Cruelty of Love: Discovering the Truth (Sejah)

[imported_Terran Starek]

She didn't want him anymore.

It didn't matter how it was put, how sugar-coated it was, how much she cared still, or even what he wanted.

She didn't love him anymore.

That was the simple truth. It was plain--hard to swallow, but plain to see all the same. It had hurt. Force, it had hurt more than anything he had experienced in his lifetime. The pain cut deep and it sunk into his heart. Being the emotional man that he was, it was difficult to hide, and he wore his hood as he slowly trapesed his way to the hangar bay.

Sejah--one of his closest friends at the academy aside from his teachers--hadn't been in his room. There were a couple of places he could be found, but Terran knew that among them would be the hangar bay garage. Sejah could be seen tinkering with speeders and more archaix vehicles, and Terran bet that he would have a good chance at finding him there. As he neared the door, he peered out from under his hood--only to see his friend leaning under the hood of something else. A strange vehicle, but nothing too strange for Sejah.

"Sejah, my friend, if I may bother you," Terran spoke as cheerily as possible--his voice weak from emotion. Though he attempted a smile, it was nothing like his usual. Despite his attempt at concealing his mood, it would be easy enough to feel the despair simply in Terran's aura and energy about him.

[Sejah Haversh]

"What did they put this thing on with, and air wrench?" Sejah mumbled as he strained his arms against the oil filter of his new car. "Gar, frikkin piece of-"

He was cut short from growling an explitive as he heard, and felt, Terran arriving. The mongoose let go of the cylinder and leaned back out from under the hood of the great muscle car, wiping his paws on the pair of ratty pants he was wearing, already quite stained with oil and grease, as was his tank top undershirt. Sejah never was the picture of a Jedi when he worked on his car or speeder, but more of a calendar boy for "Furry Hick Hunks" or something of that sort.

"Changing the oil," he explained, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at the open engine bay. The air around Terran was unlike Sejah had ever felt before. He seemed troubled, worried, and just plain in a bad way all around. What surprised Sejah most about it, though, was that he could just feel it; usually the mongoose couldn't feel emotion at all, unless it was quite strong.

Dropping the playful attitude he normally tried to carry, the brown Nehantite looked curiously at Terran's face, hoping for some bit of a clue. "Yeah, um, tell me what's on your mind. The car can wait."

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran glanced toward the engine absentmindedly as Sejah pointed to it. Sometimes, he wished things were that simple. He wished life was a simple as manipulating a machine. He could see the principles and innerworkings of machinery, and he didn't even understand machines and technology that well.

Strange how he didn't understand life that well either.

"Yeah, um, tell me what's on your mind. The car can wait." He smiled at Sejah's words and appreciated the immediate response.

"I. . .well. . .I" He stuttered. Sejah was known for his forward manner of speaking--something Terran appreciated greatly. It was always troublesome to deal with the fluff that often times surrounded conversations, especially when it was not necessary. But to admitt how he was feeling was to verbally reaffirm what he considered to be the awful truth.

"Xazor and I. . .well, Xazor said. . ." He stumbled as the emotion rose in his throat, causing him to choke back a fit of greif. This was terrible! Act like a man, he thought! Buck up. Pulling back his hood, he met eyes with Sejah. They were the eyes of his friend--someone he could trust. Someone he didn't have to be anyone else for.

"Xazor doesn't love me anymore. She called of the engagement. She called of the relationship. She called off everything." With that, he found his eyes locked solidly on the ground of the bay, fighting hard against tears.

"You were the first person I thought to come to. . .it's really hard. . ." He brought a hand up to his face to hide the tears that began to fall as he broke up again.

[Sejah Haversh]

"Oh, geez man," was the first thing Sejah said, pulling his face in a look of empathetic bummer. What he didn't add was, "I saw it coming."

Nervously he twitched his paws as he tried to come up with some words to console his friend with, but they were slow in coming. Finally he just started talking, and hoped the right words would come out.

"Terran, I, um, I'm really sorry for you. I know how you felt about her. Wish I could have felt that way about a female sometime," he said, then decided to take a bit of a detour. "Dunno if I ever told you, but, I've never even had a girlfriend, so, I don't know how it feels to lose a girl. But, I can imagine. "

Sejah leaned forward and down to look up into Terran's face, a bit of a nervous smile on his furry face. "Terran, come on, don't be like this. You're a good guy, you didn't do anything wrong, you'll find another girl."

[imported_Terran Starek]

"It wasn't like she was just a girlfriend, Sejah! We were in love! We were going to be married!" He nearly shouted. Realizing the raise in his voice, he reached out and touch Sejah's forearm. "Sorry. I didn't mean to shout. I understand that you aren't experienced in this topic, and I don't expect you to be. Thanks for listening to a very emotional Jedi." He smiled, a real smile. He didn't feel better, but he felt like he was more in control.

He turned away, moping over to what appeared to be a toolbox. He fumbled through it without really thinking, his mind wandering in a million different places at once. With Sejah's encouragement, he was beginning to feel himself leaning toward the defensive.

"You know what really bothers me?" He knew Sejah was listening, and didn't pause to hear his response. "Something. . .something just doesn't feel right. This whole thing." He tured to face his friend, holding a wrench-type device in his hand. He was exmaining the tool to keep his hands and eyes busy while he spoke and thought.

"I feel as though. . .she wasn't being completely honest with me. I don't know why--I trust her. Of course, I trusted her with everything. I dunno if she was hiding some of her feelings or some of her regrets from me or what. But I could tell something was fishy." He cocked his head. Thinking logically and reasoning things out was the best way for him to cope.

