Alana Stormcloud
Apr 7th, 2003, 02:39:54 AM
Coven's Mercenary/Hunter
Posts: 44
(8/1/01 6:42:10 pm)
Reply
The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The time is here again and Gaven along with Eldorack were chosen to be two of the three judges. At the last minute the third judge grew ill so Mockadane was asked to fill in. The deciding factor in this was the fact of free beer during the tasting for the judges, so Mockadane is anxious to get started.
Here are the score cards from the event:
Chili #1: Sara's Maniac Monster Chili
Eldorack- A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
Gaven- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Mockadane-Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one.
Chili #2: Aya's Afterburner Chili
Eldorack-Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Gaven-Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Mockadane-Keep this out of reach of children! I am not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneurver. they had to walkie talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
Chili #3: Syruss' Famous Burn Down The Barn Chili
Eldorack-Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
Gaven-A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
Mockadane-Call the EPA! I have located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sick.
Chili #4: Nadia's Black Magic
Eldorack-Blackbean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Gaven-Hint of lime in the blackbeans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Mockadane-I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 1b. barmaid is starting to look HOT! Just like this nuclear waste I am eating....
(READ NEXT POST FOR THE CONTINUATION OF THE STORY)
Mockadane
Mercenary/Bounty Hunter extraordinaire
Captain of the Vengence.
Spice addict from the planet Merker.
Under the employ of the Coven.
Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!
Mockadane
Coven's Mercenary/Hunter
Posts: 45
(8/1/01 6:56:10 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(STORY CONTINUES....)
Chili #5: Sanis' Legal Lip Remover
Eldorack-Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding a considerable kick. Very impressive.
Gaven-Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Mockadane-My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told him that his chili had given my brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really angers me that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Damn them!
Chili #6: Bowdin's Very Vegetarian Variety
Eldorack-Thin yet bold vegetarian chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
Gaven-The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.
Mockadane-My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone!
Chili#7: Soth's Screaming Sensation Chili
Eldorack-A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Gaven-Ho hum, tastes as if the chef lierally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Mockadane. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Mockadane-You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like crap to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killled me. I've decidedd to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili #8: Saurron's Volcanic Eruption Chili
Eldorack-A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold by spicy enough to declare it's existence.
Gaven-this final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Mockadane passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it.
Mockadane- ------------ (editor's note: Mockadane was unable to report.)
Mockadane
Mercenary/Bounty Hunter extraordinaire
Captain of the Vengence.
Spice addict from the planet Merker.
Under the employ of the Coven.
Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!
Miranda Dunleavy
Vampyre Assassin
Posts: 47
(8/1/01 7:01:36 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blinks......
Ayanami Rai
Dark Angel
Posts: 931
(8/1/01 10:25:55 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LMFAO!!!!
3 beers is better than two, no?
Jedah Lynch
Winged Death
Posts: 19
(8/2/01 6:18:23 am)
Reply Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...............
If I had been looking for inspiriation to do a Coven version of Star Wars Inside Out I just found it.
*Grins*
Razielle Lynch
Lady of the Eventide
Posts: 7
(8/2/01 12:08:02 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*hides behind Jedah*
What the....
[Shadow Domain] [The Sith Empire] [Bio]
BOWDIN
Vampyre Overlord
Posts: 584
(8/4/01 10:31:36 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ROTFLMAO!!!......If you only knew how much I needed that!!!
I kinda feel sorry for poor Sally standing there behind you Mock!!!
Now we need a Blood drive!!!
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 735
(8/12/01 7:36:41 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wipe my <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> with a snow cone
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 96
(8/13/01 12:54:55 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*gives Saurron a puzzled look*
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 742
(8/14/01 4:10:13 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thats what it said!
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 99
(8/14/01 10:08:58 pm)
Reply Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*starts laughing*
BOWDIN
Vampyre Overlord
Posts: 595
(8/15/01 12:11:56 am)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It did!!! And just think.....That's my chile.....so beware.
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 101
(8/15/01 9:48:36 am)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it said.........."Wipe my BUTT with a snow cone"Guys!
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 747
(8/15/01 9:35:39 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
lmao
Whatever woman!!!
Butt...<smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>...
It's all the same thing
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 103
(8/15/01 9:46:04 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*looks at him*
Since when don't I have a name???
and you're right........I supose..........so you win this one!
BOWDIN
Vampyre Overlord
Posts: 600
(8/15/01 11:52:54 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This one!!!
Goes to the calendar and marks it down.....Saurron one....Sari nil!!!
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 755
(8/16/01 9:01:42 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your names not woman? hehe
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 109
(8/16/01 9:14:31 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*glares at him*
No............................it isn't!
Miranda Dunleavy
Vampyre Assassin
Posts: 57
(8/16/01 10:05:41 pm)
Reply Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
slap him anyway ... and make sure he DOESN'T like it!
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 761
(8/18/01 7:35:00 am)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh that'll be hard to do...make me not like it that is.
Sees Sari dragging out the step ladder... Uh oh
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 110
(8/18/01 8:13:07 am)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
step ladder
that was just mean Saurron!
