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View Full Version : Satire: Australia gets drunk, wakes up in North Atlantic



Darth Viscera
Apr 24th, 2003, 02:48:47 PM
http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/australia.shtml


ROFLMAO frickin' hilarious!

Not only did you Aussies break Florida, you knocked Cuba way up into South Carolina!

Lady Vader
Apr 24th, 2003, 03:05:56 PM
:lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"...4,500-mile-long bridge between Sydney and Los Angeles."

Yeah... I'd like to see that one spring up! LA would never be the same again. :p :lol

imported_J'ktal Anajii
Apr 24th, 2003, 03:13:32 PM
Visc, you have made my birthday. I'm going to keep chuckling about that all day long, even at work.

Thanks, man, you're a pal.

Darth Viscera
Apr 24th, 2003, 03:22:05 PM
not a problem!

Lilaena De'Ville
Apr 24th, 2003, 04:31:45 PM
LMFAO!

That was so funny I had to read it to the other girl in the back room at work. :D

Droo
Apr 24th, 2003, 04:38:04 PM
This is what I mean by humour differences, me and Peter just sat here and didn't even chuckle except at the prospect of replying to this thread with a "That was a load of crap!" response, but we abstain. :)

Oh well, off to find something funny. :rollin

Darth Viscera
Apr 24th, 2003, 04:42:53 PM
DRU! How could you not laugh at that? BAD! :spank

Gimme a courtesy chuckle!

Garrett Blade
Apr 24th, 2003, 04:47:04 PM
Expelliarmus!!!!!

Humour needs two words.

John.

Cleese.

End of story.

Darth Viscera
Apr 24th, 2003, 04:47:58 PM
Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

Telan Desaria
Apr 24th, 2003, 04:56:36 PM
I laughed.

Darth Viscera
Apr 24th, 2003, 05:09:13 PM
And you just know that there's something wrong when the British have less of a sense of humor than the Germans! :lol

Aegis Du' Caat
Apr 24th, 2003, 05:15:53 PM
ROFL!!!!

Awaits Marcus' response!

Destiny Stormrider
Apr 24th, 2003, 05:27:32 PM
I sense some panning coming along...

Darth Viscera
Apr 24th, 2003, 05:37:42 PM
Funny you should mention that, because apparently "panned" has stuck. Just the other day I say a CNN article and it used "panned" as an adjective just like Marcus would.

Admiral Lebron
Apr 24th, 2003, 05:52:51 PM
I found it very funny.

Lilaena De'Ville
Apr 24th, 2003, 06:43:23 PM
If something is panned, that means that its been dumped. Like they panned the movie - basically it got tore to pieces because it sucks. It's always been a word.

ReaperFett
Apr 24th, 2003, 06:51:42 PM
If a movie is badly recieved, it is panned by critics

Telan Desaria
Apr 24th, 2003, 06:54:38 PM
I would have assumed a panning when one was hit with a frying device. Hence frying pan

Marcus Telcontar
Apr 24th, 2003, 07:03:37 PM
a) You have no idea how political that is right now here. That's exactly the type of thing that bastard Howard would love.

b)


But the independent-minded Aussies were not making it easy. In a two-hour meeting at midday, Australian representatives listed their demands: immediate inclusion in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, a permanent CNN presence in all 6 Australian states, a worldwide ban on hiring Paul Hogan, a primetime U.S. television contract for Australian Rules Football, and a 4,500-mile-long bridge between Sydney and Los Angeles.

U.S. negotiators immediately walked out, calling the Australian Rules Football request "absurd."

DAMN RIGHT! Now do it now or we'll lob missiles full of Fosters at Washinto DC and London!

Charley
Apr 24th, 2003, 07:12:09 PM
:| now Australia is threatening us with WMDs

Kelt Simoson
Apr 24th, 2003, 07:23:26 PM
I think its Fosters that got Aussieville drunk in the first place. :)

Morgan Evanar
Apr 24th, 2003, 07:25:58 PM
Panning is an old term. The critics did it to every Mel Brooks film.

I love Mel Brook's work and think most critics should rot.

Kelt Simoson
Apr 24th, 2003, 07:26:35 PM
In hell?

Sameer Aryan
Apr 24th, 2003, 07:40:40 PM
Kelt! Don't wish bad things for Hell! It doesn't deserve that! :(

AmazonBabe
Apr 24th, 2003, 08:16:32 PM
DEATH TO CRITICS!!!!!!!!!!


...




































Was that a lil over the top? :D

DarthHERA
Apr 24th, 2003, 08:34:34 PM
:lol


I think that is pretty darn funny. Makes me homesick - I miss that type of humor.

Charley
Apr 24th, 2003, 09:29:32 PM
I really need to compile a list of "Jobs I have no respect for". Critics are high up on that list...ahead of philosophers, even.