"It just doesn't make sense. I just felt a strange vibe from her. Do you know what I mean?"

[Sejah Haversh]

"I can't say I do," Sejah shook his head as he walked over to be in a better listening range to Terran. "I don't know her all that well, really. Sure, she'd stop by every now and then, but, it was usually while I was heading out or something. I'm sorry, man, I really don't know what to say. Love's never been my game I guess. Always did better with a blade than a pick-up line, y'know?"

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran chuckled automatically, his mind stuck on a few words that Sejah spoke:

Sure, she'd stop by every now and then, but, it was usually while I was heading out or something.

He picked up on little things--clues. He was a good investigator, and he found it much easier to dissect facts and information than to read women.

"That's one weird thing that has bothered me. She hasn't spent much time with me lately. I am by no means possesive," and he truly wasn't, "But you'd think with a little more time on her hands, she'd be more likely to stop by my room for a chat or something." He tried to justify this as much as possible.

"I was just thinking, who are you rooming with?" Terran was starting to add some unannounced facts together in his brain, and so far it wasn't looking too good.

[Sejah Haversh]

A bit surprised at the strange turn in the conversation, Sejah paused for a moment before simply stating, "Well, used to be just Corin, then Dasquain needed a rooma while back and so he moved in, too. Then Corin was gone for a bit, but he's jsut recently back now."

Stepping over and leaning his rear against a workbench, Sejah shrugged and continued, "Yeah, every now and then Xazor would stop by, but it was just to talk to Das. Council stuff, I guess, I dunno, never listened in on them. Like I said, I was usually on my way out or something. Why do you ask?"

[imported_Terran Starek]

The mission she went on with Dasquian. The trip she had taken with him--something about finding a special plant on Dasquian's home planet. Their past together was rather strong to begin with. What was he to think now?

"I don't know why, Sejah. I guess I'm just curious." More like, suspicious, he thought. He was beinging to wonder about those two, and now he found himself breathing abit harder and more tense thinking about it. Could it really be true? No way, he'd thought. Not possible. Still, he had to pursue the thought.

"How often were these visits? How long does she stay?" Council business!! What a great cover-up, he thought. Perfect. Just perfect, and Sejah would be none the wiser. "When does she leave? Have you seen her there before just as you've come in?" He moved closer to Sejah, the questions shooting out of his mouth. "What about nights? Has she spent long nights discussing 'business?'"

[Sejah Haversh]

Sejah stepped back, indignantly staring at Terran from under a confused brow. "Hey there, step off, man, no need to get pushy," he defended himself.

"Yeah, she's been there occasionally when I came in, but, not that often. And, I don't remember any late nights, but I haven't been home for about a month before last week, remember? I went back to my home planet and was in that competition. Won that thing," he pointed to the large, black muscle car on chrome mag wheels.

"I don't keep tabs on people's comings and goings man, so just back off. I'm here to help, but, I don't like being pushed around like that, Terran," Sejah warned him.

[imported_Terran Starek]

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Terran said twice, almost pleadingly. "You're right." He put a hand on Sejah's arm again--a soft touch. A sign and an offering of peace. He had been pushy and out-of-control for that moment. He wasn't sure what had did it. It was very unlike him to loose his cool, and Sejah knew it. It wasn't fair to the Nehantite to act like it, and Terran quickly put the feelings aside.

But something inside of him began to wake up. Something told him he was right--that his suspicions were not unwaranted. His last two meetings with Xazor had been strange in the least, and he was finding many more clues to lead him to Dasquian. But why? She had assured him that it was nothing, nothing between them anymore. His eyes narrowed.

"Instead of pestering you about this, I think I should take it up with the source." He wondered if Dasquian would even be home, let alone available. "Do you know if he's in?"

[Sejah Haversh]

Content that Terran was calming down and more capable of acting like a Jedi, Sejah turned to head back to his car, and the oil filter that wouldn't budge. "I don't know," he replied, looking over his shoulder. "He was there when I left this morning, but, I've been in here for a few hours. It's anybody's guess if he's still there. Das keeps odd hours sometimes."

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Hey," Terran grabbed Sejah's attention for one last time as he prepared to leave. "Thank you." He smiled. It was weak, true, but it was real. "Thanks for caring. Sometimes, you'd find more beating hearts in a graveyard than this place."

It was time to speak with Dasquian--a man who he admired and respected. A Jedi Knight--one of the Order's finest. Something insided of him wanted to spit on that description--something harsh inside of him. Something cruel. But he pushed back the urge.

"Congratulations on your win. I've heard alot about it. You'll have to fill me in on the details over a good meal at Yog's, perhaps." Sejah tinkered with his new toy and Terran could see the satisfaction of doing so in the mongoose.

"I guess I'm off. Wish me luck, huh?" He hoped maybe he could find some answers in a meeting with Dasquian. Maybe things could be cleared up, mysteries solved, and his worries put at ease. Nonetheless, Sejah had continued to be someone he could trust for support. Someone he could count on.

That alone put Terran in better spirits.

[Sejah Haversh]

"Good luck," he called to Terran as he left, then turned his attention back to the vehicle in frontof him, cracking his knuckles and then loosening out his arms.

"Okay, Mr. Oil Filter, you wanna play tough, I can play tough too. Let's jsut see if you can handle This!" he spoke to the engine before suddenly reaching in with both arms and taking hold of the oil filter and yanking on it as hard as he could in order to break the grip and unscrew it.