Posts: 44
(8/1/01 6:42:10 pm)
Reply
The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The time is here again and Gaven along with Eldorack were chosen to be two of the three judges. At the last minute the third judge grew ill so Mockadane was asked to fill in. The deciding factor in this was the fact of free beer during the tasting for the judges, so Mockadane is anxious to get started.
Here are the score cards from the event:
Chili #1: Sara's Maniac Monster Chili
Eldorack- A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
Gaven- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Mockadane-Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one.
Chili #2: Aya's Afterburner Chili
Eldorack-Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Gaven-Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Mockadane-Keep this out of reach of children! I am not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneurver. they had to walkie talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
Chili #3: Syruss' Famous Burn Down The Barn Chili
Eldorack-Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
Gaven-A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
Mockadane-Call the EPA! I have located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sick.
Chili #4: Nadia's Black Magic
Eldorack-Blackbean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Gaven-Hint of lime in the blackbeans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Mockadane-I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 1b. barmaid is starting to look HOT! Just like this nuclear waste I am eating....
(READ NEXT POST FOR THE CONTINUATION OF THE STORY)
Mockadane
Mercenary/Bounty Hunter extraordinaire
Captain of the Vengence.
Spice addict from the planet Merker.
Under the employ of the Coven.
Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!
Mockadane
Coven's Mercenary/Hunter
Posts: 45
(8/1/01 6:56:10 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(STORY CONTINUES....)
Chili #5: Sanis' Legal Lip Remover
Eldorack-Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding a considerable kick. Very impressive.
Gaven-Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Mockadane-My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told him that his chili had given my brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really angers me that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Damn them!
Chili #6: Bowdin's Very Vegetarian Variety
Eldorack-Thin yet bold vegetarian chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
Gaven-The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.
Mockadane-My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone!
Chili#7: Soth's Screaming Sensation Chili
Eldorack-A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Gaven-Ho hum, tastes as if the chef lierally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Mockadane. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Mockadane-You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like crap to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killled me. I've decidedd to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili #8: Saurron's Volcanic Eruption Chili
Eldorack-A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold by spicy enough to declare it's existence.
Gaven-this final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Mockadane passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it.
Mockadane- ------------ (editor's note: Mockadane was unable to report.)
Mockadane
Mercenary/Bounty Hunter extraordinaire
Captain of the Vengence.
Spice addict from the planet Merker.
Under the employ of the Coven.
Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!
Miranda Dunleavy
Vampyre Assassin
Posts: 47
(8/1/01 7:01:36 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blinks......
Ayanami Rai
Dark Angel
Posts: 931
(8/1/01 10:25:55 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LMFAO!!!!
3 beers is better than two, no?
Jedah Lynch
Winged Death
Posts: 19
(8/2/01 6:18:23 am)
Reply Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...............
If I had been looking for inspiriation to do a Coven version of Star Wars Inside Out I just found it.
*Grins*
Razielle Lynch
Lady of the Eventide
Posts: 7
(8/2/01 12:08:02 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*hides behind Jedah*
What the....
[Shadow Domain] [The Sith Empire] [Bio]
BOWDIN
Vampyre Overlord
Posts: 584
(8/4/01 10:31:36 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ROTFLMAO!!!......If you only knew how much I needed that!!!
I kinda feel sorry for poor Sally standing there behind you Mock!!!
Now we need a Blood drive!!!
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 735
(8/12/01 7:36:41 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wipe my <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> with a snow cone
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 96
(8/13/01 12:54:55 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*gives Saurron a puzzled look*
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 742
(8/14/01 4:10:13 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thats what it said!
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 99
(8/14/01 10:08:58 pm)
Reply Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*starts laughing*
BOWDIN
Vampyre Overlord
Posts: 595
(8/15/01 12:11:56 am)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It did!!! And just think.....That's my chile.....so beware.
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 101
(8/15/01 9:48:36 am)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it said.........."Wipe my BUTT with a snow cone"Guys!
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 747
(8/15/01 9:35:39 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
lmao
Whatever woman!!!
Butt...<smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>...
It's all the same thing
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 103
(8/15/01 9:46:04 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*looks at him*
Since when don't I have a name???
and you're right........I supose..........so you win this one!
BOWDIN
Vampyre Overlord
Posts: 600
(8/15/01 11:52:54 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This one!!!
Goes to the calendar and marks it down.....Saurron one....Sari nil!!!
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 755
(8/16/01 9:01:42 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your names not woman? hehe
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 109
(8/16/01 9:14:31 pm)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*glares at him*
No............................it isn't!
Miranda Dunleavy
Vampyre Assassin
Posts: 57
(8/16/01 10:05:41 pm)
Reply Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
slap him anyway ... and make sure he DOESN'T like it!
SAURRON
Master Vampyre
Posts: 761
(8/18/01 7:35:00 am)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh that'll be hard to do...make me not like it that is.
Sees Sari dragging out the step ladder... Uh oh
Princess Sari
Dark Rose
Posts: 110
(8/18/01 8:13:07 am)
Reply
Re: The Annual Coven Chili Cookoff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
step ladder
that was just mean Saurron!