ReaperFett
Apr 24th, 2003, 09:36:47 PM
LL, EVERYONE's a critic :D

Charley
Apr 24th, 2003, 09:38:29 PM
Yes, but some are actually paid to do it, which galls me.

Helenias Evenstar
Apr 24th, 2003, 09:51:02 PM
Originally posted by Kelt Simoson
I think its Fosters that got Aussieville drunk in the first place. :)

I think there is someone not understanding why no self respecting Australian will touch bottled battery acid aka Fosters. Now get me a chocolate bar or I'll force you drink a case.

Charley
Apr 24th, 2003, 10:08:38 PM
Well it is duplicitly odd that you never hear of any quality Australian brews, isn't it :)

And before you fill out the "what utter rot, you're no aussie" bit, I am a beerologist. I've had multiple beers from South Africa, China, Russia, Cuba, and Italy, but strangely enough, only one from down under. Very strange. ;)

Helenias Evenstar
Apr 24th, 2003, 10:21:00 PM
Australians are smart. We export the bad stuff and huggle the good stuff for ourselves. Like (I know its not beer, but it'll serve as an example) Cabury Creme Liquer. Touch any of that and you die.

AmazonBabe
Apr 24th, 2003, 11:02:40 PM
:lol!!!

I absolutely love Irish Creme whatever it's called (help me out here, Charley... I'm not liquer expert). That stuff in YUMMY! :D

Charley
Apr 24th, 2003, 11:09:06 PM
So you say, Helen. So you say.

I have tried Two Dogs, which is pretty good, as far as sugar-sweet panty-droppers go. But it still isn't beer. I lump that with all the ciders, Bacardi Silvers, Smirnoff Ice's, and Mikes Hard Lemonades out there. Good for getting your ladyfriend wasted, but too much acidity. Still searching for a "good" Australian beer. I even found a good Canadian beer, so weirder things can be done.

And AB, you're talking about Baileys. The stuff isn't meant to be taken straight. Its a flavor liqueur, like Kahlua, Triple Sec, etc. Personally, its not a favorite, but I'm rarely one to drink a mixer with it in there. I've done Mudslides, and those are ok, but I've also had cement mixers, which are awful. For liquor...I prefer it straight and hard. Kentucky bourbon does me no wrong.

AmazonBabe
Apr 24th, 2003, 11:17:44 PM
Ah, yes. Bailey's Irish Creme. Very nummy. And I always drink it straight... but only a little bit at a time, otherwise too much of it in one gulp goes STRAIGHT to my head. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. :D

Marcus Telcontar
Apr 24th, 2003, 11:23:30 PM
You'll have more luck finding an Australian wine. There's not a big beer export buisness. Fact is, I'm not sure if any beer made here is exported. Any 'Australian' beer like Fosters is produced O/S.

Likewise, you would be pushing crap uphil finding even Budweiser in this place - Only really German beer makes it to these shores. And Guiness.

Charley
Apr 24th, 2003, 11:23:51 PM
Its times like this that I wish I had a facial tick emoticon. :|

AmazonBabe
Apr 24th, 2003, 11:45:43 PM
Facial tick... um...

http://smilies.crowd9.com/contrib/corky/smilies3.gif

http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/corky/smilies8.gif

http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/corky/smilies27.gif

http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/sarge/Twitch_anim.gif

http://www.computerpannen.com/cwm/cwm/cwm/freak3.gif

?

...

Hmmm... I think this one http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/sarge/Twitch_anim.gif looks like it's having some sort of facial tick.

Lilaena De'Ville
Apr 24th, 2003, 11:58:26 PM
You drink BAILEYS STRAIGHT?! :eek

:x You are insane chica!

Figrin D'an
Apr 25th, 2003, 12:03:13 AM
It's not insane. Bailey's on the rocks is something I have myself at times.

Taylor Millard
Apr 25th, 2003, 02:05:07 AM
I've had Bailey's Straight more than a few times.

Darth Viscera
Apr 25th, 2003, 09:45:03 AM
You people have hijacked a perfectly good thread about a satire and turned it into the Wino club!

Mike Sheilds
Apr 25th, 2003, 09:51:54 AM
*writes down drink names for when I turn 19*

Drinking!

Morgan Evanar
Apr 25th, 2003, 12:07:05 PM
Charley, its true. They keep everything in .au. Swans and a couple others. My dad is probably as much of a beer conesuir (hate that word, I'm too stupid to spell it) as you are.

Lilaena De'Ville
Apr 25th, 2003, 12:08:37 PM
...yeah well I've never tried Baileys, but the fact that its a flavored liquor gives me pause. :p

BEAM straight is NASTY stuff. :x

Anyway, back to Australia. :D