now. I'm not about to risk lifting you up when I turn plastic to dust, and banannas into baby food."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"I'm more than capable of keeping myself in one piece, my young Padawan."

Anbira smirked ever-so slightly.

"Don't mind the steps. Its the journey, remember."

[Sejah Haversh]

"And Rome wasn't built in a day, I know, I know," Sejah muttered.

Always more than one way to do something, he thought to himself as he analyzed his options. Finally one at least made sense. Looking at Anbira's feet, the mongoose used his paws to steady his focus, and concentrated on the soles of Anbira's shoes. They were syntetic, which made the task easier. More of the same types of molocules, and they became groups in a far more simple way than a leather-soled shoe would. With considerable care, he focues on an even plane througout Anbira's soles, and lifted. Not much, just an inch or two, but the Jedi master rose.

And then fell back to the floor. Sejah lost his concentration, and held his head panting hard. "There.... that good?"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Anbira had felt the difference as if it were shouted through the room. He smiled, even on the clumsy dismount.

"You may yet be able to be taught, young Sejah."

[Sejah Haversh]

"And I may yet be able to get rid of this headache, with the help of some aspirin," Sejah countered humorously.

"How do you do it. How do you see it all with such clarity. It hurts, it's too much to take, all that information, I can't handle all of it at once."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"I don't." Anbira said simply.

"If I were to open myself to every innumerable detail, I would be lost in the drudgery. Imagine yourself reaching out with an invisible hand. You feel your surroundings, but do not scrutinize. This universe is far too complex to fully understand.

Or to put it another way, I cannot tell the song by the single note, but I can anticipate the next note when I know the song."

[Sejah Haversh]

"That's my problem," Sejah replied. "When I try to use the Force, I can't see wholes, only collections of parts. With my eyes I see that you are one person, but with the Force, you are something so complex that I can't even begin to figure out what you are. It's as if I can't link what I see to what I feel in the Force."

Seating himself on the empty crate again, the mongoose ran a paw through his headfur and said, "I wonder if my species even can. I mean, we can;t do telepathy, I wonder if we're if we're even physically capable of this. Nobody knows, and I'm the first Nehantite to ever try."